JamesSavik

When I reached 1000, I was all excited and posted a thoughtful note to share some wiz-dom for our younger members. Now I realize that to share some, ya gotta have some so I'll STFU now.

Hunter (Harris Allen) from QAF was always a hottie but they wrote him in so weird. First he was a gay hustler w/aids then he was a str8 kid w/aids. The writing was about Hunter but didn't include Hunter that much. Authors take note: this is a sucky way to treat a character and one that had a whole lot more potential than the show ever exploited. There were a few cute scenes with Hunter running around in his tightie whities that made it worthwhile.

Be a sucker. Wear your heart on your sleeve. Cry at movies. Trust people. Let me know how long you last.

I know nothing of this hockey thing about which you speak but I do love the Canadian hotties that play it.

uh... the sex is pretty good.

Tiger- you were 8. E-i-g-h-t. Forgetaboutit. Save your guilt for your thirties when you can properly savor it.

Sometimes you've just got to punt and play defense for a while. It's just how the game works. IMHO- compared to most 17 year olds, it sounds like you're doing a pretty good job managing your game.

Some people should stay in the closet. Like Boy George herion addict and overall douche-bag. I don't care if/when/why or how you come out- if you do, please make an effort NOT to be a douche-bag.

the sound of a flushing toilet

Years ago when I first started to paid with real money (not the monopoly money I had been getting), I discovered that I owed Uncle Sam $1100 on tax day. My boss was being a raging bitch. Three printers and the main router decided to go tits up all at once. My order for laser printer toner cartridges came back, again, because it wasn't formatted properly. I had 10 minutes to deal with my bank to get the money for Uncle Sam. It took 40 minutes. Bankers are like that. About 3:30 in the afternoon I get the beginnings of a cold. At four we have a thunderstorm that strikes one of our buildings rendering it deaf, dumb and blind. To make matters worse, my truck started making that noise that costs $600 to fix now or $1400 to fix later. When I finally get home after 10:00, I sit down in my chair and my cat Booger hops in my lap. I say, "Booger old pal, I had one hellva day." He sat listening to me complain with the kind of interest that cats show when humans are babbling about something that the human thinks is important. I make the mistake of ending my monologue with, "Oh crap, what else could go wrong?" Booger made a dreadful sound, "HU-RUFF" and hurled a monster hairball in my lap. Now I know. Ever since then I have made a point to never asked what else could go wrong. Trust me on this. You don't want to know.

There are as many devices for creating dept in a character as there are writers. Some of the most common are: Back story Gossip Flashbacks Implication Allusion Disclosure by 3rd party Jeff is a nice guy, fit and quiet in his demeanor but he's got a secret: he went to jail for six months for a drug rap. He's 20 now and starting college a bit late. Here's a few ways that an author might handle it. Back story The bell rang at ten minutes to seven just like it did in the joint. The difference now was that Jeff was heading to class instead of a sink full of breakfast dishes for a thousand. Gossip Michael whispered to his fag-hag Cheryl,"Who is that new guy. I mean Oh God what an ass." Cheryl, completely unable to let go of a juicy piece of gossip said, "Oh he's bad news Mikey. His name is Jeff something. My girlfriend Paige who works in admissions said he did some jail time for getting caught with X." Flashbacks Everything was going well with the fraternity initiation until they put a blindfold on Jeff. Suddenly his prison rape nightmare was happening all over again with the guys holding him helpless in a sheet while they took turns on him. He freaked out so bad he jumped out a second story window to get away. Implication Jeff's demeanor around other students was very reserved. He avoided conversation and eye contact. When it was necessary to engage another student, he was unusually intense and made a point to be the Alpha dog. Allusion Kirk said, "Come on dude let's go! It's spring break. What are you waiting for? Parole?" Jeff answered with a blank stare. Disclosure by 3rd party The stranger showed the two college students his Deputy Sheriffs badge and said, "Do either of you know Jeff Lorman?" Michael and Steven both nodded, "Yeah we know who he is." "You guys know who he hangs with?" Michael shook his head. Steven said, "No, he's not really the sociable type. He keeps to himself." The Deputy said, "Well, stay clear of him, he's bad news. He did six months of a dime upstate and got the rest of his sentence suspended for dealing. We're watching him and when he does screw up, we'll be there."

His eyes were the color of my balls: blue.

Not into it. I prefer the X-men to soap operas.

Clumber- Imagine if you will a very famous and flaming fairy priestess who for whatever reason refuses to come out. That's Clay Aiken. I'm sorry that he came out. He's bad for out image. James

He better keep his head low. I hear she's a good shot...

Is that a roll of quarter in your pocket or were you just glad to see me...

NO. Who would have ever guessed. Sometimes the only closet is the one in your mind.

Mr. Right is one of those old wives tales designed to keep you looking past Mr. Right-now. Get over it. None of us are getting any younger.

Conflict is the fuel of drama. If the stakes aren't high, if there isn't risk, if there isn't danger- why not just read the newspaper instead?

Is a stolen kiss any less sweet? delighted to hear that. It is a nice place.

I can't even imagine Kevin being a jerk. Is it possible to trip over your own feet? Of course but that's hardly being a jerk. It's being human. We are all allocated a number of blunders from the factory.

I'll let the pioneers take the arrows on this one and get version 2.0 when it's shaken down properly.

A few comments: I have to admit to some natural philosophy tendencies. Although I loathe PETA and think most environmentalists are stupid hippies, I am very Green. I respect nature and won't have anything to do with capriciously harming it. That being said, I believe that there is no good reason why we can use nature's bounty without trashing the planet. Well said Razor. Yes- they are constructs but I contend that they are more culturally derived than psychologically. Which is sort of what I was looking for in this exercise. Most people are thinking for themselves and, as Matha Stewart would say, It's a good thing. Legal vs moral: is a struggle that has gone on since the beginnings of government. Of all unlikely places, the old role-playing game D&D LAWFUL EVIL alignment illustrates this point best. Someone with this alignment is EVIL but behaves within the framework of the law. Played well, lawful evil villains can be some of the toughest enemies that you will ever face. They are organized, smart and have the law on their side. The difficulty with law is that it is a blunt instrument: a sort of one size fits all absolute. We see this in zero-tolerance policies with school administrators, police and prosecutors who are simply using these policies to push their own agendas.

Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley) is getting cuter by the year. If you've ever read my story Broken, Rupert looks a lot like the character Doug Edwards did. Brian Edwards, my dark side boyfriend, was his younger brother and looked like a younger, shorter version of Doug.

Some really bad pick-up lines: I wanna wear your ass like a hat. My pants are like a genie's lamp: rub them and something magic will come out. No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks? Q: Can I shag you for a million pounds? A: Of Course! Q: Can I shag you for a quid? A: Of course not! What do you take me for? Q: We've already established that, now we're just haggling over the price. Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package If you were a booger I'd pick you first. Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in You're so hot, your ass is on fire.