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- 07/01/2023
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Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
Thicker Than Water - 14. Chapter 14
I am your dad, Bryan seethed. Who the fuck does he think he is, Darth Vader? Bryan put down his phone for the 39th time since Kenny went home. Calvin hadn't responded, though he had seen the message. Bryan didn't know what pissed him off more: Calvin not responding right away or that Bryan might not get another opportunity to yell at his sperm donor again. He grabbed his phone again and, of course, no more messages.
Bryan had spent much of his life wondering what he would say if given an opportunity to confront Calvin. As a little kid, it was something like, “Why did it take you so long to come for us?” When he and Caleb were put into foster care till custody could be sorted out, Bryan would've asked, “Why didn't you come back sooner?” And as Diego brought him and Caleb home for good, Bryan would've asked, “Are you going to live with us here, too?” Now, that he was close to being in high school and getting closer to being an adult, all Bryan could think to asks was, “Why the fuck are you even here, and when will you fucking going away?”
There was a soft knock on his door, which caused him to jump. He quickly hid his phone and looked at his alarm clock. A few hours passed his bedtime.
Diego opened his door and asked, “Why are you still up?”
“Nothing,” Bryan automatically responded.
“Uh huh.” Diego came into the room and closed the door behind him. He then walked over and sat next to his son. “What's going on, Chico?”
“Just thinking about Kenny,” Bryan said, only slightly lying.
“I get that. This is a big step for you.”
“Yeah,” Bryan said. “How did you deal with it?”
“Well, I was outed, so I wasn't given a choice; plus, it was a different time. Being gay used to be illegal in a lot of countries. They made sodomy laws specifically to put queer people in prison or in mental institutions. The man who invented the computer, Alan Turing, was threatened with prison time or chemical castration for being gay. He chose castration and eventually killed himself because of it, and he was the one who helped the Allies win World War II. Hell, until the early 80s, Oregon used to physically castrate anyone being released from their mental institution, and that included homosexuals; it was a requirement to get out. There are still people who think the world needs to return to such bigoted practices."
“Oh my god,” Bryan said, feeling sick to his stomach.
"Then AIDS was killing us by the tens of thousands. Ronald Reagan and his homophobic political allies didn't care because it was only affecting us queers. Hell, he didn't even address AIDS publicly until 1987. Back then, AIDS was a death sentence. Lies were spread about how you could catch it from touching an infected person to drinking after them. Homophobes used all of this to attack us, verbally and physically. It wasn't until straights were dying that something was finally done, but by then, it was too late.
“Because of that, there was a fear of anyone thought to be queer. I wish that was an exaggeration, too. I remember watching old news clips of Princess Diana hugging people with AIDS, and the press freaking out thinking that she was going to catch it.”
“But that's not true.”
“Of course not, but nobody wanted to study it or the government wouldn't let anyone study it, because it was a quick way to get rid of queer people. Anyone who caught AIDS was treated as being queer. It wasn't until a boy named Ryan White, who got AIDS through a blood treatment for hemophilia, that the public started opening their eyes. He was harassed and bullied for being queer, even by adults, despite the fact he wasn't. He was even kicked out of his school so he wouldn't give HIV to other kids. He was a kid about your age. He went on TV and became a post child for HIV awareness in a way that us queer people just couldn't break through.
“By the time he died, things started to change, but not fast enough or even in the right direction. Don't Ask, Don't Tell and the Defense of Marriage Act did everything they could to keep us in the closet. Then 9/11 made things worse, since that increased the right wing's bigotry and fear of 'others.' Bush Jr and his government wanted to bring about a new Reagan-esk era where only straight, white, Christian men had power and rights, while everyone else had theirs taken away. If it wasn't for Obama, who wasn't a saint either, I don't know where we would be. To be honest, the Supreme Court legalizing Marriage Equality is still a shock.”
“And that's when you were outed?”
“Around then. I was in love with a kid in my class. I thought he felt the same way, so I asked him out. Come to find out, he was very homophobic, and told everyone in the school that I came on to him. If it wasn't for your uncles Hector and Manny...I don't think I would've survived high school. I lost some friends, but I also gained new ones.
“However you decide to present and/or label yourself is entirely up to you, and I will support you all the way. If this is some kind of experimental phase, more power to you, but understand that this probably isn't a phase and the more you understand and accept yourself, the happier you'll be in the long run.”
“I don't think this is a phase, Dad. I've had all kinds of crushes on all kinds of people for years. Kenny is just...special. He always has been.”
“I'm glad to hear all that, Chico.” Diego gave his son a hug, looked at the clock and said, “It's way passed your bedtime, and you're still grounded for skipping class.”
“Can Kenny still come over?”
“I don't know. He seems to be a bad influence on you.”
Bryan looked very confused and asked, “How so?”
“Well,” Diego replied, “he got you to skip school and you've been in fights because of him. I think you're attracted to bad boys.”
“Oh yeah,” Bryan said sarcastically, “Kenny is a real bad boy. Did you know he squeezes toothpaste from the middle of the tube?!”
“That settles it then,” Diego said, standing up. “I forbid you from dating him. We can't have that kind of chaotic nonsense around here.”
Bryan chuckled, “Good night, Dad. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Chico.” Diego turned off the light as he left, closing the door behind him.
For a few seconds, Bryan forgot about Calvin and his message, then he felt his phone vibrate. He unlocked the screen and saw it was a message from Calvin.
“I get you're mad at me, but that doesn't mean you can talk to me like that,” Calvin said.
Fury replaced the mirth Bryan had felt after his talk with his dad. “Oh, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. I thought you left those behind, too, when you went to Pennsylvania. My bad.”
“Why are you being like this?”
Is this motherfucker being serious right now? Bryan shouted in his head. “Seriously?!”
“I get what I did was bad, but I'm trying to make up for it.”
Bryan had to take a couple of deep breaths to calm down. “Are you seriously gaslighting me while trying and failing to make amends? Are you really that fucking stupid? Or is it that you think that I'm that stupid?”
“I don't think you're stupid.”
“So, then, we agree it's you who's stupid. Got it.”
There was a short pause. Calvin replied, “I'm not stupid either. I know I fucked up. I shouldn't have left.”
“That's where you're wrong. You shouldn't have come back. Caleb and I are happy and loved, which is something we weren't with you and Donna. Neither of you should've been parents. There are literally thousands of gay couples who can't adopt, yet you two fucks get to make all the babies you want to leave them the second you get the chance with no real consequences. That's the epitome of straight privilege.”
“I bet Diego taught you that.”
“No, asshole, my deadbeat sperm and egg donors did.”
“Can we meet so I can talk to you man to man?”
The fucking nerve of this guy, Bryan thought. “That's an impossibility.”
“Because of Diego?”
“No. Real men don't abandon their kids for some pussy across the country, so it's impossible for you to ever be man enough to meet with me on that level.”
“I just want to say I'm sorry, explain why I left and didn't come back till now.”
“I don't care how sorry you are, and I don't want to hear your excuses.”
“Please.”
“I'm surprised you're not in prison.”
“Why's that?”
“You can't seem to take, 'No,' for an answer.”
“That's not funny.”
“I wasn't saying it as a joke.”
“You wouldn't be talking to me like this if I had raised you.”
“Well, that settles that then, doesn't it? I mean, we'll never know that one for sure, will we?”
“Diego clearly hasn't taught you what respect is.”
Bryan almost laughed out loud. What little noise did come out, he quickly covered up with a cough. “More gaslighting! You truly are a simple creature. I'm not Ben Affleck. I won't fall for your reindeer games.”
“???”
Bryan just rolled his eyes. “Look, simpleton, I'm done. Contact me or my brother again, and I'll tell my dad.”
“You've said that before, and I'm guessing you haven't told him yet.”
Damn, he thought. Bryan didn't mean to let that slip. “Fine. I'll tell him in the morning, and we'll see about getting a cyberstalking charge on you.”
“Good luck with that.”
“Thanks, but luck isn't necessary when you have a lawyer.”
Calvin only responded with a thumbs up emoji.
Hate wasn't a strong enough word to describe how Bryan was feeling about Calvin. Despite everything he said to the man, Bryan was looking forward to Calvin messaging him again.
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Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
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