A Different Love - 45. Chapter 45

My stomach was doing somersaults as I gazed uncertainly at Aiden, far too shocked at first to respond. I gulped nervously and my heart began beating wildly as I realised exactly why he was here. He gave an involuntary shiver and quickly returning to my senses, I ushered him inside

"Come in Aiden, its freezing out there"

We stood facing each other awkwardly in the hallway, momentarily unsure what to do or say. He half smiled reluctantly and I realised he was bursting with nervous tension, inadvertently mirroring my own state of mind. He turned back towards the door uncertainly.

"Perhaps I shouldn't have come Jason, I'll go if you like?"

"NO!" I answered a little too quickly, tightly grasping his arm. He glanced down at my hand and I immediately loosened my grip and let go, backing away slightly against the wall. The air was heavy with unresolved sexual tension and it was several seconds before I realised I was holding my breath. The feeling of excitement and anticipation that held my stomach in a vice like grip refused to let go and a trickle of sweat ran slowly down my back. He swallowed nervously and his voice was loaded with emotion.

"Jason. About earlier....."

My finger was instantly on his lips to silence him and I whispered back breathlessly "Wait here!"

My throbbing erection seriously hampered movement as I stole quietly into the kitchen and popped my head around the living room door. Dad was gently snoring in his chair and I gasped with relief, quickly returning to the hallway. Aiden had removed his coat, but even in the dim light, I could see the front of his trousers were in a similar state to mine. His whole body was shaking with nervous anticipation as I pulled him close and our lips became locked in a passionate embrace. I could feel his hardness pushing against mine as he slammed me back against the wall and he gasped as my hand immediately pushed its way between the soft cleft of his buttocks. Eventually, we reluctantly pulled apart and I grasped his hand, leading him willingly towards my bedroom. Once inside we stood facing each other uncertainly, fully aware of the monumental decision we were about to make. Within seconds it was made and we pounced on each other in a frenzy of unbridled passion, frantically tearing at one another's clothing. Stripped down to our briefs, we suddenly paused and Aiden grabbed my waist and pulled me towards him. The feel of his soft moist lips as he kissed my naked chest was amazing and when his tongue found my nipples he licked and sucked for all he was worth. Aiden had a stunningly firm, muscular body that was to die for and I couldn't believe that for the time being it was all mine. Suddenly I felt myself falling backwards as he pushed me onto the bed. My hand stung like crazy as it glanced off the mattress but the thought of what was about to happen encouraged me to ignore the pain. I arched my back as his hands suddenly clutched both sides of my briefs and with one fluid movement he completely removed them. Released from its temporary incarceration my rigid cock slapped hard against my stomach, glistening with pre cum in the late afternoon sunshine that streamed in through the window. Aiden's hair tickled my stomach as his mouth found its way around my dripping cock, transporting my feelings of ecstasy to a whole new level. His head began furiously bobbing up and down as he brought me ever nearer to bliss and I grabbed his hair at both sides in a desperate bid to assist him. It seemed like an age since Conner had performed the same action on me and in no time at all Aiden had brought me close to the edge of climax. The breath taking build up began and as my muscles contracted and my ball sac tightened, the most incredible feeling in the world consumed me. Aiden sensed what was about to happen and my sudden release surged into his mouth with the force of an erupting volcano. It didn't seem to faze him at all though and he greedily swallowed all he could, quickly wiping away the dripping remains from his mouth. Grasping my still rock hard cock with his other hand, he thirstily sucked and pulled at my balls whilst pumping it like an out of control steam hammer. On the cusp of another orgasm, I covered his jerking hand with mine, gently slowing its frantic movement. He gazed at me in surprise, but I rolled him onto his side to face me, whispering to him seductively.

"Your turn now Aiden!"

He smiled his understanding and as he lay on his back I turned around and climbed on top of him, kneeling over his body on all fours. He was still wearing briefs and my head dipped between his legs, gently biting at his cock through the thin material. He arched his body in response and my swinging cock attracted his lips as it brushed across his face. I could feel his tongue dart across the head, hungrily licking at the last remaining drops of semen. Aiden's cock was an impressive sight as I pulled it clear of his briefs. The bulging head was dripping wet with pre cum and I hungrily licked at the salty liquid as it ran down his thick shaft. Judging by his moans of pleasure, regularly punctuated with curses, the movement of my tongue around his rolled back foreskin sent him soaring to a place I was pretty sure he'd never been before, whipping him into an even greater state of ecstasy. I sucked and licked for all I was worth, determined to give him as much pleasure as he'd given me. He must have raised himself up onto his elbows underneath me because the next thing I knew he'd taken me in his mouth again and the sensation of his hot breath and the flicks of his tongue as it darted around my cock sent me spiralling skywards. I could tell by the way his body began to jerk and quiver that he was about to come and within seconds he plastered the back of my throat with a huge load of thick creamy liquid that disappeared down my throat with surprising ease. He sank back on the bed as we gradually disentangled ourselves and I lay down beside him, reaching over to kiss his cheek. His face was flushed a deep shade of pink and his eyes were shining as he gazed at me in amazement.

"Fucking hell Jason, that was awesome! But why did you stop?"

"I wasn't sure how far you wanted to take things Aiden"

His response was immediate and I could tell by the intensity of his words that he was desperate to carry on. He propped himself up onto his elbow and stared at me intently.

"Jason, you don't know how long I've waited for this to happen. I've dreamt about you for years and fantasized about what we could do to each other. You were so fucking hot at school and you still are. It seems like I've fancied you forever!"

All at once he fell silent, obviously embarrassed by the intensity of his outburst. My eyes widened in amazement and I could hardly believe my ears. How could this be happening? Surely it must all be a dream and in a minute I would wake up with my hand wrapped around a huge erection as usual. Only this time there was no doubt it was the real thing! Aiden and I were actually having sex! It was totally unbelievable to think that he'd lusted after me for all those years as much as I had for him.

"But what about school?" I exclaimed in puzzlement "All the fights we had?"

He sighed helplessly and slowly shook his head "I was trying to deny my real feelings. That's all I've ever done!” he admitted sadly “After all, how could the big macho Aiden Thompson ever be gay? And besides" he added with a wry smile "How else could I get that close to you!"

I had to admit he was right. To come out in our school at that time was definitely not for the feint hearted and Aiden and I had never really hurt each other.

"I couldn't believe my luck when you started at the store" he went on "I thought at last I might be able to pluck up the courage to at least get to know you properly"

"You did at first though Aiden. You were really good to me"

"Yeah, I know. But then I met that fucking wanker Craig!” he exclaimed in exasperation “I still don’t understand why I ever listened to him”

I couldn't hide the look of hurt on my face and he was quick to apologise "I'm so sorry for everything I’ve done to you Jason. There’s no way you deserved that"

"Yeah well, I can't exactly say much about it now, can I Aiden? We have just given each other the most amazing blowjobs!"

An embarrassed smile momentarily played around his lips and he sighed as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. I suddenly felt incredibly sorry for him, at the same time admiring his courage. It was never easy for anyone to come out, but Aiden's journey had been a constant round of self denial and loathing, never daring to reveal his true feelings. Even though I wasn't fully out, at least I'd managed to come to terms with who I was and be reasonably comfortable with it. I gently brushed my hand across his cheek

"At least you don't have to deny your real feelings anymore Aiden"

"Yeah, but that's only because of you Jason! I don't know how to thank you"

I gave a low chuckle and lightly stroked his cock with my fingers. It quickly began to stiffen as I answered him. "Oh, I can think of a few ways you can do that!"

He smiled and jumped off the bed, quickly finding his trousers. For a second or two my heart sank as I thought he was leaving, but instead of putting them on he began fishing about in one of the pockets. With a shout of triumph he found what he'd been looking for and two items came sailing through the air, landing with a thud on the bed beside me. I stared at the packet of condoms and tube of lubricant, before gazing at him wide eyed.

"Fucking hell Aiden! You certainly came prepared"

"Yeah well" he grinned "What can I say? I used to be a boy scout"

Now that his feelings had been laid bare it seemed as if all his inhibitions had flown out of the window and he lay down beside me again, staring into my eyes intently. His voice cracked with emotion as he whispered to me breathlessly

"The thing is Jason, I want you to fuck me. I need to feel you inside me"

I moved closer towards him and stroked his cheek. "If you're sure that's what you want Aiden?"

"Yeah, I am"

I didn't need any further encouragement and quickly urged him to turn over. He did as I asked and his voice was muffled as he grasped the pillow tightly

"Will it hurt Jason?"

"A bit. But do your best to relax"

I opened the lube and squeezed a large blob onto my finger. His legs were already spread well apart and he jumped slightly as my finger probed the puckered hole between his cheeks. His buttocks instinctively clenched themselves together and he gasped as my finger sank slightly deeper, spreading the lube inside his hole. I quickly withdrew to reload my finger, swiftly returning it a second time. This time I eased it in a little deeper and he gave a small yelp of discomfort as my finger slowly delved up and down inside his hole with a circular motion, massaging and relaxing the tight ring of muscle . He tensed slightly as I slowly eased a second finger in, all the while massaging him and loosening his hole ready for my entry. Finally I withdrew both fingers and pulled his arse towards me, kissing both of his cheeks.

"Turn over Aiden"

When he turned to face me, he was still rock hard and I couldn't resist another suck of his wonderful balls, playfully pulling and dragging at the skin of his scrotum as it softly yielded to the feel of my wet tongue. I licked my way up the entire length of his rigid shaft, covering the head of his penis in kisses. Finally the moment had come to grant him his wish and I reached for a condom, tearing the wrapper open with my teeth. It rolled over my swollen penis with ease and grasping his thighs and buttocks, I swung him into position underneath me and lifted his legs over my shoulders. His tight puckered hole came into view and I gently rubbed more lube in and around it and up and down my cock.

"Ok Aiden, are you ready?"

He replied in a quiet timid voice, totally unlike the Aiden I knew, as he struggled to sound as brave as he could

"Yeah, go for it Jason"

"Remember what I said though, it may hurt a little"

I grasped my cock and slowly began to push the head inside him. Almost at once he gave a sharp cry of pain and his whole body tensed

"Argh! Fuck!! That hurts Jason"

I immediately eased off, reluctant to cause him any more pain than was necessary. "Sorry Aiden. I'll be as gentle as I can"

Almost at once he relaxed again, hurriedly urging me to continue "No, no it's ok Jason. Carry on. I'm just being a wimp"

He grabbed my arms, but this time he didn't cry out, as I gently eased my way further inside him. His nails dug into my arms as he struggled to accept my length but I figured it would do no harm to share the pain. As I slowly started to move in and out of him in a slow pumping motion, his hands relaxed and when he gave a low moan I could tell his pain was turning to pleasure. For my part I couldn't believe how lucky I was, riding a guy as handsome as Aiden. Sex with him was every bit as mind blowing as I'd discovered it was the first time around with Connor and my heart was pounding as our bodies continued to meld and fuse themselves together. He'd taken hold of his own cock by now and was pounding it furiously in time with my thrusts. His closed eyes and shrieks of unbridled desire confirmed he was floating on a euphoric cloud of ecstasy, totally intoxicated by our all-consuming passion. As my thrusting gradually began to increase to a frenzy his response became ever more manic. "Oh Jason fuck........FUCK….JASON…...OH FUCK!!!!!" As we built to a mind blowing crescendo and our bodies writhed together in perfect harmony, I felt something give and my balls exploded, filling the condom with an unstoppable surge of cum. Within seconds Aiden had shot his load too, spraying his stomach, chest and arm with waves of thick creamy liquid. I couldn't believe how much cum had sprayed out of those perfect balls!! His whole body sagged and our stiffened limbs relaxed as I withdrew and sank down on the bed beside him, totally spent and exhausted. The musky scent of our sweating bodies swirled around my nostrils and the afterglow of sex wrapped around us like a warm blanket.

We laid like that for what seemed like an age until the pounding in our chests subsided, at last allowing some semblance of breathless conversation.

"That was fucking awesome Jason!! I can't believe we just did that"

If he was amazed I was totally flabbergasted! What had just happened was beyond belief. Who would ever have imagined that Aiden and I would end up in bed together, having mind blowing sex. I wiped the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand and leant over to kiss him.

"I have to admit Aiden, that was pretty amazing!"

He responded with a long hard kiss that began to get me aroused again and I wrapped my legs around him, pressing my hardness against his thigh. Unfortunately, as our bodies came together a sea of sticky cum oozed out between us and I quickly disentangled myself, jumping up to get a towel. As we began wiping ourselves down the unmistakable sound of the front door opening rang in my ears, followed seconds later by a slamming sound as it shut. I froze with horror for several seconds before quickly regaining my composure.

"Fuck!! Mums back!!" I hissed urgently “Quick Aiden, get dressed!"

He jumped up and we immediately bumped into each other in our haste to retrieve the various items of clothing scattered haphazardly around the room. Aiden finished first and immediately began straightening the crumpled bedclothes as best he could and I glanced in the mirror, quickly attempting to flatten my dishevelled hair. A short while later mum called out from the hallway.

"Jason! I'm back!"

"Ok mum. Coming!"

By this time we were both fully dressed and apart from the slight flush on our faces, it was virtually impossible to detect what we'd been doing a short time before. I gazed at Aiden's expression of panic and moved in to give him a quick peck on the cheek

"Relax ok?"

He immediately pulled away and stared at me uncertainly, unable to hide the worried look on his face

"Look Jason, this was probably a mistake. I don’t think….."

“Aiden, it’s too fucking late now!” I hissed urgently, guiding him towards the door “Just try and act normally!”

Mum was still in the hallway when we came out of the bedroom and she glanced at us in surprise.

"Oh sorry love, I didn't realise you had company"

I smiled at Aiden and gave him a look of encouragement "Aiden just came by for a chat mum"

"Of course love"

She nodded sympathetically and rubbed his shoulder "How are you Aiden. I was so sorry to hear about your mum"

"Not too bad Mrs. Wright” he responded in a forced voice “Jason's been helping me come......."

For some inexplicable reason he paused slightly and my chest exploded in a fit of coughing. He must have realized all of a sudden how it sounded and flashed me a look of horror, before hurriedly finishing off what he'd been saying "come to terms with it that is......He's been helping me come to terms with it. I feel much better now"

Mum carried on, thankfully unaware of the reason behind Aiden’s confusion.

"Oh good! You need a friend at times like this, dear"

She turned towards me for confirmation before continuing and I smiled my agreement. By this time I couldn't look Aiden in the eye but I could imagine how he was feeling.

"Well make sure to call round whenever you like Aiden. I'm sure Jason will be pleased to see you"

"Thank you Mrs. Wright, I will"

He frowned and moved towards the front door, clearly desperate to leave. "I have to get going anyway"

"Oh. Well ok, but make sure you come again" she reiterated, smiling at him.

As soon as she disappeared into the kitchen his earlier anxiety immediately reasserted itself and he gazed at me worriedly. “Jason, promise me you won’t say a word about this to anyone! I’m not gay or anything, I’m just.....”

I stared at him aghast, unable to stop myself exploding with frustration.

"Aiden!! What’s the fucks the matter with you? You just said…."

“I know what I said!” he hissed as a flash of anger crossed his face. “But what we just did....….it was wrong. We shouldn’t have done it!”

“Aiden!! For fucks sake, you came here” I interrupted in an angry whisper “Nobody forced you to do anything!”

He was obviously still desperately fighting his inner demons and I could tell by the sound of his voice that he was close to tears. His chest suddenly deflated and he sighed loudly.

"I know Jason. Look I’m really sorry; I didn’t mean it like that"

He quickly grabbed his coat off the stand and opened the door. A blast of cold air instantly blew around my legs and before I knew what was happening, he’d grasped my head and urgently forced his tongue between my lips. Despite the danger, I couldn’t resist reciprocating and as our lips made contact, I was desperate to repeat the experience. He pulled away and within seconds he'd disappeared through the gate and down the road without another word and I closed the door, purposefully banging the back of my head as I stood wearily against it, contemplating the disastrous consequences my actions could have. Now that he’d gone, the feelings of guilt really started creeping in and I realised the magnitude of what I'd done. My thoughts inevitably turned towards Nathan and the deep feelings I held for him. I loved him so much and was desperate to hold on to his friendship. I knew he had feelings for me too and desperately hoped that one day he might find the courage to act on them. The thought of losing him was too unbearable to imagine and there was no way I would ever want to hurt him. I wished with all my heart it could have been Nathan I'd been intimate with, but that wasn't about to happen anytime soon. For some reason he kept pushing me towards Aiden and I’d finally succumbed, too overcome with wanting and lust to resist, whilst he constantly held me at arm’s length. What I felt for Aiden could never come even remotely close to the incredibly strong feelings of love and desire I held for Nathan. That was not to say, however, that I hadn't developed a feeling of fondness for Aiden. He wasn't in the best of places right now and despite what had happened in the past I was determined to treat him with kindness and respect. His misguided feelings of anger and frustration towards me had been transcended by an overwhelming need to be his true self, born out of a crushing sense of loneliness and vulnerability. Somehow, he'd found the courage through me, to release his pent-up sexual desires and I wasn't about to deny him the chance to finally come to terms with who he really was. That first desperate kiss and the subsequent love making we'd shared together made my thoughts spin around in turmoil and I wondered if there would be any more contact in the future. Was sex with Aiden the biggest mistake of my life, or was it the perfect outlet for my needs? Right at this moment, it seemed to be what Aiden needed too, but was I just complicating things even more for him. And could I manage to compartmentalize my life in the way I would need to? Loving Nathan like crazy and remaining his best friend, yet having mind blowing sex with an incredibly hot guy like Aiden at the same time. One thing was for certain. There was no way I could ever convince Nathan I loved him whilst I was……my thoughts stood still for a few seconds…..what on earth was it with Aiden anyway? A fling? Pure lust? Until I had a chance to speak with him again whatever had just happened remained totally unclear.

My heart had finally stopped pounding after our close call with mum, and I wandered through to the lounge, hoping that dad would be awake and I could talk to him about Nathan's father. He coughed slightly as I entered the room and smiled at me as I sat down on the sofa.

"Now then lad, what have you been up to this afternoon?"

I gave a deep sigh, knowing that he would probably be deeply disturbed and disappointed to learn what his son had been doing with another man a short time earlier.

I laughed nervously and revealed at least part of the truth "Oh erm Aiden called round. I think he needed someone to talk too.....and erm stuff. You know how it is"

"That's good of you lad, offering your support like that. I hope he felt better afterwards"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure he did"

I couldn't help smiling to myself as I saw his naked body writhing about underneath me and coloured up slightly at the deception.

"So what did the doctor say?" he was asking, as I struggled to get Aiden out of my thoughts.

"He said my hand is coming along nicely. Oh, and if it's alright with Mr Buchan, I can go back to work on Thursday, as long as I don't lift anything. I'm going to ring him in a bit"

He shook his head in satisfaction "Good, that's good son"

I gazed at him anxiously, tentatively raising the subject I really wanted to talk about.

"I hear you were having a good laugh with Nathan's father earlier" I mentioned casually.

His face instantly lit up with a smile and he chuckled to himself "That’s right son, you know I always enjoy his visits. We had a good laugh together"

"I erm....saw him outside in the car with Nathan earlier. He didn't look so happy then. I think they were arguing"

He glanced at me in puzzlement and shook his head "Yeah, I can guess what that's about, but I still don't understand it. He's got some bee in his bonnet about you and Nathan being friends. For some reason he doesn't think it's a good idea. I tried to convince him otherwise, but he was adamant. He won't change his mind!"

My heart sank and I couldn't help seething with anger. Was this why Nathan was pushing me away? Was his dad forcing him to? At least I was now certain that the two conversations I'd heard between Nathan and his father definitely referred to me.

"Really!!" I exploded, unable to remain silent any longer "Did he say why? How can he even think that!"

"Hey, calm down lad!"

By this time, I was boiling with rage. How dare he try and control Nathan in this way? I hated having a disagreement with dad, but this was just too important to ignore "I know he's your best friend dad, but I won't let him come between us" I argued fiercely "He's got no right! Nathan is my friend"

I was just about to rage on some more when dad raised his hands to silence me.

"Jason! If you let me finish, I happen to agree with you. I think you should be friends with Nathan too"

"Oh!" I gasped, as my anger deflated like air escaping from a balloon.

"I really don't know what's the matter with Jim" he said, shaking his head in despair “I can’t figure him out with this one at all”

"So he didn't give you any clue as to why" I pressed, convinced that dad must have some idea.

"None at all" he replied, unable to look at me "He wouldn’t discuss it at all"

For some reason I had a feeling that dad knew more than he was letting on. Maybe not the whole truth, but he definitely knew something. His next words left me speechless, however, and for the time being I forgot all about it.

"Nathan's turned out to be a fine lad" he went on, gazing at me shrewdly "Anyone who would lie for you has got to be a really good friend"

My heart thudded and the blood rushed to my ears as I gave a stuttered response "W-what do you mean?"

"I think you know what I mean Jason. You surely didn't expect me to believe you'd trapped your hand in a door, did you? And what about your ribs? I knew that alcohol must have been involved somehow!"

I went bright red and turned away. No matter how convincing Nathan had sounded, it obviously hadn't been good enough to fool dad!

"Look, I just....."

He held his hand up to silence me and my words faded away.

"On seconds thoughts it's probably not the best time to discuss it. We'll wait until your mum goes out and then you can tell me what really happened!"

Before I had a chance to say anymore mum bustled in and I quickly took the opportunity to disappear to my room.

With a cursory goodbye to mum and dad, I left the house about 6pm to visit Nathan. There was a bus stop just opposite the village green and I wandered over to it, hastily rubbing the ice off the plastic covered timetable in order to read it. The next bus was due in ten minutes and as I leant against the framework, my eyes were drawn towards the graffiti covered wall that formed the back of the shelter. All sorts of messages were daubed in paint or carved into the wood at odd angles, and I twisted my head to one side in order to read some of them. ‘Charlie woz ere’ one of them proclaimed, ‘Jamie fucked Anna’ said another. The message that made me squirm with discomfort, however, was the one that read 'Be a sperm donor. Ring this number for a free blow job!’ It instantly reminded me of what I’d been doing with Aiden only a few hours before and the guilt spread through my body like a highly contagious disease. The last thing I wanted was for Nathan to find out what had happened between us. He would only say that he was right all along, and we should get together as a couple permanently.

My fingers and toes were steadily growing colder and colder and the way I began absent-mindedly pushing my shoe through the deep snow against the side of the shelter only made it worse, but I couldn't seem to stop. My stomach was on fire with nervous tension as I thought how deep rooted my feelings for Nathan really were and how desperate I was to see him again. After he'd been forced to lie to my parents about my hand, I wasn't even sure if he'd want to see me or not, but I was determined to find out. After all, he’d never once been in touch, despite his promise to the contrary. On top of that, he'd virtually ignored me outside my house today. Was this his way of letting me know that he didn’t want to see me again, or was I just being paranoid, and he was waiting for me to make the first move. Ever since we met it seemed as if we'd spent every spare moment together and for the last few days, I'd felt totally lost without him, more than a little hurt by his uncharacteristic behaviour. I hated to think that things might end this way between us and all I wanted was a chance to talk to him, to reassure him that things would be fine. I needed him so much and if there was still a chance for our friendship to continue, I was willing to do anything to make it work. For nowthough, I desperately needed some answers, even if they weren't the ones I wanted to hear.

My thoughts were rudely interrupted by the squealing brakes of the bus as it sprayed the pavement with slush. Luckily, I was standing well back from the edge and just escaped the torrent of wet snow by several inches. The driver was wearing a festive red hat trimmed with white fur and a matching bobble. With his ruddy cheeks and short white beard, he looked remarkably like Father Christmas and his cheerful manner brought a smile to my face as I sat down in a seat near the middle. The episode with Aiden was still weighing heavily on my mind and I tried unsuccessfully to push it aside for the time being, intent on concentrating on my visit to see Nathan. Sex with Aiden had been amazing, and I couldn't believe that a short while ago we'd been going at it like two rabbits, high on speed. Sex had been virtually non-existent since Connor left and it was hard to resist Aiden's near perfect body. And after all, it was true what he'd said, why should I live without a sex life at my age? Unfortunately, that's all it was for me though. Sex! I hated to think I might be using him though, somehow compensating for what I couldn't have with Nathan. His remark about needing each other went some way to easing my conscience and I had made sure he was fully aware of my feelings for Nathan.

As we got nearer to Cranfield, the more nervous I became, wondering what sort of reception awaited me. What if he was still out, or even worse, didn’t want to see me at all? In the end I had to tell myself to stop being so paranoid! Of course he would want to see me, why on earth would he refuse?

The bus finally entered Cranfield and it was time to push the stop button. The palms of my hands were sweaty with a last-minute rush of panic and I quickly wiped them on the seat, before gingerly making my way to the front. I grabbed a handrail for support as the bus swept around the last corner and my whole body lurched violently to one side, almost making me fall. Suddenly the bus slowed down rapidly, finally coming to a gentle halt directly in line with the entrance to the shelter. Now that we were here a sudden wave of nervous excitement welled up inside me and after a wave and a Merry Christmas from the driver, I jumped off and made the short walk to Nathan’s flat.

This time the lights were on and a shiver of anticipation ran up and down my back as I stood at the front door, arm half raised, plucking up the courage to knock. As my hand was about to make contact with the door, the muffled sound of voices raised in anger rang out from inside and I withdrew my hand as if I’d been stung by a wasp. Nathan and his father had begun arguing relentlessly with each other and I stood there listening, rooted to the spot. Mr. Brown appeared to be absolutely furious as he berated his son, and his increasingly loud shouts and overbearing manner could now be heard as clear as day through the small open window beside the door.

“NATHAN, THIS IS THE THIRD TIME I’VE TOLD YOU AND I WON’T TELL YOU AGAIN, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?” he raged.

Nathan’s voice, equally angry, rang out in despair “BUT WHY? WHAT POSSIBLE HARM CAN IT DO?"

“LOOK NATHAN, I DON’T CARE ANYMORE WHAT KIND OF LIFESTYLE YOU CHOOSE TO LEAD, BUT I WON’T LET YOU CORRUPT HIM.”

There was a slight pause, and I could almost hear his chest heave with exasperation and anger as his voice fell silent. Even though my name hadn’t been specifically mentioned, there was no doubt in my mind they were arguing about me. My heart began pounding uncontrollably and as a feeling of dizziness and nausea swept over me, I grasped the door frame for support.

“It won't happen” Nathan began again in the same distraught voice. It had dropped by several decibels and I struggled to hear him clearly. “I've told you, he's not like that”

There were no such problems with the volume of his father's voice, however, and he immediately began shouting again. “AFTER WHAT YOU DID, I REFUSE TO TAKE THE CHANCE” he instantly shot back “YOU’RE NOT TO SEE HIM AGAIN, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?”

It was Nathan’s turn to be furious now and he was obviously livid at his father's demands. “THAT’S RIDICULOUS!! AND BESIDES, YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO ANYMORE, OR WHO I CAN SEE. I’M 21 YEARS OLD FOR CHRIST’S SAKE”

“NATHAN!!!”

“GO TO HELL DAD, WHY SHOULD I DO WHAT YOU SAY?”

There seemed to be a standoff as both of them fell silent. It was only a matter of time however, before Nathan’s father started yelling at him once again, this time in a slightly wounded voice.

“WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU NATHAN. WHY WON'T YOU DO AS I SAY?”

“BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO” Nathan immediately shot back “YOU CAN’T DECIDE WHO I CAN AND CAN'T BE FRIENDS WITH. I'M NOT A KID ANYMORE! THE SOONER YOU GO BACK TO LONDON, THE BETTER”

His last comments obviously infuriated his father even more and when he replied his voice was slightly lower but filled with bitterness and despair. “

I’VE ALWAYS GIVEN YOU EVERYTHING I COULD NATHAN…..” he began acrimoniously.

“EVERYTHING EXCEPT YOUR LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING” interrupted Nathan, his voice wavering with emotion “YOU COULDN’T GIVE ME THAT, COULD YOU?”

Until now I hadn’t realised how bad things were between the two of them and all I wanted to do was hold him close and somehow make him feel better again.

“YOU’VE ALWAYS HAD AS MUCH MONEY AS YOU NEEDED” he continued, completely ignoring his son’s heartfelt interruption “A WELL-PAID JOB, THIS PLACE TO LIVE IN ABSOLUTELY FREE, A CHANCE TO DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE. ALL I ASK IS THAT YOU SHOW ME A LITTLE BIT OF RESPECT IN RETURN”

I could almost see Nathan scoff in disbelief before replying “I REFUSE TO GIVE YOU THAT DAD. HOW CAN I RESPECT SOMEONE WHO CAN’T EVEN ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM?”

Nathan’s father was quick to respond, and I couldn't help feeling surprised at the harsh tone in his voice “WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO? I CAN’T HELP THE WAY I FEEL”

The pain and anguish in Nathan’s voice was all too apparent and it was several seconds before he answered his father. "AND NEITHER CAN I!"

“NATHAN, I’M WARNING YOU ONE LAST TIME!!”

“NO, I WON’T STOP SEEING HIM! JASON’S THE BEST FRIEND I’VE EVER HAD! WHY SHOULD I?”

His desperate tone rang out and after the last few days it was so good to hear him actually say I was still his friend. Now that my name had finally been mentioned a kind of cold fear washed over me and it made the whole thing seem even more real. My stomach began spinning crazily and I almost threw up there and then on the pathway.

“OK NATHAN, IF YOU WON’T AGREE, THEN SO BE IT, YOU’VE FORCED ME. IF YOU CONTINUE TO DEFY ME THEN THIS IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN.

As he started to list the things he was prepared to do to stop Nathan from seeing me, I gasped with shock and amazement. The Mr Brown I knew had completely disappeared, replaced by some raving lunatic I didn’t even recognise.

YOU’LL BE IMMEDIATELY SACKED FROM THE FACTORY, AND WHEN I DIE YOU WON’T INHERIT A SINGLE THING! YOU CAN ALSO GET OUT OF THIS FLAT NOW!”

Nathan responded forcefully in retaliation, completely dismissing his father’s threats.

“STUFF YOUR FACTORY AND YOUR FLAT, I DON’T WANT IT!”

“BUT I PRESUME YOU’LL STILL WANT TO SEE ANNIE?”

Nathan was suddenly silenced as Mr Brown’s voice took on an ice-cold tone. I could almost feel a dagger of fear piercing his heart. His father continued with the threat I knew would completely devastate him.

“IF YOU THINK YOU’LL EVER SEE HER AGAIN YOU’RE SADLY MISTAKEN!”

Nathan’s voice was full of anguish and despair when he answered and all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him and hug him tightly.

“YOU CAN’T STOP ME FROM SEEING HER. JEMMA AND I HAVE AN AGREEMENT!”

“DON’T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT NATHAN. BUT CONSIDER THIS, BY THE TIME I’VE FINISHED, IT’LL BE ANNIE WHO WON’T WANT TO SEE YOU!”

I could tell by his tone of voice that Nathan had tears of frustration in his eyes as he implored his father to reconsider his threats “YOU WOULDN’T DO THAT DAD!

His father was having none of it and quickly pushed home his advantage.

“SO, LET’S THINK ABOUT IT NATHAN. NO HOME, NO JOB, NO INHERITANCE! YOU WON’T SEE YOUR DAUGHTER AGAIN UNTIL GOD KNOW’S WHEN! YOUR MOTHER WILL SINK INTO DEPRESSION....AGAIN. WHO KNOW’S, THIS TIME SHE MIGHT GO FURTHER THAN JUST HURTING HERSELF! AND GUESS WHO’S FAULT IT'LL ALL BE! AND JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN’T DO AS YOU’RE TOLD FOR ONCE!!!”

Complete silence descended and there was absolutely no response from Nathan. Like me, he was probably so shocked that his father could stoop so low it had left him completely speechless. I was aghast that Mr Brown could be so cruel and finally began to understand the sort of pressure that Nathan was under. He wasn’t finished yet, however, and continued in a voice loaded with sarcasm

“OH BUT WAIT A MINUTE! YOU’LL PROBABLY RUN AWAY ABROAD LIKE YOU DID LAST TIME. IN FACT, THINKING ABOUT IT, THAT’S THE BEST SOLUTION FOR EVERYONE. PROBLEM SOLVED!”

Nathan’s devastated voice rang out in desperation and I could tell he was completely overcome.

“I JUST CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’D DO THIS! HOW CAN YOU BE SO CRUEL?”

“OH, I CAN BE CRUEL NATHAN, DON’T WORRY ABOUT THAT! DISOBEY ME AND YOU’LL SOON FIND OUT HOW MUCH”

A door suddenly banged shut and the argument was abruptly cut short. Nathan had obviously left the room and a kind of heavenly silence immediately descended.

Even though it was freezing cold, I suddenly realised I was sweating profusely with nervous tension. I knew there had to be a reason why he was pushing me towards Aiden, and this was obviously it! But why on earth had Mr Brown reacted so vehemently to his son’s friendship with me! What possible reason could there be to order him not to see me anymore? What did he mean about Nathan’s lifestyle corrupting me? Like a bolt from the blue, it suddenly hit me why Nathan hadn’t been in contact. He didn’t want us to meet when his father was here in case I found out what was going on. No wonder he hadn’t acknowledged me when I’d seen him earlier in the car. He was obviously doing everything he could to ensure that his father didn't see any interaction between us.

I raised my hand once more to knock on the door but dropped it again abruptly, quickly realising it was a very unwise decision. In the end I began to back away, eventually making my mind up to ring him instead. The bus stop was only a short distance away and I began slowly walking towards it. Halfway there my phone began to ring, and I hurriedly pulled it out of my pocket. The illuminated display slowly moving across the screen announced it was Nathan and my stomach immediately began doing somersaults. I smiled excitedly and eagerly tapped the answer button. His voice was filled with a mixture of sadness and dismay and I immediately felt sorry for the predicament he found himself in. Would he choose to completely ignore his father and continue with our relationship, or was he about to reluctantly end it?