A short edit to the very end of the previous chapter! My bad!

The actual end to Chapter 6...

As they walked up the path, Levi said, ‘There’s something I need to ask you . . .’

‘And what’s that, mate? You can ask me anything you want, anytime.’

‘It’s just I . . . I don’t know what to call you.’

Matt glanced at his father, whose face carried an amused expression.

‘Levi, you can call me whatever you feel comfortable calling me, mate. I just want you to know that I’m here for you. We’re all here for you.’

The boy didn’t reply. He just gave a nod.

That was enough, Matt figured.

-- Chapter 7 --

The first thing Levi discovered following his mother’s funeral, was that grief had weight.

Not necessarily just the kind you carried in your chest – although there was certainly plenty of that – but actual weight, which made your back ache after carrying boxes to the car, or moving furniture. Cardboard boxes filled with clothes, books, old school papers, and everything else that had been collected in their ten years back in this town, were heavier than he thought they would be. Likewise, the kitchen drawers stuffed with odds and ends, receipts and takeaway menus, linen cupboards overflowing with towels that smelled faintly of fabric softener and the life they had lived together.

That was all over now. Matt, his father, had explained that as the house needed to be sold, which was the wish of Levi’s mother, they would need to clear it of all his and his mother’s belongings.

Ten years of living back here, gathering belongings, building a life, only to be sold off, given away, or packed away, in the hope it might still have a use some day, and now, every room in the house seemed heavier with his mother gone.

Matt had left for Thompsonville after lunch, as he needed to sort out issues with work, but had promised to return in a few days. In the meantime, Levi and his grandparents were tasked with going through the house and beginning the process of sorting through everything.

Matt’s mother started on Julie’s bedroom, but only after taking Levi in there to see if there was anything that he felt he needed to keep. They found a jewellery box, a wooden cross and some religious images that were on the wall, along with some photos, various knick-knacks and personal items. Most of these were packed away into a cardboard box that was simply labelled, JULIE.

‘And what about her clothes, love?’ Levi’s grandmother asked him.

The blank expression said it all really. ‘I . . . I don’t know,’ Levi replied.

‘Well, can I suggest that we donate them to Lifeline, or the St. Vincent de Paul Society?’

‘Our church has an Op shop . . . could they go there?’

‘Most definitely, love. And if I find anything else that isn’t clothing, I’ll let you know. Is that okay?’

Levi simply nodded in reply, not trusting that his voice would behave if he actually said anything.

A short while later, he and his grandfather stood in the doorway to the living room, in the middle of which there were piles of boxes marked as KEEP, or DONATE, or JUNK. The discussions about what needed to be disposed of, and what could be kept, had worn them all out. There was no argument from Levi, just grudging acceptance, finally, that life – as he knew it – was changing.

‘Matt said we can move everything that is to be kept to the storage unit, as a first step, or for that matter we could store some of it back at the house,’ Levi’s grandfather said. ‘There’s plenty of room in the flat beside the garage. It’s going to take a while to get through everything anyhow.’

Levi started by removing some pictures from the wall and soon found himself in the middle of the lounge room holding a framed photograph he had already decided he was keeping, even though nobody had asked yet. It was an old picture of him and his mother at the local show years earlier. He couldn’t have been more than seven or eight years old. Julie had fairy floss stuck to her cheek and was laughing at something outside the frame, while in the background he could see sideshow alley, crowded with people having fun.

He set the photo carefully into the KEEP box. Nearby, his grandfather sat on the floor sorting through a stack of DVDs.

‘What do you reckon about these, mate? You don’t need to keep every movie, do you?’

Levi shrugged without looking at him. ‘Mum liked those.’

‘I know she did. But the question is, did you? Are you going to want to watch them again?’

Another pause.

‘Remember, we can’t keep everything.’

There goes that phrase again.

Levi hated it. People kept saying it softly, kindly, reasonably – as though that somehow made it easier.

Can’t keep everything. Can’t stay here forever. Things have to change.

He moved into the hallway before he said something stupid.

The house already felt strange. Half dismantled. Cupboard doors hanging open. Empty spaces appearing on shelves where ornaments had sat for years. It was like watching somebody slowly erase proof that his mother had existed at all.

His grandfather followed a few minutes later, carrying another box, on his way to the car.

‘If there’s stuff you’re not sure about, we’ll just put those things into storage anyhow,’ he said gently. ‘You can make your mind up later about all that.’

Levi nodded. ‘Okay. Thanks,’

He wandered into his mother’s bedroom and stopped. His grandmother had the wardrobe open and was carefully folding his mother’s dresses and blouses and placing them in a box.

Levi glanced at the bed, which was still unmade from the last morning she had slept in it, before going to hospital. Her dressing gown was in the bag that they had collected from the hospital. Her perfume bottles and other personal items had already been cleared from the dresser. Levi looked at the box in which these had been packed, then picked up a hairbrush from the top. It still had strands of blonde hair caught in it.

Levi swallowed hard.

‘Mum would hate this,’ he muttered, more to himself than anyone.

His grandfather leaned against the doorway quietly.

‘She’d hate leaving you to do it all alone,’ he admitted.

That was probably true. Levi sat down heavily on the edge of the bed.

Everything felt wrong now. Like the world had slipped sideways while everybody else kept pretending it was normal.

A father had suddenly appeared out of nowhere. There were grandparents he still barely knew. His home was being torn apart around him. Then there was the possibility of moving to some backward, seaside town called Thompsonville.

A whole new life was being discussed around him like it was some sort of practical arrangement.

And he still didn’t even know what to call Matt. Dad felt weird. Matt felt cold. Nothing seemed to fit properly.

His grandfather carefully sat beside him, while his grandmother stood and watched.

‘You doing okay?’

Levi gave a short laugh. ‘Not really.’

‘Fair enough.’

Another silence settled between them.

‘You don’t have to work everything out today, son.’

Levi stared at the carpet.

‘What if I don’t wanna leave?’

His grandfather took his time answering. ‘I think that’s something you and Matt will need to work out together.’

Together. Another strange word.

Levi rubbed his hands over his face.

‘What if I don’t fit there?’

‘But then again, you might.’

‘But what if I don’t? What if I hate it?’

His grandfather looked at him carefully.

‘Then your father will have to figure that out with you.’

Father. There it was again. Not Matt. Not some stranger. Your father.

Levi still wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

*   *   *

By late afternoon the house had become unbearably quiet.

His grandfather was in the kitchen sorting paperwork while his grandmother continued folding clothes into neat piles for charity donations. The radio murmured softly in the background, though nobody was really listening.

Levi slipped out the front door without saying anything.

He wasn’t trying to run away. Not really. He just needed to breathe somewhere else for a while.

The air outside carried the coolness of the approaching evening as he shoved his hands into his hoodie pockets and walked quickly down the street.

Past the little park where he used to kick a football around with kids he hardly saw anymore. Past the small shopping centre, with the familiar takeaway shop, fruit and vegie market, Chinese restaurant, and pharmacy.

Funny how everybody said they’d be there for you after somebody died. Then life kept moving. People stopped calling. Stopped visiting. Even church people had mostly disappeared.

The church.

The thought came suddenly and stuck. And before he could change his mind, Levi turned toward it.

*   *   *

Back in Thompsonville, Matt had barely unlocked the front door of the house before his phone rang. It was his father.

Matt answered immediately. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Levi’s gone.’

Matt froze.

‘What do you mean gone?’

‘We were sorting through boxes. Your mother thought he was in his old bedroom. Next thing we know the front door’s open, and he’s nowhere to be seen.’

Matt closed his eyes briefly.

‘How long?’

‘Maybe twenty minutes.’

‘Have you called around?’

‘Where? Who? Does he have any mates to call that you know of?’

That landed heavier than Matt expected. Of course he didn’t. The kid barely seemed connected to anybody outside his mother.

‘We checked the shops,’ his father continued. ‘Nothing.’

Matt ran a hand through his hair.

‘He doesn’t have a phone, does he?’

‘No.’

‘That’s the first thing we’re getting him when this is over.’

‘You’re not wrong.’

Matt moved back toward the door automatically, already ready to drive straight back.

‘Check the house again.’

‘I already did.’

Matt stopped halfway onto the porch. Then something clicked.

‘What about the cemetery?’ he said.

‘What?’

‘The cemetery. Or even the church.’

There was a pause. Then his father sighed softly.

‘Yeah. Alright.’

‘Call me when, or if, you find him.’

*   *   *

The church steps were cold beneath Levi’s legs, where he sat beside Father Michael in silence, as the evening light faded across the empty car park.

‘You don’t have to say anything,’ the priest said eventually. ‘But I’m here if you want to talk.’

Levi nodded, and for a while neither of them spoke, until finally a question came into to Levi’s mind. Quietly, without looking up, he asked:

‘Do you think God takes people away for a reason?’

Father Michael smiled sadly.

‘No. I don’t.’

Levi picked at a loose thread on his jeans, then said, ‘Everybody keeps saying stuff happens for a reason.’

‘People say many things when they don’t know what else to say, son.’

That actually made Levi feel a little better. He looked toward the church doors.

‘I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.’

‘You don’t have to know yet.’

‘I might have to move away.’

‘I did hear that.’

Levi shrugged. ‘There’s nothing for me here now anyway.’

The words came out way flatter than he intended. Father Michael glanced at him carefully.

‘That’s not entirely true.’

Maybe not. But it felt true.

A car turned into the church driveway. Levi recognised his grandfather’s car immediately and just moments later his grandfather climbed out looking pale with worry while Matt’s grandmother pressed a hand against her chest in relief.

‘Oh, thank Christ,’ his grandfather breathed. Even Father Michael managed to smile at that one.

Levi immediately looked guilty.

‘Sorry.’

‘You can’t just disappear like that, mate.’

‘I know.’

His grandfather crouched in front of him. ‘We thought something had happened.’

Levi looked down at the concrete. ‘I just needed to think.’

The older man’s expression softened instantly. ‘Next time you tell us first, alright?’

Levi nodded quietly. Then, a moment later he asked, ‘Did Matt get told?’

His grandfather smiled faintly.

‘About thirty seconds after we realised you were gone.’

Levi grimaced. Great.

Father Michael stood. ‘I think perhaps everybody’s had enough excitement for one day.’

That earned the smallest hint of a smile from Levi.

‘Thank you, Father,’ Levi’s grandmother said quietly.

‘You are most welcome.’

As they headed back toward the car, his grandfather rested a gentle hand against the back of his neck for just a moment.

Not controlling. Not angry. Just there. And for the first time since his mother had died, Levi realised something that was almost unsettling: These people were worried about him because they actually did care. Because he was now a part of their family, as confusing to him as that might feel.

*   *   *

Matt arrived late the following night, after quickly dealing with work issues and rearranging things back home, and then hitting the road. Luke came with him this time, and when the two of them appeared at Levi’s bedroom door he looked up from his book and gave them a sheepish look.

‘I’m sorry I worried you,’ he admitted.

‘It’s okay,’ Matt replied. ‘You don’t know what it’s like having a father around. And I don’t know how to do this father thing yet, either. We’re all just figuring things out as we go along, mate. Maybe we both just need to take each other’s feelings and concerns into account, eh? Deal?’

‘Yeah, deal,’ Levi replied.

‘So, your grandmother said chocolate always helps,’ Luke said, while holding up a supermarket bought chocolate mud cake, like it was an offering for a wild animal. ‘You up for some?’

For what seemed like the first time since they had all come together, Levi genuinely smiled.

‘Yeah, thanks. I’m always up for some chocolate,’ he replied, before swinging his legs over the side of the bed and then getting to his feet.

Matt tried not to laugh. Had they just found the key to his son’s heart?

Luke placed the cake on the kitchen counter, and then filled the kettle to make some tea, or hot chocolate, or whatever everyone wanted. Matt’s parents joined them for cake and coffee, but then left the three guys to it. They stayed up late, just talking through the events of the past few days, more details of what needed to happen with the house, and all the issues that they all knew would be ahead of them.

It was slow going, but Levi was beginning to open up. Matt just hoped that the progress would continue to be positive, and that there wouldn’t be too many backward steps as they began this journey. The old adage of one step forward, two steps backwards came to mind. He prayed that wouldn’t be the case with him and getting to know his son.

Over the next few days, as they continued the task of cleaning out the house, Matt and Levi began the long process of getting to know each other. There were many moments when Levi would go quiet, or even disappear for a little while, only to be found a short time later sitting in the doorway to the old shed in one corner of the backyard, or perhaps sitting on the old tyre swing that hung in the shade of the oak tree in the opposite corner.

These places had always been his refuge while growing up and were naturally places he would return to, now that confusing times for him had returned.

Sometimes the guys would catch him studying them, as if trying to work something out, but he wouldn’t say anything, and he would look away when he was spotted watching them.

‘He just needs some space,’ Luke suggested. ‘He’s still dealing with all of this . . . and at least assisting with the clean out will help give him some closure, before it’s time to move on.’

Matt looked at him sharply. ‘How the hell do you know that?’ he asked.

‘Must be all the reading I do,’ Luke cheekily replied.

It was that night at dinner, when Matt’s father produced a mobile phone and a charger, and placed it on the table in front of Levi.

‘I take it you don’t have one of these?’ he asked his grandson.

‘No, I’ve . . . I’ve never been allowed one.’

‘Allowed?’

‘Mum’s beliefs, I guess. I’ve never needed one anyhow.’

‘Well, you need one now, mate. We all need to be able to get in touch with you . . . and if anything happens and you need to talk to any of us, you’ll be able to call us. It’s not a fancy phone, by any means, but it’ll do the job. It’s one of my old ones . . . freshly charged up, with a new SIM card and phone credit . . . all ready to go.’

‘What’s a SIM card?’

‘It’s the card inside the phone, like a memory chip, that has the phone number on it,’ Matt replied. ‘And we’ve put all our numbers in the contacts section, so you’ll just have to press a button in order to call us.’

Levi picked up the phone and studied it, turning it over and over, like it was some alien object.

‘Love, have you ever used one of these things?’ his grandmother asked.

‘No. Never. Mum didn’t even have one,’ he replied.

‘Well, I’m sure your father will be able to show you how to use it.’

Father? That still seemed like such a foreign word, he thought, as he looked at the man sitting beside him.

After dinner was over and the kitchen cleaned, with Levi helping out by drying the dishes, Matt and Luke showed him through the workings of the phone. They showed Levi how to make and answer calls, send text messages, and even use the internet – which was still something that was a great unknown to him.

Or should that be, another great unknown, he wondered.

To be continued . . .