stlstage

A very interesting and entertaining story. Do yourself a favor though and proofread your writings or find an editor. There were so many errors referencing the wrong characters. I had to figure it out on my own by the process of elimination. For instance, your headline for the final chapter is, "What does life have in store for Ramon and Antonio? Will it be a happy ending?" Should this not be Ramon & Marcos? Another example from this chapter, "After what felt like hours, Ramon reached Marcos' room, it was huge and he saw Anthony and James there but his eyes were fixed on Ramon who looked peaceful as he lay on the bed, shirtless and with a big bandage wrapped around his abdomen. He had blood connected to him and Ramon was more than happy that Marcos was not wearing any oxygen mask which meant that he was doing well." It wasn't Ramon who was lying peaceful on his bed, but Marcos. Errors like this can turn off readers and cause them to stop reading your tale.

I think I enjoyed this story more than the others Carlos. I especially enjoyed the way you incorporated the politics of the current day with your tale. It's comforting to me that there are still those who lean a bit conservative that actually detest the doings of the MAGA crowd. Great job!

I know you have edited this once at least, but Beale Air Force Base, is in California, not Nevada. It's just north of Sacramento in the Central Valley. It is just over 2 hours driving time from Reno, NV

Wonderful story. I keep thinking, since Covid has shaken the educational system, new ways were needed to keep the learning process fresh and eventful. Many have not been able to adjust and opted out for early retirement. There is more than one structured way to learn. Your story emphasizes this well.

I am sure you know this, but you changed your POV in the middle of this chapter. It took me a bit to find out who was telling the story, but I finally figured it out. Perhaps a bit of a warning the next time. Great story so far!

Great Story! I almost gave up on your tale in the first chapter. I had trouble following the plot and characters. All the details were opened up afterwards. May we all have a Rayna and parrots in our lives to keep us sane!

I usually don't comment until the end of the story, but I have to tell you how funny this tale is. It reminds me a bit of "Three Men and a Baby". You should write a screenplay and sell the movie rights to the story, or at least run it as a series on Logo. Keep up the good work!

Wonderful tale! Oh the woes and tribulations of coming out in a small town. But what a happy ending.

Wonderful upbeat story. I will always wonder about the parents who threw them out, but that's just me. Keep up the great work!

Is everyone a rich SOB in this story? It's tiring to read how rich and glamorous everyone is.

Another wonderful, comforting story. Family has no blood bounds. You told that truth beautifully.

What a great story. I followed along on Google maps and images the places referenced in your tale and felt like I have been on a world tour. Your attention for detail in your storytelling is remarkable. Keep up the great work!

I will be honest, I have been critical of your stories in the past, but I have found the "Dundee" series comforting. Perhaps it's the crazy turmoil we have lived through in the past year where great stress has been put on families and loved ones. Keep up the good work!

I normally do not read a story with a bi theme, but I read the first chapter and you had me hooked. Your comic relief was perfect. Dexter was my favorite character and he got the prize in the end!

Wonderful story! I suspect there are more elements of truth in it than most realize. Can wait to read more of your works. I would think Zane Gray would be very proud.