A Different Love - 9. Chapter 9

It had just turned seven forty five when Connor walked in the door. He spotted me straight away and a smile lit up his face as he flopped down on the bench seat beside me, breathing heavily.

“Phew, made it at last! Sorry I’m late Jason”

“Don’t worry about it Connor. You’re here now, that’s the most important thing”

He smiled at me gratefully and I drained my glass and stood up. “What can I get you to drink?”

“Oh, I’ll have a pint of lager please”

Liz clearly hadn’t taken her eyes off him since he’d arrived and as I approached the bar she tutted and shook her head.

“I don’t know Jason, it’s not fair. Why are all the best looking ones gay?”

I glanced at her in mock puzzlement as if I didn’t understand what she meant. As soon as she saw the underlying look of amusement on my face, she slapped my arm lightly and sighed reproachfully.

“You know exactly what I mean!” she whispered “He’s absolutely gorgeous!”

“Sorry Liz, he’s spoken for. And even if he wasn’t....”

“I know, I know...” she sighed, shaking her head in resignation “He wouldn’t be interested anyway!”

She began to get the drinks and I turned around and gazed at him, realising how nervous I still felt. He was wearing tight jeans and a black leather jacket and as he stood up to take it off, I gazed at him in awe. His t-shirt slowly rode up, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of his naked midriff, tightly hugged by the elasticated waistband of his designer underwear. It was an incredibly erotic sight and the beginnings of an erection pushed against the front of my jeans.

Liz coughed loudly in an attempt to gain my attention and I handed her the money in a trance, reluctant to tear my eyes away from Connor.

“Go on, off you go, he’s waiting!” she laughed, cutting through my thoughts “And Jason, put your tongue back in your mouth, I’ve already cleaned the floor!”

“Don’t know what you mean!” I giggled nervously, flushing slightly.

“No, of course you don’t” she said, shaking her head in amusement.

When I returned to the table with the drinks, Connor had relaxed somewhat and was smoking a cigarette. As I set them down on the table and sat down beside him he offered me the open packet and I nervously took one. My hands were still shaking slightly and with a furtive glance around the pub to check that no one was watching, he took one of my hands in his and held it gently between us. His simple act of affection immediately made me feel more at ease and I sighed and closed my eyes, savouring the moment of close contact.

“Relax Jason. There’s nothing to worry about!”

“I know Connor, I’m really sorry. It’s just that I’m not used to this sort of thing”

“No need to be sorry Jason! Are you ok in here, or do you want to go somewhere else?”

“No no, I’m fine now” I reassured him, self consciously removing my hand.

“You look great anyway” he remarked with a smile, eyeing me up and down “Love the shirt!”

I coloured up slightly, totally unused to being complimented on my appearance by another guy, but nevertheless extremely flattered by his remarks. I quickly returned his compliment with a shy smile.

“Thanks Connor. You don’t look so bad yourself!”

It was the perfect excuse and my eyes wandered up and down his body admiringly, hovering just a little too long over the area between his legs. He shifted slightly and I quickly averted my gaze, wishing that I hadn’t made it quite so obvious. When I glanced at him again, the slightly amused expression on his face made me instantly aware that he knew exactly where my eyes had rested and I flushed slightly with embarrassment. Coughing nervously and hastily breaking eye contact, I hurriedly continued talking in an attempt to hide my discomfort.

“Nice jacket!” I remarked, touching the shiny black leather “I’ve always wanted one of those”

“My parents bought it for my birthday last month, but I’ve been keeping it for a special occasion” he explained.

“Ah! So this occasion’s special enough is it?” I teased him.

The smile that lit up his face was infectious and I couldn’t help grinning back at him

“Yeah, of course it is! I’ve been looking forward to seeing you all week Jason”

“Yeah, me too Connor”

“I can’t believe I was late for our first date though” he continued, shaking his head in disbelief. “Bet you thought I wasn’t going to make it?”

My stomach lurched at his use of the word ‘first’. At least it meant he must see me as more than just a casual fling.

“Course I thought you’d make it!” I insisted, even though serious doubts had entered my head before I’d read his text.

“I had a phone call just as I was leaving my flat” he explained “Mum’s quite ill and I was worried it might be dad ringing to say that something had happened to her”

“I’m really sorry Connor, that’s awful. I hope she’s going to be alright”

His expression immediately told me that she probably wasn’t and his eyes glistened with the threat of tears. There was an awkward pause before he quickly regained his composure and carried on.

“It was mum herself!” he exclaimed and his face brightened considerably. “She seemed to be a bit better so we talked for quite a while. I couldn’t just cut her off Jason. Not under the circumstances”

“Off course you couldn’t!” I agreed, rubbing his arm encouragingly “And I wouldn’t want you to either”

I could tell by the look on his face that he was grateful for the way I’d responded and he smiled at me in appreciation.

“Do they live here in Hamborough?”

“Oh no” he exclaimed “They live in Ireland”

“Ah, I didn’t realize you came from Ireland Connor?”

“No, I don’t. Mum and Dad are both Irish, but I was born in London” he explained “Dad’s been working in London for years but when his work eventually finished there and mum became ill, they went home again”

Now that I thought about it there was a slight Irish lilt in his voice, but it was hard to pick out from his well rounded accent. Although I didn’t want to be perceived as nosy, he must have noticed the slight look of puzzlement that shadowed my face and guessed what I was thinking.

“I suppose you’re wondering how I come to be in Hamborough” he asked with a faint smile.

“Well yeah, I was actually”

“I’ve been here for a while now. Gave up a good job in London to come here though” He added wistfully.

Before my mouth even had a chance to form the word why, he pre-empted my next question and with a faraway look in his eyes, began to explain.

“His name was Ben! We met when he was working on some renovations at the club I managed in London. He was pretty fit I can tell you” he added with a wry smile “All those builders’ muscles and the cutest backside.....”

He stopped his description abruptly as my eyes widened in surprise and after a short pause he continued without going into any further detail about Ben.

“Anyway, the long and short of it was that I thought we were in love and when the job was over, I followed him back to Hamborough”

He gave a deep sigh and shook his head sadly “Big mistake though! It didn’t work out, as you’ve probably realised”

He was obviously still extremely cut up about it and I thought it best not to ask any further questions.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned it” he went on with a nervous laugh “It’s a sure fire way to ruin a new relationship, talking about ex’s”

I couldn’t help feeling extremely sorry for him and suddenly had an overwhelming urge to kiss him. Throwing caution to the wind, I leant over and wrapped my hand around the back of his neck. There was zero resistance as I pulled him towards me and pushed my lips urgently against his.

Within seconds I was regretting my impulsive behaviour and hurriedly released him, anxiously sweeping my eyes around the room to see if anyone had noticed. Luckily, the few people nearby were congregated around the bar facing the other way and the only person who appeared to have noticed was Liz, who was facing us. She frowned slightly and shook her head to warn me not to be so careless, and I was reminded once again that it was completely unacceptable for gay couples to show their affection in public. The look of astonishment on Connor’s face made it worthwhile though and I realised that kissing him made me feel on top of the world.

“What was that for!” he exclaimed “Not that I minded of course”

“Oh I don’t know, you just seemed so down. As if you needed cheering up”

“I’ve got some really, really sad stories I could tell you” he went on, trying to hide a smile “But they’re worth much more than just a kiss….”

“Yeah, I bet they are” I said, raising my eyebrows “But you’ll just have to keep them for another time”

The look of mock disappointment on his face made me laugh, but his remarks made every nerve end in my body tingle, reminding me of all the things I was aching to do to him. Instead, I forced myself to concentrate on the present, quickly posing another question.

“Would you ever go back to London, Connor?” I asked, suddenly worried that he might up and disappear.

“No, I don’t think so” he replied thoughtfully “Almost moved to Ireland last month though!”

“Really!”

“Yeah. I had a job offer to manage a club in Belfast, but it fell through at the last moment”

“Aw, that’s a shame”

“Yeah it would have been ideal really. Near mum and everything! I was really looking forward to it”

“Any idea why it fell through?”

“Oh Daniel, the guy that I used to work for in London was opening a new club. He wanted me to manage it for him, but all sorts of things were going wrong, so he decided to manage it himself for a while”

“So there might still be a chance he could ask you again when things settle down?”

“Well yeah, I suppose it’s a possibility”

I wasn’t quite sure what this latest revelation would mean to our relationship. If there was a real chance he might not be around for long, was it really worth getting close to him, only to find out that in a few weeks time he might disappear out of my life forever. Gazing at the look of anxiety on his face, I could tell that he knew exactly what I was thinking and I decided there and then it was a chance that was definitely worth taking. My dream of a permanent boyfriend seemed as far away as ever, but if I didn’t at least try with Connor, how could I even begin to make it come true?

“We’d better make the most of it then” I said after a second or two, smiling at him encouragingly.

My heart soared as his face lit up with relief, only to descend into an anxious frown a second or two later. “I was hoping you’d feel that way……….but there’s one more thing we should talk about first”

There was a slight pause as I looked at him expectantly and for a second or two I thought he was going to blurt out that he already had a boyfriend. Instead he bit his lip nervously and my heart began to beat faster as I waited for him to begin.

“The thing is Jason, you do realise that I’m older than you, but ….well… like I said before, I really like you”

I’d never even considered his age to be important before, but it was clearly something that concerned him quite a lot.

”It doesn’t matter does it?” he continued, as his worried look intensified “The age difference I mean”

“To be quite honest Connor, I’d never really thought about it” I replied, shaking my head “You’re not that much older than me anyway, are you?”

He gazed at me with a reluctant expression on his face and for a moment or two I didn’t think he was going to answer. Finally, with a sigh of resignation, he responded to my question with another. “So go on then Jason, how old do you think I am?”

I shrugged my shoulders and gave him a sidelong glance, fully aware that guessing ages was not one of my strong points. “Oh I don’t know Connor…..21, 22 maybe?”

He gave a small laugh and his eyes opened wide in surprise. “I’m almost 26 Jason!”

His admission caught me completely off guard and I found it hard to hide my astonishment. I’d expected to be out by a couple of years, or possibly three, but I definitely didn’t think he was as old as that. I was just over 18 years old, so there was almost an eight year age gap between us. At the end of the day though, what difference did it make? I still found him incredibly attractive and wasn’t about to let something like this come between us.

“Oh, ok!” I exclaimed, unsure how to respond “I didn’t realise you were….I mean you don’t look……”

My voice trailed away and he stared at me with that same worried look on his face. “I’m sure there’s a compliment in there somewhere” he laughed nervously.

I quickly regained my composure and rushed in to reassure him “Connor, you’re age doesn’t matter to me! I like you a lot too and I don’t think the age difference should stop us being together”

“It’s just that I thought maybe you’d prefer someone nearer to your own age?”

My answer had clearly failed to register and he carried on, clearly trying to give me a way out. “It’s ok Jason, really! If it’s a problem and you don’t want to see me again, I’ll understand”

As much as he protested I could tell that it was the last thing he wanted and I put my finger on his lips to silence him, quickly repeating my previous reassurance. “Connor!!”

“What?”

“I said it doesn’t matter. I don’t care how old you are!”

The look on his face was one of pure relief when it finally sank in that it wasn’t going to be an issue and a wide smile lit up his face. “Really?”

“Yeah, really! Now stop worrying about it”

He drained his glass and reached across the table for mine. “So you’ll come out with me again then?” he asked with an air of hopeful anticipation.

It was a no brainer and my stomach was turning somersaults as I readily agreed

“Yeah, of course I will!”

As he made to stand up, I did what I’d been longing to do ever since he arrived and stroked his inner thigh with my hand, winking at him seductively “Just try and stop me!”

He winked back and his voice was loaded with innuendo as he raised his eyebrows and answered me in a low voice.

“I’d never stop you doing anything Jason…….especially to me!”

The last few words were uttered in barely more than a whisper, but I still heard them as he’d fully intended me to and my stomach churned with desire.

Liz immediately left the group of people she’d been talking to when she saw Connor approaching the bar and it seemed almost as though she pounced on him. I could see the expression on her face as she spoke to him and wondered what on earth they were talking about. It definitely involved more than just ordering a drink though and as she nodded her head towards me it only confirmed the subject of their conversation.

Connor’s face was slightly flushed when he returned to the table and as he sat down, I gazed at him enquiringly.

“What was all that about?”

“That barmaids a bit forward, isn’t she?” he exclaimed indignantly “I’ve just been given the third degree!”

“Why? What did she say?”

I glanced across the room towards the bar and struggled to keep the amusement out of my voice as I began to have a sneaking suspicion what she’d said to him.

“Basically she told me that I’d better look after you. Or else!”

The look of anxious bewilderment in his eyes was incredibly endearing and I couldn’t help feeling slightly guilty for wanting to laugh. In an attempt to make him feel better, I slid my hand under the table and began softly caressing his leg.

“Just ignore her Connor. I don’t think she means any harm”

“As if I’m not going to take care of you”

He smiled at me provocatively and I couldn’t help grasping his leg and sliding my hand slowly towards his inner thigh again. I was instantly reminded of the night in the cinema when Lucy Collins had caressed my leg, but this time I knew the conclusion would be very different. My heart began to race as my hand took on a life of its own and slowly grew nearer and nearer its prize. There was no way I could stop what was about to happen and my hand shook with anticipation. The first indication that he seemed to have a growing erection came when the side of my hand brushed against his crotch. This was the point where Lucy’s hand had instantly veered away all those years ago, but the experience was still as fresh in my mind as if it were yesterday. This time, however, it was my hand that felt the warmth of his flesh pulsating through the material of his jeans and as my fingers spread out and gently encased the large mound between his legs, I could feel the row of protruding buttons on his jeans just begging to be snapped open. It was neither the time nor the place though, but I still couldn’t stop myself from gently moulding the shape of his hardness in the palm of my hand. It was an incredibly sensuous feeling that I didn’t want to end, but the sudden shattering sound of braking glass made the decision for me. My hand banged sharply on the metal underside of the table in my haste to withdraw it and the sharp stab of pain that followed momentarily took my breath away. Beer poured towards the edge of the table and began steadily dripping onto Connor’s jeans before he swiftly moved to one side.

“Damn!!” he cursed, stating the obvious “Knocked my beer over”

As he tentatively began putting shards of broken glass into what remained of his pint, Liz suddenly appeared with a cloth and tutting loudly to herself, began wiping the table.

“Be careful Mr. Clumsy, you’ll cut yourself” she said, scolding Nathan

“I’m sorry; it just sort of slipped out of my hand”

I almost choked into my beer as I thought how appropriate his remark was and I couldn’t stop myself from making a comment that was loaded with innuendo. “You should keep your fingers tightly around it Connor!”

Liz frowned at me slightly and Connor surreptitiously nudged me in the ribs as he fought to keep the smile off his face. She knew nothing about what had happened under the table of course and immediately thought that Connor was laughing at her.

“It’s not funny you know. You need to be more careful!”

“I know. I’m really sorry”

The breaking glass had momentarily pushed the details of what had just happened to the back of my mind, but seconds later the reality came rushing back with a vengeance. It was hard to believe that a short while ago I’d been fondling the most intimate part of Connor’s body, albeit through his clothing. Although I’d impressed upon him the need to take things slowly, the explosion of emotions and euphoria that the experience had ignited were impossible to ignore and I was hungry, yet at the same time still terrified, to take things further. Liz’s insistent question broke through my thoughts and quickly brought me back to reality.

“What have you done to your hand Jason” she was asking, gazing at me in puzzlement.

I glanced downwards and was shocked to see that the reddened skin around my knuckles was grazed and sore. I quickly tried to assure her that everything was fine in the hope she would go away and leave us alone.

“It’s nothing… really!” I insisted “Just banged it on the table”

In reality it was stinging like mad and I moved my fingers slowly up and down in a vain attempt to alleviate the pain. She stared at Connor accusingly as if somehow it had been his fault and with a final shake of her head, gathered up the broken glass and was gone.

“What is it with her Jason, she doesn’t seem to like me at all?”

“I’m sorry Connor. She seems to think I need protecting for some reason”

“But how does she even know your name” he added as an afterthought “I thought you said that you’d only been in this place once or twice”

“Well yeah, I did, but…well….I've actually being in here a few more times than that”

His eyes widened in surprise and I quickly explained to him about all the times I’d sat in the corner, enviously watching the comings and goings across the road and how Liz had finally encouraged me to go in.

“I suppose I ought to thank her really then” he mused, after mulling over what I’d said “If she hadn’t encouraged you to come into the bar, we might never have met one another”

“Yeah, that’s true”

I gazed at him impatiently, desperately wanting to talk about what I’d just done “But never mind all that now Connor, I can’t believe what just happened!”

“It was only a glass breaking Jason”

“Not that!” I laughed, nudging him in the ribs “You know exactly what I mean”

He smiled at my excitement and nodded downwards towards his legs “Oh, you mean that!”

“Of course I mean that!”

“You obviously can’t keep your hands off me Jason” he laughed “And I thought you wanted to take things slowly!”

I shook my head, desperately trying to make sense of my confused feelings “I did! I mean…….I do, but I finding it really hard!”

“You and me both!”

He smiled at my confusion and I quickly interrupted him before he could respond. “Is that what made you drop the glass?”

“Yeah, it was just a shock, that’s all! I didn't expect you to go that far”

My face fell and he rushed in to reassure me “A nice shock though” he added hastily “You can do that whenever you want Jason!”

“You enjoyed it then?”

“Course I did! It was awesome!”

Whatever we were about to say next was lost by the reappearance of Liz holding a pint of lager. She set it down in front of Connor and smiled at him for the first time. “There you go Connor, this is for you. On the house”

I smiled at the look of bewilderment on his face as he hurriedly mumbled his gratitude “Oh…erm… thanks, that’s really nice of you”

His expression quickly changed to one of alarm as she sat down beside him and he subconsciously shuffled towards me.

“So, are you two boys enjoying your evening?”

Connor was still staring at me with a look of wide eyed puzzlement on his face, obviously wondering why she’d suddenly had a change of attitude towards him, so I quickly answered for both of us.

“Yes thanks Liz, it’s been great”

As if she knew what he was thinking, her next words surprised him even more.

“Sorry I was a bit sharp with you earlier on Connor, but I just wanted to make sure you were looking after him”

“Don’t worry” he reassured her “I am”

He smiled at me and I nodded in agreement “He is”

“Good!” She exclaimed, obviously satisfied with his answer. “I’d best get on then”

I could almost hear Connor’s sigh of relief as she stood up to go. As soon as she was out of earshot I burst out laughing and nudged him in the ribs. “See, she likes you after all!”

“I wouldn’t like to think she hated me!” he retorted sarcastically “I can’t believe she wants to protect you that much though” he continued

“I think she might have developed a bit of a soft spot for me” I admitted in a quiet voice

“Yeah, but where is it Jason!”

I screwed up my face in horror “Urgh, don’t Connor. That's gross!”

He couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face as he struggled to hold back his laughter. “You and her haven’t by any chance been…erm…close, have you?”

“Connor, that’s disgusting!!!” I retorted “She’s old enough to be my mother!”

My indignant denial made him burst out laughing and he clapped me on the back “Only joking Jason. You should have seen your face though, it was a picture”

This was my third pint of beer and it was beginning to have an effect on me. I put my hand on his leg again and gazed at him dreamily. “Anyway there’s only one person I want to be close to right now and he’s sitting beside me!”

He smiled back and draped his arm along the back of the seat, lightly touching my shoulder “Well Jason Wright, I’m sure that can be arranged….”

The rest of the evening passed by in a flash and when I casually glanced at the clock, I was shocked to see that it was almost 10pm. Connor and I had been locked in conversation , discussing everything from our favourite television programs to the most alluring male designer underwear we’d ever seen. How on earth the last topic of conversation had come about I can’t remember, but by the time we’d moved on to yet another subject, a mental image of Connor in the briefest underwear possible had fixed itself in my mind.

The last bus to Dryford left the station at 10:30 pm and I gave a reluctant sigh, knowing that I had no choice but to catch it. “I’m gonna have to go in a bit Connor, my bus is due soon”

His face dropped with disappointment and I immediately felt guilty for ending the evening so abruptly.

“Sorry I’ve got to go so early, but it’s my last bus”

I put my hand on his forearm and squeezed it slightly “I’ve had an absolutely brilliant time though”

“It’s ok Jason, don’t worry about it” he said, smiling at my enthusiasm “There’s always next time!”

There was no point in rushing to drink another beer and if we went now it might just give us an opportunity to say a proper goodbye outside. Connor obviously had the same thought and a minute or two later his face brightened.

“Tell you what then” he exclaimed, draining the last of his beer “I’ll walk you to the bus station, if you like?”

I was thrilled that he wanted to accompany me as far as he could, but as usual I couldn’t stop myself from saying exactly the opposite of what I really wanted “There’s no need to go out of your way just for me Connor”

I held my breath, desperately hoping that he wouldn’t listen to me and change his mind. There was no need to worry though and he quickly dismissed my feeble objection with a wave of his hand.

“It’s ok Jason. I live on that side of town anyway”.

Whether he did or not, I wasn’t too sure, but his answer made my stomach tingle and I jumped slightly as his leg brushed against mine.

“Besides I want to!” he added with a perceptive smile.

“C’mon then, we’d better go”

“Won’t be a minute Jason, just want to go to the toilet”

Liz was nearby cleaning tables again and as I stood up to put my jacket on she came over to collect the empty glasses. “Going already Jason?”

“Yeah, got to get my last bus”

“Oh well, make sure you enjoy the rest of your evening”

Unfortunately, there wasn’t much of it left and I knew that in just over thirty minutes my bus would be leaving town.

“Thanks Liz. We’ve had a great time” I responded enthusiastically “Connor’s going to walk me to the bus station”

“Ah, I see” she said, tapping the side of her nose “Goodnight kiss eh!”

“Don’t know what you mean!” I quickly answered with a shy smile.

She grinned at me and shook her head “You never do Jason!”

“Thanks for being nice to Connor Liz, it means a lot!”

I smiled at her gratefully and she gave me a quick peck on the cheek.

“Bye love” she said, before gently scolding me “And don’t leave it so long next time Mr!”

“I wish it could last longer this time” I answered wistfully.

From the morose tone of my reply she realized that I wasn’t very happy about leaving early and tried her best to reassure me

“Oh don’t worry love; I’m sure Connor will ask you out again”

“Yeah, hopefully he will”

I suddenly felt a hand on the small of my back as he returned to the table, obviously catching the tail end of our conversation. “Hopefully he will what?”

“Jason was just wondering if you were going to ask him out again” cut in Liz, making certain in her usual direct manner that the question was asked.

I half turned around with a smile on my face, confidently expecting a positive response from Connor. His reply came back quickly and was delivered with a completely deadpan expression on his face.

“Nah” he said, shaking his head “Don’t think I’ll bother”

My heart sank like a stone and I stared at his serious face in alarm “You don’t mean it…..do you?"

He struggled to keep a straight face and I only realized that Liz was in on the joke when the pair of them burst out laughing and I wondered how I could have been so stupid to fall for their teasing.

“Of course he doesn’t mean it Jason!” she gasped incredulously “Don’t you know a good guy when you see one”

“Connor!!!”

I heaved a huge sigh of relief before joining in with their laughter, but it was only then that the full realization of how much I really wanted to be with him began dawning on me. I gave them both a stern glance, unsuccessfully trying to keep the smile off my face “Right, I’m keeping you two apart from now on”

“Only joking Jason. But I expect to see you two in here again, together!!” she said, as we started heading for the door “And remember what I said, don’t leave it so long next time!”

We waved goodbye and left the room, laughing and pushing each other down the corridor towards the exit. Connor stopped suddenly in the doorway to fasten his jacket and I only just managed to avoid bumping into the back of him. I grasped both his hips to steady myself and he turned around with a smile on his face and quickly stole a kiss. I slapped his bottom with the palm of my hand, leaving it in place just a few seconds longer than was necessary.

.