A Promise To Protect - 21. Mission - Do Your Job

The drive is mostly silent, neither Zeke or Tyler felt like talking, for fear that they might screw the whole thing up and say more than they knew they should. There was once again, the sense that they couldn’t trust each other, because they couldn't. If this were a real mission, that would be the first mistake because on the field like this you had to be able to trust the person who was by your side. Of course, it was a fine line to find, because you also had to be willing to accept and do the right thing by the service if it turned out your trust was misplaced. There had to be no hesitation or second chances, so trust was important, but so was being disengaged from any personal feelings. Yet another thing they were failing in being on this 'mission' together. Zeke knew part of his own test tonight was to find out what Tyler had been told, but he also suspected Tyler had been given similar instructions, which was making it extremely difficult to start a conversation casual and subtle enough that any information shared would be voluntary and seem incidental. Zeke couldn't exactly turn to Tyler and just ask him straight up, what G had told him. He himself had already proven to Tyler that he was excellent at not answering even the most normal and unimportant questions, which gave Tyler very little reason to assume he'd have any luck asking anything now. He seemed very distracted, not that Zeke blamed him. He remembered his first time out like this. He'd been partnered with G, receiving training from the very best. He'd also been extremely naiive, cocky and confident. He could relate to Tyler who was acting as though he'd been trained for this his whole life, like he'd just run in guns blazing and walk out of there like a boss, accomplished and unscathed. Reality was going to hurt that ego, just as it'd hurt Zeke's that first time.

The difference was, Zeke's first mission had involved real bullets, real danger and real risk. He'd gotten back in the car and been driven home with G coating him with compliments. They had come a long way from G thinking the best of him and telling him so. G couldn't actually deny that Zeke was still the best man he had on the team, he just had a personal issue with him that seemed to come out of nowhere and get persistently more and more difficult to ignore, particularly since Tyler had come into the picture. There was a time where Zeke could do no wrong in G's eyes, and now he could do no right.

They'd been driving for only 5 minutes and Zeke was already becoming unable to stand the silence because it allowed his brain to keep throwing out unhelpful thoughts about how he should throw the mission. Realistically it wasn't possible. He wanted to run away with Tyler, but G would follow him through the tracking implant so they had to stay on course. It just felt less reasonable the closer they got to their destination, that this was the best G could come up with. If he really wanted Tyler out, then he could wipe his memory in his sleep and Tyler would just wake up confused and safe, no need to trick him into accepting it. Corey would say something about Tyler's right to consent to having his memory wiped, but it wouldn't be the first time it was forcibly done to an agent without any warning, it was the harsher method, but it wasn't like he would remember whether he said no or not anyway. Sometimes it was better to be cruel to be kind.

“Are you sure you’re good?” Zeke asks gently, finally breaking the silence. He hoped that anxiety would force Tyler to admit he didn’t want to do this. Zeke was so deeply conflicted about this ‘mission’, all he wanted was for Tyler to admit he was out of his depth so he could turn the car around and get him out of this situation before it got worse. “Tyler?” Zeke asks, glancing at Tyler who'd simply been staring out the window the whole time.

“I have already said I am fine. Stop asking.” Tyler sighs, rubbing his forehead and continuing to take in actually seeing the outside world after what had been a confusing amount of time inside. He was excited to be free of the confines of his allocated room, and couldn't wait to get out of the car and feel the night breeze on his face, have moonlight shine down on him and smell grass, dirt, pollen and whatever else the world smelt like. He had decided to enjoy the freedom regardless of what happened with the night. It beat sitting in a room smelling the same musky smell of air conditioned rooms with no natural ventilation, waiting for death to find him there. If he was killed out here, at least he'd die breathing in actual air.

“Sorry I just, have never known you to be this quiet.” Zeke states, interrupting Tyler's relaxing and almost meditative thoughts.

“And I have never known you to want to talk so much.” Tyler replies coldly.

“Ah, we didn’t get to have that chat did we?” Zeke comments, pleased that he had a topic to distract from what was going on but forgetting that it was a topic that Tyler wouldn't be so thrilled to be addressing right now. It was too late to talk about it as far as Tyler was concerned. He had given up his short lived fantasy of them hooking up at any point, the moment G had offered him a job. Not that the interest was gone, just the incentive and all opportunity. Tyler hadn't gone through the last week worth of training just to throw it away for dick. It'd have to be pretty good to warrant going through the physical, mental and emotional pain he'd spent the last 7 days enduring, just to not end up actually being an agent all just because Zeke was going to pick 'too late' to finally bring up the questions.

"Well I didn’t get to, but you gave the answers you wanted to give.” Tyler states with a scoff as he rolls his eyes and crosses his arms.

“I didn’t get answers to my questions either.” Zeke replies with a shrug. Tyler cracks a smile as he remembers the subtle jealousy he'd chosen to interpret from Zeke's question about who his home screen was of. It’s silent again as Zeke tries to think of how to keep Tyler talking, but he doesn’t need to because Tyler was interested in this conversation now, only with the hopes of seeing if there was genuine jealousy.

“In case you were wondering, what I wanted for dinner was for you to show up.” Tyler states with a shrug, perfectly passive aggressive. “And, his name is Blake. The hot guy on my iPad. He’s from a band.” Tyler smirks at Zeke to see any hint of jealousy but Zeke just smiles at the lighter topic change.

“Right. So that’s your type then?” Zeke asks, hoping to keep the conversation light.

“What rich? Whose type isn’t that?” Tyler jokes. “Or do you mean the badass type that’s unattainable but would happily lead me on just to mess with my head?” Another uncomfortable silence as Zeke reads between the lines and realizes that Tyler wasn’t just talking about the guy on his iPad anymore. As Zeke is thinking about how Tyler was feeling towards him, Tyler starts backpedalling to save the awkwardness. “He’s a bit like my ex, I guess that’s why I am drawn to him, and not the two members of his band that are actually into guys. I just have to go for the type of guy that isn’t an option. The straight hot guy in a band that flirts with guys because it amuses him that they want him. The 'straight’ popular guy at school that is fine with me doing gay things with him but was never going to reciprocate because that would make him gay too.” Tyler pauses, not saying the part where Zeke fit into it, but Zeke could almost feel each comment about himself through the silence. The guy that cared about him but wouldn’t let anything happen because it would be completely inappropriate.

“I’m sorry.” Zeke can’t believe he says it out loud but Tyler seemed lost in thought enough that he mightn’t have even heard it.

“Do you ever look back on your thing with Wyatt and think of times where you knew it was getting out of hand?" Tyler asks but continues talking. "Sometimes I think about my ex and remember moments where I should have just put a stop to our relationship and known better, but just like a bull, I’m attracted to red flags. He was never going to come out. He was going to have a whole thing with me in secret and then break up with me and do the 'right thing', marry a girl. I knew that, and I thought I could save him from that by just saying what he was too afraid to say.” Another comment that fills Zeke again with guilt. He felt like he was putting Tyler through that all over again, by not telling him what was really going through his head. That night when their place was broken into and he tried to make Tyler run away then had to watch him run into almost certain death he had first felt his heart being squeezed at the idea of losing him. The intense sense of urgency he had when he was driving Tyler, unconscious and possibly bleeding out, to Corey. His feelings towards Wyatt had slipped passed professional, but it'd never really been more than just feeling guilty for what he'd put him through, and feeling stupid that he'd let his guard down. He'd never really lost the control over his feelings. He's accepted that part of him enjoyed Wyatt's company, but he had never been falling for him. With Tyler though, somehow he had accidentally become much less in control of how he felt. He’d not focused at all on trying to hold back his feelings because he hadn’t expected to feel anything but empathy. Tyler had wedged himself in Zeke’s mind and heart with a convenient excuse of protection when really the feelings had become much more than that and all Zeke wanted to do was put him out of his mind, but no matter how hard he tried, all he could think about was whether or not Tyler was ok. It wasn't his feelings for Wyatt that Zeke had let get out of hand.

No wonder Tyler wanted clarification on how Zeke felt, his last relationship was with someone so deep in denial he couldn’t even reciprocate. Zeke’s mind wanders further down the meaning of that comment, if Tyler meant that the way Zeke interpreted it, then he had been completely used by this guy. That was just completely selfish. But even thinking that, Zeke felt he was a hypocrite. He'd kissed Tyler then avoiding him just to not let himself fall any further into the feelings he shouldn’t have been having, much less acting on, that just wasn’t meant to happen. But it had happened, and he had left Tyler to feel unwanted and unimportant afterwards. It made sense why Tyler was taking any affection he could get from Zeke, even when it was clearly brushed over later. That’s what he was use to, being the person that someone else would be hot and cold with, that they would kiss and push away. Tyler deserved to know how Zeke felt, and why he couldn’t act on those feelings, regardless of whether it'd mean anything for them. They couldn't complicate things with a relationship, but he deserved to know he was worth so much that Zeke didn’t want to cause him any problems by starting something that could jeopardize his safety. That beyond what Zeke actually wanted, was the priority to keep Tyler out of all potential dangers.

It’s this thought that coincidentally fills his mind as he pulls up to park where this whole insane plan is about to play out. A plan to keep Tyler from doing something stupid like actually working for G. For the 100th time since hearing about it, Zeke is questioning whether he can go through with it knowing what it was going to do to Tyler.

“Wow. Is everywhere you scope out, this creepy and ominous?” Tyler asks. Zeke hadn't really been acting yet, but he’d have to play it up now. This was deliberately chosen as it was known as being nightmare fuel. There were no street lights and Zeke had shut off the car’s lights, reduced to a slow roll as they approached the shed that looked like it was straight out of a horror movie. Zeke's first mission was here actually, so being back here was reminding him of how terrified he'd been, chased down behind the shed, taken in and witnessing a torture that was nauseating to see, before he'd opened fire, completed the rescue and gotten back to G who had sat in the car waiting for him. Trusting him with the huge responsibility. Even though it'd been a success, Zeke felt some amount of PTSD being here again.

“Just part of the job.” Zeke comments, pulling up and parking among a few trees a short distance from the shed that was silent and dark.

“Why do you think G hired me?” Tyler asks, unable to pretend now that he was here, that he wasn’t absolutely in over his head.

“I don’t know. He always has plans and they don’t always make sense until he plays his last move. I generally don’t doubt him, he usually pulls of unexpected successes even in the wildest ways.” Zeke states, looking Tyler up and down curiously. "Why do you think he hired you?"

“I think he needs you for something, and knows he’s going to have to sacrifice someone as a diversion, doesn’t want to sacrifice any of the good staff.” Tyler shrugs very casual as he confesses what he assumed this was all about.

“You think that’s why, and yet you still took the job?” Zeke asks mortified.

“I don’t have anything to lose, and I meant what I said about wanting to help. I know I can’t help really, but if I am enough of a diversion that you can...”

“No fucking way. You are not sacrificing yourself. I am pulling the plug on this mission.” Zeke goes to start the car but Tyler puts his hand on Zeke’s to stop him.

“Too late.” He whispers, nodding in the direction of the shed, where there was now a set of lights on.

“Tyler...” Zeke starts but freezes as Tyler clicks the safety off his gun. “What the hell are you going to do?” Zeke asks.

“My job.” Tyler opens the door but Zeke pulls him back again.

“You are not doing this. I am not letting you do this suicide mission.” Zeke tells him quickly, holding his wrist tight.

“Let me do my job. I have to do this to prove that I can stay. Don’t you get it? I haven’t got a choice.” Tyler snaps.

“You always have a choice, you can call it off now and we can just go back...”

“Don’t be an idiot. This is exactly what G meant about you putting your feelings ahead of the job.” And there it was, the bait Zeke had suspected had been laid out for him. But he didn't care that he had fallen for it, that he was now not feeling like he could let this happen.

“I don’t care, your life is more important...”

“More important than who’s? Everyone else that has been hurt by these assholes? Than everyone that will be hurt if we fail this? Bigger picture Zeke! This is not about me, or you, or us. It’s about getting these guys for good so they can stop causing damage. ” Tyler states, pulling away from Zeke and getting out of the car.

"Tyler wait." Zeke urges and Tyler stops, waiting with an almost hopeful look, to know whether Zeke was going to be able to change his mind, because now standing outside the safety of the car, ready to leave the safety of Zeke's side, he was starting to doubt himself too. Only, now that Tyler was staring at him so intensely, he realizes he actually didn't have anything ready to say. It'd take nothing for him to blow the whole mission, but the words that leave his mouth are just more pointless suggestions. "Just, do what you need to. Whatever feels right. Even if that means running away. No matter what G told you to do, if you need to run, then run. Got it? I'll come and find you, you don't have to do anything just because you're here." Tyler gives a smirk as Zeke pleads with him to be smart about this.

"Wow." Tyler holds up his gun. "Clearly you're more worried about me than I am. I'm not a coward, so don't worry. Don’t wait up.” He says with a wink then rushes off, crouching as he approaches the house. Zeke presses his fingers to his neck.

“Ok Tyler has run in, claiming he thinks he’s here on a suicide mission as a diversion. Can I know what he was told now? I’m very concerned about what he thinks is going to happen.” Zeke states, as he watches Tyler sneak around the building to the back. He gets no response, is just left to wait in agonizing silence. He takes a deep breath then hears the pop of a blank bullet. Zeke could tell the difference, but poor Tyler would have no idea. Another, another, another. Tyler must be panicking, unloading a whole round. He’d only been given one gun, one round of bullets. Zeke counts them down, his heart racing and he’s swallowing down the feeling like he was right there with Tyler, terrified, powerless and left for dead. Even as someone that felt he had ‘nothing to lose’ Tyler would surely be second guessing his actions right now as he’s facing what he would undoubtedly assume is his death. Now he is out of ‘bullets’. Zeke holds himself together, he had to give Tyler a moment to get caught before he interfered in this mission but to his horror he hears the bang of a bullet. A real bullet. A bulled he’d not been told was part of this plan and with that, he decides it’s already been compromised and it's time to interfere. No one was meant to be shooting real bullets, even Zeke’s gun was full of blanks. If he had to shoot during the rescue it was meant to be fake too, but Zeke reaches under his seat, pulling out a pre-loaded gun, there was always an emergency spare in the car. He wasn’t taking any chances, not if Tyler was in genuine danger. He checks how many bullets are in the gun, only 3. At least Zeke knew if he needed to use them, he wouldn’t miss.