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JeffreyL
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Everything posted by JeffreyL
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Nothing analytical, I just wanted to remind you I'm back to enjoying this story. Thank you.
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I enjoyed meeting Adam and Troy. Your first chapter was a good introduction and set up. Like some of the other comments I am guessing things are going to get difficult for the boys sooner than later. Thanks for sharing this story.
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I think it's time for a group hug! Thanks, as ever, for these great characters and this wonderful story!
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Maybe you should revisit this story from Jason's point of view. As someone already asked, "Who is he posting these pictures for and why?" This is a great short story! You created a very complete picture, and yet you could easily expand it. Thank you. Jeff
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I hope Randy can help TJ feel better about himself. I know teachers don't have much real power, but it would be great if Mrs. Jones could help TJ as well. I am really enjoying this story.
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We Lift Them Up To The Lord
JeffreyL commented on Sean J Halford's story chapter in We Lift Them Up To The Lord
I think I need to read this a second time. The comments from other readers made me realize I understood the story, but I got caught up in the words/language and missed some things. The Cape Town locale is a strong memory for me. The exchange student my senior year was from there. We became good friends, and I was lucky to get to visit her after college. Anyway, your story is beautiful, I enjoyed it, and I will look for other stories you've written to read. Thank you. -
If you want to make changes in yourself, Mr. Lee is glad to help. These four stories have Mr. Lee and his unusual shop in common. Each story can stand alone, but I think reading them in order gives the reader a clearer picture of what is happening. These were easy to read and very enjoyable! Yet in spite of being lots of fun to read, the message I got was "be careful what you wish for."
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All four stories were a lot of fun! I think I liked Zak and Marc best. If you know the address of Mr. Lee's shop, I'd appreciate it if you would send it to me. I would like to stop by the next time I'm in San Francisco. Thanks for sharing! Jeff
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The Architect (Part One)
JeffreyL commented on FlyOnTheWall's story chapter in The Architect (Part One)
I wanted to help your "inner vampire." Your characters are a lot of fun! And Charlie is a joy to know! I think each chapter makes me like this story a bit more! Now, if you could only learn to spell your name correctly... 😜 Thanks for sharing this story. Jeff -
Three Months in the Summer
JeffreyL commented on Aceinthehole's story chapter in Three Months in the Summer
I was unhappy with the ending of the last part of this story and with the beginning of this part. This chapter helped me turn a corner. I have been attached to Teddy and Ryder almost from the beginning, and I'm back to that feeling. Thanks for this interesting, complex story. -
I continue to like Kohen more with each chapter! Your supporting cast continues to be intriguing. I look forward to Captain and Kohen developing a relationship at some point (sooner than later would be good 😉). Thanks.
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I just got caught up and enjoyed every minute of it! Thanks for sharing your story. I look forward to more.
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This story is new to me, and I enjoyed chapters one and two. You did a good job introducing your main characters. I look forward to reading more. Thanks.
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You once again show your writing skills and the power of your words. I'm still not really happy about how this story is moving forward, but you are true to your story and its beginnings. Thank you.
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Teddy Haner to the E.R! Teddy Haner to the E.R!
JeffreyL commented on Aceinthehole's story chapter in Teddy Haner to the E.R! Teddy Haner to the E.R!
I agree with Rndmrunner, this seem like the beginning of book two not the end of book one. It makes this feel less like a stand alone story to me. After caring for these characters and enjoying this story for so long, I am not certain how I feel after reading this chapter. I think I'll let it alone for awhile and then re-read. Maybe then I can sort out how I feel. -
Once again I gave this chapter a heart, but it is more for the overall story than this chapter. I love these characters, and I don't love where this appears to be going. However, I am not going to quit reading. I am too invested in these characters.
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I gave this chapter a heart because it was amazing! Grandma getting hit and killed while wandering was not. It is realistic, and there were hints, but it is still tough. I hope Teddy can be strong and get Ryder through this.
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Thank you for clarifying. That does make sense.
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It's amazing how Teddy really stepped up at the dance! Ryder isn't the only one getting stronger. And what a perfect moment between Ryder and his grandma at the concert! Thank you.
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I am confused by some of the comments for this chapter. I thought it was important to stand up for/with people being put down or picked on. Wasn't that one of Ryder's complaints early in the story that Teddy didn't stand up for him? And yet the way I read some of the comments, I'm not supposed to speak up? Regardless of the answer, I was proud of Ryder's speech at the concert, during the interview later, and at homecoming. All powerful messages. This story just gets better and better! I am glad to see Ryder becoming strong. Thank you.
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I enjoy were/shifter stories, especially ones where the "rules" about the were/shifter behaviors have been changed from what you usually read. This story has a very promising start! I look forward to more. Thanks.
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The Gap Year (Part Two)
JeffreyL commented on FlyOnTheWall's story chapter in The Gap Year (Part Two)
I an enjoying things from Charlie's point of view. And I appreciated Frankie wanting to apologize and give Charlie better closure. -
I could really feel the energy of the crowd in your writing! And Ryder's words to and about Teddy were... I am not certain what superlative I want to use. Your writing in this chapter was even better than the excellent writing we are used to! Thank you!
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Anxious to see what kind of trouble the new character creates.
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Great chapter! I hope the meeting up during the tour works like they think it will.
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