Stranded With a Vampire - 15. Chapter 15

"You are an idiot." Caden commented once Ludwig had finished telling him the story of how he had become a vampire.

Baffled, the dark-haired man just stared at his companion. He had expected the redhead to maybe be scared or infuriated, after hearing his darkest, most shameful sin but instead Caden just sneered and insulted him. "W-what?" He stammered, still unable to comprehend why the human was behaving like that.

"Oh, come on, dude, you can't really believe that God cursed you to be a vampire, just because you fucked another guy?!" Caden laughed, amused that apparently the vampire genuinely thought that his vampirism was a result of God's wrath. Just the idea of the Big-Guy above turning gay people into vamps, was so outlandish to him, that he could help himself but laugh about it.

The redhead's laughter and mocking infuriated Ludwig. "The Lord didn't curse me, he punished me for my unnatural behavior and lustfulness!" He loudly corrected the human, but all his yelling did was make the redhead laugh even more, to the point where he was rolling on the ground and gasping for air.

Ludwig’s anger was about to boil over when the redhead sat up again, looked at him with a look of pity in his eyes and sighed. "Okay, first of all, being gay isn't 'unnatural' it's just what it is. And, secondly, if God really did shit like that, earth would be sooo fucked, because there would be millions of gay vampire's running around, sucking on people's necks." Caden tried to explain, but the vampire still seemed unconvinced.

The blue-eyed vampire shook his head, even though his companions' words made sense, he still couldn't believe it. After all, if it hadn't been God's will, then whose will was it? Who had he enraged to the point where they wished eternal suffering upon him?

No matter how long Ludwig thought about it, he just couldn't figure it out. In his opinion he had always been a just and merciful man, who had tried his best to be a good Christian. The only time he had gone against the Lord's rules was when he had laid with another man, so how could it not be the reason for his predicament?

"Is it really so important why you are a vampire? It doesn't really change who you are." Caden questioned, when he saw how much his company was struggling with the new realization. He meant to cheer up the vampire by telling him that it didn't really matter but it seemingly had quite the opposite effect, because just seconds after the words had left his mouth, blood red streams of tears started running down the pale cheeks of the vampire.
Shit! Was it wrong to say that?! Fuck, what do I do?! The redhead panicked, and yet didn't do anything because he was too worried he might mess it up even more.

Ludwig slowly turned his head towards Caden, only then realizing that he was crying. Quickly the vampire whipped the blood off his own face and tried to compose himself again, afraid that his sign of weakness may impact the image the human had of him. He wanted to be strong and resilient. But, now faced with the realization that what he had believed in for a thousand years was possibly nothing more than him coming to the wrong conclusion, he felt himself crumbling to pieces. Sure, the redhead was right about it not changing who he was at face value, but it still mattered. In fact it mattered a lot to him, because without a reason behind it all, there was no point in his existence and counting to suffer through his eternal life. After all, the only reason Ludwig had never given up and forced himself to not lose himself in the pleasure of blood and flesh was because he had hoped that, one day, God may forgive him and grant him a place in heaven.

If God isn't angry with me and isn't the one who punished me, then I can never gain his forgiveness…I can't redeem myself! There is no redemption for me, I will never be free of this curse! Ludwig thought, his thoughts spiraling out of control and his body shaking from the earthquake that was rippling through his brain.

"I need some time to think." The dark-haired vampire breathlessly mumbled and got up.

"About what?! Hey, wait! When will you be back?" Caden yelled after him. But, he received no reaction from the vampire, who quickly disappeared into the pitch black thicket of the forest. "Fine! I can totally take care of myself! You will see!"