A Promise To Protect - 22. Mission - What The Hell Happened

Tyler was missing. That was not part of the plan and to say Zeke was angry about how badly this ‘fake’ mission had played out, would be an understatement. Still, G was allowing him to take part in the debrief with the others, not in his office because that space was too small for this confrontation, instead they were having this discussing in the Black room, which was fitting given that everyone in this room today was at fault and on trail for their actions, answering questions to define what actually happened. This was mayhem and it shouldn’t have been. It should have been easy, it should have been Zeke waiting for Tyler to leave Corey’s office for his debriefing session, escorting him to his room and then telling him what would happen next. Zeke hadn’t wanted that, but Tyler getting lost on a mission was something he wanted even less.

G’s shouting at the three returned men who were meant to have abducted him. Not one of them able to answer to what had gone down. One of them was wounded by Tyler who had managed to disarm him, take a shot and run away.

“How did he even get his hands on your gun!? HE HAD A WEEK OF TRAINING! HOW DID YOU LET HIM DISARM YOU?” G spits as kicks over a chair enraged.

“I was running after him and tripped, the gun slide across the floor...” The excuse was pathetic and the look on G’s face challenged him to keep trying to explain this one away.

“Sorry, are you new to this whole ‘running’ thing? You are lucky I am even letting Corey waste our resources on fixing you up because you deserve the pain your in. You should have to wear that scar as shame for messing this up. I handed you fucking morons this mission on a goddamn silver platter. SCARE THE NEW KID. It’s not that difficult. And you managed to mess it up in about the worst possible way!” G screams at them. It’s honestly lucky that upon their return, Corey had been instructed to sedate Zeke if he got out of hand, or this would be so much worse for all of them. Corey was standing right by him with a needle primed and ready to go at the first sight of an attack. Zeke was out for blood, as it was if Tyler wasn’t found safely before it wore off Zeke may just go on his own murderous rampage. Of course, this plan had come from G, he had orchestrated this to break Tyler so this whole situation was his fault and for that, Zeke wanted to rip his head clean off his shoulders. But the more he heard from the others, the more his anger moved to them.

This was a colossal fuck up. Tyler had exceeded their expectations and fought his way to safety and now it was a recovery mission. Zeke had spent hours searching the area but couldn’t find him anywhere, even with the help of the other agents. It was only as daybreak hit that they all had to retreat to the base to get some help.

“He's embarrassed the lot of you, honestly you are lucky you even have a job after proving how terribly you perform on the field. This was the easiest mission and you ALL failed it. The only person who pulled this off is the one who was meant to fail miserably. He’s showed you all up. Every single one of you. You should all be ashamed of your pathetic work. You are hereby suspended from all your missions until you have re-completed training and proven your competence.” G snaps. How could a fool proof mission be managed so badly? As Zeke listened to each of their accounts of the events, he can’t help but think they are all just trying to save face, that Tyler might have more to add. It didn’t make sense that one of them just happened to trip over in his pursuit of Tyler, his gun sliding across the room and Tyler making it there first. Surely that was too much luck, too much coincidence.

And how he managed to evade them all? Because he shot Brad in the foot and both the other agents stopped to check that he was ok? That wasn’t how they were trained. Unless it’s a potentially fatal shot they leave the injured and pursue the runaway. This was all against protocol and there was no way this should have gotten so out of hand.

Every part of this had fallen to shit the moment it didn’t go to plan, the moment Tyler unexpectedly fought back. And how the hell were they so poorly trained that the mere shock of someone being able to fight better than expected was enough to throw them all off. Of-course he would fight for his life, he thought he was in genuine danger. Why was there no plan b? Why did everyone assume he’d be an easy target and not even consider contingency plans for if it went off script. Someone throws the idea that he may just return, and that’s thankfully when Corey manages to drag Zeke from the room, before he can tear out the voice box of whoever had been stupid enough to make the comment.

How could he return? He had no idea where this place was, had no transport back and he was on the run from people looking to kill him, and subsequently those trying to find him to protect him were in for a game of hide and seek now with a race against time. This would have been easily sorted if Tyler had been chipped but as G had hoped he’d leave their service after this mission, he hadn’t been. So he’s out there, with no way of being easily traced, in a place he doesn’t know himself and hopefully, not dead, though the odds were wildly against him.

Zeke felt like he was having an aneurism in front of Corey who was sitting in his office, watching him pace in front of the desk. There was nothing that could stop him from going over it all again and again in his head, listing all the things that should have happened, all the information they had about what actually happened and all his fears about what could have happened to Tyler in the hours it’d been since he’d been told to return to debrief with G on the mission.

“So he’s out there, with a gun just left completely on his own. Because that dickhead set him up! What the hell am I meant to do?!” Zeke demands, not expecting Corey to have any reasonable answer for him, but just not yet done shouting out his confusion. Corey is taking this well, he was use to this, not that he’d seen Zeke this animated about anything in a long time but he was more than capable of listening to angry rants from agents after a mission had gone horribly wrong so this was just another day in his job really.

“Well, not that I’m an expert on him personally but Tyler seems like he’s resourceful...”

“He’s suicidal, is what he is. I never should have let him go out on this mission. I should have known better. I did know better and I still let him go. Fuck.” Zeke places his hands on Corey’s desk and hangs his head, feeling the weight of this whole mess consume him along with the exhaustion of a stressful day, a restless night of searching and a morning full of rage. Adrenaline was running out and tiredness setting in, though he was certain he'd not sleep until he knew Tyler was safe.

“What I was going to say is, he disarmed someone with years of training, shot him and escaped, and from his limited other experiences it does seem that he’s got a knack for getting out of dangerous situations in admittedly risky ways, though he’s not completely illogical about it. I would believe that he’s likely made a run for it and, he knows you’ll come looking for him so chances are he’ll stay somewhere out of sight but where he will be able to see you when you return. I don’t think hope is lost with Tyler. Besides, he’s proven to be very alert and quick thinking when his life is under threat from others.” Corey reminds Zeke, hoping it’d bring some comfort.

“If he’s dead it’s on me. I don’t want to keep losing people I care about, it’s exhausting.” Zeke pulls out the chair and slumps down into it, rubbing his forehead.

“You’re attached.” Corey observes with a concerned look.

“Yeah I am. I am and I don’t care that it’s a ‘bad thing’. I can’t help it, I am not a robot. I feel things, I care and I get attached.” Zeke shrugs, he felt defeated in himself, having tried so hard to avoid allowing these feelings to grow, but something had changed since last night, since he saw Tyler dressed for a mission, confident even though he wasn’t ready. Even knowing he fought back, unloaded a round of blanks then took one of his ‘attackers’ off guard and managed to steal his weapon. Fighting his way out of the set-up he was meant to be inadequately prepared to handle.

Zeke had only felt empathetic and protective of Tyler when he was scared, cutting and starving himself and hallucinating about threats and breaking down about his family’s deaths and all the horrors he’d faced. Zeke cared a lot about that Tyler. There was nothing else to it than pity.

He hadn’t been able to so easily dismiss the way his feelings towards Tyler had changed when he started to see his bravery shine through despite his trauma. He was brave enough to admit to his eating disorder, brave enough to face the invasion at their house and hold his own when he had to, brave enough to run head first into danger and drive a getaway car, without actually knowing how to drive. Even after his wrist had been sliced open he’d still managed to focus on the escape plan. Zeke appreciated the strength in that side of Tyler, he was undeniably drawn to it.

And last night when he stood in a suit, swinging a gun around, obnoxiously faking confidence, after a week of training in a job he’d taken purely out of spite, then he’d had the balls to criticize Zeke during a mission, it’d levelled the playing field. Up until now it felt completely inappropriate because of the fact Tyler relied on Zeke. An agent and the person he protected. Now though, he could see how wrong he was to assume that he held some position of power over Tyler. He could stand up for himself and that realization had hit Zeke when he had grabbed Tyler’s hand to stop him getting out of the car. He didn’t want him to go, because it finally felt right to feel the complicated way he had been denying feeling for too long already. He wanted Tyler home, back in the same bed, in his arms.

There was one thing that he needed to know for sure though, and that was something he was fairly sure Corey wouldn't answer. Still, he was the one responsible for the the mental health assessment of Tyler and Zeke was dying to know what the results of it were. He needed to know how the hell Tyler managed to pass, because despite how he was starting to realize he truly felt for Tyler, he did think he was far from mentally stable.

"What's on your mind?" Corey asks, having watched Zeke silently mull over these thoughts for a few long minutes.

"How did he even pass his mental health assessment?" Zeke asks confused. There was no way Tyler passed as being of sound mind when he was so ready to sacrifice himself at any turn.

"He didn't. Certainly not by my standards at least." Corey leans back in his seat and crosses his arms, there was a curious expression on his face, like he was still not quite sure what to make of the whole situation that surrounded Tyler.

"What?" Zeke frowns.

"He passed on a technicality. I strongly advised against it. The thing is his mental health concerns don't exclude him from being able to handle life on the field. He's a perfect candidate for it actually. That's why I am confident he is alive out there. He is a risk taker, to his own detriment."

"Do you think he's psychotic?" Zeke asks quite suddenly. Corey looks at him as though trying to understand where the thought had come from. It was obvious, but it was also not what Corey had expected him to ask.

"No." He answers. Noticing how anxious Zeke appeared before him. "Ask the question." Corey sighs. He knew there was more to it and he knew exactly where this conversation was going.

"What question?"

"You know what question. Come on. Lets just get this conversation over with." Corey shrugs, though he didn't sound frustrated with Zeke, he simply sounded tired.

"Is there any situation at all, where you would tell G about this?" Zeke asks, he'd revealed a lot about himself during sessions with Corey, but this felt like something he couldn't say out loud, even to Corey. Still, there was no one else that would be able to answer it for him and Zeke didn't want to do anything until he knew for sure.

"You know I take confidentiality very seriously." Corey states.

"That wasn't a no." Zeke points out.

"It wasn't. It would have to be an extreme reason and one I don't think this is going to be applicable for. I can't imagine any suitable reason for it to become necessary to talk about with anyone else." It wasn't a completely secure answer, but it was enough. Much like Tyler, Zeke was feeling the need to just throw himself in the deep end and hope for the consequences to never catch up with him.

"Is Tyler of sound of mind... If I was to reciprocate his feelings..." Zeke found it harder to say what he wanted to say, now that the words were coming from his mouth he felt weird about what he was asking. He simply didn't want to end up with Tyler feeling used, like he had with his ex. The last thing Zeke wanted, was to take advantage of Tyler being vulnerable.

"Do I think he's mentally capable of having a relationship or consenting to anything, is what you're asking?" Corey jumps in to help him out.

"Last time I brought it up you said no." Zeke shrugs.

"Last time, you asked if I thought you should have a relationship with Tyler, and I don't. That being said it's not for a lack of his ability to make those decisions for himself. I am much less concerned about his mental health as I am yours." Corey's turn to throw Zeke off with an unexpected response.

"Mine?"

"Zeke. You do this. You find someone, you get attached and you get caught up in it and forget that this job doesn't allow for relationships. I understand you never had a chance to date outside of this because of how young you were, you were robbed of those years of your life when you ended up in this lifestyle, but you are continually trying to make someone fill that part of your heart and you ignore the reality that it will not be that simple. You know that Tyler isn't staying here when he returns, you know what that means will happen to him. You cannot afford to get attached to him." Corey states with a genuinely apologetic tone, he felt for Zeke, he knew he couldn't just turn off his emotions no matter how hard he tried. In all the years Corey had known him, he'd seen time and time again, the way feelings truly controlled Zeke. The anger, the sadness, the ache for a victory and of course, this long running emptiness that came with every attempt at a relationship along the way. Zeke wanted to have it all, and resented the idea that he couldn't have love while he's living this life, because he'd never chosen to live this life.

"I know. It's stupid." Zeke shakes his head and looks down at his hands. As he's considering what Tyler had revealed about the type of person he tends to fall for, Zeke finds himself realizing that he too had a type. Like Corey had said, it was always someone he shouldn't be with. He'd had plenty of short relationships through his teen years, messing around dangerously with people who he met while working. None of them were people he felt emotionally attached to, not until he was sent after Wyatt. Even him he hadn't intended on becoming that serious with. He hadn't wanted to play someone that was innocent, he had just ended up thinking if he didn't let the 'relationship' progress it would appear suspicious, then once the line was crossed it was easy to forget why and before he knew it he was acting like a real boyfriend and his feelings had been getting lost as the acting and the reality started to merge into each other. Then there's Tyler. Of course it wasn't right, of course it wasn't appropriate. But Corey was right, this was what he did, this is who he was drawn to. Someone that appeared to need him, someone he could give a sense of comfort to. He loved that power, he loved being needed. Maybe if his own life hadn't gone the way it had, he wouldn't be so messed up that he needed to feel like he had all the power and the other person was weak compared to him. He had been powerless, he had lost people he loved and he'd been unable to stop the pain they went through. That was the hole in his heart, that's what he was forcing people into. Make them need him, make them love him, then distance himself just to feel like he has control over who he will let close enough to hurt him that way again. His heart wanted to love and be loved, but his brain wanted control. There was something thrilling about walking the tightrope between both.

"It's not stupid. But, Zeke come on, you are so close. So, so close to the answer you want. You cannot afford to get distracted now and I know if you start indulging this fantasy of a relationship with him, you're not going to be able to do the right thing when you have to. Regardless of everything I've said though, you know I'm here for you and no matter what you decide is right for you, I will be here to support you through it." Corey tells him with a friendly smile.

"I don't know. I feel like it's more confusing every time I think about it." Zeke groans.

"Should just develop feelings for people you're not meant to either be leading to death or protecting from death. I think that's where you go wrong. If you could just fall in love with someone with a totally normal job, like, I don't know, a barista? No ties to dangerous people, not under any threat other than from shitty customers. Imagine. Imagine how simple that would be." Corey suggests jokingly.

"Mm, problem is, I don't get to meet simple people and the people I do meet, become 'tied to dangerous people' the moment they know me by my name so I'm really restricted." Zeke replies.

"G should hire strictly asexual staff. Make everyone's lives easier." Corey sighs.

"I thought you were just a sociopath." Zeke states.

"Bold of you to psychoanalyze your own therapist. You should probably get some rest." Corey suggests with a laugh.

"I wish, G's just paged me." Zeke replies, getting up from his seat and heading to the door without another word to Corey. He was not even sure he wanted to speak to G again, but he had no chance of sleeping while Tyler was still out there in danger. G’s knuckles were red from taking his anger out in the gym. He looked like he wasn’t done being furious just yet either, though as Zeke walks in, G is sitting down and sipping at a coffee, trying to relax himself again.

“Take a seat.” G orders and he’s lucky that Zeke has any respect for him at all left, and does as he’s told. “Obviously this is not what we were expecting to happen. For that, I am very sorry.” G begins.

“You’ve got 3 incompetent agents out there being re-trained and Tyler is out in the middle of nowhere in danger. You don’t need to remind me how fucking unexpected this result was. I want to know what your plan is to find him and it better be a good one because if you don’t come through with a decent way to resolve this catastrophic fuck up then I will go out there and tear the world apart to find him. Is that clear?” Zeke demands sternly.

“That’s fine, because my plan was to send you out anyway. I don’t think he’ll trust anyone else so you’re the best chance we have of finding Tyler and bringing him back. And I want to make it clear, that I want Tyler back here. He needs to be debriefed, he needs to be counselled and he needs to have his memories wiped so he can be sent to the safe house. It’s time Zeke, because Tyler is a danger to everyone. We’re going to clean up the mess that bringing him here has made, and we’re going to send him to the safe house. Understood?” If G had said this under any other circumstances, Zeke would have tried to argue, but right now he wanted Tyler as far away from this as possible, because G was right, with his risky behaviour and unpredictability, Tyler was a danger to have around. He had proved himself to be more capable than anyone had expected, which made him more of a liability. It wouldn’t take much for him to accidentally cause much more damage than he already had.

“You have to tell him about the plan though. He deserves to know what’s happened.” Zeke states. He wanted Tyler to know how well he’d faced this and what it had done to the agents here. That he had well and truly proven himself and that he was being sent away because he was too good.

“You bring him back and I’ll deal with the rest. You better get going.” G waves Zeke out of the room. Zeke was thankful as ever to be out of there, back to his own room to get ready. He has a shower, going over what he would say to Tyler when he found him and hoping that he would at least get the chance to say it all before it was too late.