The Discovery - 32. Chapter 32

Elizabeth Adams was making her way through her house, checking the closets for her black purse. Over the last two days she has spent her time with the children, caring for their needs as they worked through their grief. Chase had fallen into a silent depression the day after David died and muttered about not wanting to have a birthday this year. Carter kept insisting he go see Matthew even though she had told him over and over that Matt’s house was too full with Helen, Al, Stephanie and Nathan all staying there. She and Troy had offered to let Steph and her husband and the baby at their house, but Kyle wouldn’t hear of it. Emily became clingy and was never more than a few feet away yesterday and it was something of a relief that today she was too busy getting dressed to be under her mother’s feet. On top of all that, she was dealing with a grieving husband who was taking the loss worse than the children, and she couldn’t blame him.

When Troy wasn’t home, he was running around helping Kyle and the others prepare for today’s funeral. It seemed that once word got around town about David’s death, everyone they ran into wanted to help or play a part in some way for his funeral. Two different choirs offered to perform during the service at one point, prompting Troy to forward the offers to Harry Whitman for him to sort out. The church, Saint Paul’s Episcopal church, would be the site, but instead of the small chapel in the building normally reserved for weddings and funerals, it was felt that a public service would require the use of the sanctuary which could house over a thousand people. Minor details were delegated to Harry to solve as far as the service was concerned. Kyle’s main decisions about having a public service and that it would be a closed casket service were all that mattered to him in the end. Troy worked with Harry and Sam as far as preparing that while Kyle and Jacob spent their time with their guests after they made the major decisions about David’s funeral.

Brian spent his time answering calls from neighbors in the area while Tyler fielded calls from local media. Andy, true to his word, spent most of his time at the orchard, keeping an eye on Kyle and Jacob and making sure they were not overburdening themselves. When he wasn’t cooking meals for the family, he was making sure the children were being taken care of. For Kyle’s sake, he walked with him through the orchard. That was one of the few places where Kyle seemed more like himself even if his grief was still just a breath away most of the time. He walked with his friend and mostly listened to him whenever he said anything. Sometimes, he brought up memories of their childhood out in the trees or recounted a humorous story about David. Andy patiently listened and smiled along with Kyle through each story and gave him a supportive hug whenever Andy saw the tears return to his eyes.

Helen and Albert were indispensable when Kyle or Jacob became too caught up in their grief to be able to effectively parent. They spent the majority of their three days stay with Matthew and Aaron along with Stephanie and Nate. Little Melinda was too young to fully grasp what was happening, only that there were people around to give her attention. Helen went out of her way to not abuse the little girl of that notion and doted on her. Al helped out where he could and put his foot down when he insisted that he was not going to allow the grieving family to do any more than they needed to. He made sure everyone stayed fed throughout the day, supplying Andy with everything he needed to cook meals for Kyle and the others. When not doing that, he took the children on walks or wherever they wanted to go to keep their minds occupied.

Jacob spent some of his time with the children. Often times he would take a notepad and wander into the orchard for an hour or two by himself. Colt kept busy making sure that the honor guard would arrive on time and know what was being planned. Colt, ever the marine officer, planned their arrival and departure from the service and advised Kyle and Jacob on what to expect throughout the day of the funeral. At night, Jacob held Kyle close in bed, reminding him of their love and devotion to each other.

When Liz finally found the small black purse that she had been looking for, she returned to the bedroom she shared with Troy. When she stepped through the doorway she paused as her heart caught in her throat. Sitting on the bed, hunched over, Troy sat there staring at the floor with a sorrowful look on his face. He was already dressed in a black suit with his tie nearly in place. So deep was the sadness in his eyes, all she wanted was to take it away from him. Liz could deal with the pain her children were feeling. While their grief was important, she knew it would abate over time. Their memories of David would slowly dwindle over time as their teens and adulthood would make newer, stronger memories to cover up the hurt they were feeling now. But with her husband it was different. David had been a large part of his entire life. While he was pushing aside his grief to help Kyle and Jacob and putting on a brave face for his children, he was compartmentalizing his personal loss. Quietly, she went around the edge of the bed and sat down next to him.

Troy looked at her as she joined him and offered her a sad smile. “Is it time?”

She nodded, somewhat reluctantly. “Kyle informed me that Helen and Al were sending a car to get us soon.”

“Good,” he replied with a slow nod.

She smirked at his offer and shook her head. “All you need to worry about is getting through the day. I’ll handle the rest.”

He went back to staring at the floor as he blinked away new tears. “Everything feels so different. I woke up today, knowing what was going to happen, and I just wanted to stay in bed.”

“That’s understandable.” She leaned closer to him and added, “you know, it’s okay if you don’t want to go.”

Troy immediately shook his head at the suggestion. “No. I owe it to him. And to Kyle and the others.” He slowly rose to his feet. “Doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy.”

She joined him, putting her hand in his. “Saying goodbye to someone you love never is, sweetheart. But that’s why we go to these things. Because we can do it around everyone else who we love and who loved him.”

He smiled slightly and nodded. Turning to his wife, he kissed her gently and said, “I love you. Thank you for being with me.”

She took his hand, and they walked out of their room. “It’s time to go,” she called out to her children. “Chase, make sure Emily and Carter are ready.” When she heard an affirmative response the two of them descended the stairs. “Just so you know, I’ll be sitting behind you at the service.”

“Behind me? Why not next to me?”

“New text message from Jacob.” She pulled her phone out of her purse and showed it to him. “You’ll be sitting in the front row, first seat on the aisle next to Jacob. He’ll be next to Kyle, then Andy and then Brian.”

Troy nodded. To him it made sense that it should be that way. “Are you alright with that?”

She smiled at the silly notion that he would want to be sitting anywhere else than with his best friends. “Sure. It’s where you should be, after all.”

****

Jacob sat glowering out the window in the backseat of the stretch limousine along with Kyle, Helen and Al. The children, along with Stephanie, Nathan, and Colt, were in the limo behind them. He only just learned that a similar limo had been sent to retrieve Troy’s family and Andy’s. “We’re going to look like elitist assholes.”

Albert leaned back in his seat next to Helen. “No one will mind.” The three men were dressed in black suits while Helen wore a black skirt, matching jacket and a vintage pillbox hat with a fishnet veil. “The last thing I want is for you guys driving yourselves to the funeral of your own father. It’s the least I can do for you.”

Kyle laid a gentle hand on Jacob’s. “We appreciate the offer, Al. Jacob’s not used to things like this.” He leaned closer to his husband and whispered, “it’s just for one day.”

Jacob closed his eyes and sighed. He had not wanted this day to happen. He wanted to go back to when David was still making breakfast, wandering through the orchard and giving him the kind of love and affection that he had craved from his own father. In the last few days while they prepared for this moment, the house had felt so empty without David’s presence. Every room seemed colder. Darker. Worse, he had to listen to the love of his life cry every night when Kyle thought he was asleep. The comfort Jacob could offer him never seemed enough to keep it from happening again. Ultimately, he knew they both needed time to adapt to their new normal.

It was two hours until the funeral was set to begin when the limos pulled up to the steps St. Paul’s. As they stepped out into the late morning sunshine, Troy’s family and then Andy’s drove up. Colt exited the second limousine last, dressed in his dress uniform, holding Aaron’s hand. Sam arrived a few moments later, joining them quietly and moving to be near Troy and his family. The group milled around for a few moments waiting until another black car, followed by a hearse arrived, stopping near the entrance to the church.

Everyone fell silent and turned to watch as four marines and two sailors in dress uniforms stepped out of the first car. The six men fell into line when the senior enlisted member gave the order. Kyle and the others watched as they stepped to the back of the hearse. The driver of the hearse came around, opened the back door and nodded to the honor guard who moved in careful formation. Slowly, with an air of professionalism and reverence, the honor guard slowly carried David’s flag-draped coffin up the steps and into the church as they had rehearsed the day before.

Once they had passed, Kyle slowly followed behind, all other thoughts faded away as he watched them take his father into the cathedral and placed him on a prepared stand next to the altar. The marines slowly draped back the top of the flag and moved aside as Bishop Whitman stepped towards the coffin. After intoning a silent blessing, he opened the coffin as the marines and sailors moved to stand silent guard. Behind them, in the hallway, they could hear the sound of the deacons closing the doors to the church.

Kyle turned to everyone and said quietly, “Harry is keeping the doors closed for half an hour. All of you have the chance now to say your private goodbyes.” He turned to Tanner, who had been the first to ask him. “You don’t need to say anything out loud and you don’t have to go up there if you don’t want to.” He tried to smile reassuringly but a moment of grief made the smile waver. “He’ll understand if you can’t. Just go, one by one and when you’re done, you can take your seats. Me and the guys are going to be at door receiving everyone.”

Once he was done talking, he moved to the side as the children, Colt, Jacob, Andy and Troy moved towards the coffin to say their final goodbyes. His thoughts turned inward as he stared at nothing, only wondering how he was going to be ready for what was coming. The last two days had been a challenge in getting through his grief and learning how to live in this newer, quieter world he found himself in. He was so thankful for Jacob being there with him throughout the pain and anger he had been feeling.

He felt more than saw Stephanie approach him in her black dress and offered him a small yet warm smile. “You didn’t want to go up there yourself?”

“No,” he said quietly. “I already saw him once since…” He took a breath and let it out to stop the tide of emotions he felt coming even if a few more tears escaped. “I don’t… want to see him like that again. I’m choosing to remember him how he was.”

She hugged him in compassion. “I’m so sorry, Kyle. This couldn’t have happened at a worse time for you.”

His smile was genuine if laced with grief as he hugged her closely. Steeling his heart, he prepared himself for hearing many platitudes like that in the next hour. “It’ll be alright. You know, he loved you too. You gave him one of the greatest gifts anyone could have given him.”

Steph managed a smile through her tears, remembering how happy he always was to see her, even after only meeting her for a few minutes. “All thanks to you, baby daddy.”

Brian stepped up behind Helen as she stood off to the side, speaking in hushed tones with Al, Tyler and Sean. “It’s probably going to be a lot more crowded in here than we expected.”

Helen turned to him with a smirk and a nod. “Darling, I expect nothing less than standing room only. After the news report, I’m sure a lot of people will be wanting to come to pay their respects.”

With a curious look, he asked her quietly, “Andy told me what you said about David and Peter. That was an interesting story.”

“It had the virtue of being true,” she replied with a slight shrug. Helen waited for him to say more and when he just looked at her with an inquisitive look she smirked. “Go ahead and ask.”

“Well,” Brian shrugged. “I remember as a kid they tended to be very close. That was before… you know… we all found out he was… You know. More like me and Andy. I was just wondering if you knew just how close they were?”

Helen’s lips parted in a tiny grin before she said with a casual tone, “I remember many, many years ago when Kyle and Andrew were just toddlers, and we were all at the park having a day out for fun. Dave and Pete were out there playing with the children while Lisa and I were talking. I recall at a certain point she turned her attention to our husbands, and she said the oddest thing. ‘I’m really glad that I like David.’ It piqued my curiosity so I asked her why and she said, ‘I get the feeling that if I ever made Pete decide between me or David, I might not win.’” She watched Brian take in that story before adding, “now, it’s best to leave such speculations on how close their friendship was behind. They’re all passed now and there’s no use playing guessing games about such things. But I am confident that wherever David is now, his friend was probably there waiting for him.”

Brian smirked slightly. “Good point.” Before he could say anything else, he got the signal from Jacob, and he knew he had to step away. “Here comes the mob.”

Harry closed the casket solemnly and nodded to the honor guard who replaced the flag over where it had been opened. The public who would come in would only get to see the large picture of David’s smiling face that hung in the background.

Kyle, Jacob, Troy, Andy and Brian returned to the main entrance to the sanctuary and formed a receiving line just before the doors opened. Kyle put on his best face as he stuffed his personal grief away for a while so he could deal with what was coming next. He did not have long to wait as people began entering. Old friends of David came in who showered them with compassion and telling them about what an amazing man he had been. Men and women who they used to go to school with who came to show their sympathy and share their fond memories of his father. Rosette, along with her family came. Kyle was touched when she hugged him tightly as he greeted her. Monica, along with everyone else in his office came, offering genuine sympathy and compassion for all of them. Jacob’s staff along with many of Troy’s employees all came to show their respects. Men, old and young clasped Kyle’s hands with tears in their eyes as they extolled the memory of his father. Randle and Claudia O’Neal gave Jacob and Kyle the warmest hugs and offered heartfelt sympathy for them which touched Jacob deeply. Jacob also got to meet his youngest cousin Tim who, while just meeting Jacob and his husband for the first time, treated them as family would.

Colt stood nearby Aaron and Matt where their reserved seats were in the sanctuary. Kyle had asked if he wanted to join them in the receiving line, but Colt declined. He didn’t want to draw attention to himself and away from Kyle and the others. As the sanctuary began to fill, people milled about and met in small groups speaking softly with each other. It was not an uncommon occurrence to hear a few muffled sobs and friends sharing embraces. A few people from the local area who knew Colt from the frequent visits he and David used to make to the local restaurant in town on Saturday mornings all took a moment to say hello and offer their sympathies to him as well. A few of them chatted with him until they went to find seats for the service. Through it all, Colt remained stoic and somewhat protective of the boys. Engrossed with his self-imposed duty, he didn’t notice when Helen and Al came up behind him.

“Colonel,” Helen’s soft and elegant voice broke through his inner thoughts.

He turned his head to meet her gaze. “Ma’am?”

With a hint of a conspiratorial smirk she said, “I have someone who would like to see you, if you have the time.”

Colt was mildly surprised someone would ask first before just coming up to him in the swiftly filling room. “Who?” Helen turned and guided through the growing crowd to where Al was standing speaking to a young man in a marine dress uniform. At first, Colt wondered if it was part of David’s honor guard before Al saw him approach and motioned to the marine in front of him. He was unprepared for the face that turned to regard him as he got closer. “Tony?”

The young, enlisted man gave a proper salute before replying. “Father.”

Colt returned the salute casually before asking in confusion, “what are you doing here?”

“Following my orders, sir,” his son replied.

“Orders?”

Al smiled slightly and explained. “I remembered you saying your son was stationed at Camp Pendleton. On my way here, I contacted a friend who pulled some strings.”

Helen smirked slightly and added, “Al and I just wanted to thank you and we felt it was a good idea for the two of you to reconnect.” The last part she said with a suggestive voice that left Colt with the impression that she was more aware of his situation than she let on.

Colt turned his attention back to his son and nodded. “Well, it’s good to see you again.”

“It’s good to see you too,” Tony replied. Sensing their presence was no longer necessary, Helen and her husband excused themselves and left the two of them to speak in private. Once they were gone, he moved a little closer to his father and said in a quieter voice, “I’m sorry for what happened.”

Colt took a breath and let it out. “He was a good man.”

“He had to have been if you cared so much about him,” the younger man replied. “But… what I meant was that I’m sorry for how we… left things between us.”

“So am I.”

“It just… caught me off guard,” Tony explained. “You and Mom divorced and then suddenly you started dating another man and I just didn’t know how to deal with it.”

As Colt looked at him, he could almost hear David’s voice in the back of his head, urging him to do the right thing. “Son… It doesn’t matter. All that I care about is that you’re here and we can talk again.”

Aaron came up behind Colt and gently grabbed onto his hand. Tony looked down at the child and smiled. “Who’s this?”

Without thinking, Colt broke into a wide smile and picked the boy up. “This is Aaron. David’s grandson. One of them, at least.”

Tony nodded. “I know you’re probably busy right now but I’m here for another day at least before I have to report back to base. Maybe we can talk some more later?”

“I’d like that,” Colt replied genuinely.

Aaron fixed his eyes on the new person. “Hi.”

Tony grinned at the shy voice. “Hi. I’m Tony.”

“I’m Aaron.”

Colt smiled a little. “Aaron, Tony is my son.”

The little boy’s eyes widened, and his initial shyness was immediately forgotten. “Wow. You’re a marine too!”

That got a chuckle out of Tony. “Yup. You’re a smart one, that’s for sure.”

Thinking it over, the older marine said, “I have a few duties to perform today for the family. But after that, you should come to the house and spend some time before heading back.”

Tony looked a little unsure of the idea. “You sure that’ll be okay?”

With a confident smile, Colt answered, “you’re my son. Of course, it’ll be okay.”

There were so many people, it was hard to keep them all in his mind. What surprised Kyle what how often the outpouring of sympathy for him and his family seemed heartfelt and more than a few people who developed a catch in their throat as they expressed their feelings for a man that they all seemed to know so well. Kyle maintained a warm if stoic smile for all of them and managed to get through all of it with no tears. He saw Tyler out of the corner of his eye but didn’t break his concentration with the guests arriving for the service. Tyler was busy with a reporter and camera crew that had come to report on the funeral. For a passing moment, he grew concerned, but reminded himself that Tyler knew what he was doing and that they would not be a bother to him or his family for the duration of the service.

After standing for what seemed like hours, the ushers finally closed the main doors to the church, signaling that they had reached the maximum number of people they could hold. Once the last person in the line was inside the sanctuary, Kyle led his friends back down towards the front, silently taking their places on the first pew.

The large choir was already in their place off to the side along with the director. As Kyle settled into his seat, he felt Jacob take his hand. The choir director’s attention was on the couple and waited until Kyle gave him a nod. With the signal received, the director turned and lifted his arms. As the organist played, the choir sang the hymn, “Abide with me.” Kyle listened politely and even smiled a little when he found himself enjoying their talent, though the weight of the moment grew with each passing second. It all felt as if it was happening so fast and he didn’t want the day to end. He didn’t want to have to go back home and feel that emptiness in the house that David’s absence created. As the hymn came to its end, his attention shifted to the front of the room where Harry moved to stand to deliver his sermon.

Harry sat his notes in front of him before speaking in a solemn voice that echoed through the room. “The Lord is with us, this day. Jesus says to us in John 14:1 through 3, ‘Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.’

“A few days ago, David William Howard’s room in our Father’s house was made ready for him. And His Holy Son came and took him home. We are saddened by his absence. Blessed that his end came without pain or suffering. Comforted in the knowledge that David now exists in a place that is beyond sadness. Beyond suffering. As we all have paused in these last few days to remember our friend, our brother, our father, our grandfather, we are reminded of how short this life is. We feel our grief from our loss and have only the memories of him to sustain us.”

As Harry paused and shifted his notes on the podium, Kyle felt Andy’s arm move around his shoulders. The shared connection between them helped to fortify his resolve to get through the day with minimal tears.

Harry lowered his head for a moment before looking back up at the assembled crowd and smiled slightly. “That’s about as far as I got in my sermon today,” he said to the surprise of Kyle and the others. “What I wanted to do last night was find a way to capture the essence of what it was to be a part of David’s life. But there were so many different ways, I didn’t know where to begin. We all knew him as an upstanding, respectful man who spoke his mind when he felt the need. The one who always got a laugh when he wanted. The familiar smile everyone remembers on those special days when he shared the bounty of his orchard with his neighbors.

“So many different aspects of this man’s life,” he remarked with a smile. “I remember asking him once, ‘Dave, why don’t you come to church more often?’ He looked at me with that slightly annoyed look of his and said, ‘Hell, Harry. I already know how to be a good person; I don’t need a refresher course once a week.’” The assembly chuckled slightly before he continued. “David was always free to give his opinion on just about anything, if you gave him an opening. Whether you wanted it or not. He had a habit of being a little stubborn. But his heart was in the right place more often than not.”

Kyle felt Jacob squeeze his hand slightly which brought a slightly pained smile to his face as he squeezed his back.

Harry continued. “So… This morning, I was having my morning coffee and happened to have the paper in front of me. I turned to the obituaries, thinking maybe it would give me an idea on how to truly speak about our beloved friend. But when I saw it, I was got stuck on this one line: ‘He is survived by one son.’” Harry paused for a moment to emphasize that statement. “One son. I kept looking at that over and over. Now, to the paper’s credit, technically, that is true. David had one son.” Harry seemed to swallow hard before he said with a slight tremor in his voice, “but he had five boys. Five extraordinary boys. And I know this, because of what they told me about the man they loved and who loved them. ‘He was there for me when my mother died.’ ‘He was there for me when I had no where to go.’ ‘He was there for me when I felt broken inside.’ ‘He was there for me when I had lost hope.’ ‘He was there for me.’ My friends, David’s greatest gift he gave each and every one of us was his boundless compassion. His willingness to put someone else ahead of himself. He gave us all his time. His love. His strength. Sometimes when we didn’t know we needed it. And sometimes he was even generous enough to give us a kick in the ass when it was warranted.” More than a few people laughed heartily at those words, helping to lift some of the sadness from the room.

A smile flickered on his lips as he looked down from his place at Kyle and the others. “But most of all, the greatest give he gave all of us, is these five boys who are now men. They teach us by example that the bonds of friendship can be as strong, if not stronger, than family. Kyle, Jacob, Troy, Andrew and Brian. Five men who sit and grieve for their loss as one family. If only we could all be more like them. More like the boys that David knew. And loved. That he guided and helped to grow into the men that they are today. There is a lesson here for the rest of us that we should take with us from this place. To love someone else is the greatest gift we can give. Whether it be a neighbor, a friend or even a stranger, our first act should be one of compassion. Honor your friend, and mine, by showing compassion to those who need it. When you see someone suffering, lend them a guiding hand.”

Kyle could feel more than see the tears falling from Andy and Jacob’s faces. Heads bowed in silent grief, Harry’s words cleansed their spirit from the trauma of David’s death and helped them to see that the road to healing was one they would travel together in the coming days. Because no matter how old they got, they would always be a team. And they will face every hardship together.

Harry’s voice rose with compassion and hope as he concluded. “But let us not forget that our friend and father, David Howard, is free from the shackles of death. The Lord has raised him up to heaven and he now has eternal life. And with that knowledge and comfort of our Lord Jesus Christ, let us remember that death can never defeat love. And those who we love are never too far from us. Amen.”

The congregation answered back in a collective, “amen,” before Harry stepped down from his place and retook his seat.

Kyle wiped his eyes and slowly lifted his head in the silence of the sanctuary. His attention was caught by the movement of a woman in her choir robes moving to a microphone stand. The director made a few motions with his hand and her crystal-clear voice began to fill the room with song. At first, Kyle was focused on the beauty of her singing to pay attention to the words. But as the music accompanied her and her eyes seemed to meet his, the words touched his heart and new tears replaced the old. So deeply affected by the words, he could almost swear his father had planned it himself somehow.

I promise you I’m always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair
I’ll carry you when you need a friend
You’ll find my footprints in the sand.

Kyle glanced at the others and saw them overwhelmed with tears. In that moment as the pain of loss returned, Kyle could feel his father there with him. The familiar air of love and comfort filled him as he could hear David’s words in his mind. While it didn’t stop the tears, it did bring a smile to his face.

Unbidden, an early memory of his childhood came to him. One his first swimming lessons and he was scared and crying as he clung to his father who patiently held him and calmed him even as he said, “it’s okay, Baby Boy. You can do it. You just have to let go. I’m right here with you.” He could recall that look in his father’s eyes when he finally swam on his own. Still scared but comforted by his dad’s presence next to him.

As the choir joined in and the song reached a crescendo, the memory faded away, but the feeling of comfort remained. His father was truly gone, Kyle finally accepted. But a part of him would always live inside his son. The tears stopped and he held onto Andy as he wiped the tears from his eyes. By the time the song reached its end, all five of them regained their composure to hear Harry give the valediction to end the formal service.

“As we leave here, in the midst of our grief, remember to say prayers for our friends, Kyle and Jacob Howard and their children, Matthew and Aaron. For Troy and Elizabeth and their children, Chase, Carter and Emily. For Andrew and Brian and their children, Tanner and Blake. We pray that God will help soothe their hearts and give them comfort in their time of need. As we remember His words in the book of Isaiah, ‘Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.’ Lord, we pray that you be with the family of our beloved friend, David. To guide them and walk with them through the days that are to come. Remind them of the love of their father and the knowledge that we will be with him again someday in your kingdom. Amen.”

All eyes then turned to the honor guard who slowly moved into formation around the coffin. A moment of perfect silence hung in the air for a moment before a single horn played “taps” in the room. Everyone stood and men removed their hats, bowing their heads in respect. Kyle readied himself, hoping the others remembered their parts. After the horn fell silent, the honor guard reverently lifted the coffin and began the slow, measured trek up the aisle to the door that they had entered before the service began. After a few paces, Kyle began to follow, followed by Troy and Jacob, then Andy and Brian, and finally Colt. Together, the six of them followed at a respectful distance from the honor guard as everyone else looked on.

It had been decided that while the sermon would be open to the public, this last moment was to be theirs alone. Everyone else had been instructed to remain in their seats until the ushers gave Whitman the signal. And they would not do so until the very end. The marines and sailors returned to the waiting hearse, which was ready to receive David’s coffin. With deliberate, respectful steps, the honor guard brought the coffin to rest on a portable table that had been set up in advance for the moment.

The marines lifted the flag from David’s coffin and began folding it up. Kyle stood with the others right behind him. Once they had completed the flag folding, the highest ranking marine stepped forward, holding the flag in both hands in front of him at waist height.

The marine leaned forward slightly, meeting Kyle’s eyes. For a moment, Kyle was taken aback, suddenly realizing how young he was. It occurred to him that he was closer to Matt’s age than his. But that thought was banished as he heard the marine speak in a voice more solemn and reverent than Kyle would have thought capable for a man so young. “On behalf of the President of the United States, The United States Marine Corps, and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of your loved one’s honorable and faithful service.”

Kyle was moved by not only the marine’s words, but how apparent it was that he meant every word. “Thank you.” Kyle took the flag in his hands and tucked it under his arm. The marine gave him a formal salute.

Colt, knowing Kyle was uncomfortable saluting stepped up next to him and returned the salute saying, “on behalf of the family, we thank you for your service today.” The marine gave another salute and a nod before returning to the others, preparing to roll David’s casket into the back of the hearse for his final journey.

Kyle silently watched that final moment play out. A part of him still waiting for it all to be a lie. But the truth in front of him ended that private wish. With the closing of the door, the mortician moved to the driver’s seat and began to slowly pull away. His next stop would be the crematorium and soon David’s ashes would be placed in an urn and delivered to the house. The pain inside him now was starting to ebb to a dull ache. This was his new life now and he had to get back to it. There were many things he still had left to do. But for this one moment, he stood and watched until the hearse was out of sight before he silently whispered to himself, “goodbye, Dad.”