Ian's Heart - 7. Chapter 7 - Ian

“Love you too, Grandma here’s Dad,” Paddy smiled smugly gently tossing me the cordless phone we used for the landline.

“Hi Mom,” I said timidly.

“Are you too good to ring your Mother back? Are you trying to avoid me? You know I’m the only Mother you’re going to get.” Mom said laying the guilt on thick.

“Mom, I wasn’t avoiding you.” I said gently, “We’ve had a busy week is all, every time I thought to return your call, it was too late to do so.” That was partly the truth, I meant to call her, but each time I remembered, it was late at night. And if I learned anything growing up living in my Mom’s house, it would be if you called her home after nine pm someone better be dead. I run my hand through my hair out of frustration, giving Pat a pointed look, he smiled smugly and dropped onto the other couch out of reach.

“Honestly Ian, that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. You know you can call me anytime, day or night.” Mom said clucking her tongue at the end. Sure I could; if I had a death wish.

I love my Mom, she makes me laugh – never to her face of course. The woman is a contradiction in terms, she lives by the parenting skill, do as I say not as I do. And if you know what’s good for you, you do as she says. Mom could discipline with one hand and at the same time shower us with love and affection with other. My Dad is a quiet guy, even tempered. When he talks it usually counts. He doesn’t believe in talking unless there’s a need. I take after him mostly. However, I do interact a little more than he’s willing. He always says “I rule this house, with your Mothers iron fist.” So basically he’s a hostage – happily so.

“Mom, we are coming, but we’ll arrive the day after Christmas. We have already committed ourselves to Bill’s family for Christmas Day itself.” I said hoping it wouldn’t broker an argument. “Our flight home is on New Years Day, is that okay if we stay the week. Do you have enough room for us, or do I need to find a hotel close by?” I asked trying to appease her and change the direction of the conversation.

“That’s fantastic, Ian, I’ll finally get to hug my Grandson. Oh, this is excellent news.” I could hear the emotion in Mom’s voice. “Of course, you’re staying with us, one of you can sleep on the futon in the den, the other in the guest room.”

Mom and Dad were over the moon when I had adopted Patrick, I’d given them their first grandchild. They’d already come to terms, having children wasn’t in the cards for me, so they were thrilled when I told them. I believe Mom saw it as a step forward and me letting go of the hurt I clung onto so dearly, after losing James. When we see them I’ll ask them to come and visit, seeing me in my new life, they may relax a little. I’ve made a life here, a Kentucky family. I don’t stay home anymore, wishing for something that just isn’t possible. Pat living with me forces me to get out among the living from what probably would have been my self-imposed prison without him.

“I’m glad you’re happy Mom, sorry I didn’t contact you before now. We’ll talk more when Patrick and I get there. Don’t worry about picking us up from the airport, I’ll get us a rental car.” I informed her not to go to any trouble.

“Nonsense young man, you’ll not be wasting your money in such a manner. Send me your itinerary, and I will make sure one or both of us will be there to collect you and Patrick.” Mom replied firmly, “I’m going to go now so you can’t change your mind. Love to you both, and I’ll see you in a week.” Mom promptly ended the call before I could get a word in. I laughed hanging up on my end.

Pat was scowling intensley at his phone, his knuckles white from the grip of which he held the device. His attention diverted from the television.

“Everything alright Love, you look upset?” I asked Pat. He looked over at me with wet eyes and a devastated expression, “What’s wrong Paddy?” I lifted myself off of the couch, moving over to his and sat next to him.

Pat cleared his throat, “Sasha’s Dad wants to stop us from seeing each other,” his voice croaky, from talking around the lump in his throat and holding back tears.

“What happened for him to have such a change of heart? I thought you got along with her parents?” I asked concerned.

“I do, they used to like me… I’m not sure if you know, but Katherine is pregnant.” Pat paused for my response, but I schooled my reaction and waited for him to continue, “she and Oliver have decided to keep the baby, and Kat’s parents threw her out. Sasha’s Dad all but tossed Oliver out too. He didn’t exactly do that, but Oliver left with Katherine, and they are living with Uncle John and Uncle Bill at the moment,” Pat recounted the event, “Now her Dad doesn’t want Sasha having a boyfriend, he’s convinced the same will happen to her.” Tears slid involuntarily from his eyes.

“Oh Pat, Sweetheart, he’ll calm down. What did Sasha say?” I reached out and took his hand in mine.

Paddy smiled cheekily, through his tears, “She told him in her usual Sasha way I imagine, that there was no way in hell she was giving me up. We weren’t doing anything wrong, that she nor I were ready for sex and I had not pressured her even suggested we do so.” He chortled, “I’m sure she’s given me the clean version, I doubt very much there wasn’t more to that conversation than she is letting on.”

“So Sasha didn’t suggest you break up then, she’s was only telling you what happened?” I asked him in an up beat way.

“Yeah, I guess. What if her Dad makes it hard, and she doesn’t have any choice but to break up with me?” Pat suggested sadly.

I squeezed Pat’s hand, “Have you ever known Sasha to do anything other than what she wants to do? And if I know that girl the way I think I do, nothing is going to stop her from seeing you. She won’t hide it from her Dad either, she’ll just keep reassuring him nothing is going on, and he’ll eventually give in.”

“Do you think so, I don’t want to lose her Dad?” Pat asked me.

“I know so, her Dad will calm down. Don’t sneak around either that will cement his concerns. Go about the way you both always have, and it will get better. Avoiding him isn’t the answer.” I assured Pat.

“I hope you're right.” Pat leaned forward and hugged me, I held him until he was happy to let go. I love his hugs, even though they are bone crushing at times. They always comfort me, especially when he initiates them.

Slowly we both seemed to be letting go of past baggage, and it feels like we have always been a family. I wish James could have met Patrick. He would have adored him. The way Pat has come along in the past three or four months, it’s been amazing to see. Although Pat still refuses to go to counseling, I do hope one day he will agree. Forcing him isn’t the answer, I feel it would be a waste of everybody's time at the moment. I really don’t think he would participate unless he chose to go himself. He isn’t withdrawing or acting out, it’s quite the opposite. Paddy seems to have come out of his shell and letting the past go a little at a time. Truth be known, I’m a little jealous of his resilience. If only I could do the same.

The thought of moving on from James still scares me, his memory seems to comfort me in a lot of ways. But Pat’s right I can’t keep hiding behind his memory. James would kick my ass if he knew I hadn’t re-joined society and moved on from him, toward a new life. He must have made me promise a million times I wouldn’t lose myself after he was gone. That man knew me better than I knew myself, I still love him so much, it's hard to think of myself being happy with anyone but him. At least Pat’s got me thinking about attempting to move forward, instead of living in the past. It’s going to be hard to even put myself out there, but I should set a good example for Pat. Plus it would probably be nice to find someone to cuddle up to on a cold night or just have the simple comfort of knowing someone is there.

Maybe if I bump into the strawberry guy from the Farmer’s Market again, I’ll talk to him instead of hiding. I could start out with getting his name, invite him for a coffee. Start there, if nothing else we could at least be friends. It certainly couldn’t hurt to have someone pretty to look at. I wonder how Pat would feel about me dating. What am I thinking, wasn’t he the one who suggested it in the first place? I wouldn’t bring them around Pat unless I were sure of them though, Pat’s had enough heartbreak and disappointment to last him a lifetime.

“Goodnight Dad, love you,” Pat said bringing me out of my own head.

“Huh? Oh, good night Son, Love you too.” I smiled, and Paddy left to go to his room.

<>-<>-<>

“Okay everyone settle down, I know it’s the last day of school before Christmas break, but we have a lot to get through,” I smiled internally, it’s fun to mess with teenagers.

The entire class groaned as they all unpacked their bags ready to start the class.

“I’m messing with you, put your stuff away,” I shouted over the groans, this elicited more groans as they packed their books back into their bags, “We’re going to have a little fun today, AND there will be a reward. I want you all to split into four even groups, please. I will be giving each team a sheet of paper, it has a skeletal picture. I’d like you to put your heads together, and name all of the bones. The first team to get all 206 bones correct, will win automatically. However, just because a team, finishes don’t give up. If that team doesn’t have it correct, your team is still in the running. Fear not, if no team finishes within the allotted time, for each correct answer a point will be rewarded. The winning team with the most points at the end of the allotted time will get a free pizza lunch from Antonio’s in this room first day back after Christmas break.” I informed them, rumbles of “yum,” “pizza,” “yes,” were heard around the room. Looking around at the eager class of students, I could practically see longing of the pizza in their future, “Put the name of your team on the top of the sheet and the names of the team members on the back. You have twenty minutes, don’t waste them arguing if you can’t agree, skip it, move on and go back to it when you’ve finished the others. Anyone caught using any type of technology or book to get the names of the bones, will disqualify the entire team. GO!”

I set the timer on my phone and sat down in my chair at the head of the classroom, listening to the kids argue with each other lightly while they figured out what the correct names were. Once the timer was set, I opened the internet app and re-commenced reading the story that I fell asleep to last night. Ah! Thank god for Amazon Online.

From: Patrick
Message: Dad, can I go off campus with Will, Liam, Kat, Ollie, and Sasha for lunch.

To: Patrick
Message: I don’t know Paddy, how would that work. I’m a teacher here.

From: Patrick
Message: Please Dad, my classes have been a bust this morning. There hasn’t been any real school work.

To: Patrick
Message: Fine, but I’m going to set a good parental example and blackmail you with it. I want to go to the Carols by Candlelight tonight, and you and Sasha are coming. Where are you going for lunch?

From: Patrick
Message: Chili’s I think.

“Uh… Sir, you wouldn’t be texting in class would you? You know it’s against the rules right? You’ll get a detention.” A young girl Amber called out while laughing at her own joke.

“Definitely not, I would never do that, like you said it’s against the rules,” I smirked calling back to her, while I put my phone down on my desk and holding my hands up to show her the phone wasn’t in my hands. It got a few chuckles.

I quickly wrote Patrick two notes to get out of school for the rest of the day, as he appeared at my class room door. I handed him one of the notes.

“Don’t think this will happen again Sunshine because it won’t.” I gave Pat one of the notes, “Take that to the office before you leave please.” I said to him, I took my wallet out of my back pocket, pulled a fifty dollar note and gave it to Pat, “Lunch is on me, have fun today Love, and I meant what I said we’re going out tonight to the Carols by Candlelight,”

“I know Dad, Sasha already asked her Mom, they’ll call you later to confirm that’s where we are actually going, and that we will be “Supervised,” Pat grimaced.

“That’s okay,” I chuckled, “They’ll calm down Pat, just be patient with them. It can’t be easy for any of them at the moment.”

“I know, thanks, Dad,” Pat held up the money, “Love you,” he whispered.

“Love you too, Son,” I said in a normal voice so the other kids could hear while I chuckled at his red face, “Off you go, see you tonight.”

I giggled all the way to my desk, Pat didn’t even check the note I gave him. I wonder how long it will take for him to come back to me and ask for a real note for the office. I snickered to myself, all proud for messing with Pat and sending an email to Ms. Abrahams, the admin lady in the office.

Hey Ellie, my son Patrick will be giving you a note to leave for the rest of the day. Please ensure maximum discomfort when you receive the note. If I could ask you not to add it to his file, I’ll supply you with a proper one later this afternoon. Regards Mr. Wright, Science Department.

“DAD!” Pat yelled as he approached my desk, “I can’t give this to the office, have you lost your mind.” I snickered and held up the other note, “It’s not funny, what if I had handed that in,” Pat snatched the other note from my hand leaving the class room shaking his head. All my students were looking at me.

“What?” I said rereading the note, I had given to Pat, “I’m allowed to mess with my own son,” I snickered.

“Please excuse Patrick Wright from school
for the rest of the day,
due to severe menstrual cramps,
Regards Ian Wright.”

I went back to reading my story with a big grin on my face. It really is fun to mess with teenagers. After about five minutes a bunch of texts rolled in.

From: Will
Message: That was a rip snorter Uncle Ian, well done.

From: Liam
Message: LOL, LMAO, ROFLMAO, HA HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It was great.

From: Sasha
Message: That was a little mean, Uncle Ian. Don’t tell Pat I said this, but it was funny.

From: Ollie
Message: You’re definitely the best teacher on the planet. You can write all my excuse notes from now on.

From: Patrick
Message: Really Dad, severe discomfort from hemorrhoids, that was the best you could come up with. Ms. Abrahams gave me suggestions for the relief of hemorrhoids. Loudly… For everyone to hear… I will get you back Dad.

From: Kat
Message: Um… Uncle Ian, watch your back he’s conferring with Will and Liam so he can get you back. Just thought I’d give you a heads up.

Holy Shit! He’s going to cling wrap me to my bed or something.

“Okay, times up. Hand over your papers,” I called out, all my students groaned with displeasure.

<>-<>-<>

“There Uncle Ian, it looks big enough a gap for us to lay our blanket.” Sasha smiled and pointed to an opening between the sea of people who’d gathered for the Carols by candlelight. Sasha led the way as Pat, and I loyally followed.

We laid the blanket down, and we sat down making ourselves comfortable. The local Firehouse had organized the event to raise money so they could provide food hampers for the Christmas period to families who couldn’t afford it. They were also accepting wrapped presents for the kids. I’d bought a couple of lego packs and wrapped them for Sasha and Pat to put under the tree. All we had to do was mark a tag for the age group. I asked Pat before doing it, he still hasn’t shared much of his Christmas experiences with me, so I was trying to be sensitive to his feelings. He was more than happy for me to do so. Pat also went and bought another present each for him and Sasha to put under the tree.

The MC for the night was up on stage saying a few words, then introduced the first singers for the evening, which was the choir from the local Middle School. They came onto the stage and took their positions. I wasn’t too sure how it was going to pan out at first. All the kids looked so nervous. Once the music started, they belted out an upbeat version of Here Comes Santa Clause, backed by our high school orchestra.

“How great are these guys Dad,” Pat looked at me grinning, he was cuddled up, with Sasha between his legs and her back to his front, her head resting back on his shoulder watching the concert. I smiled warmly at Pat and squeezed his shoulder quickly. We returned our focus back to the kids singing. I couldn’t help taking little glances at the young couple to make sure they were enjoying themselves, I did blackmail them after all. Half way through the night the pair still had that look on their face, like they were creating a memory and both were taking it in. My heart fluttered, and my belly flip flopped at the sight of their young love. It was heartwarming to see as well as the thought that Paddy was finally having a Christmas Holiday that was going to be a good memory for him.

Sasha, I noticed was shivering a little, and Pat was trying to keep her warm, “Sasha, Sweetheart, is there any more hot chocolate left in the thermos you should have some. Warm yourself up.” I said to her.

“There isn’t any left, I was going to go and get us some from the shop,” Sasha answered.

“Oh, no, you stay there I have a spare blanket in the car, I brought in case we got cold. I’ll go and get it for you two and grab some hot chocolates on the way back.” I said as I got up, “Actually give me the thermos, I’ll see if they will fill it back up for us. Save any of us having to go back and get more.” Sasha passed the thermos to me.

“Are you sure Dad, I don’t mind going?” Pat asked.

“No you both look so comfy and happy there, I don’t mind. I forgot to grab it when we here.” I smiled and turned walking toward the snack shop.

Ms. Abrahams, the office admin lady at the high school, was volunteering at the snack shop. When she saw me in the line, she motioned for me to go to her.

“Hi Ian, are you enjoying the carols?” She asked brightly.

“I am thank you, Ellie. What about yourself?” I asked her.

“Oh yes, it’s wonderful seeing so many people here enjoying themselves, even in the cold. And it’s to make sure families have a decent Christmas, a worthy reason to be out in this weather.” She giggled, “Can I fill your thermos up for you, we have been doing for others tonight. We are charging $10 for a thermos this size, is that okay?”

“Yes that would be great, we’ll have a hot chocolate, please. I just have to run to my car and grab another blanket. Pat’s poor girlfriend is shivering, I don’t want her to get sick.” I smiled and handed her a twenty, “Keep the change as a donation.”

“That’s very generous of you, Ian, thank you. I’ll have it ready for you by the time you return.” Ellie smiled and gave me a little wave as she turned away to serve another customer.

My stomach flip flopped, and I tried to ignore it, the doctor said I was fine, and I am. I spun on my foot and went to make a hasty exit to the car, and smacked straight into a wall. I looked up, and there was my Strawberry guy. Well, he isn’t my man, but… Oh my God, he smells so good. I smiled, then let out a chuckle.

“People are going to talk if we keep meeting like this,” I said to him grinning.

“Huh?” He tilted his head as if he didn’t understand what I was talking about. I saw the light go on, as he remembered me, “Eh! Let them talk, while they’re talking about us they’re leaving other’s alone.” He waved his hand dismissively.

“That’s a nice way to look at it.” I smiled nervously. What do I say to this guy? Should I offer to buy him a coffee? “How long did your strawberries last?” Great Ian, could you come up with anything lamer.

He chuckled, “Not long, they were gone by the time dinner came around.” The man looked uncomfortable as he looked around the crowd nervously, then back to me where his eyes landed on mine and didn’t move. We were standing on the spot like two morons, smiling at each other as people walked around us. I could feel the butterflies flapping more fiercely in my chest the longer we stood in silence. The man certainly is gorgeous, he’s built, wide shoulders, tall. I’d like to see more, but he’s wearing a thick coat over what looked like a suit. He must have come straight from the office or something. Surely he’s married with a family, a man this beautiful couldn’t possibly be single. He’s not wearing a ring. Not that I’m looking, but someone like him could certainly make me think about looking in his direction. He eventually broke the silence, “Can I buy you a coffee or hot chocolate?” He asked me still smiling and pointing to the snack shop.

“Oh um...” I looked at the line, “Sure,” what else was I going to say. I just couldn’t leave his side, my feet were glued to the spot. My stomach was doing the flip flop thing again, and the butterflies were going crazy. Maybe it’s my body telling me, “time to move on Ian, put yourself out there,” I smiled as we went to progress into the line.

“Hey Hotshot, we’ve got a call. There’s a problem out in the car park.” A very pretty woman said quickly as she slapped my man on the shoulder and kept moving forward swiftly. There I go again, he’s not your man Ian. It still made me a tiny bit jealous, I’ve no idea why.

He gave me a weak smile, “Raincheck?...” he asked pausing for a second but ready to run after the woman. “Did you want to grab some lunch with me tomorrow? The Turtle Ridge Café, say one o’clock?”

I nodded my head quickly agreeing and grinning like an idiot. Smooth Ian.

His smile lit up his whole face, “Great, I’ll see you then. I better go.”

“Ian!” Ellie called out to me, taking my attention from my strawberry guy. She held up my thermos, showing me it was ready. I looked back to say something to… Crap he’s gone. I forgot to get his name – again. Damn it, oh well, hopefully, I’ll see him tomorrow for lunch. I slowly walked over to Ellie, scanning the crowd for my strawberry guy, but couldn’t see him anywhere.

Disappointed I walked back to where I had left the kids. Completely forgetting about retrieving the blanket from the car. Sasha and Pat ha a blanket wrapped around them, “Where did the blanket come from?” I asked sitting down on ours and giving the thermos to Sasha.

“My Mom brought it over, when I told them we were going to Carols by Candlelight, they decided to bring the family. At least they had the decency to sit on the other side away from us.” Sasha said bitterly.

“Sasha, be patient with your parents, it has got to be a shock for them. You have to admit it’s not what any parent envisions for their child, having a baby so young is going to be hard on Oliver and Katherine. Your parents are going to find it hard watching their own kids struggle without being able to help. They will settle down, and remember this isn’t about you and Pat. Once the baby comes along, all your parent's focus will shift to being Grandparents and things will go back to normal.”

“I hope so,” Sasha said quietly.

“I’ve met your parents, they love their kids, and they are all about family. You just keep doing what you normally do and try not to react to their insecurities at the moment. Be excited, Sweetheart, you are going to be the favorite Aunt.” I chuckled.

“Yes, I am.” Sasha grinned, “I’m excited about the baby, and I’m going to spoil him or her rotten. I will be the favorite out of all the Aunt and Uncle’s, you wait and see.”

“You have met Will and Liam haven’t you? You might have a fight on your hands there Love,” I laughed.

Sasha burst out laughing, “I’ll take them on any day of the week, they’re no match for Aunty Sha,” she puffed out her chest and threw her fist up and away from her body, throwing down the challenge. She’s a handful, in the best possible way. Pat, and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud by her posturing. If anyone could take on Will and Liam and win, I believe it would be Sasha.

At the end of the night, Sasha’s parents came by and picked her up to go home with them to save me the trip.

“Thanks for tonight Dad, I really enjoyed it.” Pat smiled at me as we walked to the car.

“I’m happy to hear that, it can be a special time of year if you give into it.” I chuckled.

“It’s been the only Christmas I ever remember enjoying, and I’ll definitely be looking forward to it next year. I can’t thank you enough Dad.” Pat said and threw his arm around my neck pulling me to him and kissed my temple, “You really are the world’s best Dad,” he chuckled as he released me.

“And you my son, are world’s strongest kid,” I said to him rubbing my neck, he looked at me poked his tongue out and shrugged his shoulders.

“Brat!” I exclaimed, and Paddy laughed.

<>-<>-<>

I made it to the café by a quarter to one. I got there early because, if Strawberry guy was on his lunch break I didn’t want to make him wait. When I entered and looked around to see if he had already arrived, but he hadn’t. So I ordered a coffee and found a small table for two and sat down nervously people watching. That felt a little creepy, and my nerves were starting to get to me so I pulled out my book, I knew if I read while I waited it may help me calm down.

I was so engrossed in the story I was reading that it was almost three o’clock, four coffees, and a pastry by the time I realized he hadn’t shown and I’d been stood up. A little angry and disappointed I left the café and headed home. I know it wasn’t a date, and we didn’t really know each other, but I felt been hopeful that maybe it could be. I went home and locked myself in my room, cuddling James’ picture and let a few tears fall at my own foolishness, thinking I was actually ready to get back out there. I miss him so much if only he could be here just for a minute to cuddle up with me and tell me everything will be okay.