Not A Kiss

Great read, it was a pleasure reading this story last night. I really enjoyed Cedric's many twists and turns in the story. I do, however, wanted more development between Joey and Daniel to mend their friendship, but I think that's slightly beyond the scope of the last chapter I guess.

I hope you write more stories and after I'm done with my current reading list, I'm going to make it a point to read some of your short stories. Great job! Thank you for a wonderful experience.

On 03/03/2011 10:45 PM, J.T. said:

Great read, it was a pleasure reading this story last night. I really enjoyed Cedric's many twists and turns in the story. I do, however, wanted more development between Joey and Daniel to mend their friendship, but I think that's slightly beyond the scope of the last chapter I guess.

 

I hope you write more stories and after I'm done with my current reading list, I'm going to make it a point to read some of your short stories. Great job! Thank you for a wonderful experience.

Recipe

1 cliché of gay guy's closeted brother

1 cliché of best friends since kindergarten

3 clichés of unresolved sexuality

1 cliché of fag hag

1 cliché of college roommates

1 cliché of rich boy

? clichés of twist and turns, to taste

1 cliché of much non communication

1 cliché of much non communication (optional)

1 cliché of much non communication (optional)

1 cliché of much non communication (optional)

1 cliché of dead parent

1 cliché of peppered with spicy sexual tension

1 cliché of salty tears, use as much as you desire

Method

Mix it all up, fire it in the imaginative oven, stand back, wait. When properly risen and golden brown

Whaddayamean it's flat and burnt? OFGS. Right, look, get all the ingredients, put them in a bag, and go round to Jian Sierra's house. He'll guide you through it cos he knows how to transform all this sludge into an interesting, tasty, and mouthwatering wee story.

:

So, Jian, I believe this was your first story! Well, congratulations. It was very enjoyable. I liked Dan, though I could have happily slapped him for pissing about at 18 years of age!

I liked Lee, cos he sounds über seeeeeckseeee.

I liked Liam, cos he's just bloody scrumptious.

OK, so there was a lot of cliché. But my point in this review is that every story has at least one. And most stories have several. Whether a story has clichés or not, is not really the point. It's like complaining that all bread has flour. It's all about what you do with them.

I'll admit that this story was a bit like losing virginity. You do the obvious thing like kissing, getting naked, and inserting body parts where they feel the most pleasure, and then you start to bang it out at an incredible speed. And boy, did this go along at a rate of knots. I was speed reading to keep up at points!

But it is still an incredible experience, and you'll always remember it. Partly because it was your first ejaculation not gripping your self. Partly because it all happened waaaaay too soon. And partly because it happened at all.

The interesting bits are the surprises. I mean, Lee walking in on his roommate in entry position over his brother. I laughed a lot at that! That ending to chapter 1. Smarty pants! Joey coming back, which never ocurred to me at all. Sam keeping in touch with him, which I will stake my life on nobody having expected. The Ced confusion ... not exactly new, but damned clever in its execution.

OK, so this wasn't literary fiction. And thank god for that. It was a touching and thoughtful wee story. Yes, it had an unfair share of clichés, but every virgin (author) is going to have those. Getting it out of the system is all part of the process.

Somebody said this was their second reading of it. Well, that's a good recommendation if ever I saw one.

I think you should be very happy with this story. I liked it.

I am a pretty damned good cook, myself. I have only four recipe books, but I only use them for method, and generally only once or twice. Then I ignore them. So, even though I do all the cooking, there is never the same thing twice in our house. I hope you are now going to do the same. I'm looking forward to it. What should I bring?

On 12/12/2011 09:44 PM, Dannsar said:

Recipe

1 cliché of gay guy's closeted brother

1 cliché of best friends since kindergarten

3 clichés of unresolved sexuality

1 cliché of fag hag

1 cliché of college roommates

1 cliché of rich boy

? clichés of twist and turns, to taste

1 cliché of much non communication

1 cliché of much non communication (optional)

1 cliché of much non communication (optional)

1 cliché of much non communication (optional)

1 cliché of dead parent

1 cliché of peppered with spicy sexual tension

1 cliché of salty tears, use as much as you desire

 

Method

Mix it all up, fire it in the imaginative oven, stand back, wait. When properly risen and golden brown

 

Whaddayamean it's flat and burnt? OFGS. Right, look, get all the ingredients, put them in a bag, and go round to Jian Sierra's house. He'll guide you through it cos he knows how to transform all this sludge into an interesting, tasty, and mouthwatering wee story.

 

:

 

So, Jian, I believe this was your first story! Well, congratulations. It was very enjoyable. I liked Dan, though I could have happily slapped him for pissing about at 18 years of age!

 

I liked Lee, cos he sounds über seeeeeckseeee.

 

I liked Liam, cos he's just bloody scrumptious.

 

OK, so there was a lot of cliché. But my point in this review is that every story has at least one. And most stories have several. Whether a story has clichés or not, is not really the point. It's like complaining that all bread has flour. It's all about what you do with them.

 

I'll admit that this story was a bit like losing virginity. You do the obvious thing like kissing, getting naked, and inserting body parts where they feel the most pleasure, and then you start to bang it out at an incredible speed. And boy, did this go along at a rate of knots. I was speed reading to keep up at points!

 

But it is still an incredible experience, and you'll always remember it. Partly because it was your first ejaculation not gripping your self. Partly because it all happened waaaaay too soon. And partly because it happened at all.

 

The interesting bits are the surprises. I mean, Lee walking in on his roommate in entry position over his brother. I laughed a lot at that! That ending to chapter 1. Smarty pants! Joey coming back, which never ocurred to me at all. Sam keeping in touch with him, which I will stake my life on nobody having expected. The Ced confusion ... not exactly new, but damned clever in its execution.

 

OK, so this wasn't literary fiction. And thank god for that. It was a touching and thoughtful wee story. Yes, it had an unfair share of clichés, but every virgin (author) is going to have those. Getting it out of the system is all part of the process.

 

Somebody said this was their second reading of it. Well, that's a good recommendation if ever I saw one.

 

I think you should be very happy with this story. I liked it.

 

I am a pretty damned good cook, myself. I have only four recipe books, but I only use them for method, and generally only once or twice. Then I ignore them. So, even though I do all the cooking, there is never the same thing twice in our house. I hope you are now going to do the same. I'm looking forward to it. What should I bring?