Makarovia! Yes, I Know Where That is! Sophomore Year - 96. The Flat Earthers: Part One

The Flat Earthers

Part One

I nodded, “He doesn’t support having a king?”

Peter nodded, “Not just that. He and his father…” he thought how to say whatever, “the entire Orban family were not happy with what was done in Makarovia. His father, grandfather, brothers, and sisters…”

“That’s not a good trait to pass down in families,” I muttered.

“Olek told me they have always been…” she said a word I didn’t know. I using English, Ukrainian, Makarovian, and Russian. I was even getting more comfortable with Italian and Greek. I understood the pronunciation of this word was hard and glutaral, it was German, but I had no idea what she said.

Peter, however, looked at her a little surprised as an eyebrow rose, “That’s a good word for them.”

“What word?” I asked.

“Rührer der Scheiße,” Peter said slower and turned to Helga. “Isn’t that what you said?”

It sounded shorter and faster from Helga when she said whatever. I spoke almost no German. What did I know?

Helga smiled looking guilty, “That’s close enough.”

My arms went out in futility, “Which means what??” I asked.

“It’s a person that stirs up shit,” Helga confessed with a short laugh.

I nodded and was smiling, “Okay.” A beautiful woman going to become a Queen that can cuss? I loved the contrast. I just hoped she’d stay in control with our niece or nephew. I raised my hand and used my fingers in the “give me more” motion. “I need to hear just a little more to see if what I’ve got so far is the correct impression about what you said.”

“It means,” Helga said patiently. “There are some people out there that are unhappy with everything in their lives and they complain all the time and find fault. They never have anything positive to say and are only happy when they make others unhappy.”

I nodded and grinned, “And there we go. I’m with you now.”

Peter nodded, “Well, take whatever you think and give it to the tenth power.” He waved at the closed door. “The Orban family are just sad and miserable. From Klaus to his great-grandfather, all they do is make everyone miserable.”

“I totally get that,” I said. “There are people that are not comfortable in a no-conflict situation. If there is no conflict, they create one to be in their comfort zone.” I shrugged, “They are quick to lay blame and offer few solutions?”

Peter nodded, “That’s right. It is our fault and we need to fix it.”

“But nothing particular?”

Peter sighed and shrugged a nod, “Everything that wrong, yes.”

I shrugged again, “This time, it is Olek’s fault. The sudden change toward sudden prosperity is definitely his fault. Queen Alla and you too, Peter.”

He did it again and started to shake his head and was starting to say, “No, it was…”

“I will remind you,” I pulled him closer. “I don’t want to hear from that Peter again. It was you that won a lot of people over to our side. The fact that people in the world know about Makarovia is all your fault. There are millions of signatures to prove they want us to represent them. How many supporters does this Orban guy have to show support of him?” I looked at Helga, “Did Mr. Orban guy say what he wanted to speak to Olek about?”

“Olek told me Klaus was responding to the press conference,” Helga muttered nearly pressing her ear to the door. She looked at Peter angrily. “This is the only quiet fight I’ve ever heard of! No yelling? No breaking glass…”

Peter chuckled, “Peter learned it from Dad who I’m sure learned it from Granddad. To make sure the other is paying attention and listening, you speak lower.”

Helga let out a quiet snort, “Is THAT where he gets it?” She shook her head, “I hate it when he does it in our…” she smiled and said, “discussions. He always does it to me. He’s never raised his voice to me.”

Okay, that was revealing, but I let it go. For now.

“There was a question as to why Tysa should be included with Makarovia,” Peter said. “They are so close to the border of two other countries...when we were part of Romania and Ukraine they were included as part of us. The Soviets just included them with us. We were all three poor, but when the USSR dissolved they hoped wanted to go back to Romania. Hungary couldn’t support them and neither could Romania.”

“And not attached to Ukraine,” I frowned.

“But it wasn’t Tysa that wanted it,” Peter explained. “It was the Orbans and they were the most vocal.” He snorted and gave a grudging nod. “They did marry and had other family members in Tysa, but not quite enough.” He chuckled. “When the citizens of Tysa heard what the cost would be in tax increases, they said, no way.”

“Disloyalty has a cost,” I nodded. “What do they have against a monarchy? Makarovia isn’t that big. Great Britain is bigger. It still works.”

Peter nodded, “But King William can’t just declare war on someone and have it happen,” Peter argued. “There are Ministers for everything. King William doesn’t have absolute power.”

“Olek doesn’t use absolute power!” I defended.

Peter nodded, “He doesn’t use it, but he CAN use it. I remind you of Penelope again.”

Helga looked worried and seriously concerned, “Would Olek have done it? Would he have executed her?”

“I’m not sure that matters,” I said. “He didn’t do it, but he could have if he wanted to and he really wouldn’t have been answerable to anyone. Not to Makarovia, not to the UK and not the United States.”

Peter touched Helga gently, “Be thankful you’ve never heard him raise his voice.” He shuddered. “It’s not something you’d easily forget.”

I nodded, “He was…” I had to think, “bone-chillingly scary. It wasn’t Olek.”

Peter grudged a nod again, “I can’t see King William doing that.” He laughed a little harder at what he couldn’t believe, “I couldn’t have imagined Olek doing it until he did.”

“There are only a few monarchs with absolute power now,” Helga said. “The only one in all of Europe that still has it on standby is Makarovia.”

“Saudi Arabia, Qatar, Swaziland, and…” Peter paused to remember, “I know it.” He muttered in frustration, “Oman?” He asked us.

“Is that an answer?” I asked, “It sounds more like a question.” I grinned as Peter looked irritated.

“Do you know the answer?” Peter demanded.

“Yes,” I nodded, “I do.” I bounced once. “You are right. Oman is one and Brunei.” I smiled. “There are ten other kingdoms in Europe that have kings and queens thereby birth.”

Peter nodded again, “And you know them.” It was a statement, no question asked.

“Yep,” I answered. “I can name all of seven dwarves and all of Santa’s reindeer.” There was that look again. “Memorization of items on a list isn’t hard. I use a Mnemonic Device with almost everything.”

“A what?” Peter asked.

If I had used the English word or even the Makarovian, Ukrainian, or even Russian version of the word it would be the same word with only the slightest pronunciation deviation we got from the Greeks. Latin covered a lot of science terms. Sort of. This word was about memory. I repeated the word and even spelled it. “We use mnemonic devices for everyone about many things; such as learning the alphabet to the amounts on the currency,” I said. “We do it in songs, phrases, or names or words to help us remember things. Acronyms!”

Helga nodded, “I did it with the Periodic Table of elements.” She chuckled. “I had to.”

“Sure you did! There are so many!” I leaned closer Peter like I was confiding in them. “Chemistry is too much like math. Like math, I had to learn it for medical training. I hate them both pretty much the same.”

Helga laughed lightly and Peter grinned.

“Some are remembered without me having to try,” I said. “Like element symbol for gold. I was watching a rerun of the Facts of Life.” They didn’t show any recognition. The show was shot in the United States and in English. “You remember, Blair, Jo, Natalie, Tootie…” I said waiting for the lightbulb to come on in their eyes, “Eastland Boarding School? Peekskill, New York? At the beginning of the nineteen-eighties? Mrs. Garrett?”

Helga brightened hearing the name of Mrs. Garrett or maybe all I gave her kicked her memory. “Oh, yes. I remember now. It came to France and Great Britain.” She thought a moment. “I don’t know if they got it in Germany. I occasionally saw reruns of it in the United States while I was in school there.”

“Great!” I said a little relieved, “I went through all this to tell you Natalie was cramming for her Chemistry Test and Tootie told her to use a mnemonic device.”

Peter frowned, “She said that?”

“No,” I said a little exasperated, “of course not, but it is one. The example used was a gold watch…”

“How would that…” Peter interrupted sounding annoyed.

I raised my hand and held a finger up in front of his face, “Either let me finish or die in ignorance never having known what it was,” I growled. “It’s your choice.” I waited and he didn’t even grunt, but just listened. “Tootie said, if someone steals the watch, you say,” I switched to English, “A u, bring back my watch!” I shrugged and went back to Makarovian, “It works, that element I remember without trying.”

Helga was now really laughing having touch us both, but it was to keep standing up. She got it. The levity wasn’t what I said, but what we said to each other. Peter’s face was unmoved at all. You did need a grasp of English to understand. I spoke in Makarovian explaining it, switched to English to say the line, but you had to know the English language, alphabet, and the element table to get the humor. “The periodic element Au is substituting “hey, you” in the sentence?” He was a statue. “It wasn’t even slightly funny?” I asked him.

Peter did the arms across his chest with a sigh of resolve and rested his left-hand fingers tapped his chin a moment as he considered it, “I have just one thing to say…” he switched to English and said, “Gotcha!” His pronunciation of that word was flawless. No one would guess he wasn’t from the West! He was as American as Apple Pie! His face was the happy Peter I knew. “Now who’s being the straight man?”

He had me fooled the whole time! I know my left eye narrowed, “Why you…”

“Before you say anything,” Peter grinned pulling me closer to him. “No name-calling that will reflect badly on Mom.”

“So, I won’t call you a son-of-a-bitch,” I couldn’t help but grin. “I’ve got three languages to pull from and there are a plethora of words and phrases in Russian! There are over two hundred! I have no doubt one will fit just fine.”

Peter laughed, “Russians love to swear.”

“Okay,” I said. “They didn’t want to live in a monarchy. How were they under Soviet control? The Ivanovs wasn’t responsible for any of that. If anything, they endured in spite of them. The ruling family in St. Petersburg didn’t do as well.”

“We were guilty of allowing that to happen, too,” Peter said.

“That’s ridiculous!!” I blurted louder than I intended to and was shushed by Helga and pulled farther from the door by Peter.

There had to be some major psychological issues at play here. “How many Makarovians were here in from 1900 until 1917?” It was a question I already knew the answer to. “Even if all of Makarovia stood with the Ivanovs, they couldn’t stop the Bolsheviks! That would have been stupid and suicide!”

“Yes, well…” Peter began.

“Makarovians are not stupid,” I said firmly and waved at Peter. “Certainly not the Russian imports. If anything the Ivanovs kept Makarovia together from behind the Soviets and kept the Makarovian Pride going.”

Peter nodded, “It doesn’t make sense. They hoped we’d do like the other countries and elect a leader.”

“From where!?” I asked in a near hiss so I wouldn’t be overheard. “Now, I know without even thinking about it there are Makarovians who make good leaders,” I paused, “Oh, wait, they ARE as governors and mayors! I will put many, many Makarovians against anyone that are pillars of the community for other countries and that includes the United States!” I folded my arms over my chest. “Mr. Orban thought a better leader could be found by a person elected?”

“I don’t know,” Peter shrugged.

“And he would run for election?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” Peter confessed. “That was never offered.”

I shook my head. “It sounds to me as if this family of Orbans were and are just seeking someone to blame and the Ivanovs is the ones to blame.”

We all were a little startled by the sound of Olek’s office door opening. Everyone knows if you try to look innocent you look even more guilty? No one would believe the three of us “just happened” to come to Olek’s office door. This Orban guy couldn’t be that gullible or dense. Neither were we. Klaus Orban would know that we knew why he was here. King Olek would share what Klaus wanted with Olek and Makarovia. So, why would I even try to convince this man I hadn’t tried to find out what was going on. I wasn’t unbias and was told he was a bad guy. It would be no surprise to him he had a reputation that he earned and I had been informed about it. Meeting him would just add to that.

The end of whatever this had been was different. Even a meeting with an adversary was normally cordial even if it wasn’t friendly. The door opened and a man with dark hair at least on the sides and back of his skull had only a little gray. The hair on the top of his head was thinning, but not completely gone. You could see some skull there, but not the thick spread of youth. I could tell you he was ugly, but he was. Granted, the Orban’s had an ugliness in their soul and that would show in his appearance. He was in his late forties or his early fifties. I will also say that just being a common man and not having the contact the Invanovs did. The choicest Human Beings were not as plentiful. Meaning they didn’t have access to the choicest DNA. For hundreds of years...maybe a thousand or more, kings and queens did have the selection. Mom was a former model and heading toward supermodel when she met Olek the First. She was more than just physically gorgeous. She was very intelligent! Other than that acne, Peter was also gorgeous and very intelligent. Olek the Second’s mother was pretty and smart. Olek got that from both of his parents. I could go down the ancestry of the Ivanov family and say the same thing. The Orbans took what they could get as did most people in the world. That and events in life gave you a personality that will attract certain kinds of people.

Again, this isn’t a rabbit I have, but an explanation. There are very few people I will say are truly ugly. Being gay, I see the beauty in many Human males. More advice from the Theodore and Katrina Box of Wisdom: Beware of people with hard faces. Klaus Orban had a hard face. His face showed he had a hard life and was bitter deep in his soul. I felt sorry for the man. Yes, I did! Who was responsible for that hard life? His mother and father? Grandparents? Was he brought up this way and they just didn’t know any other way was possible?

Through the open door, the man walked out and saw the three of us. He bowed and said, “Your Highness,” and was gone. No goodbye to Olek did we hear and Olek hadn’t escorted Mr. Orban to the door. Manners and decorum just were. There were things you did that were tradition where it was a kind of law. Helga and I were married to members of the royal family. Peter was born the prince he is today. Helga was married to a king! Technically, she was a Queen now! Peter said I knew almost all of the rules. It wasn’t fair, but a woman that marries a king has the title of Queen. A king always outranks her. There are two kinds of Queens. Sorry, if you know all this already. A Queen Consort and a Queen Regent. At this moment, Helga was Queen Consort. Even after the year of the proposal, she will still be a Queen Consort, but also recognition of the status from Makarovians. If Peter became King (God forbid) my status wouldn’t really change. I would still be a Prince Consort being married to Peter.

Queen Alla is the only one to marry, became Queen Consort, and then became Queen Regent when King Olek the First died. She ruled! When Olek the Second took the throne, she is also unique as a King’s widow who was now a Dowager Queen, but still partially ruling! She was recognized as Queen by Makarovia!

In case you didn’t know this already, Makarovia is very different than other countries. I touch my wedding band on my left hand. Yeah, we were a bit odd here.

Helga went into Olek’s office as he stared at a large monitor on the wall behind him that showed some nature scenes in Makarovia. Olek’s office was nicely furnished but hardly opulent. It had those little windows so no one could squeeze through. It was on the same level as the great area where people gathered before an event. He had two computer monitor screens.

The monitor on the wall behind him was a good monitor. High Definition images where at the moment show a meadow of green and alive with the many colors of wildflowers. Green grass, the colors of yellow, white, pink, and purple scattered in that green. I don’t know how or who put this file on the computer, but it was so detailed and just...relaxing. Calming. The mountains were in the background. The sound of the wind could be heard as the grass and flowers swayed in the breeze. I couldn’t have planned it better! There was the buzzing sound of a bee was heard and then you saw her land on a flower, move around on it, and flew to another flower not seen. It was beautiful.

Olek didn’t look at us, but said, “Do remember this meadow, Peter?”

Peter looked at the screen and squinted his eyes, which wasn’t necessary to see the high definition couldn’t be seen better. “I think so,” he said studying the picture. “That’s right near Rsys Lake, isn’t it?”

Olek nodded, “It is.” He sighed and turned around to face us.

I smiled, “It’s very pretty.”

Helga walked around Olek’s desk standing behind to him. “Are you alright, Asshiq?” She put her hands on his shoulders from behind him near his neck.

I would make sure I was told what she called him meant.

Olek took her left hand and kissed it, “Yes.” He was not very convincing. “It is always so difficult dealing with that family.”

“What is the problem now?” Peter asked.

“We are embarrassing Makarovia,” Olek said. “Everyone in this office is an embarrassment to Makarovia.”

“We are,” I asked for him to confirm.

Olek was nodding, “Showing how morally depraved we are.”

“Depraved?” I frowned. “That’s the word he used?”

Olek nodded, “He used perverse, too.”

It was important to know what word was used. In Makarovian the word for perverse is zbochenyy. The word for depraved is rozbeshchenyy. I can give the Cyrillic spelling, too. The word choices were interesting and primarily used by the clergy.

“Olek,” I began as I pondered, “You record your negotiations, right?”

Olek looked surprised, “I sort of have to.” He shrugged, “If someone claims I said or promised something, I have a record of what was and is said. I have a good memory and normally remember what is said, but...”

I smiled at that, “You recorded your meeting with Klaus Orban just now.” My words were more of statement than an inquiry.

“Sure,” Olek nodded. “It’s something Dad and Grandpa did and taught me to do to keep track of things.”

“Wise men,” I said admirably. “Have you ever used them?”

“I use them all the time,” Olek said.

He wasn’t getting the question, “Don’t be obtuse.” I grinned. “Have you ever let anyone else hear the recordings? Yuri, for example.”

“But Olek doesn’t use the recordings for anything but remind himself what was said,” Peter said. “I know there was an issue with recordings in Washington in the seventies.”

“There was,” I nodded. “This is a totally different situation. The how, why and motivation are…” I sought a word, but said, “different.”

Like the majority of Makarovians, Olek just didn’t deceive! Presenting anything in a dishonest manner was inconceivable to him. He knew people they were well-practiced at telling lies, but he had it drilled into him to be absolutely honest as a king. Peter was the same way. My love of that man just grew the more I heard about Olek the First. That was why he and Helga had married like they did and Olek wanted to be sure he told the truth. There were no other ways to be. I loved Olek the First and I had never met him. I loved his son which is no surprise to you, is it? I could not understand how everyone didn’t love them. Being a member of a royal house was no assurance of any good character. Nobility wasn’t something you were born with. These two Ivanov men were noble because of what they did. Yuri and Boris had it, too. All of our security agents had it. Queen Alla and Helga...noble! Mario! He was very noble.

“The reason you do it,” I said to Olek, “Is to keep an accounting of promises. A kind of contract to ensure promises are kept. Not just you, but everyone that promises something to you and doesn’t...” I shrugged, “Well…” I turned to Peter. “You said Klaus Orban was a major one.” I turned to Olek. “How many other unhappy people are there in Makarovia?”

Olek thought a moment, “Perhaps seventy-five families.”

“Yes,” Peter nodded, “but Olek the others disagreed with you about letting the foreign powers in to help. Some are not liking the sudden changes in Makarovia,” Peter argued, “but they aren’t against the Crown.”

I bit my own cheek as I thought. “We aren’t talking about people that don’t agree with a decision you make.” I said as I paced a little. “Everyone is not going to agree with everything. Is he a devout Orthodox Christian of any Church? A zealot?”

Olek thought again. “There are really only two churches in Tysa. Eastern and Russian Orthodox.” He thought a little. “I know other groups are there, but those are the largest two.”

I chuckled, “Russian Orthodox? Eastern Orthodox I get, but Russian?”

Olek shrugged and smiled, “There are a lot of Russians in Makarovia.”

Queen Alla was Russian, I had a few Russians on Grandma’s side of the family, Boris, Yuri...I nodded, “I can understand that. You let just one in and soon you’re drowning in Russian vodka. They brought that denomination with them. I have a fondness for Russians.” I gave a shrug and nod, “Was the Church the platform for the disapproval?”

“In the past, yes,” Olek admitted. “His family wasn’t morally superior and that was proven.”

“They were Human,” I said in amazement. “Who could have guessed that was even possible?” (Just in case someone out there doesn’t know by now. That was extremely sarcastic.) I leaned toward Olek, “They have never threatened you, have they?”

“No.”

“They blame all the bad events on you,” I said to Olek.

“Yes.”

“They’re quick to blame AFTER whatever happens,” I clarified. “Telling you what you should have done AFTER it happens.”

“Yes.”

“It’s always wonderful how sharp vision becomes when looking back,” I said. “They’ve never come to you BEFORE to give you the advice. Did he ever offer help?”

“No.”

“If I may,” I began, “I’d like to hear the recording and any other recordings by this family to the Orbans.”

“Sure,” Olek began typing on the keyboard and looked at what he saw on the screen. “I’ll send the file to your email address.”

“A person needs to be accountable for what they do and say,” I said. “If all they do is point out what is wrong and offer no idea how to make it better...they are like,” I thought quickly, “infants born with Miserable Baby Syndrome.”

“Babies born with what?” Peter asked and Helga said practically at the same time, “I’ve never heard of that.” Helga touched her own midsection to protect her child. She probably wasn’t even aware she was doing it.

I gave a smirking smile. “It’s a diagnosis Doctor Donkervoet came up with.” I chuckled with a light laugh, “You won’t find in any DSM, the Diagnosis and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders or the Psychiatric Disorders in Children and Adolescents.” I smiled at them. “Babies can’t tell us what they think or feel. After eliminating all possible physical problems such as gas or any other possible reason a child might be difficult to soothe a baby; there’s no sudden loud noises, not too cold or too hot, but the baby won’t stop crying...he theorized there are a small number of babies that just can’t turn everything off as they normally do and can sleep through all sorts of things from the vacuum to the television going full blast.” I waved at the door that Klaus had left through. “That’s him all grown up! Placing blame instead of helping to find a solution is so much easier. I say it’s treason!”

Olek laughed and shook his head, “I can’t charge him for disagreeing with me.”

I grunted, “I suppose not,” I sighed. “He has the right to be as wrong as he wants to be.” I shook my head, “If we take a man up, circle the entire planet and he still insists the world is flat, that’s stupid!” I pointed at the door. “He’s stupid!”