The Icebox - 8. Lies in Plain Sight

Zafiro

 

Today I am going to see Tin Can.

 

I’ve been dreading it the last few days.

 

The only thing that seemed to help keep my mind off it was training under our fancy new director.

 

Barely.

 

The fuck am I supposed to say to him?

 

No matter how many times I run it through my head, I find myself wanting to stop this. I don’t want to end our little thing between us.

 

At the same time, I don’t want to. I want to keep the hope that maybe I can get out of here and get back to him!

 

I’m conflicted.

 

I want to do what’s right here and sadly I have no idea what that might be.

 

Unfortunately, I have to let Henson know I’ll be missing out on training today to see Roy.

 

I’m hoping he won’t be a piece of shit and keep me from him.

 

These thoughts are eating at me and I need to talk to him about it. It’s killing me and I can barely sleep now because of it!

 

Normally I would try and make myself look a bit better for visitation day, but I’m too tired to try this time.

 

At the moment I’m curled up in bed hugging a pillow.

 

I feel awfully small right now.

 

I mean I am shorter than most in here, but that’s beside the point!

 

Right now I honestly want to be in bed with Tin Can.

 

I don’t normally get in these weird cuddly moods, but it’s hitting me at full force today.

 

It makes me feel rather pathetic.

 

How am I supposed to be alone in here for so long? I don’t even know exactly how many years I’ve been put in here!

 

“Not enough!”

 

I roll my eyes and press a button over my bed, making my music a tiny bit louder.

 

By the time I get out of here, I’m probably gonna go deaf.

As soon as I think that, I realize I wouldn’t be able to block out the voices.

 

Quickly I turn the music back off and push myself out of bed.

 

Need something else to distract myself now.

 

I could always go find Henson right now. I do need to tell him I won’t be able to come in today. Or at least I’ll be in later.

 

I do want to go beat up on something after. I know I’ll need that for sure.

 

Standing up, I stretch a bit and go to get ready to head out.

 

New uniform, brushing teeth, all that jazz.

 

Well…training days usually mean gym clothes are allowed for the day.

 

Oh that might be fun to wear to tease Tin Can. Those shorts would probably drive him wild.

 

I mean that would only happen if things go well honestly.

 

Looks like I’ll be taking a chance with this!

 

I ended up putting on the eyeliner again.

 

Leaving the room, I make my way to who knows where.

 

I have no idea where Henson is staying. I didn’t exactly pay too much attention to what he was saying.

 

Right now I’m trying to find an officer to point the way.

 

Jenkins was supposed to show up later to take me to the visitation room but I can’t see anyone right now!

 

There are a few inmates walking around.

 

Anjak nods to me with a smile as he walks past me to the cafeteria.

 

He’s getting lunch ready I guess.

 

Surely wearing gym clothes there wouldn’t be allowed?

 

This place is weird.

 

Everyday feels weirder and weirder. It almost feels like something new happens everyday now.

 

I mean randomly getting tattoos out of nowhere really takes the cake.

 

Still hate the one on my thigh the most.

 

As pretty as it is, the fact it is Cody’s pet name for me makes me sick.

 

I stretch and yawn as I walk through the hallway.

 

Really hope this talk will bring me enough peace to get some sleep.

 

I finally find a few officers grouped inside a cell. They are on their phones and smoking together.

 

Leaning against the side of the door, I knock against the bars to grab their attention.

 

“Any one of you know where I can get to Henson’s,” I ask.

 

One of them points to keep walking down the hall.

 

Well I guess that’s a bit helpful.

 

I had no idea he would be on this side of the prison. I thought he would be where the gym is.

 

The officers weren’t completely useless. I did indeed find him.

 

Henson is behind his desk typing away onto his holoscreen.

 

As soon as I walk in he looks up and leans back in his chair.

 

“We don’t start for another hour,” He says. “Something wrong?”

 

I shrug and slip into the chair in front of his desk. “Possibly. I have visitation in an soon and so I’ll be a little late.”

 

He tilts his head in confusion. “Visitation? Since when has that been a thing here?”

 

I shrug again.

 

“My visitor knows some people who pulled some strings. I’m a special case I guess.”

 

He frowns and doesn’t seem to believe me?

 

“May I ask who did the pulling?”

 

Should I tell him? I don’t really think he could do anything about it right? She’s stuck deep in their force that I doubt anyone could get her out again.

 

“A former officer visits,” I say. “His former boss helps him out.”

 

At least I think she was his boss? I don’t remember what mama was to him honestly.

 

He nods slowly. “Roy Kyung, I take it?”

 

Fuck. Of course he would know about my history with him.

 

That only confirms to me that if they all know he’s special to me, then it wouldn’t exactly be impossible for him to become a target.

 

I really don’t want another Piggy and Vero situation to happen again.

 

“Yes,” I say with hesitation. Really wish he didn’t know about him.

 

He starts looking through his holoscreen again.

 

“It would have been nice to know about this sooner,” he says. “How often does he visit?”

 

“Once a week,” I say. “On this day. Not too sure what exact one it is.”

 

Henson keeps a frown on his face as he looks at his screen.

 

Sadly I can’t see what he’s looking at.

 

“You’re free to go,” he says. “Next time, let me know when something comes up. I need to know everyone’s schedules and where they are in the prison at all times.”

 

I suppose that is how things are supposed to go right?

 

Just weird someone is finally taking charge here.

 

I nod along and get up to leave. “Alright I will, bossman.”

 

As I’m leaving, I see him staring at his screen still. He has a face of confusion.

 

I have a feeling it’s about me.

 

“Something bad is going on!”

“What if he stops our visitation day?”

“NO!”

 

I wasn’t necessarily trying to think that but now it’s all in my head.

 

Honestly if he takes away visitation day, I’d quit this whole squad mess.

 

I’m doing it because I’m bored, but the bonus of getting out of here to get to Tin Can has become more appealing.

 

I need to see him as my little fix that not everything in here is important! The real world is out there. I can’t forget that.

 

As much as the voices like to say otherwise, I still don’t want to let them have the satisfaction of being right.

 

I jump when a hand touches my shoulder.

 

“Was looking for you,” Officer Jenkins says. “Are you ready to get going?”

 

Already? I thought I had another hour.

 

Checking my wristband, I’m surprised to see the hour has indeed passed.

 

The fuck is happening?

 

I just walked out of that office!

 

Jenkins’ smile slips away. “You alright? You’re looking a little nervous.”

 

No! I will not miss out on this!

 

“I’m good,” I say, a bit breathless. “Just a bit tired. I’ll get some after.”

 

He nods and leads the way.

 

I’m so confused.

 

I swear it was only a few seconds that had passed. The scary thing is that clearly I moved away. I’m not near the office. I’m back near the showers somehow?

 

Have I been mindlessly wandering the halls?

 

Out of the corner of my eye, a spark of red neon dances along the wall before disappearing when I try to look at it better.

 

Fuck things are not getting better.

 

This is getting real scary now!

 

We arrive at the visitation room.

 

I can hear the gym from here. Music is blasting in the distance from there.

 

Jenkins lets the doors slide open and then I am nudged inside.

 

Tin Can smiles at me and waves.

 

Now it feels like all the stress has washed away.

 

Sitting in my chair, I give a small smile.

 

Reality is setting in again that now is the time for this talk.

 

“I missed you,” He practically beams at me. “Hope you’ve been doing alright since I last saw you.”

 

I sigh and lean on the table. “So much has happened. I don’t even know where to start.”

 

He raises his eyebrows in surprise. “That’s a surprise. You usually only want me to talk your ear off about life on Earth.”

 

Let’s start small.

 

Fuck nevermind. I’m probably not allowed to mention the new squad.

 

The last thing I need is for him to get in trouble with this again.

 

Well shit I guess we’re skipping starting small.

 

“Uh,” I bite my lip. “You remember Zee?”

 

Tin Can nods, clearly concerned. He’s probably thinking I got in a fight or something.

 

“We may have-,” I am about to keep speaking but then the door opens behind me.

 

It makes me jump in surprise and whirl around at the intruder.

 

It’s Officer Henson.

 

Jenkins stumbles in behind him along with another officer in tow.

 

“Sir,” Jenkins says. “Sir, we can explain.”

 

I narrow my eyes in confusion.

 

What is going on?

 

~~~

 

Officer Atticus Henson

 

When Zafiro had told me about visitation, I knew something was up.

 

Nobody else in this place is allowed visitation.

 

When he mentioned how someone managed to change things around for him, I thought it was bullshit.

 

These other officers are lazy. They definitely wouldn’t go out of their way to set up bringing a visitor here and sending them back planetside once a week.

 

So I waited.

 

I wasn’t going to go there immediately. I wanted to make sure that nobody would think I’d show up.

 

At first I thought maybe ‘visitation’ was a codeword for something more.

 

I don’t trust these other officers.

 

The weird urge to protect this kid are high at the moment.

 

When I walked into this ‘visitation room’ I didn’t expect to find Zafiro sitting in a chair and staring at a wall.

 

Nobody else was in here.

 

Alright it wasn’t just a wall.

 

He was talking to a picture on a holoscreen. It is an image of Roy Kyung I’m guessing.

 

“What the hell is this,” I say, turning to Officer Jenkins. “I need an explanation immediately!”

 

Zafiro frowns and glances at the picture, shrugging at it.

 

I think it’s starting to click now.

 

Officer Jenkins stammers over his words, trying to come up with some lie to downplay this.

 

I shake my head. “You’re getting the fuck off this moon! I can’t believe you would do this! How fucked up do you have to be to mess with someone like this?”

 

He shuts up and keeps his eyes on the ground.

 

The damn coward.

 

Reaching for the holoscreen, I turn it off.

 

Zafiro blinks and stands up abruptly, knocking over his chair.

 

His eyes widen as he stares at the wall and back up at me.

 

“W-what happened?” He exclaims.

 

He’s breathing fast again like before.

 

I reach out to him. “Zafiro calm down! They were playing a trick to mess with your mind.”

 

He smacks my hand away and backs up into the wall of this little room.

 

I’m fairly certain this was a broom closet at first.

 

“T-this isn’t real,” He shouts and grabs at his head. “I’m sleeping or something!”

 

I really wish I knew how I was supposed to handle a situation like this.

 

“Zafiro,” I say as calmly as I can. “I’m sorry but it’s real.”

 

This is more worrying than anything.

 

He was talking to a picture. He said he did it every week! Just how often have they been playing this sick person?

 

It’s fucked up!

 

Footsteps come from the hallway before a few of the new squad show up.

 

Zee and Charlie have shoved their way in. A few others try to peek through the door since it’s so crowded in here.

 

“Everyone get out,” I shout. “Get back in the gym!”

 

A few scurry back.

 

“Fuck, Zaf,” I hear Zee breathe out. “Not again.”

 

I turn to him.

 

“Again,” I glare. “What do you mean again?”

 

He looks at me in surprise. “You didn’t know? I thought they would’ve put it in his files at least! He keeps forgetting everything here. He’s forgotten three times now. It’s like he resets to the very first day he got here!”

 

Charlie nods behind him to confirm what he’s saying.

 

“Everyone knows, Sir,” He says.

 

Turning to Zafiro, I see him hugging his legs in the corner. His eyes are wide and he’s shaking.

 

That explains why he was bitter with me when I saw him again.

 

It’s been two years since I turned him in.

 

“It’s when he learns the truth that he resets,” Charlie says behind me.

 

I turn to them. “Both of you get out. We shouldn’t overload him right now.”

 

Charlie has to pull Zee out of here.

 

Turning to Zafiro again, I bring myself close and sit next to him.

 

“It’s alright,” I say. “I’m sorry this has happened to you. Had I known just how sick you were, I wouldn’t have agreed to bring you to this place.”

 

At that he glances up at me.

 

“I’m not sick,” He says in a trembling voice.

 

I give him a look and offer my hand.

 

He huffs and turns his head away, leaning it on top of his knees.

 

“I am crazy, I guess,” He says. “I hear voices, imagine things that aren’t there, forget time passing by completely…I don’t know what I am.”

 

I frown at his words. “I’m sure we can find something to help. There’s gotta be some kind of doctors in this galaxy that know how to deal with this.”

 

He scoffs and looks up at me.

 

His eyes threaten to let tears fall but he keeps trying to blink them away.

 

“As if they would ever throw the money to do that for me,” he says.

 

Sadly he’s most likely right.

 

I’ll definitely be putting the order in, but the odds of them going through with it is quite low.

 

A thought comes to mind.

 

“Any money leftover planetside,” I ask.

 

Zafiro looks up in surprise. “No…not anymore.”

 

I shrug and settle in against the wall. “Worth the ask I suppose. I wasn’t sure how much you were earning.”

 

He looks a bit uncomfortable talking about that. Time to change the subject I suppose.

 

“I’ll take you off the squad,” I say. “Had I known how bad this was, I wouldn’t have troubled you with this.”

 

He shakes his head. “No, I want to. I can handle it! I-I need to get out of here!”

 

I wave him off. “I’ll work something out with your situation. You shouldn’t be here. You need special care.”

 

Zafiro reaches for my wrist and grips onto it.

 

It’s rather painful and I have to make him settle down.

 

“Please don’t,” He whispers as if he’s scared someone would have heard my idea. “I don’t want to go to some crazy place! The squad was a nice distraction here. Please don’t kick me out!”

 

I sigh and stare at him.

 

All I’m seeing is a scared kid.

 

“If you really want to but don’t think I won’t pull you out of future missions if things get out of hand.”

 

He nods and leans against me, letting out a shaky sigh.

 

“Alright, that works.”

 

We sit there for a moment. I let him take his time to process all this.

 

It pisses me off that the officers here would do something so despicable.

 

It’s unacceptable and I’ll make it hell for Officer Jenkins for allowing this to happen.

 

“Can I make a phone call,” Zafiro asks next to me.

 

I raise an eyebrow.

 

Absolutely not.

 

Nobody else can do it so I won’t let him get special attention.

 

“I need to know if he’s fine,” He says. “I need to. Please. I can’t live with all these lies and not knowing how things are really going on down there.”

 

Seeing him beg like that made me change my mind instantly.

 

He reminds me too much of my son when he was younger. It makes it really hard not to get attached.

 

“Fine,” I say. “It better be quick and in my office.”

 

~~~

 

Zafiro

 

I drum my fingers on my thigh as I wait for Officer Henson to find out Tin Can’s number.

 

Right now I’m freaking out!

 

It’s been two years! I’ve been in this shithole for two years!

 

I almost didn’t believe it until Henson showed me when I was checked in.

 

I’m…I’m twenty three. Not twenty one.

 

Why wouldn’t the others tell me?

 

Apparently I forget everything when I remember?

 

I don’t think I’m forgetting right now?

 

I shiver and hug myself.

 

“Need a blanket?”

 

As I look up to say no, Henson already tossed a blanket to me.

 

Deciding to cover myself with it anyways, I lean back and stare at the ceiling like I do in my cell.

 

So is this why everything feels so weird? Is this why tattoos have randomly shown up on my body?

 

Was I slowly remembering them that my fucked up brain decided they didn’t need to be a lie now?

 

Henson pulls out his cellphone and types into it before handing it over.

 

Fuck what do I even say?

 

“It says here Roy did visit a few times when you first came in,” Henson says. “After four months of visits he stopped.

 

I frown hearing that.

 

Why would he stop coming?

 

Fuck…it’s scary how many conversations I was having with a picture of him. So many scenarios that played out.

 

I suppose he was acting a bit more different than I remember.

 

Stripping in prison for me probably should’ve been a red flag.

 

“Hello?” A voice says.

 

I blink and swear everything disappears.

 

“Roy,” I breathe. “I-It’s me. Zafiro.”

 

“Oh! Did they let you out?” I hear him say. He sounds excited.

 

I then hear another voice in the background.

 

“Who is that?”

 

It’s a man’s voice.

 

“Just an old friend,” Tin Can says.

 

I grip onto the armrest of my chair.

 

“I’m not out,” I say. “I just…wanted to check on you. I was curious how things are doing.”

 

“Ah well I’m doing alright,” he says, a bit quietly. “Just getting through life. I found someone like you told me I should. It’s been pretty nice. He’s sweet and a bit of an ass like you.”

 

Oh.

 

“I see,” I say slowly. “That’s great.”

 

“Your mom moved out of sector four. I haven’t heard too much from her. She’s been pretty busy.”

 

I nod to myself. “Have you heard from Ama and them?”

 

I can hear him thinking it over.

 

“I can’t say I have. I never really got to meet them. I wouldn’t know how to honestly.”

 

Fuck.

 

So many lies.

 

“You doing alright,” He asks. “Need any help with anything?”

 

I purse my lips and close my eyes.

 

Unfortunately tears are starting to fall.

 

“No,” I huff out. “No I’m fine. They gave me a free phone call. Just wanted to check in. You have a good life alright?”

 

A slight pause from the other end. “Yeah. Yeah you too.”

 

I end the call.

 

Henson frowns as he looks at me.

 

“I’m going to bed,” I say, getting ready to go.

 

He nods to me and doesn’t stop me.