Jump to content
    Headstall
  • Author
  • 133 Words
  • 1,619 Views
  • 12 Comments
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Headstall's Poetry Prompts - 18. Chapter 18-Poetry prompt 4 and 5- Melancholia

I combined Meter 1 and Rhymes and couplets again. This time with 10 syllables per line.

Headstall’s Poetry Prompts

 

 

Chapter 18-Poetry Prompt 4 and 5- Melancholia

 

 

 

It swirls all around me, this live dead thing

Foul taint fills my air, and no birds will sing

 

At times the assault of it shuts me down

Sorcerer dancing, black shroud for a gown

 

Invisible strings play games with my fate

Strive for the surface, but always too late

 

Sadness sears me like a burn from a brand

Claws that shred me while my heart fills with sand

 

It’s a fight to the death, at all costs win

Caving is tempting, letting go is a sin

 

This night is done, blessed dawn won’t be long

Pray birds find voice, I would weep for a song

We all have our moments and our struggles. I have mine...
Copyright © 2015 Headstall; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 9
Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Story Discussion Topic

You are not currently following this author. Be sure to follow to keep up to date with new stories they post.

Recommended Comments

Chapter Comments

This one was sad . You did a wonderful job describing the weight of melancholy and sadness as it threatens to drown you. I think we have all been to that place a time or two.

  • Love 1
Link to comment

I envy your ability to catch your feelings so well in words. Feelings that I recognize very well. When in such a mood the certainty that "the blessed dawn won't be long" is what keeps you going. Another beautiful poem, Gary.

  • Love 1
Link to comment
On 10/17/2015 06:59 AM, LitLover said:

This one was sad . You did a wonderful job describing the weight of melancholy and sadness as it threatens to drown you. I think we have all been to that place a time or two.

Thanks, Lit... this may be an every man's(and woman's)poem. Sometimes you have to fight real hard to get out of it, when depression hits. I've had some struggles lately, and sleep is a temperamental mistress. Thanks for the review... it means a lot... cheers... Gary...

Link to comment
On 10/17/2015 07:02 AM, J.HunterDunn said:

I envy your ability to catch your feelings so well in words. Feelings that I recognize very well. When in such a mood the certainty that "the blessed dawn won't be long" is what keeps you going. Another beautiful poem, Gary.

Thank you, Peter. I'm pleased you could relate, and feel the words. I think I've told you before how much this form of expression, poetry, has come to mean to me. I couldn't stop writing it now if I tried. Your kind words are encouraging ones... thanks for reviewing... cheers... Gary...

Link to comment

Hi Gary.
Okay this one gave me goosebumps as I read it. It was dark. It was moments alone, when you're tired and upset or afraid. It's fear. It's please for god's sake let it end.
And it does when. Dawn is coming and your know you've survived another night in your own personal hell.
Nice job.
tim

  • Like 1
Link to comment
On 10/17/2015 07:34 AM, Mikiesboy said:

Hi Gary.

Okay this one gave me goosebumps as I read it. It was dark. It was moments alone, when you're tired and upset or afraid. It's fear. It's please for god's sake let it end.

And it does when. Dawn is coming and your know you've survived another night in your own personal hell.

Nice job.

tim

Thanks, tim. It's been a rough few weeks, and I needed to do some more purging. It's the nighttime that is a challenge, no distractions to prevent your mind from dwelling... I think we all feel this from time to time... like a cycle... a part of life. Thanks for getting it, and thanks for the review. Cheers, my friend... Gary...

Link to comment

I feel it's a very emotional poem, and you've found power for that sorrow in the way the couples rhyme. I'm not sure why, but I kept thinking there's a certain timelessness about this poem…reminds me somehow of John Donne (who wrote the line 'No man is an island')…don’t quite know why, but it's an impressive feeling to have.

 

I particularly like the second to last couplet:

 

"It’s a fight to the death, at all costs win
Caving is tempting, letting go is a sin"

 


Thanks for posting this!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
On 10/17/2015 11:21 AM, AC Benus said:

I feel it's a very emotional poem, and you've found power for that sorrow in the way the couples rhyme. I'm not sure why, but I kept thinking there's a certain timelessness about this poem…reminds me somehow of John Donne (who wrote the line 'No man is an island')…don’t quite know why, but it's an impressive feeling to have.

 

I particularly like the second to last couplet:

 

"It’s a fight to the death, at all costs win

Caving is tempting, letting go is a sin"

 

 

Thanks for posting this!

Thanks, AC. It is an emotional poem... it's been a tough few weeks... I don't know exactly why, but my favorite couplet is:

At times the assault of it shuts me down

Sorcerer dancing, black shroud for a gown

 

Thanks for letting me know which one you liked, and I appreciate the kind words and the review... cheers... Gary

Link to comment

A poem that hits me right in the heart. It tells me you've battled this before, which is sad, but also hopeful since you now know dawn is coming. I hope it's here.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
On 10/17/2015 04:34 PM, Puppilull said:

A poem that hits me right in the heart. It tells me you've battled this before, which is sad, but also hopeful since you now know dawn is coming. I hope it's here.

Thanks, Puppilull. I am one of the lucky ones. I am a very resilient man. I can get down and depressed like anyone else, but I conquered my demons a long time ago. I like who I am, and that's the most important thing. There was a time when I didn't want to accept who I was, and those were some dark days, with my children a part of the equation. When I get down now it's usually worry for someone else. Dawn came years ago for me, but you never forget the anguish you've suffered. This was me purging... thanks for getting this one. It means a lot... cheers... Gary...

Link to comment
  • Site Moderator

Full of a lot of angst, this one is. But I also see a soul who refuses to give in and give up.
The desire to come out on top is strong. The darkness cannot win.

 

Emotional words Gary and, as always, beautifully written.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
On 10/18/2015 03:28 AM, Reader1810 said:

Full of a lot of angst, this one is. But I also see a soul who refuses to give in and give up.

The desire to come out on top is strong. The darkness cannot win.

 

Emotional words Gary and, as always, beautifully written.

Thank you, Reader. So glad you saw it the way you did. It was about winning, no matter what depths you are in... it's that human spirit to fight adversity, and not give up. As bad as it gets, and as shredded we can be, there is always a new day coming. You get that. Much appreciated...cheers, my friend...Gary...

Link to comment
View Guidelines

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Newsletter

    Sign Up and get an occasional Newsletter.  Fill out your profile with favorite genres and say yes to genre news to get the monthly update for your favorite genres.

    Sign Up
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Our Privacy Policy can be found here: Privacy Policy. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..