In The Arms of an Angel - 18. Chapter 18 Don't Leave Me

When Gabri’el had gone there was silence. Pasha had no idea what to say. Eventually, he had to break the silence.

“You remember then?”

“Yes.”

“Those men who came were right, weren’t they? You are a warrior and, from their point of view, you are an escaped criminal.”

“Yes.” Uzzi’el wouldn’t meet his eyes. He stared at the floor and chewed on his lip.

“And you’re dangerous.”

That wasn’t a question but Uzzi’el answered anyway. “Yes.”

“What have you done to me?”

Uzzi’el knelt before Pasha, his eyes tormented. “I never meant to hurt you, Pasha. I swear I did nothing consciously to hurt you.”

“Would it have made a difference if you’d remembered?”

“Yes. I would have run far away the moment I saw you.”

“You’d have run from me?”

“If that’s what it took to keep you safe.”

“Oh.”

“I’d like to think I’d have had the strength to walk away but I don’t know. From the moment I saw you there was…a connection. When I started feeling your feelings I knew. I didn’t remember but I knew.”

“Knew what?”

“That I’d found my mate, my partner. We bonded and I was helpless to do anything about it. I love you, Pasha. I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone.”

“What about Gabri’el?”

“Gabri’el was a mistake. I was young. What can I say? He was the kind of guy you’d want to lick chocolate off. I really believed I loved him— and that he loved me. Sometimes I think maybe he does but he’s not the loving kind. He’s a soldier through and through, always has been. I think he’s forgotten what it means to love. He thinks only of the next battle and how to get his men through it. That’s all I ever was, one of his men; one who was decorative enough to grace his table and passionate enough to keep his bed warm. He cares for me, I believe that. He just doesn’t know how.”

“Do you care for him? Still?”

Uzzi’el stared at him. “I want to be completely honest with you, Pasha. I suspect I have no choice. You know how I feel without me having to say a word. Yes, I still care for him. There’s still a pull but it’s not like it was before. Before when he called I had to come. Now, I can hear the call and walk away.”

Pasha nodded. “I believe you.”

They smiled at each other until suddenly something snapped and they were in each other’s arms kissing desperately, as if it was the last kiss they’d ever share.

Then Uzzi’el pulled away. “Pasha,” he said softly, regretfully and Pasha was hit by a wave of sadness and despair.

“No,” He whispered.

“I have to go.”

“Don’t leave me.”

“I have to. I’m a leader. People depend on me for their lives, their freedom. I can’t, in all conscience, stay here safe with you when people are dying in my name.”

“Then let me come.”

“I can’t, Pasha. You’re not a warrior. You wouldn’t last a day and I couldn’t take that chance.”

“Please. Please don’t leave me. Not now. Please. You won’t come back. I know you won’t come back.”

Uzzi’el took his hands and held them tight over his heart. “I swear to you, if I am able I will come back.”

“If you’re able?”

“Only death will keep me away from you.”

“Death?”

“It’s a war, Pasha.”

“I’ll know, won’t I. I’ll feel if you…”

“Yes.”

“Will I die too?”

“No. If I die the bond will break and you’ll be free of me.”

“I don’t want to be free of you. I don’t ever want to be free of you.”

Uzzi’el threw his arms around him and pulled him close. “I don’t want to leave you either,” he whispered in his ear. “I want to be with you forever and I will be. When this is over I’ll never leave your side again.”

“Uzzi’el?” The sharp retort drew them apart. Pasha looked up and saw Gabri’el in the doorway, his face expressionless.

“Gabri’el.” Uzzi’el’s voice was cold.

“It’s time to go.”

“I’m ready.” Uzzi’el gave Pasha a last kiss and stood up.

Pasha wanted to throw himself at Uzzi’el, hold onto his leg and never let go, but he was damned if he was going to look that weak in front of Gabri’el.

“I’ve left guards,” Gabri’el said to Uzzi’el. “Your human pet and his family will be safe.”

Uzzi’el glared at him, then strode out of the door and was gone.

Pasha sat immobile until he heard the front door slam then threw himself onto the bed and sobbed hysterically until he felt arms around him. He knew it wasn’t Uzzi’el, the arms were to slender, too soft and the smell was all wrong. It was Anna. She held him until he calmed and lay, gasping, knowing that some of the distress that tore at his heart wasn’t his own. It was comforting to know Uzzi’el was hurting as much as he was.

Somehow, Pasha made it through the rest of the day. The angelic guards were unobtrusive although he occasionally caught a glimpse of a shadow in the garden or heard the swish of feathers outside the window.

“Do you think they’re going to want dinner?” Anna asked

Pasha shrugged. “Don’t know.”

“Try to cheer up, darling. You know he loves you and he’ll be back as soon as he can.”

“I know but—” His stomach lurched as someone knocked the front door. He almost pushed Anna out of the way to answer it.

The man who stood on the doorstep was unfamiliar, but Pasha was instantly rooted to the spot in absolute terror.

“You must be Pasha. I thought you’d be bigger.”

“Who…who are you?”

“You might have heard of me. My name is Micha’el.”

Pasha gasped and took a step back. He froze as Micha’el’s hand touched his arm, then the world spun around him and went black.