Awaken - 16. Comfort

Running. I was running. My feet slapped the dirt road underneath me as I threw myself around a corner at the last minute. I could hear shouting, jeers and insults. I didn't know what would happen if they caught me. It was different today. In addition to the normal bullying, there was a dangerous glint in their eyes. The preteens had evolved into something more predatory and I wasn't ready to find out what that could mean for me. My legs burned and I came to a street that split in three directions. I looked around frantically, trying to make a decision as I heard the voices creeping ever closer. I darted to my left, wincing as I rolled my ankle. I gripped the wall nearest me and let out a gasp as the pain set in. I limped down the alley, my dread climaxing in absolute despair as I realized it was a dead end. My head whipped around, trying to find another exit, but it was no use. I heard footsteps behind me and realized I was trapped. I turned slowly to the four boys who'd been chasing me. They now stood grinning at me as they closed in. There weren't words exchanged. One of them, an all too familiar blond, egged the other on, shoving his shoulder playfully. Like this was something fun, like they were enjoying themselves. I was too busy staring at those two that I didn't notice another boy, a little taller than me, until he shoved me into the wall. Unprepared, my head cracked against the brick behind me. I crumpled to the ground, my hands barely moving fast enough to stop from hitting my face. They were on me then, kicking my sides and hitting me. I was flipped onto my back as a foot connected with my cheek. I tasted blood and could barely see. They were moving in again and a foot raised above my head. I tried to shield myself as I watched it come down through the gaps in my fingers.

I jerked up in bed with a cry, my heart pounding in my chest. For the first time in days, it seemed like Talon's control had slipped. I ran my fingers over my face and body. I knew it hadn't happened to me but it had felt so real. The feel of my ribs being kicked in made me almost breathless. Once the fear and imagined pain had subsided, I caught my breath as I forced my tears down. How had Talon ever managed to get through everything he'd been through? I threw off my covers and shimmied off of my bed. When my feet hit the ground, I started second guessing myself. I wasn't sure how what I planned to do would be received. I forced myself to stand and pad to my door. I opened it and peeked into the hallway. It was dimly lit and silent, everyone in their beds. I slid from my room, closing the door as soundlessly as I could. As I made my way down the hallway I could feel my nerves building. I hesitated as I came to Talon's door. I took a deep breath and tried not to knock too loud.

After a minute the door opened, Talon's arm wiping across his face. I tried not to notice the black sleeping pants that sat dangerously low on his hips, the 'v' created by them partially on display. Dark hair trailed down his lower stomach and I jerked my eyes away as they followed the trail farther down. His tattoos stretched across his skin and I got the sudden urge to trace them with my mouth. When my eyes finally returned to his face, he was staring at me, eyebrow raised. He was missing his normal grin or smirk. All of the mirth and playfulness gone. His expression was raw, the pain out in the open for once. I watched him slowly school his features into neutrality and I stepped closer.

“Don't do that.”

“Do what?” He didn't step away and I leaned against him, looking up into his face and trying not to focus on his still wet cheeks.

“Hide from me.”

“I'm standing right here.”

“That's not what I mean and you know it. I didn't pry this time. You let your guard down and I saw...”

He shook his head and quickly wiped his hand over his face. He made to step back and I wrapped my arms around his waist, not willing to give up just yet.

I braced myself while I waited for him to tell me to leave, to pull away. He didn't. I felt arms suddenly wrap around me and he crushed me to his chest. Blinking I held my arms around his waist tighter, my cheek against his chest. He took a deep, uneven breath and rested his face in my neck. Rubbing my hands up his back, we stood there for a long minute.

He cleared his throat and finally separated himself from me, his hand running over the back of his head, “well good morning. Did you want to come in?” His smile was shy, unsure, and I tried to wrap my mind around this Talon. I wasn't used to any amount of vulnerability from him. At least I knew now that under all of his walls and defense mechanisms, he wasn't always a totally confident, self-assured person. That comforted me for some reason. I looked past him into the room and saw it was similar to mine. The only differences were that the walls were a light brown and the bedding was in different colors. The bed was in creams, chocolate, and a sand color.

“Okay.” I tried to swallow my apprehension as we left the hallway and he closed the door behind me. Talon walked straight to his bed. The blankets were in chaos, some thrown on the ground, the sheets hanging off the bed, dangerously close to the edge. There were even pillows thrown to every corner of the mattress. Talon sat on the side, resting his face in his hands for a moment. I couldn't help but smile at his messy hair, his eyes still a little bleary from being awoken so suddenly. Sometimes I forgot how young he really was. At only 25, he’d always seemed older than he actually was. His seating area had cream colored couches and vials, jars, and books littered the nearby metal coffee table's surface.

“Do you have dreams like that a lot?” I walked across the room, sitting next to him on the bed. My leg rested against his and I tried to stare straight ahead instead of roaming my eyes over his bare torso.

“It's not so bad. Generally it's just every time I sleep.”

“Really?” I glanced sideways at him, his normal sarcasm hadn't returned so his voice felt like a resounding wave of sadness echoing through my chest.

“Yes,” He laid back on the bed, his eyes slipping closed as he rested his long fingers on his stomach. I tried to focus on the sad tone of our conversation even though my eyes darted to the tattoo stretching over his hip and rib cage.

“Can I help at all? Is there something I can do to make it better?”

He moved faster than I could react and I found myself underneath him. My arms were held above my head, his fingers gripping my wrists lightly, “What exactly are you offering Kalian?”

His voice had deepened, his gaze on my face intense as I looked up at him, startled. My name on his lips sent a shiver through my whole body and my hips lifted involuntarily. His knee nudged my legs apart and I squirmed against the sheets.

“I-is this actually what you want? I don't think it is Talon.” He looked down at me and I twisted my arms from his grip. Shifting above me, he let my wrists go and I felt him rest his hands on either side of my head, sighing heavily.

“I have no idea. I feel like shit and my head is starting to hurt.” I pushed myself up and nuzzled his neck, pulling him back into my arms. He was stiff at first, resisting. Then he slowly began to relax against me. We rearranged so we were laying on the bed, my arms around his neck, playing with his hair. We lay there for a long time in silence, me terrified to ruin this moment. It was rare that I was the person who was being leaned on for support. I was the strong one for a few minutes here and I was hesitant to give it up.

“Who taught you how to use your power Talon?” He shifted and played his fingers over my stomach, moving my loose tunic so he could touch bare skin. I bit my lip but tried my best not to react. I knew what he was doing. He was trying to distract me from my question. His grey eyes met mine and he seemed disappointed that I wasn't giving in. Instead of answering my question, he maneuvered himself farther down the bed. I let my eyes roll up to the ceiling as he held my hips, kissing softly over my stomach after pushing my tunic up even higher. When I didn't immediately fall apart he upped his efforts. I held back a gasp as his tongue circled my belly button. I let out a soft noise and his fingers slid up my torso. My tunic was pushed up under my arms. He kissed up the center of my chest and I felt him again move over me. His thumbs rubbed gently over my nipples as his mouth reached my sternum. I was rapidly losing my already weak control.

“S-stop.” I looked down at him pleadingly and he didn't answer. He kissed to one side of my chest, keeping his eyes on mine as he flicked his tongue against my hard nipple. He pushed himself even farther up and closed his mouth around the nub, sucking softly. My fingers tangled in his hair as my hips lifted. He settled between my legs as he removed his mouth and left a trail of kisses to the other side of my chest before giving that nipple the same treatment. I felt like my head was going to explode. His hips fit against mine as if he belonged between them. He rolled his hips slowly and I arched up against him, feeling his hard length pressed against me. My mind fixated on how big he felt. He was certainly bigger than me. I could feel that through his thin pants. This wasn't what I came here for. I wanted to come to his room to comfort him. This almost felt like taking advantage of him when he was at his weakest. I tried to clear the fog of lust from my mind as he sucked softly on my neck, his canines lightly grazing my skin.

“T-Talon...please.”

His hips ground against mine and he sucked a bit harder on my neck before he decided to meet my eyes again, “What baby?” I shuddered and closed my eyes. That was a new one for sure.

“This feels wrong. You're hurting. I want to make it better.”

“Mm perfect. Then spread your legs beautiful, or put them over my shoulders. Really up to you at this point.” Heat raced over my cheeks and I cupped his face gently. He went in for the kiss, but I rested my forehead against his. I ran my fingers through his hair and he pulled back.

His own fingers ran through his hair this time as he pulled away, sitting on the bed next to me, “Since when are you the voice of reason?”

“It happens more than you like to admit.” I sat up, adjusting my clothes. I reached for his hands and he didn't jerk away when I linked our fingers, “Can we talk for once? Like really talk?”

“Are you gonna ask me to open the connection?”

“No.”

“Fine.”

“Who taught you?”

Talon stared past me, fixating on the wall across the room, “His name was Syris. He was already old when we met.” Talon smiled softly, “He stepped on me when I was a kid. I was living on the streets after my family died. This would've been shortly after your brother and Lex smashed my hands. I was, for the most part crippled, starving. There wasn't a day where my 12 year old self wasn't in pain. I was laying there, hoping it would all end when this crotchety old man stepped on me and then scolded me for being on the ground. Then he berated me for getting blood all over him when he helped me up.”

I watched the emotions transform Talon's face as he spoke and felt a small smile of my own growing on my lips, “He took me home with him and cleaned me up. Complaining the entire time, mind you. For two straight months he put orange powder on my hands in the morning and at night he made me submerge them in a purple liquid. I still don't know what it was. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, they healed. I had to be retrained to do the little things you take for granted. Even feeding myself was hard at first. He helped me through it all though.”

“He controlled lightning and was incredibly strong even at his age. I can’t imagine what he was like in his prime. Once my hands were back to working order and he figured out I had my gift he ran me ragged with physical, mental, combat, and Magik training. He's also who taught me alchemy. It's his house that I live in and his family symbol was the tree with silver leaves. My symbol too now. Mind you when he took me in Krinn's ever lovely townspeople twisted it. They painted the one on the wall. I'm sure you saw it. The dead leafless one.”

“He came here a long time ago. He wasn't from Dimian. I think people already didn't trust him, but when he took me in they completely wrote him off. Screamed at us in the streets, threw things at us, the more creative even accused him of taking me in for...less than wholesome reasons. He barely even reacted. If I cried or tried to fight them he'd smack my knee with his cane. He was probably the best thing that could've ever happened to me. I'll forever owe my survival to him.”

“What happened to him?” I hated to ask, positive that I knew the answer.

Talon looked down at his hands, “He died. I was 18. He left me everything.” I didn't know what to say. My heart ached for him. He had only had Syris for six years. Yet another person that had been taken from him. It seemed like an endless list.

“Is that really what you wanted to ask me?”

I met his gaze and felt his unease, “I don't want to push too far. I know this is hard for you.”

“Stupid isn't it? It's my life. It shouldn't be this difficult to talk about.” His eyes shone with unshed tears and he looked away from me, taking a shaky breath. I was at a total loss on how to proceed. This was the most Talon had even talked to me outside of teaching Magik. That didn't even touch on the fact that he'd let me in on something that obviously caused him great pain to revisit. How far could I get with this? I guess the worst that could happen would be that he told me no, shut me out again. Might as well try now when he seemed to be in the mood to share.

“What happened to your family?” I held my breath at his sharp intake. He stared at me for a few seconds and I wondered if he was trying to figure out a way to tell me off tactfully.

“I don't think I can talk about it.” I nodded at him, gently taking his hand back in mine and giving him plenty of time to pull away if he wanted. He linked our fingers and ran his hand through his hair yet again. A nervous gesture.

“That's okay. It's a pretty big thing for me to have asked about.”

“I can't tell you, but...maybe I can show you?” I tilted my head and scooted closer to him when he motioned for me to do so. He pulled me into his arms as he laid back on the bed, my back against his chest. We lay on our sides and his face rested in my neck again as he draped an arm over my hip. I snuggled myself into him and smiled. This I could definitely get used to. I was about to ask him something when the wall between our minds disintegrated. He reached out and I met him halfway. My eyes slipping closed as I was hit with a tide of emotions. And with the emotions came memories.

I was small. It was the memory from before. The man was guiding me out of the dark house where she had been slumped over the table. I called out to her, as he opened the front door, my voice not my own. I was struggling now and the man hit me in the mouth. I looked up at him in shock, tasting metal on my tongue and lips. He led me out in front of the house where other men were waiting. My house. I lived here. That's right. There were others outside. Two children, a man...

The scene shifted. I was running through the streets, rain pouring down. My long wet hair kept getting stuck to my face and my short legs hurt. A man held my hand and yanked me down streets and through alleys. His legs were so much longer and I was so tired. I decided to tell him so, “Papa, I'm tired.”

“Talon keep moving. I know you are. We can’t stop yet, but soon I promise.” He turned and I saw a little girl on his hip, her short black hair in small braids to her shoulders, she was sobbing as the rain pelted her little face. To my left an older boy ran next to us, scrawny, his white hair whipping behind him. The man hissed when I tripped and fell, scraping my knee on the rough ground, tears springing to my eyes. The man with short gray hair doubled back, scooping me up and hoisting me on his shoulder. He and the other boy began to run again.

There were people following us. Yelling, their faces angry, and their boots stomped through puddles. I was dropped carefully on my feet. The other boy tugging me onto a flimsy looking little boat. The man handed the little girl to the boy and then began throwing the coils of rope off that tethered the boat to the dock. He clambered in as the group following us hit the dock, their feet pounding on the wood. The man kicked us away and he and the boy started rowing as fast as they could. A man broke from the crowd and launched himself at the boat. He didn't make it. The boy stood, clapping his hands together. The little girl wailed and I screamed as the man exploded, parts of him falling into the water, blood splashing across my face. The man held his hand up and the air around it shuddered, pulsing and hurting my small ears. He dipped his hand in the water and the small boat began to roar through the rough waves, putting distance between us and the angry group of people.

“From here we head to the nearest port. Dimian has sent men to retrieve us.”

The landscape around me shifted again and the familiar streets of Krinn appeared. The little girl was older now, ordering the other boy around in broken sentences. He was also older. Around 16 maybe? I was still a child somewhere between the two.

“I can't do that. Our family doesn't condone violence.”

“He makes things explode. How can he refuse to help his country with a gift like that?” The man with gray hair-Papa-was back and arguing with a man in the King's green uniform. The black piping crisp and neat.

“We don't want to fight. We're not violent people.”

“We aren't asking. The boy comes with us.” The boy-Maylen-had been standing to the side, watching the whole conversation with a worried expression. I wasn't sure what exactly was going on. I didn't know these men other than they sometimes came to speak with Papa. I watched as two uniformed men seized Maylen's arms and began dragging him away. Papa tried to pry one of their hands off of him and another guard hit him in the face with the back of his sword. I heard myself cry out, but my small feet were frozen to the ground. Maylen shrugged the guard’s off of him and slammed his hands against either side of one of their heads. The man’s head promptly exploded and I and the little girl screamed as yet another guard ran Maylen through with a sword. Scarlet blooming across his stomach. Papa was up again and waves of high pitched sound screamed from his hands. Two more of the men dropped, screaming and holding their heads as blood poured from their ears. Maylen was bleeding on the ground, more stab wounds in his chest, his eyes slowly losing focus. More guards came from nowhere and Papa fell under them, multiple swords falling. I darted to the little girl, wrapping my thin arms around her as we both sobbed.

The memory cut off and I realized I was crying. Full streams of tears ran down my face and my very soul ached. Humans would go down as the cruelest species to ever inhabit this Earth. I turned in Talon's arms and his eyes were damp. He gave me a weak smile and shrugged.

“So, that's most of what made me the fantastically charming, phenomenally handsome man that I am today. Yay memories.”

“I shouldn't have pushed you to tell me. I'm sorry Talon. That's so awful.”

“If I didn't want to tell you or show you, I wouldn't have.” He took a breath and blinked away the moisture in his eyes, “I don't know what's going to happen Kalian, but I feel something coming. It's not going to be good and I think...I think you're going to need me for whatever it is.”

I looked up at him, worry shuddering through my mind, “What do you mean?”

“I don't know, just, be careful okay? Lex may look stupid but I don't think he is. He's up to something and until we know what I think we're all in limbo.” I rested my cheek against his chest, feeling foolish that I needed comfort when Talon was the one that had been through more atrocities than one life should have to deal with.

“Talon?”

“Oh god there's more questions? I bared my soul to you, you greedy monster.”

“Only one. What happened to the little girl?”

“They...they took her. I don't know.”

“What was her name?”

“Lyrah.”

“We'll find her.”

“Kalian. It was a long time ago. She'd be a teenager by now. There's no telling if her name would even be the same.”

“They left you there alone? You were what 10, 11?”

“Around there. I...I ran. When they came for us. I ran and sh-she was too slow. She fell and I didn't stop. I wasn’t strong enough to carry her.” He looked away from me and I watched him use a huge amount of willpower to stop himself from crying, “I let them take her.”

“You were a child. What were you supposed to have done against armed soldiers?”

“Something. Anything. Fight back.”

“They would've hurt you too Talon. Then what would she have done? Now at least we can figure out what happened. Maybe she's in Syrin!”

“I don't want to talk about this anymore. Please.” I looked up at him and his eyes were closed, pain radiating across the connection. I wanted to ask if the men had come for him again. When had the king decided he’d be allowed to dwell, unbothered in The Shift?

“Okay. Then we won't.” The sun was starting to make it's way up into the sky and for the remaining few hours before class I held Talon against me until he finally fell into a restless sleep. Plans were forming in my head and for once I didn't feel like I was totally lost. I had an idea and if it worked I would finally level the playing field. I would finally have an active role in the games that people were playing with my life. I was sick of standing on the sidelines. Accepting that my life had sucked and now I was being handed all these opportunities and should be grateful. I was grateful, but now I was going to take control. I'd seen what our country did to people they didn't understand and I wouldn't stand for it. Things needed to be addressed on a smaller scale at first, though. Starting with the godforsaken wedding to Lex. Military influence or not, I was still a lord. I had a title, my family had land. If what everyone told me was true, I had the potential to be one of the strongest Magik users in the country if not the world. I didn't need Lex. I never had. He needed me. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't what I wanted or needed. Talon was my balance and the more I saw, the more I knew he was as strong as I planned to be. I laid there, for once not exhausted. My mind was running a mile a minute, carefully sliding the puzzle pieces together.

I would make Lex and this country see that the days of controlling me, the days where I went along with whatever the authority figure in my life said, the days of weakness, they were over. In the span of one morning I had become someone different. Had it really been that morning though? Ever since I came here I'd been building my independence and inner strength, and I would continue to do so.

Things were going to change in my life. I would make them.

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