Will Hawkins

Mr B's interest in both boys implies a great deal more than is expressed in the text. Perhaps he is a representative of the alternate world, sent to make sure everything goes well – or maybe just a fag interested in the boys? Time will tell.

Okay, no more nit-picking.

Whew, I am out of breath – this chapter was what my father (a BG in the USAF) used to call a piss-corker, and he almost never used profanity! It is chapters like this that show the range of talent among the authors of GA. Congratulations on your excellent characterizations and superiot pacing. MrWill

Sound of panting and deep breaths – the IMMENSE number of comments on the first chapter of this story is a symptom of the intense interest your readers have in your work - congratulations. MrWill

With the general reaction to my suggestions being negative, I will cease making them.

AN interesting and different combination of lycan and atlantis fiction.

I am famous/infamous for being a troll who lives under the bridge that authors have to walk over barefoot on their way to publication. I a pleased to announce that I have found very few grammatical errors in this story so far – except one. There is no such word as 'anyways' that word is a common slang error of authors. The word 'anyway' (without the 's') is the correct way to spell the word. Please accept this remark as a suggestion only. It is not meant to disparaige or insult you as an author. Anyway, I love your story so far, especially Nan. She is a real character. MrWill

This may be fiction, but we are so close to this sort of police action in this country right now, it is scary.

This is my first introduction to dragon riders, but I am looking forward to becoming familiar with the genre

Thank goodness – mot a teen age 'coming out' dtory. I like those OK, but they get a little repetitive after a while.

Waning bells – could be because this story is appearing on GA!

The demise of Reyla was anticipated, but by entirely different mean than I had predicted. This is a great surprise. As a matter of fact, this sounds very suspicious.

I hate to be paranoid – no I don't. paranoid is my way, but strangers across the street worry me. MrWill

Blanche dropping the books id not a good sign. It looks to me like oneof your hidden hints about oncoming troubles.

This chapter was somewhat better in grammar, but there are still a few errors. MrWill

I am known as being the old troll who lives under the bridge and nips at the bare feet of authors as they cross over on the their way to publication of a story. On this story, I have already seen some errors in tense and grammar — the instructions that Nephylim offered you are really correct and should be quickly applied to your writing. To an old troll like me, nothing destroys my appreciation of a story quicker than grammatical errors. The idea of a youngster discovering magical abilities is a good one however, I am looking forward to reading error-less chapters. MrWill

It seems you have some readers who are somewhat more current on the Queen's habit as far as visits to Scotland. The differences in attitude in Oz and Scotland toward titles is interesting. My only experience with titles of nobility was many years ago when someone in my family discovered the fact that there was a title of, to me, unknown character way back in my family (we are of Scots and Irish background) so, they said, I have a tartan. I looked the Hawkins tartan up and decided I liked the colors/pattern, but that is where it ended, as I am the last of my line --- no marriage thus no children (and I will not even modify that statement to add, 'to speak of'.) MrWill

I realize this is just a story, but Edwin is going to have a fabulous essay to turn in when the holidays are over.

It seems to me, Q, that most of the animals to which you have introduced me in Australia are marsupials. Its too bad that the human male is not a marsupial also, it would be great to be able to go running without having your pieces bang around. The Amerind (native of North America) took care of this problem, sort of, with a loin-cloth, and some runners today, by starting out with a long strip of cloth about 4in wide and twisting it around so it fits about the waist, down along the crack and spreads out from the "taint" to be tucked into the twist in front, but a 'built-in pouch' would be so much more convenient, of course then one would have to be careful when bending over, not to 'flash' the spectators with the a**hole!. Of course the 'budgie smuggler' of the Aussie surfer is almost as good. Something tells me that Edwin is going to have a bit of an adjustment period to being in the care of his uncle.

I think our hero is goinng to have quite a theme to submit at the end of school holidays after having a flying trip to Scotland. Sorry I missed mentioning Tasmania as a location in this story, but I don't think my omission will hurt the Island's reputation at all. In Quokka's stories we have met quokkas on, was it Rat Island, now are we going to get an introduction to Tasmanian tigers? Which I understand is not really a tiger. I did an internet check on Tasmania and indigenous animal life. It seems that the Tasmanian Devil is still about, but as to whether there is a Tasmanian Tiger, people are not sure. It was declared extinct in the 30's, but there have been several (unproven) sightings in recent days. It is interesting to lose an animal like that, but we know it happens. MisterWill

I have followed your tales, Quokka, several times before and have thereby acquired some knowledge of Australia, especially its great northwest, so I am looking forward to reading this one, perhaps to gain some knowledge of Scotland as well. MisterWill

I am rather tired of reading the perennial kid comes out, gets thrown out of home, finds love with bachelor uncle, type of story – its good to read something a little more adult but with a sense of humor. Excellent dialogue as well, keep up the good work.

"Having regained all your word magic" implies a return to health – dare one hope that this is true. Remember, While Circumnavigation was my introduction to GA, I have developed a real passion for the Bridgemont series about the British navy over the years.

straight from a hard breaking, – straight from a hard braking, There is nothing 'broken' mentioned, but the streaks on the pavement would be the result of a too firm foot on the 'brake' pedal. I am well known, Mann, to authors on GA as the 'old troll who lives under the bridge an author must cross bare-foot on his way to publication' and picking up errors that even experienced author/editors eyes have skipped over. I choose not to be snarky and make comments about style, characterization, pace or any of the many other things about which an author is concerned, and I will not make any comment if the author feels in any way insulted by my 'suggestions', So, if my mentioning a grammatical error upsets you, just mention it to me by email and I will cease my nit-picking. misterwill2@live.com

I have learned a great deal about Western Australia from Quokka's stories. I have never felt the need to go to Nifty to read as, if the story is any good, it will appear on GA sooner or later, MisterWill