Uh - like what Freshman would ever show up for this? Someone would go to the police? People who undergo hazing rituals do it because they want something - usually to join a group. If they were beating new members of the team, I'd get it. Why would Sam ever want to be on a team with these jerks?
I liked the freshmen.
Such crazy parents wouldn't have let him go to public school. The dialogue, which is well written and easy to follow, sounds late middle-school to early high school so I was surprised he was supposed to be 18.
Interesting frame of mind - his mind is his prison. Not sure the parents are that believable. There are very few people this extreme - so they look a bit contrived and cartoonish.
I'm pretty sure families don't adopt kids without them getting to know each other first. Sam is an interesting name choice - I wonder where he comes from. Looking forward to learning more about this orphan.
Interesting setup makes you want to anticipate the new arrival and how they interact. I don't really like the Ferrari thing at all, even if there is an explanation. Its too extreme to be believable. But, I will read on and see....
This story is one of my favorites. I especially enjoy the Danish - its so sweet. I read a little Norwegian and it is similar enough that it is thrill to see it.
I stumbled upon this story on Nifty and checked to see if it were here before emailing a recommendation that it would be better suited to GA. Your writing is most enjoyable and your technical skills are very good. Not only am I enjoying this story, but this chapter in particular made me feel wonderful. It evokes those wonderful memories of first intimate exploration - way before the sex, but those first tentative touches and how we handled them. Bravo!
I DMed Albert today without a reply or indication he read my message so far. His last post anywhere - on GA or Twitter was May 20th. His absence is most concerning. I hope he is safe and doing well but I fear for the worst.
I didn't recall the mother getting charged with child endangerment, but it was alluded to here. Technically, he kidnaped the child since he doesn't have custody during the weekdays. If I got that wrong I probably glossed over that part of the story.
You tend to have antagonists who are just completely unreasonable jerks for no reason whatsoever. I would try to temper this in the future. Nice to know the child is a safely back. It may have been nice to hear details about his week away.