The Orchestra - Sinfónia Lifsins - 9. Debut

Thanks to Lisa for all the editing!
We now get to see Gunni's point of view on his first concert. This is not a warning, and you'll soon find out why. 
The only warning is that the chapter is almost twice as long as Gunni's other chapters.

I did not sleep much the night before my first concert. Even though Jó tried to make sure I was in bed considerably earlier than I needed to be, my mind kept examining all the possible outcomes for the next day instead of letting my normal dreams come. There were so many things that could happen, so many things that could go wrong, that I felt my entire body heat up as soon as the word ‘concert’ came to mind.

“How are you feeling, Gunni? Did you have a good night?” Jó asked when I came down for breakfast. He and Eiri were laying the festive napkins and fancy cutlery; they the last decorative details on the table. A giant bowl of fruit salad was already in place, as were a pile of toast, five flavours of jams, and three kinds of fruit juice.

“Wow, this is amazing!” I blurted out, so impressed with the banquet I didn’t realise my cousin-in-law had asked me a question. “You shouldn’t…”

“Today is a special day, Gunni!” Eiri said, coming to the kitchen door to give me a quick hug. “You need to eat well in order to give a good performance. Now, come join us!” My cousin put his arm around my shoulder and gently guided me to my seat.

“You should at least let me help…” I said, feeling a bit embarrassed that they were doing all this for me. It had been less than a week and this was the second great breakfast banquet they had organised for me.

“Not today, dear. Not today!” Jó beamed, motioning for Eiri to sit too. My cousin sat beside me and his partner chose the seat in front of me. “If you insist so much, I might let you help once you’ve been here for a month. For now though, just sit back, relax, and enjoy the food!”

“Thanks, Jó…” I felt my face heat up and looked down at my empty bowl and plate. Jó laughed and made me look up again.

“You’re most welcome. Now stop acting as if I’ve never prepared a super-breakfast before and eat up while it’s fresh!” I did as I was told, filling my bowl with fruit salad and grabbing some toast and jam. Jó tried to make me fill my bowl even more, but I was sure that eating even a single extra raspberry would cause a dangerous reaction between my full stomach and the excitement and anxiety of the concert, leading to consequences I was not prepared to deal with.

“So, you are nervous about tonight,” Eiri stated after I tried to explain to his boyfriend why I definitely could not get a second serving, even if the food was delicious. “I suppose it is a much bigger thing than your first rehearsal, right?”

“Yes. From what Gummi was telling us, they have already sold most of the tickets. I’ve never played in front of so many people before. What if I…”

“I’m glad we already got our tickets, then,” Eiri interrupted before I could finish talking about my insecurities. He probably did it on purpose. “You’ll be great; you’ve been rehearsing all of your waking moments, there is no way you can mess it up.”

“I guess… But I only had two days, and I’ve never played the pieces before. I didn’t even know the Piano Concerto…”

“So? You know it now.” I wanted to say something to that, but Eiri was right. I had learned the pieces since Tuesday; I had been practising at home before the full orchestra rehearsals; by now I should know what I was doing. Still, after breakfast was over and Eiri left for work, I returned to my room to practice more. The Piano Concerto by Isaac Anatolyevich Krylov was a particularly challenging piece; it was a modern work, but felt like something out of the romantic period. The composer himself would be performing the piece tonight, so I felt I had an extra obligation to play my part well.

(...)

Jó convinced me to not play too much after lunch. I told him I do not get tired so easily, but after playing for three hours in the morning, he just wanted me to relax. By three o’clock I was finding it difficult to think of things to do that did not involve my violin, so I started to get ready for the dress rehearsal. Jó helped me get dressed and insisted on polishing my shoes, fixing my bowtie and even making sure I didn’t have any lint or hair on my suit.

“I should be doing those things, you know,” I said while he worked on my shoes. He was doing a better job than I ever would, though.

“You will do those things, Gunni, but not on your big day,” he answered in the same tone he had used during breakfast. “I want to help you in any way I can to make sure today will be perfect. Your mum is not here after all, so it’s up to Eiri and I to take care of you.”

I wanted to tell him I was not so young that I needed to be taken care of, particularly after what Siggi said to me on Tuesday. If he thought I was a child, I had to find a way to prove him wrong. Yet, the only thing I managed to say was, “I wish mum could be here.”

“I know, Gunni, I know.” Jó hugged me tightly. “She’ll probably be listening, though. They’ll broadcast the concert live in all corners of the country…”

“I wonder if she will put the radio on maximum volume at the hospital. Don’t know if her patients will like it…” I smiled slightly imagining a group of people in hospital gowns shouting at mum for her to turn the volume down.

“You are not playing anything too loud, are you?” Jó asked. He was smiling too, probably imagining the same things I was.

“There is the Can-Can, and some parts of Romeo and Juliet can get quite loud. The theme for the night is ‘True Love’, though, so it will be mostly calm, romantic, and sad music.” The concert would open with the Overture to Offenbach’s Orpheus in the Underworld, which was based on the myth of a man who was so in love with his wife, when she died he went after her in the land of the dead and almost got her back, but failed at the last minute. The Piano Concerto was written for the composer’s wife as a sort of love serenade for their wedding. The last piece of the night would be a selection of eight parts from Prokofiev’s ballet, Romeo and Juliet, one of the most famous romantic stories of all.

So far, even though the concert would be about love, I had managed to keep my thoughts about Siggi quietly buried in the back of my mind. It helped that he only spoke to me when absolutely necessary, and avoided even looking at me during rehearsals, which was quite a feat considering we were facing each other most of the time. Everyone else was really good to me, though.

“I think all her patients will be just as excited and proud as her.” Jó beamed, handing me my suit. I was almost ready to leave. “Every radio program has been talking about you every half an hour or so. I don’t think I’ve ever heard them advertise a concert so much.”

Jó’s statement did not help me feel much better. Actually, it mostly contributed to making me even more nervous. There was some excitement in knowing that not only would I be playing for a full house, but for many more people across the country. What if I screwed up really badly and disappointed everyone? People were expecting me to be perfect and to prove why I had been chosen to be the ISO’s leader. I had to show them everything I had.

(...)

Jó drove me to the Harpa. Thanks to me starting to prepare really early and to accident-free roads, I arrived fifteen minutes earlier than I needed to. Everyone greeted me warmly, and I finally had a chance to talk properly to our soloist. I greeted him before the dress rehearsal started. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” Most of the musicians had already arrived, including Siggi and his friends. “I’m Gunni, and I’m...”

“Oh, I know who you are,” the soloist answered, smiling brightly. My cheeks immediately heated up when I realised that even this international celebrity had heard of me. Isaac noticed it and his smile widened. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

“No, it’s fine… I…” I tried to apologise. As the ISO’s leader, I probably had a responsibility to keep our soloist happy. I couldn’t risk upsetting him the first time we spoke.

“You seem like a nice guy. In most orchestras I’ve played with, there are plenty of people who would be a lot more conceited if they were in your position,” Isaac said, still smiling. “The first violins tend to be particularly competitive. My wife is the leader of the Trans Siberian orchestra, so I should know…”

“Your wife plays violin? The one you composed the Piano Concerto for?” I asked, impressed.

“Yes, we’re a very musical family. When my son got old enough to start learning an instrument, he couldn’t choose between his mum’s or his dad’s, so he went for both.” Isaac’s smile shone with pride. “I’ve never seen a kid so in-tuned to music before. He plays all day everyday and enjoys it so much!”

“I think I can relate…” I told him, blushing a little as I realised that I had spent most of my childhood practising violin in my room instead of playing outside with other kids. Back then I hadn’t felt the need to do anything else, but now I realised how weird it must have seemed to other people.

“Yes, prodigies are like that. My son is actually here with me today; we’ll do a little number for the encore.” Isaac winked, making me smile. He was a tall, blond man most likely in his mid-thirties. With the right facial expression he could look downright scary and intimidating, but he seemed to be a gentle, caring person. We hadn’t exchanged more than a few words, but I felt safe and comfortable around him, much like the way I felt around my cousins. “I don’t know where he is now though, he’s probably hiding somewhere.”

“Is he nervous?” I asked, feeling sorry for the boy. He was probably under a lot of pressure if he was about to play with his father.

“No, he’s just being a shy nine-year-old.” Isaac answered, smiling proudly again. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll go look for him before the concert starts. We’ll be around until the end, though, so we can talk more later. I bet my son is dying to meet you.”

“Yes, me too.” I was curious to see what Isaac’s son would be like. So far he sounded like my younger self with added piano skills. I watched Isaac leave the room and thought I caught a glimpse of a little blond head hiding behind the door.

(...)

The dress rehearsal went very well. Isaac was a wonderful pianist; I could feel his love for the music and for his wife all through his performance. He played just a few key parts of the concerto, but every note struck was like a tiny piece of his heart exposed, so that by the end we were all surrounded by a thick aura of love. Hopefully, even Siggi had been affected. Once he was done, Isaac left to look for his son again, and the dress rehearsal carried on as normal.

With Isaac not around, I spent our hour-long break with some of the other musicians. I was getting a bit anxious now that my first real concert was so close, but everyone was doing their best to help me feel better. Santa told me all sorts of stories about some of the incredible things he had seen at concerts; like the time a woman almost gave birth in the audience while they played Beethoven’s Third Symphony. Other musicians joined Santa to talk about their favourite past concerts, enthusiastic audiences, CD recordings, and international tours they had participated in. I felt a lot better by the time we were gathering in the waiting room for one last pep talk by Gummi.

“Don’t worry, Gunni, we don’t usually do those things,” our musical director said, indicating the large crowd of musicians just outside the stage doors. “But we thought that, since today is such a special day, we ought to say a couple of words before we go in.”

Someone snorted at the far back. A female voice whispered, ‘Siggi, stop it’, and the sound of something soft hitting hard concrete was heard. Then came Dmitri’s voice.

“Siggi is alright. Karen just made him kick the wall.” Some of the people around me chuckled, though Santa sent a mildly disapproving glance towards Dmitri’s general direction. Gummi carried on as if nothing had happened.

“In the name of the ISO, I want to say that we hope you have a great time today, Gunni, and that the ISO from here on can become a kind of second home to you, like it already is for us.”

“Thank you, Gummi, I…” I tried my best to say something, to return their generosity and show that I shared their feeling, but any words died in my throat, choked by the spreading heat that took over my face.

“You don’t need to say anything, Gunni, just play like you’ve been playing the whole week and all will be well,” Gummi said, probably understanding my embarrassment. The doors opened in front of me and everyone but Gummi and I took their places on the stage. “Good luck, Gunni,” he said when he thought everyone was ready. “You can go in now. Enjoy every moment!”

“Yes, I will.” I took a deep breath and stepped onto the stage. I had barely walked three steps when the loudest ovation I had ever heard erupted from seemingly nowhere and everywhere at once. I looked at the audience and saw many people standing up, others whistling or tapping their feet on the ground, and many more waving at me. I used all my self-control not to look down in embarrassment and to keep a steady pace as I walked to my seat. I almost tripped over some of the other first violins, but they seemed to avoid me just in time, like they were expecting me to do such a thing.

“Full house tonight. They seem really enthusiastic,” Santa whispered close to my ear when I finally sat down after Dmitri and I had coordinated everyone’s tuning. It was hard to hear him, even though he was speaking in a normal volume. “Let’s make them happy, shall we?”

Gummi came in soon afterwards, under another shower of applause. He waited patiently until the clapping started to fade to say a couple of words to the audience. “Welcome, everyone, to tonight’s concert, themed True Love. It is an honour to be your conductor tonight when we have two great stars with us. Isaac Anatolyevich Krylov is joining us once again to play his most famous composition. I am sure you will give him a very warm welcome when the time is right. If you like his performance he has a special bonus in store for you. Also joining us today is the ISO’s new leader, the young prodigy Gunni Helsson. Very well, ladies and gentleman, it’s time to enjoy the concert!”

Gummi’s speech received some polite applause. My heart raced in my chest as our conductor slowly turned to us, raising his baton to indicate we should prepare. Those last few seconds of silence took an eternity to pass, but then the world exploded in sound and movement. We played through Orpheus in the Underworld with lots of energy, particularly at the end with the Can-Can. I had a short solo part in the middle of the piece, but nothing special. When the audience broke into enthusiastic cheering at the end it was like I had awoken from some kind of trance. I had barely returned to the real world when I saw that Gummi was pointing to me, telling me to stand up. The clapping was so loud and so overwhelming, I felt like an ant surrounded by stomping elephants.

“That was great, Gunni. The public seems to really like you,” Santa told me while we waited for the stagehands to put Isaac’s piano in position.

“It was just a short piece; there wasn’t anything special about it,” I answered, feeling once again embarrassed now that the ovation was over. “I hope they will still be this happy by the end.”

“I don’t doubt it. You have them hooked already.” Santa winked. I was still trying to come up with an acceptable answer when I heard cheers erupting from the audience and noticed Isaac was coming up to the stage. I was glad to see that our audience was indeed giving him the warmest of welcomes. When they were finally silent, Isaac asked to speak.

“Komdu Sæll. I am sorry I cannot say much more in your language, but I hope you can still understand my English. I would like to say it is a great pleasure to play with the ISO again. This is one of my favourite orchestras. I feel at home here, and not because Iceland seems such a warm place compared to Siberia!” We laughed along with the audience. “The piece I will play tonight means a lot to me, as you can probably guess. I’m only sorry that my wife has her own work commitments tonight and won’t be able to listen to this particular performance. But on a brighter note, I brought someone else with me who is very enthusiastic about meeting you all. Please be gentle with him when the time comes. Þakka þér kærlega fyrir! ”

The audience applauded enthusiastically. I wondered how many knew exactly whom he had brought along. My heart filled with anticipation not only because I was going to perform a piece with its composer, but because a very young boy would soon join us on this very stage. When I was nine years old I would never have had the courage to perform for so many people. Even if the boy had been hiding for the last couple of hours and seemed just as shy as me, he was already braver than I had been.

Isaac’s music filled the concert hall as his hands gracefully played their part, touching the keys so lightly it was as if they were just hovering above the piano. When the orchestra came in, however, the mood changed to something more intense and awe-inspiring. His love for his family poured from the melody, reaching me and probably everyone on the stage and beyond. It was as if he put the whole room under a powerful spell, and once it was broken at the end of the piece it took us a while to realise what had happened, and for the audience to show their appreciation.

Isaac received a standing ovation. Once the public was satisfied, he took over Gummi’s podium to speak with them again. “Þakka! Þakka! I’m glad you enjoyed the performance! And as a thank you I would like to play for you one of Mozart’s piano work for four hands, performed by my son, Isaac Isaakovich, and I. He’s only nine years old, so be kind to him.”

The father motioned for his son to join him. Little Isaac’s first steps onto the stage were a bit reluctant, but once he was spotted by the audience and applauded enthusiastically, he skipped the rest of the way to the piano. There were many murmurs of ‘cute’ among the musicians close to me, and undoubtedly among the audience too. Father and son looked very similar, not only in appearance, but also in the way they sat at the piano with their hands just above the keys. I couldn’t see their faces from where I sat, but I had a feeling their expressions of concentration were identical too.

Once the music started, I was not the only one impressed by Little Isaac’s skills. The boy had no trouble keeping up with his father. They played in perfect synchrony; neither of them needing music sheets. With my eyes closed it became impossible to tell which part was being played by whom. Once it was over, the two Isaacs bowed to a delighted audience, and Little Isaac’s face turned the same shade of red that I have frequently gotten on my own face over the past week.

(...)

“Oh man, you are too good! And your son is fantastic!” Dmitri was the first to reach the Isaacs as we retreated backstage. He hugged Little Isaac tightly, whispering something in his ear that made him blush even more. The adults spoke only in Russian after that, at least until Dmitri disappeared towards the table with the drinks. After that, father and son decided to approach me.

“You are really good. It was a very moving performance,” I said, looking at both, even though Little Isaac probably wouldn’t understand me.

“Thank you, Gunni. You are very good too.” Isaac smiled back. His son was looking at me with big, pleading eyes, and I had an idea of what he wanted even before his father spoke. “Listen, Gunni, if it is not much to ask, could my son play violin with you for a bit? He was very impressed by you today. He wanted to ask you himself, but his English is not very good and he is still feeling a bit overwhelmed by so much applause…”

“Oh, I would be honoured!” I answered, crouching so that I could see Little Isaac eye to eye and give him my brightest smile. Even if he couldn’t understand my words, I hoped he would be able to see my enthusiasm.

“Thank you! Thank you!” Little Isaac squealed. I barely had time to register his reaction before he took off in the opposite direction. Less than a minute later he was back, carrying his own violin like it was a treasure made of gold.

“Isaac has just learned to play Spring from Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. I don’t know if he wants to play it or…” As his father spoke, Little Isaac began to play the first movement of Spring. I had never studied the piece properly, but I knew the melody well enough to be able to play some improvised harmonies. Once again Little Isaac impressed everyone in the room, nailing all the cadenzas and fast notes with the kind of skill that shouldn’t come from such tiny hands, particularly when those tiny hands were equally skilled on the piano.

(...)

Soon afterwards, I was wandering around the back room when I saw Dmitri approach, carrying an opened vodka bottle that thankfully was almost full. I could only hope he would still be able to play if he drank too much.

“Hey Gunni, how are things?” he asked me, sounding perfectly sober. The only thing hinting that he might have been drunker than his appearance suggested, was the fact that I could smell the alcohol on his breath even though he was two meters (six feet) away from me. “The Isaacs are great, aren’t they?”

“Ah, yes, they are…”

“Yeah, yeah. Shame one is straight and the other is barely out of diapers,” Dmitri interrupted. Before I knew it, he was standing right next to me. “He could at least have the decency of being bisexual. Meh.” He made a comic face of disappointment and took a sip from his bottle.

“Hum…” I wasn’t sure what to say to that. Dmitri was creeping me out a bit, though it was mostly because I feared he was probably already drunk, even though we still had half a concert to get through.

“But anyway, enjoying your first concert?” He turned to face me with his whole body. The alcohol on his breath was really strong, but surprisingly nothing else on him seemed to suggest he had been drinking anything more than water.

“Yes, yes, I’m having a great time.” I was amazed at Little’s Isaac’s skills more than anything else.

“Cool. You know you are cute, right?” he asked suddenly, like one would talk about puppies. I felt my face heat up before I could even process what he was saying. “Aww, you do. You’re making a cute face right now.” The heat from my face spread through my whole body. “You have a boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend? No, no, I…” My legs were turning into jelly, melted by the heat circulating through every corner of my being. Dmitri probably noticed I was losing my balance, because soon one of his hands was on my hip and the other on my shoulder.

“Aww, such a waste. Someone like you should never be single!” Dmitri’s hand that was on my hip tightened its grip, making my body jerk forward. “Is it because you are too shy to ask people out or because the people you like are too stupid to notice how awesome you are?”

My mouth opened and closed, but no sound came from it. In a way, I was kind of glad Dmitri had been holding me, because the sudden attention made me blush so much I felt slightly lightheaded. I lost my balance a bit and fell straight into his arms.

“I’m sorry, I…”

“No need to be sorry, Gunni. I like it when hot guys jump on me the moment I hit on them. You can say I have that kind of power over people…” Dmitri said, lowering his voice to a more serious tone. “Should I take you to a quieter place so you can recover properly before we have to step on the stage again? I know the perfect place.”

A small part of my brain screamed that going with Dmitri would be a bad idea. It screamed even louder when Dmitri’s hand accidentally slid from my hip to a slightly lower area, but the part of my brain that controlled my legs did not hear it. I let Dmitri take me to the instrument’s room, which was close to the backdoor of the stage. At that moment the room was dark and empty. He turned the lights on and we stood next to the wall, near an empty table.

“Once you feel better, I want to tell you something.”

“What is it?” I asked, wondering what he could say that needed such preparation.

“Calm down first. As much as I like you falling in my arms, I don’t want to risk you fainting or anything,” he said, putting a stabilising hand over my shoulder.

“Ok, then…” I took a deep breath and tried to clear my head a bit. “What is it?”

“Look, I’ll be blunt because that’s how I do things. You are more than welcome to say ‘no’ at any point and you are more than welcome to punch me in the face if it comes to it. I can also assure you that I’m not drunk even if I smell like a sterilised room. I have more than ten years of constant vodka consumption to prove my point. Anyway…” Dmitri approached me, lowering his body so that our eyes were at the same level. “I find you really cute. In a sexual way. Don’t ask how it works. It just does. I find you cute and I want to kiss you right now. Are you up for it?”

“Ah…” I took in Dmitri’s words slowly, trying to make sense of them. In the end I gave up, ignoring everything but the last part. Why would he want to kiss me? “That was… unexpected…” I blurted out, trying not to be too rude.

“Ah, yeah, I suppose. Sorry for that. Is that a ‘no’, then?” He smiled apologetically. He looked quite cute that way.

“No, no, I didn’t say that…”

“Well, if it isn’t a ‘no’, then it’s a ‘yes’!”

The first thing I felt was the strong pressure of his lips against mine. The second was my back colliding against the wall behind me and Dmitri’s body closing in against my chest. I wasn’t expecting any of that; my first instinct was to try to pull away, and Dmitri realised it almost immediately.

“Sorry, too soon?” he asked, looking a bit concerned. He was holding me by my upper arms, tightly enough to prevent me from falling against him, but still loosely enough not to hurt me. “I got a little enthusiastic, sorry. You’re far too cute.”

“Ah… thanks, I guess…” I felt an all-too-familiar blush spreading over my face again. Dmitri was still looking straight into my eyes, smiling gently as he waited for me to say something else. “I’m sorry, I got a bit scared and…”

“I understand. I’ll try to warn you next time.” Dmitri beamed, his smile turning into a charming grin. “That is, if you’re still up for a next time.”

I thought about his proposal. Dmitri’s hand felt warm against my arms and he didn’t seem like he would force me to do anything. I felt slightly uncomfortable with the alcoholic stench coming from him, though I was increasingly sure he was telling the true when he said he wasn’t really drunk. He was still grinning, waiting patiently as if we had all the time in the world. He was being so nice to me I didn’t want to disappoint him.

“I don’t know, I…” I was hoping the right words would come when I needed them. “It’s the first time someone said this kind of thing to me. I’m a little surprised and… well…”

“Overwhelmed?” Dmitri asked, finishing my thoughts better than I could. “Yeah, I thought this would happen. That’s why I asked you to clear your head so you could think about it.” One of his hands touched my cheek gently. His hand was really warm; it was a very pleasant feeling. Without realising it I let my face rest against it. “Look, don’t feel too bad about it. I said you could say ‘no’ at any time, so…”

“I’m not sure I want to…” I admitted. Dmitri’s touch felt so nice, it was making me feel more comfortable and safe around him. “I’m confused, I guess. You seem really nice and…” He touched my cheek again, sending a kind of electric impulse through my spine that I had seen described in romance novels many times before, but had never felt in my own body. A surprised moan left my mouth before I was fully conscious of its existence.

“Well, at least you don’t seem to be having a bad time.” Dmitri got closer to me again, his hand now touching my jaw. “Can I at least have a hug, then? While you make up your mind…?”

“Sure, I guess…” Dmitri’s hand definitely felt good. It was so warm it made my body tingle. I had never experienced this kind of thing before, and so far it didn’t seem at all bad.

“Ok, here I go.” He gave me plenty of warning this time. I felt a little bit disappointed as his hand left my face so that he could spread his arms like a giant but cute, and absolutely non-threatening blond bear. He smiled warmly and looked at me as if waiting for my confirmation that he could move forward. I nodded and he finally approached, enclosing me in his arms. His body was just as warm as his hands; I felt a bit bad for not realising this when we were kissing before. It felt good to be embraced like that; it was a kind of comfort that was different from the kind I felt when I hugged mum, Eiri, or Jó. It was incredibly nice, actually. I hugged him back and felt a strange desire to stay close to him. It was like Dmitri was truly beginning to awaken a part of me that had been dormant since the day Fríða showed me gay porn to prove her point about my sexual orientation. I wasn’t sure if what I was feeling at that moment was some kind of attraction to the oboist or if I just needed some kind of close physical presence on this special day, no matter who was there to give it to me. Regardless of what my feelings were, though, at that moment I was sure I wanted to get closer to him, feel even more of that comfort and warmth that seemed to irradiate from him.

“You know… about the kiss… I…”

“Having second thoughts?” Dmitri finished my thoughts again. We were still hugging; my head was lying against his chest and his mouth rested close to my forehead. “If that’s what you want, then…”

“I’m not really sure,” I confessed. He was being so nice to me so it was only fair that I told him the truth. “But I feel like trying it out to see what it’s like.”

“Don’t tell me you have never been kissed before?” He broke the hug so he could look at me. He had a surprised expression on his face. I nodded shyly, feeling suddenly very self-conscious. Fríða and I had kissed a couple of times, but we were fourteen then, it wasn’t anything like what he had done earlier. “Wow, what an honour! So I get to be your first, then? Cool.” Dmitri hugged me again, squishing me around the shoulders to show his enthusiasm. “Whenever you are ready, then…”

Dmitri realised me. He was grinning again, his arms opened to show his readiness. I took a deep breath, feeling a blush creeping through my cheeks and spreading everywhere. My face, my hands, and my lower abdomen tingled in an agonising but surprisingly good way. I tried to say something, anything, but my mouth was dry and my vocal chords seemed to have gone on strike. Feeling the tingling sensation spread all the way to my toes, I nodded to him, trying to look more confident than I really felt.

“In three, then,” he said, again giving plenty of warning. “One.” He stepped forward, standing just a few centimetres away from me. “Two.” One of his hands grabbed my hip, and the other went up to my neck. “Three.” Our lips met.

It was much better than our first attempt at a kiss. Everything his lips and his tongue did in my mouth sent fireworks through the rest of my body. As the kiss deepened, his hands moved away; one found my hair and the other travelled to my butt. I may have moaned when he did that, though it was impossible to tell with so many things going on at the same time. I was living through sensory overload, trying to cope with all those stimuli while still being able to stand up. I had to grab the wall for support again.

“Stop it now, Dmitri. It’s not cool to hit on little children.” I heard a sharp, cold voice say from somewhere close to us. To my horror, I realised Siggi, of all people, had found us. Dmitri immediately broke the kiss, but didn’t turn towards him. I followed his lead, more anxious and terrified than I had been for the entire day.

“Gunni’s almost seventeen, this is perfectly legal,” Dmitri said nonchalantly. He winked at me for reassurance, but my body was already frozen on the spot. “And quite hot, if I might add…”

“No, you can’t. Get away from him and let’s go back. The second half is about to start,” Siggi demanded, sounding so pissed off and angry I wished the ground under me would part in two so I could disappear forever. “Well done in breaking our replacement, by the way. Hopefully this means we’ll get a better one soon,” he added, probably looking at me. I felt I should tell him it wasn’t anything like that, but there was no way I could convince my vocal chords to go back to work now.

“You are so mean.” The Russian grinned, feigning his guilt. “But fine, let’s go. There’s a whole Romeo and Juliet to get through…” He gently tugged my hip, indicating we should move. I tried to do so, but my feet weren’t able to walk more than two steps forward before they gave in again. Dmitri saved me again by grabbing my hips and supporting me the rest of the way. After a while, I realised his hand had wandered a bit lower than was probably socially acceptable, but I had more important things to worry about, like getting to the stage and playing through the second half without freaking out.

(...)

Dmitri followed me to my seat, though he took his hands away from my body the moment we stepped onto the stage. He wished me good luck, winked, and dashed off to his place. Santa watched our interaction with raised eyebrows. The moment Dmitri became out of earshot he turned to me.

“So, you are friends with Dmitri now?” he asked joyfully. “Careful with that man; he might bite you when you least expect it, but he’s not a bad guy.”

“Thanks, I guess…” I answered, not entirely sure what he meant by ‘bite’. “He does seem like a good person.”

“Yes, we all are, Gunni. Deep down, even Siggi is not that bad.” Santa’s eyes sparkled with the kind of wisdom that seemed exclusive of people with gray hair and long beards. Before I could say anything about it, Gummi entered the stage and I turned my attention to the score in front of me.

I played through the whole of Romeo and Juliet without stopping to think about Dmitri, Siggi, or the Isaacs. The moment I rested my violin on my shoulder all those things disappeared from my mind and my only focus became the music. We played eight selected pieces from Prokofief’s ballet, including the dramatic Tybald’s Death and the light-hearted Mask, a musical description of a masked ball. When it was finally over, the audience stood up again, just as cheerful and pleased as they had been during the first half. Gummi indicated I should stand up again, and at that moment a deafening roar emerged from somewhere in the middle of the audience. Following concert protocol, Gummi left the stage and returned three times. Usually the audience would stop clapping by then, but tonight they showed no sign of wanting to stop. Gummi made me stand up again and called the Isaacs back to the stage.

“Ladies and gentleman, thank you very much for your support!” he shouted to the audience. Soon afterwards, a stagehand came in with a microphone for the rest of his speech. “We are humbled by your overwhelming enthusiasm tonight. Thank you for being such a great audience. You have been so wonderful in fact, that you deserve a special ‘thank you’ gift.” Gummi turned to the three of us. “You have already seen how great our little Isaac Isaakovich is on the piano, but I bet not many of you have seen the amazing things he can do with a violin. During the break, our young prodigies were giving us a private show backstage. I wonder if they feel like repeating their performance for our supporters?”

Isaac explained to his son what Gummi had just suggested and the child’s face immediately lit up. “I don’t think he would mind,” the father answered. Little Isaac nodded enthusiastically and looked at me with the same pleading eyes he used backstage. There was no way I could refuse it.

“No, I don’t mind either,” I said, to the general delight of the people in the hall. A stagehand appeared on stage to give Isaac his violin, and we took our positions at the centre of the stage. We nodded to each other and played Spring again. I stopped playing when Little Isaac reached the trickiest bits to make sure the audience could hear his amazing skills. He didn’t get a single note wrong.

“You two are incredible, you should keep in touch and play together more often,” Gummi told us. Isaac nodded and translated it to his son, who answered by showing his widest smile. The audience was once again showing their appreciation for our performance; we stood there for seemingly hours surrounded by applause and praise. Even the rest of the ISO got up, including Siggi, though probably because it would look bad if he was the only one who was still sitting. He avoided looking at me, focusing his stare on Little Isaac.

“Yes, we definitely should. I will make sure to bring Isaac along next time I play here again,” Isaac agreed, shaking my hand animatedly. His son’s smile didn’t fade at all.

“I’m looking forward to it.” I smiled and offered my hand for little Isaac to shake. Maybe in the not-so-distant future he could be playing with us, not as his father’s special encore, but as a soloist in his own right.

At the after-concert party I got Isaac’s e-mail address and a couple of pictures of me and his son hugging, smiling, and even playing together. The language barrier between Little Isaac and I crumbled quickly once we got to spend some time together; he turned out to be a very gentle and sensitive boy.

Eiri, Jó, and Aunt Margrét came looking for me after a while; they seemed a little bit concerned that I was taking so long to find them, but as soon as they saw Little Isaac they understood what had happened. We went home soon after that, Aunt Margrét said goodbye to us at Eiri’s front door, telling me I had played like her father. I had to look at Eiri to decide if it was a good or a bad thing, but judging by his proud smile it was probably the first option.

“You impressed her,” Eiríkur told me as we entered the living room. “Particularly in that extra bit at the end.”

“True! You guys were really great” Jó completed, making some overdramatic gestures that made him look far more comical than he probably should have. “Your aunt liked it so much she couldn’t even bring herself to be rude to me!”

“Oh, that’s…” The word I was looking for disappeared down my throat. I didn’t like to be reminded of the awful life of secrets my cousins led, particularly after a night like this one.

“Ah, well, it just means she’ll have to go to your concerts more often,” Jó carried on, still doing his comically dramatic gestures. “You think we can drag her by force every week?” he asked his boyfriend, leaning against his body. Watching the two of them I was suddenly reminded of what Dmitri and I had done during the break and my heart skipped a beat. I remembered the warm feeling around my body as his lips closed in, and as his hands enclosed me in a comforting embrace. Looking at how happy my cousins seemed when they were so close together, I felt like I wanted this kind of thing too; that I wanted someone to embrace me like Dmitri had done over and over again. It probably wouldn’t have been such a bad thing to have these kinds of thoughts, if they were just that. If I had pictured Dmitri and I doing what my cousins were doing, it would’ve been ok, would’ve been understandable. We had done it once before, after all.

But the one I saw hugging me tightly and holding my face and kissing me full on the lips and grabbing my hair and my butt was not Dmitri. It was Siggi.

“I’m feeling really tired; I think I’ll go to bed now,” I told my cousins as soon as I realised what I was thinking. I grabbed my violin case with shaky hands and almost ran to my room, not doing so only because that would make my cousins suspicious.

Sleep didn’t come easily that night. I was physically and mentally exhausted from the long night, but I kept thinking about Dmitri and Siggi and how messed up this whole situation was. Why did I have to want Siggi of all people? Why couldn’t I be happy that Dmitri seemed to like me? Why did I think I was somehow betraying Dmitri by having those kinds of though about Siggi? It had been my first real kiss. It was great at the time. Why did I have to mess it up so soon?

Thanks for reading! Constructive criticism is always appreciated. 
If you want to know more about the Isaacs, I will start posting their original story soon. Do't worry, this is not the last we have heard of them. 
Also, if you avoided reading certain parts of the last chapter, now that you know what was really happening it might be worth going back to read those parts again.