Ian's Heart - 9. Chapter 9 - Patrick

“Paddy, are you okay? Why didn’t you say felt sick?” Dad said looking at me through the mirror, in the airport restroom. I washed my face and rinsed my mouth out, to see if I could get rid of the foul taste in my mouth. Dad opened my carry on luggage and found my toiletries kit and handed it to me. “Here brush your teeth, you’ll feel better.”

“Sorry Dad, I’m not sick, I’m just so nervous.” I felt another bout of nausea heading my way. “What if they don’t like me?”

“I don’t think you need to worry about that. You should be more concerned about being suffocated by Grandma’s hugs.” Dad chuckled, “They already love you, every time I talk to Mom she says, “Put my Grandson on the phone,” before I even get to say “Hello!” I think you’re golden.”

“Thanks, Dad. I hope you’re right.” Just because Dad was encouraging me doesn’t mean I’ll stop worrying about it. I quickly brushed my teeth and returned my toiletries to my bag.

“Take a deep breath, and remember; No matter what anyone says, you’re my son, and I love you. So no more doubts.” Dad gave me a quick hug. “Ready?”

I took a deep breath, nodded my head and said, “Yes!” I used what little reserve I had in me, holding my head up, fell in step beside Dad trying to look confident, dragging my luggage next to me, out through the doors to meet my Grandparents in person for the first time. I recognized Grandma straight away, along with anyone else with eyes. She was hopping on the balls of her feet, waving her arms above her head frantically calling out “Ian, Paddy, over here,” louder than the announcements over the speaker. I saw Grandpa take a few discreet steps away from the crazy lady who was making a spectacle of herself. That made me smile, I’d all but forgotten what I was nervous about. Grandma had a huge smile on her face.

Grandma reached out for Dad first and pulled him into a hug with tears in her eyes. Grandpa stepped toward me, so I nervously reached my hand out to shake his. He stopped, looked at my hand, his smile turned into a grin, he shook my hand and pulled me into him for a hug. “You’re bigger than I expected, handsome devil too. You must take after my side of the family,” he chuckled and squeezed me tighter. “I’d welcome you to the family, but you should have been here all along, just misplaced for a while.” Grandpa kissed my temple and released me from his hug but left his hand on my shoulder. Every piece of doubt that was nagging inside my head telling me “I wasn’t good enough to be here” almost disappeared that instant. Grandpa wanted me, just like Dad did. No doubt, no earning my place, he was happy I was part of his family. This is all so scary, I’ve never been accepted anywhere before. Not for just existing, usually, well before Dad took me in, my life was a fight just to exist.

“Stop hogging our Grandson, Thomas. Let me get a good look at you,” Grandma gently moved my Grandpa out of the way. “My, my, but you are a sight for sore eyes. Both of you,” She looked over at Dad and then back at me, “I’m so happy you’re here,” Grandma was crying again as she hugged me, but it felt more like a sleeper hold.

“Grandma I can’t breathe,” My voice all raspy, due to a lack of oxygen.

She chuckled, “Sorry, I’m so excited you’re here. I just can’t believe you’re actually here. Come, come, let’s get out of the cold.” Grandma wrapped her arm around my shoulders and steered me toward the exit. Even though I was wearing a jacket an Eskimo would envy, I could feel the warmth coming from Grandma and Grandpa. Dad smiled at me, it was like he knew what I was thinking. I returned his smile. I really hope he can’t tell how nervous I still am, after everything he’s done for me, I’d hate to disappoint him.

<>-<>-<>

“Home, Sweet, Home,” Grandpa recited from a needlepoint framed on the wall in the entrance, “Follow me, Paddy, give me a hand with the luggage, I’ll show you to the den.” The small foyer led to the living room, it had what looked to be expensive although aged lounge suite, which was used to break the room into two areas, the other section set up with more expensive furniture creating the dining area. A fireplace which was ablaze keeping the place warm with a plush chocolate colored rug laid in front of it. They must have downsized at some point because even though the furniture looked out of place and too big for the type of home, we were standing in, it all went together and looked nice. The house smelt like cinnamon and vanilla, giving it a homey feel. I’d never seen anything as nice, outside of the television or magazines.

Grandpa stopped at the end of the room with two doorways, one to the right and one straight ahead. “In there is the kitchen and breakfast nook. That’s your Aunt Anna reading the newspaper.” A woman who didn’t look anything like Dad, but still had family resemblance lifted her head and looked at me. I smiled and gave a small nod of my head because my hands were full with the luggage. She gave me a half smile and went back to the newspaper. Wow, friendly, I would have thought she’d have been happy to us, well Dad at least. But then again, I know Dad has mentioned my Aunt before, and I don’t recall him ever saying anything negative about her. But to my knowledge, they aren’t in contact with each other. My anxiety is now returning, I hope she isn’t upset that we’ve come for a visit.

Grandpa gave me a warm smile and shrugged a shoulder, “Through here we have the hallway to the rest of the house. This first door,” which was shut, “is mine and your Grandma’s room,” he said moving further past the next door, “this is the guest room, the next is the bathroom and at the end of the hallway is the den. I’m sorry you have to sleep in here, young Pat.” He apologized entering the room, “Your Aunt Anna showed up unexpectedly a couple of days ago and is staying in the guest room for a while. We’ll put your Dad on the couch for now.”

“That’s not necessary, Dad and I can share, he’ll be more comfortable sleeping in a bed. And if not I can sleep on the couch.” I reassured him.

“You’re a good boy Paddy,” Grandpa smiled affectionately at me. My Grandparents had already made the futon into a bed and had sheets and blankets tucked in, giving the illusion to a real bed. I sat down on it and looked around the room. It was exactly what you’d expect bookcases with books, a nice desk with a laptop and printer set up and leather, high back office chair. I pulled out my phone and turned it on, about ten messages dinged their way through. “Somebody must want you badly,” Grandpa said smugly. I could feel the heat rise from the blush on my face.

“My girlfriend,” I answered sheepishly, “I forgot to let her know when we landed.”

“A girlfriend, well, let's grab a drink, and you can tell me all about her. Do you have any photos of her on your phone?” Grandpa asked as he exited the room, what choice did I have but to go with him. I texted Sasha as I followed him back to the kitchen, where Dad was with Grandma and Aunt Anna. Dad had a scowl on his face when I entered the room, but as soon as he saw me his face lit up. My new Aunt huffed and stalked out of the room she looked about five or six months pregnant.

“What was that about?” Grandpa asked sternly.

Grandma waved her hand dismissively, “Just our daughter being her usual charming self.” Dad mumbled something under his breath. I could feel my panic start to rise, I tried to keep it under wraps, please don’t ask me any questions. I’m not sure I can talk right now. It seems I was right and our arrival had upset the woman.

“I’ll never understand that girl,” Grandpa muttered to himself then opened the refrigerator and took two bottles of water out and gave me one of them. “So Ian, Paddy tells me he has a girlfriend. Do we approve?” Oh thank God, he didn’t ask me. I left it to Dad to explain Sasha and plastered on a fake smile to try and hide the not so fake fight or flight, or my favorite – vomiting response.

Dad chuckled, nodding his head, “Absolutely, you’d love her Dad. She’s a lot like Mom. Her name is Sasha, she’s a gorgeous creature and complements Paddy’s quiet, reserved nature – by being the exact opposite. How can I say this?” Dad thought for a second tilting his head, “She’s a firecracker, explosive and mouthy when it counts. She’s full of passion and angst. Sasha does not suffer fools and will let them know. But at the same time, she loves the exact same way. It’s all or nothing, and if she considers you family, she’ll defend and protect you to her last breath.” Dad laughed, thumbing in the direction of Grandma, “Remind you of anyone we know.”

Grandpa nodded and put his hands on both my shoulders, “Now Patrick you listen to me, you marry this girl at the first possible chance you get. She’ll keep you honest, on your toes and life will never be boring.” Grandma was looking at Grandpa in a way that said she was going to either love him to death or beat him to death and she hadn’t quite decided.

“I’m fifteen Grandpa,” I scoffed, weird old man.

“Semantics. Love is love, you’ll see.” Grandpa released me from his grip and opened his water bottle and gulped some down. Grandma now smiled at him, she’s decided to keep him. “So Pat, do you like sports or play any sport.”

I grinned, “I box, I’ve been training for about four months, I think. Dad how long.” Dad was fiddling with his phone and had a big goofy grin on his face. He looked up at me when I addressed him.

“Yeah! About four months,” Dad put his phone back in his pocket, “You’d be impressed Dad, he’s quite a talented young man. You should also ask to see some of his illustrations and drawings. He could make a living as an artist if he chose to pursue it.” Dad said proudly.

“Really!” He said impressed, “and boxing, it’s a good discipline, do you compete,”

“NO!” Dad answered loudly, “He has a gorgeous face, and he’s brilliant. I’m keeping him intact until the law says it’s no longer my business.”

“Dad relax, I don’t want to compete. I’ve met some of the older boxers down at the gym, I don’t want to end up like them. I spar with Will and a few others, I’m happy with that.” I could see Dad relax at my comment.

“Who’s Will?” Grandma asked.

“Will is John’s son, that’s Bill’s partner. Will respects Bill just like he’s his real Father, calls him Papi. Mom, you wouldn’t even recognize Bill if you saw him now. He’s always smiling and laughing, even has a little pep in his step. Bill and John are disgustingly happy, he slotted in with the family like he’d always been there. Everyone in the extended family loves him also.”

“What do you mean extended family?” Mom said pondering what Dad had said. Uh-oh! It also looks like he might have picked a scab off an old wound. I started to get nervous again.

“Well, the two boys Will and Liam, they were two young boys, one is my student had a rough day on his first day back. His parents came down to the school at the time, and I got chatting with them, that’s John, Will’s Dad and now also Bill’s partner, Kit Liam’s Mom. I asked if it were alright if I checked up on the boys later and they invited me for dinner. We all became friends, the boys Will and Liam call me Uncle Ian, which is nice. I’m treated as part of the family.

Then one night, the boys all went out together including Pat. But when they went to pick Pat up, they witnessed his foster Mom abuse him. Will and Liam removed him from the home, and when they called us to meet them, we met Derek who runs the local youth shelter just by chance. He’s married to Theo who’s a child service Senior Case Worker. He helped Pat get away from his useless case worker, and since I was already an approved foster care worker, I took Paddy in, with his blessing of course. And the rest they say is history, except now Derek and Theo are also part of the family.”

These boys have had a bit of a rough trot, but they um… choose good people to surround themselves with. Pat and I are part of that family, we call it our Kentucky family.” Dad looked at me for help.

“I’m so glad I met them, Grandma. I hadn’t eaten in two days, they tried to feed me, and I wouldn’t accept their charity. Will swapped me one picture I drew for a sandwich, he has it framed and on his wall at home. When I saw it there on the wall, I knew they were good people. He took me seriously and wasn’t being arrogant or trying to pull a fast one to make himself feel better. He told me how he was being bullied and then asked if I was when I said yes, he didn’t offer to protect me or anything. He told me to bring my workout gear to school the next day, and he took me to boxing instead.”

“There’s quite a few of us now Grandma. Will and Liam are amazing, they treat me like their little brother. There are adults and us kids, we all get together once every two weeks sometimes every week. They sit with me at lunch, we have our own table. You should come and visit and meet them, you’d love them all, and they’d welcome you with open arms. For no other reason than your Dad’s parents.” I backed Dad up, he gave me a grateful nod looking up from where he was sending a text on his phone.

“Well, you do seem a lot happier now that Patrick’s come along,” Grandma said to the top of Dad’s head.

I laughed, “That’s not from me Grandma, he’s been all squirrely since we went to Carols by Candlelight.”

Grandma laughed, “He drag you along to that, did he? He’s always loved Christmas concerts,” she said whistfully.

“Trust me it was more of a bribe, but I did enjoy it. It was the first Christmas I’ve ever actually had. Christmas has never really been celebrated in the foster homes I was in.” I said sheepishly, “But Dad made this one really special, I’ll remember it forever.” I felt my eyes sting with tears.

“We are so glad you're part of our family now Patrick,” Grandpa pulled me into a hug, “All your Christmas’s will be special from now on, that I can assure you.”

“Thanks, Grandpa,” I smiled up at him.

Dad put his phone back in his pocket and looked up, with a big goofy smile on his face. Seeing all of us eyeing him, he got all embarrassed and looked at the floor, “What?” he said quietly.

“Oh, Ian it makes me happy you're living life again.” She hugged Dad. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, it’s going to take me a while to work Grandma out. I’m so anxious I’m going to say something wrong and ruin it.

“Why don’t we get lunch on the move I have soup in the slow cooker, and I’ll quickly make some sandwiches to go with it. Thomas why don’t you show Paddy some of your photos and articles of when you used to box from your navy days. Ian can give me a hand with lunch.” Grandma was polite the way she bossed us around.

<>-<>-<>

“Are you sure you’re okay sleeping in the same bed with me Paddy? Because I can sleep on the sofa,” Dad kind of whisper talked at me due to the quietness of the house.

“It’s about the only thing I haven’t felt nervous about since we got here Dad, plus that couch although it’s nice when you sit on it, it’s like some kind of medieval torture device. My ass is still numb from when Grandpa was showing me his photo’s at lunch time.” I said in a low volume, poking my butt cheek with my finger, “See it won’t wake up.” We stripped down to our boxers and got under the covers of the futon.

Dad snickered, “I know, I’ve hated that thing, ever since they bought it. Why are you nervous Paddy?” Dad asked quietly cutting through the darkness with the one thing I’d hoped he’d skip over when he listened to me talk.

It took me a couple of minutes to get my bearings, “I don’t know Dad,” I sighed, “I’ve never had a family before, it’s hard to know what to say… Or how to behave in front of them. I’m worried all the time I’ll make them mad or you’ll be mad if I say the wrong thing. I’m used to saying nothing in front of the families of the foster homes I stayed at. They never wanted to hear from me, I was there for show, kind of. It’s hard to wrap my head around, you know. That this is my for real family.”

“Have they said anything to make you feel uncomfortable or upset you?” I could hear the worry in Dad’s voice.

“No Dad, they haven’t I promise. They’ve done nothing but made me feel welcome. It’s just different now that we’re here and it’s not over Skype or the telephone. Although a little warning that your sister was adopted directly from Satan himself, wouldn’t have gone astray. I’m doing my best to reign in my mouth Dad, but I’m sure if she keeps up her digs at you I’m gonna say something that will get us kicked out.” I started to get upset, “Has she always been like that with you?”

“Yeah pretty much,” Dad blew out a breath, “Please try and ignore her Pat. She’s a bitter woman and tends to think the world owes her something. Try and get some sleep Love, we’ll be going to see my grandparents in the morning.”

“Night Daddikens,” I snickered, I only call him that when I’m being a smart ass or want to lighten his mood a little.

“Smart ass,” Dad laughed, “Goodnight Son.”

<>-<>-<>

Dad had let me stay behind when they went to visit his grandparents, little did I know Aunt Anna was lurking in wings. They’d texted me to say the visit was over and they’d be home in forty minutes. I went to the kitchen and started putting together brunch. I found a waffle maker in the cupboard, so I pulled it out and went in search of the ingredients. Grandma has set her kitchen and pantry out like what I imagine a military kitchen would look like. A place for everything and everything in its place. Made my job a ton easier, I warmed the oven, putting the maple syrup in to warm up, and then made the batter for the waffles. I checked Grandma’s refrigerator for any type of fruit, it was well stocked. I pulled out some blueberries, raspberries, and some Greek yogurt for topping the waffles. Then I made a fruit platter with orange, apple, melon balls, pineapple, strawberries and a little banana for good measure.

I was halfway through making the waffles when Aunt Anna sauntered into the kitchen, “I thought you would have gone with your “Dad,” to see the Grandparents.” She sneered using finger air quotes when she said, Dad.

“Lovely,” I muttered so she couldn’t hear. Dad told me to ignore her, so ignore her I will – try. I turned my back to her, giving the waffles my full attention. I looked in the drawers for the cutlery pulling enough out to set the table and the condiments sitting them all on the counter top for when I finished cooking the waffles.

“What are you doing anyway?” She yawned, stretching with arms in the air.

“Dad, Grandma, and Grandpa are on their way back so I thought I would make brunch. Waffles and a fruit platter.” I said transferring the newly made waffles to the plate in the oven to keep warm and poured the next into the maker. The woman was hovering and making huffing noises to try and get my attention, but I went about the business of making breakfasts.

“And what if Mom had that food earmarked for another meal. Do you always just go into other peoples kitchens and help yourself.” I could feel myself shaking, I’d never thought about that, I just thought I’d help out a little. I continued now that I’d started. Dad said to ignore her, so I’ll ignore her.

“I can replace what I’ve used, it's not that big of a deal,” I said trying to hide the quiver in my voice. God, it’s so hard to ignore her, she’s so spiteful and full of hate, “I’m sure Dad won’t mind,”

“What smells so good?” Grandma entered the kitchen, “Pat did you do all of this,” I couldn’t look her in the eye, what do I say.

“Um… yeah sorry I thought I would help out and make brunch. I’ll replace anything I’ve used.” I said nervously.

“Young man,” Grandma came over and hugged me, “You’ll do no such thing, the food is there to be eaten. This was very thoughtful of you.” She spied everything I’d put on the bench, “The least I can do is set the table.” Grandma took the items from the counter and began setting up breakfast.

“The maple syrup is in the oven warming, Grandma, and this is the last of the waffles so everything should be ready,” I said taking them out of the waffle maker. I put on an oven mitt and transferred everything to the dining room table, and everyone sat down. “Don’t worry Dad, there is enough sugar in the waffles to give you diabetes.” He poked his tongue out at me.

“Why wouldn’t you put sugar in the waffles?” Anna said like she had a foul taste in her mouth.

“Pat has a particular diet he follows for his training, so I usually get cardboard breakfasts and healthy dinners.” Dad chuckled, “This is a treat,” he put a mouthful of waffle, topped with maple syrup and powdered sugar in his mouth, “Mmmm… Good job Paddy,”

“So you use the kid as a slave then,” Anna commented shoving food into her gob. I stared daggers at her, along side Dad.

“Anna,” Grandpa warned her.

“What, I’m just saying…”

“And I’m just saying E-nough,” her father admonished her, “Pat has made this delicious meal, and we are going to enjoy it because not even your Mother makes waffles this good.” Grandpa snickered as he bent to the side to miss Grandma’s swatting hand.

Grandma pointed her fork at Dad while she chewed, “So how do you survive without your burgers Ian,” chuckling as Dad’s face slowly went red.

“He sneaks off with Liam to the diner while Will and I are at training.” I chortled without looking at him.

I could feel his eyes on me while I ate, “What… You… How… How do you know that?” Dad said high pitched and was looking at me with eyes as big as saucers. My Grandparents were trying to hide their laughter behind their hands.

“We pass the diner on the way home, and if yours or Liam’s car is there, we go and get a Sub to give you both enough time to get home before us. Plus sometimes you bring back your slice of pie for dessert and leave it in the refrigerator. I just pretend I don’t know and you seem happy that you got your burger.” I shrugged my shoulders, “You’re not very good at covert ops Dad, lucky you didn’t join the army or something.”

“That’s mortifying, does Liam know?” Dad said shocked.

“God, no. Will would never say anything to him, if he did, Liam wouldn’t go anymore. It doesn’t bother him that Liam likes his burgers and desserts, but it matters to Liam that he supports Will, so we both pretend we don’t know.” I smiled at Dad, “So you keep sneaking your burgers like normal, and we’ll do what we usually do. No big deal. Don’t say anything to Liam please, let him have his fun, and bring me home a slice of pie too. I like pie.”

Dad burst out laughing, “I love you Paddy, you crazy kid.” He pulled me sideways into him for a one armed hug and kissed the top of my head. My Grandparents laughed out loud at Dad and Anna snorted. She’s so delightful.

“So Patrick,” Grandma cleared her throat, “would you like to go to an Art Gallery or one of the Museums after brunch?”

I was a bit shocked, “Um…” I looked at Dad, he nodded with enthusiasm, “Yes please, as long as it’s not any trouble.”

“No, not at all, we’d quite enjoy it actually. After you’ve finished eating use the computer in the den, well, your room I suppose and find one you’d like to go to. We haven’t had much of a chance to explore since we moved here. This seems like the perfect opportunity.” Grandma grinned and went back to eating. Dad squeezed my shoulder and winked at me, before focusing on his plate.

<>-<>-<>

“Hey Sha, are you having fun?” I asked her, I miss being with her.

“Yeah, we are having a good time. I can’t wait until you come home though, I miss you.”

“I miss you too. Have I missed anything?”

“No, not really. Mom and Dad seem to have calmed down a lot, especially now that Quinn’s home for a few weeks. He read them the riot act about Oliver and the baby. Quinn’s taken Ollie, with Sebastian and Kat away for the week, camping or something. They asked me to go, but way too cold for me.” Sasha giggled, “Plus I like my bed, and heat, and indoor plumbing.”

“I get it you goof,” I can just see her face as she rolls her eyes while she talks. My girl is definitely adorable. I sighed, “I wish you were here,”

“Me too, but you’ll be home in a couple of days.” Sasha sighed as well.

“We went to the Natural History Museum at Yale yesterday. You’d love it, Sha, they have all sorts of stuff there, dinosaurs, insects – weird bugs,” I chuckled, “you’d have liked the Native American display,”

“Maybe when one of us gets our license we can go back and check it out. Tell the folks it’s a college visit.” She laughed.

“That would be cool, Grandpa snuck us out today, and we went to the Yale Art Gallery. It was so awesome. I think I’d like to study there, but it’s hard to get into, I’m not sure that I’d get in. Plus it would cost a fortune, I don't know if I'd like that hanging over my head.” I said a little defeated.

“Hey, you're definitely smart and talented enough. You know they only let so many people in a year, and there are plenty of other universities out there. Aim for Yale, Baby, you could be one of the lucky ones. And if not it won’t be because you didn’t give it your best. Duke also has a pretty good arts program, and there is always prestigious Art Schools, but I know you want to study other stuff too. All we can do is try Pat, then make the best of what’s on offer. No matter where we go, we’ll be getting an education. Look at this way, wherever we end up is where we are supposed to be. I believe that.”

“Me too, I suppose,” I smiled. Dad walked into the room, “I better go, Dad’s here. I’ll see you soon. Miss you Sha,”

“Miss you too, handsome.” I ended the call and turned to Dad, “Hey Dad, everything okay?” he had a weird look on his face.

“Um yeah…” he said frowning, “I didn’t mean to eaves drop, but did you say something about going to Yale?”

“Yeah, I doubt I’d get in though, and it’s way too expensive for an arts degree,” I said feeling a bit guilty.

“Paddy, I don’t want you worrying about money for college, we’ll work something out when the time comes. If you want to go to Yale, then I will do everything in my power to help get you there. My wish, for you, is to go to the college of your choice and get the degree you want. If it’s a degree in the Arts, then that’s what it is. But don’t worry about the money, do what will make you happy.” Dad said squeezing my hand.

“It’s long ways off yet Dad, things might change between now and then.” I tried to placate him, I don’t want him to feel obligated to pay for my education. I’m sure I’ll find my place sooner or later. “We’ll just wait and see how the next few years go.” I smiled, “I might become a serial killer and need help funding my defense yet. You never know.”

Dad laughed, “I think I’ll be locking my door at night and getting rid of all the knives in the house.”

“Probably the safest option for yourself, they say serial killers start close to home.” I gave him an evil grin.

Dad stood up off of the bed grinning and pulled me to my feet. “Come on Your Grandparents are going to teach us how to play Bridge,” Dad rolled his eyes. “Next time you promise Grandma something, don’t include me, I’ve avoided that game for thirty-four years. Now I have no choice, and you will pay, I assure you.”

“Poor Daddikens, it must be so hard being you,” I laughed and gave him a wet willy and ran down the hall where the cards were set up. Dad was hot on my tail, trying to dry his ear with his t-shirt. I could hear him muttering under his breath about teenagers and kids.

Grandma looked up in surprise, with a smile on her face, “What are you two up to?”

I grinned at her, “Just getting a little payback for a prank Dad pulled on me,”