Makarovia! Yes, I Know Where That is! Sophomore Year - 11. Chapter 11

We again started to get things back to some sort of normalcy. Peter and I loved having family with us. Olek and Helga seemed to really be solidifying as a couple. At the table in the kitchen, Grandmother was talking with Peter and me, to me about retiring.

“You love that school!” I said not wanting to acknowledge the truth. “You’re still healthy and active. Why?”

“Because I’m in my seventies.” Grandmother said smiling. “I am still healthy and active.” She reached over and patted my hand. “Right now, there is only one thing I want to be around for. To see you happily married to someone you care deeply about and he does you. I will see you receive a crown.” She shrugged. “After that…I’m pretty much done.” She smiled as she saw my eyes grow. “I will die.” She said simply. “It’s the cycle of life. I was married for decades to a very special person. We had a daughter who gave birth to you. The life you and Peter will have will be nothing but spectacular.” She smiled again. “I miss your grandfather. To be honest, I don’t know what’s beyond this life. I hope so much there is something, but I will find out soon. I look forward to seeing him. Or I simply won’t be. There is no choice. I choose to think there is.”

I grimaced. “This is a lousy setup.”

She laughed. “How do you know? It might be wonderful!” She moved closer to me. “Think about it. We are not just self-aware chemical reactions and we are self-aware. We learn about our place in this universe. We understand what we learn. A dog or cat is somewhat self-aware as are other creatures, but do they look up and see the sun? Do they even think about that huge ball of gases? Do they wonder what is or have the desire and ability to find out? Do they understand anything beyond their needs? They are capable of love, but are they really? We are. That which is in us, look out and see the world and we want there to be more. Does that ever happen in any other creature? I don’t know. I will find out soon.” She patted my hand. “Now, the truth is…” she pointed at Peter, “one of you will die before the other if you aren’t killed together. Cherish what time you have. Enjoy your time together. It’s a gift. I think you know that.”

I smiled at her and hugged her. “I do and I will.”

“And,” she chuckled, “I’ll be doing the old lady thing soon. I will sell the house and move somewhere warm.” She rubbed her arms like she was cold. “I can’t tolerate the cold like I used to.” She shrugged. “A nice, single bedroom condo would be much easier. I’m glad you’re marrying in the spring. I won’t be coming to Makarovia in the winter.”

“So, Christmas is out?” I asked. “I will be in Makarovia then and at New Year’s.”

She nodded. “I won’t do it in Makarovia. Your place is with these people…your new family. We’ll be in touch as well. I have only one request.”

I nodded.

“I have it written in my will, but…when the time comes. I want to be beside your grandfather.”

Her saying that it just hit me in that place in my heart as a tear came.

She saw my expression and smiled at me, patting my hand. “You will hurt. I know that.” She said softly. “I had a very good life. I regret nothing. Know that. It was a good, good life.” She said bringing me in and kissing my cheek right below the eye a little longer than just a peck. “I will always love you, Eric. I could last another ten or twenty years. I’ll be around as long as possible.”

Peter smiled and chuckled. “Eric and I did discuss it, but…we’re being cremated.”

Grandma didn’t seem alarmed. “Oh?”

I chuckled. “My husband wants our ashes put in the same urn and mixed together.” I grinned at him. “He thinks it will be the ultimate sexual experience.”

Grandmother laughed. “I guess it would be. I won’t mind if they buried me in your grandfather’s casket, but…”

It was later that day when I checked my email and as promised. There were some audio clips sent by Drew. The message he wrote was simple.

“It’s not all pleasant, but you know that. We cleaned up the recordings and you will hear Milo’s voice or Bren’s voice. There is an overlay of interpretive English to understand. Love, Drew.”

I saw Peter walk in our room, stop and look back in our study. “Milo?”

I nodded. “I thought I would listen. Do you want to hear it?”

Peter came in nodding. Once again, we shared the same chair. It was barely wide enough, but being close to each other was not a problem.

I downloaded the clips and started the first one.

“This is the recording of Milo Weir.” A female voice said and gave the time and date.

Then a voice came over the speakers, in Makarovian. “What do I do?” I couldn’t help but smile. He had a nice voice. It was male. It had a pitch that was between a bass and a tenor. It was pleasant sounding.

“Start wherever you want to.” The woman said. “I prefer it to be in your native language, just to make sure it’s all…correct.”

He chuckled. “Ich erinnere mich noch, wie.” Then a second male voice came. “I still remember how.” Not obtrusive with the recording.

Hearing both was a little…difficult at first, but I got used to it.

“Why not start telling about your meeting Bren?” The woman asked.

Milo chuckled. “That’s easy. We were both barely teenagers at the time. I was being persuaded to join this group of future Nazis. As far as I was concerned, they were nothing but street thugs. Bullies. They were given power and just ran with it. I said I’d think about it. Father always said think of my future and said to make friends with the people of this party, but…I wasn’t so sure.”

I smiled and pulled up the picture of Milo and Bren together when they were in their fifties. Now, I saw Milo and could hear him. I felt like he was talking to me. He was!

“Then Bren came up as these thugs were getting a little physical with me. Not hitting, but shoving and pushing me. He didn’t do this sort of thing. He was quiet and really shy, but he spoke up to them! I’ll just say, he looked pretty good before, but with the black eye he was sexy!” Then his voice became quieter like he was telling a secret. “I was in love from that moment.” He chuckled again. “He is sooo beautiful.”

The woman must have spoken German because she said as she chuckled that was interpreted by the other voice. “I think he is, too. What’s important, is you think so.”

“I do,” Milo said happily. “Things were pretty hard then…a lot of people were becoming unwanted. Particularly those who were Jewish. The gold stars were showing up more and more. I knew there would be trouble if I told anyone I was homosexual, but…” he sighed, “I knew I liked to look at men.” He said simply. “A beautiful woman was nice, but…it was the male form that made me want to touch and get nearer them. When Bren and I grew up more…I was helpless to stop it. I was in love with Bren!” His words and tone said he was helpless not to. Then I heard him laugh more. “That first night…” he qualified quickly, “I mean the first kiss. We were so young we were seventeen, but he was the most beautiful thing I ever saw. We’d had a good night together…as friends. We had already told each other we were best friends. In those long moments of comfortable silence between us…my heart was pounding, because…I knew…I knew this was an important night, but I didn’t want to scare him. We both knew it. In the garden attached to his house…we were just enjoying the night and each other’s company. He was looking at me and…he did this. I say again because he’s not that brave, but when I looked back…he just leaned in and lightly and softly touched his lips to mine and…” you could hear his intake of breath, “I was kissed by an angel! Or God Himself!! It wasn’t long, but he saw my eyes, smiled and said: I love you, Milo.” Milo said relishing the memory. “Then he got up and walked away before I could say anything.” He chuckled again. “Needless to say, I couldn’t wait to see him the next day. I told him: I love you, Bren. We kissed again. I knew I was never letting go of him.”

The woman laughed. “And you didn’t.”

“I didn’t.” Milo readily agreed. “We had such hopes…foolish, I think. We were young with a future…until…” I heard his breath catch and then his voice broke as he began crying. Hearing the sound of fabric, I could see in my mind as someone moved over next to him.

“It’s over. You don’t have to do this all at once.” The woman said.

“Why am I doing this at all?” Milo asked mournfully through his tears.

“I know it’s difficult.” The woman said. “I have found that once someone talks after such a horrible event. You two were violated in the worst possible way! Talking and Bren will begin to heal.” She said compassionately. “You and Bren need to heal.”

“You want Bren to do this!?” Milo asked. “He can’t!”

“Then he will remain as he is.” She said simply. “It doesn’t have to be all at once. We’ll ease him into it. I promise.” The sound of someone being patted, probably on the shoulder or arm. “Why don’t you tell about the first pleasant memory with Bren? Something before the camps?”

I heard him sniff. “We would meet in secret.” He chuckled. “Places we could be together unseen and time just disappeared when we found it.” He sniffed again and then chuckled. “We didn’t know what the hell we were doing. We just knew we were what each other wanted. I’d heard about what to do. So, had Bren. Knowing it and doing it…that really isn’t the same.” He said and I could almost see the reluctant shrug and nod, “but I knew what I wanted, that was Bren. There was no one to ask. Those with those awful triangles were there…” and he snorted in anger. “What business is it of everyone else what we do with another human being? We both wanted it. Those men that wore those triangles wanted it, but those men began to disappear. It was dangerous so we would seek places that were…empty. Get together and…” again, it was my imagination, but the tone said he was smiling, “he was an angel. Fire burned in me. I wanted to touch him. It was at his house we finally got the chance. He was eighteen and so was I. What choice did we have? We were safe in his house. If his parents didn’t know. It was the night after his party and I stayed that first night. It was not…as nice as it could have been. We couldn’t just let go, his parents were in the other room. We did it, though. Neither of us were satisfied with it and decided to go somewhere to do that…let go. We knew we’d get in trouble, but didn’t realize how bad it would get. We pooled our money and booked a weekend at the hotel in France on the beach. We traveled there and…” he was chuckling again, “it was amazing. There were obstacles to overcome, mostly having to do with our lack of knowledge about what to do, but we figured it out!” He sighed again. “Oh, what a weekend. I didn’t consider Bren my boyfriend. He was part of my life! It was so…nice there. I felt we really connected that weekend. Then when we…” then he stopped and again began crying. “I can’t.” He said. “I can’t.” He began sobbing.

The woman apparently hugged him saying in Makarovian. “That’s okay, that is perfectly understandable. I don’t know the pain, but I can hear it in your voice. I think that’s enough for today. Shhh,” she comforted and we heard a pat she must have given Milo on the back, “you’re doing great, Milo. We’ll take up from there another day.” This was also on the tape. “Now, you go home to that wonderful person in your life. A person that you married here in Makarovia. Love him. It will be fine. We can’t undo what happened, but we can make things better. I promise.” She said the date and time again and the clip ended.

“These aren’t just recordings,” I said shaking my head. “These are sessions. She was doing therapy sessions.”

Peter nodded. “How many of those tapes did you find?”

“Over a dozen or more,” I said waving at the computer and the many audio file clips there. “This is all from Milo’s tape! There was another for Bren’s.”

Peter shook his head moaning as he rubbed his face in frustration. “I can’t see why!” He said angrily and pounded the desk in that anger. “It doesn’t make any goddamned sense to me. I may be innocent and naïve, but what’s so wrong with what we do!? What harm can come with Milo loving Bren? Or me loving you?”

“There is nothing wrong with it. That’s the whole point we need to get across. We’re human, it’s what we do. We have sex! Homosexual numbers worldwide are in the hundreds of millions. There are many more that…attracted to both, but gave up one to be accepted by the others that don’t get it.” I smiled. “Think about it. To these people, if God wanted us to do this, he would have given us natural lubrication. We make ours to have sex artificially.”

He stood up and went to the window and looked out. “We don’t exactly have to. There are primates that do it with…all in the group, male, female, young and old!”

I nodded. “Bonobos.”

Peter snapped his fingers and pointed at me triumphantly that I knew that. “That’s it,” Peter said nodding. “They don’t use easy glide or ecstasy lubrication! Is it wrong that we came up with something that smells nice and eases the job or makes it better!?” He came back to me. “I can’t love you because we use things like that?”

I shrugged. “We aren’t the only ones using those. You’ve seen all the ads for gels and lotions…there are products by KY that have gels and lubricants for him and her to make things explosive! They do it, too.”

“So, help me get it. Where is our crime?” Peter asked leaning over the desk at me.

I grinned rising from the chair and came closer to him. “There is no crime. Your mother sees the truth; your brother sees the truth…all of Makarovia sees the truth. We need everyone to see the truth. Sex is a powerful thing. If you can control that, you have control of almost everything. There are cultures that only allow sex for procreation. There are groups that do it through a hole in the sheets. Some restrict how and when. Get the people to believe something, promise the rewards if they comply and punishments when they don’t! That’s power!” I put my arms around him pulled him closer. “I even heard a story…and I don’t know if it’s true, but…supposedly, the king had to grant a couple the right to have a child.”

Peter’s eyes grew. “What!?”

I nodded. “Again, I can’t verify this…I think it’s more of a myth, but in English history, they would have to post a note on the door. Fornicating Under Consent of King; to have a child.” I said that last sentence in English. It was the only way he’d get it.

Peter looked confused as he thought and then he nodded. “Oh, the word,” and he said it in English, “fuck!”

I nodded smiling at him. “That’s right.”

Peter gave a wavering nod and shrug. “Of all the dumb, stupid…”

I chuckled bringing him in for a kiss. This wasn’t a peck, but a soft and then building harder more probing kiss, which Peter didn’t stop, but returned with equal passion as his breath caught and his arms tightened around me, going up my back and down my side. “I love you, Peter.”

Pressing his cheek against mine he spoke quietly in my ear. “I know you do, baby. I have never doubted that.” He said as emotion was in his voice. “I love you so much.”

I nodded not moving but was enjoying the contact with him. “I know you do. That is the greatest gift you’ve ever given to anyone. Thank you for saving it for me.” I smiled as my hands went over his warm body. “Sex is more than a means to an end. It isn’t just to have children. They are gotten through sex, but…I can’t think of a better way for two separate individuals to get any closer, connect and bond. I’m bound to you, Peter. I belong…to you.”

Peter smiled. “So, do you feel like reconnecting? Maybe bond some more?”

“Drop your pants and let’s go.”

Peter chuckled. “I think we should move to the bed? Make it more…comfortable.”

I nodded. “That’s what it was designed to do; it was made to accommodate two for just that reason. A more comfortable place to have sex.”

Peter nodded. “I can see that.” He kissed me again deeply. “I belong to you. We’re going to be together the rest of our lives.”

“Yes, we will," I said as he got us to the bed and began lowering us on it. “Now, less talking…more bonding.” He chuckled kissing me deeply and lovingly.