Potterslashfan

This was another good chapter, although it kind of felt like maybe the first half of a really long chapter. Not much to comment on because it is still all just starting to play out. Let's see what happens next!

1) I didn't see the thing with Preston coming, but you did foreshadow it well when talking about their appearances. I'm glad you are able to add depth to his character and make the antagonist at least a little endearing. 2) My first critique: Prestons father dying in a car crash at that point seems like an easy out for the plot. I think it would have messed Dot up a little more than it seems to have. Just a very minor quibble though 3) Drake shunning all bi men romantically is a form of internalized homophobia, probably stemming from Prestons attitude toward homosexuality. Drake seems afraid that all bi men would ultimately choose women because that's natural and the liking men is just about sex. He sees bi men as having a choice which he does not, and has low enough self esteem issues to not feel worthy of that choice. 4) I'm not going to judge Richard yet because we haven't met him yet. Bisexuality does exist, and if he fell in love with someone who happens to be female, then good for him. I reserve the right to hold judgment until we meet him and hear the whole story. 5) Good for Jimmy, putting it all out on the table but also knowing when to back off. Have I mentioned that I ❤️ him, just a little bit? Okay, maybe a lot of bit! Keep it up!

Jimmy 2 Preston 0. I'm interested to see if Cathy feels the same way. My ex's brother refuses to speak to him, but sister-in-law is tight with him. It's thanks to her that he even gets to interact with his nephews. I am loving the story!

That whole chapter was absolutely fantastic. The boys felt so natural together. The fight with the brother and the way things were handled felt very real and natural. I think I'm falling in love with Jimmy, and if Drake's not going to get HIS head out of ass then I may have to steal his fake boyfriend from him.

Great first chapter! A lot of intrigue and a couple of characters that seem like they are going to be loveable and frustrating at the same time. Will Richard want to hook up? Will Preston get his head out of his ass? Will Jimmy/Dean and Drake realize that they belong together? I can't wait to find out!

Nick is riding on top of the world right now! Hopefully he doesn't come crashing down. I'm glad he's giving attention to Billy and not fixating on Noah. For better or worse both Nick and Noah seem much older than 16. I think I'm going to call this story "Nick and Noah's infinite (Broadway) playlist" in my head. I'm looking forward to more. Oh yeah, I definitely prefer plot over porn in these stories.

I don't think that Noah realizes how easily he could accidentally hurt Nick by sending mixed signals or letting his horniness get the best of him. Do the dads know that he (they) smoke pot? Sharing a room, getting high, showering together are all things that could turn a surprise home inspection sour very quickly. Another good chapter.

I like the start. There are a few typos in it, if you like I can point them out. Other than that it is promising, if not a little fantastical. If this is going to be a fluffy, wish-fulfilment piece then I'll just sit back and enjoy the sweet empty calories for what they are. If this is going to be more of a serious work, then I would think that the pacing needs to be slowed down quite a bit. Overall, it's a good start.

Ok this story is getting way too schizophrenic. The time jumps, the perspective jumps, and extreme wish fulfilment combined with extreme tragedy, mixed with first person asides, it's all too much. This story could have wrapped up several chapters ago. The whole story felt like it hit its stride around chapters ten through twenty, but has lost its way ever since. I've invested so much time by now that I don't want to give up, but I just don't think I can go on with it. Sorry.

Very powerful chapter but the jump in time was jarring and not as effective naritively. I thought at first it was a dream, then I had to go back and check and see if I missed a chapter, instead of buying in to the drama of the scene.

That was an extremely difficult chapter. It made me cry. I don't know if "good chapter" is the right thing to say, but it was emotional and evocative. I hope the boys get fucked up in prison.

Great chapter. It hit very close to home for me. In fact, just yesterday, I had a very similar conversation with my brother whom I hadn't talked to in over four years. Unfortunately though, I was Tibot (minus the rape accusations). Drugs can really tear families apart, and it was a very realistic conversation that the brothers had.

This is such a powerful short story, and succinctly captures pain, sorrow, and hope all at once.

Wow. So intense and powerful. Words hurt, and this story captures the pain of the closet so incredibly well. I have tears streaming down my cheeks right now. A perfect short story. Thank you for sharing it!

Very cute story! Looks like a different double date is in the cards.

I'm glad you decided to continue with the story. Rob seems to be very well adjusted, maybe even a tad too well adjusted at this point. I have no problem with the cliffie... Leave them wanting more! I know I will be back for chapter three! Good job.

Good story! This was my 2nd time reading it, and I really enjoyed it.

Beautiful! Thank you for sharing this story with us.

Welcome Back! Great, witty, and fun chapter. You juggle so many personalities and conversations in such a skilled manner.

So incredibly sweet! Good thing I brush my teeth regularly or it might give a cavity! I do love my sweets and I love this tale. Good job!

This was a strong story. I would be interested in a follow up story should you ever be inclined to write it

I too felt like there were some unnecessary misdirection in the first chapter, but can also see where they fit into the young man's psyche. On this re read, I'm going to try to make sure that any comments are spoiler free, but I do have to say that both Dads (but especially Brett) grow up and mature a lot through the stories. I had forgotten that these guys were pretty typical (married) bachelors. I'm not sure if that makes sense or not.

@spikey582 thanks!

I'm going through for seconds. Gotta kill time to the next book somehow

I'm not sure who SD was whom you have referred to, but I was thinking while I read the chapter that it's pretty to good to have me crying over a character that I really didn't know. But loss is universal, and you could most definitely feel the boys' pain. Thank you, Carlos for bringing CJ into my life. The angst and plot twists aren't over the top, the whole world is believable (at least without having to press the suspension of disbelief TOO much **coughcoughObamascoughcough**) I love the writing, the stories, the characters. You are an inspiration, and I can't wait to read more of the ongoing adventures of a future POTUS. ❤❤