Be Rad - 1. Chapter 1

 

June, 1980

 

 

 

 

‘The last day of school until September,’ I thought with a smile. ‘A bientot Henry Gunn High School.’ When I come back in September I'll finally be a senior. I wondered if there was any major difference between being a junior and being a senior? Probably not, but it meant college was just that much closer. Freedom from bells and rigid schedules, and early mornings or late afternoons. The freedom to plan my schedule around the waves.

 

I lived to surf. It was my sport, my hobby, and my passion. That and drawing or painting. The only person who approached surfing with the same enthusiasm was my best friend, Mark Clark. Well, actually my best friend was my brother, Ace, but beyond the family, it would have to be “Lark.” We called him Lark because the “C” in Clark got absorbed into the “K” in Mark. He seemed cool with it.

 

“BE-RAD!” I heard loudly behind me and turned to see Lark. “You coastal?”

 

“Tomorrow. You in?”

 

“Fer sure,” he said. “You got plans tonight?”

 

“Yeah. Laser-light show with Ace and some of his pals. Wanna go?” I didn't invite Lark in the first place because he didn't get along too well with Ace's friends. They were a preppier, sportier bunch.

 

“No dice amigo. I've got a hot date.”

 

It would be with Julie. He'd been chasing after her all school year, begged her to go to the Junior Prom with him, and had been trying to get her to go out with him since then. “Julie?”

 

“You know it. Didn't close the deal at prom, so I'm gonna try again tonight.”

 

“The only thing you'll be closing is your hand around your dick when you jack off,” I said, giving him shit.

 

“I don't see you pulling any in,” he shot back. There was a very good reason for that, but I was saved from going into it by my sister. Not that I would have anyway.

 

“Bradley, I need a ride home. Take me?” I smiled down at Claire. Like I could ever say no to her. She was finishing up her freshman year, but had ended up hanging out with Ace and me and the juniors for most of the year. To say she was beautiful would be an understatement. She was gorgeous and mature for her age, which was a polite way of saying she had big tits. Claire had an entourage wherever she went, whether it was girls trying to emulate her or guys trying to get into her pants.

 

“Absolutely.” Lark couldn't stop staring at her so I punched him. “Wake me up in the AM when you're ready to go,” I told him.

 

“Geez Brad, he's allowed to look,” Claire chided me.

 

“It was just a playful punch. Besides, it's rude to scope out someone's sister in front of the guy.”

 

She just giggled. “Let's stop by the mall on the way home.”

 

“First of all, the mall isn't on the way home, and second, stopping by, as you say, will take at least two hours.” She pouted as we hopped into my Jeep. I caved like the pussy that I was and headed to the mall.

 

I was right. Two hours later found us finally on our way home with the Jeep packed full of crap, mostly for me. I wasn't allowed to dress myself, and neither was my younger brother Billy. Claire picked our clothes and told us what to wear. She was a fashionista, and we'd given up arguing with her a long time ago. The only rebel was Ace, but even he slunk into her room to ask for advice when he needed to look good. When it came to matters of fashion and taste, Claire ruled supreme.

 

“Those new shorts will look good on you, especially with those Izods.”

 

“I'll look like a preppy dork,” I said grumpily.

 

“Preppy is on its way in. You're ahead of the curve.” Whatever. It was useless to argue. At least I got to pick out my own wet suit.

 

We pulled up to the gates of our house, the house that was the envy of everyone on the Peninsula, or at least in Palo Alto. It even had a name: Escorial. It was a massive Spanish-style edifice built in the '20s, huge and ornate. My father bought it in 1968, along with the 25 acres that went with it. I punched in the code and waited impatiently as usual for the gates to open before I could head up the long driveto the garage. Claire giggled as I lugged the shit we'd bought into my room, wondering where I'd put it. My closet was crammed full. I sighed. Claire would organize it for me and donate all of the things that I ‘couldn't be seen in anymore’ to charity.

 

I closed my door, locked it and lay down to enjoy a few minutes of solitude. Solitude I put to good use as I pulled out my hardening cock and started slowly stroking it. I savored the feel of my hand as it moved up and down on my sensitive organ, pausing briefly to examine it. My dick was a blessing and a curse at the same time. It was big, really big. Not big like Ace's. Ace's dick was probably about seven and a half inches long and pretty wide. It was the perfect size, I thought with a chuckle, remembering those times when we were younger and exploring our bodies and he'd let me blow him. Lots of times, actually.

 

Not my dick though. It was at least an inch longer than Ace's and a little thicker too. Ace and Billy teased me, telling me I should be a porn star. You'd think that being so well-endowed would make life wonderful: that girls would fall at my feet once they heard how big it was, or that gay guys would line up to suck it. Not so. It seemed to scare the girls, and the few gay guys that I'd encountered seemed to find it too big of a challenge to suck. And that wasn't the only thing, not by far. Like any typical seventeen year old boy, my dick had a mind of its own, and when it decided to get hard for no apparent reason at all, it was very difficult to hide. Ever since I was in junior high I'd had to wear a jock strap under my boxers just to try and contain it if I popped a boner.

 

I put thoughts of my huge dick aside as I stroked with more of a purpose. I tossed my head back and thought about Lark. Straight as an arrow Lark, the guy I'd been crushing on for three years now. He was the same height as me, six feet tall, and had the same body type. We were both slim and fit from surfing, and neither one of us had any body hair beyond a treasure trail and the three bushes (pubes and armpits). Not only that, we both shaved our legs to make it easier to slide our wet suits on and off, so that made us look like little kids in shorts with no leg hair. But where my hair was brown, his was blond. When the sun bleached his hair, it made it a lighter shade on top that mixed with the darker shade underneath, giving him sexy sun-soaked streaks. When the sun bleached mine, it gave it auburn highlights, or at least that's what Claire called them. His eyes were blue, mine were green. His face almost became round when he smiled, and he had a gap between his two front teeth. My face was a long oval, and I had perfect teeth, courtesy of lots of orthodontia.

 

I thought about Lark's body, his smooth skin that covered his barely visible ab muscles, his cute ass that seemed abnormally small compared to his tall form, and I fantasized about what his dick would look like when it was hard, sprouting out from his dark blond pubes. I felt my balls rise and my orgasm surge forward, exploding all over my chest. I grabbed a Kleenex, wiped it off and headed to the bathroom to finish cleaning up.

 

Dinner was good, especially since I was always hungry. How Anna managed to make enough food to feed me, Ace, and Billy, not to mention Sam, was beyond me, but she did. My brothers and I stuffed our faces while the others chatted.

 

To say my family was unusual was an understatement. My mother wasn't really my mother. My real mother had killed herself when I was just a kid, which was fine with me since we hated each other anyway. Isidore had ‘adopted’ me as one of her own kids, and I thought of her as my mom. She was married to my uncle, JP Crampton, only he wasn't my real uncle. My mom had an affair while my father was in the Navy, so I had a different biological father. Both he and my father died when I was little, so JP adopted me just as Isidore had. He is an amazing guy, someone I totally love and respect. I thought about our relationship. I think he likes Ace best of all of us, but I think he trusts me the most. I'm cool with that.

 

And then there's Sam, JP's boyfriend. So my dad, who isn't really my dad, is married to my mom, who really isn't my mom, but he's really gay and his lover lives with us. I'd put aside worrying about all of this shit a long time ago and just accepted and returned the love they'd all given me. I'd never been treated like anything but a son by any of them. But it was a little odd, and it made things a little strange when my friends came to visit.

 

Missing from our table was my Uncle Stefan, the guiding beacon in my life. Stefan and I had bonded when I was young. He'd always been there for me when I needed him. When I first realized I was gay, he was the first one I talked to about it. When my body started to change, he told me about jacking off and how to do it. And when I started experimenting with guys, he told me how to give head. There really wasn't anything I couldn't talk about with him. Still, I hadn't had the anal sex conversation with him. Maybe he'd have some pointers for a guy with a big dick.

 

Stefan's partner is a guy named Greg, who's a big-time Hollywood producer. That's why they're not here: They live in LA. Malibu to be more exact. Greg is awesome, perfect for Stef, andis another rock in my life. It's funny because over the past few years as Stef has totally absorbed the role of Greg's wife he's become more and more effeminate. That makes him a little tough to introduce to friends too.

 

So you'd think a guy like me who knows he's gay wouldn't let all these family situations bother him, and I guess they don't, only no one beyond my immediate family knows the truth about my sexuality. I date women, which is fun, and I lust after men, which is frustrating, but I just can't bring myself to be “out,” at least not in high school. There was one gay kid at school: Jerome Wild. Jerome was tormented mercilessly until Ace and I protected him. His life has been a living hell. I can't deal with that. I can't deal with losing all of my friends, with being an outcast. I'm shy enough as it is.

 

And that shyness really gets in the way. Once I get to know people and open up, I'm fine, but with strangers, they have to approach me because I sure as hell won't go up to them. I don't know why it bothers me, going up to people I don't know, but it does. Ace is just the opposite. He's never met a stranger. Outgoing and gregarious, with social skills that make me green with envy, he's always been the fire-starter of my social life. So even though I'm incredibly shy, I've had Ace to break the ice for me, and where that hasn't worked, the fact that my family is rich as hell has done the rest, especially with the girls.

 

“You ready?” Ace said. Billy looked at him wistfully, but Billy wouldn't have wanted to go even if Ace had invited him. Billy hung with his own friends, followed them around like a puppy. He'd end up hanging with them later on.

 

I said my goodbyes to the family and we headed out. I let Ace drive since his BMW was more comfortable than my Jeep, and because I planned to get seriously fucked up tonight. That started as soon as we got into the car. I lit up a joint that I'd rolled from pot harvested on our land. There was a small swale in the back of our property that was fairly well hidden and it had been designated the marijuana growing area, at least informally. My dad was a big pot smoker and so was Stef, but I don't think they knew I was poaching their weed. I passed the joint to Ace.

 

“Damn, we grow some nice bud,” he said.

 

“That we do.” We met up at Dan Church's house. Dan was Ace's version of Lark, and he was the primary reason that Lark wasn't here. They didn't get along at all. I think it had something to do with some girl way back, but their personalities were different anyway. Lark was intense, Dan was calm. Lark was upbeat and energetic; Dan was a buzz-kill waiting to happen. Dan thought Lark was a total spaz, while Lark thought Dan was a total dork. Lark was unassuming and friendly and Dan was an arrogant ass. Oil and water. We kept them apart.

 

“Hey Brad,” Dan said calmly and slowly, with his letters drawn out in a nasally tone, “what's up? Where's your boyfriend?”

 

“Hey Dan” I said. He was trying to piss me off in a way that wouldn't piss Ace off, but I refused to let it get to me. “I left him at home so I could get in your pants tonight.”

 

“You wish,” he said. Not really. Physically Dan was OK, but his personality was such a turn off there's no way I'd sleep with him. Just not my type: too big of an asshole. The other guy there was a different story. Doug Childers. What a fox. If I weren’t so totally in love with Lark I'd be trailing this guy.

 

Childers never had a girlfriend but always managed to come up with a hot date for dances, just like me. And just like me he was kind of shy until you got to know him. He was taller than me and bigger than me, size that came from working out. Guess he had to do that to play lacrosse and rugby with Ace, but it sure made him fine. That and his dark red hair. It wasn't orange like some guys that have red hair; it was a darker, brownish red. “Hey Childers,” I said in an offhand way that he knew to interpret as super-friendly coming from me.

 

“Hey Brad,” he said, just as significantly. “You look stoned.”

 

“Good guess, Einstein.” I pulled out another joint and we snuck out to Dan's garage to smoke it.

 

“Look what I scored for the show,” Dan said, pulling out a bag of magic mushrooms.

 

“I can't drive and trip,” said Ace.

 

“Sucks to be you,” I said, and took a few of the nasty things and grabbed a beer. Childers grabbed some too, and we did them together like shots. Ace looked pissed, but I knew he didn't like to trip anyway. He was just doing this for effect. Dan had no such qualms.

 

We hopped into the BMW and headed down to DeAnza College, where the planetarium was. I sat in back with Doug, mostly listening to Dan and Ace bullshit about the chicks they were gonna bang.

 

“Man, I was so close with Felicia the other night,” Ace said. “I had her pants off, had her all worked up, nice and moist, pulled out the raincoat, put it on, lined it up and got ready to do some serious choning, and then the phone rang. Fuck.” We all laughed at that.

 

“You'll get some eventually,” said Dan contemptuously. He talked a big game but unless all the girls at school were lying, he was probably still a virgin. Doug and I just rolled our eyes at each other.

 

“These shrooms suck,” Doug told Dan. “I don't feel a thing.”

 

“It takes a while dumb ass. You'll be tripping soon enough. Just shut the fuck up.” That's how shrooms were. They took a lot longer than you expected, but when they hit, they'd knock you on your ass.

 

We got our tickets and Dan almost got into a fight trying to get seats just where he wanted them. I'm the kind of guy that always has a friend's back, but if he'd have gotten jacked, I'd have let him fall. I can't believe Ace hangs with that asshole. I made sure that I sat in between Ace and Doug, shielded from others. Doug looked a little nervous about that since he had some punk rock chick next to him.

 

And then they hit. The shrooms that is. The whole planetarium was pulsing, breathing, not the people, but the building, and it was so fucking funny I couldn’t stand it. I started cracking up. Doug and Ace just looked at me. Then Doug started laughing too. We were hysterical, attracting attention, but then the show started. Led Zeppelin and pretty lights. Wow. Doug and I shut up and just took in the show. We said “wow” in a really low octave and cadence at regular intervals. On Ace's other side Dan seemed to be freaking out.

 

“Dan needs to get out of here,” Ace whispered to me.

 

“I'm not leaving. Let him go sit outside.”

 

“Come on Brad. I can't leave him there. He's freaking out.” Dan got up to leave and staggered a bit. “Shhhhh” a few people admonished.

 

“You want to go with him, go. Just call Rafael and have him pick us up, OK?”

 

Ace frowned. He didn't want to leave the show either. “Fine. Come back to the house then. We'll get these guys to stay over.” And then he and Dan were gone.

 

“What's up?” Doug asked me in between 'wows'.

 

“Dan freaked out. Stupid ass. Ace took him home. We're gonna get picked up after the show and head to our house. You cool with that? You wanna stay over?”

 

“Sure. Check out those colors.” And we were back into the show. There were two seats empty next to me now, and I thought about moving over but I really didn't want to. I liked being next to Doug, feeling his heat and occasionally brushing against his arm or his leg. I felt my dick rising. Fuck. I shifted in my seat uncomfortably.

 

The show ended and we just sat there giggling like a couple of girls while the crowd left. Finally we headed out and found Rafael there with the limo. It was kind of weird having a limousine, but it was definitely handy, and Rafael was a pretty cool guy. People stared at us while we hopped into the back, wondering who the fuck we were.

 

“Hey Rafael, I'm gonna roll up the screen so I can puff, OK?”

 

“No problem,” he said as I put the privacy screen up.

 

“Cool car,” Doug said. I lit another joint, took a hit, and handed it to him.

 

“Comes in handy at times like these.” We kicked back and enjoyed the ride until we got back home. Rafael dropped us off in front but I guided Doug around to the back. “I'm not exactly looking forward to bumping into my parents,” I told him, giggling more. These shrooms made me giggle.

 

We found Dan and Ace in Ace's room watching television, the latest episode of “Dallas”. Doug smiled. “Kind of feels like that here,” he said, pointing at Southfork.

 

“Yeah, but we don't have as many assholes, just Ace,” I said, giving him shit. He of course tackled me and we wrestled around for a few minutes until I realized I was getting hard again and so was he. I got a brainstorm. “Anyone want to go swimming?”

 

“I'm watching this,” said Dan. Good.

 

“Well why don't you finish this latest vital episode and then meet the rest of us in the pool?” I said like a total smart ass. “Come on, let's go.” Normally I wasn't so insistent on a course of action, but the shrooms were motivating me.

 

“We'll meet you down there when the show's over,” said Ace, resignedly.

 

“I don't have a bathing suit,” Doug said as we headed downstairs to the pool. “Whoa. This is bitchin’.” The pool at Escorial was indoors; with mosaic tiles pretty much everywhere you looked.

 

“Yeah, it's pretty cool except for the water, which is warm.” He chuckled at my stupid joke. “You don't have to wear a suit if you don't want to. No one's coming down here at this time of night.”

 

“Are you going to?” he asked shyly.

 

“I'll make you a deal. I won't if you won't.” There was a dressing room off to the side of the pool and I headed in there with Doug and started stripping off my clothes. I was going to have to time this right. I was going to have to get my clothes off, peek at his hot body as much as I could, and then jump in the water before I got too hard.

 

I pulled off my shirt and started working on my pants. I bent over to take them off, aiming my ass right at him. Was he checking me out? He was going slower than me, so I took time with my socks to let him catch up. Finally we were both standing there in our boxers. He was ultra fine. Most guys at 17 don't have a lot of body hair, and Doug was no exception, but his body looked manlier than mine, or any of my friends. Except maybe Ace; Ace had that kind of body, the one that was dripping with testosterone. I stopped staring and hoped that he hadn't caught me.

 

I pulled off my boxers with my back to him, and then my jock strap. I was plumping already, so I turned briefly back to glance at him and then rushed for the pool. The water was bath-water warm, it always was, and it felt wonderful. I heard Doug splash down behind me.

 

“Man, this is so nice,” he said as he we just hung out, enjoying the water. “So why do you wear a jock and boxers?”

 

“To hold down my massive dick,” I said playfully.

 

“Yeah right. No really, why?”

 

“Seriously, that's why,” I jumped at him and dunked him, shocking the shit out of him, and we ended up wrestling in the pool. The feel of his wet body sliding against mine, of his hands grabbing me and trying to push me underwater made me hard as a rock. He was stronger than me, but water is my milieu, so it was a draw. Panting, we both stopped wrestling and just stood there, squatting down in the shallow end to hide our bodies.

 

“So you're serious about your dick?” he asked, returning to the subject.

 

“Yep. Wanna see?” I asked, giggling.

 

“I'll show you mine if you show me yours,” he said, almost flirting.

 

“OK, count of three we stand up. One, two...three.” I stood up and so did he, and there we were, two 17 year old guys with raging hard-ons. He had a nice dick, really nice, probably six and a half inches and regular thickness, but it was perfectly formed, with hot bulging veins showing on the shaft.

 

“Damn. That thing is huge!” he said, staring at my dick. “You weren't bullshitting.” I was conscious of the fact that his dick quivered a bit as he stared at mine. I knew mine was.

 

“You're no slouch either,” I said. I moved a step closer to him, and then gauged his reaction. He didn't move away. He didn't move at all. “Are those veins hard?” I asked. I knew they weren't.

 

“Find out for yourself,” he said, and I reached down and touched his cock gently. He inhaled sharply as I ran my hand up and down the shaft and head, not so blatantly that it was gay, well, too gay, but enough to make him feel good. I gasped when I felt his hand on my dick.

 

“Damn,” he muttered again as he gently stroked it. “Guess this is pretty gay, huh?”

 

“Maybe, but it feels fucking great,” I said, and moved from gentle strokes into more aggressive jerking. He followed suit. Just as I was going to get into it I heard the door fly open and Ace and Dan came running in. We slipped below the water quickly, hiding our dicks and moving away from each other.

 

“Hey boys,” Ace said. “Did you miss us?” I stuck my ass out of the water and mooned him, cracking him up. “Skinny dipping huh?” Ace stripped off his clothes by the pool and jumped in too. Ace wasn't shy about his body. He had absolutely no reason to be. Dan was shyer, and went into the dressing room to take off his clothes. He jumped into the water so fast I barely got a chance to look at his dick. What I saw was pretty small.

 

We rough-housed around in the pool for a while. We were playing a game of Marco Polo and when I was it, I snuck a peek at Doug and when I leaped to grab him pinched his ass really hard. He yelped pretty loud. The shrooms were fading but we were still wide awake so we got dressed and headed upstairs to the living room to watch a movie. Sam was into movies and made sure we had a good collection of video tapes. He was a big advocate of Sony's Betamax.

 

For some reason we ended up watching “Grease.” I think Ace liked it solely because of the scene at the end with Olivia Newton-John all dressed in leather. My favorite part is the scene where they show the three guys mooning the camera. Cute asses. As the movie went on the shrooms faded off completely and we drifted off to sleep.

 

I woke up at 4am and got up to go pee. I looked at the other guys, passed out, and thought about waking Childers up to see if he wanted to go crash in my room. Maybe finish what we started in the pool? But he was out, so I went back to my room alone, peed, and jacked off thinking about Doug, his grip on my cock, and the feel of his soft skin over his hard member. Then I went back to sleep.

 

I must have been in a really deep sleep, damn near a coma, because the first thing I heard the next morning was “BE-RAD!” as Lark yelled my name, followed by his big body slamming onto mine. I moaned and punched him, pushed him off of me and ran into my bathroom to puke. He followed me, seemingly oblivious to the fact that I was stark naked.

 

“Sorry, B, didn't mean to make you puke,” he said apologetically. I couldn't really stay mad at Lark; he was too good a friend and too nice a guy.

 

I finished tossing my cookies and just sat there gazing at the toilet as it flushed. “Not your fault Lark. I did some shrooms last night. They always make me feel like shit the next day.” He stood there watching me, making me nervous. “Why don't you go grab something to eat while I take a shower? I'll meet you in the kitchen.” He nodded and headed out of my room while I showered and dressed.

 

I came into the kitchen to find a pretty tense scene. Dan was up, so we had our two feuding boys in the same room. “Come on Dan, time to head out,” Ace was saying. I watched Dan carefully as he left, telling him with my eyes to behave himself. He did.

 

That seemed to end the tension. We were munching on bacon and eggs when Doug came in. “Hey Childers, I didn't know you were here,” Lark said cheerfully. I didn't know he knew Doug. Doug had only gotten to Gunn last year. Come to think of it, I didn't know Doug that well either.

 

“I crashed here. Where's Ace and Dan?”

 

“Dan was being an asshole so they left.”

 

“Can you give me a ride home?” he asked.

 

“Sure thing. Let me get ready to go, and then we'll drop you off on the way.”

 

“Where are you guys going?” he asked.

 

“Surfing. Wanna come?” Lark asked.

 

Doug looked at me for permission, not wanting to impose. “Do you surf?” I asked.

 

“Hell yeah. I got my board at home.”

 

“Awesome,” said Lark.

 

“You got any plans for the next few days?” I asked him.

 

“No, why?”

 

“Well,” I explained, “we were going to stay at the beach for the next few days. My parents have a house in Santa Cruz. If that works for you, we can all drive together.”

 

That got a big smile. This guy was really cute. I wondered if he'd be interested in finishing what we started in the pool last night. “Sounds good to me. I'm ready when you are,” he said simply.

 

Doug lived in a section of newer homes not too far off of I-280. We pulled up in my Jeep just as his mother was leaving in her Mercedes. She stopped to chew Doug out for being gone all night.

 

He was adept at changing the subject. “Mom, these are friends of mine.” I realized that he probably didn't really know our full names so, to save my new friend, I swallowed my discomfort and stepped forward.

 

“I'm Brad Schluter, and this is Mark Clark.” I shook her hand while she looked at me, obviously trying to decide if I was a delinquent.

 

“Do you boys go to school with Dougie?” she asked. Lark giggled. Dougie. Good luck living that one down.

 

“Uh, yeah. We both go to Gunn too.”

 

“Do you live around here?” she asked.

 

I ignored Lark, who hated dealing with parents. “I live on the hill over there,” I said, pointing in the direction of Escorial.

 

“He lives in that monster house on the hill,” Doug interjected. “He invited me to go surfing with them at the beach.”

 

I recognized Doug's mother, or at least her type, right away. She was the kind of woman who was very concerned about knowing and being seen with the ‘right’ people. “That's a lovely home. I should stop by and meet your mother some time.”

 

“Yes ma'am,” I said politely. I wanted so badly to add “and you can meet my father and his boyfriend too,” but I didn't.

 

“When will you be home?” she asked Doug.

 

“My parents have a house on the beach, so we were going to stay there for a few days, if that's alright with you?” Lark was snickering because I was doing a major job of overcoming my shyness and really pouring on the manners. Snicker all you want Lark, I thought. This kid has a nice dick and I actually got to touch it.

       

“Well, I suppose that would be alright.” I saw her weighing concern with her son against her social climbing tendencies.

 

“I'll leave the phone number for you ma'am,” I said politely, “both for the beach house and for my parents.”

 

“That sounds wonderful Brad. It was nice to meet you both.” She got into her car and continued on her way. We grabbed Doug's board and crammed it into the Jeep while he threw some clothes together. His wetsuit was hanging on his board. It looked like it had gotten a lot of use. I wondered if he was any good. We'd find out soon enough.