The Orchestra - Sinfónia Lifsins - 15. Private Talk

“Have fun, Gunni, and call when you want me to pick you up!” Eiri called as he dropped me off at the restaurant where the ISO’s Christmas party was taking place. It was a small house a little further from the city centre, with brightly coloured walls and a warm, cosy interior. There didn’t seem to be any chairs, only comfortable-looking couches for people to sit and enjoy their meals. The music in the background was Tchaikovsky’s Pathetic, something I wasn’t expecting to hear in a place like this. Maybe it was why Karen decided to have the party here.

“One-sixty-fourth… Oh, yeah! I knew it!” The first thing I saw when I entered the restaurant was Dmitri running towards me and smiling widely. “Oh, Gunni, I’m so glad you came!” He hugged me tightly, messing with my hair a little.

“Sorry I’m a bit late. I didn’t mean to…” I tried to apologise. I could see that our table was full already, apart from four empty seats, though three of them looked they had already been claimed. They were probably just waiting for me.

“Ah, don’t worry! It’s a party, you arrive whenever you want!” Dmitri beamed, winking at me as he put an arm over my shoulder. He whispered his next words. “And as for our little plan, I’ll make you sit as close to Siggi as possible. He’s not in the best of moods, but he’s not in his worst either.”

“You still think we should go through with it?” I asked, also whispering, and suddenly not so sure trying to hold a conversation with Siggi would be a good idea. The cellist was glaring at us and seemed very angry already.

“Yes, of course we should! If it doesn’t happen now, who knows when you’ll have another chance?” Dmitri used his arm to bring me closer to him. “Besides, if it does fail, at least you have me!”

“I…” I tried to say something about his idea of a plan B, but my face was heating up too quickly for me to think of anything.

“C’mon, everyone is waiting! Let’s go!” Dmitri beamed again, guiding me to the ISO’s table. There were at least twenty people sitting at a long rectangular table, and most of them waved and greeted me when I approached. “Gunni, come sit next to me!” Dmitri called, indicating the empty space next to Siggi. I looked at the cellist, hoping he wouldn’t mind me being so close.

“What are you looking at me for? He is free to choose who he wants by his side,” Siggi grumbled.

“Yay, I can have the two sexiest people in the restaurant sitting all around me!” Dmitri all but shouted, grabbing my face and coming really close to kissing me right in front of everyone. “My life is perfect! Come, Gunni, I’ll be your protective shield against Siggi’s arseholeness!” He took my hand and made me follow him to his seat. He ended up next to Siggi and I was next to him. No sooner had I sat down and greeted my other immediate neighbours, when Karen and Gísli appeared from behind a heavy, ornate door and took the empty seats in front of Siggi and Dmitri.

“Oh, Gunni, it’s so good to see you!” Karen exclaimed as a way of greeting me. She came forward and kissed me three times on the cheek, making me blush a little. Everyone was looking at us now.

“Hi, Karen, hi, Gísli. Where have you been?” I managed to ask after she was back in her seat.

“We popped over to the kitchen to let the chef know Siggi will need some different stuff,” Karen began to explain, but she was interrupted by Siggi.

“They want to make sure I don’t die tonight, at least not against my will.” Everyone turned to the cellist with a mixture of fear and worry, but Siggi more or less ignored them.

“Ignore Siggi, he’s turned somewhat sadistic over the last couple of days,” Dmitri said, signalling that I should sit closer to him. He let his hand rest over my leg and grinned a little too suspiciously. “You just stick with me for the night and I swear nothing bad will happen to you.”

“Unless he decides to fuck you in the toilet.” Siggi commented off-handily. Because of the way Dmitri was grinning I was inclined to believe the cellist wasn’t just making fun of me, though Dmitri soon dismissed that idea.

“I wasn’t planning to do that. At least not to Gunni.” I felt my face burn again at the mention of my name. Dmitri winked at me, probably trying to say I was safe or something like that. His hand patted my knee reassuringly.

“Good. At least we won’t have to subject someone else to that stupid counsellor before the night is over,” Siggi answered, sounding even more annoyed than usual.

“You talk like I’m traumatising him, but FYI Gunni has been an enthusiastic participant in everything we do,” Dmitri said, nodding vigorously and patting me on the shoulder. I didn’t like to be put in the spotlight once again, particularly when so many people were around. At that moment all I wanted was to be swallowed by the ground and only come back when the evening was over.

“Yes, I can see his ‘enthusiastic participation’ expressed very clear in that blushing face of his,” Siggi commented, probably noticing my discomfort. “Did I mention he looks like a tomato? Did I mention I’m allergic to tomatoes?” He was almost laughing, but I didn’t like to be compared to something he was allergic to. It probably meant he considered me dangerous to him, or at least someone really unpleasant to be around.

“Are you going to list the full range of your allergies to Gunni now? Is that your idea of dinner conversation?” Karen butted in, sounding a little annoyed.

Siggi rolled his eyes and answered. “Do you have any better ideas?”

“I do, actually…” Dmitri interrupted, grinning at Siggi in a very weird way. Siggi almost grinned back.

“Er…,” I said, trying to let them know this conversation was freaking me out. Dmitri immediately turned to me with his brightest charming smile.

“Sorry, Gunni. I’m a bit overwhelmed by all the hotness surrounding me.” His hand found my cheek again, and I leaned into it, feeling slightly calmer by his touch. “But I’m doing my best to make sure neither of you are neglected tonight.”

“I…,” I tried to say again, intending to let him know I didn’t particularly mind if he only paid attention to Siggi. I would have plenty of other people to talk to, after all. Siggi interrupted me before I could get very far, though.

“He’ll have a heart attack if he keeps blushing like that.”

“Don’t listen to Siggi, he’s been silly.” Dmitri said, reassuring me with his touch. “Though if you want some space to breathe before the food comes, Siggi and I can disappear for a bit.”

“Well, I…,” I wasn’t sure if I wanted them gone or not; I liked Dmitri’s company, it was just a bit uncomfortable when he was so openly hitting on Siggi and me at the same time. I wasn’t sure I would be able to tell it to him, though. He seemed so happy between us I didn’t want to interfere. Thankfully, Karen answered for me.

“Yes, why don’t you go out for a bit and let Gunni talk to the rest of us?”

“If no one object...” Dmitri looked around, as if waiting for someone to raise their hand and speak against his plans, but nothing happened. “Come on Siggi, I think we have some ‘issues’ to sort out before our food is ready…” He took Siggi by the hand and they both left in the direction of the toilets.

“They’ll probably fuck now…” Karen said dreamily, like she was seeing the whole thing in her mind.

“We didn’t need to know that,” Gísli noted, looking at me out of the corner of his eyes. He tried to smile encouragingly, but it only made my face even redder. “If everyone is ready to order, I will call the waitress…”

We ordered our food soon afterwards. Karen said she knew what Dmitri and Siggi would want and suggested something for me. I decided to go with her suggestion, since she seemed to know the place well. The food arrived before Siggi and Dmitri.

“Aw, such a shame, their food will be cold by the time they’re done…,” Karen said, making a comic overdramatic face that soon turned into a wide smile. “Though they’ll probably be full of other stuff when they come back, they might not even need it…”

“You’re embarrassing Gunni,” Gísli pointed out without looking at me. I tried to turn away from them, but Karen squealed so loudly I was frozen for a few seconds.

“Aw, you’re sooo cute! Your red face is lovely, you know that?”

“Er… thanks?” I didn’t know what to say to that, and her comment was making me blush even more.

“Anytime!” Karen beamed, smiling somewhat creepily.

Dmitri and Siggi came back not long after we started eating. The oboist went straight towards me and greeted me warmly with a hug and a kiss on the forehead. His mouth smelled weird and his clothes were messier than they had been when he left the table. It was a bit horrifying to realise Karen had been telling the truth about what he and Siggi were doing. I never thought people actually did this kind of thing outside of porn movies.

“Oh, thanks, Karen, you ordered for us!” Dmitri said, looking pleased with his meal.

“Well, you were busy; I didn’t want to spoil your fun…” Karen answered with false modesty. She seemed very pleased with herself, looking at every detail of her friends’ messy clothes and hair as if she was some kind of special detective.

(...)

We didn’t talk much as we ate away our appetisers. As soon as he noticed I was done, Dmitri turned to me, putting his hand over my knee again. “Hey, Gunni, want to go outside for a bit while we wait for the rest of the food? I want to tell you something…”

Surprised by the invitation I made the mistake of looking towards Karen. Her eyes lit up in the same way they had done when Dmitri and Siggi had left the table earlier.

“What is it? Can’t you tell me here?” I asked, hoping Karen was imagining things. Dmitri would not dare do this kind of thing to me, would he?

“I can’t, it’s a bit…private.” Dmitri grinned in a way that would normally send fireworks down my spine, but this time it filled me with dread. When his hand moved from my knee to my neck and his body came forward, I had to use all of my self-control not to scream. “Sorry, but it has to be between the two of us.”

“You can go, Gunni, don’t worry.” I heard Karen say, though I couldn’t see her because Dmitri’s face dominated my field of vision. “If he tries anything inappropriate, you scream and we’ll be there in a flash,” She finished in an upbeat tone that was probably not completely serious. That she was joking about it probably meant that I should take it as a joke too and trust that Dmitri wouldn’t do anything inappropriate, but she was the woman who had been very excited about the idea of two men doing private things in a public toilet. How could I know for sure that she was telling the truth and not just being very excited about what Dmitri and I would potentially do away from them? How could I be sure she would help me if I screamed?

“It’ll be fine,” Dmitri whispered in my ear. His hand had found my cheek, and despite my fear I kind of melted into his touch again. “You can trust me.”

“Ok,” I finally agreed, still feeling more scared than relieved, though the rational part of my brain was telling me it would be all right; Dmitri had never done anything I didn’t want to before, there was no reason for him to try something now. “What did you want to say?” I asked as soon as we stepped outside.

“Calm down, there’s no need to rush. Let’s sit down first,” Dmitri answered, indicating we should sit on the giant twisted log that formed part of the restaurant’s porch. I did as he asked, and he sat beside me, pulling me closer with one of his arms. “It’s nice weather for December, isn’t it?” He asked, laying his head on mine. The sky was clear and there was some snow on the ground. “It’s just cold enough to make us want to stay close to other people…” Dmitri hugged me tightly, moving my body so that I could look straight at him. He positioned me on his lap, gently putting my head between his arm and chest.

“What did you want to tell me?” I asked, feeling nervous and strangely excited. I wasn’t scared of him anymore, but my body still felt very hot and about to explode in anticipation of whatever it was that he had in mind.

“I’ll tell you in a bit, let me just look at your cute face a bit longer. I like when we’re close like this,” Dmitri answered, using his other hand to take some loose strands of hair away from my face. The porch was well-lit, so I could see his face very well. He was smiling pleasantly and seemed truly happy.

“Ah… ok…” I let my body relax against his. It was a very comfortable position and I was beginning to like it. We stayed like this for a while, just looking at each other, until he decided to speak.

“You know, I think you’re really cute,” He began, smiling even more than usual. “I know I said this before, but it’s true, so I don’t mind saying it over and over again.” I felt my face heat up and he laughed. “Yeah, and that’s very cute too.” I was sure the blushing was getting worse. Dmitri probably realised it too, because he changed the topic slightly. “You seemed like a nice guy from the first day you showed up for rehearsal. It’s kind of sad that Siggi hasn’t noticed it yet.”

“I…”

“Hey, let me finish, ok?” Dmitri asked, his hand touching my cheek again. I didn’t try to speak anymore. “I was just saying that it’s a shame that Siggi is being so fucking blind. You’re an amazing person and, well, I got to know this because I’ve been spending a lot of time with you because Siggi was kind of a bitch with me too. Though that’s not the point.” Dmitri shook his head briefly, as if trying to scare away this line of thought. “Anyway, I’ve been spending so much time with you and kissing you and hugging you that I think I became addicted to it. I have a crush on you. And I want to be your boyfriend. Do you want to go out with me and make all the stuff we have already been doing official?”

My heart raced like never before. I looked at Dmitri, at his confident, warm smile, and couldn’t find the right words to answer him.