A Different Love - 21. Chapter 21

The following morning, I jumped out of bed as soon as the alarm clock rang. What had happened the previous night instantly came to mind, and I quickly stripped the sheets off the bed. These days it wasn’t the kind of thing that normally happened, and I thought it best to hide any evidence of my indiscretion as quickly as possible. Luckily, they were due to be changed anyway and I hurriedly got dressed and gathered them together.

The kitchen was empty when I peered surreptitiously around the door and I quickly stuffed them into the washing machine, firmly banging the door shut. Mum and dad were talking in the lounge and I shouted through.

“I’VE PUT MY SHEETS IN THE WASHER, MUM. SHALL I TURN IT ON?”

There was a second or two’s silence and I held my breath, desperately hoping she’d say yes. The last thing I wanted was for her to take them out again for some reason. I gave a deep sigh of relief when she agreed and anticipating her next words, quickly reached for the washing powder.

“Ok love. Don’t forget the powder though”

“No, course not mum” I answered, smiling to myself.

The washer began filling up and I watched until the sheets began sloshing around in soapy water, glad that almost certain embarrassment had been averted. Dropping a slice of bread in the toaster, I made a quick cup of coffee before wandering through to the lounge. My parents were busily discussing the programme that was on television and I coughed slightly to gain their attention. They turned towards me enquiringly.

“Oh, by the way mum, I almost forgot. Not sure when I'll be home tonight. I’m going for a drink with one of the guys from work”

I hated lying but didn't think it would be a good idea to tell them I was going for a drink with an incredibly hot guy that I'd only just met the previous day.

"Oh, is it Aiden?" Mum immediately asked.

I frowned slightly and inwardly sighed. She had the misguided idea that the two of us were good friends, probably originating from Aiden via his mother and I hurriedly shook my head.

"Erm, no it's a guy called Nathan"

"Oh. I haven't heard you mention him before"

This all sounded dreadfully familiar and I was only too aware we’d been here before with Connor. At almost twenty-one years old, why did I feel that I still had to justify my actions? Living at home had its advantages, but this was definitely not one of them. Trying to sound as casual as possible, I took a deep breath before ploughing ahead with the white lie.

"Oh, I'm sure I must have done at some point" I answered breezily "He's really nice"

I couldn't believe how utterly inadequate the word nice was when describing Nathan. An incredibly sexy Adonis had walked into my life and all I was allowed to say about him was that he was nice! Unfairness simply didn't cover it!

Before they had a chance to comment further, I gathered their empty cups together as an excuse and took them into the kitchen to avoid any further discussion on the subject. The door was left slightly ajar and I could just hear them speaking to one another in hushed voices. For some inexplicable reason, I could tell they were talking about me and I stood with my ear to the narrow gap, listening intently. Dad's low tone wasbarely audible, but I could still hear the puzzlement in his voice.

"Do you know love, I sometimes wonder about that lad, he shows hardly any interest in girls"

Mum's reply was quick, in a hasty attempt to appease him. "Just give him time love. You can't force these things"

"But he’s twenty-one shortly. We'd been going out aboutfour years at his age!”

“I know that love, but perhaps he’s just a slow starter or something”

Her words instantly hit a nerve, causing me to take a sharp intake of breath. What on earth did she mean by something! I was becoming more and more convinced that mum secretly knew the truth.

Meanwhile, dad had completely missed the intimationand was still in full flow.

"Slow starter! He's practically a nonstarter. I mean what about thatConnie? He went on one date with her ages ago and then not another word ever since"

"Well perhaps he didn't like her, people don't always get on you know. And besides" she added with an air of finality "It's none of our business who he sees. I'm sure he’ll find someone before long"

“Yeah, I suppose you're right” he said with a sigh "I just want him to be settled with a nice girlfriend and everything. Just the normal kind of thing that lads do”

The sharp feeling of pain that his words caused me was like a dagger being thrust deep into my heart. It shouldn’t really have surprised me to know how he felt, but it still shocked me to hear him talk about it as if I was abnormal in some way, and as I stepped back from the doorway the cup that was held loosely in my hand almost went crashing to the floor. My initial reaction was to burst into the room and assure them I already had a girlfriend, but the strategy hadn’t worked with Aiden and Craig yesterday and it probably wouldn’t work with mum and dad today. I had to face it. When it came to lying, I just wasn't very good at it. Instead my heart sank like a stone and I wandered through to my bedroom, hurt and upset. I didn’t blame my dad. It was probably what everyone else was thinking or would eventually think. I’d always known it would get harder and harder to hide the truth the older I became, but it still wasn’t fair, I didn’t ask to be gay. Sinking down on the bed in exasperation, the ceiling quickly became blurred as my eyes filled with tears. They spilled onto the pillow as I turned onto my side and I punched it angrily, wishing for the umpteenth time that it wasn’t true. I thought by now that I’d come to accept my homosexuality, had my feelings well under control and was even becoming reasonably ok with it. Then something like this happened and immediately I was back to square one, hurt, angry and ashamed.

This time it was different though. This time I’d met Nathan and there was a dim light at the end of the tunnel. Thoughts of him immediately filled my head, helping me to push my worries and fears aside. Even though we’d only just met, and he was more than likely straight, I was desperate to see him again and my mind was full of hopes and fantasies for the future. I imagined him lying naked and aroused beside me, willing my hands to explore every inch of his perfect body. My fingers traced the imaginary outline of his muscular chest on the sheet beside me, leaving me breathless and desperate to caress the real thing. My emotions were riding high and the very sound of his name in my head was enough to lift my spirits. Suddenly things didn’t seem nearly so bad and the feelings of hurt and anguish slowly began to subside. The way I felt about Nathan at that moment reminded me of the first time that Connor had asked me out, only this time my feelings were a thousand times more powerful. I couldn’t wait for the evening to come and the chance to spend some more time with him. In the meantime, however, a long day at work stood in the way.

My desperate need to be with Nathan made the day pass incredibly slowly and every time I sneaked a look at the clock it hardly seemed to have moved since the last time I’d looked. I spent much of the day in a dream world, unable to stop myself from thinking about him. No one else I’d met had ever had such a profound effect on me and my heart raced as his handsome face constantly appeared in my thoughts. Had I only seen him once he would probably have stayed in my mind for a day or two before slowly fading away, but the fact that we’d met again and he’d invited me to join him for a drink made my head spin and I desperately hoped it was the start of something special.

My train was a few minutes late that evening and as it drew into Hamborough station, Nathan was already waiting for me on the platform. He waved as soon as he spotted me standing up and with a wide smile on his face walked towards the carriage door. He was dressed in a pair of tight jeans and my heart raced in appreciation as I looked him slowly up and down through the window of the slowing train. As it screeched to a halt and the doors opened, he stepped forward and greeted me warmly.

"Hiya Jason, good day at work?”

“Yeah, not too bad thanks”

I could hardly tell him that I’d spent most of it in a dream world waiting to be with him again, so instead I deftly returned the question “How about you? How was your day?”

“Yeah, fine thanks”

His expression had darkened considerably, and it was clear that his words meant the exact opposite of what he’d just said. I thought it prudent not to ask about the obvious ambiguity in his answer, feeling it best to let him tell me in his own time if he wanted to. As much as it felt like I’d known him for ages, in reality we didn’t know each other very well at all, so I quickly changed the subject, hoping to restore his good humour.

“Are you ready for that drink then?” I asked, rubbing my hands together to warm them.

His face visibly brightened and the enthusiasm in his voice was immediately apparent. “Am I ever” he said, nodding towards the entrance “C’mon, let’s go”

It was another bitterly cold evening and I zipped up my jacket as we set off down the hill towards the bus station. The paths were still treacherous to walk on and halfway down the hill I almost slipped and had to grab Nathan’s shoulder to stop myself from falling over. He held onto my arm firmly to steady me and despite the cold night air a warm feeling spread throughout my body.

“You ok Jason?”

The memory of landing on the hard snow when I’d fallen over the other night came flooding back to me and I rubbed the bruise on my buttock as if it had just happened. Not wanting Nathan to think I was a complete wimp, I just shook my head and pretended to laugh it off.

“Yeah, I’m fine thanks. Sorry I grabbed hold of you, it must be these shoes!” I answered, feeling a sudden need to justify my action “No grip you see!”

He just smiled and didn’t respond, using the few seconds of silence that followed to pose a question. “So then Jason” he enquired “Where do you work?”

There was a slight pause before I responded, and I briefly considered the possibility he would think my job mundane and boring. “Oh, nowhere very grand” I answered haltingly “I’m a salesman at a computer store in the city. Or a Technical Service Advisor to give it its correct name” I added, laughing.

There was no need for me to worry what he would think as his response was more than favourable and I thought again what a nice guy he was.

“That must be really interesting” he replied enthusiastically “I know where to come now if I need anything for my computer!”

I managed to hide the look of alarm that quickly spread across my face. It was bad enough just thinking about him at work, let alone actually seeing him in the store.

“What about you Nathan?” I asked, hurriedly changing the subject “Where do you work?”

The same dark expression that had clouded his face earlier instantly reappeared and I wondered again what the reason was for his obvious unhappiness.

“Oh, I work at the engineering factory. Over the other side of town”

“You mean AWB Engineering?”

“Yeah, that’s the place” he replied with a wistful sigh.

“My dad used to work there!” I exclaimed in surprise “He’s really good friends with the owner”

"Oh! I see"

He was clearly taken aback. His eyes widened considerably and the surprise on his face was immediately apparent.

AWB Engineering was a long-established family company that made all sorts of metalwork products from pipes and tubes to garden furniture. My dad had gone to school with George, the owner’s son and the two of them had become really close friends. After school George went straight into the family business working for his father and my dad got a job there too, starting on the same day. Their good friendship continued over the years to this day and our families even spent the occasional summer holidayat the seaside together. Eventually his father retired, and George took over the running of the business. He soon opened another factory in London and moved down south with his family shortly afterwards. He was just about to put my father in charge of the Hamborough factory when disaster struck and dad became ill, forcing him to take early retirement from the job he loved. Every time George came back to Hamborough he always made sure to visit dad.

"You seem really surprised Nathan?"

"Erm.....no, not really. I just thought the owner came from London"

"No, he was born here in Hamborough. Dad went to school with him"

Nathan didn’t respond and I quickly filled the sudden awkward silence with another question.

“So, which department do you work in Nathan?”

He hesitated before giving a rather vague answer “Oh you know, I’m working in different departments at the moment, getting to know the place”

There was definitely something a little odd about his answer, as if he was holding something back and this time, I couldn’t help myself from probing a little deeper. “Oh, you mean like an apprentice!” I suggested, wondering why he hadn’t said that in the first place.

“Well yeah, sort of”

He was still being very non-committal and once again his answer was vague to say the least. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask what he meant, but instead I decided to change tack and ask him something he would find a little more difficult to brush aside.

“I take it from the look on your face that you don’t like it very much”

He sighed loudly and I realized there was more to the situation than met the eye. I could see that he was struggling to find an answer to that question as well and I began to wish that I’d never asked in the first place.

“No, it’s not that” he began finally “I like the work and everything, it’s just that some of the people aren’t very easy to get on with”

Dad had always said what a great bunch of people they were to work with, but it was some time ago now since he’d been there, so it was possible they were a completely different crowd by now. After all, sometimes it only took a couple of people to completely change the mood of a place, Aiden and Craig at the store being the perfect example.

“Anyway, I can forget about it now” he said firmly, immediately cheering up. “I’ve finished for the week”

Fortunately, I was off for the weekend too, so there was no rush to get home. It was the perfect opportunity to get to know him better and despite what I’d said yesterday about only being able to stay for a couple of drinks, the opportunity to cement our budding friendship was far too good to miss. If only I had a bit more money! We reached the bus stop a second or two later and my cold fingers struggled to pull out a packet of cigarettes from my trouser pocket. In my haste to offer him one, I failed to notice the small item that fell to the ground as my hand withdrew.

“Something’s just fallen out of your pocket” said Nathan, immediately bending down to pick up the small plastic wallet that nestled in the snow.

“It’s my train pass” I exclaimed, reaching out for it “I can’t afford to lose that”

I normally kept it safely in my inside pocket but with the excitement of seeing Nathan again, I’d obviously forgotten to put it back. With a mischievous smile on his face he quickly stepped away from my outstretched hand and opened the wallet.

“Jason Wright, date of birth 13th December 1979” he read, ignoring my half-hearted pleas to give it back.

“Hey, that’s amazing!!! He suddenly exclaimed “I can’t believe it”

“Can’t believe what” I asked, puzzled at his obvious excitement.

“It’s your birthday next weekon the 13^thand it’s mine the day after!”

I was just about to answer him when the expression on his face turned to one of mock disbelief and he turned the wallet on its side, peering at it closely.

“Who on earth is that!” he suddenly exclaimed, gazing atthe photograph and laughing out loud.

“It’s me you idiot, give it back”

Instead of returning the pass, he grinned and held it up to the side of my face, pretending to compare the two. “Nah, the originals much better looking!"

I snatched the pass off him and quickly stuffed it in my inside pocket, patting the outside of my jacket to make sure I could feel it there, safely stowed away. The compliment he’d given me hadn’t gone unnoticed though and every nerve end in my body began to tingle.

“Very funny” I said, laughing along with him “Of course I agree about the good-looking bit!”

He smiled and laughed off my comment before continuing “So let’s see, how old does that make you Jason? he asked, pretending to count off on his fingers “On the 13th I mean”

“Oh, I’m ermtwenty-one”

“Hey, me too!” he exclaimed excitedly, and his eyes lit up “That’s awesome!”

“So, let me get this right” I asked, a little shocked by his revelation “We’re both twenty-one next week! Me on the thirteenth and you on the fourteenth”

“That’s right, it’s quite a milestone; we’ll have to celebrate it somehow!”

His voice suddenly tailed off as he realized that he was rushing ahead far too quickly. “Unless of course you’ve already got something planned that is” he quickly countered, frowning slightly “I don’t want to intrude or anything”

My heart was aching to tell him that he could intrude in my life as much as he wanted to. Just being with him was enough to set my pulse racing and a feeling of excitement surged over me as I realized that he didn’t intend our drink in the pub to be a one off.

“No, I’ve got nothing arranged” I answered eagerly “I’d love to do something”

Suddenly realizing how sad it must sound that I had nothing planned to celebrate my 21st birthday, I couldn’t stop the white lie that instantly slipped out of my mouth.

“The thing is I was going out with a few mates, but it got cancelled” I added, doing my best not to sound too desperate.

It was far too much to hope for that Nathan was gay, but right now just being around him was enough to satisfy me.

“Great! That means we can do something together” Nathan was continuing excitedly.

The mention of doing something ‘together’ caused an instant reaction in my trousers and it was quite a relief when the bus came sweeping around the corner.

“At last!” sighed Nathan, stamping his feet on the hardened snow “I’m freezing”

“Yeah me too” I agreed, cupping my hands together and filling them with warm air.

Even though he was paying me back with a drink for lending him the bus fare, Nathan still insisted on buying the tickets tonight as well and shaking my head in frustration, I wandered down the bus towards the back. He stood talking to the driver and once again I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the sensual curve of his backside as it pushed against the tight material of his jeans. Tonight, he'd put his hands in his front pockets as well and the effect it had was even more awesome than usual. What I wouldn’t give to run my hand over that wonderfully shaped mound of flesh that left me gasping with desire every time it was on display. I quickly averted my eyes so he wouldn’t follow my line of vision as he began walking towards me down the aisle and a few seconds later he sat down heavily on the seat beside me.

“At least it’s a bit warmer on here” he remarked, rubbing his hands together “I’m finally beginning to feel my fingers again”

“Yeah, me too” I agreed, glancing at my own reddened skin.

“That was the last time I’ll have to stand around in the freezing cold at bus stops anyway” he remarked, handing me my ticket.

My heart gave a sudden lurch and a feeling of panic welled up inside me as I tried to make sense of his words. For some reason, I just assumed he would be catching the bus on a regular basis as he had done this week and it never occurred to me that it was just a temporary thing. He must have seen the fleeting look of disappointment that crossed my face as he started to explain.

“My car’s been in the garage all week for its MOT. It needed a new part and they had to order it”.

He paused slightly, as if to let his words sink in, and as I quickly nodded my understanding he carried on.

“They rang me this afternoon to tell me it was ready! I can collect it tomorrow!”

His undeniable sense of excitement made it obvious that he loved his car and for a second or two I felt an uncharacteristic pang of envy.

“You’re dead lucky; I wish I had a car”

“No, we’re both dead lucky” he answered with a wide smile “Now I can give you a lift home from the station and you don’t need to stand at freezing cold bus stops either!”

The same look of embarrassment as before suddenly clouded his face as he realized that once again, he was rushing ahead far too quickly. “If you want me too that is….” he added, as his voice tailed away.

“Of course I do Nathan! That’d be brilliant. But Dryford’s miles out of your way!” I protested “You don’t need to do that!”

Wishing I could keep my mouth shut for just once, I mentally put my hands together, praying that he wouldn’t change his mind. Thankfully, I wasn’t disappointed, and he firmly reiterated what he’d just said.

“Honestly Jason, I really don’t mind. It’s not that much further!”

My eyes widened slightly in surprise. On the first night we’d met Nathan had asked me where the bus to Cranfield left from. He’d got off at the same stop last night too, so I presumed he lived in or around that area. Dryford was six or seven miles further on down narrow country roads and would take him at the very least an extra half hour to get there and back. Cranfield on the other hand was much nearer town. At one time it had been a separate village in its own right, but over the years the town had expanded, and its boundaries had become more and more blurred. It was now little more than a smart suburb of Hamborough and for some reason I had a preconceived idea that Nathan probably lived there in a nice modern flat with his girlfriend. It was time to find out and experience that feeling of crushing disappointment, but at the last moment my resolve crumbled, and I couldn’t even bring myself to ask if he had a girlfriend.

Instead, I confirmed what I already thought “Do you live in Cranfield Nathan?”

“Yeah just near the bus stop where I get off actually” he remarked casually “I can almost fall straight into bed!”

I couldn’t help smiling at the thought of Nathan in bed and he was quick to pick up on it. “What’s funny?” he asked

“Oh, I was just thinking” I remarked, desperately dredging up a silly excuse “You could get changed into your pyjamas on the bus if you brought them with you. Save you even more time!”

His unexpected reply came back as quick as a flash and I couldn’t quite believe my ears. “No need to! I don’t wear any”

The palms of my hands instantly became sweaty as I digested what he’d just said, and I was almost sick with desire. An image of Nathan without clothes floated before my eyes as I desperately tried to imagine what his naked body would look like. For the time being I couldn’t bring myself to look at him and briefly wondered if he was even aware of the effect his words were having on me. The throbbing down below intensified as my cock took on a life of its own, desperately trying to escape its enforced entrapment. A firm tap on the shoulder quickly brought me back to reality and I realized that Nathan was speaking to me again.

“Earth to Jason! Are you receiving?”

“What? Oh, sorry Nathan, I was miles away”

His face became creased in puzzlement and he shook his head slowly from side to side. “I could see that! But what were you thinking about?”

There was a few seconds silence and I reddened slightly, desperately trying to think of a plausible response. When the ghost of an excuse finally came to me, the words tumbled out almost incoherently as I struggled to play for time. “It was….erm…. really funny actually”

“What was?”

“You should have seen it Nathan!”

His eyes widened slightly as he tried to encourage me to explain and the next time he spoke a hint of impatience had crept into his voice.

“Seen what?”

“It was about two months ago” I began hesitantly “This old guy got on the bus. All he was wearing were a pair of striped pyjamas”

“Really?”

“Yeah, honest! He started arguing with the driver because he wouldn’t sell him a ticket and in the end, he suddenly stripped off his pyjamas, threw them at the driver and stormed off up the street. It just reminded me when I mentioned pyjamas and you not wearing any, that’s all”

My heart beat slightly faster and I nervously chewed on my bus ticket, hoping he wouldn’t say any more about it. I wasn’t normally a dishonest person, so it was hard to lie, but there was no way I could let him suspect what had really been on my mind. He seemed to accept my explanation for what it was, and I gave an inward sigh of relief, thankful that the moment of anxiety had passed by. As the bus sped through Cranfield, he changed the subject and any further discomfort quickly disappeared.

“Can you drive Jason?” he suddenly asked me.

“No, unfortunately I’ve never been able to afford lessons. I’d love to learn though!”

“I can help if you want. My uncle's a driving instructor. I might be able to arrange some cheap lessons and then I can take you out for some additional practice”

“You’re joking!"

“No really! I mean it”

“Nathan, that’d be fantastic!”

He laughed at the expression of surprise and delight that lit up my face, but a second or two later it dropped like a stone as a thought suddenly struck me.

“The thing is, even if I did learn to drive it still wouldn’t be any good though”

“Why not?”

“I’d never be able to afford a car!”

“That’s not the point Jason” he urged “You should still learn! One day you’re bound to be able to afford one. And look at the job opportunities it could open up for you”

He was right of course. Learning to drive was something I’d wanted to do for ages, but my finances just wouldn’t stretch that far. These days it was an expensive thing to do and it only became worse after passing your test. It was an amazing offer though and as my imagination slowly took over, I could see myself driving through the countryside in a gleaming sports car, its chrome fittings dazzling in the summer sun. My enthusiasm was obviously catching as I babbled on

“I wouldn’t mind something classic, you know, from the 50’s or 60’s. I absolutely love old cars”

“Really!” said Nathan excitedly “So do I”

Having discovered a mutual interest, we chatted enthusiastically on the subject until the bus arrived in Dryford some thirty minutes later.