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    R. Eric
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Makarovia! Yes, I Know Where That is! Sophomore Year - 99. Past Shapes the Future: Pt 2

I took you from New England, to Makarovia, to 1938 Europe and now back to High School.  I'm tired.  :sleep:

Past Shapes The Future Pt 2

 

We left Olek’s office where Peter told me again who I was, listened to Klaus Ordan’s words, bullies came up to bully and I refused. Okay, I follow that. Chuck, a junior, was...a first...many things for me. I'm also confident in saying I was his first anything man to man. I knew he'd been with Jackie and he'd kissed her a lot. Bitch. He was supposed to. Damn it. I doubt he ever kissed another guy other than me and he never kissed me as he did her. He had feelings with me. I did really love him and still did and I always will. I refused to accept that. When he told me he was going to the Citadel, a high-level military college formed in the mid-nineteenth century, 1840...something. Before the War of Northern Aggression. (The Civil War?) Those in the North said we couldn't do things anymore and we asked how come? You know many died as a result. But every Southern Gentleman prayed they could get a diploma from there. It was almost two centuries old! After that was done, Chuck's life would be smooth-sailing. If he endured Hell Night. Yes, that's what it was unofficially called. If you ask anyone from the Citadel you knew well enough to ask, it was a night all new recruits, (called Knobs because of the shaved head) and everyone) had to go through it. Technically, it was part of the Knob Knowledge period which lasted a week. Any upperclassmen could stop any Knob at any time that week and demand an answer to any question about the Citadel. And you better know the answer. Never guess. They know when you do. Yeah, I know this has nothing really to do with anything in Makarovia, but knowledge is good! But in a way, it did have a lot to do with me, and therefore Peter, and Makarovia.

So? You ask. What’s wrong with that?

Nothing, really, but Hell Night is different because of the extreme nature of it. It was and still is the worst case of hazing you ever even heard of. This was more than just hard physically. In the recent past, women were not allowed to go to the Citadel. They humiliated you and did questionable things to members of the male gender. It wasn't loving and though it may be sexual, it was barely sex!

I'm not done! Did they have to? I didn't like what they did, but I can say every man that goes through the Citadel learned to act like a Citadel graduate.

They often had guys "wash out" during that week and many right after that night. Learning to make beds and polish brass and medals were easy. Yet, Chuck willingly went through this week and night rather than coming out? There were almost no homeless people who wore a Citadel Ring they earned unless there was a mental illness involved or drugs. Even if there was one of those reasons, they were usually a higher...class of Alcoholic or Junkie? It's on the Internet. Look it up! Just watch out for the ex-Knobs. You know, those that didn't make the cut.

I simply know I'd never make it. I was not going to the Citadel. I am proud to boast that I have too much of Katrina and Theodor Sams in me.

Chuck was doing this at the end of the next year, I knew it was ending and even when. This sounds odd, but I wished him all the happiness. Really! I also prayed that our paths just would not cross again. Understand what I mean. He was...my Sergi. Grandma had hers and didn't want to see him or have her memories ruined because of it. Remember? The pregnancy scare she had with him in the past that she admitted to last year?

The past is important. It shaped how we would react in the future. As bad as they were, the bully played a part in our lives. It taught us how to deal with conflict. My way was to confront right away. I'm pretty sure that came from Grandpa. He would always look at the list of jobs and did the hardest and more difficult job he did first; to get it done!

"Then everything after that will be a piece of cake!" He not only told me why he did it that way. He modeled life for me. I loved my father. Never doubt that, but I was young so when I started to become an adult, Grandpa was my Dad.

His cancer hit hard and fast. Pancreatic Cancer was just so fast. With Grandpa, it happened in two months. He finds out, he starts treatment and just dies. Quick and as painless as they could make it. Grandma was a bear! Those people at the hospital didn’t want to overdose him with the strong narcotics.

Grandma took her cellphone out. She was the one I got a lot of things from. She started recording.

"Tell me again," she demanded, pointing at the young doctor, "You want to cap the amount of medicine because he could overdose!? He'll die anyway!" She began approaching the man. "Tell me there is even the slightest chance he can recover." He didn't want to answer. "TELL ME!!" Grandma could be terrifying.

“There’s...,” the doctor stammered, “you can’t give up.” He said weakly. “We can’t euthanize.”

Grandma nodded, “That’s why you instructed me to call Hospice.”

We all know the word "Hospice" and its meaning. They were who you called when there was no hope left. The person they cared for was going to die. Period.

I had trouble with them, too. No, they weren't the cause of anyone's death. They provided care for people to live a better life with whatever time they had left. I struggled with that distinction.

"You hear me, young man," Grandma loomed. "Maybe after the ink finally dries on your diploma, you'll stop seeing these people as more than the illnesses and see the person you are treating." She pointed to Grandpa. "There is the kindest, loving man I have ever known. He deserves better. He will not suffer one single minute if he doesn't have to." She threw her hands out. "In Ukraine when a patient reaches this level, they talk about medications used to stop the pain." Tears were coming unchecked by Grandma. "I don't want him to die. Not ever, but he will. He will not live with any pain but die with dignity. Am I clear?"

My mother and I were there and saw and heard it all.

I got a lot from those people. Confronting this bully was one. Sending the recorded meeting was another.

Nothing is really unrelated to this here. Everything and everyone made us who we are. Even Ronnie. Chuck did, but this was also when I met Daniel, my first real love. We were the same age and shared some classes, but he was not one of us. No, he was a damned Yankee! Complete with the accent. We didn’t have one. Yes, he was one of them! That just made me like him more. You know me. That forbidden quality just made me like him more. My friendship with those in that inner circle caused Daniel not to be as friendly as he could be at first. He and I spoke in the classes we shared, but when lunch came and the table I sat at had these large guys or their pretty girlfriends with me, he passed me off. Often. That was because of Chuck's presence.

Mom did survive longer than expected her to. I never broke up with Chuck. He just faded into the background. What he and I felt wasn't considered. Honestly, there wasn't much to break up. We rarely saw each other on the weekends or holidays. It was my only experience with a double life. I determined at that moment to be honest about anything and most definitely, about my life. I wasn't at the swearing marches and protests, but...my fear was the reaction of others if I did. Would Jackie have her initial suspicions confirmed? Her boyfriend was gay. Gasp! Or at least bisexual? What did that say about her? She wasn't woman enough for him? No, she wasn't male enough for him or honest or sincere...during the summer break, I worked. The Tomato Sheds. For those with little Southern agricultural knowledge, the South boasted many farms. Many farms! Tomatoes was one of the biggest cash crops. Limehouse Farms was one of the biggest farms for tomatoes! A student who wanted to earn more money, way more than you could flipping burgers could really make good money at the sheds. It was tiring, hot, and dirty work. You either took tomatoes from the plants in the field, sorted what was brought in to get rid of the ones birds or insects had gotten to, wash, and then packaged them for grocery stores all over! From sunup until sundown, it was all about tomatoes. I sorted and packaged. Apparently, you needed certain skills to package. Sealing tomatoes with that clear plastic wrap, without bruising the tomatoes required that. And you did it quickly. I don’t know how many thousands of tomatoes I went through in a day. There were about twelve Limehouse Farms and covered thousands of acers.

Occasionally, you make friends doing it. That was my Yankee-Italian friend who quickly set me straight about the whole Yankee versus Rebel thing. His family was still in Italy during the Civil War. They arrived through Ellis Island in the Twentieth Century! Whatever. Toe MATE toe, To ma toe...I wasn't going to quibble. People found out I spoke Russian and Ukrainian I was labeled a Red. He was a Yankee.

Tony and I even carpooled! What I got from Tony, I didn’t get with Chuck. The freedom to be friends.

Tony and I weren't holding hands in the corridors, or kissing on school grounds...well, that's not exactly true. My high school became the only high school on James Island and the school boasted every high school student that lived on the island. Our student body was in the thousands. Unless you were homeschooled or went to a private school, you went here.

Keeping a reign on these rabbits is hard work! My point was, there were places to go if you knew where to go. The band room or chorus room that had private smaller rooms a section from the choir could work and were seldom used. When the new year started, Chuck and I just slowed to a stop. The one conversation we had at any length sort of finished us off.

It was right before my lunch period as I put my books in my locker. I felt him before I saw or heard him.

“Can we talk?”

I felt this cold weight in the pit of my stomach, but I just closed my locker. “Sure.” I could feel what was coming but tried to school my face from any emotion.

Chuck looked at the students in the hall and grimaced, “In private?”

Why was it at lunchtime? I was hungry! “Mrs. Cauthen doesn’t have a class now. She doesn’t normally lock her class.”

We still had to be careful. The school had video surveillance cameras, not in the private areas like the locker room or bathroom (right), but in the command high traffic areas. We suspected there were more eyes than we knew about. We all saw security in that booth watching those little monitors showed who came in and out of the many entrances. You also had to know us; the students.

We knew the camera had a blind spot. The far back corner had a cabinet in the way of the camera that showed the room but didn't see there. It was a typical classroom for science with the waist-high desks covered with black and little silver nozzles where you could light to heat whatever chemical under beakers. No chemicals were out now.

He stopped in that blind spot. “We haven’t really seen each other these past few weeks.”

I shrugged, “I haven’t gone anywhere.” I meant for it to be...less angry than it sounded. I wasn’t really angry. “Sorry.”

Chuck shrugged, “What else can we do?”

I looked at him and asked, “It’s becoming legal around the world and is in all of the United States now and will be all over.” I said, “The bottom line is; will we ever become a couple?”

Chuck opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out.

I nodded after a moment or two and said slowly, “That’s what I thought.”

“What do you want?” Chuck asked.

"You!" I said instantly and simply with no need to guess. "I want you, damn it!" I sighed, knowing to stay put or risk being seen by security.

“You have more than anyone!” Chuck argued loud. Now, I could see some of that game aggression in his blue eyes. “You know that!”

"But not all of you!" I shot back just as loud and I held my hands up, stopping him. "I realize this is risky behavior. Someone could find out we slipped in here together and guess what we're doing and know why! We can’t be seen doing that.” I said. “Why is it important?”

He was flustered because I was making him say what we were doing.

“The magic about a conversation is there are two inputs,” I said. “I’m begging you to interrupt me if I go anywhere other than the path we’re on!” I pleaded with him. “I’ll tell you. I love you, Chuck.”

He wanted to say something, but again, he couldn’t.

“You think we shouldn’t be doing what we’re doing,” I said, “Don’t you? If you don’t say it, you aren’t gay.” I laughed at the pointless words I spoke. “News flash. You are! Here’s what else for you to chew on. Gays have ALWAYS been!” I waved off in the air. “As far back as Alexander the Great or Julius Caesar,” I saw his eyebrows rise when I said Caesar. "He was, too. He had an affair with King Nicomedes of Bithynia? It's documented! Everybody knows about Alexander. Up to Baron Friedrich Steuben who knew George Washington and served with him!" I shook my head. That wasn't fair, this wasn't covered in most American History classes. "Fred was a Prussian military man hired by President Washington...KNOWING Fred was a fag!" I turned to Chuck more, "And where does that pride come into this? Huh?" Yes, I got rabbits even then. "I sure as Hell didn't do anything to be proud of, but I've done nothing to be ashamed of either."

Chuck was frustrating! "Say something! Anything!"

“I…” He began hesitantly, “don’t know.”

“Yes,” I nodded my head. “You do. You believe it’s wrong!”

“Isn’t it?”

"No!" I said instantly. "We are a part of a complex world! We understand almost nothing dealing with Human Beings. What we do know, fits in the shortest time of life. Not even a fraction of the time of life on the planet. There is more than just black and white, on and off, right and wrong!" My head turned a little bit looking at him. "Can you even say it? Out loud? What are we doing? What are we? You and I are what?" I asked. "Tell me at the very least!"

The other part in play here was another set of unwritten rules but known by everyone. (There are just so many!) My mother and father weren’t part of this group, and wouldn't have even tried. Chuck grew up in Fort Johnson Estates. Yeah, I know. You don't automatically get the significance. I will also add the Country Club and not a single lot was less than a couple of acres of perfectly landscaped yards were maintained. Seldom was it taken care of by the people residing in those houses. The only person in the neighborhood responsible for lawns owned a company that did that.

He had employees that did that as teams of people. He was one of the few blue-collar workers that lived in that neighborhood. The rest were all doctors, scientists, lawyers, judges, architects, and all those big ink occupations that required a comprehension reading level over the third or fourth grade. You might be surprised at which level most newspapers were usually written.

Here’s another rabbit, a teacher when I was in seventh grade announced “open reading.” Yes, I’ll explain. She didn’t care what we read, we had a selection of topics and books. Magazines, if you submitted the article with it. I loved Ms. Daniels! (You know what I mean.) Patrick, a future geek in the community or mega-rich entrepreneur because of forward-thinking handed in his paper based on a series of articles in PLAYBOY! Everybody gasp! Go ahead. He earned an A! I read it and it was DAMNED good. Both the article and the paper! Thank god, not a naked anything of any gender to be seen. Of course, word spread, but like always that word was full of errors. Mothers came to speak with Ms. Daniels who did nothing to defend what she did. She handed over the copy of the article and asked them to read it. Charles Adams was a famous writer, having won award after award for writing excellence. He had been doing a series of articles that had nothing to do with sex or nudity at all. He tried to explain global warming even if it had unseasonable snows! The weather patterns changed and Gulf Stream and Jet Stream changed slightly and...he dumbed the article down to reach more readers in hopes that some ignorant bastard would understand at last. They probably only looked at the nudes. Pity. At least the article read at a high school level! Ms. Daniels handed Patrick's paper, admitting she was challenged to understand some of it, but Patrick was smart! Very smart. He did understand and explained it very well. I always suspected Patrick was...nevermind! I ain’t going there.

Chuck was the son of Judge Charles A. Slaughter and he didn't mitigate traffic tickets. He got crimes. Not the, she was cheating on me so I shot the boyfriend crimes either. Complex crimes of did they or didn’t they as motivations were explained and often hidden truths. Every lawyer, young or seasoned sweated Judge Slaughter’s no-nonsense approach to everything. All of the sons wanted to go to the Citadel. (Some of the daughters, too.) They still admittedly went to school to get a husband. Really!? Is it the 1950s again? Marry a doctor or lawyer? Maybe SHE wants to be the doctor or lawyer! They meet, marry and she's pregnant and she's done! If she did it all before thirty, well THAT was an accomplishment!

Yes, this is a big, BIG rabbit, but not unrelated. This is why I had a hard time accepting Peter and his no consequence family and country. All Chuck needed to possibly give up was his Corvette when he graduated...from High School! I wondered what he got graduating from The Citadel?

Anyway, I knew he couldn’t do it. I nodded, “It’s okay.” I even smiled at him. “We have something special.” I touched my own chest. “I’ve said it. I love you, Chuck. I always will.” I got closer, “I’m not breaking up with you, but you’re breaking up with me.”

“And letting him in?” Chuck asked a little bitterly.

I couldn't help it. The idea was so...ludicrous sounding. I burst out laughing. "You're jealous because I like that Yankee!?" I shook my head, "Too bad. I'm jealous all of the fucking time with Jackie! How many times these few weeks have you slipped her your dick?" I held my fist over my mouth as a felt my stomach wretch. It was real, too. The idea of what he did with her made me nauseated! It's natural, I know, I know. I didn't have to like it. A lion taking down an innocent deer is natural, as well. I didn't want to see that either. "You give her this awesome gift, does she appreciate it?”

There were these scales and numbers to represent the behaviors of people. I don't believe I gave any signs to what my preference was. I never did a sashay when I walk. Not even once. The scale had one number (0) meant you were completely heterosexual. The opposite extreme number (6) meant you were completely homosexual. The number in the middle (3) meant you were both. Please! No limp wrists. I just liked socializing with the male gender. Don't hate me! Remember? Again, gay. Me. I love and like many women. No romances for me. I'm NOT straight.

Chuck was embarrassed and nodded. “She’s never gotten all of me unprotected.” He looked almost...panicked. “I...just can’t.”

“I know. It doesn’t really matter.” I said, “I'm jealous she can." I smiled at Chuck. "Modern science will figure a way we can, but I would love to take your gift, mix it with me, and create a human being made from you and me." I smiled softer again. "That would be an awesome gift." I touched his face. "If you come by and if I'm home, you'll be welcome every time. What I won't be is anyone's secret." I literally had to stand on tiptoes as I kissed him. It was tender, soft, and lengthy. It was love that he gave back. I felt it. He had no choice. “See ya," I said and went out the door, leaving Chuck with a heart that was breaking. It was his choice. He chose "the life" over me. What did I offer him? Love?

 

Another kernel of wisdom from Grandpa. Disappointments come. They’re a part of life. Just don’t wallow too long, or you might miss something. I missed him now, but things he and did just wrapped tighter around me. Now, I was a prince of a country grandpa would have said, "Makarovia!? Where the Hell is That?”

If Chuck had asked me, I would have stayed. He didn't. So, I didn't. I saw him three times after that. Well, I saw him four times. He only saw me three. My mother tried to fight, but cancer is an evil lifeform. They cautioned me not to give this disease more than it is. I thought it was damned evil! Grandpa was healthy until then, but his cancer was so quick! Mom was giving it everything she had, and I knew to keep her spirits up was very important. Chuck came by once before Christmas. I didn't ask because I didn't want to know. He looked...haggard. I don't think I understood the meaning of the word, but he showed me what it meant on his face then. It was more than fatigue and he just looked drained. He came and saw me. I know! His choice, not mine. He couldn't give up the Country Club, future Mercedes and all the shit and stay with me. Now, I’m glad he didn’t. Could we have worked it out? Sure. He couldn’t see that as even a possibility.

This situation was barely tolerable. That Yankee in my life I knew I was was in love with. I told you what happened. If Chuck asked and I stayed, I could be driving the Mercedes and living at the Country Club. We could have been very happy. Then again, I was difficult to live with. I'm sure life with him was a breeze. (That was sarcasm again.) Beautiful thing sarcasm. You say exactly opposite of what you mean and that's almost always understood what you mean.

Don't feel sorry for either of us, though some probably will inevitably. I'm still sad at times about it. Chuck was fine and I am fine. Obviously not together or there would be no me telling you about the common American college man marrying Prince Whatshisname. Pedro, Peter, Pete, Petie was like a cat. I’m going on with the story! I swear. Like cats, there were several names. Three in T. S. Eliot's poem. Yes, it's a poem, and no I never cared

for poems. This one stuck, okay? From the book Old Possum's Practical Cats. It's a good poem. The poem spoke of a typical name he uses in public used by all humans. Another one, in particular, was more dignified but clearly not for common human use such as Munkustrap or Jellylorum. The secret name is just that. A secret. "The cat himself knows and will never confess."

It’s a good poem! It made it to Broadway! Cats! Naturally. Movies! He has a name only I can use. Husband. People can use it to identify him, but I call him that because that’s what he is to me.

Is it a rabbit if we speak about cats? Oh, nevermind, it became what it is because of the events in the past. Chuck helped shape me.

Right at the mid-year point and once before he graduated. He showed off his corvette. Then I didn’t see him a year.

He made it through Hell Week. The Knobs couldn't even walk on the sidewalk! No! They had to walk in the gutter! The white paved portion between the sidewalk and street. I would have been kicked out on day one! I still couldn't imagine a small upperclassman, barely five feet and five inches giving six-plus feet and two hundred and forty pounds Chuck a hard time.

Daniel Anthony was a private name. His grandmother and mother used it. I did, too. Just calling his name told my Italian Yankee my mood. Friends called him Tony or even Danny. He was not a Danny or a Tony to me. He was very important. He was killed and I didn’t know how I was going to make it. I did hearing my grandpa’s words in my head and having Grandma there most of the time.

Mom had good insurance so getting help with Mom was easy. I'd do whatever Mom needed, but grandma said to me. "You would, but as your mother gets sicker, she will lose control of a lot. Her bowels. No son should ever have to change his mother’s soiled underwear if you don’t have to.”

I could almost feel sorry for the nurses that cared for Mom. As strict as with Grandpa, she was Mama bear with Mom. Sure. Mom was her baby. I knew that. It was horribly unfair. She losing them both, the man she married was dead and their child was dying. We knew Mom was confounding the doctors about how long she fought, but we knew cancer would win.

Mom made sure I took the time to do what I wanted. When Daniel Anthony died, I think the understanding was with both my mother and Grandma I was in love with Daniel.

Oh, yeah. I did see Chuck one more time. He didn't see me. It was at the Citadel. I went for the Graduation Parade. Every student at the Citadel was in the parade. Say what you will, I had a hard time identifying one Cadet. Except for the slightly different uniforms, Knobs wore all grey, except today. He was moving up. All those bluish-grey jackets over the bleached white, white pants made them all look very sharp. That was the point of the uniform. No one person stood above anyone else. By size alone I guessed. Not much hair there. After the parade, Judge Slaughter approach one,

and I knew it was Chuck. Then his mother, sister and...a young woman I’d never seen before. No Jackie. He was finished with his first year of college. Jackie was still in high school. Jackie had not known but complained about not seeing Chuck hardly at all that year.

So was I, so I got the whole thing whether I wanted it or not. Her name was Ashton and was finishing her first year...wait for it. Vassar. You know the name, I'm sure. New York State? North of New York City not a hundred miles away. Women from Vassar were supposed to be very smart. Ashton looked smart! She was very pretty and she along with her alumnus married men from Yale, Harvard, Princeton, and all those Ivy League Schools. I didn't know commoners had pedigrees, but she had them. So confident. She attended Vassar and when she graduated, it was with honors, I found out. She belonged to THE Sorority. All the girls' initiations were though. I don't know what the Greek letters were and I never found out what was tough. The rumor was that any girl could pledge, but few were accepted. UNLESS (the finger is up) you could prove a family line or connection with American History. She had three!! Two direct Mayflower descendants and one was a President!

Which one? I don't know. I don't even know if he was a good president, but he married a grandmother's sister, making him an uncle.

Chuck had said he was looking at politics and maybe even president himself. That would be more difficult with me, but maybe with her. He probably couldn't go as far with Jackie at his side.

Is anyone surprised to know I didn't exactly like her? I tried not to hate her. It really wasn't her fault...exactly. I have NEVER thought she loved Chuck.

I just heard anger. It was a part of the breakup events, maybe that's where she was. Straights are weird anyway. I got the opinion that she was furious! Not really about losing Chuck, but wasting these few years on Chuck. All that time and effort on HIM! She wanted the Country Club and Mercedes! Now, it was gone!

I heard Jackie planned a few maneuvers and tried to break them up. I wished her well. I heard about her confrontation with Ashton. Sam, or Samatha, Walt’s girl, was telling the story to her friends and I was there!

"She gets him away from the group," Sam explained in a near stage whisper. "She got to kissing him as Ashton came over. She had asked him to bring it. He said he had, but he would go get it." Sam hissed, "That's it! And Ashton was walking away!

Jackie shouts, "It doesn't bother you I was kissing Chuck!?" "Not at all," Ashton says. "He's only been over with you here ten minutes. I don't own Chuck. I know he has breaks from the barracks. I know you're still in the city. If he were to cheat with you, how could I stop him? I know your past, yours, and Chucks." "All of it?" Jackie asked. "ALL," Ashton said pointedly, "of it." Ashton shakes her head and tells Jackie to "grow up."

This from a cheerleading teenager!? I didn’t know how much was true. What did Ashton mean saying ALL of it?

I heard of another about Easter where Jackie supposedly got into words with Ashton, or rather Jackie got into loud words with Ashton. Here’s another contrast I liked. Ashton never raised her voice. I love that in people! She was a lady. Damn! My head was almost turned. Of course, it wasn't but...my kind of Human Being!

And I’m no better than anyone else. I knew you don’t argue with her. You’ll lose. I wondered if Chuck and Ashton were still together. I hoped so. And there’s a part of me I hoped when the news broke about Peter and me, the interview by Anderson, the talk show that Chuck saw it wasn’t that bad with me. He had to know if he and I didn’t split up, I wouldn’t be in Makarovia And a prince. Yeah, but I hoped Jackie choked on whatever she was eating. I didn't like her. You got that? Not at all! Bitch.

Copyright © 2017 R. Eric; All Rights Reserved.
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Ok what on earth was that about!?!? I'm confused as anything!?!?

Sorry I've enjoyed the story until the last few weeks but this chapter is the oddest yet!?

Hate being negative but it's how it's left me !?!?

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2 minutes ago, Freemantleman said:

Ok what on earth was that about!?!? I'm confused as anything!?!?

Sorry I've enjoyed the story until the last few weeks but this chapter is the oddest yet!?

Hate being negative but it's how it's left me !?!?

Why is it odd?  King Olek is dealing with a bully.  I've mentioned some people and events that shaped how I'd react.  I mentioned Daniel before, Grandpa, my mother and their deaths.  These events made Eric what he is.  Chuck became bigger than I meant, but no anger about that.  If it hadn't happened, the story wouldn't exist.  I took you back before the mother's death and just before Northeastern.  It does follow.  I promise.  We are because what was in the past.  I'm toying with more from Jackie.  Also with Chuck.  He's real, or didn't you know?  My Chuck made similar decisions.  If he hadn't, I never would have met Daniel and married him.  That, and my mood effects my writing.  If a Psychologist or Psychiatrist reads my stuff in chronological order, I'd be interest in their findings.  Married, then Widowed, losing everything including my mind, the depression, a lot of drinking and death defying behavior.  Not suicidal, but not afraid of dying.  Am I belaboring any point?  Maybe.  I want the reader to know.  Eric and Peter need to confront Klaus.  The next book begins.  "Makarovia!  Who Doesn't Know?  Where Have You Been?"

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I AGREE ! a Very strange chapter that seemed to rehash alot of what has already been told,, in an extrapolated neurotic way. another entertaining journey into an over thinkers head,,,yet confusing for the story line at this stage of the story. It didnt seem to lead or relate to anything currently happening or enrich the readers perception of reasoning behind current happenings in Makarovia,,,ie how did posting Oleks meetings get received by the subjects,,what is happening to the threats ? How is the relationship progressing,,,,,,,

It would be good to see more story development and a bit less neurosis and flashbacks that dont relate. This would probably be better placed more towards the beginning as part of the character development 

I AM enjoying the story though , its been an interesting journey so please dont take my comments personally or as an attack on your writing, i just feel this chapter misplaced, though written well, and as such throws the reader off somewhat..

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Has anyone diagnosed him with adhd?

This chapter kind of hit hard for me. Im very familiar with hospice. My mother was on it for six years before succumbing to lung cancer, mixed with heart disease and dementia. I was there by her side everyday. Helping her when she fell calling nurses when there was a problem. Its hell. I know exactly how eric feels. The only girl i ever loved died of heart disease at twenty one. She never knew i loved her. I found out she had died two days after her funeral. Turns out mutual friends didnt even think to tell me, yet i had the decency to call and tell them after i foumd out. Death is a horrible thing. It can be a release for the departed, but we're just stuck here aftetwards.

I think i chased my own rabbit there..

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I think someone needs to look at the rabbit cage and fix it

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1 hour ago, soundaddict_nz said:

It would be good to see more story development and a bit less neurosis and flashbacks that dont relate. This would probably be better placed more towards the beginning as part of the character development 

I AM enjoying the story though , its been an interesting journey so please dont take my comments personally or as an attack on your writing, i just feel this chapter misplaced, though written well, and as such throws the reader off somewhat..

Couldn't have said it better myself.  This story has been moving forward very well and this chapter is simply over drawn out and misplaced.

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Eric, you obviously had a lot on your mind.   You needed to talk and needed someone to listen. You know your readers love you and will support you when you need the love.  Even if it’s in the form of an ear.  We know you’ve been through some horrible times.  Everyone has to process issues in their own way.  The way you dealt with the last few years is different than the way someone else would .  Neither is wrong.  Hopefully, this has helped calm things down for you, even if you didn’t realize that’s what you were doing.  I’m sorry if I’m rambling.  I’m very tired right now, working on getting ready for a bridal shower for our niece tomorrow, my husband’s 80th birthday today, our car blowing a tire on the freeway two days ago and a couple of other things.  I hope what I said made some sense and I am not hurting your feelings.

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I’m glad that the comments were made saying that this is your story to tell any way you want to tell it. Eric has been through alot in his short life losing his father grandfather and mother and having to deal with not only their illness but their deaths as well. I’ve been through some things with hospice as well and I don’t have a lot of respect for them because of what I’ve seen. I just got done reading this chapter and I had kind of a hard time following what was going on, then I would just go back a little bit and reread that part then I figured out what was going on. I hope the revelation of the tapes from the meetings with Olek will be enough of a deterrent for Klaus Ordan to keep his mouth shut if he wants to continue to live in Makarovia. I always look forward to reading the latest chapter for the story that way I’m up to date with what’s going on with the characters.

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  Good story overall, and i have been a fan of yours for a long time... going off on a tangent in the middle of a story will get people to skip till its relevent to the story again... harsh, i know... but sometimes truth is harsh (its why some people dont want to know the truth).

  YOU Are an ARTIST, sometimes artists need inspiration or guidance, not for others, but for yourself...

 if i was where you are, i would want the truth... no matter how harsh, or brutal, or disapointing... because i can make things better going forward... 

These are my feelings, and everyone is allowed to feel what they want... peace and respect.You Are Amazing Bill Murray GIF by MOODMAN

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Great story so far... I’m really loving it 😀

But this chapter was just mostly one BIG RABBIT!

 

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OMG!  You not only visited the rabbit hole, you moved in.  This story is about two young men falling in love, being Prince's and helping to run Makrovia.  Keep to that story line.  2 chapters of high school drivel is so over the top of boringness.  

You have caused me to lose complete interest in this story, and it makes me kinda sad.  You started out so strong too

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28 minutes ago, Timejun said:

OMG!  You not only visited the rabbit hole, you moved in.  This story is about two young men falling in love, being Prince's and helping to run Makrovia.  Keep to that story line.  2 chapters of high school drivel is so over the top of boringness.  

You have caused me to lose complete interest in this story, and it makes me kinda sad.  You started out so strong too

It's what I wrote.  I do NOT apologize for any of it.  Nor will I delete it.  I wanted to show a foundation for who they are.  If a chapter or two causes loss of interest, so be it.  I will NOT be censored!  I gain and lose readers all the time.  If you don't like my direction I'm going, get off.  I'll miss you.  No one tells me what or how to write MY story.  You thought it perfect alright to let me know where everyone can see it.  You could have sent me a note privately.  I'm letting you know just as you did so everyone can see.  Like it?  Fine.  Enjoy it.  There will be more.  Don't like it, don't worry.  Find something else to read.  By the way, there was a real Grandma Sams, only her name was Margret.  I have a lot from her and Grandpa Theodore.  :pissed:

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1 hour ago, Timejun said:

OMG!  You not only visited the rabbit hole, you moved in.  This story is about two young men falling in love, being Prince's and helping to run Makrovia.  Keep to that story line.  2 chapters of high school drivel is so over the top of boringness.  

You have caused me to lose complete interest in this story, and it makes me kinda sad.  You started out so strong too

His story is about whatever he wants it to be about. Just because thats the overall description of the story doesn't mean he cant add in parts he considers relevant. These two chapters were relevant to a main characters backstory. Its  called character development and it can happen anywhere throughout a story, up to and including a final chapter.

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R. Eric

Posted (edited)

17 minutes ago, Wesley8890 said:

His story is about whatever he wants it to be about. Just because thats the overall description of the story doesn't mean he cant add in parts he considers relevant. These two chapters were relevant to a main characters backstory. Its  called character development and it can happen anywhere throughout a story, up to and including a final chapter.

Thank you.   It wasn't my intention, but it's art when brings out emotions.  There is a lot of emoting right now.  Should I be concerned or relieved?  :unsure:

Edited by R. Eric
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1 minute ago, R. Eric said:

Thank you.   It wasn't my intention, but it's art when brings out emotions.  There is a lot of emoting right now.  Do I be concerned or relieved?  :unsure:

My best advice, which is what a good author friend told me is, write what you feel is right. Writing is such a cathartic thing. Ill be honest when I'm writing I'm not thinking about what the readers think at that moment. I'm writing for one person, me. Now yes i may care what they say after I'm finished.what i love about your stories is that they are you! They give me glimpses of what has shaped your life. Its the best kind of writing in my opinion. Dont be concerned because a few negtatove nancies get their panties in a bunch because they can't follow the rabbit.you followed it caught it and cooked it in this chapter. Never apologize for what you write. 

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19 hours ago, Freemantleman said:

Ok what on earth was that about!?!? I'm confused as anything!?!?

Sorry I've enjoyed the story until the last few weeks but this chapter is the oddest yet!?

Hate being negative but it's how it's left me !?!?

 

18 hours ago, soundaddict_nz said:

I AGREE ! a Very strange chapter that seemed to rehash alot of what has already been told,, in an extrapolated neurotic way. another entertaining journey into an over thinkers head,,,yet confusing for the story line at this stage of the story. It didnt seem to lead or relate to anything currently happening or enrich the readers perception of reasoning behind current happenings in Makarovia,,,ie how did posting Oleks meetings get received by the subjects,,what is happening to the threats ? How is the relationship progressing,,,,,,,

It would be good to see more story development and a bit less neurosis and flashbacks that dont relate. This would probably be better placed more towards the beginning as part of the character development 

I AM enjoying the story though , its been an interesting journey so please dont take my comments personally or as an attack on your writing, i just feel this chapter misplaced, though written well, and as such throws the reader off somewhat..

 

17 hours ago, Wesley8890 said:

Has anyone diagnosed him with adhd?

This chapter kind of hit hard for me. Im very familiar with hospice. My mother was on it for six years before succumbing to lung cancer, mixed with heart disease and dementia. I was there by her side everyday. Helping her when she fell calling nurses when there was a problem. Its hell. I know exactly how eric feels. The only girl i ever loved died of heart disease at twenty one. She never knew i loved her. I found out she had died two days after her funeral. Turns out mutual friends didnt even think to tell me, yet i had the decency to call and tell them after i foumd out. Death is a horrible thing. It can be a release for the departed, but we're just stuck here aftetwards.

I think i chased my own rabbit there..

 

17 hours ago, drsawzall said:

I think someone needs to look at the rabbit cage and fix it

 

17 hours ago, pvtguy said:

Couldn't have said it better myself.  This story has been moving forward very well and this chapter is simply over drawn out and misplaced.

 

16 hours ago, Buz said:

Hullo R.Eric,

Here is my two cents worth.

You have a story to tell, you tell it. You get to tell it how you want to because it is your story. If people like your story enough to become invested in it, bonus. If not, no harm no foul. There isn't one story that every single person in the whole world is gonna love.

Readers are obviously entitled to express their comments, which is one of the reasons I love this site. Some of the comments are funny as, can be thought provoking, educational (Hi Dr Paladin!), etc.

Ultimately, you can only do you Boo. You can't do everyone/anyone else.

Lastly, cancer and hospices suck. Not Hospices themselves or the service they provide. Just...been there, done that, got the traumatic memories to prove it, never want to go through it again!

Big Hugs from me. Don't dismiss these. I have been told I give the best hugs ever - seriously! :hug::hug::hug:

 

15 hours ago, Clancy59 said:

Eric, you obviously had a lot on your mind.   You needed to talk and needed someone to listen. You know your readers love you and will support you when you need the love.  Even if it’s in the form of an ear.  We know you’ve been through some horrible times.  Everyone has to process issues in their own way.  The way you dealt with the last few years is different than the way someone else would .  Neither is wrong.  Hopefully, this has helped calm things down for you, even if you didn’t realize that’s what you were doing.  I’m sorry if I’m rambling.  I’m very tired right now, working on getting ready for a bridal shower for our niece tomorrow, my husband’s 80th birthday today, our car blowing a tire on the freeway two days ago and a couple of other things.  I hope what I said made some sense and I am not hurting your feelings.

 

14 hours ago, Butcher56 said:

I’m glad that the comments were made saying that this is your story to tell any way you want to tell it. Eric has been through alot in his short life losing his father grandfather and mother and having to deal with not only their illness but their deaths as well. I’ve been through some things with hospice as well and I don’t have a lot of respect for them because of what I’ve seen. I just got done reading this chapter and I had kind of a hard time following what was going on, then I would just go back a little bit and reread that part then I figured out what was going on. I hope the revelation of the tapes from the meetings with Olek will be enough of a deterrent for Klaus Ordan to keep his mouth shut if he wants to continue to live in Makarovia. I always look forward to reading the latest chapter for the story that way I’m up to date with what’s going on with the characters.

 

13 hours ago, Shaggy_93 said:

  Good story overall, and i have been a fan of yours for a long time... going off on a tangent in the middle of a story will get people to skip till its relevent to the story again... harsh, i know... but sometimes truth is harsh (its why some people dont want to know the truth).

  YOU Are an ARTIST, sometimes artists need inspiration or guidance, not for others, but for yourself...

 if i was where you are, i would want the truth... no matter how harsh, or brutal, or disapointing... because i can make things better going forward... 

These are my feelings, and everyone is allowed to feel what they want... peace and respect.You Are Amazing Bill Murray GIF by MOODMAN

 

12 hours ago, mutch71 said:

Great story so far... I’m really loving it 😀

But this chapter was just mostly one BIG RABBIT!

 

 

4 hours ago, Timejun said:

OMG!  You not only visited the rabbit hole, you moved in.  This story is about two young men falling in love, being Prince's and helping to run Makrovia.  Keep to that story line.  2 chapters of high school drivel is so over the top of boringness.  

You have caused me to lose complete interest in this story, and it makes me kinda sad.  You started out so strong too

 

2 hours ago, Wesley8890 said:

His story is about whatever he wants it to be about. Just because thats the overall description of the story doesn't mean he cant add in parts he considers relevant. These two chapters were relevant to a main characters backstory. Its  called character development and it can happen anywhere throughout a story, up to and including a final chapter.

 

2 hours ago, Wesley8890 said:

My best advice, which is what a good author friend told me is, write what you feel is right. Writing is such a cathartic thing. Ill be honest when I'm writing I'm not thinking about what the readers think at that moment. I'm writing for one person, me. Now yes i may care what they say after I'm finished.what i love about your stories is that they are you! They give me glimpses of what has shaped your life. Its the best kind of writing in my opinion. Dont be concerned because a few negtatove nancies get their panties in a bunch because they can't follow the rabbit.you followed it caught it and cooked it in this chapter. Never apologize for what you write. 

Damn!  So much emotion about a couple of chapters?  I wrote this to add depth to my character.  What is his motivation?  Casually mentioning some did something or said something isn't enough sometimes.  What happened to make it so intense?  Death played a HUGE part in my life.  I'm still reacting.  In my case, Dad, Mom, Grandma, and husband still effects me.   There is A LOT on my mind, but I always wrote.  I lost almost all of my sight because of Glaucoma and use medication daily to keep the sixty percent left in one eye.  There is a cathartic purpose to write.  I keep Daniels memory here.  I had to or lose Daniel forever.  I had several stories going at the same time to always have something to write.  I made Daniel a vampire so he could not be easily killed.  Not again.  My going back, not quite a decade my Muse thought I should.  I dealt with depression and many other things in the aftermath, including guilt.  Did he really know how much I oved him?  What is said in my stories, the "I Love You and I know" was really said.  Was it often enough?

I refuse to apologize for anything I wrote.  I've not believed in Censorship of any kind since I left the Southern Baptist Church.  I was surprised a few years ago when someone smart read a story and loved it.  Really?  Another loved the way Daniel and Bantered back and forth and thought a show should be done.  That person had no connections to television so...North Meets South came.  All I want is write and hopefully it will mean something to someone who'll grab it and hang on.  I needed a mentor in the 1970s.  I didn't know where to look.  I didn't even know minorities were gay.  I was practically sequestered!  I will not be told where to take us on this trip.  I have the steering wheel or rudder and I know where we should be...mostly...kind of.  A number of readers have gone.  New ones came.  Mention something to me and maybe it will be there soon.  The Crieds in Cinderfella, the Mines in England in Blueblood II and others came from suggestions,  I have feelings.  Don't hurt me.  :P

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I am not judging you, or your creative process... i have the utmost respect for you and your work, i and some others feel this chapter left the story...

 

With or without context, it left the story, all we wanted was a warning, so we can continue this wonderful series.

We love you, and your work, the way you work, the experinces you get to share, the memories you have shared... the love you have shared with us all...

Seriously, just a warning is all were asking for... but only if half the chapter ends up being a flashback ( they are good for character development,  but a hindrance if used too much... my english teacher taught me that).

Sorry if i am being in any way rude or insensitive, but i respect you too much to not say something.respect GIF

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R. Eric

Posted (edited)

22 minutes ago, Shaggy_93 said:

I am not judging you, or your creative process... i have the utmost respect for you and your work, i and some others feel this chapter left the story.

Understood.  Not offended, now.  My intent was not to leave the story, but make all the more real.  An American High School teenager becomes a prince.  He isn't really and only by marriage.  Helga will be as the future king's or queen's mother.  There won't be until...no.  I spoil it.  There must be an heir, from both Eric and Peter to meet that requirement.  I'll let you stew on that.  I won't say more.  :devil:

Edited by R. Eric
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I hardly ever comment, but sometimes I feel that I must. This is an excellent story. Those of you b*tching and moaning about these two chapters must not be familiar with giving a character a back story. Also, it’s R.Eric’s creation he can write about whatever he wants. I wish I had a quarter of his abilities to create such interesting characters and storylines.  I think we’re lucky he wants to share his talents with us. I have read everything he’s written and will continue to do so. Thank you sir! Be well and stay safe! 

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3 minutes ago, Cafeaulaitdame said:

I hardly ever comment, but sometimes I feel that I must. This is an excellent story. Those of you b*tching and moaning about these two chapters must not be familiar with giving a character a back story. Also, it’s R.Eric’s creation he can write about whatever he wants. I wish I had a quarter of his abilities to create such interesting characters and storylines.  I think we’re lucky he wants to share his talents with us. I have read everything he’s written and will continue to do so. Thank you sir! Be well and stay safe! 

Bless you.

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Love the story but these rabbits though part of the story, are getting boring  to read :(

I wouldn't say the rabbits are the "problem" but the story progression being replaced by random information that although part of the story it's not really necessary. These rabbits contrast a lot with the progression. When you mention the bad guys or the public's reaction to something is exciting and the rabbits are quite time consuming... I actually like a few like when Eric explains something specific to Peter but without drawing in it.

good chapter tho. Nice explication for the Chuck situation. I had my Chuck in the past and it's really disappinting but a chance to learn to move on before losing what too much time.

Love it and keep writing and having fun with it dude. It's awesome :D

 

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I'm sorry if I caused a bit of a shit storm of mixed comments that was never my intention I'm not that kind of guy.

I didn't know which character  was based on a real person etc & the pain & suffering you've had to endure & im truly sorry for your pain & loss!!!!!

Back story  is always helpful! I just as a "consumer " didn't get it's relevance in this instance hence my original comments.

I read for escapism pure & simple & I don't  always want to have to work hard when reading & that's my choice.

Not looking to censure anyone or anything else & I've gotten used to the "rabbit holes" to a degree but thought this one was (again as a consumer /reader etc etc) confusing as it was in my humble opinion 90% rabbit hole!  like anyone this is only my outsiders opinions purely based on a single read.

I like your work & have read many of your stories/ books  & will continue to do so in the future.

Roll on next chapter I want to see if this idiot from the provinces  gets his comeuppance!?!?

Thank you for entertaining me during some of my own tough times!! 

I'm English &  I'll leave you with a northern Adage:

I've said my piece  & I'll bugger off now!

Rgds

Ian

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Outstanding chapter! There is a lot of depth in this chapter if you take the time to understand what you are reading. Most people these days skim through the chapters and are entertained while it they follow the formula that the reader expects. Authors write a story about a subject that has meaning for them. There’s many stories that just follow the time honored formulas that are supposed to make the writers popular. True storytelling IS an art. If you are looking for a standardized experience you should go to a multi-plex and see the latest film part 19. Artistry makes you think, makes you understand and makes you want more. R. Eric is an artist, he is an author and to me, he can do no wrong. I sincerely hope that the “critics” will go back and try to understand what the characters are doing and why they are doing it. I very much enjoyed the past chapters and am looking forward to the next chapter! 😃❤️
 

Thank you for the opportunity to enjoy your stories and the exceptional amount of time and work that you put into them! 👏👏👏👏👏👏

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R. Eric

Posted (edited)

5 hours ago, flesco said:

Outstanding chapter! There is a lot of depth in this chapter if you take the time to understand what you are reading. Most people these days skim through the chapters and are entertained while it they follow the formula that the reader expects. Authors write a story about a subject that has meaning for them. There’s many stories that just follow the time honored formulas that are supposed to make the writers popular. True storytelling IS an art. If you are looking for a standardized experience you should go to a multi-plex and see the latest film part 19. Artistry makes you think, makes you understand and makes you want more. R. Eric is an artist, he is an author and to me, he can do no wrong. I sincerely hope that the “critics” will go back and try to understand what the characters are doing and why they are doing it. I very much enjoyed the past chapters and am looking forward to the next chapter! 😃❤️
 

Thank you for the opportunity to enjoy your stories and the exceptional amount of time and work that you put into them! 👏👏👏👏👏👏

Bingo!  I am not so conceited to think I am a great writer, but I am a writer.  The longer I live, I recognize my "style" is all mine and that style has matured and changed.  I'm still a happy person, even during hard times, I remained happy...mostly.  My vampire stories is told differently than vampire stories like Dracula, Lestat, or any other vampire stories.  Cinderfella is not told as a Fairy Tale.  Straight, gay, transsexual, Intersexual, bisexual, or even asexual has one thing in common.  We're Human!  I don't really want this to be a gay story.  It's a story where many major characters are gay!!  I hope someone, eventually, will read my stories and realize "okay, I'm gay.  So what?"  I want to save thirty to forty and fifty years of torture.  Live, love and be who you are!  If you don't you'll get sick!:puke:

Edited by R. Eric
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