.jpg.aab3271f148b5b54ae5c210774bf4b13.jpg)
.jpg.b69bc2144ea9673c6267465bede62dd8.jpg)
JeffreyL
-
Posts
5,994 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Forums
Stories
- Stories
- Story Series
- Story Worlds
- Story Collections
- Story Chapters
- Chapter Comments
- Story Reviews
- Story Comments
- Stories Edited
- Stories Beta'd
Blogs
Store
Gallery
Help
Articles
Events
Everything posted by JeffreyL
-
Another good chapter! And thank you for shifting back to Paul and Jeff. I do like Raymond, but he and Daniel kind of took over for a bit. Any way, thanks for more good story. It was fun at the haberdashery to see how the other half lives.
-
It may be a no bullying culture, but I think Chris's bullying has been slowly escalating from when he was chosen to be captain. Push a little, get away with it because you're captain, and next time push a little more. My other thought is it is a group of boys. Not to dis my own gender, but males tend to fall into a pecking order. And with a group of kids, the adults are often the last to know. Thanks for your comments. Jeff
-
Since the POV changes between Declan and Bailey, will we hear Chris' and Eric's conversations with administration? I hope when the dust settles, Bailey will realise he can trust Declan. This was a powerful, well written chapter. Thank you.
-
Your story is off to a great start! I will need to reread it to be certain I have my facts straight. I am always a little slow to acclimate to a new world. I like Hector and Jamie, and the supporting characters are interesting. I was a little confused by the grandma's names and nicknames, but I'm sure I can sort it out on the reread. I know I'm going to enjoy this story! Thanks. Jeff
-
Very nice, and a little insightful. Thanks. Keep 'em coming!
-
Glad to hear Odie got rescued. It's great everyone gets to be reacquainted with Uncle Luke and his family!
-
Based on a couple of earlier clues, this was just about what I was expecting from a visit by Miriam. I was a little surprised by the level of hostility she showed Louis. I wonder if they are rid of her, or if she will be back to cause more problems. I liked Gran a lot! Seems like everyone did. I don't suppose you have her chocolate cake recipe to share? 😄 More good story, Tim. Thanks.
-
I really enjoyed this story. It helps me to better understand your latest poem. Thank you for sharing this.
-
You are really growing in your ability and confidence. Your poem is an interesting look at the roles in a dominant/submissive relationship. I especially enjoyed the tenderness in the last few lines. My only criticism is just a grammatical correction. In the middle stanza, I believe the line "And it is I who is at your command" should be "And it is I who am at your command." Thanks Wolf for another good poem. Keep up the good work!
-
Like others I am feeling bad for Ian. I've gotta think Adam didn't stand him up on purpose. I'll try to be patient for the next chapter...
-
Good party! I hope you will share some of the "unwrapping" details in the next chapter!
-
This is a beautiful story! You brought out strong emotions in just a few words. Your characters are fully developed without excess words. Oh, and yes, I cried for the last third of the story. Than you.
-
.thumb.jpg.39c2ec46ffb55a3ad075be8e406530a7.jpg)
Chapter 2: "Confusing Contact"
JeffreyL commented on Grydan's story chapter in Chapter 2: "Confusing Contact"
Just read chapters one and two. It's been a l-o-n-g time since I had to deal with the drama and trauma of school, but your writing nicely captures the sound and feel of those times. Your characters are interesting. I am intrigued by the relation between Phillip and Jaime. I don't have a brother, so I don't know that dynamic. Looking forward to reading more. -
You've gotta love a friend like Ava! I agree with Bryan. Ava was way more calm than I expected. But I'm glad she has a plan. Have I said it lately, or too much? I love these characters!
-
Oh Wolf, you keep getting better. This was beautifully written and very powerful! Thanks to the CPR guy we get to enjoy your writing, both stories and poetry. I don't know you, but I am familiar with your writing, and I'm glad you are still around. Thank you. Jeff
-
Just binged chapters one through nine. Your story is hard to read and impossible to put down. You have done an amazing job if creating these realistic (to me) characters! I have no clue what it is like to be beaten severely or to wake up to find I'm blind, but your writing has made me feel Troy's pain, anger, and frustration. The same with the myriad of feelings of Jayden, Claire, and Troy's family. The bad part about bingeing is I now have to be patient for more chapters. Thanks for this excellent story!
-
WWAS? What will Ava say? It must suck to find potential love while in the closet in a small town. And the plot thickens.
-
I am caught up, and will now need to be patient with postings. I agree completely with Canuk. I love the way the story is evolving! I am more and more intrigued with Cal. I hope you will go into more detail on his backstory. And isn't Kati a piece of work. I wonder why Davey is friends with her.
-
Davey's self-assurance. Cal's self-doubt. The steamy sex. Your writing does a great job of conveying all of those parts of the story, and it all adds up to a great story! Thanks.
-
In spite of no condom, the sex was hot! I believe in social responsibility, but sometimes a story, as you stated, is just a story. A lot happens in fiction that would never be OK in real life. Davey and Cal should probably have a more complete conversation about where this relationship is going. Still loving this story! Thanks.
-
I read chapter one and enjoyed it. I commented on being behind and new to the story. Then I read chapter two. As I read along the story became more and more familiar. Then I read the comments; one of which was mine. Boy, did I feel foolish! So I just finished chapter three. It is new to me. I am liking Cal more. Still really liking Davey! You have given Cal a real voice. You have made his confusion about his feelings sound real, especially considering his background. On to chapter four.
-
I just started reading today, and I'm several chapters behind. Cal is an intriguing character. And him getting knocked out at the end of the chapter makes me want to see what is next. Good start. Thanks.
-
Gotta love our hero, who, by the way, still does not have a name besides Hott Dogg. How lucky for H.D. and Jed to end up with the Crenshaws! This family just gets more and more interesting! Isn't it amazing what a difference a supportive family can make. Thanks for more good story.
-
I must say how much I enjoy Grant and Rowan! I am a sucker for the gentle giant genre in gay fiction. (Is it a genre?) Your supporting characters are quirky in an endearing way. The birthday picnic was romantic and hit! Thanks for more good story.
-
I thought things were going too smoothly. Sure Don was in a terrible accident, but he's recovering. Sure Rena has decided to move closer, but she and Louis work well together and seem to be getting closer. And now they have found a great house. Then you end the chapter with Miriam walking in the door with the guys in the middle of a kiss. And all the foreshadowing suggests she is homophobic. And worst of all you end the chapter. Not nice Tim. 😜 Seriously, more good writing about interesting, realistic characters. Thanks.
.thumb.jpg.39c2ec46ffb55a3ad075be8e406530a7.jpg)
