The Great Mirror of Same-Sex Love - Prose - 106. Leonard Bernstein – “My love for him is nerve-wracking and guts-tearing and wonderful”

As a biographer, Keith Stern has a naturally beneficial way of bringing his subjects' own descriptions of themselves into his write-ups. In the one above on Bernstein [Keith Stern Queers in History (Dallas 2009), ps. 60-61], we hear the famous man call himself an f-word, and doing so in 1988, at the height of the AIDS public panic, when no one other than a 100% Gay person would out himself with such a bigoted word. He himself confirms in one term that he was never Bi, even though he'd been to bed with women.*

Why is that important? Because Keith Stern then provides us with the composer's own glorious words of what it was like for Bernstein to be a reciprocated love relationship with a man: "nerve-wracking and guts-tearing and wonderful."

No amount of wishing that Bernstein were not so steadfastly Gay can make his actual statements fade (except by suppressing them, erasing them, etc.).

Non-Community member Bradley Cooper is absconding with this piece of Gay History by trying to present Bernstein as 50-50 in his current movie project. Cooper plans on black-facing a performance as Bernstein (that is, straight lisping a Gay part that is he is misappropriating). And yet, where is the LGBTI2S+ outrage of such mammyism of Queer folks on film, in frickin' 2024?!

I have prepared this entry today, because a quick search on the internet will show that there is far more shaming of Cooper for trying to play a Jew than trying to play a Gay man. Where is our integrity as a minority group? Where is our protecting of our own history for our up and coming Queer kids so they can see some truth in art?

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*As if straight guys are automatically called 'bi' if they've fooled around with a dude. No, they'd never accept that, and neither should Gay men who've slept with women be automatically labeled as Bi by those who do not want to think of them as 'f*gg*ts'. That's bigotry, plain and simple.) 

The other type of erasure is when people who ARE bi, such as myself, are told by gays and straights alike, to "pick a side, already."  I like both genders, and are attracted to some members of both, sexually .  But, as pointed out indirectly above, just because one is gay, bi, or straight, does not mean it is impossible to "perform sexually" to the non-preferred gender.

Fascinating, @AC Benus.  I was not aware of the above with regard to Bernstein.  Thank you.

12 minutes ago, ReaderPaul said:

The other type of erasure is when people who ARE bi, such as myself, are told by gays and straights alike, to "pick a side, already."  I like both genders, and are attracted to some members of both, sexually .  But, as pointed out indirectly above, just because one is gay, bi, or straight, does not mean it is impossible to "perform sexually" to the non-preferred gender.

Fascinating, @AC Benus.  I was not aware of the above with regard to Bernstein.  Thank you.

Hugs, because anyone saying "choose" misses the point that love is love, and love is what matters. Attraction is one thing, but commitment entirely another. True members of the Bi community, like yourself, should never have to accept anyone telling them what they feel is not real. That goes for everyone as well; no one has a say in how we feel other than ourselves.

With Bernstein specifically, as far as I'm aware, he never wrote about being in love with a woman. Caring, yes, as most Gay men are to a fault, and he took care of his wife even though their reason for getting married was career-based and not due to emotions

I admire your ability to cut to the heart of things in your commentary. It is not about choosing sides, as you say. Love is indeed love.  I have come to an appreciation of Bernstein as a conductor later in life; I already believed him to be a gifted composer and a talented exponent of American music. Biographers have noted the generational contrast between two great Gay composers, Bernstein and Copeland. The latter kept his orientation discreet, the former was at times far more open. But neither man was bi. 

1 hour ago, Parker Owens said:

I admire your ability to cut to the heart of things in your commentary. It is not about choosing sides, as you say. Love is indeed love.  I have come to an appreciation of Bernstein as a conductor later in life; I already believed him to be a gifted composer and a talented exponent of American music. Biographers have noted the generational contrast between two great Gay composers, Bernstein and Copeland. The latter kept his orientation discreet, the former was at times far more open. But neither man was bi. 

Yes, both composers appear in Martin Greif's Gay Book of Days (New York 1982) in the list of "those not to be named under threat of legal action by their publicists." But "L.B. -- American composer" and "A.C. -- American composer" are still clear as a bell (as is another on the list G.G -- American composer [George Gershwin]). 

I believe the interview Keith Stern cites in his Bernstein bio is the actual moment Lenny came out, fully. Now I wonder if Copeland ever "set the record Gay" or not. He lived a long time

2 hours ago, AC Benus said:

I believe the interview Keith Stern cites in his Bernstein bio is the actual moment Lenny came out, fully. Now I wonder if Copeland ever "set the record Gay" or not. He lived a long time

I cannot swear to it, as I can’t recall the source, but I don’t think Copeland ever did, certainly not as Bernstein did.