The Orchestra - Sinfónia Lifsins - 27. Vanilla and Chocolate

I was almost falling asleep again when Dmitri woke up and kissed the back of my head. I snuggled against his chest, letting him know I wasn’t sleeping, and he squished me with one arm. “Morning,” he mumbled through some messy strands of my hair, making me giggle. He still sounded more asleep than awake, and it was kind of cute. He dropped little kisses all over the back of my head until he reached the area between my neck and shoulders. Then, some emergency reflex kicked in and my giggles became roaring laughter while my body thrashed about trying to get away from him. I kept laughing long after Dmitri let go, until I almost ran out of air.

“Sorry, I…” I tried to say, still trying to recover my breath. Dmitri smiled.

“Ticklish?” I nodded, feeling a little embarrassed. I had never been kissed on that spot before, there was no way I could’ve known that my body was going to react that way. “Aww, it’s ok. I’ll try to keep away from there in the future.”

“I didn’t hit you, did I?”

“Not really, it’s fine.” Dmitri hugged me, trying to make me feel better. “You’re really cute when you worry about silly things like that.” His hands found my hair, and I relaxed against him. “Maybe you should stop thinking that every reaction of yours is some kind of mistake. It’s ok to be ticklish, or to scream when the unexpected happens, or even kick me in the nuts if that’s what it takes to calm you down.”

“I would never do that!” I almost shouted, mortified by the idea of causing that much pain to someone I liked. I felt my whole body heat up in embarrassment, but Dmitri just grinned.

“Don’t worry, I believe you.” He kissed my forehead and gave me a reassuring squeeze. “I’m just saying that unexpected things happen and you don’t have to feel bad for them.”

“Sorry, I…”

“And you don’t need to say you’re sorry, either. You don’t need to act like everything is your fault, ok?” Dmitri winked, and I smiled just a little bit. I opened my mouth to reply, but he cut me off. “And don’t even try to say ‘sorry’ for that too!”

“I wasn’t going to!” I protested, though I was smiling a little too much to be effective. We laughed and hugged and before we knew it, I was laying on top of him, giving butterfly kisses to his cheeks and mouth. After a while, he started giggling too. “Are you ok?”

“Just a passing thought,” Dmitri answered, grinning in a not-so-innocent way. I felt slightly uneasy, but he probably realised that. “I was thinking that this would be the perfect opportunity for you to figure out my ticklish spots.” The grin turned into a full smile, and he made me grip one of his wrists and hold his arm over his head. He looked pointedly towards his free arm until I understood what I was supposed to do with it, and for a couple of seconds I wondered if I should really go along with his idea. Dmitri looked like he was having fun, and he had already proven that he could stop things before they turned in a direction I didn’t like. So I decided to trust him and play along, mimicking his grin as I restrained both his arms over his head. I sat slightly under his hips and let my free hand explore under his pyjama shirt, touching his skin just faintly. He flinched as I got closer to his sides and armpits.

“You having fun?” he asked, trying really hard not to laugh. I brushed my fingers slightly over the area under his right armpit and his eyes squeezed shut. His lips trembled with the effort of keeping the laughter in.

“Yes, I am!” I beamed. Dmitri smiled briefly, but I moved closer to his armpit and he returned to his ‘I’m-dying-to-laugh-but-I-won’t-let-that-happen’ face. His body jolted upwards and my grip on his wrists slackened, but he didn’t move away. I felt a kind of childish excitement over the situation. Part of me could see the obvious sexual undertone of the scene, but it didn’t bother me much. I was just having fun with my boyfriend, making him laugh and twist his body under friendly tickle torture. I didn’t think of it as some kind of naughty game to get us in bed, and I had decided to trust Dmitri and his promise that he wouldn’t do anything sexual until I was ready.

And sure enough, after a few minutes of torture and silent squirms, Dmitri burst out in an uncontrollable fit of laughter. I let go of his wrists and he promptly grabbed the bed sheets around his waist line. I couldn’t help but laugh too; he looked cute and adorable, the kind of description he usually reserved for me.

“Oh, man, that was awesome!” Dmitri beamed once he recovered enough air. He wiped some tears off his face and showed me his brightest smile. “I haven’t laughed that hard in years!” Dmitri sat up, clutching his abdomen, and pecked me on the cheek. “Hope you had as much fun as I did.”

I nodded. “I think I did.” We stared at each other, smiling and enjoying the happy feelings for a while. Then Dmitri took a deep breath and moved out of the bed.

“I don’t know if the others were up yet, but if they weren’t, chances are that our laughing woke them up,” he announced, rummaging through a pile of used clothes on top of his desk chair. “If I were you, I would hurry to the bathroom before Karen or Siggi take over, or else you’ll have to use the bathroom downstairs again.”

“Ok, if you say so…”

“Bathroom is the next door to the right,” Dmitri said, his voice muffled slightly by the pile of clothes he now found himself half immersed in. I felt a little awkward staring at him navigating around his own mess, so I hurried to the bathroom.

The second floor of Dmitri’s house was basically a long corridor with three doors to the side, where the bedrooms were located. Karen’s was closest to the stairs, Gísli’s was in the middle, and Dmitri’s was the last one. At the end of the corridor was the bathroom. The door of Dmitri’s room was almost the last thing on the side wall, and the bathroom door opened outwards, which meant that as soon as I was out of the bedroom, I was facing an open door. Thinking that it meant the bathroom was free, I waked in.

The first thing I saw was Siggi’s backside staring at me. The second was his angry face yelling at me with some sort of green liquid running on the side of his mouth.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think you would…”

“That I would need the bathroom in the morning? Or that I would not be able to close the door properly because I was in a hurry to get in before I spilled bile and undigested medicines all over my pyjamas?” Siggi spat at me, looking so angry I thought he was going to grab me and rip my throat out.

“I’m sorry, I’ll go back to Dmitri’s room…” I said, trying to get out of his way before he became even angrier. He didn’t let me, though.

“It’s my room too, you know?” Despite the anger, Siggi looked just as frail and sick as he had the day before. I wished I could help him get better.

“I’m sorry. I hope we didn’t bother you,” I told him, really meaning it.

“Oh, of course not,” Siggi spat again, looking increasingly sicker. He rolled his eyes, and immediately put his hand on the wall for support. “Why would it be a bother to be dragged out of bed in the middle of the night when I was trying to sleep and recover from some fucking virus that might as well kill me in the next couple of days?”

“I’m really sorry! If I knew they would do it, I wouldn’t…” I wanted to step up and help Siggi get back to bed. The change of plans from last night had obviously made him suffer more, and it was the last thing I wanted to happen. I felt guilty about staying overnight unannounced, and guilty about having fun with my boyfriend while Siggi had been suffering all night long. It was not fair to him.

“Stop saying sorry, kid. It makes you sound even more annoying than you already are.” For the second time in barely a few minutes, I had been told to stop apologising, but this time it felt completely different. Dmitri had used kind words; he had wanted me to feel more comfortable around him. Siggi, though, spoke with so much hatred that all I wanted was to disappear in Dmitri’s room so I didn’t have to face him again. I felt my face burn from embarrassment, but before I could leave, Dmitri appeared by my side.

“Enough with the insults, Siggi.” He squeezed my shoulder, letting me know he would take care of things from now on. I wanted to relax against his touch, but the more I listened to their argument and to Siggi’s bitter voice, the more I wanted to just leave and never bother them again. “I guess we could’ve planned it better, but Gísli said you slept well in the end, so let’s all go have breakfast and start our day in good spirits!”

“How does he know I slept well? What proof you’ve got?”

“Gísli was watching you to make sure you weren’t having nightmares or gotten more feverish. He was the one who didn’t sleep.” Dmitri explained, and I felt sorry for Gísli too. I felt guilty that he had missed a whole night of sleep because of me. I would have to apologise to him soon, and hope he was not too angry.

“His problem, not mine. And I don’t feel like eating. You were probably too busy fucking your new boy-toy to notice that I’ve just expelled green stomach juices all over the toilet.” Siggi glared at me, like he was checking for signs that his rant was true. I couldn’t face him, not when my own mind was suddenly flooded by porn-movie-style shots of naked Dmitri holding me by a leather leash and asking if I wanted to ‘play’ with him. My imagination was scaring me, but thankfully my boyfriend answered quickly and brought me back to the real world.

“How about you join us at the table anyway? We have a guest; it’s the proper thing to do.”

“He doesn’t have to,” I said, though it came out more like a whisper. I felt really badly about Siggi and the all the trouble I caused him, I didn’t want to make it even worse.

Siggi acted as if I hadn’t said anything, though. He wasn’t even looking at me anymore. “I will go. You’re right, we have to entertain the guest.” His tone sent shivers down my spine. I had a feeling he was going to try to make my life just as miserable as I was making his.

Dmitri and I watched Siggi slowly make his way down the stairs. My boyfriend’s body was tense, like he was getting ready to jump on Siggi at the slightest hint that the cellist was about to lose his balance. Once Siggi was safely downstairs, though, he turned his attention to me.

“I’m sorry about Siggi. Don’t take it too personally, he’s really an arsehole when he’s sick,” he said, squeezing my shoulder again. This time, though, I didn’t feel reassured.

“I think we need to talk about it,” I said, looking at my own feet. After witnessing so much anger and realising how much trouble I was causing, I thought it was time to check on our plan to get Siggi to like me. Dmitri’s grip relaxed for a second, but soon he was speaking in his usual carefree tone.

“Sure, but now we don’t have much time. Your mum will be going soon, and if it’s ok with you I would like to see her off too. We can go to a coffee shop afterwards and talk as much as you want.”

“Ok, I guess that could work. And of course you can come with me.” I smiled at my boyfriend, feeling strangely touched that he wanted to be with me when I said goodbye to mum and wished her a safe trip back home. It was nice that he seemed to like her. It was reassuring, like the two of them hitting it off so well meant that I had made the right choice. “Thanks.”

(...)

When Dmitri and I got to the living room, Siggi was already sitting at the table with his head propped on his hands like he was making a great effort to stay awake, but Karen and Gísli were nowhere to be seen.

“Where are the others?” Dmitri asked. Siggi raised his eyebrows, like he was considering if he should answer, and took some time to speak.

“Gísli will be sleeping for the foreseeable future, and Karen wants you to help with breakfast. She’s waiting in the kitchen.”

“Cool, thanks!” Dmitri took my hand and dragged me to the kitchen. He seemed very enthusiastic about helping Karen for some reason. As soon as he saw her, he bear-hugged her from behind, almost causing her to drop the bread basket she was carrying. “Good morning, Karen! How are you today?” He asked her with the same kind of enthusiasm he had been showing since we left Siggi in the living room. It was hard to tell if Karen was annoyed or entertained; she scowled at him, but her tone was equally playful.

“I’m fine, thank you. How was your night?” She glanced at me, but kept her attention mostly focused on Dmitri. I felt mildly embarrassed thinking about the answer she was expecting. Most likely, it was nothing like what Dmitri told her.

“Cuddly and comforting! I slept like a baby!”

“Aww, how cute!” Karen beamed, and this time she stared at me more overtly. I felt my cheeks heating up, but I didn’t want to look away, in case she thought I was being rude. “So nothing ’special’ happened?” she asked Dmitri again. My boyfriend released the hug so that he could face her with his best attempt at an innocent face. It was only slightly betrayed by his grin.

“Oh, it was pretty special. Gunni is definitely top cuddlable material! We did all we wanted to do and had a great time, right, Gunni?” Dmitri turned his attention to me, and I felt my entire face catch fire.

“Ah… yeah, it was great,” I managed to say, in a voice slightly more audible than a whisper. Karen arched her eyebrows, and then smiled at us.

“I see. Well, I’m glad you had a good time. I hope you’ll come back more often, it was really great having you here.” She dropped her bread basket in Dmitri’s arms. “Now, if you don’t mind, help me set the breakfast table.”

“Sure. Is Gísli going to come down at all?” Dmitri answered, grabbing butter, a packaged salad, a bottle of vodka, and a penis-shaped salt shaker. He made a pile of everything in his arms and headed out of the room with the care and concentration of someone handling dangerously sharp knives.

“No, I told him to go sleep for a bit. Did he tell you he stayed up all night watching over Siggi?” Karen answered while Dmitri grabbed everything. He was walking out of the door when he spoke.

“Yeah, I talked to him earlier today. He did seem pretty tired.” Dmitri disappeared into the corridor, so Karen turned her attention to me.

“What do you normally eat for breakfast? You can choose anything you want from the fridge, and from the stuff Dmitri just took.”

“Thank you, but I think bread and butter will be fine,” I said, mostly because spying on their fridge felt like some horrible invasion of privacy. I was already feeling anxious because of the chaos my sleepover had created; I didn’t want to feel even guiltier. “Can you tell Gísli I’m sorry about last night?”

“Don’t be silly, there’s nothing to be sorry for,” Karen reassured me, laughing off my worries. “Gísli did what he did because Siggi was not feeling well. If you weren’t here, Dmitri would probably do it instead, but one way or another one of the guys would end up losing sleep because of Siggi. You don’t have to feel guilty about it.”

“Why do they do it?” I asked, suddenly even more worried about Siggi’s wellbeing. He would have to be doing really badly for his friends to think it was necessary to watch over him so closely.

“Siggi gets lots of nightmares, even when he’s not sick. It’s because… well, because of who he is, I guess. From what the guys told me, when he has nightmares, he thrashes about in bed, or sometimes even vomits and other nasty stuff. If he’s not sick, he wakes up after a while, so nothing too bad happens, but when he’s sick he can’t wake up on his own. So we’re afraid that he could hurt himself or worse if he’s not closely watched.” Karen sighed. She opened the fridge and took out two cartons of juice. “Though nowadays, Siggi is annoyed by our ‘babysitting’ as he calls it, so we try to only do it at night, and not when he’s sleeping during the day.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. The first thing I thought was that Siggi must have gone through some kind of horrible trauma to have nightmares so frequently. I had heard him ranting about spending a lot of time at the hospital when he was a child, but it didn’t seem likely that this could be the reason. Or maybe I was just biased because my mother worked at a hospital, and so all memories I had of the place involved happy doctors greeting me animatedly.

Thankfully, Dmitri appeared in the kitchen again before the silence became too awkward. He smelled faintly of vodka, but I had grown used to his strange drinking habits and incredible alcohol tolerance. “Gunni, help me get plates and assorted cutlery. Karen, Siggi said he won’t eat just yet because he doesn’t want to vomit on your nice pyjamas, so don’t bother bringing his food.”

“Fine, fine.” Karen rolled her eyes. “Did he say it in exactly those words?”

“Nope, but I don’t see any reason to spoil a perfectly fine morning like this one with all his crude swearing.” Dmitri and Karen smiled, like this was some sort of on-going joke. I helped my boyfriend bring everything to the table, and the four of us sat down for breakfast.

“We’ll eat quickly because we have to go take Gunni’s mum to the airport.” Dmitri announced when he was about halfway through his meal. He spoke with his mouth full of food, making it look like he had just remembered we were supposed to leave soon and couldn’t wait to pass on the information. “I’ll be back later today, I guess.”

“Why don’t you stay over your boy-toy’s this time around? You can fuck him all night long and I can have my bed back,” Siggi snarled, not bothering to look at us. I felt my ears heat up at the new conversation topic, and stared at the pieces of bread still on my plate.

Dmitri saw my discomfort and slung his arm over my shoulder. “Actually, there wasn’t any fucking involved last night, and there won’t be any for the foreseeable future either,” he answered somewhat harshly. My entire face heated up. It was embarrassing to hear our plans for a (lack of) sex life announced to everyone at the table like it was some kind of small talk.

“I don’t believe you,” Siggi said in a venomous tone. He didn’t trust my boyfriend. After everything Dmitri had done to make me trust him, Siggi’s words hit me particularly hard. It hurt to see that even Dmitri’s best friend thought he was some sort of sex-crazy animal.

“Too bad, Siggi, because that’s the truth,” Dmitri answered nonchalantly, though his hands were shaking. He dropped the piece of bread he had been eating and closed both hands into fists.

“Let’s not have an argument about sex of all things. You’re making Gunni uncomfortable,” Karen interrupted before things got too out of hand. She then tried to steer the conversation towards Siggi’s wellbeing, but he was so rude and cruel in his reply that Dmitri lost his patience. He didn’t look exactly angry, but he was definitely not cheerful as he told Siggi to follow him to the music room. Karen and I stayed behind in an uncomfortable silence, waiting to see what was going to happen, and too nervous to talk about it openly. Finally, after what seemed far too long, Dmitri entered the living room alone.

“Siggi is going to take a nap now. Karen, can you give us a lift to Gunni’s house? I don’t feel like eating anymore, but if you guys want to finish your breakfast, I can wait.” Dmitri looked really shaken up. His hands were closed into fists and he averted our gazes, glancing at the bookshelf instead.

“I’m not very hungry either,” I said. Being around an angry Siggi would’ve been enough to make me lose most of my appetite anyway, but after seeing Dmitri in such a state there was definitely no way I would feel like eating any time soon.

“I’ll take you guys now, then. I’m not hungry anymore either.” Karen got up and wrote a note to Gísli saying where we were going. She ran to her bedroom to grab her purse and the car keys, and soon we were on our way to Eiri’s.

We rode in silence through nearly-deserted streets. None of us were in a mood to talk, even if part of me was curious to know what had happened in the music room. I was also anxious to make Dmitri feel better. The journey was short, and Karen headed back as soon as we got out of the car.

(...)

After being so quiet during the trip, Dmitri completely transformed around mum, Eiri, and Jó. As the five of us headed to the airport, he flirted with my cousin, told us many funny anecdotes about other ISO musicians (none about Siggi, though), and reassured mum over and over again that he was going to be the model boyfriend and husband, that we would give her all the grandchildren she could possibly dream of, along with many more that she wouldn’t be able to handle. Mum, Eiri, and Jó laughed and joked back, and so this trip was as cheerful as it could be considering I was about to say goodbye to mum for a while.

I didn’t let go of mum until we were in front of the departure gates. In the car, I sat between her and Dmitri in the backseat, and she spent the whole trip caressing my hair as I lay on her shoulder. I stood in the queue with her as she got her boarding pass and checked in her luggage, and after that we walked arm in arm to the gates. I told her I had had a great night at Dmitri’s, but decided not to mention this morning’s troubles just yet. I would tell her later, once Dmitri was no longer around and I could stop to think about everything I heard about Siggi and his nightmares.

I only let go when it was time to say goodbye. Jó, Eiri, and Dmitri wanted to hug her too, so I stepped aside and watched, waiting patiently for my turn. I knew I was going to cry, and I knew that once I hugged mum again, it would be really painful to let go, so I tried to prepare myself for what was to come.

“When will we see you again?” Eiri asked. He was almost crying, but doing a good job of hiding it. They hugged briefly, like my cousin was afraid to show so much affection, and it caught me by surprise. He hadn’t been this distant when mum arrived. I wondered briefly if it had something to do with Aunt Margrét, but was soon distracted by other things.

“Hopefully soon. I had a great time here, thank you for everything,” mum answered. She didn’t seem too bothered by Eiri’s strange change of attitude. Jó stepped up next, and they hugged for a lot longer.

“Thank you for coming. It was great to finally meet you!” My cousin-in-law said, kissing my mum’s cheek. She kissed him as well, and they let go. It was Dmitri’s turn next, and my boyfriend surprised me by spreading his arms open, inviting mum for a hug the same way he did with me.

“You’re a very cool parent. Gunni is lucky to have you,” he said, and she smiled at him.

“I think I’m lucky to have Gunni as a son,” she answered, and I felt my cheeks burn. Next to me, Eiri clapped my shoulder for moral support. I wondered if he knew how it felt to be embarrassed by praise.

“Can’t argue with that. Don’t worry, we’ll take very good care of him,” Dmitri agreed. He patted mum’s back and they finally let go of their embrace.

“I can’t argue with that either.” They smiled at each other, and I felt a nice warm feeling spreading inside me. I was glad my mum and my boyfriend had such a good relationship already, and I hoped it meant mum trusted Dmitri as much as I was learning to trust him.

She turned to me then. Her eyes were already filled with water, and the sight of her ready to hug me one last time was more than I could handle. By the time I felt her arms around me, I was already crying and wishing this moment would never end. I was suddenly struck by how much I had missed her over the last two months, and I hugged her even harder. I held on to her as much as I could, painfully aware that it would be a lot longer than two months before I saw her in person again. I wished she could’ve stayed longer, that we could’ve spent more time together, that she didn’t have to go away.

But she did. She let go of me as her flight number was announced on the loudspeaker. She crossed the gates and walked with her face turned to us, waving until we could no longer see her. I felt someone hugging me from behind, and Dmitri’s face resting on my shoulder.

“It’s going to be ok. You’ve still got us.” He hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek. He didn’t seem to mind that it was probably covered in tears by now. I turned to face him and hugged his chest, burying my face in his jacket. “It’s ok.” He caressed my hair and we stayed like this for a while, until I felt like I could breathe without letting more tears fall. My chest still hurt from mum’s departure, but it was more of a dull ache rather than the sharp, unbearable pain from before.

I held on to Dmitri during the whole ride to the city centre. I had stopped crying by the time we left the airport, but it was nice to feel his comforting embrace around me while I tried to gather my thoughts and carry on with my life. Dmitri asked Eiri to drop us at a small coffee shop near the main shopping street, and we arranged to get a lift from them once we were done.

(...)

“Now here’s the deal,” Dmitri began as soon as we were seated in a secluded corner of the coffee shop. The place was really small and nearly empty, which gave us plenty of privacy. Probably because of my current emotional state, my boyfriend was smiling even more than usual. “There are three ways to do this.” He showed me three fingers, and at each ‘way’ he grabbed one of them by the tip and shook it until it looked like it was made of rubber. “One: because I’m older than you and I invited you here, I pay for everything. Two: you pay for everything because you’re nice. Three: we act like proper adults who have well-paying jobs and pay for our own stuff. Which one do you choose?”

I remembered the first time Fríða and I went out on a date, just a couple of days after she asked me out. Much like what Dmitri had done, she had waited until we were sitting down to unceremoniously tell me that she wouldn’t have any of that ‘romantic crap’ of me paying for everything. She argued that we were both teenagers who were financially dependent on our parents, and so we should be responsible for financing our own food consumption. I didn’t argue with her then, and saw no reason to be any different with Dmitri either.

“Number three,” I told him, and his smile brightened. He sent me a discreet kiss and got up to get his order. I waited for him to come back before going for mine. “What is this?” I asked him as I was leaving my chair. Dmitri had come back with a slice of rainbow cake and a pasty yellow drink with a slice of orange on top. It came in a very thin and tall glass, making it look posh and dangerous at the same time.

“One is the classical LGBT pride cake, and other is the house’s special, which means I have no idea.” He smiled again, like he saw nothing wrong with drinking a mysterious substance. In case I was starting to doubt his sanity, he added, “If I pass out during our conversation, please get a refund.” He winked. I laughed a bit, and headed to the counter to get my food.

I got the same cake as Dmitri, but ordered hot chocolate with marshmallows to drink. Dmitri had been waiting for me to start eating. We decided to finish the food first and talk later, so the cakes disappeared in just a few minutes. “Well, eating a rainbow never felt so good,” Dmitri noted. He hadn’t touched his drink yet.

“Yes, it was,” I agreed. We stared at each other for a while, trying to come up with a way to start the conversation that wouldn’t put us back in the sad mood from earlier. “Look, about our plan…” I started. I was the one who wanted to have this talk in the first place, so I should be the one to get it going.

Dmitri sighed. “You want to give it up?”

“I don’t think we’re helping Siggi. The more I try to get close to him, the more he shuts me away, and the more he hurts you and your friends. It’s not fair on any of us.” I knew Dmitri had obviously been hurt by what happened between him and Siggi in the music room, and before that I had witnessed plenty of occasions in which Siggi seemed to ignore or reject his friends’ efforts to make him feel better. I could tell that most of it was somehow linked to my presence in his life, so if the only thing I could do to make him feel better was to distance myself from him, then I would do it.

“He’s just being an arsehole because he’s sick. He’s not usually that bad.” Dmitri tried to defend his friend, but even as he brushed over Siggi’s behaviour, I could tell he was trying to reassure himself as much as me. “Wait a little bit more, until he’s completely recovered, and you’ll see.”

“Siggi hates me.”

“It’s not as personal as you think.” Dmitri tried to smile to reassure me, but it faded quickly. “He wants you to think that way, so that you’ll feel guilty and give up your place at the ISO. Sure, he wants you gone from his life now, but he would want anyone in your position to disappear.”

“Why?”

“You took Arnar’s place. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but Arnar has always been more than just the ISO’s leader to Siggi. He’s like…” Dmitri’s eyes lost focus, like he was remembering something about what he was going to tell me. “Never mind. The important thing here is that we don’t need to stop our plan. It’ll be good for Siggi to learn to accept you.”

“I don’t understand.” How could it be good for Siggi to be forced to spend time around someone he hated so much? Dmitri smiled again, this time more openly and with more conviction.

“Siggi has to learn that life goes on. He needs to get used to the idea that Arnar is not coming back to the ISO, and he needs to let all that hatred go. I know it sounds like we’re torturing him right now, but give it a little more time, and things should begin to change.”

“I don’t know…” Dmitri probably had a point about Siggi needing to learn a few things, but I wasn’t convinced it would be worth all the pain I was causing him.

“Please, Gunni? Let’s try just for a little longer. We can stay away from Siggi until he recovers, but once our Christmas break is over, we’ll see how things go. What do you think?” Dmitri stared at me with a confident smile. He took my hands in his, his eyes seemed to plead like some sort of cute baby animal, and so, against my best judgement, I ended up agreeing. Dmitri beamed and kissed my hand many times over.

“I propose a toast!” he said, raising the glass containing the mysterious drink. I followed his cue, even though my glass was already half-empty. “To Siggi! And to our good plan!”

“To Siggi!” I said, and we drank. I finished my hot chocolate and waited for Dmitri to gulp down his whole glass. When he was done, he banged the glass against the table, wiped his lips and beamed like he had just had an injection of happiness shot straight into his veins.

“Yes! Vanilla and vodka! I love it!”

Dmitri drank another three glasses of the thing, and I watched in increasing amusement as each new glass made him smile and joke more, until he started to laugh for no reason and the other customers asked him to shut up. We left the coffee shop soon afterwards, but my boyfriend wasn’t done with his fun.

“Kiss me now, and you won’t regret anything ever again!” he said, leaning against me. We were in front of one of the shop’s windows, trying to make our way to the main road to call Eiri. I wasn’t sure I wanted to kiss in such a public place, but Dmitri seemed so taken by the idea that I couldn’t refuse. I had barely begun to nod when he grabbed me by my waist and turned my body over, kissing me like I was the female romantic lead of a Hollywood movie. His lips tasted of vanilla and alcohol, and the more we kissed, the more his happiness contaminated me.

The first kiss was followed by many others, all in the same dramatic style. It felt so liberating to let my boyfriend grab me, taste his lips against mine, feel his hands holding me dangerously close to the ground. I forgot about my misgivings around Siggi, and pushed my feelings about being away from mum to the back of my mind. By the time we finally called Eiri to pick us up, the sky had darkened, the Christmas lights were on all around us, and everything seemed absolutely perfect.

That is, until Dmitri tried to kiss me again. This time, his hand slipped and my back felt the full hardness of the ground.