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JeffreyL
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Everything posted by JeffreyL
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Nicely done! You've made this very visual, and it works!
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I feel bad for Jake. Things are starting to unravel and he doesn't know why. I am anxiously waiting for the next reveal. What will happen? Thanks for more good story.
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A most enjoyable story, and a nice job of misdirection! Thank you.
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You just continue to get better and better at this poetry thing. Don't ever sell yourself short about poetry. Story writing may be your comfort zone, but you,sir, are also a poet! Well done!
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The start of recovery, a reunion, and hot sex made for a very enjoyable chapter! Thank you. I think I like these guys a little more with each chapter.
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Chapter 4 - Sore Nuts, A giant, and A yellow bug... Oh My!
JeffreyL commented on Jordn87's story chapter in Chapter 4 - Sore Nuts, A giant, and A yellow bug... Oh My!
Maybe Brady was more than a jerk as a teenager, but I like him now, and I hope he can reconnect with Nessay. -
Chapter 3 - 1.800.273.8255
JeffreyL commented on Jordn87's story chapter in Chapter 3 - 1.800.273.8255
A kiss is a good thing. The thoughts of suicide, not so much. Both are a part of life. Kissing back gives me hope there will be a dialogue, and maybe the friendship (at least) can be salvaged. -
Chapter 2 - Your Achey Breaky Nose
JeffreyL commented on Jordn87's story chapter in Chapter 2 - Your Achey Breaky Nose
Nessay is a spitfire! I feel badly for Brady's balls, but he really did have that coming. Brady is going to have a hard time making things right at this rate. -
Chapter 1 - Who Says You Can't Go Home
JeffreyL commented on Jordn87's story chapter in Chapter 1 - Who Says You Can't Go Home
Chapter one was great! I am a little behind, so I'll probably binge to catch up. Brady could be my kind of hero. Since he turned on Nessay and became a bully, it will be interesting to see how he tries to redeem himself. I look forward to reading more. On to chapter two. -
This continues to be a wonderful story with two great characters! Even more amazing, it is based on real people! Thanks for sharing.
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This may be the best chapter yet! Certainly a lot went on. I'm guessing Bas will want to bring his birth mother and siblings to Australia, at least for a visit.
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Wow! Things got interesting quickly! Doesn't Mike know his sister-in-law and nephew are bigots and very disruptive? I wonder when Bas will get fed up, quit, and find a job managing another station. With all the good he's done for Mike's and She's station, you would think they wouldn't want to lose him. I also wonder how many of the staff would leave if Bas left. More good story. Thanks.
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Good and not-so-good in this enjoyable chapter. Thank you.
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Sounds like trouble is brewing for Bas. If things were going as well as we were led to believe, I can't imagine why his parents want the uncle and family at the station. Especially since Bas and Barrett are still in charge.
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Allen has seemed pretty fragile up to now, so it is not nice to end this chapter like you did. I really like the characters and story, so I'll let it slide for now. 😉 How nice to get Star and Ticker together. I hope it turns into something nice. It sounds like maybe Joey is ready to make some changes for the better. Thanks.
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Well I gave it a heart because I really care about these characters. I thought about using the angry face because I am not happy about this development. However, from the other story (William' Love - as if anyone has gotten this far and doesn't know that) I knew that this was coming, and I know Adam and Ian will resolve things. But wow, this was hard to read, and probably hard to write. Thanks.
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Ah, young love. And hot groping! What a great combination. I am enjoying Jake's calm happiness and Kaiden's lack of confidence after years of being confident. And I hope you're not tired of my repetitiveness, but I love Kaiden's internal dialogue! It make me laugh, although I never know if I want to hug him or shake him! Great story. Thanks.
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Well, you were right. That was a smidge of drama. It's 7interesting how a school community can be impacted by an event like this, even the students that don't know Wesley. Thanks for more good story.
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Happy times all around! I loved it, but I suppose it's time for some drama.
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How nice that the boys were finally honest with each other. I am anxious to see what happens with the leukemia. Looks like Jam will have a family. Thanks.
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Hopefully Joey and Allen, with some help from Star and Ticker, can help and support each other. It's a good thing Joey has a bit of a quirky sense of humor, otherwise this story would overwhelm readers with sadness.
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I'm hooked! Write fast. 😄 Thanks for this great beginning!
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Finally, the confrontation! I can't wait to see how everyone reacts! And champagne, strawberries, and whipped cream must be a classic romantically speaking. I loved your version with the spewing champagne, falling off the bed, the cork, and of course the Ian sundae. It really made me chuckle. Thank you.
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Thank you Tim for this good story! The people, plot, settings, and dialogue all seemed so real. The challenges after a life changing event were realistically portrayed. I got the impression this was not based on your life, which, to me, makes your writing even more impressive! You probably could have ended the story when you did and not have an epilogue, but it added so much to the story and was good closure for us readers. Thanks again. Jeff
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