Be Rad - 22. Chapter 22

August 14, 1980

It was a lazy morning, a very lazy morning. We just lounged around and made love. I loved exploring his body, trying to find new things that I had missed. Today I found a bump of skin on his dick, behind the head and on the bottom. I teased him about it, asked him if he had a venereal disease, but it was just a bump left over from his circumcision.

“So what do you want to do today?” I asked.

“I wonder what my parents are doing,” he responded glumly.

“I have an idea. Why don't we spend today just enjoying each other? Let's not think about them, let's not call them, let's just go explore the City.”

He smiled his beautiful, engaging smile. “Can we check in with JP first?”

“Nope. If we call they might be able to figure out where we are. I'll call Stef later on.” I saw the struggle on his face, the struggle as he tried to put all of the shit behind him. I saw a blink of recognition on his face, a sign I would have expected from me, flipping that switch off.

“Cool. You're on. Let's take a shower and head out.” I called the front desk and extended our stay for one more day, then joined him in the shower for some mind-blowing sex. We headed out onto the town to find a beautiful summer day in the City. We bought cable car day passes and headed down to Pier 39 and back to Alcatraz.

We stood on the deck of the boat as we had just last weekend, enjoying the breeze and the great views of the City. “Don't kiss me, OK,” Robbie said, teasing me. We got to Alcatraz and started walking up the long ramp to the prison.

“What's with all of this graffiti?” he asked.

“The Indians took over Alcatraz in the '70s. I think it was 1971. They claimed it as their native land. Started out pretty cool, but then a bunch of scumbags moved out here and trashed the place.” He nodded. We followed a tour guide through the prison, amazed at the stories. At one point they locked us in a solitary cell. It was pretty scary.

“If they catch me, I may end up in a place like this.”

“No, you'll end up in Jesus school, and that will be worse,” I joked back, getting a snaugh. “They don't put runaways in jail. Just enjoy yourself.” He smiled at me, giving me that dynamite grin.

After Alcatraz we strolled along Fisherman's Wharf. I'm not a big fish fan, and the smell was pretty ripe, but the people were interesting. We made it to Ghiradelli Square and caught the cable car to Union Square, getting a view of Lombard Street as we passed it on the way. “The crookedest street,” I observed to Robbie.

“What are we doing here?” he asked as we hopped off the cable car in Union Square.

I sniffed my armpits. “New clothes. We need to get at least a few things.” I used Stef's credit card to buy a few shirts and shorts. Plus some underwear. We had a really good time buying funny boxers, at least until I caught the clerk ogling Robbie and got pissed off.

It was 7PM by then. “Brad, I'm having a blast, but it's starting to bother me that I don't know what's going on.” I nodded and we headed back to the hotel.

I called Stef's house. Alice answered and seemed pretty calm when I asked for Stef. At least they weren't frantically waiting for us.

“Bradley, still hiding out?” he giggled.

“We are Stef. You mind being our link to the real world?”

“Honey, I will be your link for anything.” He was hysterical. “So I suppose you want to know what's going on.”

“Yep. I'm going to put you on speaker so Robbie can hear too.”

I'm sure he heard all the clicks as I activated the speaker function. A cool feature in our cool suite. Stef and Robbie said “hi” to each other, and then we waited silently for Stef to go on.

“Well, I talked to Tonto about an hour ago, so your timing is perfect. I want you to know that I told her that I talked to you two and that you were safe. I'm sorry honey, I probably shouldn't have, but she's an old lady and I didn't want her to endure any stress.”

“Good luck to the interrogator who tries to get info out of her anyway.” I said, cracking us all up.

“So your mother, Robbie, has been beside herself. Tonto doesn't think she's worried, she's pissed off. Tonto actually thinks your father, now that he's done being pissed off that you left, is kind of enjoying it. So anyway, she's been ranting and raving, and made some insulting remarks about gay people, so JP asked her to leave.”

“Wow. He threw my mom out?”

“He did. Bad news for you though, Robbie. Your dad stayed. I do not think their marriage is in great shape.”

“And it's all my fault,” Robbie said glumly.

“Well, I always thought you were a smart guy, and now you go and prove me wrong. You're pretty self-centered too.”

“What?” he asked, surprised. Neither one of us was expecting something so raw and cold from Stef.

“Their marriage is their problem, not yours. You two both fucked Jake and it pissed you both off. But was that the real reason you were not together?”

That made me pause and think, and I could see that Robbie was doing the same thing. Jake had pissed us both off, but he wasn't the reason we had separated. There were much deeper reasons. I got his point.

“Thanks Stef. I got it now.” Robbie said. I could feel Stefan's smile over the phone, the joy he got from being a sage and actually being effective at it.

“Good. So your father is staying at Escorial and your mother has a hotel room somewhere.”

“My dad’s probably staying with JP,” said Robbie bitterly.

“Probably is. Probably fucking his brains out as we speak. They both deserve a little happiness too, do you not think?”

Robbie looked guilty again. “I guess you're right.”

“I know I'm right. Have you been celibate?”

Robbie blushed. “I think you made your point Stef,” I intervened.

“So, that's where things stand. Your mother wants to put out an APB on you two, but JP has already hired a lawyer and he's blocking her moves.”

“What do you think we should do?” asked Robbie.

“You asking me for sexual pointers?” he teased. Then he got serious. “You can last a lot longer than she can. Take some time to enjoy each other, this vacation. Let her burn herself out fighting against air. You have time until school starts. JP already let the school, and the football coach know that you're away for a while on a family emergency.”

I marveled once again at how good JP was at organization. “Can I call home?” I asked.

“I will touch base with JP and let you know. And I will tell them you're OK. Call me in the morning and we will talk.”

“Thanks Stef,” we both chimed as we hung up.

Robbie looked at me and smiled. I certainly wasn't expecting that. “I'm hungry.” I laughed. We took a shower and made love again. It had gotten so meaningful, so intense, that it took me at least five minutes after I came before I could walk, I was so giddy.

We took a cab to the Castro District. I think that since we were both gay men, and knew it, we wanted to see how our “people” lived. It was a Thursday night but the Castro was still hopping. We grabbed a fast dinner at a local diner-type place. It was just fuel, nothing special. Then we strolled around, holding hands. It wasn't a very pleasant experience.

It seemed like everyone was a stereotype. There were drag queens, all festooned, looking like they were ready to join the circus. There were the flamers, the ones that would have been like Stef if they weren't so bitchy. The leather guys, many of whom were pretty chunky. And of course, punk rockers, with lots of chains hanging from their jean jackets, multi-colored hair and Mohawk hair cuts.

“Where are all the regular guys?” Robbie asked, disappointed.

“I don't know. I guess I thought it would just be a neighborhood with couples, gay couples, instead of straight couples. This is like a fucking zoo.”

He nodded soberly. “No kidding. And if I feel one more hand brush over my ass I'm gonna punch someone.” That was the other thing. I knew I was handsome, and I knew Robbie was gorgeous, but these guys were mercenaries. We could hardly walk three steps without a “Hey sweetie,” or “Wanna have a threesome?”, or “Yummy.” It was cool at first, but now it was annoying.

We turned off the main drag and went down a street with a bunch of young guys hanging out. Our gait got more bouncy, feeling like maybe we'd found a place we could identify with. A car drove by and a window rolled down, and a young guy got in. I froze when I realized where we were.

“What's going on?” asked Robbie.

“These guys are all hustlers, male prostitutes,” I said sadly. “We've found the discarded gay youth, selling their asses to survive.” I heard my factual, scientific tone and knew I was using it to cover my sadness.

Down the street a bit further we saw a black car drive up. It was too far away to see what kind it was, much less a license plate or other identification. The passenger door opened up and a human fell out. The car sped away. No one seemed to notice or care. I couldn't stop myself. I started running down the street with Robbie in tow, ignoring the taunts, jeers, and suggestive comments of the others.

The human was a younger guy, on the small side, and he had managed to roll over to the gutter and crawl onto the sidewalk. I ran up and knelt over him carefully. He was small and wiry, with blond hair. I tried to roll him over and talk to him but he just curled up in a fetal position and refused. Finally I forced his face to turn to mine and found myself eyeball to eyeball with Jake!

His eyes bulged, huge, as did mine, and then he looked scared shitless and tried to move, to run away. He cringed in pain. “It's OK, Jake. We're not going to hurt you.” I stared at him, trying to convey a sense of tenderness to him. Robbie knelt on the other side, but Jake focused on me.

“You hate me,” Jake said. “Got beat up pretty bad. It hurts.” He looked a little incoherent. His breath reeked of alcohol. “Tied me up and fucked me, then beat the shit out of me.” He rubbed his wrists. They were raw with rope burns.

“I don't hate you. Robbie and I are going to make sure you're OK. Robbie, stay here with him,” I ordered. He nodded. I was in my problem solving mode, and he'd seen that before.

There was a young guy not too far away from me, looking at us with only slight interest. I walked up to him and he ran his hand down my chest and across my groin. I brushed it away and he looked pissed. “What the fuck do you want?” he demanded.

“That guy's hurt pretty bad,” I said.

“It happens. He's young, he'll heal.” I couldn't believe how callous he was.

“Did you see that car that dropped him off, license number, anything?” I asked.

“You're a little young for a cop,” he observed wryly. “I'm working. Get the fuck out of here.”

“You want to end up like him?” I asked, irritated.

“Don't come down here in your OP shorts and Izod shirt and tell me about my life asshole. You don't know shit. Head back to the suburbs and your white bread life and forget all about us. You'll be much happier, and much less annoying.”

He started to walk away but I grabbed his arm. He glared at me. “Let me go.” Then he switched gears to his slutty mode. “Touching costs.”

“When guys like, well, guys like you get hurt, where do you go for medical help?”

He laughed. “We don't. Look.” He showed me his left hand, where his ring finger had grown at a grotesque angle. I pulled out my wallet and handed him $100. I reminded myself that I'd need to get more cash. “What do I get to do for this?” he asked.

“Three things. Tell me where to take him for medical help.”

“There's a hospital a few blocks from here.” He gave me the info. “They usually don't ask too many questions. What else?” He leered at me.

“Get yourself something to eat, and spend the night in a real bed.” He grinned then stopped himself.

“Thanks,” he said, and walked off.

“You done picking up hustlers?” Robbie said as soon as I got back. I recognized his expression. He was nervous about Jake, and a little panicked.

“Go down to that corner and flag down a cab and bring him here. You'll have to flash some cash to get him to do it.” He got up and did exactly what I told him. The unthinking response from all of the discipline he'd had in his life was handy right now, I thought ruefully.

“Can you walk? Stand up?” I asked Jake. He nodded and got up gingerly. “What hurts?”

“Everything,” he said with a small grin.

I didn't feel like joking. “I'm trying to figure out if you need medical help. What hurts the most?”

“Brad, don't take me to a hospital. Please. I just need to rest. Can you help me rest?” I nodded.

Robbie came up in a cab and I helped Jake in and climbed in behind him. “The Fairmont,” I said. We were all quiet as we drove along. I felt a hand in mine and looked over to see Jake looking up at me, sad, with a tear in his eye. I squeezed his hand and smiled at him. “When we get to the hotel, I'll need you to walk through the lobby looking as good as you can, OK?” He nodded.

The cab drove up to the front of the hotel and I let Robbie handle paying the fare. Jake walked slowly, but remarkably well. When we got to the elevator and pushed the button, he started to fall, but Robbie picked him up handily. Jake screamed in pain at first, but then settled into Robbie's arms. Seeing Robbie holding and nuzzling him should have made me feel jealous as hell, but it didn't. It was such a neat side of him, the loving and caring side, that all I could do was smile at him. Besides, he loved me and I knew it. I was secure now.

We got into the room and took Jake straight to the bathroom. We started taking off his clothes slowly. First his shirt, where we could see the welts on his back where he'd been whipped, and the bruises starting to form. There were raw marks around his wrists and ankles where he'd been tied up. Then his pants. There were semen stains on his underwear, stains from the guy who had beat him and then fucked him. I grimaced and Jake actually smiled at me. “You broke me in, so at least that didn't hurt.” I smiled back at him.

There was a huge bathtub in the bathroom and I thanked my lucky stars that I had gotten a suite. We drew a bath, a nice warm bath, and lowered him in. Then we ordered room service for him (plus some snacks for us.) It had been less than a week, just the 9th, when I'd tossed him out of my house. And here he was, turning tricks in the City?

“So what happened to you?” I asked him. The bath seemed to revitalize him, and he'd sobered up.

“After you threw me out of your house I decided to go shopping.” His voice was bitter.

“I had good reason to do that,” I said firmly. I knew that I’d end up helping him to whatever degree possible. But I wasn't going to put up with any guilt trips.

He turned to look me in the eyes, so I'd know he was sincere. “You did. I'm sorry.” I just nodded. I was conscious that Robbie was next to me, behind me. His warmth was reassuring.

He sighed and went on. “I came to see you because I was having problems with my b...” he stopped before he could say boyfriend, “...with Sam.”

“What kind of problems?” I needed to know.

“We were doing really well. I spent most evenings there. Sam is magnificent. He knows exactly how to satisfy another man, at least one that likes to be fucked. And boy do I like to get fucked.” He grinned and his eyes twinkled. The old Jake, which was disturbing and reassuring all at the same time. I looked down and noticed that his cock had gotten hard when he talked about Sam. It was making me horny, but I needed to know what happened.

“But?” I prompted.

“Your dad came over and found me there,” he said bitterly. “He told Sam that fucking around with a 16 year old 'boy' was immoral and illegal, and then Sam went off on him about sleeping with Stefan when he was young. It was brief but ugly. After JP left, Sam glared at me and just told me to get the fuck out.” Now his expression showed sadness. “I really liked him. He appreciated me, made me feel loved.” And that really was the key. Jake just wanted to be loved.

“You want love, but you keep looking in the wrong places, just like the song.” He grinned and nodded.

“So anyway, I came back the next day and Sam wouldn't even let me in. He just opened the door a crack and told me that we couldn't be together. I tried to talk to him but he just closed the door in my face. That's when I went up to see Robbie. I really didn't know who else I could talk to.”

“And you figured that maybe you'd get lucky and get in his pants” I said bitterly.

He nodded guiltily. “Sorry Brad. You two were on the rocks and he's a great fuck. Just like you.” He giggled, trying to use his coquettishness to hide his pain. It didn't work.

“After that, I headed to the mall. I went to the bathroom at Emporium and there was a cute guy there. He made eyes at me, I made eyes back at him, and the next thing you know I have my pants down with my dick out, and he arrested me.” Now tears really started to flow. “He marched me through the store in cuffs. I wonder how many people from Gunn were there and saw me.” Maybe he could play that off as a false shoplifting charge. Maybe.

Now he was on a roll. “They brow beat me, forced me to sign a confession, and then the cops came and cuffed me again and hauled me off to the Paly jail. They called my parents. My father came and bailed me out. When I got out he took the keys to my car. It's in their name, not mine. Then he told me that I was a faggot, and dead to him.” He broke down crying and I moved involuntarily forward to hug him. Robbie took that opportunity to add some hot water in the tub...it was getting lukewarm.

“Brad, the way he turned away from me, it was so cold. I've never felt so alone in all of my life. I had some money in my pocket, and a little in the bank, but not enough to last very long. I headed up here. I knew there was a big gay community here. I figured that maybe there was someone here that could help guys like me.”

“I discovered pretty quick that if you're young and cute like me,” he grinned at his own egotism, “hustling is the best way to make some cash. I love fucking, so it seemed like a great job. I know what you're thinking, that it's a horrible thing to do. But there are worse jobs. Until tonight.”

I didn't get that. “Yeah Jake, but you have to sleep with scumballs, people you don't want to. Gross guys.”

“Yeah, but I just closed my eyes and fantasized that it was someone else.” I wondered who he thought about. Probably Sam.

“The guy tonight was cute and nice until he got me home. He tied me up, which was fun.” He leered at us. “But then he started beating me. Then he fucked me, and that was fun, but then he cut me down and beat the shit out of me. I barely remember getting in the car and falling out. And then you guys were there, the last people I expected to see.”

“This life you've chosen,” his eyebrows narrowed, “or that you've been forced into,” I said apologetically, “will kill you.”

“I know that now. What am I going to do? My parents hate me, you hate me, your dad hates me, and Sam doesn't want me.”

“Hey Robbie, maybe he can take your place at Jesus school,” I said, cracking a joke. The two of us laughed but Jake didn't. Robbie took my place next to him and I moved up to his head. I put my hand on his head and dunked him, shocking the shit out of him.

“What the fuck?” he came up, spluttering, while we just laughed.

“Your hair is gross. I'm gonna wash it for you.” He frowned at me but turned his attention to Robbie as Robbie told him all about our recent drama. I gently washed his hair, massaging his scalp. He moved his head into my hand like a cat, seeming to relish the soft touch. I felt really sorry for him. This kid had stumbled from one disaster to the next. He'd gotten the raw end of the deal. Some of it, he deserved, but not this. I gently rinsed his hair, thinking that maybe he'd done enough penance.

“So can I stay with you guys tonight?” he asked. “I mean, I don't want to interfere. I can sleep on a couch and just watch.” We laughed.

“You're staying with us. That's not an issue. What happens to you next?”

“I don't know. I guess I'll go back to the street. I don't know how to thank you guys for helping me out.”

“You're not going back to the street. Can I trust you enough to leave you alone with my boyfriend?” He giggled, and that made me feel good. A little bit of the old Jake was coming back.

I headed to the phone and paused to look at the beautiful city that gleamed and glistened in front of me. There was a dark side to all of this beauty. It didn't take long to get an answer. I heard Stef's voice and sighed with relief.

“Bradley, I thought you were going to call me in the morning.”

“Why, are you busy?” I teased.

“I am about to be.” I heard him cover the phone and yell at Greg. “You will not mind if I ask you to make this fast?”

I laughed. “I have another problem. You want me to call back?”

I heard a click and then Stef's voice, but more tinny. “It's my turn to put you on speaker phone. This way maybe Greg will listen instead of grabbing my dick.” I heard Greg growl, and Stef giggle. “What's the problem?”

“We found Jake in San Francisco,” I told him.

“That must be awkward. Were you polite to him?”

“No Stef, it's not like that. He got kicked out of his house and he was up here doing tricks to survive. He got beat up pretty bad. He seems OK. He's taking a bath now.”

“He got beat up? Does he have any broken bones?” he asked.

“I don't know Stef. His wrists are raw from where he was tied up. His body is bruised and there are welts on his back.”

“Bradley, would you be willing to let him stay with you tonight?”

“Of course Stef. We already worked that out.”

He asked my room number in case he needed to get in touch with me, and told me that he'd think about things and call us in the morning.

I went into the bathroom where Jake was lounging in the tub with a sad look on his face. Robbie got up and kissed me and went into the other room. It was obvious to me that he was giving me some time alone with Jake.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey. You hate me?”

“No, I don't hate you. Quit saying that.” I found that I meant that. I felt myself being drawn into him, into his web, and then my lips were on his in a short, friendly kiss and then his arms were around my neck as he hugged me, gripping me like he was hanging from a 50 story building and holding me was the only thing keeping him from falling.

“Good. Because you're the guy I think about when those other guys are fucking me.”

I felt myself blushing. “You have to learn boundaries Jake. If you had, you wouldn't be here now.”

“I don't think I'm the one who needs to learn boundaries. I'm just available and easy. If other people can't handle their boundaries, is that my fault?”

“I told you that I was into Robbie at the party, and you hit on him anyway. You betrayed my friendship, and now I don't trust you,” I said.

He thought about that. “He wanted it.”

“Who wouldn't? Who wouldn't want your sweet little ass?” I said, smiling and flirting with him. “You have to help people, your friends, be strong.”

“I called Stef and told him about you,” I said, changing the subject.

“I love Stef. He is awesome.”

“I do too. I know how he works. Sometime tomorrow morning he'll show up and whisk us off in his plane to Malibu. And he'll try to set you up so you can go to school and you don't have to do tricks.”

His eyes got big. Talk about a dream come true, especially for him at this point. I burst his bubble. “I don't know if I'm going to let him do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because he went through a lot to finally find his soul mate. To finally meet the man of his dreams. But he did, and they've been happy for a long time now. And I don't want you to fuck that up.”

“You're worried that I'll seduce Greg?”

“I'm worried that you'll seduce them both, but that one of them will fall for you and it will destroy them.”

“I don't want that to happen, Brad, but if it did, how would that be my fault?”

“Because you want that to happen. I think you like finding guys who are committed, or into someone else, and then you get them to fuck you. I think it makes you feel good; it's good for your self-esteem. That guy picked you over someone else, over his own boyfriend.” I saw my words hitting him with the same force that his trick had kicked him.

“I don't do that,” he said defiantly.

“Look at your track record. Me and Robbie, Sam and JP. I'm not saying their relationship wasn't on the rocks already, but you sure put the nail in the coffin.” He got an indignant look on his face. “When he was fucking you, did you stop to think that maybe you were just doing this to get back at someone, maybe me?”

“This isn't all about you,” he said.

“OK, I'll grant you that. And I can understand Sam's sex appeal. Shit, when I saw him pounding you, I had some serious incestuous thoughts about him.” That made him giggle. “But you look a lot like my dad. Did that dawn on you?”

“You're saying that Sam just fucked me because I looked like JP? Thanks a lot Brad. Thanks a fucking lot.”

I stroked his face gently. “I'm sorry; I didn't mean it to sound like that. But did it?”

“So I'm a horrible person. Let me get dressed and get out of your life.”

“You're not going anywhere. I'm trying to explain to you why I'm pissed at you. If I hated you, or wanted you to leave, you'd be gone.” His eyes got big and he got really nervous. “There was a time when we were friends. We're not friends now, but I'd like us to be. But if you're going to come back into my life and fuck it all up again by being a slut, then we're not gonna be able to be buds.”

“You worried that I'll steal Robbie away?” Jake asked.

“Nope. We love each other.”

“Don't Stef and Greg love each other? Shit, they've been in Hollywood all of this time, around guys way hotter than me. What makes you think their relationship is so weak I could bust it up?”

“Because most guys don't meet them with a plan to do that. And I think that's your mode.”

I could see him thinking. He knew I was right. I knew I was right. What I didn't know was whether he'd try to be real with me, or try to bullshit me.

“Maybe you're right,” he said. I raised my eyebrows and he smiled. “OK, you're right. But I really like Stef and Greg, and I'd never do anything to break them up.”

I stared at him, a grilling, penetrating stare; because I wanted him to know that I was dead serious. “Here's the deal. You and I are cool. But you fuck up another relationship in my family, especially Stef and Greg, and I will ruin your life. Are we clear?” He nodded, and looked scared shitless. I thought about what I'd said and knew that I meant it. He should be scared.

“He looks ready to get out,” Robbie said standing in the doorway. We got Jake out of the tub, trying to make sure we didn't hurt him. His bruises looked worse, and he seemed to be in a lot of pain.

Robbie had made up the sofa bed in the sitting room and had thrown extra pillows in there. I'm not sure why, but it looked inviting enough.

“You don't trust me to sleep with you?” Jake asked flirting. I knew he was joking.

“Nope. One of us would wake up with his dick in your ass.” He laughed, but that hurt him, so he stopped abruptly.

We all went to bed. I closed the bedroom door and snuggled up to Robbie, pushing my dick against his ass. “Jake's here, we can't” he said.

“Go ahead and fuck him Brad. I won't look too much,” I heard from the sofa bed and we all cracked up. Until I penetrated Robbie and he shut up and just enjoyed the ride.