A Different Love - 26. Chapter 26

We said our goodbyes and left by the front door, fully prepared for another battle with the elements. Thankfully the snow had eased to a thin flurry as we set off to catch the bus into town. The occasional car slowly passed by, their headlamps already glowing in the dull afternoon light. The main road was becoming wet with slush and a passing lorry sprayed the footpath, almost soaking our already damp shoes.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my dad owning Brown’s” said Nathan, as we approached the snow-covered village green

“It doesn’t matter. Really” I assured him “I’m sure you had your reasons”

He gave a small laugh of relief and gazed at me sheepishly “I just didn’t want you to think I was some kind of spoilt rich kid”

“Oh come on Nathan! I'd never have thought that. You’ve done nothing but help me ever since we met and I really appreciate that”

“Thanks Jase” he said, lightly rubbing my shoulder “That’s good of you to say”

“I mean it Nathan! You got me home and looked after me when I’d had far too much to drink last night and you even took the blame for the mess in the shop doorway”

“Oh, that was nothing Jase, I felt partly responsible anyway”

I’m sure he wouldn’t have felt so responsible if he’d known that the only reason I’d stayed in the pub drinking with him was because I couldn’t bear the thought of him leaving with some random girl.

“It wasn’t your fault” I argued “You didn’t have to go to all that trouble. So that proves you’re not spoilt. You were obviously thinking of me”

He shrugged his shoulders to dismiss my comments. “Yeah, but it’s different with you Jase” he said simply “We’re best friends!”

It seemed impossible to become best friends in the short time we’d known each other, yet his words sent a shiver of excitement down my spine as I realized how right he was. Genuine friends that were prepared to put each other first were hard to come by, but I instinctively knew that Nathan was one of them. Perhaps it was the fact that our fathers were close friends, or that we’d met before, but there definitely seemed to be some kind of bond between us.

A bus was just approaching the stop and we rushed to catch it, slipping and sliding on the hardened snow. I still hadn’t learnt my lesson from earlier in the week, that was for sure!

“Can I ask you something Nathan?” I said, as we sat down at the back of the bus slightly out of breath.

“Yeah, course you can, go ahead”

"Would you really have gone back home if you hadn’t met me?”

The now familiar mischievous grin spread across his face and he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly

“Well….I suppose it just might be a tiny part of the reason why I’m staying” he admitted. He put his thumb and forefinger together, leaving a miniscule gap to emphasise his meaning.

“Only a tiny bit mind!”

“Come on Nathan! Seriously I mean”

His grin disappeared, quickly replaced by a solemn, thoughtful look.

“Like I was saying to your mum and dad, it has been pretty lonely up here. Once the guys at work found out I was the boss’s son, they thought I was some kind of spy”

He shook his head in wonder. “Absolutely ridiculous! I told them who I was and why I was there straight away, but it didn’t seem to make any difference”

He seemed genuinely upset and now that I’d got to know him better, I could understand why. Nathan was a gregarious kind of guy who would hate the thought that people disliked him. I quickly tried to make him feel better.

“Oh well, they don’t know what they’re missing out on then, do they?” I said, lightly nudging his shoulder.

He smiled at me happily and sighed with relief, obviously grateful to have my support.

“All I can say is thank god I met you! I hated the thought of going back home again”

“It might have given you a chance to put things right with your father though” I reasoned

“You’ve got to be joking!” he exclaimed “Believe me, its best that there’s plenty of distance between us”

It was such a shame that he felt so much animosity towards his father, because despite the brave face he tried to put on, I could tell it was hurting him badly. As he lapsed into silence and became lost in thought, I stared out through the grime streaked windows of the bus as it sped through the countryside. The snow covered fields stretched as far as the eye could see, except for a small enclosure near the road that had obviously been cleared. Two horses huddled together forlornly in one corner and an old stone trough meant to provide drinking water stood in the opposite corner, its surface completely covered by an unbroken sheet of ice. I was still gazing out of the window when he nudged me playfully in the ribs. I turned back towards him and was happy to see a smile on his face.

“I was just thinking…..” he began.

“Careful!” I interrupted, before he had a chance to continue “You could hurt yourself”

He returned my grin and continued to talk, pretending not to hear me. “I was just thinking, what an amazing coincidence it is, the fact that we’ve met before!”

“I know! I can hardly believe it myself!” I answered incredulously “I almost fell off the chair with shock when dad told us”

He laughed at the dumbfounded expression on my face before continuing. “I’m really glad we’ve got the chance to get to know each other this time” he exclaimed “It’s as though it was meant to be somehow”

His words sent a shiver running up and down my spine, causing my fingers and toes to tingle with exhilaration.

“I know exactly what you mean!” I agreed eagerly “It sort of brings us closer together”

A growing sense of yearning to be a lot closer together welled up inside me, but I quickly dismissed such feelings as hopeless and absurd.

“That’s just how I feel as well Jason!”

I sub consciously moved slightly closer to him and slid my arm along the back of the seat behind him, struggling to fight the overwhelming urge to put my arm around him.

The bus arrived in town soon after and I slowly stood up, reluctant to abandon my close proximity to Nathan. The roads and footpaths in town were almost clear of snow as we alighted and crowds of Saturday afternoon shoppers thronged the busy high street. Brightly coloured Christmas lights were strung between the buildings, swinging to and fro in the cold winter breeze. As we entered the crowded market square, a local church choir sang carols around a brightly lit tree, zealously rattling their collection buckets. The wonderful aroma of roasting chestnuts and fried onions from a burger van hung in the air and Nathan turned towards me, lightly touching my arm.

“Are you hungry Jase?” he asked, blowing warm air into his cupped hands.

As soon as he mentioned it pangs of hunger began to attack my stomach and I responded with an enthusiastic yes. Because of my earlier nausea and sickness, I hadn’t eaten anything so far today and now I was ready for something much more substantial.

“Come on then, let’s go find somewhere to eat” he urged, looking up and down the street.

A few shops further on we found a café. The windows were all steamed up and as we went in the appetizing smell of food cooking made us even hungrier. It was almost full, but we managed to find a table near the counter and sat down in the brown leatherette chairs. Nathan reached for the small laminated menu at the end of the table and began running his finger up and down the list of food, frowning as he tried to decide what to have.

"It all looks so nice Jase" he said, handing it to me "I don’t know what to order"

"Me neither" I agreed, after perusing it for a short while. "I like everything on there"

A couple of minutes later and we were still undecided, so I fished about in my pocket for a pen and handed it to Nathan.

"I know what to do! Close your eyes and stick the pen on the menu. Whatever it lands on we'll have"

He glanced at me to make sure I wasn't joking, before shaking his head in amusement.

"Very technical, I must say!"

Nevertheless he took the pen and made a great show of stabbing the menu, much to the amusement of several onlookers sitting nearby.

"All day breakfast!" he announced, with a wide grin.

"Brilliant, I'll go order it. What do you want to drink Nathan?"

"Ooh, something warm please. I’ll have tea. "Here, take some money" he offered, reaching for his wallet.

"No, I'll get this Nathan" I said, firmly "You paid last night"

After all the beer I'd drunk the previous evening, there was no way I was letting him pay again. So much so, that I'd taken the unusual step of lending some money off mum until payday next week, and I quickly made my way to the counter to order the food before he could stop me.

In what seemed like no time at all a waitress suddenly appeared at our table with a tray full of food. She gazed at Nathan admiringly and I almost stood up and shouted out loud ‘Hands off, he's mine!!!’ I didn't of course, and he glanced back at her innocently, fully aware of her obvious interest. With a lingering glance she reluctantly left the table and for the next few minutes there was silence as we tucked into the food, both appreciating how good it was.

Finally, Nathan pushed his empty plate aside and leant back in his chair with a sigh of satisfaction.

"That was so good!" he enthused, licking his lips.

A moment later, I laid my own knife and fork down on the empty plate and wiped my mouth with a serviette

"Delicious! I exclaimed, readily agreeing with him "I feel really full now though"

"You need to walk it off then!" he laughed "What time is it anyway?"

For the umpteenth time I instinctively looked at my wrist, before realising my watch was no longer there. It immediately made me worry all over again how on earth I was going to replace it and I gazed at Nathan anxiously.

"I don't know how I'm going to afford another watch exactly like the one mum and dad bought me" I said frowning “It’ll be way too expensive!”

"Don't worry Jason, I've told you, I'll sort it out" he replied, touching my arm to reassure me. "The state your wrist's in at the moment you wouldn't be able to wear it anyway" he reasoned.

What he said was undeniably true, but I still couldn't stop the anxiety from clouding my mind.

"It's four o'clock" I said, only just noticing the large clock that hung on the wall behind him.

"We'd better get going if you've finished Jase. I think the garage closes about five"

We left the cafe shortly afterwards and headed along the high street. The garage was tucked away down a side street at the far end of town and by the time we got there it was dark. The street lamps cast an orange glow on the snow covered roof and a single set of footprints snaked their way inside. It was a smallish, red brick building with a tarmac covered front yard just visible in patches under the snow. Old enamel signs advertising engine oil and spare parts adorned the closed wooden doors and several cars stood in the yard, some with ‘For Sale' signs attached to their windscreens.

"There's mine" said Nathan, pointing to a small red two-door saloon, parked nearby.

"Looks in good condition" I remarked admiringly.

"Yeah, it's not bad for now"

At first glance the place appeared to be deserted, but on closer inspection dim lights were shining from the grime covered side windows.

"Come on Jase, there's a door down here somewhere" said Nathan, opening a small side gate in the fencing. We soon found it and Nathan knocked and opened it, allowing us both to enter.

"HELLO!" he shouted "ANYONE HERE?"

A good looking guy about my age, with short black hair and an oil streaked face came out of the office on the far side of the garage. Obviously the mechanic, he smiled and began taking off his overalls. "Thought you weren't coming Nathan" he said in a relieved voice "I was just about to go home"

"Sorry Matt, we're running a bit late" he apologized.

As he stood talking to Nathan my eyes travelled up and down his slim figure, automatically comparing his body to Nathan's. I quickly decided there was no comparison; Nathan was definitely more muscular and fit. As he glanced over at me, subconsciously feeling my stare, I blushed and quickly turned away, pretending to study the car on the ramp beside me. Nathan went into the office with him and returned a few minutes later, jingling a set of car keys in his hand. As we stepped outside, the mechanic followed us and locked the door behind him.

"Thanks Matt, take care"

"Yeah, you too Nathan"

With a cursory nod in my direction he walked to the end of the yard to open the big double gates. The snow was pushed into two long ridges as he swung them open and Nathan waved as he slowly drove through. It was freezing cold in the car and I rubbed my hands together, placing them between my knees in a bid to keep warm. Nathan glanced towards me and turned the heater up to full power.

"Don't worry Jase, it'll soon warm up!"

I smiled at him gratefully and he turned his attention back to negotiating his way carefully down the narrow street.

I waited a while and then in an innocent voice, tentatively asked him a question I was longing to know the answer too.

“So...erm.....how do you know Matt at the garage?”

“Oh, one of the guys at work recommended him”

It was on the tip of my tongue to remind him he’d said that all of the guys at work were unfriendly, but at the last moment, I stopped myself. Until I met Nathan, I didn’t even realise I possessed such a jealous streak! I really would have to fight to keep it under control, I thought to myself.

"I’ll take you home if you like Jase" he was saying, as we approached the junction with the main road.

"You don’t have to; I can get the bus"

"Nonsense” he exclaimed “Next stop Dryford!"

He turned left and by the time we stood waiting for the traffic lights to change in town, the heater had begun to kick in.

"That's better" he said, giving an involuntary shiver "It's warming up now"

I could feel the hot air beginning to swirl around my legs as he said it and I sank back in the comfortable seat, gazing at him admiringly as he shifted the car into first gear. I wished that I could reach out and put my hand on top of his, helping him glide slowly through the gears.

We soon reached Dryford and Nathan pulled up outside my front gate.

"Here we are then Jase" he exclaimed "Home sweet home!"

The last thing I wanted to do was get out of the car. The warmth and close proximity to Nathan had nurtured a deep feeling of intimacy that I was loath to relinquish. His subtle aftershave was overwhelmingly intoxicating and I could've sat there forever. I knew leaving the car was inevitable though, so I yawned loudly and stretched, unfastening my seat belt as slowly as possible.

"Tired?" he asked

“Yeah, just a bit. I didn't sleep very well last night"

He smiled and raised his eyebrows slightly. "I wonder why!" he joked as a wide grin spread across his face.

"Yeah, I've been trying to work that one out myself!" I said, grinning back. "The thing is Naith, it was worth it. I've really enjoyed spending time with you"

"Yeah, me too" he answered "Best time I've had in ages!"

"So are you're still coming for lunch tomorrow then?" I asked him eagerly

"Yeah of course! I wouldn't miss it for the world"

"That’s great! We usually eat about 12, so just come round when you're ready"

"Ok, that's brilliant"

He hesitated slightly before continuing, afraid that he might receive a negative answer.

"Look Jase, just say no if you're busy....but....erm....do you want to do something tomorrow maybe, you know, after lunch?"

There was no such hesitation in my answer and I readily agreed.

"Yeah sure, but what can we do in this weather?"

"What about going to the cinema" he suggested "I'm sure there'll be something on worth watching"

My heart skipped a beat at the thought of sitting close to him in the dark cinema. Not since my 'date' with Lucy Collins back in my schooldays had I shared such an intimate experience in a cinema. Of course, this time there would be no hesitant fumbling's or tentative touching, but even so, I'm sure my over active imagination would manage to compensate for that, however inadequately.

"Yeah, I'd like that Nathan. Thank you"

I couldn't put off the inevitable any longer and a cold draught swirled around my legs as I reluctantly opened the door.

"See you tomorrow then Jase" he said with a warm smile on his face.

"See you tomorrow Naith, take care"

I got out and shut the door and he drove slowly to the end of the cul-de-sac before turning the car around. He slowed and briefly beeped the horn as he passed me and I waved at him, watching his car until it slowly disappeared out of sight around the corner.

 

It was Sunday morning and I was reading a magazine in my bedroom, waiting for Nathan to arrive for lunch. When I say reading I was merely skimming through the pages of semi naked men with one eye on the clock, watching it crawl slowly past 11:30. I'd told him that we usually ate around 12pm but to come around whenever he was ready.

There was a sudden knock on the front door and I jumped up, checking my hair in the mirror for the umpteenth time. Knowing that mum was in the kitchen and would expect me to answer it, I took several deep breaths before heading to the door. Nathan was just about to knock a second time as I opened it and he greeted me with a wide smile. The familiar feeling of excitement welled up inside me as my eyes surreptitiously swept up and down him and I eagerly stepped back, allowing him to enter.

"Come in Naith" I urged him.

I took his coat and hung it up on a peg with the others, at the same time noting his crisp white shirt and black trousers.

"Whoa! You look smart!"

"I like to make an effort" he replied, obviously pleased with the complement.

At that moment mum emerged from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a tea towel and I couldn't help stating the obvious. "Nathan's here mum"

“Hello love, it’s really nice to see you again"

"Thank you Mrs. Wright. Something smell's good!"

"I hope you're hungry Nathan?"

"Oh don't worry, I am" he replied enthusiastically, rubbing his stomach to emphasise the fact.

"Can I do anything to help mum?"

"No it's ok love; I've just finished setting the table. Your dad's having a nap so if you want to go into your bedroom I'll give you a shout when it's ready"

"Ok mum"

Knowing that mum preferred the kitchen to herself when she was cooking, I ushered Nathan down the hallway into my bedroom.

"Sit down" I said, indicating the chair.

I laid down full length on the bed and propped myself up on my elbows, gazing at him admiringly.

"I walked past the cinema last night Jase to find out what’s on"

My interest was immediately aroused and I gazed at him eagerly.

"Oh ok. Anything interesting?"

"There’s a James Bond film on? The World is not enough. Don’t know if you’ve seen it"

His questioning tone of voice told me that he wasn't sure if I'd be interested or not, but I readily agreed.

"No, I haven’t seen that one. It's my last weekend off before Christmas, so we ought to do something whilst we've still got the chance"

His face lit up with delight, obviously receiving the response he'd been hoping for.

"Aw that's brilliant Jase. We'll go see it then"

If he knew how much I wanted to go he wouldn't even have asked. If it meant sitting close to him in the dark cinema it didn't matter to me if it was the worst film in the world as long as we were there together.

"I wasn't sure if you'd want to go or not" he admitted.

"Definitely! I love spending time with you" I exclaimed "Why wouldn't I want to go?"

His eyes widened slightly and I realised that my enthusiastic response had been a tad over the top. Like me he seemed to want a full on friendship, but I couldn't help thinking what would happen if he found a more permanent girlfriend. Would he simply drop me and spend all his time with her, leaving me hurt and incredibly jealous, or would he still want to spend time with me, albeit a lot less. All I knew was that sometimes you just had to go with your instincts and although I hadn't known him very long, I had a feeling that our friendship was as important to him as it was to me. Before he had a chance to respond to my slightly over the top reaction, I tried to play down my enthusiasm by revealing at least a part of the truth.

"The thing is Naith, you've become my friend. If I'm being honest, my only friend, and I'd rather spend time with you than sit here on my own. It gets kinda lonely sometimes"

He seemed to accept my explanation for what it was and nodded his head dejectedly.

"I know what you mean!"

I frowned slightly, unable to believe that someone like Nathan could ever be alone.

"Why, what’s the matter?"

"Oh, it's just that I'll be spending Christmas alone this year"

I gazed at him in amazement. It was beyond my comprehension how anyone wouldn’t want to spend the holiday with their parents. It was obviously incredibly naive of me to think it was the same for everyone.

"You're not going home then?"

"No, my parents are going abroad to visit my grandparents this year so I'll be sat twiddling my thumbs alone. I've got two choices really" he went on, laughing mirthlessly "I can stay here on my own or go back home and stay there on my own!"

He stared at me dejectedly "I never thought I'd say this, but I think I'd rather be at work"

"I take it you didn’t want to go with them then?" I asked, already suspecting what his answer might be.

"You must be joking!" he exclaimed "I couldn't spend two weeks with dad. We'd just end up fighting the whole time and spoil everything"

I gazed at him sadly. "Unfortunately, I'm only off on Christmas day, but we can spend some time together then" I suggested, hoping to make him feel better

"No it's ok Jase, don't worry. You'll be spending the day with your family. I don't want to intrude"

An idea was already forming in the back of my mind, but I didn't want to say anything until I'd spoken to mum and dad. I hated the thought of him spending Christmas day alone and absent mindedly wondered if his parents felt the same way. At that moment mum called from down the hallway.

"Jason, Nathan. Lunch is ready!”

"Ok mum, coming!" I called back.

As I lifted myself off the bed, a corner of the gay magazine I'd been looking at earlier on caught my eye and I froze with horror. It was protruding from a gap underneath the wardrobe where I'd hurriedly stuffed it before letting Nathan in and I'd obviously not pushed it far enough underneath. I'd been buying it in the city every month for a couple of years now and I normally kept it well hidden underneath the wardrobe. After I finished reading it I'd dump it in a bin on the way to work, so nobody would know. I could’ve kicked myself for being so careless and I tried to avoid looking at it so that Nathan wouldn't follow my line of vision. It was too late though, he'd seen it. As I kicked it further underneath he laughed, nudging my arm suggestively.

"Stash of dirty magazines under the wardrobe eh?"

My face turned a deep shade of red and I could feel it burning under his gaze. I didn't trust myself to speak and giving him an innocent 'I don't know what you mean look', quickly ushered him out of the room. I was slightly relieved that at least he couldn’t have seen what kind of magazine it was.

By the time we entered the lounge dad had woken up from his nap and he greeted Nathan warmly "Now then son, how are you?"

"I'm fine Mr. Wright, how about you?"

"Oh not too bad, you know"

"Can you help your dad to the table, Jason" said mum, coming in from the kitchen with a jug of gravy.

"Yes, of course mum"

I gazed over at him in surprise. Normally dad ate his meals sitting by the fire in his chair. We had a small table on wheels that could be pushed over the arms of his chair so that he didn't have to get up. Today however, because we had a guest, he'd obviously insisted on sitting at the table. Nathan immediately reached for dad's sticks and helped me lift him out of the chair. We both supported him as he moved slowly towards the table.

"What would you like to drink? I asked, when they were both sitting down.

Nathan hesitated slightly before answering but dad was quick to respond.

"A beer please, son"

"Nathan?"

"Yeah, me too thanks"

Mum was busy carving slices of meat off a joint when I went through to the kitchen to get the drinks.

"Need any help mum?"

"Oh yes please love"

"Be back in a sec, I'll just take these through"

I carried the drinks into the lounge, rather precariously clasping the three bottles of beer from the fridge and three glasses in my hands. Nathan immediately rose to his feet to help me as I set them down on the table and I couldn't help wincing slightly as his hand accidentally brushed against my wrist. My face became slightly flushed and I quickly turned away before dad noticed.

"Just helping mum!" I called over my shoulder, before hastily disappearing back into the kitchen.

Mum had cooked roast beef, Yorkshire puddings and all the trimmings and after several trips between the lounge and kitchen, the dining table was soon laden with food. Our best China plates, used only on special occasions, held large slices of meat and crispy, golden Yorkshire puddings. Dishes of steaming vegetables lined the centre of the table and a jug of rich dark gravy stood to one side. Mum was an excellent cook and I glanced at her in puzzlement, vaguely wondering why she'd gone to so much trouble. She smiled at Nathan's wide eyed look of awe as he surveyed the food and quickly urged us to eat.

"Help yourselves lads!" she exclaimed "Tuck in"

No further encouragement was needed and we began hungrily filling our plates as if it was the last remaining food on earth. Because dad couldn't use one of his hands properly, mum filled his plate for him and began cutting his food into smaller pieces.

"Ok Nathan?" she asked, as she began eating her own meal a moment later.

"Delicious, Mrs. Wright!! I wish I could cook like this"

We fell silent whilst everyone concentrated on eating their lunch, but I couldn't help noticing that mum kept glancing across at Nathan, smiling at his obvious enjoyment of the food.

"That was delicious mum!" I remarked as the last of my food disappeared.

"I'll second that" agreed Nathan enthusiastically "It was absolutely gorgeous"

His use of the word gorgeous immediately made me think of Connor. That's what he'd called me on the night he'd first asked me out and I desperately wished that Nathan was using it to describe me and not the food.

"Help yourselves to some more boys" offered Mum, smiling happily.

Nathan immediately helped himself to more, obviously enjoying it immensely.

"I don't expect you get too many home cooked meals, living on your own Nathan?" mum asked a moment later

"You're right, I don't" he agreed ruefully "There doesn't seem to be much point in cooking for one"

"Oh I'm sure that'll all change once you settle down with a nice girl"

I rolled my eyeballs upwards in despair and glanced across at Nathan's bemused expression. Here we go again! Why was it that people always insisted on pairing you off, whatever the circumstances! Dad caught my slightly disgruntled expression and tactfully changed the subject, aware of my embarrassment.

"So what are you two up to today then?" He asked

"We thought we'd go to the cinema this afternoon, Mr. Wright" volunteered Nathan

"Anything good on?" he enquired

"There's a James Bond film on that neither of us has seen yet" I answered, smiling at Nathan.

"Your dad and I spent hours in the cinema together when we first met" mum cut in, smiling to herself as she recalled the memory.

I had a sudden overwhelming urge to laugh and failed miserably to hold it back.

"What's the matter Jason?" asked mum with a smile, already caught up by my infectious laughter.

"Wasn't that when everything was in black and white with no sound mum?

Her wide eyed expression of surprise only made me laugh all the more and I could see that Nathan was dying to join in.

"Eh cheeky" she spluttered indignantly. "We're not that old you know!"

"It wasn't so much that" chipped in dad, sharing our laughter "But the gas lights were never bright enough!"

We all laughed and when I glanced across at Nathan it was good to see that he was relaxed and happy. Our light hearted banter continued until mum began gathering the plates together.

"Anyone for pudding then?" she asked "Its apple pie and custard”

All three of us immediately said yes and I followed her into the kitchen to help.

Ten minutes later I pushed my chair away from the table, feeling decidedly full. It had been an awesome meal but I still couldn't understand why mum had gone to so much trouble. Even dad had decided to sit at the table and that in itself was highly unusual. Nevertheless, I was incredibly grateful that they'd made Nathan feel so welcome and for the fact that they seemed to like him as much as I did. The others were just finishing their pudding when mum asked him another question.

"Are you going home for Christmas this year Nathan?"

"Oh erm no Mrs Wright. I think I'll just stay up here in the flat this year" he replied, chewing his lower lip "Mum and dad are going abroad to see my grandparents, so there's really no point in going home"

"You mean you'll be on your own!" she gasped incredulously "But you can't spend Christmas alone"

"I don't really have a choice" he explained in a forlorn voice. "If I go back home the house will be empty anyway, so I might as well stay here"

I noticed mum and dad exchange sympathetic glances and it was obvious they were thinking the same thing.

"Why don't you come to us Nathan" suggested dad enthusiastically. "There's always plenty of food and I'm sure Jason would be happy to have someone his own age around"

I eagerly nodded my approval. "Course I would, that's a brilliant idea!"

"I couldn't Mr. Wright" Nathan protested, shaking his head. "Christmas is a time for families; I'd just be in the way"

"Nonsense lad" insisted dad firmly "We'd love to have you. Besides, you're the next best thing to family anyway"

"That's right Nathan" agreed mum "You'd be more than welcome to come here"

He remained silent for several seconds as a look of indecision clouded his face and my heart thudded in my chest, hoping against hope he would agree. Being Jim Brown's son obviously meant an awful lot to my parents and they gazed at him in silent anticipation. When he finally spoke I almost cheered out loud and couldn't keep the overwhelming smile of satisfaction off my face.

"Well if you're sure I wouldn't be in the way" he said anxiously "I'd love to"

"That's settled then" said dad "We'll look forward to it"

This was excellent news, I thought to myself. Better than I could ever have imagined. Once I knew he'd be on his own, I'd planned to ask mum and dad if he could spend the time with us anyway and now I didn't have to. It was the best Christmas present I could have hoped for!

A moment later Nathan pushed his chair back and stood up

"We'll do the washing up Mrs. Wright" he said, indicating for me to join him in the kitchen.

"You don't have to" protested mum "I can do it later"

"Yes, we do" he replied firmly "It's only fair after you've spent so long preparing that wonderful meal"

Mum smiled and gazed at Nathan gratefully "Oh well, if you put it like that"

We helped dad back into his chair and mum sat down in an armchair, turning on the television. Nathan and I began clearing the plates and dishes and when they were all finally in the kitchen, I closed the door, leaving mum and dad alone to relax. The draining board and surrounding work surface were filled with dirty pots, waiting to be washed. Nathan turned around and nodded towards my arm.

"How's your wrist Jason?"

"Still a bit sore" I said, gingerly drawing up the sleeve of my shirt to let him take a look.

The jagged scar that snaked its way along my wrist was looking decidedly better, but was still red and inflamed, and Nathan raised his eyebrows slightly.

"I'll wash and you'd better dry then" he said decisively. "You need to keep that wrist as dry as possible"

A pair of yellow plastic gloves hung over the taps and Nathan stretched them over his hands in a ridiculously exaggerated manner, as though he was a surgeon about to perform an operation. Steam soon began to rise off the hot water as the bowl gradually filled up and he squeezed far too much washing up liquid under the running tap. A mountain of bubbles began to form and I had a sudden overwhelming urge to play a joke on him. As he turned to one side to lift some pots into the water, I quickly scooped up a large handful of bubbles and standing behind him, carefully balanced them on top of his head. Amazingly, he continued to wash the pots, totally unaware of what I'd done and my stomach heaved as I desperately tried to stifle a fit of laughter. Every time he moved, the bubbles wavered precariously on top of his head and I thought that before long they were bound to fall off. As the draining board began to fill up with pots he obviously wondered why I hadn't begun to dry them and turned towards me impatiently.

"Come on Jase, no slacking!" he chided jokingly "There's plenty to dry"

As soon as he saw the expression on my face and realised I was desperately trying to stifle a laugh, he smiled and immediately demanded to know the reason why.

"What is is Jase?" he asked warily, shaking his head "What have you done?"

The bubbles began to wobble from side to side as he shook his head and I couldn't hold out any longer and burst into a fit of laughter, pointing to his head. "Just admiring your new hair style, that's all"

A small mirror hung on the far wall and the pile of bubbles on his head swung to and fro even more precariously as he walked over to it and gazed at his reflection. His face immediately creased into laughter and he grabbed some kitchen roll and began to wipe them off, making no attempt whatsoever at retaliation.

"You do realize you'll have to pay for that, don't you Jason" he warned with a mischievous grin.

I smiled nervously, wondering what he was going to do. We continued washing up and eventually a pile of dried pots and pans stood on the work surface.

"Why don't you put some of those away and I'll wipe the sink down" he suggested.

I bent down and began to put them away in the cupboard underneath the work surface, all the while keeping a wary eye on him in case he tried anything. Finally, all that remained to be put away were several plates kept on the top shelf of one of the wall cupboards. So far Nathan hadn't tried to get me back and I foolishly began to relax as I concentrated on putting the plates away, thinking his threat to retaliate was idle. As I stood on tiptoes to reach the highest shelf my T shirt rode up, momentarily exposing my naked midriff. Quick as a flash he scooped up a palm full of bubbles from the bowl and rubbed them against my bare stomach. I collapsed in shock against the work surface and Nathan stood with his back to the sink, helpless with laughter. Unfortunately in his haste to retaliate, bubbles were not all he'd scooped up and I gasped in shock as warm soapy water immediately ran down inside my underwear, causing small wet patches to appear on the front of my trousers.

"Bloody hell Nathan, I'm wet through" I exaggerated, unsure whether to laugh or frown.

"It's your own fault" he said, still laughing. "I told you I'd get you back"

He gazed at my indignant expression and unable to shake the wide grin that lit up his face, took a step closer to me. "Come here" he said, lifting up the front of my T shirt. He began patting the wet skin with the tea towel and for some inexplicable reason I was terrified at the sudden close contact between us and instinctively stepped back, hurriedly finding an excuse for my impulsive reaction.

"Nathan! The tea towels just as wet"

"Sorry Jase, I didn't realise I had quite as much water in my hand as that. Hang on a sec!"

He quickly tore a piece of kitchen roll off the dispenser and lifted my t-shirt once again. I was powerless to resist as he rubbed the paper gently all over my bare stomach and then ran the back of his hand over the exposed skin.

"There you go Jase, all dry again now."

His touch was like an electric shock coursing through my body and for a second or two I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. The indescribable feeling of desire made my heart race and a second or two later I realised I was holding my breath. My face had become flushed with embarrassment and I had to find an excuse to leave the room as quickly as possible. My words came out in a stutter as I pointed to the front of my trousers and struggled for words.

"I-I...erm...n-need to get out of these Naith.....the w-water....it's gone down, well you know...."

His face broke into laughter as he realised what I was trying to say and stepping forward slightly, he called out jokingly "If you need anyone to dry your....."

I scuttled out of the room like a frightened rabbit before he'd finished speaking and hurried down the hallway to my bedroom, attempting to change my trousers and underwear as quickly as possible. The massive erection his touch had caused me hampered my efforts, but the thought that he may well follow me down the hallway at any time was enough to spur me on. After a short while my breathing returned to normal and forcing myself to calm down, I checked my appearance in the mirror. Unfortunately my erection was taking considerably longer to wane and I couldn’t risk going back in my current state.

Suddenly thinking of earlier, I hurriedly retrieved the magazine from under the wardrobe and in a bout of panic stuffed it as far under my mattress as I could.

By this time my erection had begun to wane and when I returned to the kitchen he was standing in the same position with his back to the sink. His face brightened considerably as soon as he saw me

"Ok Jase? I thought you'd got lost!"

"No" I mumbled, unable to meet his steady gaze as it rested on the front of my trousers "Just needed the bathroom"

There was an awkward silence and keen to avoid any more questions, I nodded towards the door.

"Let's go for a cigarette" I suggested, fanning my flushed face "It's warm in here"

"Yeah ok"

"We'll have to go to the shed, mum won't let us smoke in the house"

Unhooking a key that hung by the mirror, I opened the back door and stepped outside, marvelling at the blank white canvas that was laid out before us. The garden was long and narrow with a path that snaked its way down to an old shed at the bottom. Today however, it was completely invisible. A soft blanket of snow covered everything, save for the footprints of a neighbour's cat, winding their way haphazardly down the garden. Nathan followed behind me as I made my way gingerly along where I thought the path should be and a short while later unlocked the shed, brushing away a frozen cobweb that covered one corner of the door. The shed was largely unused; it's main purpose these days being a sanctuary for me to smoke in on cold or rainy days. A cursory glance around proved this beyond all doubt and I reminded myself once again that it was long overdue for a clear out. An old net curtain covered the grimy window and dust swirled around in a shaft of winter sunlight shining through the glass. All manner of unwanted junk was piled at one side and a row of dirty jam jars, filled with nuts and bolts and assorted screws stood on a shelf opposite the door. I bent down and switched on an old heater, rubbing my hands together whilst waiting for the warm air to start circulating.

"Ah, so this is your secret hideaway is it Jase?" remarked Nathan, offering me a cigarette.

"Not really. It's just handy if it's cold or raining"

He nodded and turned his attention towards an old bicycle leaning up against the side wall.

"Is this yours?" he asked, grasping the handlebars firmly.

"Yeah, I used to cycle to school on it when we lived in Hamborough, but I don't use it much these days"

I offered him a light and as we stood smoking his thoughtful gaze returned to the bicycle.

"I might get a bike" he mused "It'll help me to keep fit"

"You look fit enough to me already" I answered absent mindedly, realising too late how it might sound.

My heart raced and I glanced away in horror, desperately hoping he wouldn’t pick up on it. It was a forlorn hope of course and he jumped on it immediately

"Whoa Jason!! I didn't know you felt that way about me"

My face was a mask of embarrassment and all I could do was attempt to splutter my way out of it.

“Nathan!! You.....know...I don’t mean it that way"

His face creased into laughter as he tied me up in knots.

"You mean you don't think I'm fit?

"No no, I do but......"

He couldn't hold the laughter in any longer and gave a huge guffaw.

"It's ok Jase. I'm only winding you up. I know exactly what you meant"

Turning away, I studied the wall intently before replying.

"Yeah, I knew that!" I retorted, suddenly angry with myself for blurting it out.

The anger clearly resonated in my voice and we both fell silent, neither one of us knowing what to say.

By now the shed had become quite warm and I opened the door a bit wider, thankful to have an excuse to change the subject.

“The only trouble is it gets a bit smoky in here” I said nervously, taking a deep draw on my cigarette.

A long plume of smoke curled around the door frame and disappeared upwards, taking with it several glowing embers of ash in the slight breeze that gently buffeted the shed. Nathan was looking at me thoughtfully as I stood aside to let him lean against the door.

"You don't seem to be the type of person I'd expect to smoke if you don't mind me saying Jase" he remarked after a while.

I raised my eyebrows slightly before responding to his assumption “I didn’t realize there was a type!”

“You know what I mean!”

I smiled to myself inwardly and marvelled at the kind of image that Nathan had formed of me, even though we’d only just met. He obviously thought I was some kind of innocent ‘nice boy’ living at home with his parents, desperately searching for a lasting relationship with an equally ‘nice girl’. If only he knew what I’d done with Connor!! For a split second I was tempted to smash the image he’d built up of me into smithereens with one short sentence. Frightened to do so at the last moment though, I decided instead to let him carry on with the illusion he’d created. I couldn’t resist, however, dangling a tiny carrot in front of him.

“You’d be surprised what type I am Nathan”

His interest was immediately aroused as I knew it would be and he responded excitedly “Tell me more Jase! I’m intrigued”

Now that I'd chickened out there was no way I was going do that and I could see the slight look of disappointment that clouded his face as he realized I had no intention of elaborating any further. Instead, I quickly returned to the subject of smoking before he asked any more questions

"Most days I wish I'd never started. It's bad for your health and far too expensive" I said ruefully. “The problem is, I enjoy it too much”

“There isn’t much point in trying to give up yet then” he replied “You’ll never do it!”

I’d already reached much the same conclusion some time ago and nodded my head in agreement.

"So when did you start?" he asked

"Oh, I was about 15, something like that. Still at school anyway” I began to explain “We lived in Hamborough at the time and this guy called Ben lived next door to us. I spent the whole of the school holidays with him that year”

I smiled and tapped the seat of my bike “We used to cycle to the local wood if the weather was fine. He smoked all the time and kept on at me to have one"

"So eventually you did"

"Yeah, biggest mistake of my life"

Even as I answered it was hard to stop the smile that spread across my face as I recalled our time in the woods and I secretly chuckled to myself.

“Back then I was so scared that someone might see us and tell my parents that we’d immediately dive into the bracken if we heard anyone coming”

“So he didn’t do you any favours then?”

The memory of exactly what we used to do in the bracken came flooding back and I had to silently disagree. Instead of answering him I quickly posed a question.

"So what about you Nathan, when did you start?"

"Oh a similar age, about 15 or 16. It always seemed so glamorous to smoke, made you look grown up. When I met my first girlfriend she smoked too, so I just started" he explained with a shrug of his shoulders.

I felt an immediate pang of jealousy at the mention of a girlfriend, firmly reminding me that the more intimate relationship I craved with him was unattainable. Now that I knew when he’d had his first relationship, I couldn’t help wondering for some inexplicable reason how intimate the two of them had been. His voice broke through my thoughts, bringing me swiftly back to reality.

"It's about time we were going" he was saying, looking at his watch.

We finished our cigarettes and returned to the house, stamping our feet at the back door to dislodge the snow from our shoes. I quickly slipped them off and turned towards him.

"I'll just let mum know we're going"

He nodded and followed me through the kitchen to the lounge. When I opened the door mum was still watching television and dad had fallen asleep.

"We're going now mum” I said in a low voice, trying to avoid waking dad “I won't be late back"

“Ok love, enjoy the film” she said, turning around to face us.

Nathan moved to stand beside me in the doorway and I stiffened slightly as he placed his hand on the small of my back.

"Bye Nathan"

"Bye Mrs. Wright and thanks again for dinner. It was delicious"

"You're welcome love” she beamed “Have a nice time at the cinema"

We both chorused back at the same time "We will"