BDANR

This was one of those poems I had to read multiple times. I don't want to assume anything, but I had the impression that this was a love poem to self. An ode to one living and being resilient when it's tempting to abandon oneself after suffering great pain. Please correct me if my interpretation is wrong! Even so, I'd have to agree with AC: this was touching and another demonstration of your gift for poetry. Sending love , Bryant

I haven't yet, but want to! Have you seen it?

It was night. With me were Deko guards facing a line of descendants. An odd position considering I should’ve been standing with my own kind. It looked like roll call, but I recognized no one. I stood behind a guard verbally assaulting a man as though the sole reason for me being there was to oversee it. The man on the receiving end of the assault glared ferociously, his eyes taking on a tint of red. He appeared as though he was due to explode. I urged the guard to cease his sadistic attack, but

Thank you for sparking this discussion. The article poses thought-provoking questions on readers' thoughts when reading sc-fi. And it makes sense! If the reader is focused on the world the author is creating, they're missing out the on the "internal" world of the characters involved (thoughts and motives etc.). Two sc-fi author that comes to mind is Octavia Butler and N.K. Jemisin. While they're both intentional about creating these well-developed settings, the characters they create and how they interact with each other is arguably one of their greatest strengths and are prominent themes in their work. To ignore these would make you lose out on in so much that is packed in their stories. For other sci-fi authors, this could be somewhat discouraging.

I'm particularly moved by "Stripes" and the desire for freedom that is introduced at the end, creating an entirely new perspective on the poem. You're good at these unexpected turns and detours you take the reader on :P. Wednesday was written well, and you are good at immersing the reader in your story. I'm fond of the way you ended in this one as well, universes without bend and ocean without chart. Pretty and heavy :).

The first line of the poem is striking. You immediately grab the readers attention from that line alone. Your first and second stanzas are written in a way we all could relate. We not only do we get a glimpse of your story and your thoughts at the time, but we can put ourselves in your shoes and reminisce about our own first time, the feelings that came about from it, and the role of curiosity and research during those years. Eloquently done. The third and fourth stanza was heartbreaking, but I think it did well to showcase the real anxiety and exposure you felt from that moment. The fifth and sixth stanza were placed perfectly. I loved the way you described that moment in the fifth stanza and the space imagery you used was a beautiful touch to it. The last stanza was an excellent ending and I feel brings it all to completion.

Thank you for sharing this piece with us. This took a great deal of courage.

Thank you so much, NOSkis :D!! This novel has been so much fun to create and I'm ecstatic to hear that you and others are enjoying it as well. It's a tough story to write and I was afraid that I may be moving a little slow with updates. It's good to hear that's not the case haha. Hopefully, I'll finish writing the next chapter soon. Thank you for reading! - Bryant

Passionate, yet tragic. No one should be on the receiving end of that kind of vitriol from a parent, especially not you. You're a beautiful and talented soul bud, and no one can take that away from you. Bryant

Lydia, you get *snaps*. I wanted to *snap* to each stanza. You told your truth, and you did so unapologetically and directly. Your fierceness is noted .

You combined your dialogue, action, and description well in this chapter. AND this was an exciting part of the story :P. Good job, sir .

Thank you jp! And you'll soon find out ;).

8 days before... I held Barken tight that night. Something told me that scent I detected near our home didn’t belong to anyone from around here. My mind wouldn’t sleep. My dagger was close by, an easy reach in case something dared to come near. The wind created a draft in our home. Every sound put me on edge. Eventually, my body would allow me to sleep. At dawn, I wandered around the outskirts of Orion admiring the dark teal horizon that was only beginning to see the sun.

I liked the flow of this piece and the way you describe the sub's relationship to the dom. Nicely done :)!

I'm already picturing this piece as if it was being told orally. The rhythm, the metaphors. I'm in love with the images you created for us. An engaging and powerful piece. Thank you for sharing, Lydia :D!

Thank you, jp !!

One year later... The stars stood above an ocean view through the window. Fireflies congregated near the porch lamp in the corner of the awning. The fireplace was on and Miles Davis was playing low in the background. Uncle Charles and Aunt Gladys invited Devan and Jade over to spend some time during the colder autumn months. What better time to cozy up with the family? And maybe a friend… “Mmm, my parents used to play some Miles Davis on our long car rides,” Jesse reminisced.

I would recommend! I didn't get into the first and second movies of Thor and never got into his storyline. Some friends randomly took me and though I was hesitant, I enjoyed it a lot! Story was well done, characters were interesting. If you can sit still for two and a half hours and stay awake in theater (I can't), I think you'll like it :).

That's awesome you do slam poetry! There's a large slam poetry scene in Seattle as well and I'm blown away by the pieces poets perform. I used to recite poetry, but I'm no slam poet . I'm excited to check out your work :)!!!!! Welcome! - Bryant

@Cia: Thank you for this informative and helpful topic! I learned a great deal from this :). Sometimes you don't know when you're doing something that may turn off readers. This has offered me good guidance. @Narias1989: I'm the same. I'm pretty accepting and will give writers a chance to improve so I tend to look past a great deal. Spelling mistakes, mostly grammar, bother me far less than most. But there are a few things that will make me start skipping or stop reading a story: Dialogue: Admittedly, it's difficult to be good at it. Stilted dialogue was mentioned. Hearing how people talk to each other can improve this, noting body language and quirks. I enjoy authors who are good at describing human behavior and eliciting emotions without too many details. Which brings me to: Excess detail. Someone mentioned "stream of consciousness" narratives. Too much and monotonous information about someone's everyday life can be uninteresting. I fall into this trap as well. I prefer show over tell, though admittedly, telling sparingly works for me. Maybe I can add more to this when I'm not headed off to work !

This is beautiful. I found this courageous and heartwarming to share with us. May she rest in peace. Much love to you, Parker.

Idk if I could answer that ! I saw the movie yesterday!

I awoke peacefully under the afternoon light. The sun had a red hue. My skin sweated profusely under these heavy cloths, protection from the harsh cold that washes over the Soren Desert during sundown. One of the rocks beside me looked easy manageable to climb up on. Easier said than done. My body felt limp all over after a long sleep, my wounds were nagging me all over. And it had just occurred to me: I was alive. The shock hit me. Though it was hard to move, I removed my cloths and manage

The ending caught me off guard. Your imagery made me feel as though I was swimming the ocean. Thanks for this share !

I most definitely will, Sussins :)! Thank you for reading, Bryant