A Different Love - 17. Chapter 17

It was Saturday evening and Connor and I were sitting in the Rose and Crown in Hamborough. He was due to leave for Ireland the following day and this was probably the last time we would be together. On the outside I was desperately trying to appear calm and matter of fact, but inwardly my stomach was churning at the prospect of saying goodbye. If truth be told, I didn’t think that Connor wanted a long drawn out farewell and I was pretty sure he was doing it mainly for me. Although we’d only been together for a short time, the potential for a long term relationship had always been there and Connor was all too aware that it was his decision to move that had crushed any chance of it developing. Despite several attempts, we hadn’t even managed to consummate our relationship and I was fully aware there was only one more opportunity left to do so. Strictly speaking, we were no longer a couple, but in my mind I couldn’t help but pretend we still were.

“This is it then Jason” he commented, raising his glass towards mine “Our last evening together”

I half smiled and held up my own glass, gently clinking it against his. An innocent bystander may have been forgiven for thinking that his words were delivered in a calm unemotional way, but it was obvious to me by the slight undeniable wobble in his voice, that he was struggling to keep his true feelings under control. I knew exactly how he felt! Ever since he’d told me about Ireland it had been extremely hard to keep a lid on the turmoil of mixed emotions that threatened to engulf me at any moment.

“I’m really sorry for causing us to break up Jason” he went on “I never wanted that”

My self defence mechanism immediately sprung into action and I shrugged my shoulders, trying unsuccessfully to play down the importance of our relationship.

“Oh well, it was good while it lasted Connor” I said, almost choking on the words “But now it’s over”

A fleeting look of pain flashed across his face and I immediately felt sorry for my offhand manner. In reality our relationship had meant an awful lot to me and I rushed in to lessen the impact.

“I’m sorry Connor, that was a stupid thing to say. I didn’t mean it to sound like that. You wouldn’t have asked me to go with you if you’d really wanted us to break up”

He smiled at me gratefully, knowing that I harboured no ill feeling towards him, despite his decision to leave. Nevertheless, I still desperately wished he wasn’t going, but it was far too late now and all we had left was the remainder of the evening.

“You will keep in touch though Jason, won’t you?” he was saying

“Yeah, of course”

I nodded my head sadly. It was one of those clichéd statements that were made at times like this, usually resulting in exactly the opposite. He was bound to meet someone else before long and whilst he probably wouldn’t forget me completely, I would sink slowly to the back of his mind, eventually slipping into the file marked ‘past relationships’. He brushed his arm lightly against mine and it was almost as though he’d been reading my mind.

“I’ll never forget you Jason!” he said in a voice choked with emotion “We were good together. I hope you find someone else soon, you deserve it”

The sincerity of his words tugged at my heartstrings and it was all I could do to hold back the tears. The urge to kiss him was almost unbearable and I would have given anything to be able to openly comfort him. He grabbed my arm and squeezed it lightly before glancing at his watch.

“Do you mind if we go Jason? I don’t want to drink too much beer, and besides” he added jokingly “I don’t think I dare go to the bar again!”

He was referring to Liz’s reaction earlier on when she discovered he was leaving tomorrow and it was our last night together. He’d returned to the table slightly red faced and although he wouldn’t tell me exactly what she’d said, I could well imagine. The next time we’d spoken, I explained to her that everything was fine between us and we were parting as friends. I don’t think she was fully convinced, but at least I persuaded her to cut him a bit of slack. He wasn’t aware of it though and the sudden clink of glasses nearby, coupled with his wide eyed look of apprehension, immediately told me who was approaching the table. Liz jokingly grabbed his shoulder and gently pushed him along the seat so she could sit down beside him.

“I suppose this is goodbye then” she sighed, rubbing his arm “I hope it works out for you in Ireland Connor”

He gaped at her in surprise but couldn’t fail to notice the fleeting smile that passed between us as I silently thanked her for being nice to him.

“Oh yeah, thanks” he mumbled, clearly unsure how to react to her seemingly abrupt change of attitude towards him “I’m sure it will"

She stood up and winked at me, before collecting our glasses and disappearing towards the bar.

“Wow! What did you say to her?” he spluttered in amazement “I thought she was preparing the firing squad”

“Nothing” I exclaimed innocently “I don’t remember saying anything”

He gazed at me with narrowed eyes and shook his head slightly, knowing full well that I was behind her change of heart.

“Mmm, now why don’t I believe you?” he countered, smiling broadly.

I glanced at him nervously and my heart began thumping wildly as I pondered how to phrase my next question. If we were ever going to be close, this was the final opportunity to make it happen and I mentally crossed my fingers, hoping for a positive response. Connor seemed to have this ridiculous idea in his mind that he was taking advantage of me, but this would only have been true had it been the opposite way round and he was the one urging us to sleep together. In the few seconds of silence that followed he gazed at me with a vaguely puzzled expression on his face, instantly picking up on my apprehension.

“Is something the matter Jason?”

“Not really” I began hesitantly “I....erm….I just wondered, that’s all”

“Just wondered what?” he asked, with a hint of bewilderment in his voice

“Will you be on your own tonight?” I asked him tentatively, raising my eyebrowsto try make my meaning clear “It’s just that we can’t really say a proper goodbye in here, can we?”

The smile dropped from his face as he realized what I meant and I could see the indecision burning in his eyes. He gave a deep sigh before answering and I held my breath in anticipation of his response.

“Look, you can come to the flat for a coffee if you like Jason” he said finally “But I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret”

“Don’t worry Connor, I won’t regret having a coffee” I replied flippantly, smiling at his serious face with twinkling eyes.

“You know what I mean Jason!” he growled warningly “I’m being serious now”

“Course I know what you mean! But don’t worry; I’m a big boy now”

“No need to boast!” he remarked, smiling slightly as he instinctively glanced down at my crotch.

It was clear from his tone of voice that he was fully aware I wanted much more than just coffee and I couldn’t hold off any longer.

“C’mon, let’s go!” I urged him “We’re wasting time”

He visibly relaxed as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and a wide smile returned to his face. The air had become heavy with nervous anticipation and I could almost feel the sexual tension building up between us. We quickly donned our coats and hurriedly waving to Liz, ran out of the pub hand in hand, with only one purpose spurring us on. Ten minutes later we were standing outside Connor’s flat and I fidgeted impatiently whilst his shaking hands struggled to turn the key. The door suddenly flew open and I pushed him inside, slamming it shut behind me. All the pent up feelings of passion and desire suddenly exploded and we both discarded our coats in a heap on the floor. Within seconds Connor had pushed his lips against mine and I responded hungrily, immediately becoming locked in a passionate embrace. Briefly pulling away, he lifted my arms above my head and in one fluid movement, removed my T-shirt, quickly discarding it behind him. Unable to hold back any longer, my fingers grabbed at the buttons of his shirt, frantically unfastening them. The smooth material slid back easily over his shoulders and down his arms, gradually exposing the smooth white skin of his muscular chest. My kisses left a barely definable trail of moisture as they snaked slowly downwards, pausing briefly to let my tongue suckle the protruding skin of his erect nipples. My shaking fingers unbuckled his belt and drew the zip downwards, gradually revealing the tantalizing sight of his white briefs, stretched tightly around the ever growing bulge that pushed its way urgently forwards. Released from their constraints, his trousers snaked their way downwards, landing unceremoniously in a heap around his ankles. He kicked them away and hurriedly removed his socks, finally standing before me naked, save for the tight white briefs that perfectly hugged his slim figure. As I stood back and stared in awe at his near perfect body, he wasted no time unfastening my trousers. His fingers dived down each side, simultaneously drawing down my underwear. His eyes widened as my cock sprung forwards and he immediately dropped to his knees in front of me.

As he took me in his mouth the touch of his probing tongue curling around the head of my throbbing member sent me spiralling into ecstasy. As Connor expertly continued to blow me the sheer unadulterated bliss of climax arrived far too soon and unable to hold off any longer, my last minute warning resulted in several streams of warm creamy liquid exploding unceremoniously down his throat. I mouthed the word sorry but he just grinned before quickly wiping away the dripping liquid with the back of his hand.

“Connor, that was amazing!!” I gasped excitedly“Let me do the same for you”

I started to kneel down in front of him but he gently pulled me back up.

“I think we ought to continue this in the bedroom” he exclaimed, now clearly eager to take things further.

Excitement welled up inside me and every nerve end in my body tingled with fear and apprehension as I readily agreed. The time had finally come and I was about to lose my virginity at long last! He kissed me again before grasping my hand and rubbing it slowly up and down the front of his briefs.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” he murmured seductively

As I gently traced the outline of his erect cock through the thin material, my answer needed no thought whatsoever and I quickly nodded my agreement. Despite my willingness to comply, I couldn’t quite hide the look of nervous anticipation on my face and he was quick to reassure me.

“There’s no need to worry Jason, we won’t do anything you don’t want to”

“It’s not that Connor” I answered worriedly

“What then?”

“It’s just that I’m not sure what to do, you know, to make it ok for you!”

He smiled at the worried expression on my face and hurriedly reassured me.

“Don’t worry Jason, everyone feels like that when it’s their first time! You’ll be fine, honestly”

My stomach began turning somersaults as he took my hand and led me along the hallway towards the bedroom. Until we entered I’d almost forgotten he was leaving tomorrow, but the starkness of the room was a harsh reminder that he would soon be gone. The large double bed seemed to jump out at me as my eyes swept the almost empty room and Connor gently steered me towards it.

“Sit down Jason!”

His sudden forthright tone of voice made me meekly follow his instructions and I quickly sat down on the edge of the bed facing him. He stood in front of me so that his briefs filled my line of vision and then he grasped my head, gently pushing my face against the shape of his hard shaft. I opened my mouth as wide as possible and ran my teeth along the entire length of his cock, gently biting him through the thin material. His body stiffened and he gasped with intense pleasure as the sensation reverberated throughout his body.

Finally I could stand it no longer and desperate to reveal his full nakedness, I released him and hooked my fingers inside the hem of his briefs, slowly drawing them down. He did nothing to stop me and before long a thick bush of dark pubic hair slowly revealed itself, gradually followed by his long thick cock that instantly sprung upwards as soon as it was released. I moved forwards and leisurely kissed its entire length before hungrily filling my mouth with his heavy balls. After a while I released him and gazed upwards at his flushed face. His expression of sheer pleasure filled me with joy and I knew that my earlier worries about not being able to satisfy him were so far unfounded. I grasped his thighs and pulling him towards me once again, eagerly opened my mouth and took his long thick shaft between my lips. My tongue immediately began licking the thick ridge beneath the head and I sucked and licked his full length in an absolute frenzy. I felt his legs almost buckle from the sensation and he unexpectedly pulled back and released himself. As he withdrew all I could do was hungrily lick the dripping pre cum from his slit before it ran down his long shaft.

“Lay down, Jason” he murmured huskily, gently pushing me onto my back.

I immediately concurred and almost at once he straddled my body and all I could focus on was his gorgeous cock, dancing up and down in front of me. I could barely speak and when I eventually managed to communicate, my words came out in a kind of breathless whisper.

“Connor…..please ….I want you to make love to me! I need to feel you inside me!”

“Are you sure Jason? You don’t have to do this”

“Yes, I’m sure Connor. Really! I’m ready…..I know I am”

Without saying another word he leant over to the bedside cabinet and fished about inside the draw, eventually removing a small jar. For a second or two I wondered what he was doing, then winced as I felt the soft gel being rubbed between my buttocks. My body stiffened and I gasped in shock as he pushed a finger slowly inside me, gently probing me ever further.

"Is everything ok Jason?" he asked, as my heart thudded with apprehension and fear “How does that feel?

"It's fine, honestly" I quickly reassured him, struggling to hold back the discomfort

"Ok. Just try to relax" came his soothing reply “Make sure to tell me if I’m hurting you?”

Within seconds he gradually began to insert a second finger, ensuring that he slowly massaged and lubricated me with an ever-widening penetrative movement. His sensual touch left me almost sick with desire, knowing that I was about to experience the most mind-blowing experience of my life. There was a sudden barely discernible tearing sound as he ripped open a condom packet and I gazed at him nervously as he rolled it over his swollen penis.

His voice overflowed with pent up emotion as he checked with me a final time.

“Jason, are you sure you want to do this? It might hurt a bit at first. Just tell me at any time if you want to stop”

My response was filled with a mixture of fear and anticipation as I urged him on

“It’s fine Connor. Please, go ahead”

The next thing I knew he grasped my legs and lifted them over his shoulders, shuffling towards me until his sheathed cock rested inches from my buttocks. He smeared the condom with a thick layer of lubricant before pushing more inside me. Within seconds he began inching his way between my buttocks and as I cried out in pain, he withdrew slightly to ease my discomfort. He patiently tried several more times, gradually penetrating deeper and deeper until he was fully inside me. The pain slowly eased away, quickly replaced by an intense feeling of pleasure. As our bodies began moving together in an ever-increasing rhythm of ecstasy, I was lost in a sea of unbridled passion, unable to control my emotions. I could feel Connor’s intense desire as he pumped away inside me, completely and utterly intoxicated by our lovemaking. After a while he eased off slightly and I instinctively knew he was near to climax. Within seconds his frantic pounding had resumed, quickly building to an earth shattering crescendo. As he finally shot his load every muscle in my body seemed to stiffen until finally we collapsed in a heap of tangled arms and legs, our chests heaving as we struggled to fight for breath.

The culmination of our lovemaking left me floating on a cloud of euphoria, desperate to experience everything that Connor had to offer before it was too late. I rested my head against his shoulder as we lay together side by side in the afterglow of sex and he sighed deeply, returning my smile of satisfaction.

“That was awesome Connor! Thank you so much” I whispered, tenderly kissing his lips.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it” he said, laughing wistfully “I couldn’t go without giving you a leaving present, could I?”

“You certainly managed to do that!” I answered, still blown away by our lovemaking “It was the best present I’ve ever had!”

“It’s just a shame it has to end so soon” he continued “We could’ve made it even longer”

I couldn’t help sniggering at his choice of words and the fact that he didn’t even realize what he’d said.

“We already did!” I quipped, looking downwards.

A smile broke out on his face as he followed my line of vision, but he quickly became serious once again.

“I mean it Jason! If only you could stay the night……”

He kissed me softly on the forehead and his hand slowly caressed the contours of my body. The idea was incredibly appealing and in a split second my decision was made.

“Do you really mean that Connor?”

“Yeah, of course I do!”

“Then I will!” I exclaimed excitedly “I will stay”

His face lit up with pleasure and a warm feeling coursed through my body. His gentle touch sent me crazy with desire as his hand moved downwards and began stroking me seductively. Unfortunately, there was one thing that had to be done before we could progress any further and I reluctantly moved his hand away and sat on the edge of the bed in an attempt to gather my thoughts.

“Are you sure you want to stay Jason?” he asked, rubbing my shoulder “It’s just that you seem to be a little hesitant”

Now that I’d committed myself there was no way I was backing out. I wanted this more than anything and I chewed my lip nervously, briefly wondering how mum and dad would react to my decision.

“Course I want to stay Connor, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be! It’s just that I need to do something first”

I stood up, and suddenly feeling embarrassed by my nudity, headed quickly for the hallway. Clothes were strewn in every direction, but I swiftly located my mobile phone and dialled the number for home. After a short while mum answered and I desperately tried to sound nonchalant and casual, despite the fact that my heart was pounding crazily.

“Hello mum, its Jason”

She greeted me cheerfully and I forged ahead undaunted. “Just to let you know, I won’t be back tonight. I’m staying over at Connie’s”

There was silence on the other end as she took in what I’d said, and I could well imagine the expression on her face as she gazed at dad in bewilderment. My throat became increasingly dry as I waited for a response, fully expecting to hear a strong tone of disapproval in her voice. It wasn’t as though I needed their permission anymore, but I had to let them know where I was and perhaps sub consciously a small part of me still craved their approval. The amount of time that she kept me waiting had obviously given her the chance to discuss the matter with dad and when she eventually answered, I was surprised to find that her attitude was one of cautious acceptance and not the outright disapproval that I’d expected.

“That’s fine love. You will be careful though, won’t you?”

It was a little late for a lesson in sex education and I couldn’t help smiling to myself as I tried to keep the amusement out of my voice.

“Yeah, of course mum!”