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JeffreyL

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Everything posted by JeffreyL

  1. I just binged chapters one through seven and watched your writing improve chapter by chapter. I like your characters and dialogue. I don't mind the multiple points of view. I didn't find the story hard to follow as some complained earlier. You must have had it in for Cam when you set up the plot. 😉 He has lived through more death in a relatively short time than most people do. I look forward to seeing where the boys go from here. And I thought Alex and his dad we're both out of line with Dr. Millie. I understand they have been through a lot emotionally, but she didn't say anything that deserved a verbal attack. Lastly, if you're taking a poll, I vote for the original version of "Sounds of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkle. But then I'm old. 😜
  2. JeffreyL

    Hunting Season

    Hey Carlos! It is always a pleasure to read a story written by you. Bonus for this one, it is about CJ and company! This is certain to generate more gun control dialogue. I appreciate your evenhandedness (is that really a word?) in dealing with this topic. Thank you.
  3. JeffreyL

    Chapter Eleven

    Come on, Bryan. Don't listen to your brain so much. In this case listen to your heart. It is always fun to have the kids from Meadowbrook drop by. Thanks.
  4. I highly recommend this well written story. There are parts of this story that are unpleasant, but they were handled carefully. The characters are believable, and I quickly came to care about them. The dialogue and the feelings of the characters seemed realistic. Now that all the chapters are available, this will be one of those hard to put down kind of stories. Thanks to Ronyx for sharing this story.
  5. JeffreyL

    Chapter 18

    Of all the songs you could pick, you managed to find the one that always makes me cry. This was a good ending to a great story. The post-graduation ending was a nice wrap up. Your readers can easily project the future for these two. Thanks for this most enjoyable story.
  6. JeffreyL

    Chapter 12

    Only three chapters to go kinda spoiled the good feeling from reading this chapter. 😉 Every time I read a chapter I enjoy the voice you've given Cal! I am glad we get to listen in on his internal dialogue. It keeps me smiling. Mostly. When he overanalyze things and is hard on himself, I feel bad for him. I hope he can sort his feelings about his parents. Thanks for giving him this amazing boyfriend. And thanks for giving us these wonderful characters.
  7. JeffreyL

    Chapter 2

    After reading two chapters I am wondering why you are writing this story. Is it autobiographical? Is it therapy? Is it to bring awareness to child abuse? I'm not giving up yet, but it is very hard to read. Lisa expressed a lot of my questions and concerns in her comments. Thank you for sharing your writing.
  8. JeffreyL

    Chapter One

    I am curious to see where this story will take us. Poor Trevor is a mess already, and the trip hasn't even started. How has he been able to be friends with Dustin so long?
  9. JeffreyL

    Chapter 12 - Ian

    The first date went well in spite of the rough beginning and the abrupt ending! I love the connection these two have, and I look forward to watching it grow stronger. Thanks.
  10. This was a good second chapter. I was pleased with the way you gave us a lot of information about the symptoms of alcohol withdrawal but didn't let it get boring. It will be interesting to see what Jake's personality will be like as he gets more sober. I'm looking forward to meeting Nats in the next chapter.
  11. JeffreyL

    Chapter 17

    Thank you for not dragging things out unnecessarily. Hopefully (with one chapter left) Troy and Jayden have turned a corner in their relationship and will be able to move forward together. I support donaldbirwin's idea of a sequel.
  12. JeffreyL

    Chapter 11

    Interesting that Cal runs into his dad at work. Maybe he can get some closure. Enjoyed the make up sex, if that's what you'd call it. Still really enjoying this story! Thanks.
  13. JeffreyL

    Chapter 11

    Interesting that Cal runs into his dad at work. Maybe he can get some closure. Enjoyed the make up sex, if that's what you'd call it. Still really enjoying this story! Thanks.
  14. I am not feeling insightful or profound, especially after reading the other comments. I will just say although I often find it sad, I am enjoying this story and these characters you've created. Thank you.
  15. JeffreyL

    Chapter 11 - Adam

    Some day someone should take your three stories involving Liam and Will and put the chapters in chronological order. I don't know if it would really work, but it sounds good to me. I enjoyed this chapter, especially the extra information about Wade and Stephen. The hamburger sounds interesting. It's like a combination of different burgers from Red Robin (a local hamburger restaurant). I'm not sure I could eat a whole one. No wonder Ian and Liam consider it a "hamburger fix."
  16. JeffreyL

    All for One

    Another step forward for Teddy and Ryder. Teddy still has work to do. When are his actions going to match his words. I am curious to see how things are for Teddy when Ryder's music takes off.
  17. JeffreyL

    Chapter 7

    I enjoyed the flashback to their first meeting! Looks like there is hope for the guys based on the end of the chapter. I am glad Don is starting to sort himself. Even more glad he "responded to Louis' touch."
  18. JeffreyL

    Chapter 16

    You know cliffhangers are not good for an author's health. 😜 I can't imagine what Troy feels like after losing his sight, but you make his feelings and reactions to others feel real. I am certain getting on with his life will take some time. I really liked the talk with Dad. Sometimes as a parent you are lucky enough to find the right words to say. Now hurry up with that next chapter!
  19. JeffreyL

    Chapter 10

    Cal is an amazingly crafted character! I like the others and the way they fit in with Cal's world, but Cal is special. The way you have him telling us his story has been done by other authors, but it really seems to fit with Cal. I really like how we get to hear his thoughts! His doubts and insecurities are endearing. Thanks.
  20. JeffreyL

    Chapter 41

    There were several special moments in this chapter. Even when things are tough, there is a lot of love and caring to be shared. Thanks for more time with this great bunch 8f characters.
  21. It's an interesting premise. I am not certain Jake has a realistic expectation for becoming sober and healthy quickly. I am not certain what the clinical definition of alcoholic is, but I'd bet Jake's picture is by the definition in the dictionary. I like the premise of telling the story through journal entries. I'm looking forward to reading more.
  22. JeffreyL

    What Could Be

    Ryder is one of my favorite characters on GA! I am totally intrigued by his relationship with Teddy, and I am happy to see him interact with Liz and Blake. I can't wait to see how the tour turns out. Thanks.
  23. JeffreyL

    Chapter 10 - Ian

    I am enjoying watching Ian and Adam figure out this connection they have. I kinda know where this ends, but I can't wait to see how you get them there. Thanks
  24. JeffreyL

    The Black Sheep

    It was a good chapter. I learned a lot about the dynamics of Teddy's little group. You just keep uncovering layers of Ryder. That's what makes him such an interesting character.
  25. JeffreyL

    Chapter 9

    I expected more from Kati, but I am glad she backed off a bit. I expect to hear more from her later. I wonder what Mark is thinking. Is it smart to press charges when you started the fight and threw the first punch? Doesn't Davey have a lawyer friend or acquaintance that can help Cal? Your story just gets better. Looking forward to more. Thanks.
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