A Different Love - 27. Chapter 27

It was 2pm when we set off for the cinema in Nathan's car. The afternoon was crisp and clear and the weak sun was already fairly low in the sky. The hum of a low flying aeroplane passing overhead made me shade my eyes, as I watched the thin plume of smoke trailing in its wake.

“It was nice of your mum to invite me to lunch” Nathan remarked, as we drove through the village.

"They obviously like you!” I exclaimed, shaking my head in mock surprise. “Can’t think why though”

He nudged me playfully in the ribs with his elbow “I'll have you know I’m a very likeable sort of guy”

I gave a mock sigh and pretended to reluctantly agree “Yeah, I suppose.....”

He glanced at me with a smile on his face and shook his head. In reality I was over the moon at the way mum and dad had welcomed Nathan with open arms, but the nagging doubt that something wasn't quite right refused to go away. I wondered now if I'd imagined the looks between them, but decided I was probably over analysing the situation as usual. I pushed the thought from my mind and concentrated on what Nathan was saying.

“Seriously though” he continued “You’re really lucky, having a great mum and dad like yours. I wish mine were even half as good”

I sighed and thought about all the times that Jim Brown had been at our house. He always seemed like a nice enough guy and it was hard to square that with how Nathan described him.

"C’mon Nathan, surely they can't be that bad!"

He sighed and shook his head. "I suppose I'm being way too harsh on mum" he conceded with a sad smile "She’s suffered from depression for years and now she does everything he says. She doesn't seem to have a mind of her own anymore"

I opened my mouth to speak but before I could say anything more he carried on, almost as if I wasn't there.

"And as for dad......I'm convinced he doesn't even like me anymore!"

He sounded on the edge of despair and his voice trembled with emotion. Had it been Connor sitting beside me I would have stroked his leg to comfort him and given him a quick kiss, but as it was all I dared to do was briefly squeeze his shoulder.

"I'm really sorry Nathan, I didn't think it was that bad"

"Yeah, afraid it is. Sorry to lay it all on you like this Jase. I expect it's just what you need from a new friend!"

His self sarcasm was evident and he obviously felt bad for offloading his problems on me.

"Nathan, don't worry about it!" I quickly reassured him "You can talk to me about it anytime. That's what friends are for"

He smiled at me gratefully and I tentatively carried on.

"Is there any chance things might improve in the future?"

He gave a deep sigh and shrugged his shoulders hopelessly "I doubt it. Dad and I don't really talk to each other these days without arguing"

"But what about your mum?"

"If I can manage to see her when she's alone, we usually get along ok" he answered with a faint smile "But most of the time she's not alone"

He gazed at me with a look of forlorn resignation on his face and all I could do was reiterate my previous offer.

"Like I said before Naith, if you need someone to talk to...."

I left the sentence unfinished to make him aware that I didn't just mean now and he smiled at me and nodded, confirming his understanding. He lapsed into silence and in an attempt to cheer him up, I quickly concentrated on something more positive.

"I'm so glad you're coming for Christmas Day"

His gave a wide smile and his voice was full of appreciation "It was really good of your mum and dad to ask me. I didn't expect that at all"

I was secretly thrilled that Nathan would be there on Christmas day. It wasn't particularly my favourite day of the year as all it normally consisted of was eating far too much and lounging about watching countless repeats on television. Instead of being cooped up in the house all day, what I really wanted to do was eat Christmas lunch and then take a leisurely stroll in the countryside. I'm sure that this year Nathan would accompany me and I could dream of holding hands as we wandered down some deserted country lane.

With a jolt I realised we were almost there and in a short while we would drive through Cranfield where Nathan's flat was. It had been dark both times I'd travelled on the bus with him, so I'd never actually seen where he lived in the daylight.

"Don't forget to show me where your flat is" I quickly reminded him

"Yeah course, we're not far off now"

The approach into Cranfield was a long, narrow tree-lined road. Flickering images of the snow covered fields could be glimpsed through the bare branches on both sides of the road and intermittent bursts of sunlight reflected off the windscreen. As we rounded the next corner the first houses came into view and I sat upright in my seat, ready for Nathan to point out where his flat was.

Cranfield had once been a small village on the outskirts of Hamborough, separated by fields and countryside. The town, however, had grown at an alarming rate over the last few years and now it was little more than a smart suburb. Nathan checked in his rear-view mirror that there was no traffic behind us, before slowing down considerably as an estate of smart new dwellings came into view. An apartment building stood some way back from the road and he pointed to the ground floor at the far end.

"That's it Jason. The one with the red door"

It looked decidedly expensive and up market and I would've loved to have seen inside. I wanted to know everything I could about Nathan and seeing inside his home could only add to what I'd learnt so far. As if he knew what I was thinking his next words made my heart skip a beat.

“We'll have to call on the way back and I'll show you around Jase”

“Yeah, I’d love that” I answered enthusiastically

As we drove into Hamborough the afternoon sun was slowly disappearing behind the buildings and several passing cars already had their lights on. I thought back to Nathan’s earlier comments about his parents and wondered why there was so much animosity between them. To say that one of your parents 'didn't even like you' was pretty serious and Nathan was undoubtedly cut up by the whole situation. It sounded as if it was mostly his father but on the occasions I'd met him at my house he’d always seemed perfectly pleasant and amiable. I didn't for a second doubt Nathan's word, but couldn't help wondering what had caused their problems in the first place. If only I could get him to talk to me I'm sure it would help, but I couldn't force him to open up if he didn't want to. Before I had a chance to think about the situation any further, Nathan had turned into the large car park opposite the cinema and pulled into an empty bay.

The Odeon cinema in Hamborough was a large 1930’s, art deco building that had definitely seen better days. The once grand entrance was shabby and several of the white tiles that covered the walls were cracked and broken. One of the giant illuminated letters announcing its name flickered on and off intermittently and the wide semi circle of steps leading to the main entrance looked tired and worn. A number of people were going in and as we joined them I looked on enviously as a courting couple held hands and tenderly kissed each other, desperately wishing I could do the same with Nathan. We bought our tickets and as we walked towards the kiosk, he turned towards me enquiringly.

“Do you want something to eat or drink Jase?”

“Yeah, I’ll have a coke please”

“Shall I get some popcorn as well?” he suggested.

I nodded in agreement and offered him some money. Waving my hand away, he bought two cokes and a huge carton of popcorn and we made our way through the double swing doors marked ‘Entrance to Stalls’ in green illuminated lettering. Whenever I came here it was like being transported back to a bygone era. The auditorium was full of faded splendour and in between the shadows cast by the dim lights, peeling paint was evident and the material on several of the seats was ripped and torn. We sat down in the middle of a row towards the back and I sipped my coke, waiting for the lights to go down and the film to begin.

“Have you been here before Jase?” Nathan asked.

“Yeah, loads of times” I answered “What about you?”

“Oh, just once, when I first moved here”

I fell silent and didn't question him any further as he'd no doubt been accompanied by some gorgeous girl. I'd foolishly lulled myself into thinking that if I didn't mention girls it still meant there was a chance he could be gay. It was obviousfrom the way he said it, however, that he hadn’t been alone. Determined to ignore the persistent voice inside my head urging me to ask for more details, I leant over towards him and remarked in a low voice.

"I love coming here"

"Yeah, me too" he agreed "There’s something about the atmosphere in these old places. I can’t really explain it”

I knew exactly what he meant. The cinema was due to be closed early in the new year in favour of a big new leisure complex being built on the edge of town. There was going to be a state of the art cinema as well as a swimming pool, theatre and ice rink. Personally, I preferred the old place. Although it was definitely past its best Nathan was right, it possessed a special inexplicable atmosphere that would be impossible to recreate elsewhere. I'd spent quite a bit of time in here, mostly alone, so the place was a bit like a second home to me. Today however, it was good to be with someone else for a change, especially someone as good looking as Nathan. The lights slowly began to fade, and I smiled to myself as the usual advertisements came on. By now I could recite them almost word perfect!

Nathan nudged me gently in the side, offering the carton of popcorn.

“Help yourself Jase, you haven’t eaten any yet”

“Oh thanks” I whispered, dipping my hand into the huge carton.

As the film started, I sat back in my seat and began to relax. I felt closer to Nathan than ever, sitting next to him in the dark surroundings of the cinema. I could almost feel his hand running up and down my leg seductively, causing shivers of lust and desire to flow up and down my body with increasing intensity. My eyes slowly closed and within seconds I imagined the two of us, lying naked together side by side, my hand gently caressing the firm protruding muscles of his stomach.

“That must feel amazing” exclaimed Nathan suddenly.

"Oh yeah, it does!" I inadvertently replied in a loud voice

I was instantly horrified and sank down in my seat with embarrassment. For a frantic second I thought he’d read my mind and discovered what I was thinking. It took me several more seconds to realize with relief that he meant something that was happening on screen and I suddenly realised I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about.

Several people motioned for us to be quiet and Nathan gazed at me with a bemused expression on his face.

“Don’t snore so loud next time, will you Jase?” he whispered, desperately trying to stifle a laugh.

I turned towards him with a horrified look on my face and tugged at his sleeve. “I wasn’t, was I?"

“No, of course not!” he whispered, squeezing my arm to reassure me. “I was only joking”

I sighed with relief as he went on, ignoring a hiss from someone nearby to be quiet.

“It’s just that you seemed as if you were a million miles away. Are you ok?” he asked in a concerned voice.

“Yeah, I’m fine” I whispered back “Honest!”

He began concentrating on the film once again and I desperately tried to do the same, failing miserably. This time it was Connor's face that appeared in my mind's eye and thoughts of the night we'd made love together immediately filled my head. I shifted self consciously in my seat as an erection the size of a tent pole tried to thrust its way forwards. Thank god I was sitting down in the dark and no one could see! Once again my thoughts returned to Nathan, as they constantly seemed to do ever since I'd met him. It was difficult to believe that someone I hardly knew could have such a powerful and all-consuming effect on me and I was surprised to admit that even just looking at him turned me on. This was a new and confusing experience for me as I’d never felt this way about anyone before. True, Connor and I had been good together and the sex had been amazing. I thought that my feelings for him had been incredibly strong, but they were nothing like this. He hadn't filled my thoughts, night and day, the way that Nathan did. He hadn't sent me into a frenzy every time he touched or brushed against me and he hadn't made me feel physically sick with desire. I’d often admired someone from afar before, fantasizing about what could happen if we were alone together. This, however, was a very real situation, with the object of my infatuation almost constantly nearby. Unfortunately, above all else, there was one significant fact that couldn't be denied. Nathan most definitely wasn't Connor! He wouldn't pursue or lust after me like Connor had done and there was little or no chance that my feelings of passion and desire towards him would ever be reciprocated. Somehow, I had to take control of the situation and learn to kerb my needs and desires when I was with him. Although it would be incredibly difficult, there was no point in building up hope that this thing I shared with Nathan could ever be more than just a close friendship. I resolved to try and ignore the incredibly strong feelings I felt towards him, leaving me with the near impossible task of treating him as just a friend.

Before I knew it the film had finished and people were beginning to stand up. I turned around in my seat as the sound of a familiar laugh floated towards me and was horrified to see Craig from work staring straight at me. He was with a crowd of mates and as they jostled and pushed each other along the nearby row of seats, he tilted his head up to acknowledge me. Within seconds he noticed Nathan sitting beside me with no one else nearby, and I could almost see the cogs in his brain working overtime. His normal self-satisfied expression instantly changed, and a look of scorn and derision plastered itself across his face. I completely ignored him and turned back around towards Nathan, but not before an icy grip of fear had wrapped itself around my heart. The last thing I wanted to do was give him any ammunition to taunt me at work, especially with something that could be construed as even remotely gay.

We waited until most people had gone and then Nathan stood up, stretching and yawning.

“A really good film” he commented, glancing at me with an impassive look on his face.

“Yeah, it was” I agreed, gazing back at him warily.

In reality, I could hardly remember a single scene and although I was fairly certain that Nathan knew it too, thankfully he didn't say a word.