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    Headstall
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Headstall's Poetry Prompts - 6. Chapter 6 Passage

Poetry prompt #1-Tanka

Headstall’s Poetry Prompts

 

 

Chapter 6

 

 

Prompt #1 Tanka

Passage

 

 

Struggling to breathe

Still leaves won’t be coaxed to move

Yet I will trod on

Clearing all thoughts is my goal

Futile attempt that it is

 

 

Punishing myself

Angry as I kick up dust

Where was my thinking

Trusting blindly stupidly

Maybe I can run from this

 

 

There is no escape

From lessons learned the hard way

Pain must be embraced

Wild fires consume the rotten

New life blooms after death throes

 

 

Weak warmth has begun

Ice concedes the battle line

Gives in gracefully

Desolation leaves and gives

Sustenance to try again

Four tankas, but connected as one.
Copyright © 2015 Headstall; All Rights Reserved.
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

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This is a tough one Gary.
I have read it through twice now (and will read it again and maybe again).
Reading the words a second time, took my thoughts in a different direction from the first.
I don't think I can do it justice by writing any further at this time, so I'm going to stop here.
And, because sometimes I just can't stop "talking", I will say this - it's a great piece of writing that like any good wine, it needs to breathe to fully appreciate the taste.

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I'll need to read what tankas are specifically are. :) I really loved the imagery and emotions that these tankas evoked. It is both beautiful and moving. Like Reader I won't go any further, because I am unfamiliar with this form :):hug:

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I actually wrote a number of tanka in HS as part of an English composition elective, yeah Japanese poetry in English class, it's my preferred form of expression.
I like that you wrote several that while evocative as individual pieces brought additional depth and insight when combined.
As with the others, I think rereads and contemplation are essential. In the last few days you have put to word a number of my thoughts. While unable to do so myself, I could immediately recognize and relate to what I was reading. I've got to thank you for this gift.

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On 08/20/2015 01:52 AM, Reader1810 said:

This is a tough one Gary.

I have read it through twice now (and will read it again and maybe again).

Reading the words a second time, took my thoughts in a different direction from the first.

I don't think I can do it justice by writing any further at this time, so I'm going to stop here.

And, because sometimes I just can't stop "talking", I will say this - it's a great piece of writing that like any good wine, it needs to breathe to fully appreciate the taste.

That's the wonderful thing about poetry, Reader. It is individual interpretation that makes the process unique. As long as it touches you, your mood or thoughts or memories or wants or hopes etc, etc, then it serves its purpose. I took out an old memory that still hurt and used it to stimulate the words from me. I love that rereading it took your thoughts elsewhere. That's awesome. Understanding what it means to me isn't necessary... just that you felt something... love it...cheers... Gary..

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On 08/20/2015 01:56 AM, Drew Espinosa said:

I'll need to read what tankas are specifically are. :) I really loved the imagery and emotions that these tankas evoked. It is both beautiful and moving. Like Reader I won't go any further, because I am unfamiliar with this form :):hug:

Thanks for reading and reviewing, Drew. It is a new form for me, and I love the participation of the individual, the 'me' it requires. You say some very nice things here, so thank you...cheers... Gary...

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On 08/20/2015 02:22 AM, Defiance19 said:

Your second attempt at a review in the forum was absolutely wonderful... thank you, Def...cheers... Gary...

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On 08/20/2015 03:10 AM, dughlas said:

I actually wrote a number of tanka in HS as part of an English composition elective, yeah Japanese poetry in English class, it's my preferred form of expression.

I like that you wrote several that while evocative as individual pieces brought additional depth and insight when combined.

As with the others, I think rereads and contemplation are essential. In the last few days you have put to word a number of my thoughts. While unable to do so myself, I could immediately recognize and relate to what I was reading. I've got to thank you for this gift.

I really like this form of expression too, dugh. It allows for a little more depth and participation than a haiku. I like that you enjoyed the combining of them... I am not sure if that is an accepted way, but it felt right. Wonderful, encouraging review, my friend... thank you and cheers... Gary...

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Quite the tempest within you describe. Also a force of nature. I'm glad it ends with a promise of "spring". I like the use of "leaves" in both the first and the last tanka. Ties it all together.

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On 08/20/2015 03:46 AM, Puppilull said:

Quite the tempest within you describe. Also a force of nature. I'm glad it ends with a promise of "spring". I like the use of "leaves" in both the first and the last tanka. Ties it all together.

Yes, it came from an emotional and angry memory :) . I'm really pleased you picked up on the leaves... I didn't expect anyone would... I was going to use 'exits' at first, but I liked the connection of a second 'leaves' in a different context. Isn't it fun to play with words? I put the four together so we/I could get to 'spring' and move on the way the seasons do... thanks for the wonderful review, Puppilull

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The first one would be very Japanese, translated into Japanese – if that makes sense. It's right at the heart of the Buddhist thought known as zen.

 

The sense of movement – of an attempt at escape – and the crunch of leaves is very effective as you carry these themes through the four Tanka.

 

Thank you for taking the Poetry Prompt challenge.

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On 08/26/2015 11:56 AM, AC Benus said:

The first one would be very Japanese, translated into Japanese – if that makes sense. It's right at the heart of the Buddhist thought known as zen.

 

The sense of movement – of an attempt at escape – and the crunch of leaves is very effective as you carry these themes through the four Tanka.

 

Thank you for taking the Poetry Prompt challenge.

You can say so much in a tanka. But one led to the next. I really like this form. I found it rewarding as I took out an old memory, and essentially exorcised it. I love these challenges. Cheers and thanks... Gary

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Gary, I liked this grouping very much. To me it was an angry walk along a tree-lined unpaved country road. The author is angry or frustrated at himself and his reaction to a situation. As he walks the angry morphs into, I guess acceptance of some sort. Finally he sees the opportunity to learn, accept and rightfully, to see forgiveness and hope.
These were personal and emotional as Tanka is supposed to be. Frankly, though I liked your Haiku and think these more personal/emotional poems are more 'you'. No offense intended.
Thank you Gary... again, brilliant work.
tim

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On 10/19/2015 12:59 AM, Mikiesboy said:

Gary, I liked this grouping very much. To me it was an angry walk along a tree-lined unpaved country road. The author is angry or frustrated at himself and his reaction to a situation. As he walks the angry morphs into, I guess acceptance of some sort. Finally he sees the opportunity to learn, accept and rightfully, to see forgiveness and hope.

These were personal and emotional as Tanka is supposed to be. Frankly, though I liked your Haiku and think these more personal/emotional poems are more 'you'. No offense intended.

Thank you Gary... again, brilliant work.

tim

You have it exactly right...well, except that I was running :) . Time plays a role in these, and he/I finally accepts, forgives , and moves on to hope. No offense taken... you're are right... these are more me... Thank you, tim. It's nice when a fellow poet finds the value in your words... cheers, my friend... Gary...

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