JayT
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story critique Improve & Encourage #11: TJ
JayT commented on Renee Stevens's blog entry in Gay Authors Archive
@jkwsquirrel thank you for the critique. I hear what you are saying and agree. These are things I've been working on. I write better reports/research papers than creative pieces...and TJ is the second creative piece I've attempted. I've learned a lot about slowing down and allowing the story to evolve naturally. I'm glad you're enjoying the story...there's more to come -
I don't remember what chapter I said it in, but I'll say it again, It's sad when two emotionally stunted people fall in love and neither of them knows what to do about it
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TC2 - Chapter 4: Rob’s First Thursday in Tampa
JayT commented on Brayon's story chapter in TC2 - Chapter 4: Rob’s First Thursday in Tampa
SInce granddad signed away custody rights, there really shouldn't be a case at all. He chose to turn his back on Rob, no judge is going to ignore that. -
He does seem to care about his kids a little and he's smart enough to leave his car at work when he's too drunk to drive. The thing that worries me is the gun. I have feeling it's going to come back up again sometime in the future and maybe not in a good way....I hope to hell that I'm wrong
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Damn he's a douche....that's all I have to say about that
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I freaking loved how you gave Horus' hair the traits of ruffled feathers.
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I'm wondering if it has something to do with the fact he postdates chapters
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The Pool Boy and the Cowboy
JayT commented on FlyOnTheWall's story chapter in The Pool Boy and the Cowboy
Let me just say, I feel your pain Hunter. I'm a native Texan and in the next month or so I'm going to be moving to deep woods East Texas and living in a small town called Rusk. I'm originally from southeast Texas and my natural accent (which I dropped when I moved to the Dallas area almost 30 years ago) always comes back when I visit either east Texas or southeast Texas. anyone north of Dallas pretty much has an accent to me. -
FINALLY!!!!!! she stood up for her son and the principal grew a pair and stood up to everyone like he should have done in the beginning....That History teacher is a douchebag and a half....Billy needs to take him down a peg or ten
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Oh the boys are back!!! I miss my Harley though....I wanna know how he's doing in school and if he's fallen in love with something with two legs instead of two wheels
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I think Noah is okay with the IDEA of BIlly and Nick...in actuality, jealousy might rear its ugly head...Nick's response the shower was exactly what thought it would be. I felt sorry for him...I hope Billy doesn't start to treat Nick differently when he finds out he's a foster kid, and Nick needs to honest with Billy about that for any hope in the future. If he starts out on a lie, he'll have to keep building on it and things could spiral out of control.
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if only this were some romance story, but I think Hans is going to swoop in and kick both Jake's and Klause's asses
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Jake's going to into a depression missing Klause, Diaz is going to figure everything out and convince Jake to go back to Klause because he wants what's best for his brother....or something like that
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Remember though, there's also a harbour. So....
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See I originally said 1970's, but then thought about the fact he has an 18 year old kid. My parents are of the generation that would've served in Vietnam and I thought about when my brother turned 18 and when I turned 18. For it to be set in the '70's, she would've had to have been born in the 60's, maybe 50's and that throws the timeline with Vietnam off.
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I'm thinking it's set sometime during the 1980's, maybe 1990's. You have a Vietnam War veteran with an eighteen year old daughter. Still not totally sure about the location, but knowing you it's probably Canada
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Coming Home, Finding Home
JayT commented on FlyOnTheWall's story chapter in Coming Home, Finding Home
Geoff, how could you do that to my Hunter??? I'll console him and make sure he's taken care of -
I read that as his preference to bottom not orientation.
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That's why when I was in my Sociology classes for school, I became a meninist. (instead of a feminist) It goes beyond just the hate for men...look at how TV ads and the movie industry portray "the perfect male look" There's no way in hell I would ever get abs like that.
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I remember the day she put the "Poet" status on her profile here. It was me, her, and a few other late, late, really freaking late at night (read early morning but shh) and she mentioned to me she had been considering putting it up on her profile but she wasn't sure if she wanted to or not. I talked her into finally and she would thank me all the time for giving her that push to go ahead and do it....I'll miss you lady...RIP
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Chapter 7 Another Man's Shoes
JayT commented on Headstall's story chapter in Chapter 7 Another Man's Shoes
It wasn't a psychologist. It was merely a counselor. Big difference. -
Chapter 7 Another Man's Shoes
JayT commented on Headstall's story chapter in Chapter 7 Another Man's Shoes
It almost sounded like Dick's therapist brainwashed him. I'm a gay man and I'll admit I've had dreams about women....I can have sex with a woman, doesn't mean I'll fully enjoy it, but the equipment works. If Dick is trying to kiss Drake, then he needs to take a second look at what campus therapist told him and maybe get some advice from a psychologist or psychiatrist not a counselor. -
The only reason I said this is because think about Nick's situation....he's been in the system so long, never had anyone tell him they love him, and now he's suddenly being told he's part of this family he just met that day and getting everything he ever wanted.....and then Noah comes along and flirts with him hardcore then drops the girlfriend bomb then gets to move into his room then gets him high and finally gets him to shower together....Nick's mind has got to be whirling.....and I can't help but wonder what the dads would think about the events that happened upstairs
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It almost seems to me that Noah is kinda leading Nick on a bit...I'm sure he is attracted to Nick, and he knows Nick is attracted to him, but telling him they probably won't be kissing much because he has a girlfriend and then offering to shower with him and initiating the shower j/o scene is kinda giving Nick some false hope
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A Florida Christmas and Beyond
JayT commented on FlyOnTheWall's story chapter in A Florida Christmas and Beyond
Can we get an update on Hunter and his man??? Pllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
