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  • Renee Stevens

    Spring Anthology: In the Stars & Snapped *Set 1* - NOW LIVE

    By Renee Stevens

    Well, it's that time again!  Have you been looking for something to read? Wondering when the anthologies would start to go live? Well, wait no more!  Today we have 4 stories for you to enjoy, and each week I will make another set live. Enjoy!!! And don't forget to leave the authors feedback in the form of comments and reviews!   Himmelszelt (Canopy of Heaven) Aditus   Finding Joy AC Benus     Flashpoint CassieQ   The Visitor
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    Music

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    Tracks

    ——————————————

     

     

    1. Happy When You Smile (Brandon Chandler) - When Brandon Smiles
    2. Smile (Josh Groban) - Chandler Sings An Uplifting Song
    3. Perfect The Way You Are (Dead by April) - Chandler’s Words At Millennium Park
    4. February Song (Josh Groban) - Chandler Sings A Bittersweet Song
    5. I’ll Stand By You (Glee Cover) - Chandler’s Support
    6. I Heard You Lost Your Smile (The Broken Beat) - When Brandon Cries
    7. Only The Young (Brandon Flowers) - ‘You are young. There’s always a tomorrow.’ 
    8. Does Your Mother Know (Gender Bent ABBA Cover from ‘Mama Mia’) - ‘Slow down there Brandon!’
    9. No One Is To Blame (Howard Jones) - Ageless Attractions
    10. Last Chance On The Stairway (Duran Duran) - Seduction At The Party
    11. Save A Prayer (Duran Duran) - ‘Save It ‘Til The Morning After’
    12. Don’t Talk To Me About Love! (Altered Images) - Chandler Takes Greg To Task
    13. Fix You (Anthem Lights Covers Coldplay) - Comforting Brandon
    14. Somewhere Over The Rainbow / Wonderful World (Israel Kamakawiwo’ole) - Chandler’s Telephone Lullaby
    15. You Are Loved (Don’t Give Up) (Josh Groban) - Chandler Sings A Love Song
    16. Ordinary World (Red Covers Duran Duran) - Helping Brandon Out The Other Side
    17. Notbroken (The Goo Goo Dolls) - Chandler’s Iris
    18. Talk - Alternative Version (Coldplay) - Brandon Talks To Chandler About Getting Caught
    19. Listen To Your Heart (Glee) - Chandler Shows The Way To Do This ‘Gay’ Thing
    20. That’s What I’m Here For (Jason Castro) - ‘Thanks’
    21. True Colors (Glee) - ‘Time To Fly, Brandon’
    22. The Scientist (Coldplay) - Affirmations and the Long Road Given
    23. As Hard As It Is (Brandon Chandler) - ‘Can things get better?’
    24. Things Can Only Get Better (Howard Jones) - ‘Yes, things always can . . .’
    25. Stay On These Roads (A-ha) - ‘ . . . As long as you stay the course.’ 

     

     

    Happy When You Smile (Brandon Chandler) - When Brandon Smiles

     

    Are you strugglin’

    To begin

    Slow down

    And breathe in

    A change

    It happens

     

    (Chorus)

    Are you Happy When You Smile?

    Are you sad when you laugh?

    There’s beauty in this world

    And you’re a part of that. (X)

     

    Are you tryin’

    To hide?

    Are you lonely

    Inside?

    We all struggle

    Sometimes

     

    (Chorus)

     

    Hey love where you goin’ to now?

    Hey love where you runnin’ off now?

    It’s a lonely life, it’s a lonely life

    But everything will be alright

     

    Hey love where you goin’ to now?

     

    (Chorus)

     

    And you’re a part of that. (X)

     

    Smile (Josh Groban) - Chandler Sings An Uplifting Song

     

    Smile tho' your heart is aching

    Smile even tho' it's breaking

    When there are clouds in the sky

    You'll get by

    If you Smile

     

    Thro' your fear and sorrow

    Smile and maybe tomorrow

    You'll see the sun come shin-ing thro' for you

    Light up your face with gladness

    Hide ev-'ry trace of sadness

    Altho' a tear may be ever so near

    That's the time

     

    You must keep on trying

    Smile, what's the use of crying

    You'll find that life is still worth-while

    If you just Smile.

     

    Perfect The Way You Are (Dead by April) - Chandler’s Words At Millennium Park

     

    You have what they don't

    Your heart is true

    So dry your tears

    And let it shine through

     

    'Cause you're amazing

    Look at you smiling

    And don't change anything

    There's no denying

     

    You're beautiful

    You're beautiful

    Don't ever listen to what they say about you

    You're perfect just the way you are

    You will never be anything like them

    And the strength is in your heart, whoa oh, you heart

     

    You're beautiful

    You're beautiful

    You're perfect just the way you are

    You're beautiful

    You're beautiful

     

    Don't put yourself down

    Don't let them win

    (Don't let them win)

    They don't understand

    Who you are

    (Who you are)

     

    'Cause you're amazing

    Look at you smiling

    And don't change anything

    There's no denying

     

    You're beautiful

    You're beautiful

    Don't ever listen to what they say about you

    You're perfect just the way you are

    You will never be anything like them

    And the strength is in your heart, whoa oh, you heart

     

    You're beautiful

    You're beautiful

    You're perfect just the way you are

    Breakdown your walls, whoa oh

    You can be the person you wanna be

    Break down your walls, whoa oh

    Become who you are

     

    You're beautiful

    You're beautiful

    Don't ever listen to what they say about you

    You're perfect just the way you are

    You will never be anything like them

    And the strength is in your heart, whoa oh, you heart

     

    You're beautiful

    You're beautiful

    You're perfect just the way you are

     

    February Song (Josh Groban) - Chandler Sings A Bittersweet Song

     

    Where has that old friend gone

    Lost in a February song

    Tell him it won't be long

    'Til he opens his eyes

    Opens his eyes

    Where is that simple day

    Before colors broke into shades

    And how did I ever fade

    Into this life

    Into this life

     

    And I never want to let you down

    Forgive me if I slip away

    And all that I've known is lost and found

    I promise you I

    I'll come back to you one day

     

    Morning is waking up

    Sometimes it's more than just enough

    And all that you need to love

    Is in front of your eyes

    It's in front of your eyes

     

    And I never want to let you down

    Forgive me if I slip away

    Sometimes it's hard to find my ground

    'Cause I keep on falling as I try to get away

    From this crazy world

     

    And I never want to let you down

    Forgive me if I slip away

    And all I've known is lost and found

    I promise you I

    I'll come back to you one day

     

    Where has that old friend gone

    Lost in a February song

    Tell him it won't be long

    'Til he opens his eyes

    Opens his eyes

     

    I’ll Stand By You (Glee Cover) - Chandler’s Support

     

    Oh, why you look so sad, the tears are in your eyes,

    Come on and come to me now, and don't be ashamed to cry,

    Let me see you through, 'cause I've seen the dark side too.

    When the night falls on you, you don't know what to do,

    Nothing you confess could make me love you less,

     

    I'll stand by you,

    I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,

    I'll stand by you

     

    So if you're mad, get mad, don't hold it all inside,

    Come on and talk to me now.

    Hey there, what you got to hide?

    I get angry too, well, I'm alive like you.

    When you're standing at the cross roads,

    And don't know which path to choose,

    Let me come along, 'cause even if you're wrong

     

    I'll stand by you,

    I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,

    I'll stand by you.

     

    Baby, even to your darkest hour, and I'll never desert you,

    I'll stand by you.

     

    And when, when the night falls on you baby,

    You're feeling all a lone, you're wandering on your own,

    I'll stand by you.

    I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,

    I'll stand by you, baby even to your darkest hour,

    And I'll never desert you,

     

    I'll stand by you,

    I'll stand by you.

    I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,

    I'll stand by you, baby even to your darkest hour,

    And I'll never desert you

     

    I'll stand by you

     

    I Heard You Lost Your Smile (The Broken Beat) - When Brandon Cries

     

    I Heard You Lost Your Smile

    Got lost along the way

    This house, it feels so empty

    I won’t let you stray (X)

     

    For the moment set your mind to rest, son

    Time to take all the pain away

    This is your moment

    So hold on

     

    So dance and lose yourself

    Just fall away

    Oh, take me by surprise and find your place

    Don’t let it end

    As the hours go

    I swear this watch

    Will tell me that you’ll stay

     

    Stay (X)

     

    The hour’s just beginning

    Footsteps, I’ll find their place

    One breath, we’re cleansing two hearts

    With words that keep me safe

     

    The hope is so surrounding

    So make your place in love

    The smoke crawls to the ceiling

    As fears crash to the floor

     

    For the moment set your mind to rest, son

    Time to take all the pain away

    This is your moment

    So hold on

     

    So dance and lose yourself

    Just fall away

    Oh, take me by surprise and find your place

    Don’t let it end

    As the hours go

    I swear this watch

    Will tell me that you’ll stay

     

    So dance and lose yourself

    Just fall away

    Oh, take me by surprise and find your place

     

    So dance and lose yourself

    Just fall away

    Oh, take me by surprise and find your place

    Don’t let it end

    As the hours go

    I swear this watch

    Will tell me that you’ll stay

     

    Stay (X)

     

    So dance and lose yourself

    Just fall away

    Oh, take me by surprise and find your place

    Don’t let it end

    As the hours go

    I swear this watch

    Will tell me that you’ll stay

     

     

    Only The Young (Brandon Flowers) - ‘You are young. There’s always a tomorrow.’ 

     

    Look back in silence

    The cradle of your whole life

    There in the distance

    Losing its greatest pride

    Nothing is easy, nothing is sacred, why?

    Where did the bow break?

    It happened before your time

     

    And there were people there

    Lovely as you'd ever care

    Tonight, baby, you can start again

    Laughing in the open air

    Have yourself another dream

    Tonight, maybe we can start again

     

    Only the young can break away, break away

    Lost when the wind blows, on your own

    Only the young can break away, break away

    Lost when the wind blows, on your own

     

    Mother, it's cold here

    Father, thy will be done

    Thunder and lightning are crashing down

    They got me on the run

    Direct me to the sun

    Redemption, keep my covers clean tonight

    Baby, we can start again

     

    Only the young can break away, break away

    Lost when the wind blows, on your own

    Only the young can break away, break away

    Lost when the wind blows, on your own

     

    And the sun will shine again

    And the sun will shine again

    Are you looking for a sign?

    Or are you caught up in the lie?

     

    Only the young can break away, break away

    Lost when the wind blows, on your own

    Only the young can break away, break away

    Lost when the wind blows, on your own

     

    Only the young can

    Lost when the wind blows

    Only the young can

    Lost when the wind blows

     

    Does Your Mother Know (Gender Bent ABBA Cover from ‘Mama Mia’) - ‘Slow down there Brandon!’

     

    You're so hot, teasing me

    So you're blue

    but I can't take a chance on a kid like you

    That's something I couldn't do

    There's that look in your eyes

    I can read in your face

    that your feelings are driving you wild

    Ah, but boy you're only a child

     

    Well I can dance with you honey

    If you think it's funny

    Does your mother know that you're out

    And I can chat with you baby

    Flirt a little maybe

    Does your mother know that you're out

     

    Take it easy (take it easy)

    Better slow down boy

    That's no way to go

    Does your mother know?

    Take it easy (take it easy)

    Try to cool it boy

    Take it nice and slow

    Does your mother know?

     

    I can see what you want

    But you seem pretty young

    to be searching for that kind of fun

    So maybe I'm not the one

    Now you're so cute, I like your style

    And I know what you mean

    when you give me a flash of that smile (smile)

    But boy you're only a child

     

    Well I can dance with you honey

    If you think it's funny

    Does your mother know that you're out

    And I can chat with you baby

    Flirt a little maybe

    Does your mother know that you're out

     

    Take it easy (take it easy)

    Better slow down boy

    That's no way to go

    Does your mother know

    Take it easy (take it easy)

    Try to cool it boy

    Take it nice and slow

    Does your mother know

     

    Well I can dance with you honey

    If you think it's funny

    Does your mother know that you're out

    And I can chat with you baby

    Flirt a little maybe

    Does your mother know that you're out

     

    Well I can dance with you honey

    If you think it's funny

    Does your mother know that you're out

    And I can chat with you baby

    Flirt a little maybe

    Does your mother know that you're out

     

    Well I can dance with you honey

    If you think it's funny

    Does your mother know that you're out

    And I can chat with you baby

     

    No One Is To Blame (Howard Jones) - Ageless Attractions

     

    You can look at the menu, but you just can't eat

    You can feel the cushion, but you can't have a seat

    You can dip your foot in the pool, but you can't have a swim

    You can feel the punishment, but you can't commit the sin

     

    And you want him, and he wants you

    We warned everyone

    And you want him and he wants you

    No one, no one, no one ever is to blame

     

    You can build a mansion, but you just can't live in it

    You're the fastest runner, but you're not allowed to win

    Some break the rules, and let you count the cost

    The insecurity is the thing that won't get lost

     

    And you want him, and he wants you

    We warned everyone

    And you want him and he wants you

    No one, no one, no one ever is to blame

     

    You can see the summit, but you can't reach it

    It's the last piece of the puzzle, but you just can't make it fit

    Doctor says you're cured, but you still feel the pain

    Aspirations in the clouds, but your hopes go down the drain

     

    And you want him, and he wants you

    We warned everyone

    And you want him and he wants you

    No one, no one, no one ever is to blame

     

    No one ever is to blame

    No one ever is to blame

     

     Last Chance On The Stairway (Duran Duran) - Seduction At The Party

     

    I don't remember quite how I met you

    Wasn't long ago

    I just get a picture of sun in your eyes

    The waves in your hair

    Maybe it's something said in a movie or

    You could've said last night

    Just took me out on a limb

    And I don't really know what I'm doing here

     

    And sometimes I'm caught in a landslide

    My beat's so in time, can you look at me

    I'm out of reach, I'll talk if it feels right

    I've had my last chance on the stairway

     

    Funny it's just like a scene out of Voltaire

    Twisting out of sight

    'Cause when all the curtains are pulled back

    We'll turn and see the circles we've traced

    Ain't no game (ooh)

    When you're playing with fire

    It doesn't seem right that we fight

    So the party runs on all night

     

    And sometimes I'm caught in a landslide

    My beat's so in time, can you look at me

    I'm out of reach I'll talk if it feels right

    So nervous to say, tell me can't you see

    And if you want I'll fall out forever

    I can't say no more, baby dance with me

    And please don't say leave it 'til later

    I've had my last chance on the stairway

     

    Wonder why, (wonder why ooh)

    What makes me rise so high

    Maybe it's something they put in your perfume

    Or the look in your eyes

    It could be the atmosphere sinking

    Ooh, I don't know what you're thinking

    I don't even know what you're drinking

    But it keeps this heaven alive

     

    And sometimes I'm caught in a landslide

    My beat's so in time, can you look at me

    I'm out of reach I'll talk if it feels right

    So nervous to say, tell me can't you see

    And if you want I'll fall out forever

    I can't say no more, baby dance with me

    And please don't say leave till later

    I've had my last chance on the stairway

     

    Last chance on the stairway

    Last chance on the stairway

    Last chance on the stairway

    Last chance on the stairway

    Last chance on the stairway

    Last chance on the stairway

     

     Save A Prayer (Duran Duran) - ‘Save It ‘Til The Morning After’

     

    You saw me standing by the walled corner of a main street

    And the lights are flashing on your window sill

    All alone ain't much fun so you're looking for the thrill

    And you know just what it takes and where to go

     

    Don't say a prayer for me now 

    Save it ‘til the morning after

    No don't say a prayer for me now 

    Save it ‘til the morning after

     

    Feel the breeze deep on the inside look you down into the well

    If you can you'll see the world in all his fire

    Take a chance like all dreamers can't find another way

    You don't have to dream it all, just live a day

     

    Don't say a prayer for me now

    Save it 'til the morning after

    No don't say a prayer for me now

    Save it 'til the morning after

    Save it 'til the morning after

    Save it 'til the morning after

     

    Pretty looking road I try to hold the rising floods that fill my skin

    Don't ask me why I'll keep my promise melt the ice

    And you wanted to dance so I asked you to dance

    But fear is in your soul

    Some people call it a one night stand but we can call it paradise

     

    Don't say a prayer for me now

    Save it til the morning after

    No don't say a prayer for me now

    Save it 'til the morning after

    Save it 'til the morning after

    Save it 'til the morning after

    Save it 'til the morning after

    Save it 'til the morning after (doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo)

    Save a prayer 'til the morning after

    Save a prayer 'til the morning after

    Save a prayer 'til the morning after

    Save a prayer 'til the morning after

    Save a prayer 'til the morning after

    Save a prayer 'til the morning after

     

     Don’t Talk To Me About Love! (Altered Images) - Chandler Takes Greg To Task

     

    They exchanged a look 

    An hour later his voice shook 

    When his whispering died, he cried 

    Never wants to recover, he cried 

     

    Don't talk to me about love 

    (yesterdays shatter, tomorrows don't matter)

    Don't talk to me about love 

    (yesterdays shatter, tomorrows don't matter) 

     

    Since that gaze

    Roaring by went his days 

    When his whispering died, he cried 

    Never wants to recover, he cried 

     

    Don't talk to me about love 

    (yesterdays shatter, tomorrows don't matter)

    Don't talk to me about love 

    (yesterdays shatter, tomorrows don't matter) 

    Don't talk to me about love 

    (yesterdays shatter, tomorrows don't matter) 

     

    (yesterdays shatter, tomorrows don't matter) 

    Don't talk, don't talk to me

    (yesterdays shatter, tomorrows don't matter) 

     

    Don't talk to me about love 

    (yesterdays shatter, tomorrows don't matter)

    Don't talk to me about love 

    (yesterdays shatter, tomorrows don't matter)

     

    It couldn't be that good, although they said it would 

    Just couldn't be that good 

     

    Don't talk to me about love 

    (yesterdays shatter, tomorrows don't matter) 

     

    Be that good 

    It couldn't be that good, although they said it would 

    Just couldn't be that good 

     

    Be be be that good 

     

     Fix You (Anthem Lights Covers Coldplay) - Comforting Brandon

     

    Reprise from ‘Brandon Smiling’ 

     

    Somewhere Over The Rainbow / Wonderful World (Israel Kamakawiwo’ole) - Chandler’s Telephone Lullaby

     

    Ooh, ooh, ooh

    Ooh, ooh

    Somewhere over the rainbow

    Way up high

    And the dreams that you dream of

    Once in a lullaby

     

    Somewhere over the rainbow

    Bluebirds fly

    And the dreams that you dream of

    Dreams really do come true

     

    Someday, I wish upon a star

    Wake up where the clouds are far behind me

    Where trouble melts like lemon drops

    High above the chimney top

    That's where you'll find me

     

    Somewhere over the rainbow

    Bluebirds fly

    And the dreams that you dare to

    Oh why, oh why can't I?

     

    Well, I see trees of green and red roses too

    I'll watch them bloom for me and you

     

    And I think to myself

    What a wonderful world

     

    Well, I see skies of blue and I see clouds of white

    And the brightness of day

    I like the dark

     

    And I think to myself what a wonderful world

     

    The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky

    And also on the faces of people passing by

    I see friends shaking hands saying

    How do you do?

    They're really saying I, I love you

    I hear babies cry and I watch them grow

    They'll learn much more then we'll know

     

    And I think to myself what a wonderful world

    World

     

    Someday I wish upon a star

    Wake up where the clouds are far behind me

    Where trouble melts like lemon drops

    High above the chimney top

    That's where you'll find me

     

    Oh, somewhere over the rainbow

    Way up high

    And the dreams that you dare to

    Why oh, why can't I?

    Ooh, ooh

    Ooh, ooh

     

     You Are Loved (Don’t Give Up) (Josh Groban) - Chandler Sings A Love Song

     

    Don't give up

    It's just the weight of the world

    When your heart's heavy

    I, I, will lift it for you

    Don't give up

    Because you want to be heard

    If silence keeps you

    I, I, will break it for you

     

    Everybody wants to be understood

    Well I can hear you

    Everybody wants to be loved

    Don't give up

    Because you, are loved

     

    Don't give up

    It's just the hurt that you hide

    When you're lost inside

    I, I'll be there to find you

    Don't give up

    Because you want to burn bright

    If darkness blinds you

    I, I will shine to guide you

     

    Everybody wants to be understood

    Well I can hear you

    Everybody wants to be loved

    Don't give up

    Because you, are loved

    You are loved

     

    Don't give up

    It's just the weight of the world

    Don't give up

    Everyone needs to be loved

    You are loved

     

     Ordinary World (Red Covers Duran Duran) - Helping Brandon Out The Other Side

     

    Reprise from ‘Brandon Smiling’

     

     Notbroken (The Goo Goo Dolls) - Chandler’s Iris

     

    All I waited for,

    Was a chance to make you understand

    And tell you these forgotten truths

    You never thought were real

    And if the world should turn it's back, 

    You know that I'm still here

     

    Time won't ever steal my soul

    We're not broken, so please come home

     

    Morning comes, and life moves on

    And when it changed, you didn't know where you belong

    And I'll still catch you when you fall through a past that steals your sleep

    And scrawl these words upon your wall, remind you to believe

     

    Time won't ever steal my soul

    We're not broken, so please come home

    If the world has worn you down

    I'll be waiting, so please come home

     

    I won't let them break you down

    And I won't hear the empty sounds,

    I'm hopelessly pretending that I know the answer

    Angels light the neon fires that burn so cold through your desires

    And all you are is all I need to know

     

    When the world is insane,

    You get used to the pain

    And you don't even know what you feel

    And I was like you,

    All alone and confused

    But you know it's not forever

     

    Time won't ever steal my soul

    We're not broken, so please come home

    If the world has worn you down

    I'll be waiting, so please come home

     

     Talk - Alternative Version (Coldplay) - Brandon Talks To Chandler About Getting Caught

     

    [Verse 1]

    Under the great North star

    Try to work out where you are

    In the silence of the sea

    I don't know where I'll be

     

    [Verse 2]

    In the future, in the past

    Going nowhere, much too fast

    When I go there, go with me

    When I go there, go with me

     

    [Chorus 1]

    Cause I don't know where I'm going and I wanna talk

    I feel like I'm going where I've been before

    And I wanna talk

     

    [Verse 3]

    Take a picture of

    Something that you're not sure of

    Bring it back to show to me

    But I don't know what I see

     

    [Verse 4]

    In the future, find a home

    Getting nowhere on your own
    Got to find your missing piece

     

    [Chorus 2]

    Cause you don't know where you're going and you wanna talk

    You feel like you're going where you've been before

    Nothing's really making any sense at all

    You tell anyone who'll listen but you feel ignored

     

    [Hook]

    Let's talk

    Let's talk

    Do you wanna talk?

     

    [Verse 5]

    I'm up in the part of the throne

    I'm trying to sing a song

    In a language I don't speak

     

    [Verse 6]

    I tried but I can't get through

    I'm trying to get to you

    But you're difficult to reach

    Won't you talk to me?

     

    [Chorus 3]

    So you don't know were you're going and you wanna talk

    You feel like you're going where you've been before

    Let's talk

    Let's talk

     

     Listen To Your Heart (Glee) - Chandler Shows The Way To Do This ‘Gay’ Thing

     

    I know there's something in the wake of your smile 

    I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea 

    You've built a love but that love falls apart 

    Your little piece of heaven turns too dark

     

    Listen to your heart when he's calling for you 

    Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do

    I don't know where you're going and I don't know why, 

    But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye

     

    Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile 

    The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea 

    They're swept away and nothing is what is seems, 

    The feeling of belonging to your dreams

     

    Listen to your heart when he's calling for you 

    Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do

    I don't know where you're going and I don't know why, 

    But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye

     

    And there are voices that want to be heard 

    So much to mention but you can't find the words 

    The sense of magic, the beauty that's been 

    When love was wilder than the wind

     

    Listen to your heart when he's calling for you 

    Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do

    I don't know where you're going and I don't know why, 

    But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye

     

    Listen to your heart when he's calling for you 

    Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do

    I don't know where you're going and I don't know why, 

    But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye

     

     That’s What I’m Here For (Jason Castro) - ‘Thanks’

     

    Goodbye, Los Angeles

    You said with some regret

    I'll do my best to find a way

    To help you to forget

     

    I'm glad you made your way

    Back here, to find a better day

    Seems like you're getting

    A little closer to okay

     

    And if you need someone

    Just to be around

    Help put the pieces back

    That you finally found

     

    That's what I'm here for

    That's what I'm here for

    When you need a little less

    Or you want a little more

    That's what I'm here for

    That's what I'm here for

     

    I heard you saying that

    You're finally feeling free

    Blowing kisses

    To the distant memories

    Lately I've caught you

    Smiling a little more

    You're beautiful

    And I'm all yours

     

    And if you need someone

    Just to be around

    Help put the pieces back

    That you finally found

    That's what I'm here for

    That's what I'm here for

    When you need a little less

    Or you want a little more

    That's what I'm here for

    That's what I'm here for

     

    That's why I can hold you just as long as you'll stay

    I can tell you what no one would ever say

    That it's alright to admit that you were wrong

    Before you know it, all the scars will be gone

     

    That's what I'm here for

    That's what I'm here for

    When you need a little less

    Or you want a little more

     

    When you need someone to find you

    When you're hiding from it all

    That's what I'm here for

    That's what I'm here for

     

     True Colors (Glee) - ‘Time To Fly, Brandon’

     

    Reprise from ‘Brandon Smiling’

     

     The Scientist (Coldplay) - Affirmations and the Long Road Given

     

    Reprise from ‘Brandon Smiling’

     

     As Hard As It Is (Brandon Chandler) - ‘Can things get better?’

     

    I bet you’ll be

    Just what you wanna be

    It’s never easy

    Chasing down your dreams

     

    (Chorus)

    And don’t give up

    You’ll be fine soon enough

    As Hard As It Is

    You’ll make it through

    All of this (X)

     

    Don’t give up (X3)

     

    I know it seems

    Nothing comes easily

    So chase your dreams

    Follow your heart

    You are Everything

    That sets you apart

     

    (Chorus)

     

    You’ll make it through . . .

    You’ll make it through

    All of this

     

    So don’t give up (X3)

     

     Things Can Only Get Better (Howard Jones) - ‘Yes, things always can . . .’

     

    We're not scared to lose it all security throw through the wall

    Future dreams we have to realize

    A thousand skeptic hands won't keep us from the things we plan

    Unless we're clinging to the things we prize

     

    And do you feel scared, I do

    But I won't stop and falter

    And if we threw it all away

    Things can only get better

    Wow wow wow oh, wow wow wow oh oh oh oh

     

    Treating today as though it was the last, the final show

    Get to sixty and feel no regret

    It may take a little time a lonely path, an uphill climb

    Success or failure will not alter it

     

    And do you feel scared, I do

    But I won't stop and falter

    And if we threw it all away

    Things can only get better

    Wow wow wow oh, wow wow wow oh oh oh oh

     

    And do you feel scared, I do

    But I won't stop and falter

    And if we threw it all away

    Things can only get better

     

    (Wow wow wow oh, wow wow wow oh oh oh oh)

    (Wow wow wow oh, wow wow wow oh oh oh oh)

     

     Stay On These Roads (A-ha) - ‘ . . . As long as you stay the course.’ 

     

    The cold has a voice

    It talks to me

    Stillborn by choice

    And it has no need to hold

     

    Old man feels the cold

    Oh baby, don't 'cause I've been told

     

    Stay on these roads

    We shall meet I know

    Stay on these roads

    We shall meet I know, I know

     

    Where joy should reign

    These skies restrain

    Shadow your love

    The voice trails off again

     

    Old, old man feels the cold

    Oh baby, don't 'cause I've been told

     

    Stay on these roads

    We shall meet, I know

    Stay on my love

    You feel so weak, be strong

     

    Stay on, stay on

    We shall meet, I know

    I know

    I know, my love, I know

     

    Feel the cold

    Winter's calling at my home

     

    Stay on these roads

    We shall meet, I know

    Stay on my love

    We'll meet, I know

     

    So stay on

    I know

    Stay my love, stay on

    We'll meet, I know, I know

    Love, I know

  2. There are about a million ways to say those three words “I Love You.”

     

                                            Have you eaten?

                                            Sleep well.

                                            Drive safely.

                                            Grab a coat.

     

    These are some of the ways it’s said in my house.  There are others, not as obvious, but we all know them when we hear them.  

    And it’s not just that way with lovers and spouses, we do it with friends and family too.

     

                                            How are you? Really?

                                            Let me know when you get home.

                                            Let me buy you lunch.

                                            Because you’re family

                                            i’m glad you are in my village.

                                            i’m sorry.

     

    It’s been rocky for my family the last 3 weeks.  i’ve heard, or said, everything i just listed.

    i can’t begin to tell you how important it is to say those things. They are life changing, life affirming phrases.  They can restore faith, hope, and bolster love.

     

    i know that there are other ways to show love.  We see those around us too. A simple hug, fixing a favorite meal, offering a ride to where you need to be, talking with someone in a PM, or by email. i’ve been on the receiving end of many of those during this rough patch as well.  The simple act of reaching out was a show of caring, and it mattered.

     

    How do you show love; how do you say “I love you” without saying it?  No matter how you do it, don’t forget to show and tell people you love them.  

     

     

     

     

     

    no one read or edited this, any mistakes are mine

    many thanks to @MacGreg Sir, @MichaelS36 Sir, and @Mikiesboy for everything

  3. Going through chemo I haven't minded too much the physical changes happening. Well showering when my hair was falling out was a nightmare - very fine hairs that I could feel but not get off.

     

    How others are reacting is getting to me. At work I've had to report two cancer survivors to administration. Both tried to offer me support, before I had announced my cancer. One chose to discuss it in the public bathroom where students were present. The other thought it was a great idea to tell me her horrible experience with the IV port on the day I was getting the port, then the day before my first infusion with it.

     

    There are also all the people wanting to pat me somewhere. I understand the need to touch. But chemo doesn't just kill cancer and hair follicles. It also kills bone marrow cells, the ones making blood cells. So chemo patients get sick and bruise easily. 

     

    Now I have complete strangers wanting to give me blessed or annointed religious objects, while I'm on my cell phone.

     

  4. Mikiesboy
    Latest Entry

    I was out with Michael last week, in a local grocery store and while He was looking at poppadoms ... i wandered off. 

     

    Wow, i found pickled garlic. Pickled garlic if you've never had it, is a wonderful thing. Delicious with a steak, a good sandwich or served with antipasto or just cold cuts. 

    But i digress, this store, which has ideas above its station, had small jars of pickled garlic on SALE for $7.99. I mean if there were two full heads of garlic in there i'd be surprised. The regular price is $10.99.

     

    Mmmm, i wanted some.  But this boy is not paying that price.

     

    Fresh pickles are a glorious food. They are still recognizable as what they were. Cucumber still has it's clean flavour, onions are still aromatic and garlic is garlic just mellower.  I often quickly pickle some red onion to have with burgers or on curry. You only need a few hours, the produce of course, and a few basic ingredients.  Things like mustard seed, fennel seed, whole black peppercorns, red pepper flakes, red or white vinegar and some sugar. 

     

    All those are nice but i often don't have them, well except the peppercorns (always grind your own pepper!!).  So i make the pickling liquid from what i have.. sometimes water, vinegar, pepper and sugar. If i have whole seed mustard i add a bit, or even just some ballpark or Dijon... just a teaspoon or so. 

     

    Pack your sliced onion, or cucumbers or nice garlic (buy the freshest you can find) peeled of course into a heat proof jar. Pour the pickling liquid over the top. Put on the lid and stick it in the fridge.  In a few hours... heaven.  There is a basic recipe below but add a bay leaf and a couple of peppercorns if that is all you have in...

     

    I'd recommend dropping the garlic cloves into a bit of boiling water and cooking for 3 minutes.  Then pack in a heatproof jar. Then add the following to small saucepan and boil until  the sugar disolves. Then pour over your garlic:

     

    ·        ⅔ cup water

    ·        ⅓ cup white or red vinegar

    ·        ¼ cup sugar

    ·        1¼ teaspoons kosher salt

    ·        ½ teaspoon whole black peppercorns

    ·        ½ teaspoon mustard seeds

    ·        ½ teaspoon fennel seeds

    ·        ½ teaspoon crushed red pepper

    Refrigerate the jar(s) for up to a month.

     

    But don't keep it... eat it!!   The above can be used for any pickled vegetable. These need to be in the fridge and eaten. They will not last like your jar of Vlasics !!

     

    Enjoy ... Make your own food!

     

  5. S H E L T ER

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    Recent Entries

    iTvmlYx.jpg

     

    Soundtrack

     

     

     

    Tracks

    1. Only Once Away My Son (Brian Eno) - Main Title: Waking up to the end of the world
    2. Shelter (darkDARK) - The Shelter’s Theme
    3. (Don’t Fear) The Reaper (HIM) - We Could Become Like They Are
    4. Purgatory (Digital Daggers) - The Realities of the Shelter
    5. The Dead Are Dumb (Nothing) -  Not so much . . .
    6. Teenagers (My Chemical Romance) - When in doubt, blame the kids . . .
    7. Wicked Game (HIM) - Finding Love In The Death
    8. The Crow (Hurts) - The Plague Theme
    9. Somebody To Die For (Hurts) - The Truth of Boys and Heroes
    10. Apocalypse (Cigarettes After Sex) - Life Found Where Lips Touch
    11. Your Pain Is Mine Now (Title Fight) - Pain Shared Is Love Found
    12. Soma Dreams (Rhian Sheehan) - Making Out In A Dark Place
    13. No Longer Making Time (Slowdive) - Time Grows Short
    14. Heroes (Depeche Mode Cover of Bowie) - A Man Going To The Wall
    15. Bravado (Rush) - Against All Odds, Odds Against All
    16. Zombie Apocalypse (Base Case) - Battle For The Shelter
    17. Zombie Killer (Rob Bailey and the Hustle Standard) - ‘If They’re Already Dead, You Can’t Call Them Casualties’
    18. Subhuman (Throbbing Gristle) — Descending Into Madness
    19. Whispers (Vancouver Sleep Clinic) - When Walker Speaks
    20. Ruin (So Below) - Nowhere Is Safe
    21. Departure (Hundredth) - Making An Escape
    22. Leave Me Behind (No Sun) - Sacrifices Along The Way
    23. Survive (Chelsea Wolfe) - Finding The Will To Survive
    24. Disintegration (Chromatics) - Looking For A World That Is Gone
    25. The Dead Next Door (Billy Idol) - ‘You and me and the Dead next door’

     

    ———————————————————————————————————————————

    Only Once Away My Son (Brian Eno) - 

    Main Title: Waking up to the end of the world

     

    Apocalyptic Instrumental

     

    Shelter (darkDARK) - The Shelter’s Theme

     

    I keep trying to take Shelter . . .

     

    (Don’t Fear) The Reaper (HIM) - We Could Become Like They Are

     

    All our times have come

    Here, but now they're gone

    The seasons don't fear the Reaper

    Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain

     

    And we can be like they are

     

    Come on, baby... Don't fear the Reaper

    Baby, take my hand... Don't fear the Reaper

    We'll be able to fly... Don't fear the Reaper

    Baby, I'm your man...

     

    Valentine is done

    Here, but now they're gone

    Romeo and Juliet

    Are together in eternity...

    Romeo and Juliet

     

    40, 000 men and women every day...

    Like Romeo and Juliet

    40, 000 men and women every day...

    Redefine happiness

    Another 40, 000 coming every day...

     

    We can be like they are

     

    Come on, baby... Don't fear the Reaper

    Baby, take my hand... Don't fear the Reaper

    We'll be able to fly... Don't fear the Reaper

    Baby, I'm your man...

     

    Love of two is one

    Here, but now they're gone

    Came last night of sadness

    It was clear we couldn't go on

    The door was opened and the wind appeared

    The candles blew and then disappeared

    The curtains flew and then he appeared

     

    Saying, "Don't be afraid"

     

    Come on, baby... And we had no fear

    And we ran to him... Then we started to fly

    We looked backward and said goodbye

    We had become like they are

    We had taken his hand

    We had become like they are

     

    Come on, baby... Don't fear the Reaper

     

    Purgatory (Digital Daggers) - The Realities Of The Shelter

     

    Bleak Instrumental

     

    The Dead Are Dumb (Nothing) -  Not so much . . .

     

    Always try to keep up 

    Always fall behind 

    Belly pains 

    And headaches 

    Inside you 

     

    Isn’t it quite the same 

    And isn’t it such a shame 

    Too heavy for the lightness 

    But weightless in the rain 

    All our words are wasted 

     

    Never fails to fail me 

    Never say never 

    Loathing phase 

    Self-inflicted pain 

    I’d never 

    Oh, I’d never

     

    Teenagers (My Chemical Romance) - When in doubt, blame the kids . . .

     

    They're gonna clean up your looks

    With all the lies in the books

    To make a citizen out of you

    Because they sleep with a gun

    And keep an eye on you, son

    So they can watch all the things you do

     

    Because the drugs never work

    They're gonna give you a smirk

    'Cause they got methods of keepin' you clean

    They gonna rip up your heads

    Your aspirations to shreds

    Another cog in the murder machine

     

    They said all

    Teenagers scare

    The living shit out of me

    They could care less

    As long as someone'll bleed

    So darken your clothes

    Or strike a violent pose

    Maybe they'll leave you alone

    But not me

     

    The boys and girls in the clique

    The awful names that they stick

    You're never gonna fit in much, kid

    But if you're troubled and hurt

    What you got under your shirt

    Will make them pay for the things that they did

     

    They said all

    Teenagers scare

    The living shit out of me

    They could care less

    As long as someone'll bleed

    So darken your clothes

    Or strike a violent pose

    Maybe they'll leave you alone

    But not me

     

    Oh yeah

     

    They said all

    Teenagers scare

    The living shit out of me

    They could care less

    As long as someone'll bleed

    So darken your clothes

    Or strike a violent pose

    Maybe they'll leave you alone

    But not me

     

    All together now

     

    Teenagers scare

    The living shit out of me

    They could care less

    As long as someone'll bleed

    So darken your clothes

    Or strike a violent pose

    Maybe they'll leave you alone

    But not me

     

    Teenagers scare

    The living shit out of me

    They could care less

    As long as someone'll bleed

    So darken your clothes

    Or strike a violent pose

    Maybe they'll leave you alone

    But not me

     

    Wicked Game (HIM) - Finding Love In The Death

     

    The world was on fire, no-one could save me but you

    It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

    I'd never dreamed that I'd need somebody like you

    And I'd never dreamed that I'd need somebody like you

     

    No I don't want to fall in love

    This world is always gonna brake your heart

    No I don't want to fall in love

    This world is always gonna brake your heart,

    with you

     

    What a wicked game to play

    To make me feel this way

    What a wicked thing to do

    To let me dream of you

    What a wicked thing to say

    You never felt this way

    What a wicked thing you do

    To make me dream of you

     

    No I don't want to fall in love

    This world is always gonna brake your heart

    No I don't want to fall in love

    This world is always gonna brake your heart,

    with you

     

    The world was on fire, no-one could save me but you

    It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

    No and I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you

    I'll never dream that I lose somebody like you, no

     

    Now I want to fall in love

    This world is always gonna brake your heart

    Now I want to fall in lust

    This world is always gonna brake your heart,

    with you

     

    Nobody loves no-one

     

    The Crow (Hurts) - The Plague Theme

     

    Golden days 

    Are so far away

    There’s a black rain

    Up above

    Out on the wind 

    You hear her call

    She’s under your skin

    And you drift away

     

    She spreads her wings 

    When she’s gonna fly

    The Crow…

    If you make her sing 

    When she’s coming 

    She will let you know

     

    Her frozen hand

    Takes your breath away

    As she leads your soul

    Through the dark

    You know that she came

    To break your heart

    But on then she moves

    You fall in love again

     

    She spreads her wings

    When she’s gonna fly…

    The Crow

    If you make her sing

    When she’s coming

    She will let you know

     

    She spreads her wings

    And they black out the sun

    You won’t hear her sing

    And she’ll leave

    When the damage is done

     

    Cold heart

    Warm gun

    A dying sun

    Bright eyes

    Black soul

    She’ll never let you go

     

    And she spreads her winds

    When she’s gonna fly…

    The Crow

    If you make her sing

    When she’s coming

    She will let you know

     

    She spreads her wings

    And they black out the sun

    You won’t hear her sing

    And she’ll leave

    When the damage is done

     

     Somebody To Die For (Hurts) - The Truth of Boys and Heroes

     

    I could drag you from the ocean

    I could pull you from the fire

    And when you're standing in the shadow,

    I could open up the sky

    And I could give you my devotion, until the end of time

     

    And you will never be forgotten, 

    With me by your side

     

    And I don't need this life

    I just need . . .

    Oh oh oh

     

    I've got nothing left to live for

    Got no reason yet to die

    But when I'm standing in the gallows

    I'll be staring at the sky

    Because no matter where they take me

    In death I will survive

     

    And I will never be forgotten

    With you by my side

     

    Cause I don't need this life

    I just need

    Somebody to die for

    Somebody to cry for

    When I'm lonely

     

    When I'm staring in the fire

    I will look him in the eye

    And I will let the devil know that 

    I was brave enough to die

    And there's no hell that he can show me

    Deeper than my pride

     

    Cause I will never be forgotten 

    Forever I'll fight

     

    And I don't need this life

    I just need

    Somebody to die for

    Somebody to cry for

    When I'm lonely

     

    And I don't need this life

    I just need

    Somebody to die for

    Somebody to cry for

    When I'm lonely

     

    Don't go gentle into that good night

    Rage on against the dying light

     

     Apocalypse (Cigarettes After Sex) - Life Found Where Lips Touch

     

    You leapt from crumbling bridges watching cityscapes turn to dust

    Filming helicopters crashing in the ocean from way above

     

    Got the music in you baby,

    Tell me why

    Got the music in you baby,

    Tell me why

    You’ve been locked in here forever & you just can’t say goodbye

     

    Kisses on the foreheads of the lovers wrapped in your arms

    You’ve been hiding them in hollowed out pianos left in the dark…

     

    Your lips,

    My lips,

    Apocalypse

     

    Go & sneak us through the rivers,

    Flood is rising up on your knees

    Oh please…

    Come out & haunt me

    I know you want me

    Come out & haunt me

     

    Sharing all your secrets with each other since you were kids

    Sleeping soundly with the locket that she gave you clutched in your fist…

     

    When you’re all alone

    I will reach for you

    When you’re feeling low

    I will be there too

     

     Your Pain Is Mine Now (Title Fight) - Pain Shared Is Love Found

     

    Swept in like a dream

    Drew the sting

    Then I died

    White light trembling

    Shadows bring

    Tears to eyes

     

    Twisted in a summer mist

    Burned alive a while

    Wrestled with your loneliness

    Echoed from a wire

     

    Gatling gun

    Your pain is mine now

    See-through smoke

    Clouds warping around 

    I know you're scared

    Don't cry your eyes out

    Gatling gun

    Under your spell now

     

    Swirling through a tunnel view 

    Tangled in the dark

    Flirting with a kiss of death

    A canopy of stars

    You'll sleep beneath them

    I'm in your room

    I am your nightmare

    I am the moon

     

    Cry

    Die

    Boo hoo

    Boo hoo

     

    Gatling gun

    Your pain is mine now

    See-through smoke

    Clouds warping around 

    I know you're scared

    Don't cry your eyes out

    Gatling gun

    Under your spell now

     

    Gatling gun

    Your pain is mine now

    See-through smoke

    Clouds warping around 

    I know you're scared

    Don't cry your eyes out

    Gatling gun

    Under your spell now

     

     Soma Dreams (Rhian Sheehan) - Making Out In A Dark Place

     

    Light and Sensual Instrumental

     

     No Longer Making Time (Slowdive) - Time Grows Short

     

    Come anyway

    Say you're clean, you like it that way

    You got a new boy

    He keeps it light, you like it that way

    Who cares anyway

    Oh lord I remember the days

    And all those nights

    When you wanted so much more

     

    Honey, don't wait too long

    We're no longer making time

    Forever we'll be

    Together, we breathe

    No longer for too run

     

    Come anyway

    Come on down in your

    Green eyed way

    Comes and it goes

    You come around and I don't know why

    Just lovers and life

    Common ground, Yeah there's no surprise

    Just holding your arms

    Holding on till the fear, It goes

     

    Honey, don't wait too long

    We're no longer making time

    Forever we'll be

    Together, we breathe

    No longer for too run

     

    Who cares anyway

    Oh Lord, I remember those days

    And all those nights

    Holding on till the fear, it goes

     

     Heroes (Depeche Mode Bowie Cover) - A Man Going To The Wall

     

    I, I will be king

    And you, you will be queen

    Though nothing will drive them away

    We can beat them, just for one day

    We can be Heroes, just for one day

     

    And you, you can be mean

    And I, I'll drink all the time

    'Cause we're lovers, and that is a fact

    Yes we're lovers, and that is that

    Though nothing, will keep us together

    We could steal time, just for one day

    We can be Heroes, forever and ever

     

    What d'you say?

    I, I wish you could swim

    Like the dolphins, like dolphins can swim

    Though nothing, nothing will keep us together

    We can beat them, forever and ever

    Oh we can be Heroes, just for one day

     

    I, I will be king

    And you, you will be queen

    Though nothing will drive them away

    We can be Heroes, just for one day

    We can be us, just for one day

     

    I, I can remember (I remember)

    Standing, by the wall (by the wall)

    And the guns, shot above our heads (over our heads)

    And we kissed, as though nothing could fall (nothing could fall)

    And the shame, was on the other side

    Oh we can beat them, forever and ever

    Then we could be Heroes, just for one day

     

    We can be Heroes

    We can be Heroes

    We can be Heroes

    Just for one day

     

    We can be Heroes

     

    We're nothing, and nothing will help us

    Maybe we're lying, then you better not stay

    But we could be safer, just for one day

    Oh-oh-oh-ohh, oh-oh-oh-ohh, just for one day

     

     Bravado (Rush) - Against All Odds, Odds Against All

     

    If we burn our wings 

    Flying too close to the sun 

    If the moment of glory 

    Is over before it's begun 

    If the dream is won -- 

    Though everything is lost 

    We will pay the price, 

    But we will not count the cost 

     

    When the dust has cleared 

    And victory denied 

    A summit too lofty 

    River a little too wide 

    If we keep our pride 

    Though paradise is lost 

    We will pay the price, 

    But we will not count the cost 

     

    And if the music stops 

    There's only the sound of the rain 

    All the hope and glory, 

    All the sacrifice in vain 

    And if love remains 

    Though everything is lost 

    We will pay the price, 

    But we will not count the cost

     

     Zombie Apocalypse (Base Case) - Battle For The Shelter

     

    Dubstep Nightmare

     

     Zombie Killer (Rob Bailey and the Hustle Standard) - 

    ‘If They’re Already Dead, You Can’t Call Them Casualties’

     

    Special forces, black ops

    It won't go down

    On our watch

    Slowmo killin'

    Slowmo killin'

    Battle tested and battle ready

    For the biggest fight of our lives

    (You know we're ready!)

    The few, the proud, the deadly

    Hold strong and hold steady

    It's the zombie apocalypse, boys

    Whole life come to this moment

    This is what I'm made for

    Don't come close cuz' I…

    might not hold back

    might blow the whole place, one match

    I know I won't hold back

    Every mother fxcker going…

    down, down, down, d-down, down

    Every… every mother fxcker going…

    down, down, d-down, down, down-d-d

    Every last one going… DOWN

    I was fxcking made for this

    I'm a ZOMBIE KILLER!

    I WAS FXCKING MADE FOR THIS!

    I'm a ZOMBIE KILLER!

     

    Hours on days

    Load-loading

    Aim-aiming

    High levels of ghost weapon training

    Hand-to-hand combat

    Street warfare (YEAH!)

    We can go there

    Our team is stacked

    We got heros-on heros-on heros

    Fearless

    And we're coming to your area

    Cuz' we're here to SAVE AMERICA!

    Every mother fxcker going…

    down, down, down, down, down

    Every… every mother fxcker going…

    down, down, d-down, down, down-d-d

    Every last one going… DOWN

    I was fxcking made for this

     

    I'm a ZOMBIE KILLER!

    I WAS FXCKING MADE FOR THIS!

    I'm a ZOMBIE KILLER!

     

    Yo… yo

    Hand me that kill, Cliff

    Son, their drainin' my energy

    Out here got me depending on my enemies

    Man, you know what I'm about

    Got that zombie mentality

    Take a zombie head

    And hang it right above my mantle piece

    Snipin' mother fxckers… casually

     

    If they're already dead

    Can't call 'em causalities

     

    In the day I'm all good

    Night i don't lose sleep

    I was fxcking made for this

    A zombie killin' fiend

     

    I was fxcking made for this

    I'm a ZOMBIE KILLER!

    I was fxcking made for this

    I'm a ZOMBIE KILLER!

    I was fxcking made for this

    I'm a ZOMBIE KILLER!

    I was fxcking made for this

    I'm a ZOMBIE KILLER!

    Every mother fxcker going… down

    Every mother fxcker going… down

    This is my entire unit…

    my entire unit

    This is my entire unit…

    right here

    This is my entire unit…

    this is my unit

    This is my entire unit…

    right here

    Slowmo killin'

    Slowmo killin'

    Cuz' we're here to save A…

    Cuz' we're here to save A…

    Cuz' we're here to SAVE AMERICA!

    Every mother fxcker going…

    down, down, down, down, down

    Every… every mother fxcker going…

    (I was fxcking made for this) down, down, d-down, down, down-d-d

    (I'm a ZOMBIE KILLER!) down, down, d-down, down, down-d-d

     

     Subhuman (Throbbing Gristle) — Descending Into Madness

     

    Subhuman Subhuman!

     

    I see you grunting

    I see you grunting

     

    Subhuman Subhuman!

     

    I see you grunting 

    I see you grunting

     

    In the gutter

    In the gutter

     

    Subhuman Subhuman

     

    You're like a virus in my body

    Subhuman Subhuman

     

    Subhuman Subhuman

     

    You're like a virus in my body

     

    Subhuman Subhuman

     

    Subhuman Subhuman

    Drinking dirty water, to make you clean

    Subhuman Subhuman

     

    Subhuman Subhuman

    Subhuman Subhuman

     

    You make me dizzy with your disease

    I want to smash you and feel at ease

     

    Subhuman

    Subhuman

    Subhuman

    Subhuuuuuuuuumaaaaaaaan

     

    Subhuman Subhuman

     

    I see you grunting

    I see you grunting

     

    Subhuman Subhuman!

     

    I see you grunting 

    I see you grunting

     

    You're like a virus, a stinking virus

     

    In the gutter

     

    Subhuman subhuman

     

     Whispers (Vancouver Sleep Clinic) - When Walker Speaks

     

    You lost your purpose quietly

    In the night

    In your eyes

     

    No paving to your heartstrings

    On your own

    Left alone

     

    A silent rush of thunder

    A voice that pulls you under

    A whisper that stole you away

    it all

    We never fought to lose it

    We didn't build to burn this

    You don't have to carry the weight of your sin

     

    We didn't rise to cave in

    We never left for safety

    I will not just age to grow weary and bleed

     

    These burdens brought you crashing

    Under doubt

    Through the ground

    They sealed your lips with silence

    No resistance

    Not a sound

     

    It's worth too much to give in

    You gave it all for this

     

     Ruin (So Below) - Nowhere Is Safe

     

    Know enough to keep above

    Watch you fall back down as we start to run

    I feel it too as it calls to you

    Hit the dark, I will come through

     

    You think you're safe right behind the door

    You think the worst of it happened before

    You're all alone on the highest floor

    What are you waiting for?

     

    This is how it feels

    No use in these tears

    Shadows interfere

    Reach into the clear

    (I take the blame but you never know)

     

    Even out this far

    Who knows where we are

    Never where you start

    We're in the red, in empty air

    Acting up, don't take me there

    If you only knew what I've got to lose

    It's enough that I'm losing you

     

    You think you're safe right behind the door

    You think the worst of it happened before

    You're all alone on the highest floor

    What are you waiting for?

     

    This is how it feels

    No use in these tears

    Shadows interfere

    Reach into the clear

    (I take the blame but you never know)

     

    Even out this far

    Who knows where we are

    Never where you start

    And now

    Even though you drag me down

    I will keep you all around

    And now

    Even though you drag me down

    I will keep you all around

     

     Departure (Hundredth) - Making An Escape

     

    Sad truth

    The judges rule

    On who you used to be

    Not what's new

    Old spark

     

    The flame burns out

    We're not the same

    The smoke pushes out

     

    Was it all just a dream

    Inside a wide-eyed teen?

     

    New order

    Lay it all down

    The old is gone

    Put it in the ground

     

    New order

    Lay it all down

    The old is gone

    Put it in the ground

     

    Departure

    Departure

    Departure

    Departure

    Departure

    Departure

    Departure

     

     Leave Me Behind (No Sun) - Sacrifices Along The Way

     

    Cleanse me in your fire let me feel the burn of your light before i fade away Indefinite and cold as always leave me behind i swear i don’t mind i’ll find my Disguise under the foliage a mask of dirt and leaves for me to hide behind i’ll Disappear hiding in plain sight the earth will swallow me the soil will surround       My skin i won’t be here anymore i won’t be anywhere

     

     Survive (Chelsea Wolfe) - Finding The Will To Survive

     

    you said you won't break my heart

    unless you do

    you said you won't fall apart

    until the end

     

    did we travel all this way

    just to survive

    did you stay another day?

    we could survive

     

    all the sinners and the saints

    move in the same direction

    they walk in place

    until the end

    ramble on this barren place

    we call our home

    dreams of endless landscapes

    morphing, in love

     

     Disintegration (Chromatics) - Looking For A World That Is Gone

     

    The Horror, The Horror, The Horror

     

    The Dead Next Door (Billy Idol) - ‘You and me and the Dead next door’

     

    Watch the sky

    For a reason why

    I'm safe here

    Sunday it was part

    Monday it was none

    Monday was none

    For the dead next door

    One pair of silent terror reins

    And we're the dead next door

     

    The heat of the day fades away

    Fades into the night

    The heat of the day

    Offering a wedding

    Suffering away

    For the dead next door

    You see

    One error, silent terror

    And we're the dead next door

     

    In animal land

    And dark is in command

    One thing you should know

    Don't hear that knocking

    Don't eat out of their hand

    Don't stumble, die

    You say

    Don't stumble, cry

    They see you and me

    You and me

    With the dead next door

    You and me

    With the dead next door

    You and me

    With the dead next door

  6. Now, I generally highly avoid talk of politics, racism, or religion...

     

    HOWEVER...

     

    Let's be real here. China and India have MORE than 1 billion people each in their respective countries, dwarfing just about all other countries.

     

    English is third,  Spanish is second in languages spoken worldwide, and Chinese is FIRST. 

     

    In the US, Caucasians are becoming the minority. They are being vastly outnumbered by those of Hispanic and African lineage. 

     

    WHY is that such a scary thing when most of the children are mixed anyway? When we ALL are technically mixed down the line, anyway???

     

    If we weren't, we would all have quite the medical and mental conditions, wouldn't we? I mean, inbreeding's always been a great risk.

     

    I just feel so disheartened having worked in this kind of environment for so long. 

     

    God doesn't see race, politics, or wealth. 

     

    I grow weary of hypocrites that preach unity when they're the ones in perpetual fear.

     

    Yes, the church provides great help to the community.

     

    They reach out to the poor, they feed the hungry.

     

    But, those in charge are also great cowards.

     

    I will do my best for my community for this, my final year here.

     

    After that, I seriously have to consider if my Faith and core beliefs are worth putting on a facade of support. 

     

    ...and find out just how jaded I am at this point. 

     

     

  7. I'll just quote myself:

     

    Quote

    I might be going to Hastings, Nebraska next month. My best friend's mom has liver cancer, and I'm planning to take her to see her mom. Cancer sucks.

     

  8. northie
    Latest Entry

    My kettle died the other day, just as I was desperate for that morning hot drink. Irritating, but easily solved by buying another one. When my laptop died yesterday evening, that was something else again. Even my not very technical brain could understand something serious had happened from the error messages that appeared on the screen. 

     

    Fortunately it's still under warranty, just. A phone call to the seller's helpline confirmed my suspicion that the hard drive was fried. Great ... It is repairable under warranty but doing anything about retrieving the data would cost me. At this point, I breathed a sigh of relief. Although a lot of my data and photos are synched through my Google account, up 'til a couple of months ago, this didn't apply to my writing. That had to rely on me manually uploading my stories to Drive. Did I do it regularly? No - about every 3 months or so, if I remembered. 

     

    By some coincidence, a previous scare happened at about the same time Google was sending reminders about its new way of synching photos from a pc or laptop. Turns out, this works just as well on designated documents or folders. Phew ... So everything's safely backed up - it's more a question of what happens now.

     

    My laptop will be away for anything up to a month (I hope it's sooner). I do have a older standby; I've spent a lot time in the 24 hours getting it upto date. It is hardly a great replacement, having a useless battery, but more importantly a very poorly lit screen. Better than nothing ... The effect on my current stories have been noted in their respective story topics. I'm taking the opportunity to spend more time writing my antho story.

     

    Hopefully, normally service will be resumed soon.

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    KYhbfBL.jpg

     

     

     

     

    Track List

    ——————————————————

     

    1. I Can’t Help Falling In Love Instrumental (Gian Piero Ferrini) - Love Theme Overture
    2. School Bus (Alex Somers) - Once Upon A Time On A School Bus . . .
    3. Someday My Prince Will Come (Prince Peter Wolf’s Male Version) - Derrick’s Wishing Well
    4. One Song (Vocals By Scott) - The Prince Makes His Appearance!
    5. Too Good for Me (Luke Underhill) - Derrick’s Insecurities
    6. The Gift (Angels & Airwaves) - Derrick’s Most Precious Gift
    7. Can’t Help Falling in Love (Elvis Presley) - The Greatest Love Song For The Greatest Love Story
    8. Go All The Way (The Raspberries) - Talkin’ ‘Bout Makin’ Love!
    9. Who Do You Think You Are? (Jigsaw) - Classism At The Opera House
    10. Suedehead (Morrissey) - Chris’ Lament
    11. I Won’t Be Your Little Secret (Part Time) - Tanner’s Dose Of Reality
    12. Young Love (Moto Boy) - Nothing Will Keep Us Apart!
    13. Palo Santo (Teen Daze) - Going Deeper
    14. The Boxer (Simon & Garfunkel) - I Am Just A Poor Boy . . .
    15. In The End (Linkin Park) - Chris’ Secret Anguish
    16. Revenge (Eurythmics) - The Wrath Of Chris
    17. Say You Love Me (A Flock Of Seagulls)  - Demands Made
    18. Getting Even (White Lies) - Chris’ Cruelty
    19. Stripped (Depeche Mode) - What Can Only Be Given, Cannot Be Taken
    20. Run (Germany Germany) - The Consolations Of Tanner
    21. True (Spandau Ballet) - Truth and Repentance
    22. People Are People (Depeche Mode) - The Beat Down
    23. The Hurting (Tears For Fears) - Which Pain Is Worse?
    24. Close My Eyes And Burn (Robin Guthrie) - Sexual Healing
    25. My Protector (Mesh) - Team Derrick 
    26. Shine (Cyndi Lauper) - Coming Out!
    27. I Just Called To Say I Loved You (Stevie Wonder)  - 2AM Phone Calls
    28. I Think We’re Alone Now (The Birthday Massacre) - Finally Alone Together
    29. Wasted We Stared At The Ceiling (Hammock) - Afterglows
    30. Lifelines (A-Ha) - Never Throw Your Lifelines Away

     

    ———————————

     

    I Can’t Help Falling In Love Instrumental (Gian Piero Ferrini) - Love Theme Overture

     

    Tender instrumental refrain of the main love theme.

     

    School Bus (Alex Somers) - Once Upon A Time On A School Bus . . .

     

    Anticipatory interlude.

     

    Someday My Prince Will Come (Prince Peter Wolf’s Male Version) - Derrick’s Wishing Well

     

    Someday my prince will come

    Someday we'll meet again

    And away to his castle we'll go

    To be happy forever I know

     

    Someday when spring is here

    We'll find our love anew

    Though he’s far away

    I’ll find my love someday 

    Someday when my dreams come true

     

    One Song (Vocals By Scott) - The Prince Makes His Appearance!

     

    One Song

    I have but one song

    One song

    Only for you

     

    One heart

    Tenderly beating

    Ever entreating

    Constant and true

     

    One love

    That has possessed me

    One love

    Thrilling me through

     

    One song

    My heart keeps singing

    Of one love

    Only for you

     

    Too Good For Me (Luke Underhill) - Derrick’s Insecurities

     

    You make my arm melt and you make it drop

    You make it shake and you make it stop

    Yet I know you’re Too Good For Me 

    But, I think it’s meant to be

     

    I love your life and the way your lips curl

    You’ve got the eyes that are out of this world

    Yet, I know you’re Too Good For Me 

    But, I feel it’s meant to be

     

    (Chorus)

    I shouldn’t like you I admit that it’s wrong

    Don’t want to lose you so I have to be strong

    You know I’m happy being your best friend

    I don’t ever want this to end

    Oh no, I never want this to end

     

    It drives me crazy that I can’t hold your hand

    At the beach we wrote our names in the sand

    Yet, I know you’re Too Good For Me 

    But, I hope it’s meant to be

     

    When we drive we tend to sing the same songs

    Through the years you’ve even righted my wrongs

    Yet, I know you’re Too Good For Me 

    But, I know it’s meant to be

     

    (Chorus)

    (An Insecure Bridge)

     

    (Chorus) X

     

    Oh no, I never want this to end (X)

     

    The Gift (Angels & Airwaves) - Derrick’s Most Precious Gift

     

    There's the strangest excitement today

    If you're awake then you're welcome to hear

    I got a gift and it blew me away

    From the far eastern sea, straight to here

     

    Oh god, I feel like I'm in for it now

    It's like the rush has gone straight to my brain

    God, my voice is as lonely as loud

    As I whisper the joy of this pain

     

    And suddenly

    You've done it all

    You've won me over

    In no time at all

     

    And now, I'll stop the storm if it rains

    I'll light a path far from here

    I'll make your fear melt away

    And the world we know disappear

     

    If you ask I will do what you say

    All we have is this night to get though

    With the taste of the smile you're only

    You left me all up in arms and confused

     

    Oh God, I feel like I'm in for it now

    And how this kiss will be one, roughly vague

    I swear I'll melt if you touch me at all

    And then I'll ask you to do it again and again

     

    And suddenly

    You've done it all

    You've won me over

    In no time at all

     

    And now, I'll stop the storm if it rains

    I'll light up a path far from here

    I'll make your fear melt away

    And the world that we know disappear

     

    I'll stop the storm if it rains

    I'll light a path far from here

    I'll make your fear melt away

    And the world we know disappear

     

    Oh, ohoh, ohoh, ohoh, yeah

    Oh, ohoh, ohoh, ohoh, yeah

    Oh, ohoh, ohoh, ohoh, yeah

    Oh, ohoh, ohoh, ohoh, yeah

     

    And now, I'll stop the storm if it rains

    I'll light a path far from here

    I'll make your fear melt away

     

    And the world that we know disappear

    I'll stop the storm if it rains

    I'll light a path far from here

    I'll make your fear melt away

     

    And the world we know disappear

    Make world we know disappear

     

    Oh, ohoh, ohoh, ohoh, yeah

    Oh, ohoh, ohoh, ohoh, yeah

    Oh, ohoh, ohoh, ohoh, yeah

    Oh, ohoh, ohoh, ohoh, yeah

     

    Can’t Help Falling in Love (Elvis Presley) - The Greatest Love Song For The Greatest Love Story

     

    Wise men say only fools rush in

    But I can't help falling in love with you

     

    Shall I stay?

    Would it be a sin

    If I can't help falling in love with you?

     

    Like a river flows surely to the sea

    Darling so it goes

    Some things are meant to be

     

    Take my hand, take my whole life too

    For I can't help falling in love with you

     

    Like a river flows surely to the sea

    Darling so it goes

    Some things are meant to be

     

    Take my hand, take my whole life too

    For I can't help falling in love with you

    For I can't help falling in love with you

     

    Go All The Way (The Raspberries) - Talkin’ ‘Bout Makin’ Love!

     

    Ma-ma, yeah, whoo

    Whoo-hoo-hoo

    All right

    Ma-ma-ma-ma, yeah, whoo

     

    I never knew how complete love could be

    Till he kissed me and said:

     

    ‘Baby, please, go all the way

    It feels so right (Feels so right)

    Being with you here tonight

    Please, go all the way

    Just hold me close (Hold me close)

    Don't ever let me go (Don't let me go)’

     

    I couldn't say what I wanted to say

    Till he whispered ‘I love you’

     

    So, please, go all the way

    It feels so right (Feels so right)

    Being with you here tonight

    Please, go all the way

    Just hold me close (Hold me close)

    Don't ever let me go, oh, no (Don't let me go)

     

    Before his love, I was cruel and mean

    Had a hole in the place where my heart should have been

    But now I'm changed, and I feel so strange

    I come alive when he does all those things to me

     

    And he says (Come on)

    Come on (Come on)

    Mm-hmm (Come on)

    Come on (Come on)

    I need you (Come on)

    I love you (Come on)

    I need you (Come on)

    Ma-ma, yeah, yeah (Come on)

     

    Please, go all the way

    It feels so right (Feels so right)

    Being with you here tonight

    Please, go all the way

    Just hold me close (Hold me close)

    Don't ever let me go, oh, no (Don't let me go)

     

    Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

    Oh

    Ma-ma-ma, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, ooh

    Go all the way, yeah

    Whoo-hoo

     

    Who Do You Think You Are? (Jigsaw) - Classism At The Opera House

     

    Who am I?

    I’m just a guy who only wants

    To try to do what's right

    I'll never make you cry

    But, you're no good to me

     

    Who do you think you are?

    You tried to push me a bit too far

    And every day sees another scar

    Oh baby, who do you think you are?

    If you want me there, you gotta care!

    Oh tell me:

     

    Who do you think you are

    Taking advantage of me this way?

    Who do you think you are

    Hurting me more with the things you say?

    Its not fair! You don’t care!

    Who do you really think that you are?

     

    Where are we? (where are we?)

    We're at the cross roads and

    I just can't see

    Which road to take to keep you

    Here with me (here with me)

    The lights are changing, baby

    Who do you think you are?

    You tried to push me a bit too far

    And every day sees another scar

    Oh baby, who do you think you are?

    If you want me there, you gotta care!

    Oh tell me:

     

    Who do you think you are

    Taking advantage of me this way?

    Who do you think you are

    Hurting me more with the things you say?

    Its not fair! You don’t care!

     

    Who do you really think that you are?

    Who do you think you are? (Who am I?)

    Oh baby, who do you think you are?

    (I'm just a guy who only)

    Who do you think you are?

    (Wants to try)

    Oh tell me, who do you think you are?

    (To do what's right and never)

    Who do you think you are?

    (Make you cry)

    Oh tell me, who do you think you are?

    (But you're no good and baby)

    Who do you think you are?

    (Where are we?)

    Oh tell me, who do you think you are?

    (We're at the cross roads)

    Who do you think you are?

    (and I just can't see)

    Oh tell me, who do you think you are?

     

    Suedehead (Morrissey) - Chris’ Lament

     

    Why do you come here?

    And why, oh why do you hang around?

     

    I'm so sorry, oh...

    I'm so sorry, oh, oh...

     

    Why do you come here

    When you know it makes things hard for me?

    When you know, oh

    Why do you come?

     

    (Derrick’s Questions

    ‘Why do you telephone?

    And why, why send me silly notes?’)

     

    I'm so sorry

    I'm so sorry, oh...

     

    Why do you come here

    When you know it makes things hard for me?

    When you know, oh

    Why do you come?

     

    You had to sneak into my room

    'just' to read my diary

    "oh, it was just to see, just to see"

    (all the things you knew i'd written about you...)

    And oh so many illustrations

     

    Oh, but

    I'm so very sickened

    Oh, I am so sickened now

     

    Still, it was a good lay, good lay

    It was a good lay, good lay

    It was a good lay, good lay

     

    Ah...

    Still, it was a good lay, good lay

    It was a good lay, good lay

    It was a good lay, good lay

     

    A good lay, ah...

    Oh, it was a good lay

    It was a good lay

    It was a good lay

    Oh, it was a good lay

    Good lay, good lay

    Oh

     

    I Won’t Be Your Little Secret (Part Time) - Tanner’s Dose Of Reality

     

    I'm a little secret

    Oh boy, it's hurting me

    And if I

    Told the world what I was thinking

    It'll set you free

     

    And I can't be your shadow

    No you can't hide me

    I would tip-toe

    Around your window

    So no one can see

     

    Oh no, I won't be your little secret

    Oh boy, 'cause it's hurting me

    And if I told your friends

    What you were doing

    It'll set you free

     

    And I won't be your shadow

    No you can't hide me

    You can't hide me for the rest of your life

    You've got to set me free

     

    Tell me what you want

    To set me free

    Tell me what you need

    To believe in me

    Wasted time

    Wasted time

    Wasted time

    Please, don't waste my time

     

    Oh no, I won't be your little secret

    Oh boy, 'cause it's hurting me

    And if I told the world

    What you were doing

    It'll set you free

     

    And I won't be your shadow

    No you can't hide me

    You can't hide me for the rest of your life

    You've got to set me free

     

    Little Secret, Little Secret

    I can’t be your little secret

     

    Little Secret ...

     

    Young Love (Moto Boy) - Nothing Will Keep Us Apart!

     

    Young hearts light their own funeral pyres 

    A wild fire the hearts always keen to endure

    And I know the yearning will always remain

    And I know I'll always be asking for more

     

    And it wont let me go

     

    Young love burning a hole in my heart

    Young love burning a hole in my heart

    Find me and take me where my love belongs

    Burn me! I want it cause my love is young

     

    They asked me what do you think you will find?

    And I replied "I don't know but it's something divine"

    And it wont let me go

     

    Young love burning a hole in my heart

    Young love burning a hole in my heart

    Find me and take me where my love belongs

    Burn me! I want it cause my love is young

     

    I always wanted a bittersweet heart

    It seems it was already there from the start

     

    And it wont let me go

     

    Young love burning a hole in my heart

    Young love burning a hole in my heart

    Find me and take me where my love belongs

    Burn me! I want it cause my love is young

     

    Hold me and hurt me 

    Love and avert me

     

    Palo Santo (Teen Daze) - Going Deeper

    Sensual Instrumental

     

    The Boxer (Simon & Garfunkel) - I Am Just A Poor Boy . . .

     

    I am just a poor boy

    Though my story's seldom told

    I have squandered my resistance

    For a pocket full of mumbles, such are promises

    All lies and jests

    Still a man hears what he wants to hear

    And disregards the rest

     

    When I left my home and my family

    I was no more than a boy

    In the company of strangers

    In the quiet of the railway station

    Running scared,

    Laying low, seeking out the poorer quarters

    Where the ragged people go

    Looking for the places

    Only they would know

     

    Lie la lie, lie la la la lie lie

    Lie la lie, lie la la la la lie la la lie

     

    Asking only workman's wages

    I come looking for a job

    But I get no offers

    Just a come-on from the whores

    On Seventh Avenue

    I do declare

    There were times when I was so lonesome

    I took some comfort there, le le le le le le le

     

    Lie la lie, lie la la la lie lie

    Lie la lie, lie la la la la lie la la lie

     

    Then I'm laying out my winter clothes

    And wishing I was gone

    Going home

    Where the New York City winters

    Aren't bleeding me

    Leading me

    To going home

     

    In the clearing stands a boxer

    And a fighter by his trade

    And he carries the reminders

    Of ev'ry glove that laid him down

    Or cut him till he cried out

    In his anger and his shame

    "I am leaving, I am leaving"

    But the fighter still remains, mmm mmm

     

    Lie la lie, lie la la la lie lie

    Lie la lie, lie la la la la lie la la lie

    Lie la lie, lie la la la lie lie

    Lie la lie, lie la la la la lie la la lie

    Lie la lie, lie la la la lie lie

    Lie la lie, lie la la la la lie la la lie

    Lie la lie, lie la la la lie lie

    Lie la lie, lie la la la la lie la la lie

    Lie la lie, lie la la la lie lie

    Lie la lie, lie la la la la lie la la lie

    Lie la lie, lie la la la lie lie

    Lie la lie, lie la la la la lie la la lie

    Lie la lie, lie la la la lie lie

    Lie la lie, lie la la la la lie la la lie

    Lie la lie, lie la la la lie lie

    Lie la lie, lie la la la la lie la la lie

     

    In The End (Linkin Park) - Chris’ Secret Anguish

     

    It starts with

    One thing, I don't know why

    It doesn't even matter how hard you try

    Keep that in mind

    I designed this rhyme to explain in due time

    All I know

    Time is a valuable thing

    Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings

    Watch it count down to the end of the day

    The clock ticks life away

    It's so unreal

    Didn't look out below

    Watch the time go right out the window

    Trying to hold on, but didn't even know

    I wasted it all just to watch you go

    I kept everything inside

    And even though I tried, it all fell apart

    What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when

     

    I tried so hard and got so far

    But in the end, it doesn't even matter

    I had to fall to lose it all

    But in the end, it doesn't even matter

     

    One thing, I don't know why

    It doesn't even matter how hard you try

    Keep that in mind

    I designed this rhyme to remind myself how I tried so hard

    In spite of the way you were mocking me

    Acting like I was part of your property

    Remembering all the times you fought with me

    I'm surprised it got so far

    Things aren't the way they were before

    You wouldn't even recognize me anymore

    Not that you knew me back then

    But it all comes back to me in the end

    You kept everything inside

    And even though I tried, it all fell apart

    What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when

     

    I tried so hard and got so far

    But in the end, it doesn't even matter

    I had to fall to lose it all

    But in the end, it doesn't even matter

     

    I've put my trust in you

    Pushed as far as I can go

    For all this, there's only one thing you should know

     

    I've put my trust in you

    Pushed as far as I can go

    For all this, there's only one thing you should know

     

    I tried so hard and got so far

    But in the end, it doesn't even matter

    I had to fall to lose it all

    But in the end, it doesn't even matter

     

    Revenge (Eurythmics) - The Wrath Of Chris

     

    He said Revenge can be so sweet

    I like to take it when I can

    I need to play with the ones I hate

    I like to see them suffer

     

    It has to be dangerous

    It has to be refined

    It has to be skilful

    You need to take your time

     

    He said, "You gotta snake”

    And that's a good example

    You don't even notice it until you're bitten,

    You learn to enjoy it

     

    It has to be dangerous

    It has to be refined

    It has to be skilful

    You need to take your time

     

    He said I take care

    Of my resources

    You never know

    When you might need them

     

    I'm fast and I'm strong

    My reflexes are good

    It doesn't take long

    To achieve my deserved 

     

    Revenge

     

    I like to play with the ones I hate

    I really like to see them suffer

     

    Revenge

     

     Say You Love Me (A Flock Of Seagulls)  - Demands Made

     

    Say you love me 

    Come on say you do

    Say you need me 

    Just like i need you

    It's in your eyes 

    I know it’s in your smile

     

    Say you love me 

    If only for a while

    Won't waste my time 

    On other love

    If you were mine

     Lord above

     

    I still remember 

    When our eyes first met

    There's something about you

    That i just can't forget

    You made my heart 

    Into an open door

     

    Say you need me

    Can't take it anymore

    Don't waste your time 

    On other love

    When you are mine

    Lord above

     

    My heart's been tossed like a ship on the ocean

    I'm beaten and driven on waves of emotion

    That carry me carry me carry me

    On to your shore

     

    You stand like a statue of pure alabaster

    Surrounded by sirens on rocks of disaster

    They're calling me calling me calling me

    Into your heart 

    Where i'm torn apart

     

    Say you love me

    Come on say you do

    Say you need me

    Don't treat me like a fool

    It's in your eyes

    I know it's in your touch

     

    Say you love me

    Say you love me

    Say you love me!

     

     Getting Even (White Lies) - Chris’ Cruelty

     

    So if you go

    And leave recklessly

    We can only be me

    We can only be me

    That's something I

    Through the turns of my life

    Never wanted to be

    Never wanted to be

     

    But if you stay

    Just a bolt in the ball

    Then you'll never know

    Then you'll never know

    How you could miss

    Like the day light the way

    You're missing us now

    You're missing us now

     

    So listen to some reason

    There's nothing in your dreams

    But if you're getting even

    You're getting even

    Trying to get even

    Better start believing

    I can forgive

    And we can forget

    Even after all this

    Love and other nonsense we've made

     

    Now if we kiss

    Then the moon in the sky

    We'd linger a while

    We linger a while

    So ask to give just an inch more of night

    But you break from my life

    No more kiss, no more I

     

    But listen to some reason

    There's nothing in your dreams

    But if you're getting even

    You're getting even

    Trying to get even

    Better start believing

    I can forgive

    And we can forget

    Even after all this wrestling of conscience

    I can forgive

    And we can forget

    Even after all this

    Love and other nonsense

     

    It's the worst part of the best of me, best of me

    Love, I'm trying so hard to be free

    Worst of the best of me, best of me

    Love, I'm trying so hard to be free

    Lonely but free

    And out of love

     

    If you're getting even

    You're getting even

    If you're getting even

    You're getting even

     

    If you're getting even

    You're getting even

    Trying to get even

    Better start believing

    I can forgive

    And we can forget

    Even after all this wrestling of conscience

    I can forgive

    And we can forget

    Even after all this

    Love and other nonsense

    You're getting even

    You're getting even

    And I can forgive

    And we can forget

    You're getting even

    You're getting even

    And I can forgive

    And we can forget

    You're getting even

    You're getting even

    And I can forgive

    And we can forget

    You're getting even

    You're getting even

    (And I can forgive)

    (And we can forget)

    (You're getting even)

     

     Stripped (Depeche Mode) - What Can Only Be Given, Cannot Be Taken

     

    Come with me

    Into the trees

    We'll lay on the grass

    And let the hours pass

     

    Take my hand

    Come back to the land

    Let's get away

    Just for one day

     

    Let me see you

    Stripped down to the bone

    Let me see you

    Stripped down to the bone

     

    Metropolis

    Has nothing on this

    You're breathing in fumes

    I taste when we kiss

     

    Take my hand

    Come back to the land

    Where everything's ours

    For a few hours

     

    Let me see you

    Stripped down to the bone

    Let me see you

    Stripped down to the bone

     

    Let me hear you

    Make decisions

    Without your television

    Let me hear you speaking

    Just for me

     

    Let me see you

    Stripped down to the bone

     

    Let me hear you speaking

    Just for me

     

    Let me see you

    Stripped down to the bone

     

    Let me hear you crying

    Just for me

     

     Run (Germany Germany) - The Consolations Of Tanner

     

    Why can’t I get through

    To the other side of you?

    And it’s true that I still can’t forget

    And it’s true that I’ve still got regrets

     

    I try to follow you

    Through the undertow, but I could not break through

    I took the last few seconds of life that I had

    And spent it in a moment inside of my head

    I took the last few seconds of life that I had

    And spent it on a moment

    And spent it on a moment

     

    (Chorus)

    Why do you Run away

    From everything that makes you afraid?

     

    (Bridge)

    (Chorus) X

     

    True (Spandau Ballet) - Truth and Repentance

     

    So True funny how it seems 

    Always in time, but never in line for dreams 

    Head over heels when toe to toe 

    This is the sound of my soul, 

    This is the sound 

    I bought a ticket to the world, 

    But now I've come back again 

    Why do I find it hard to write the next line 

    Oh I want the truth to be said 

     

    Huh huh huh hu-uh huh 

    I know this much is True 

    Huh huh huh hu-uh huh 

    I know this much is True 

     

    With a thrill in my head and a pill on my tongue 

    Dissolve the nerves that have just begun 

    Listening to Marvin (all night long) 

    This is the sound of my soul, 

    This is the sound 

     

    Always slipping from my hands, 

    Sand's a time of its own 

    Take your seaside arms and write the next line 

    Oh I want the truth to be known 

     

    Huh huh huh hu-uh huh 

    I know this much is True 

    Huh huh huh hu-uh huh 

    I know this much is True 

     

    I bought a ticket to the world, 

    But now I've come back again 

    Why do I find it hard to write the next line 

    Oh I want the truth to be said 

     

    Huh huh huh hu-uh huh 

    I know this much is True 

    Huh huh huh hu-uh huh 

    I know this much is True 

     

    This much is True 

    I know, I know, I know this much is True

     

    People Are People (Depeche Mode) - The Beat Down

     

    People are people so why should it be

    You and I should get along so awfully

     

    So, we're different colours

    And we're different creeds

    And different people have different needs

    It's obvious you hate me

    Though I've done nothing wrong

    I never even met you

    So what could I have done

     

    I can't understand

    What makes a man

    Hate another man

    Help me understand

     

    People are people so why should it be

    You and I should get along so awfully

     

    Help me understand

    Now you're punching and you're kicking

    And you're shouting at me

    I'm relying on your common decency

    So far it hasn't surfaced

    But I'm sure it exists

    It just takes a while to travel

    From your head to your fist

     

    I can't understand

    What makes a man

    Hate another man

    Help me understand  . . .

     

    (People are People . . .)

     

     The Hurting (Tears For Fears) - Which Pain Is Worse?

     

    Is it an horrific dream

    Am I sinking fast

    Could a person be so mean

    As to laugh and laugh

    On my own

    Could you ease my load

    Could you see my Pain

    Could you please explain

    The Hurting

     

    Could you understand a child

    When he cries in Pain

    Could you give him all he needs

    Or do you feel the same

    All along

    You've been told you're wrong

    When you felt it right

    And you're left to fight

    The Hurting

     

    Get in line with the things you know

    Feel the Pain

    Feel the sorrow

    Touch the hurt and don't let go

    Get in line with the things you know

    Learn to cry

    Like a baby

    Then The Hurting won't come back

     

    Is it an horrific dream . . . ?

     

     Close My Eyes And Burn (Robin Guthrie) - Sexual Healing

     

    Deeply Sensual Instrumental

     

     My Protector (Mesh) - Team Derrick 

     

    I didn't see

    Who protects me

    But, I'm all that I could be

    Time rushes by

    More than we like

    But, I've all the love I need

     

    You're my protector, my home

    I'm nothing without you

    You're my deflector, I know

    That nothing can get through

    You feel the feelings for me

    So I don't have to face the things I do.

     

    Life's changing scenes

    Played behind screens

    We're all someone's hopes and dreams

    Caught in the lights

    You still have the fight

    When you're taught to do things right

     

    You're my protector, my home

    I'm nothing without you

    You're my deflector, I know

    That nothing can get through

    You feel the feelings for me

    So I don't have to face the things I do.

     

    All my life you shield me from the game

    You're my spine, but I've never been ashamed

    They don't see and I just can't explain

    You've my protector, you're mine forever

     

    You're my protector, my home

    I'm nothing without you

    You're my deflector, I know

    That nothing can get through

    You feel the feelings for me

    So I don't have to face the things I do.

    So I don't have to face the things I do.

     

    Shine (Cyndi Lauper) - Coming Out!

     

    Shine I'll stand by you

    Don't try and push me away

    'Cause I'm just gonna stay

    You can Shine I won't deny you

    And don't be afraid it'll all be ok

     

    Do you know my name

    Well I ain't gonna take

    That big time line

    Won't be beat by a lie

    Gonna call out to these embers

    Waiting to ignite

    Gonna pull you up

    By your love, by your love

    And tell you

     

    Shine I'll stand by you...

     

    I can see the frown you wear

    All around like some faded crown

    Like a watch over wound

    Gonna call down to this diamond

    Buried underground

    Gonna pull you up

    By your love, by your love

    And tell you

     

    When it's said and done

    What you need will come

    And time won't let me

    Let you let me waste it this time

    Shine...

     

    I Just Called To Say I Loved You (Stevie Wonder)  - 2AM Phone Calls

     

    No New Year's Day to celebrate

    No chocolate covered candy hearts to give away

    No first of spring, no song to sing

    In fact here's just another ordinary day

     

    No April rain

    No flowers bloom

    No wedding Saturday within the month of June

    But what it is, is something true

    Made up of these three words that I must say to you

     

    I just called to say I love you

    I just called to say how much I care

    I just called to say I love you

    And I mean it from the bottom of my heart

     

    No summer's high

    No warm July

    No harvest moon to light one tender August night

    No autumn breeze

    No falling leaves

    Not even time for birds to fly to southern skies

     

    No Libra sun

    No Halloween

    No giving thanks to all the Christmas joy you bring

    But what it is, though old so new

    To fill your heart like no three words could ever do

     

    I just called to say I love you

    I just called to say how much I care, I do

    I just called to say I love you

    And I mean it from the bottom of my heart

     

    I just called to say I love you

    I just called to say how much I care, I do

    I just called to say I love you

    And I mean it from the bottom of my heart, of my heart, of my heart

     

    I Think We’re Alone Now (The Birthday Massacre) - Finally Alone Together

     

    Children behave,

    That's what they say when we're together.

    And Watch how you play,

    They don't understand, And so we're

     

    Running just as fast as we can,

    Holding onto one another's hand

    Trying to get away into the night.

    And then I put my arms around you,

    And you tumbled to the ground

    And then I say

     

    I think we're alone now,

    There doesn't seem to be anyone around.

    I think we're alone now,

    The beating of your heart is the only sound.

     

    Look at the way,

    I gotta hide what I'm doin'.

    'Cause what would they say,

    If they ever knew, and so we're,

     

    Running just as fast as we can,

    Holding onto one another's hand

    Trying to get away into the night.

    And then I put my arms around you,

    And you tumbled to the ground

    And then I say

     

    I think we're alone now,

    There doesn't seem to be anyone around.

    I think we're alone now,

    The beating of your heart is the only sound.

    I think we're alone now, (alone now)

    There doesn't seem to be anyone around.

    I think we're alone now, (alone now)

    The beating of your heart is the only sound.

     

    Running just as fast as we can,

    Holding onto one another's hand

    Trying to get away into the night.

    And then I put my arms around you,

    And you tumbled to the ground

    And then I say

     

    I think we're alone now,

    There doesn't seem to be anyone around.

    I think we're alone now,

    The beating of your heart is the only sound.

    I think we're alone now,

    There doesn't seem to be anyone around.

    I think we're alone now,

    The beating of your heart is the only sound.

    I think we're alone now, (alone now)

    There doesn't seem to be anyone around.

    I think we're alone now, (alone now)

    The beating of your heart is the only sound.

     

    Wasted We Stared At The Ceiling (Hammock) - Afterglows

     

    Weightless

    On a cloud

    Only now

    Air between us

     

    Shapeless

    Off the ground

    Coming down

    Into pieces

     

    Wasted,

    We stare at the ceiling

    Wasted,

    We stare at the ceiling

     

    Blameless

    Without fear

    Stars reappear

    We are something

     

    Fearless

    All the years

    Night disappears

    Into nothing

     

    Wasted,

    We Stared at the ceiling

    Wasted,

    We Stared at the ceiling

    Wasted,

    We Stared at the ceiling

    Wasted,

    We Stared at the ceiling

    Wasted,

    We Stared at the ceiling

    Wasted,

    We Stared at the ceiling

     

     Lifelines (A-Ha) - Never Throw Your Lifelines Away

     

    One time, to know that it's real.

    One time, to know how it feels.

    That's all.

     

    One call, your voice on the phone.

    One place, a moment alone.

    That's all.

     

    What do you see?

    What do you know?

    One sign, what'll I do?

    Just follow your lifeline through.

     

    What if it hurts, what then?

    What do we do, what do you say?

    Don't throw your Lifelines away

     

    Don't throw your Lifelines away

     

    One time, just once in my life.

    Yeah one time, to know it can't happen twice.

    One shot on a clear blue sky.

    One look, I see the reasons why you cared.

     

    One chance to get back to the point where everything starts.

    One chance to keep it together,

    Things fall apart.

     

    One sign to make us believe it's true.

     

    What do you see, where do we go?

    One sign, how do we grow?

    By letting your lifeline show.

     

    What if we do, what now?

    What do you say, how do I know?

    Don't let your Lifeline go.

     

    Don't let your Lifeline go. . .

     

     

  9. This morning:

     

    Me:  Okay.  Gonna write.

     

    Brain:  No

     

    Me:  C'mon, I want to finish this.  It's like two or three scenes, let's go.

     

    Brain:  Nope.

     

    Me:  Okay, what about this story?

     

    Brain:  Nope, not feeling it.

     

    Me:  Well, let's work on this story.  Or this one.

     

    Brain:  Nope.  Fuck off.  

     

    Me:  *fumes all day long*

     

    An hour before I have to go to bed:

     

    Brain:  Hey, let's write about this new idea!  

     

    Me:  :facepalm:

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    Recent Entries

    A while back @droughtquake posted the question: why don’t readers comment on stories? This blog is not an answer to that question, but was inspired by the forum post. This website is an archive of authors work going back almost a generation. It is also unique in giving you the ability to search that archive using many and varied criteria. And that is how I became an explorer, travelling the dusty shelves to seek out those long forgotten books. The site itself has nothing very much about its history or the lives of its authors and founders, but it offers up a rather unmissable chance to wander through its repository.

     

    rsz_1001004002813055.jpg.e31b13280da60cecf9342918fe7072e2.jpg

    I started my journey using some simple criteria revolving around stories without comments. I found a number, some thirty-eight stories of over twenty thousand words (a novella) with no comments. Perhaps, more surprising, there were stories of over one hundred thousand words with hardly a comment, just one comment and reply from the author Harry Anders on his books, the Gypsy Chronicles. My curiosity was piqued, and a little further investigation revealed the biography of this retired Dutch psychotherapist who published this lost work which perhaps first appeared here on GA, his own website has long since disappeared.

     

    I doubt anyone goes on to publish a book without a readership. That assumption is supported by the write up on the bookshop site, it reads: This emotional rollercoaster hints at past lives, spirit helpers, karma, the power of love, and contains several practical psychological concepts. The story is written by a Dutch psychotherapist, specialized in dealing with problem children.

     

    "This was Jack's house, and Harry used to be here all the time. Now he is devastated, and he cries every day because he misses his big friend. Please, sir, will you try to be nice to him and not chase him away? He misses Jack a lot, and we all like him very much..."

     

    The few reader comments quoted are not from this site:

    Your insight is far beyond the common man. A believable story of love, great to read. So much compassion and love...You have put me through the emotional rollercoaster.

     

    A wonderful story. Deep and proper, a masterpiece in its genre. It has brought many tears to my eyes.

     

    You will find the story here on GA: https://gayauthors.org/author/gypsychronicles/ only the first book is complete

    and the paperback on this site: https://www.bol.com/nl/f/little-harry/33793816/#product_specifications

     

    This really is just one interesting discovery amongst what might be many. I stumbled across another book, easily lost in the archive, because it was never marked complete and is thus confined to the void of novels forever in process, and never to be discovered by those of us who like to read a finished work.

     

    One Moonlit Night by Steven Keiths was written back in 2011, at twenty-six chapters and over one hundred thousand words, it sits on the shelves with one comment: I found your story today, and just can't stop reading it. I'm up to chapter 14 and have loved every moment! Keep up the great work!

     

    You have to actually click on the last chapter to realise that chapter twenty-six is the Epilogue, consequently, the book has I’m sure remained hidden. And what of the author? He was with GA for just over three years and disappeared from the site in March 2011. In the same year he had a story published, Folding Sheets, as part of a gay anthology produced by AwesomeDude: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Midnight-Dude-Selected-Readings-AwesomeDude/dp/1466345640   He has other short stories and flash fiction which appear on that site: http://awesomedude.com/stevenkeiths/

     

    Now I’ve only touched the surface and I hope to come back and blog some more, but I also want to take time out to read what I have discovered. If you are inspired, or perhaps, you might know more about these books or their authors, then do please comment here. You can also add your reader comments on the books if you decided to read, and perhaps if a site Administrator reads this, they might like to re-classify One Moonlit Night as complete.

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    About ten or so years back I was doing a fair amount of creative writing and had even put a little of it online. One of my pieces even appeared in the 2007 Fall Anthology "The Rainy Day" here on GA. Then paid work (from which I am now retired), voluntary work (particularly in the LGBT-support field - in which I am still involved) and various other things (such as developing my creative skills in digital photography) all managed to get in the way and I reluctantly decided to put my creative writing on hold. I still maintained my love of the written word and so have still been doing a lot of reading in the intervening years.

     

    A few months back my muse, after she had been on a long holiday to destinations that are unknown to me, decided to pay me a brief visit to tell me that I should start writing again. That prompted me to log back in to GA for the first time in a while and see what was going on with the creative writing community. Although the site itself has certainly changed over the years, it's good to see so many of the old crowd still here - and to even see some names that I recognise from other sites (some of those sites sadly now no longer active). So, after reading some of the stories and poems, I decided to take out Author status again (I say "again" because I am fairly certain I did once have author status - but that probably got removed because of my long hiatus) and see if that would prompt my muse to return again. So in the past week or so I have uploaded a story and a couple of poems - probably really just to try to justify (if only to myself) having that status. But none of them have been new work, just old pieces of mine.

     

    And that's really what's bothering me. I want to write new stuff! I've a couple of ideas that I am playing with. There's two novels that I really should finish that have both been on hold for over ten years. I've over 50k words done on one and 70k on the other, but neither of them are any way near complete, and both have chapters missing (as in I have early chapters, later chapters, but in-between chapters missing - if that makes any sense). I've struggled with both in the past few weeks, but don't seem to be able to move on with either of them. I know some people will suggest that I just start uploading the existing chapters and that that will give me the impetus to complete them. But I tried that on another (now defunct) site 12 years or so back and it didn't work. I just left readers asking me to complete them and I never did. And I don't think it would be at all good of me to do that again to the readers on GA.

     

    There's also a completely new short story (maybe 4k to 7k words if it ever gets written) that's been going round in my head for the past while. I've tried numerous times recently to type it in. But every time I try it just doesn't seem to want to flow. I'll write half a page, read it through, and just not be happy with it. The idea is there! And I'm sure in my head that it is a great idea. But it just doesn't seem to want to leave my head and appear on paper (or on the monitor of my laptop). I sometimes actually finish up with a headache trying to write it. Is it writer's block? Has my muse deserted me again? I have the fucking story in my head! So why can't I write the fucking thing??

     

    I know I could just upload lots of my old stuff on here (and I may well do that with some of my pieces). But I would feel somewhat of a fraud if that's all that I do. If I'm going to call myself an author I feel that I ought to actually be writing some new stuff as well.

     

    Questions:

    • What is the cause of writer's block?
    • How does an author overcome writer's block?
    • O Muse, where art thou?

     

    The piece mentioned in the first paragraph that I wrote for the 2007 Fall Anthology "The Rainy Day" can be viewed here if anybody is even remotely interested. 😉

  10. Hi all

    I have been full of work, so of course to escape that i decided to make a new suggestion. I will finally suggest a single book, and although to be honest the author did wrote a "kind of a series" around the same subject, Alexander The Great rise and rule, it can be a stand alone read. The Persian Boy by Mary Renault, tell as the story of a young boy that captured, made an eunuch and sold as a slave to the King of Persia. After Alexander conquering of the Persian Empire, he becomes Alexander servant and lover. I know many in the gay community might already know this book, but I decided to make it my suggestion because this was a book that always stayed in my mind. My parents have a considerable book selection and I read this book when I was a teenager in high school. I am not sure of the details anymore, I think at that time I already new I was gay, but before I found online fiction or GA, it was actually the first book I read that can be considered a gay story, and it was important for me at the time.

    Hope you guys enjoy it.

     

    image.png.05100dcfd446a6c1445927380aac3d4f.png

     

    PS: these entries don't have to be my suggestions only, you can leave another book suggestion of the featured category in the comments. :*)

     

  11. So as someone who listened to lots of noise from county, folk songs, to modern day stuff, through the seventies and eighties, I believe I have a solid understanding what it sounds like when you got somethin that cripples the peaceful surface of your soul and you love it. Yep that`s heavy metal, from Black Sabbath, Dio, DC, `Tallica, Maiden, Megadeth, Motorhead, Death, Sepultura, Rage against the machine, Soundgarden, Tyrant, Violent force, Overkill, Arch enemy, The scorpions, Slayer, even Marilyn Manson...ring a bell? Hahaha yeah The ultimate noise makers, I like a lot of a lot of genres, but what made the stereotype that all of em are satanists? Is it the lyrics? Or the harsh and beast like sounds? Or was it people like "I wish I could play like that..." ? Not saying that metal is all there is, but I`m kind of interested how it all became evil?

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    B7E90i8.jpg

     

    Music

     

     

     

     

    Track List

    1. Video Killed The Radio Star (Ben Folds Five Cover Of The Buggles) - General Theme
    2. Images Of Heaven (Peter Godwin) - Dream Out Of Reach
    3. Billboard (If I’m Honest) (Jacob Whitesides) - Taken For Granted
    4. Show You (Shawn Mendes) - Not Settling For Second Place
    5. He Likes Boys (Simone Battle) - Lori’s Deal
    6. All Eyes On You (St. Lucia) - Chance Encounters
    7. Shooting Stars (Bag Raiders) - Bridging The Gap
    8. Two Weeks (Grizzly Bear) - Return To Distance
    9. Dazed And Confused (Ruel) - He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
    10. Take On Me (A-ha) - Risk and Reward
    11. Beautiful Soul (Jesse McCartney) - In Love With Your No. 1 Fan
    12. Midnight City (M83) - Dreaming While Awake
    13. Boys Just Want To Have Fun (Team Heartbreak) - Giggles and Gumdrops
    14. Tongue Tied (Geographer) - More Than A Memory
    15. Kiss The Boy (Keiynan Lonsdale) - Momentum
    16. Obvious (CHPTRS) - Something Better, Something Real (Jesse 101 Love Theme)
    17. Touch (Troye Sivan)  - Eight and A Half Minutes
    18. Who We Are (Tristan Prettyman) - The Madness and the Ache
    19. Internet Killed The Video Star (The Limousines) - Counter-Theme
    20. Obvious (Alternate Version) (CHPTRS) - Love Theme Reprise

    ————————————

     

    Video Killed The Radio Star (Ben Folds Five Cover Of The Buggles) - General Theme

     

    I heard you on the wireless back in fifty two

    Lying awake intent at tuning in on you

    If I was young it didn't stop you coming through

    Oh a oh

     

    They took the credit for your second symphony

    Rewritten by machine on new technology

    And now I understand the problems you can see

    Oh a oh

     

    I met your children

    Oh a oh

     

    What did you tell them?

    Video killed the radio star

    Video killed the radio star

     

    Pictures came and broke your heart

    Oh, a, a, a, oh

     

    And now we meet in an abandoned studio

    We hear the playback and it seems so long ago

    And you remember the jingles used to go

    Oh-a oh

     

    You were the first one

    Oh-a oh

     

    You were the last one

     

    Video killed the radio star

    Video killed the radio star

    In my mind and in my car, we can't rewind we've gone to far

    Oh-a-aho oh

    Oh-a-aho oh

     

    Video killed the radio star

    Video killed the radio star

    In my mind and in my car, we can't rewind we've gone too far

    Pictures came and broke your heart

    Put down the blame on VCR

     

    Oh, you are a radio star

    You are a radio star

    Video killed the radio star

    Video killed the radio star

    Video killed the radio star

    Video killed the radio star

     

    Video killed the radio star

    Video killed the radio star

    Video killed the radio star

    Video killed the radio star

     

    Images Of Heaven (Peter Godwin) - Dream Out Of Reach

     

    Nothing is sacred

    So, give me your soul

    Nothing is wasted

    On someone like you

     

    Somebody killed me

    And tore out my heart, my love

    Somebody killed me

    Because of you

     

    And there's nothing I can do

    The media made you

    There's nothing I can do

    'cause you don't exist

    you don't exist

     

    Just images of heaven

    that take me to hell

    Images of heaven

    Of something to sell

    Images of heaven

    Images of heaven

     

    Something possessed me

    An image of you, my love

     

    Video visions

    That play on my mind

     

    Nobody blessed me

    With power to reach, my love

     

    When you're an illusion

    You can still be divine

     

    And nobody believes

    In this new religion

    Yeah nobody believes

    'cause nobody sees

    nobody sees

     

    Images of heaven

    Take me to hell

    Images of heaven

    of something to sell

    Images of heaven

    Images of heaven

     

    Images of heaven

    Images of heaven

     

    And there's nothing I can do

    The camera made you

    There's nothing I can do

    'Cause you don't exist

    You don't exist

     

    Just images of heaven

    that take me to hell

    Images of heaven

    Of something to sell

    Images of heaven

    Images of heaven

     

    Billboard (If I’m Honest) (Jacob Whitesides) - Taken For Granted

     

    Hello

    Where have you been?

    You're about to miss it all

    I would give anything to hear you call

    If I'm honest

     

    Sometimes

    It's all that I can do to keep my head up high

    I'm like a book with empty pages inside

    Cold wind blowing through the window shade

    I'm calling, what else can I say?

     

    I'm like a billboard in the sky

    How many times you passed me by-y-y

    You passed me by

    You're like a blinking neon light

    How many times I bought your lies

    Sometimes I wonder why

    If I'm honest

     

    My life

    It's not as easy as I make you think

    I close my eyes and I try not to blink

    If I'm honest

    Cold wind blowing through the window shade

    I'm falling faster each and every day

     

    I'm like a billboard in the sky

    How many times you passed me by-y-y

    You passed me by

    You're like a blinking neon light

    How many times I bought your lies

    Sometimes I wonder why

     

    Come back, come back

    Please don't leave me all alone

    Come back, come back

    I'm right here

    Come back, come back

    I'm willing if you are

     

    I'm like a billboard in the sky

    How many times you passed me by

    You passed me by

    You're like a blinking neon light

    How many times I bought your lies

    Sometimes I wonder why

     

    I'm like a billboard in the sky

    How many times you passed me by

    Passed me by

    You're like a blinking neon light

    How many times I bought your lies

    Sometimes I wonder why

    If I'm honest

     

    Show You (Shawn Mendes) - Not Settling For Second Place

     

    You can’t walk the streets at night

    You're way too short to get on this ride

    No I'm not, no I'm not, they're tryna tell me that I

    I gotta be home when the street lights glow?

    You can’t watch your TV show

    I will watch what I wanna watch

    No, won’t listen to you, do what I wanna do

     

    And I will walk this road ahead

    One hundred miles on my hands

    Do I need to show you?

    Guess I gotta show you

    And if you don't believe me now

    I'll flip the whole world upside down

    Do I need to show you?

    Guess I gotta show you

     

    Watch me swim across this lake

    Fly through the sky in my Superman cape

    Watch me walk across this wire

    Tip-toe through the coals of a blazing fire

    Watch me fly this kite in the rain

    I’ll jump rope with my ball and chain

    Come by and knock on my house of cards

    If it falls I'll rebuild it from the start

    I won’t listen to you, do what I wanna do

     

    And I will walk this road ahead

    One hundred miles on my hands

    Do I need to show you?

    Guess I gotta show you

    And if you don't believe me now

    I'll flip the whole world upside down

    Do I need to show you?

    Guess I gotta show you

     

    Do I really gotta show you now? Really, really, really, gotta show you now?

    Do I really gotta spell it out? I-T, I spelled it out

    If you really wanna see me now? Watch me walk across the clouds

    I don’t know what you heard about, listen to me yell it loud

    Do I really gotta show you now? Really, really, really, gotta show you now?

    Do I really gotta spell it out? I-T, I spelled it out

    If you really wanna see me now? Watch me walk across the clouds

    I don’t know what you heard about, see that door I'll knock it down

     

    And I will walk this road ahead

    One hundred miles on my hands

    Do I need to show you?

    Guess I gotta show you

    And if you don't believe me now

    I'll flip the whole world upside down

    Do I need to show you?

    Guess I gotta show you

     

    Do I really gotta show you now? Really, really, really, gotta show you now?

    Do I really gotta spell it out? I-T, I spelled it out

    If you really wanna see me now? Watch me walk across the clouds

    Do I need to show you? Guess I gotta show you

     

    He Likes Boys (Simone Battle) - Lori’s Deal

     

    Sexy hair, gorgeous smile

    He's the most perfect guy

    I've come across

    In a while

    Sensitive, real sweet

    He even watches Desperate Housewives

    With me

     

    My heart's beating like a mini drum

    I told my best friends he's the one

    I said I think that I'm in love this time

    They told me something that could change my mind

     

    He likes boys

    Finally now it's all making sense

    He likes boys

    I like this guy but he's on the fence

    He likes boys

    Can't believe this happened again

    He likes boys

    oh oh boys oh oh

     

    Manicured, finger tips

    He dresses like an American Apparel mannequin

    Guess it is kind of odd

    That he's a such a big fan of Lady Gaga

     

    My heart's beating like a mini drum

    I don't believe he will lead me on

    But now I'm startin' to see all the signs

    Is it true? Have I lost my mind?

     

    He likes boys

    Finally now it's all making sense

    He likes boys

    I like this guy but he's on the fence

    He likes boys

    Can't believe it's happened again

    He likes boys

    oh oh boys oh oh

     

    He likes boys

    Finally now it's all making sense

    He likes boys

    I like this guy but he's on the fence

    He likes boys

    Can't believe it's happened again

    He likes boys

    oh oh boys oh oh

     

    I don't think I could take

    This kind of rejection

    I guess it's time to take it in

    My gaydar needs some inspection

    I thought him an me

    Were the perfect we

    I guess I'll move on to plan B

    We both like vintage shopping

    and we both like

     

    Boys

    Finally now it's all making sense

    We like boys

    It's a love story with a twist

    We like boys

    I find a new gay best friend

    He likes boys

    oh oh boys oh oh boys

    We like boys

    Finally now it's all making sense

    We like boys

    It's a love story with a twist

    He likes boys

     

    All Eyes On You (St. Lucia) - Chance Encounters

     

    I will never take back

    The words that I said then

    I will always come back to you

     

    Even in the meantime

    I will always stand by

    A mirror on the shelf

     

    Call you in the nighttime

    Call you in the daytime

    Can't fess up to you

     

    'Cause I hope

    We will never have to take back

    What we said in the night

    I hope that I will always have

    All eyes on you

    Know that I will take what I can

    When you are there standing by

    Soft, spoken in the dead of night

    All eyes on you

     

    I will never take back

    The words that I said then

    I always knew I'd come back to you

     

    Even in the meantime

    I will always stand by

    A mirror on the shelf

     

    'Cause I hope

    We will never have to take back

    What we said in the night

    I hope that I will always have

    All eyes on you

    Know that I will take what I can

    When you are there standing by

    Soft, spoken in the dead of night

    All eyes on you

     

    I hope

    We will never have to take back

    What we said in the night

    I hope that I will always have

    All eyes on you

    Know that I will take what I can

    When you are there standing by

    Soft, spoken in the dead of night

    All eyes on you

    [x3]

     

    All eyes on you

    All eyes on you

     

    Shooting Stars (Bag Raiders) - Bridging The Gap

     

    It's late and I'm awake

    Staring at the wall

    Open up my window

    Head floats out the door

     

    No one else around

    The shimmer takes my eye

    I lift my head

    Blinded by the sky

     

    Feel my weight in front

    Following the sound

    Moves away so fast

    Fall down to the ground

     

    I know there's more to come

    Jump back to my feet

    Now I only see ahead of me

    Chasing down the street

     

    Gave my love to a Shooting Star

    But he moves so fast

    That I can't keep up

    I'm chasing

     

    I'm in love with a Shooting Star

    But he moves so fast

    When he falls then

    I'll be waiting

     

    Two Weeks (Grizzly Bear) - Return To Distance

     

    Save up all the days

    A routine malaise

    Just like yesterday

    I told you I would stay

     

    Would you always?

    Maybe sometimes?

    Make it easy?

    Take your time

     

    Think of all the ways

    Momentary phase

    Just like yesterday

    I told you I would stay

     

    Every time you try

    Quarter half a mile

    Just like yesterday

    I told you I would stay

     

    Would you always?

    Maybe sometimes?

    Make it easy?

    Take your time

     

    Would you always?

    Maybe sometimes?

    Make it easy?

    Take your time

     

    Always

    Sometimes

    Easy

    Time

     

    Dazed And Confused (Ruel) - He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

     

    You came in swinging like Apollo

    I'll be feeling it tomorrow

    No, I ain't seeing straight, hyperventilate

    Knees begin to wobble

    You cut my brakes and hit the throttle

    I couldn't stop it if I wanted

    Dizzy silhouette, makes me break a sweat

    I'm in trouble

     

    Oh, I've been Dazed and Confused

    From the day I met you

    Yeah, I lost my head

    And I'd do it again

    Either I've seen the light

    Or I'm losing my mind

    There's something 'bout you

    That's got me dazed and confused

     

    Dazed

    Dazed and Confused

    Dazed

     

    I bet you know just what you're doing

    You're not the type that's used to losing

    First, you build me up, then with just a touch

    Leave me here in ruins

    Something 'bout your eyes

    I can't even walk in a straight line

    Under the influence

     

    Oh, I've been Dazed and Confused

    From the day I met you

    Yeah, I lost my head

    And I'd do it again

    Either I've seen the light

    Or I'm losing my mind

    There's something 'bout you

    That's got me Dazed and Confused

     

    Dazed

    Dazed and Confused

    Dazed

     

    I don't know if this is real life, real life

    What happens if I open my eyes, my eyes?

    Will I ever get my head right, head right?

    I don't know if this is real life, real life

     

    Oh, I've been dazed and confused

    From the day I met you

    Yeah, I lost my head

    And I'd do it again

    Either I've seen the light

    Or I'm losing my mind

    There's something 'bout you

    That's got me

     

    That's got me Dazed and Confused

    From the day I met you

    Yeah, I lost my head

    And I'd do it again

    Either I've seen the light

    Or I'm losing my mind

    There's something 'bout you

    That's got me Dazed and Confused

     

    Take On Me (A-ha) - Risk and Reward

     

    We're talking away,

    I don't know what

    I'm to say...

    I'll say it anyway:

    Today's another day to find you,

    Shying away.

    I'll be coming for your love, okay?

     

    Take on me (take on me)

    Take me on (take on me)

    I'll be gone,

    In a day or two.

     

    So, needless to say,

    I'm odds and ends.

    But I'll be,

    Stumbling away,

    Slowly learning that life is okay, though

    Say after me,

    "It's no better to be safe than sorry"

     

    Take on me (take on me)

    Take me on (take on me)

    I'll be gone,

    In a day or two.

     

    The things that you say,

    Oh, is it life, or

    Just to blame my worries away?

    You're all the things I've got to remember.

    You're shying away,

    I'll be coming for you anyway.

     

    Take on me (take on me)

    Take me on (take on me)

    I'll be gone,

    In a day or two.

     

    Beautiful Soul (Jesse McCartney) - In Love With Your No. 1 Fan

     

    [Intro:]

    I don't want another pretty face

    I don't want just anyone to hold

    I don't want my love to go to waste

    I want you and your beautiful soul

     

    I know that you are something special

    To you I'd be always faithful

    I want to be what you always needed

    Then I hope you'll see the heart in me

     

    [Chorus:]

    I don't want another pretty face

    I don't want just anyone to hold

    I don't want my love to go to waste

    I want you and your beautiful soul

    You're the one I wanna chase

    You're the one I wanna hold

    I won't let another minute go to waste

    I want you and your beautiful soul

    Your beautiful soul, yeah

     

    You might need time to think it over

    But I'm just fine moving forward

    I'll ease your mind

    If you give me the chance

    I will never make you cry c'mon let's try

     

    [Chorus:]

    I don't want another pretty face

    I don't want just anyone to hold

    I don't want my love to go to waste

    I want you and your beautiful soul

    You're the one I wanna chase

    You're the one I wanna hold

    I won't let another minute go to waste

    I want you and your beautiful soul

     

    Am I crazy for wanting you?

    Maybe do you think you could want me too?

    I don't wanna waste your time

    Do you see things the way I do?

    I just wanna know that you feel it too

    There is nothing left to hide

     

    [Chorus:]

    I don't want another pretty face

    I don't want just anyone to hold

    I don't want my love to go to waste

    I want you and your beautiful soul

    You're the one I wanna chase

    You're the one I wanna hold

    I won't let another minute go to waste

    I want you and your soul

     

    I don't want another pretty face

    I don't want just anyone to hold

    I don't want my love to go to waste

    I want you and your beautiful soul

     

    Ooooooo

    Beautiful soul, yeah

     

    Oooooo, yeah

    Your beautiful soul

    Yeah

     

    Midnight City (M83) - Dreaming While Awake

     

    Waiting in the car

    Waiting for a ride in the dark

    At night the night city grows

    Look at the horizon glow

     

    Waiting in the car

    Waiting for a ride in the dark

    Drinking in the lights

    Following the neon signs

     

    Waiting for a word

    Looking at the milky skyline

    The city is my church (city is my church)

    It wraps me in its blinding twilight

     

    Waiting in a car

    Waiting for a ride in the dark

    Waiting in a car

    Waiting for the right time

    Waiting in a car

    Waiting for the right time

    Waiting in a car

    Waiting for the right time

    Waiting in a car

    Waiting for the right time

    Waiting in a car

    Waiting for the right time

    Waiting in a car

    Waiting for the right time

     

    Boys Just Want To Have Fun (Team Heartbreak) - Giggles and Gumdrops

     

    (Funny take on Cyndi Lauper’s ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun)

     

    Tongue Tied (Grouplove) - More Than A Memory

     

    Take me to your best friend's house

    Go around this roundabout

    Oh yeah

    Take me to your best friend's house

    I loved you then and I love you now

    Oh yeah

     

    Don't take me tongue tied

    Don't wave no goodbye

    Don't...

    Right!

     

    Take me to your best friend's house

    Marmalade we're making out

    Oh yeah

    Take me to your best friend's house

    I loved you then and I love you now

     

    Don't take me tongue tied

    Don't wave no goodbye

    Don't...

    Right!

     

    One, two, three, four

    Don't leave me tongue tied

    Let's stay up all night

    I'll get real high

    Slumber party; pillow fight

    My eyes on your eyes

    Like Peter Pan up in the sky

    My best friend's house tonight

    Let's bump the beats till beddy-bye

     

    Don't take me tongue tied

    Don't wave no goodbye

    Don't take me tongue tied

    Don't kiss me goodnight

    Don't...

     

    Take me to your best friend's house

    Go around this roundabout

    Oh yeah

    Take me to your best friend's house

    I loved you then and I love you now

     

    [2x]

    Don't leave me tongue tied

    Don't wave no goodbye

    Don't leave me tongue tied

    Don't...

     

    Kiss The Boy (Keiynan Lonsdale) - Momentum

     

    I've been afraid of my place

    Of this way

    Of my feelings

    But I'm amazed at how we talk

    It's so chill

    But there's tension

    What was the deal when your eyes locked on me

    What was the deal when you smiled at me like that

    You see I try to be cool

    But the problem is

     

    You messing my emotions up

    My air gets stuck

    I'm scared to show just how I feel 'cause people talk

    Don't want to worry 'bout whatever

    Just got to know your deal

    See, half the time I'm wondering if this is real

    Why not say something's on my mind if I feel love

    But when the moment's right I freeze

    That's how I know my heart is his

     

    If you want to kiss the boy

    Then you better kiss the boy right now

    You ain't got to be afraid

    Of the words you want to say right now

    'Cause love is a game we deserve to play out loud

    So if you wanna

    Then you better kiss the boy

    Oh, you better kiss the boy right now

     

    Give into love

    Give into love

    Give it the time

    Give it the time

    If it's all a movie

    Then you'll see

    It's only about us two

    But the cost of trust is that you could throw it away

    Maybe it's overrated

    I probably shouldn't chase it

    But I can't stop the crazy within

     

    You messing my emotions up

    My head gets stuck

    I'm scared to show just how I feel 'cause people talk

    Don't want to worry 'bout whatever

    Just got to know your deal

    See, half the time I'm wondering if this is real

    I might not say the one thing on my mind

    'Cause it's too tough

    But we lose our chance when we don't try

    On second thought

    Yeah, I think I might

     

    So if you want to kiss the boy

    Then you better kiss the boy right now

    (right now, right now)

    You ain't got to be afraid

    Of the words you want to say right now

    'Cause love is a game we deserve to play out loud

    So if you wanna

    Then you better kiss the boy

    Oh, you better kiss the boy right now

     

    Don't want to hide

    Don't want to hide

    Most of my life I've been terrified

    Spending my days always questioning

    Am I wrong to love a man

    I realized

    I realized

    Ain't gotta hide this heart of mine

    I'm gonna fight just to let you know

    To open your light and let it glow

     

    So if you want to kiss the boy

    Then you better kiss the boy right now

    (Oh, yeah)

    You ain't gotta be afraid

    Of the words you want to say right now

    (You gotta say it baby)

    'Cause love is a game we deserve to play out loud

    (We deserve our love)

    So if you want to play

    Then you better kiss the boy

    Oh, you better kiss the boy right now

     

    If you want to kiss the boy

    Then you better kiss the boy right now

     

    Obvious (CHPTRS) - Something Better, Something Real

     

    Don’t tell me to calm down.

    Look all around us here

    Fall.  It’s easy to see from down here

    If I’m not swinging then the war is won

     

    Caught beforehand

    falling forward

    All in front of us

    Light bestowed

    the heavens open

    Was it obvious?

     

    Isn’t it obvious?

    You were right in front of me

    with the answer

    with the answer

     

    Sign on the dotted line  

    in the hands of authority now

    All that’s left now is time

     

     

    Touch (Troye Sivan)  - Eight and A Half Minutes

     

    Glow is low and it's dimming

    And the silence is ringing

    And I can almost feel your breath

    I can almost feel the rest

     

    Night is young and we're living

    Hands move, moving steady

    And the time is moving slower

    I can feel we're getting closer, closer

     

    Standing in the eye of the storm

    My eyes start to roam

    To the curl of your lips

    In the center of eclipse

    In total darkness I, I reach out and touch

     

    My mind's gone on racing

    On a horse that's escaping

    And I'm ready to jump,

    Yeah, I'm ready to swim

     

    Life is chances that are taken

    But nothing's ever broken

    They're just pieces on the ground

    New hands need to build them

     

    My mind's gone on running

    My hands cut loose

    Yeah, but there's no need for answers

    Just the things you gotta do

     

    And I need you to trust

    That I'm lost and we must

    Get past all these rules

    We must choose

    To reach out and touch

     

    Standing in the eye of the storm

    My eyes start to roam

    To the curl of your lips

    In the center of eclipse

    In total darkness I, reach out and...

     

    Standing in the eye of the storm

    My eyes start to roam

    To the curl of your lips

    In the center of eclipse

    In total darkness I reach, I reach out and touch

     

    Who We Are (Tristan Prettyman) - The Madness and the Ache

     

    I would grant all your wishes

    If you promised me a thousand kisses

    I will never, love another, like you

    So give me all your secrets

    your fear and doubts, honey you don’t need them

    I will never, find another, like you

    And the airs getting thin

    Where the wings meet the wind

    We see it, we can feel it and we know this

    I believe in something more

    all the days that came before

    led us right to where we are

    right to where we are

    it’s all written in the stars

    we’ve already come so far

    and we can’t change who we are

    ah ah who we are

    ohhhhhhhh who we are

    ohhhhhhhh who we are

    I don’t have all the answers

    but right now is all the matters

    I could never, love another, like I loved you

    And we don’t have to understand

    fate always has the upper hand

    and fate choose me and you

     

    Internet Killed The Video Star (The Limousines) - Counter-Theme

     

    The kids are disco-dancing

    They're tired of rock and roll

    I try to tell them, "Hey, that drum machine ain't got no soul"

    But they don't want to listen, no

    They think they've heard it all

    They trade those guitars in for drum machines and disco balls

     

    We can't rewind now; we've gone too far

    Internet killed the video star

     

    The kids are disco-dancing

    They're tired of rock and roll

    Don't bother telling them that drum machine ain't got no soul

    The kids are disco-dancing

    They're tired of rock and roll

    Don't bother telling them that drum machine ain't got no soul

     

    You know we never listen; we think we've seen it all

    Like everything we're doing, no one's ever done before

    Did you hear what they said?

    That rock and roll is dead?

    Yeah, it's like a zombie: it will dig itself back up again

     

    Tune in the signal but it's fading

    Some ghost strumming his guitar on the radio

    Singing, "Oh, the glory days are gone

    But everything's okay, 'cause we still love our sex and drugs

    Just like the good ol' days"

     

    The kids are disco-dancing

    They're tired of rock and roll

    Don't bother telling them that drum machine ain't got no soul

    The kids are disco-dancing

    They're tired of rock and roll

    Don't bother telling them that drum machine ain't got no soul

     

    Well, I'm a horrible dancer; I ain't gonna lie

    But I'll be damned if that means that I ain't gonna try

    Yeah, I'm a shitty romancer, baby; I ain't gonna lie

    But I'll be damned if that means that I ain't gonna try

    Get up, get up, get up, and dance

    Get up, get up, get up, and dance

     

    The kids are disco-dancing

    They're tired of rock and roll

    Don't bother telling them that drum machine ain't got no soul

    The kids are disco-dancing

    They're tired of rock and roll

    Don't bother telling them that drum machine ain't got no soul

     

    The kids are disco dancing

    They're tired of rock and roll

    They're tired of rock and roll

    They're tired of rock and roll

     

    We can't rewind now; we've gone too far, oh

    The Internet killed the video star

    The Internet killed the video star

    The Internet killed the video star

     

    Obvious (Alternate Version) (CHPTRS) - Love Theme Reprise

     

    Love-in till fade-out.

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    Recent Entries

    Giorge Leedy
    Latest Entry

    I did a lot of research over the years trying to find the cheapest place in the world to live. The cheapest I found was about $500 dollars a month in Vietnam. I had no clue what the cost of living would be in the Philippines when I moved here last February. To my surprise, it is only about $200 dollars a month for a small home and everything I need, including the most important thing; the internet.

     

    I left my job in New York City for several reasons, but the most important one was because I had no retirement plan and needed to start getting serious about my future. So I quit my job and cut off all ties to my paycheck addiction.

     

    Having been here for 10 months, my small savings is about depleted. Facing the real possibility of going broke is scary, but I am not focused on that. I’m focused on succeeding and believe I will, as I have no other choice.

     

    It is said that one of the best ways to motivate oneself to succeed is to cut off all ties to plan B. That is what I did and now I will see if that was a super smart thing to do or extremely foolish.

     

    In moving to the Philippines, my plan was to start an online business here, which I have just begun. Now, I not only need to start earning money to continue surviving, but to move on to my next big adventure; Sicily. My plan is to move to Palermo, where I spent a month 5 years ago. While there, I dated several guys and had a really great time even though I could not speak their language.

     

    Starting a business can be a fairly quick and easy thing to do. But being a creative person who is married to my talents, I could never start just any business. I had to create my business from within- bringing my talents as a writer and artist to life. So while I could have started any business as soon as I got to the Philippines, I have been busy- up to now- creating.

     

    I only recently finished and published my novel, TO BE HIS LIFE - When A Straight Man Strays. The toughest part to get just right was the first interactions and sexual encounters between the main character, Mikey Lane, and the straight guy, Cole Landry. To fully evolve those scenes and Cole's character, I had to write Cole's character using a straight friend I know and love dearly. Once I did that, Cole's character and scenes evolved into what they needed to be. Since doing that, I have made it a rule to always use a real person I know in writing every character and scene, even if it is a minor character- like a waitress. Having done this in this novel, I have created some of the story’s best scenes in the most unlikely places with the most minor characters.

     

    While creating my products to sell took me a long time, that is not the hardest part of starting a business. The hardest part is marketing. I have been doing a lot of studying lately on this to get myself up to speed, but I am still lacking. I wish I had studied marketing long ago. It is something everyone who wants to start a business should do first, as it is what ultimately determines ones success or failure.

     

    I have also done a lot of studying on the law of attraction; aiming to better manifest the things I want to achieve in my life. But I have found some of these teachings problematic. One is that I don’t hear enough teachers telling people to try. Instead, they tell people they must absolutely believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that something is going to happen in order for them to manifest it. That is total bullshit. One of the biggest reasons people fail is because they never try. To succeed, you have to try. I am a high achiever and some of my greatest successes have resulted from facing my fears and doubts and trying to achieve the most difficult things regardless of how impossible they seemed.   

     

    Trying to succeed despite my fears is what I am busy doing right now. Not having enough money to buy a ticket out of the Philippines, I have every reason to be afraid. My back is up against the wall. There is no plan B. This is it. I have to start making money or else.

  12. Carlos Hazday
    Latest Entry

    Twenty years ago today, on December 1, 1998, the Miami-Dade County Commission approved the addition of sexual orientation to the county’s human rights ordinance. The battle many had fought over the past year culminated in victory. A temporary achievement since the hateful Christian Coalition worked to place the decision on the ballot the following year. They lost.

     

    For over a year, I helped increase awareness, raise money, conduct outreach, lobby politicians, debate homophobes, and granted countless interviews to the media. I was called vile names by those professing their Christianity often enough my dislike for the religion became permanent. To this day, any mention of Christian values makes me frown.

     

    On that fateful morning, my boyfriend and I awoke in darkness and were in front of the Commission chambers by sunrise. With hateful chants as background, I spoke to National Public Radio, The New York Times, the Voice of America, Armed Forces Radio, and who knows how many more outlets in both English and Spanish. My fifteen minutes of fame thanks to the marketing people thinking I spoke well and came across as a level-headed individual. Ha! Seeing my name on the front page of the Times and listening to the NPR report the following morning was a thrill. I still have the newspaper and a cassette of the radio show.

     

    However, the most wonderful part of the experience was working with the men and women who made the day’s events possible. Maybe it was not on par with the promise made by the signers of the Declaration of Independence to “mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our Sacred Honor,” but to me it was close. The time and financial commitment made by many propelled us to victory.

     

    Liebe Gadinsky stands out amongst all. The mother of two and her husband became friends, and although we rarely communicate these days, I will treasure the time I spent with them for as long as I live. Liebe and Seth were proof that the fight for our humanity was not limited to GLBT community members, but encompassed caring individuals who felt discrimination was unjust.

     

    Many of you dislike and dismiss political involvement, I read the comments often enough when I posted a story revolving around a presidential campaign. As an aside, my involvement back then influenced much of what I wrote in that book. I would like you all to remember that without drag queens fighting in front of the Stonewall Inn in 1969 or volunteers canvassing throughout Miami in 1998, most of us would be hiding in the back of a closet too scared to live. Go out, give money, volunteer, make phone calls, write letters; do whatever it takes to elect individuals who will not treat us as second-class citizens.

     

    It was the experience of a lifetime and I am grateful I was part of such a momentous event. My participation also allowed me to keep a promise I made when the Anita Bryant-backed forces led to the overturn of a similar ordinance in 1977. I swore that if the issue arose again, I would not remain quiet. I am glad I did not.

     

    I’ll close with Margaret Mead’s words: “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has”

     

     

     

    https://www.nytimes.com/1998/12/02/us/2-decades-on-miami-endorses-gay-rights.html

     

  13. Howdy y'all! :hug:  These last few weeks have been busy for me, to say the least.

     

    Without further ado, let's begin!

     

    PHYS 2425: In Week 11, we finished up on waves. My professor went over sound waves, the Doppler Effect, and finally the superposition of waves. In Week 12, we began new material, this time on Temperature. We learned about four different temperature scales: Celsius, Fahrenheit, Kelvin, and Rankine. We then learned how the raising and lowering of temperatures can affect the shape of objects, whether they are solids, liquids, or gases. Speaking of that last phase, my professor also went over the Ideal Gas Law. (And no, @Headstall, it's not how many 'pffts' a day are ideal. :P ) Anyways, Week 12 was also Exam Week for Physics. And... it was difficult. The median score for that exam was 58%. Well over half my class failed the third exam. And honestly, I am surprised that I didn't fail this exam, but it's not worth celebrating given how so few actually passed. Next, we have Week 13, this was Thanksgiving Week, so it would be a short one for classes. The College was open as usual on Monday and Tuesday, and closed at noon on Wednesday. So, in Physics, on Monday, we learned about Heat. And that's it for lectures this week. Wednesday morning, instead of the usual lecture, my professor held an Ask Me Anything for his classes. It was not mandatory, so students could choose to attend or not. I attended and it was really interesting. We ended up asking him about black holes, dark energy and dark matter. And, it just shows that is PhD was well deserved.

     

    MATH 2414: Week 11 was basically a review on what we learned since Exam 1, because Exam 2 was coming up. My teacher told us that this exam would be long, so it wouldn't be held during class, but would be taken in the Testing Center, which gives us as much time as we need to finish it. And as it turned out, it took me four hours to finish the second exam. Week 12 is when thing got interesting. We learned about the Indeterminate Form of the Limit, which led us to learning about L'Hopital's Rule. Basically, Indeterminate Forms are limits equal things like 0/0 or infinity over infinity. L'Hopital's rule simply state's that the limit (as x approaches c) of f(x)/g(x) is equal to the the limit (as x approaches c) of f'(x)/g'(x). In short, if you take the derivative of the numerator and of the denominator, you can find the limit that isn't in an indeterminate form. Next, we learned about Improper integrals, and how to use the limit to solve them. Then, in Week 12 things got really interesting. We learned about infinite sequences. And then, Week 13 came along... @Parker Owens Can you guess what we learned next?

    Spoiler

    Series

     

    These next few weeks are gonna be fun! :D 

     

    ENGR 1201: During Week 11, we prepared for an Exam on Universal Units. (Can y'all see the pattern here?) Then in Week 12, we took the exam and I got an A on it! Finally, on Monday of Week 13, we went to a computer lab to work on a computer program called MATLAB. Apparently it does things better than a graphing calculator so I was intrigued. But... the computers wouldn't work as they were supposed to. So, those plans were scrapped. Instead, she had us work on our design projects.

     

    Question: In regards to Physics, on Exam 1, the median score was 66, on Exam 2 it was 69, and on Exam 3 it was 58. The teacher has the responsibility to teach the material and the student has the responsibility to study that material. The question is, who has greater responsibility, the teacher or the student? Or do they bear equal responsibility. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

     

    Finally: I'm now registered for Spring 2019. I'll be taking the following classes:

    • Principles of Physics II
    • Calculus III
    • Differential Equations
    • Engineering Mechanics I (Statics)

     

    I'm looking forward to next semester!

  14. I haven't been around much, but then, over the course of the last year, I haven't really done much in the way of writing. Most day, I feel like as soon as I get started i'm too tired to keep going and when I read what I wrote it reads like gibberish to me. For awhile there, I started to think that I shouldn't bother anymore, but then story ideas started flowing on to storyboards around my office, and I decided to leave the cork boards up to see if anything got done. Ech, it's slow, but something is trying to emerge. its funny, because some days I will have all these ideas and inspiration, but the get up and go dies right out of the gate and meh, its easier to sit in my easy chair beside my dog and watch tv instead of create something. I probably need to get out more and most likely rambling here, but a few weeks back I remembered how much I used to look forward to popping in here, hanging out on the chat and in the forums and interacting with people, and kicked myself for letting time get so far away from me. This whole year has felt like it's slipped away, or maybe it was just the meds I've been on making things seem out of sorts, I don't know i'm still trying to figure that part out. anyway, I'm back, put up a new story, fingers crossed I finish it. If anyone wanted to read anything else I've done that's not here, you can find it under Layla Dorine, there's some novels and stories and stuff out there. Happy reading. Drop me a line and say hi if you'd like, I need to crawl back out of my shell again. 

     

    The Places You Enter

     

     

    Tell me what you fear

    And I’ll tell you what I am

    What you are

    what is coming

    Prophesy

    My white eye sees death

    My green one the depth of your shriveled soul

    I walk paths of cobblestone

    Footsteps splashing puddles

    tracing echoes of memory

    Shattered by cawing  crows

    Black wings tipped with red

    Fluttering

    Falling without souls to curry

    No words to carry on

    I ride nightmares in a distant holler

    Searching for a place to hide

    To change

    grow

    shifting

    Evolving

    You know you can’t destroy me

    Killing what I am

    Would be killing what you’ll be

    When it all crashes to an end

    Enter

    Hold the door

    what you gain

    may be less

    than what you leave behind

     

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    Recent Entries

    Puppilull
    Latest Entry

    Frost: Hot and Cold Book 2 by [Nilsson, Märit]

     

    https://www.amazon.com/Frost-Hot-Cold-Book-2-ebook/dp/B07KCJC838/ref=cm_cr_srp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8

     

    Well, even if I live at the edge of the world and snow is right around the corner, that is not what I'm talking about. No, believe it or not, Frost is now available at Amazon. I still can't believe my books are out there in the real world. 

     

    Thank you all again for all your support and kind words!

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    Recent Entries

    Warrior1
    Latest Entry

    I have been on very high antidepressant for a long time. My mental health deteriorated so much that it was unavoidable. The problem with these ‘happy pills’ is that, though they can safely curb your depression to a great extent, they can effectively turn you into a zombie. I literally lost my ability to feel any kind of deep emotions. Life became numb, with no ups and no downs. For a moment, I had to actually wonder if the emotion center of my brain actually got irreversibly damaged. Until, that is, I met you.



    I didn’t want to come to class, but when you sat beside me and my eyes fell upon your face, I was so glad I did. Something shook inside me. Not only did I feel the emotions I thought I’d lost, but I felt them more strongly than I’d ever felt before. It wasn’t just your perfectly sculpted face (though I am as shallow as any other gay man, so yes, your beautifully handsome face made the first impression on me). It was your cheerful mannerism, your friendly gestures, your kind attitude … and so much that can’t be explained in words (or things even I couldn’t figure out). When you smiled, your nose used to wrinkle in an adorable way – a sight that is etched on my mind. I can’t forget how you used to keep sit for me, or ask me to keep one for you. I can’t forget how you once went to the front of the class on our sir’s insistence that one of us has to sit at the front of the column, and you chose to sacrifice for me. I cried thinking of you that day, and I still get teary eyed when I see your faced in my Facebook.

    But then you slowly drifted apart. Was it my own fault? I started ‘hearting’ your photos on Facebook against my better judgement. You felt uneasy about my approach, I assume, and you started ignoring me. When we met, you were cordial, but not the same warm person you once were to me. And I understand. It was my fault. How can I be so flamboyant in my love? I treaded on your personal ground, I made you – presumably a straight man – uncomfortable in my overt expression of my love.

    I deactivated my Facebook a long, long time ago, and kept it that way longer than I’d expected. But some dormant feeling inside me wanted to see you. I just wanted to see your playful eyes and that radiant smile one last time. And what a cruel surprise did I get when I opened your profile! You got married, to a girl just as beautiful as you. Maybe some good did come out of it. I swear I will not stalk you anymore because I know you are already taken. Good bye my love. I hope you all the best in your new life. May your life not be like mine. I hope you found what you were looking for in her, and you have a blessed life ahead. That’s all that matters to me.

  15. NlpvnTX.jpg

     

     

    _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

    Track List

     

    1. After The Sunset (Dan Gibson’s Solitudes) - Overture
    2. Wayfaring Stranger (16 Horsepower)  - Mysterious Colby’s Theme
    3. At A Glance (Message To Bears) - Colby Finds Prey Of A Different Kind
    4. When The Lights Go Out (The Black Keys) - Longing For Sunset To See Him Again
    5. I Waited For You (Daniel Norgren) - The End To A Long Search
    6. Into My Arms (Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds) - Holding Sweet Deacon For The First Time
    7. Nobody ‘Cept You (16 Horsepower) - ‘Deacon Is Mine’
    8. Until The Night Is Over (Timbre Timbre) - How To Keep Him?
    9. Awake O Sleeper (The Brothers Bright) - An Awakening Darkness
    10. The Man Comes Around (Johnny Cash) - Something Wicked This Way Comes
    11. Twilight On The Trail (Clint Eastwood) - Colby’s Trail Song
    12. Flesh And Blood (Johnny Cash) - Making Love Under The Stars
    13. Blood On My Name (the Brothers Bright) - Heaven And Hell
    14. I See A Darkness (Johnny Cash) - Colby Revealed
    15. Evil Ways (Blues Saraceno) - How Can One Love A Monster?
    16. You Are My Sunshine (Johnny Cash) - Deacon The Only Beacon In The Eternal Night
    17. Vampyre Dust (Kreeps) - Shadows Of The Vampyre
    18. Wanted Dead Or Alive (Bon Jovi) - Wanted For Murder
    19. I Will Never Die (Delta Rae) - Colby Immortal
    20. You Will Find Me (CHPTRS) - Promises Before Sunrise

    ————————————

    After The Sunset (Dan Gibson’s Soliturdes) - Overture

     

    Gentle Overture For A Gentle Western Evening

     

    Wayfaring Stranger (16 Horsepower)  - Mysterious Colby’s Theme

     

    I'm just a poor wayfaring stranger

    Traveling through this world below

    There is no sickness, no toil, nor danger

    In that bright land to which I go

     

    I'm going there to see my Father

    And all my loved ones who've gone on

    I'm just going over Jordan

    I'm just going over home

     

    I know dark clouds will gather 'round me

    I know my way is hard and steep

    But beauteous fields arise before me

    Where God's redeemed, their vigils keep

     

    I'm going there to see my Father

    He said he'd meet me when I come

    So, I'm just going over Jordan

    I'm just going over home

    I'm just going over Jordan

    I'm just going over home

     

    At A Glance (Message To Bears) - Colby Finds Prey Of A Different Kind

     

    Throw it down, look away

    Don't be scared, it's okay

    Settle down, set it right

    Don't be scared, its alright

     

    When The Lights Go Out (The Black Keys) - Longing For Sunset To See Him Again

     

    Don't it hurt so bad

    When you're standin’ in the sun

    In the bottom of your heart

    You don't love no one

     

    You can be oh so mean

    I just can't see, no in between

    You know what the sun's all about

    When the lights go out

     

    What a way to live

    Back of your class

    End of the line

    Always last

     

    You can be oh so mean

    I just can't see, no in between

    You know what the sun's all about

    When the lights go out

     

    See the moon

    See the stars

    From your lonely seat

    In your lonely cars

     

    You can be oh so mean

    I just can't see, no in between

    You know what the sun's all about

    When the lights go out

     

    I Waited For You (Daniel Norgren) - The End To A Long Search

     

    Like the wondering ghost for a harbor

    Like the ground beneath the snow for springtime

    Like the believer for something to believe in

    Like the drifting castaway for shoreline

     

    I waited for you

    All the way through

    All the way down the line

    I waited for you

     

    I waited for you

    All the way through

    All the way down the line

    I waited for you

     

    I burned out my eyes on the horizon

    Sunups in the east and sundowns in the west

    I watched them all for just one reason

    Sun came up or down, I couldn’t care less

     

    I waited for you

    All the way through

    All the way down the line

    I waited for you

     

    I waited for you

    All the way through

    All the way down the line

    I waited for you

     

    I waited for you

    All the way through

    All the way down the line

    I waited for you

     

    I waited for you

    All the way through

    All the way down the line

    I waited for you

     

    Into My Arms (Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds) - Holding Sweet Deacon For The First Time

     

    I don’t believe in an interventionist God

    But I know, darling, that you do

    But if I did I would kneel down and ask Him

    Not to intervene when it came to you

    Not to touch a hair on your head

    To leave you as you are

    And if He felt He had to direct you

    Then direct you into my arms

     

    Into my arms, O Lord

    Into my arms, O Lord

    Into my arms, O Lord

    Into my arms

     

    And I don’t believe in the existence of angels

    But looking at you I wonder if that’s true

    But if I did I would summon them together

    And ask them to watch over you

    To each burn a candle for you

    To make bright and clear your path

    And to walk, like Christ, in grace and love

    And guide you into my arms

     

    Into my arms, O Lord

    Into my arms, O Lord

    Into my arms, O Lord

    Into my arms

     

    But I believe in Love

    And I know that you do too

    And I believe in some kind of path

    That we can walk down, me and you

    So keep your candles burning

    And make her journey bright and pure

    That she will keep returning

     

    Always and evermore

    Into my arms, O Lord

    Into my arms, O Lord

    Into my arms, O Lord

    Into my arms

     

     

    Nobody ‘Cept You (16 Horsepower) - ‘Deacon Is Mine’

     

    Nothin' 'round here to me that's sacred

    'Cept you, yeah you

    Nothin' 'round here to me that matters

    'Cept you, yeah you

     

    You're the one that reaches me

    You're the one that I admire

    Every time we meet together

    I feel like I'm on fire

    Nothin' matters to me

    And there is nothin' I desire

    'Cept you, yeah you

     

    Nothin' 'round here I care to try for

    'Cept you, yeah you

    Got nothin' here to live or die for

    'Cept you, yeah you

     

    As a kid I'd hear it

    In the churches all the time

    Make me feel so good inside

    So peaceful, so sublime

    Now nothin' does remind me

    Of that old familiar chime

    'Cept you, yeah you

     

    Used to run in the cemetery

    Dance and run and sing when I was a child

    And it never seemed strange

    Now I just pass mournfully by

    That place where the bones of life are piled

    I know something has changed

    I'm a stranger here and no one sees me

    'Cept you, yeah you

     

    Nothin' anymore seems to please me

    'Cept you, yeah you

    Your love hypnotizes me

    It holds me in its spell

    Everything runs by me

    Just like water from a well

    Everybody wants my attention

    Everybody's got something to sell

    'Cept you, yeah you

    I'm in love with you

     

    I'm in love with you

     

    Until The Night Is Over (Timbre Timbre) - How To Keep Him?

     

    There is a house in New Orleans

    Where you woke from a coma and they bit your cheek

    And they cleaned you out when you went to sleep

     

    Oh, I just wanna change your mind

    I just wanna change your mind

    And it might become right away

    It might become till the day I'm done

     

    And I saw it as the house caught fire

    And I saw it when the thief got brave

    It's like a night, night, crawler, crawlin' out in the yard

    And it's comin' over me in waves

     

    But you're haunted by the morning sun

    You keep digging till the night is over

     

    I ain't no doctor, babe

    I ain't no doctor, son

    But I'll cool your fever till the doctor comes

    It's a miracle, babe, but it ain't no fun

     

    I just wanna change your mind

    I just wanna change your mind

    It might become right away

    It might become till the day I'm done

     

    And I saw it as the house caught fire

    And I saw it when the thief got brave

    It's like a night, night, crawler, crawlin' out in the yard

    And it's comin' over me in waves

     

    But it's not here now

    It's the chance of it I hate

    It's a hundred thousand miles off

    Comin' closer every day

     

    Awake O Sleeper (The Brothers Bright) - An Awakening Darkness

     

    Oh Abraham would raise his hands;

    and mourn this very day;

    for his children left the promise land;

    in search of their own way.

     

    They kick and scream like wayward sons;

    And always wanting to sleep;

    and dream away these evil days;

    in hopes that God can't see.

     

    There are chains upon your children Lord;

    Chains upon your children.

    There are chains upon your children Lord;

    Chains upon your children.

     

    Do you hear the lion roar?

    (Awake O Sleeper)

    Stand with me we'll fight the war.

    (Awake O Sleeper)

     

    Your suffering will come again;

    and never fall away.

    For we trade our many comforts;

    Like the ones who bled for grace.

     

    There will come a day my God will come;

    and put me in my place.

    My God I pray;

    You'll call my name;

    instead of turn away.

     

    There are chains upon your children Lord;

    Chains upon your children.

    There are chains upon your children Lord;

    Chains upon your children.

     

    Do you hear the lion roar?

    (Awake O Sleeper)

    Stand with me we'll fight the war.

    (Awake O Sleeper)

     

    Let no man bring me harm;

    I bear the marks of Jesus.

    Let no man bring me harm;

    I bear the marks of the Lord.

     

    I said, Let no man bring me harm;

    I bear the marks of Jesus.

    Let no man bring me harm;

    I bear the marks of God.

     

    Do you hear the lion roar?

    (Awake O Sleeper)

    Stand with me we'll fight the war.

    (Awake O Sleeper)

     

    Do you hear the lion roar?

    (Awake O Sleeper)

    Stand with me we'll fight the war.

    (Awake O Sleeper)

     

    (Let no man bring me harm;

    I bear the marks of Jesus;

    Let no man bring me harm;

    I bear the marks of the Lord.)

     

    The Man Comes Around (Johnny Cash) - Something Wicked This Way Comes

     

    "And I heard, as it were, the noise of thunder

    One of the four beasts saying,

    'Come and see.' and I saw, and behold a white horse"

     

    There's a man goin' 'round takin' names

    And he decides who to free and who to blame

    Everybody won't be treated all the same

    There'll be a golden ladder reachin' down

    When the man comes around

     

    The hairs on your arm will stand up

    At the terror in each sip and in each sup

    Will you partake of that last offered cup

    Or disappear into the potter's ground?

    When the man comes around

     

    Hear the trumpets hear the pipers

    One hundred million angels singin'

    Multitudes are marchin' to the big kettledrum

    Voices callin', voices cryin'

    Some are born and some are dyin'

    It's alpha and omega's kingdom come

    And the whirlwind is in the thorn tree

    The virgins are all trimming their wicks

    The whirlwind is in the thorn tree

    It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks

     

    Till Armageddon no shalam, no shalom

    Then the father hen will call his chickens home

    The wise man will bow down before the throne

    And at his feet, they'll cast their golden crowns

    When the man comes around

     

    Whoever is unjust let him be unjust still

    Whoever is righteous let him be righteous still

    Whoever is filthy let him be filthy still

    Listen to the words long written down

    When the man comes around

     

    Hear the trumpets hear the pipers

    One hundred million angels singin'

    Multitudes are marchin' to the big kettledrum

    Voices callin', voices cryin'

    Some are born and some are dyin'

    It's alpha and omega's kingdom come

    And the whirlwind is in the thorn tree

    The virgins are all trimming their wicks

    The whirlwind is in the thorn trees

    It's hard for thee to kick against the prick

    In measured hundredweight and penny pound

    When the man comes around

     

    "And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts

    And I looked, and behold a pale horse

    And his name that sat on him was death, and hell followed with him"

     

    Twilight On The Trail (Clint Eastwood) - Colby’s Trail Song

     

    When its twilight on the trail and I jog along

    The world is like a dream and the ripple of a stream is my song.

     

    When its twilight in the trail and I rest once more

    My ceiling is the sky and the grass in which I lie is my floor.

     

    Never, never have a nickel in my jeans

    Never ever have a debt to pay

    Still, I understand what real contentment mean

    Guess I was born that way

     

    When its twilight on the trail and my voice is still

    Please plant this heart of mine underneath the lonesome pine on the hill

     

    Guess I was born that way

     

    When its twilight on the trail and my voice is still

    Please plant this heart of mine underneath the lonesome pine on the hill

     

    When its twilight on the trail.

     

    Flesh And Blood (Johnny Cash) - Making Love Under The Stars

     

    Beside a singing mountain stream

    Where the willow grew

     

    Where the silver leaf of maple

    Sparkled in the morning dew

    I braided twigs of willows

    Made a string of buckeye beads

    But flesh and blood needs flesh and blood

    And you're the one I need

    Flesh and blood needs flesh and blood

    And you're the one I need

     

    I leaned against a bark of birch

    And I breathed the honeydew

    I saw a North-bound flock of geese

    Against a sky of baby blue

    Beside the lily pads

    I carved a whistle from a reed

    Mother Nature's quite a lady

    But you're the one I need

    Flesh and blood needs flesh and blood

    And you're the one I need

     

    A cardinal sang just for me

    And I thanked him for the song

    Then the sun went slowly down the west

    And I had to move along

    These were some of the things

    On which my mind and spirit feed

    But flesh and blood need flesh and blood

    And you're the one I need

    Flesh and blood needs flesh and blood

    And you're the one I need

     

    So when this day was ended

    I was still not satisfied

    For I knew everything I touched

    Would wither and would die

    And love is all that will remain

    And grow from all these seeds

    Mother Nature's quite a lady

    But you're the one I need

    Flesh and blood needs flesh and blood

    And you're the one I need

     

    Blood On My Name (the Brothers Bright) - Heaven And Hell

     

    There's a reckoning a'comin'

    It burns beyond the grave

    There's lead inside my belly

    'Cause my soul has lost its way

     

    Oh Lazarus, how did your debts get paid?

    Oh Lazarus, were you so afraid?

     

    When the fires, when the fires have surrounded you

    With the hounds of hell coming after you

    I've got blood, I've got blood on my name

     

    When the fires, when the fires are consuming you

    And your sacred stars won't be guiding you

    I've got blood, I've got blood, blood on my name

     

    Not a spell gonna be broken

    With a potion or a priest

    When you're cursed you're always hoping

    That a prophet would be grieved

     

    Oh Lazarus, how did your debts get paid?

    Oh Lazarus, were you so afraid?

     

    Can't you see I'm sorry?

    I will make it worth your while

    Made of dead man's money

    You can see it in my smile

     

    Oh Lazarus, how did your debts get paid?

    Oh Lazarus, were you so afraid?

     

    When the fires, when the fires have surrounded you

    And the whole wide world's coming after you

    I got blood, I got blood on my name

     

    When the fires, when the fires are consuming you

    And your sacred stars won't be guiding you

    I got blood, I got blood, blood on my name

     

    It won't be long

    'Til I'm dead and gone

    It won't be long

    'Til I'm dead and gone

    Watch the fires rise

    Burn through my skin

    Down to the bone

    Scorching my soul

    Nowhere to run

    Nowhere to run

    Nowhere to run

     

    When the fires, when the fires have surrounded you

    With the hounds of hell coming after you

    I've got blood, I've got blood on my name

     

    When the fires, when the fires are consuming you

    And your sacred stars won't be guiding you

    I've got blood, I've got blood on my name

     

    When the fires, when the fires have surrounded you

    And the whole wide world's coming after you

    I've got blood, I've got blood, blood on my name

     

    I See A Darkness (Johnny Cash) - Colby Revealed

     

    Well, you're my friend

    And can you see

    Many times we've been out drinking

    Many times we've shared our thoughts

    But did you ever, ever notice

    The kind of thoughts I got?

    Well, you know I have a love

    A love for everyone I know

    And you know I have a drive

    To live, I won't let go

    But can you see this opposition

    Comes rising up sometimes?

    That it's dreadful imposition

    Comes blacking in my mind

     

    And then I see a darkness

    And then I see a darkness

    And then I see a darkness

    And then I see a darkness

    Did you know how much I love you?

    Is a hope that somehow you

    Can save me from this darkness

     

    Well, I hope that someday, buddy

    We have peace in our lives

    Together or apart

    Alone or with our wives

    And we can stop our whoring

    And pull the smiles inside

    And light it up forever

    And never go to sleep

    My best unbeaten brother

    This isn't all I see

     

    Oh no, I see a darkness

    Oh no, I see a darkness

    Oh no, I see a darkness

    Oh no, I see a darkness

    Did you know how much I love you?

    Is a hope that somehow you

    Can save me from this darkness

     

    Evil Ways (Blues Saraceno) - How Can One Love A Monster?

     

    Its been so long

    Long hard days

    They don't say

    Gods change my ways

    Change my ways

    Those evil ways

     

    So I set out

    Cross that way

    Strike them down

    To make them pay

    Change their ways

    Their evil ways

     

    But I can’t hide

    Ooooooo

    And I won't hide

    Oooooo Yeah!

    My Evil Ways

     

    I found out

    The hate grow cold

    The god rise up

    Damn my soul

    Cause I ain't change

    Change my ways

    I ain't change

     

    So I won't hide

    Ooooo

    I won't hide

    Oooooo

    I can't hide Yeah!

    Ooooooo

    I can't hide HEY!

    My evil ways

     

    (Long Solo)

     

    Well I can't hide

    Ooooo

    And I won't hide

    Ooooo yeah!

    Well I can't hide

    Ooooo ouh!

    Caus’ I can't hide

    My evil ways

     

    You Are My Sunshine (Johnny Cash) - Deacon The Only Beacon In The Eternal Night

     

    The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping

    I dreamt I held you in my arms

    When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken

    So I bowed my head and I cried

     

    You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

    You make me happy when skies are grey

    You'll never know, dear, how much I love you

    Please don't take my sunshine away

     

    I've always loved you and made you happy

    And nothing else could come between

    But now you've left me to love another

    You have shattered all of my dreams

     

    You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

    You make me happy when skies are grey

    You'll never know, dear, how much I love you

    Please don't take my sunshine away

     

    Vampyre Dust (Kreeps) - Shadows Of The Vampyre

     

    Creepy Western Instrumental Interlude

     

    Wanted Dead Or Alive (Bon Jovi) - Wanted For Murder

     

    It's all the same, only the names will change

    Every day, it seems we're wastin' away

    Another place where the faces are so cold

    I drive all night just to get back home

     

     

    I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride

    I'm wanted dead or alive

    Wanted dead or alive

     

    Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it's not for days

    The people I meet always go their separate ways

    Sometimes you tell the day

    By the bottle that you drink

    And times, when you're all alone all you do, is think

     

    I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride

    I'm wanted (wanted) dead or alive

    Wanted (wanted) dead or alive

     

    Oh, and I ride

     

    (Yeah)

     

    Oh, and I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride

    I'm wanted dead or alive

     

    I walk these streets

    A loaded six-string on my back

    I play for keeps 'cause I might not make it back

    I've been everywhere, still, I'm standing tall

    I've seen a million faces

    And I've rocked them all

     

    I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride

    I'm wanted (wanted) dead or alive

    I'm a cowboy, I got the night on my side

    I'm wanted (wanted) dead or alive

    And I ride, dead or alive

    I still drive (I still drive) dead or alive

    Dead or alive, dead or alive, dead or alive, dead or alive

     

    I Will Never Die (Delta Rae) - Colby Immortal

     

    Hickory, oak, pine, and weed

    Bury my heart underneath these trees

    And when a southern wind comes to raise my soul

    Spread my spirit like a flock of crows

     

    'Cause I've loved you for too long

    I've loved you for too long

    I've loved you for too long

     

    Old heat of raging fire

    Come and light my eyes

    Summer's kiss to electric wire

    But I'll never die

     

    Sycamore, ash, moss, and loam

    Wrap your roots all around my bones

    And when they come for me

    When they call my name

    Cast my shadow from a bellow's flame

     

    'Cause I've loved you for too long

    I've loved you for too long

    I've loved you for too long

     

    (So let the storm come)

     

    Old heat of raging fire

    Come and light my eyes

    Summer's kiss to electric wire

    But I'll never die

     

    I will never die

     

    You can bury my body, but I'll never die

     

    In the dead of night

    (In the dead of night)

    I'm gonna loose these chains

    (I'm gonna loose these chains)

    I'm gonna run and run and run and run and run

    (Sing on, sister)

    I'm gonna run and run and run and run

    Coming for you again

    (Oh, coming for you again)

     

    So let the storm come

     

    Old heat of raging fire

    Come and light my eyes

    Summer's kiss to electric wire

    But I'll never die

     

    I will never die

     

    You can bury my body, but I'll never die

     

    Hickory, oak, pine, and weed

    Bury my heart underneath these trees

     

    You Will Find Me (CHPTRS) - Promises Before Sunrise

     

    This is more than you can handle

    This is more than you will ever know

     

    Stop now thinking there’s another way

    You don’t even have the words to say

     

    Look around you, look around you

    Look around you, you’re all alone

     

    Don’t worry, you will find me

    When you need me, I am watching you

    Don’t worry, you will find me

    When you call me, I am listening

    Don’t worry, you will find me

    When you need me, I am watching you

    Don’t worry, you will find me

    Don’t worry, you will find me

     

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    MrM
    Latest Entry

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    Track List

    ——————————————————

    1. Loveless (Lo Moon) - Entering Into The Experience
    2. Out Of Reach (Annie) - Endlessly Wanting Him
    3. Please, Please, Please Give Me What I Want! (The Dream Academy’s Cover of The Smiths) - Begging For Just One Good Day
    4. Shake The Disease (Depeche Mode) - The Crippled Heart Longs For Expression
    5. The More You Ignore Me The Closer I Get (Morrissey) - The Beginning Of The Obsession
    6. See You (Depeche Mode) - Distant Devotion
    7. Wishful Thinking (China Crisis) - Bedtime Crises 
    8. Only The Lonely (The Motels) - ‘Only The Lonely Can Play’
    9. I’ll Always Come Back (Swim Team) - Stuck Within His Relentless Gravity
    10. Lie To Me (Depeche Mode) - Taking The Lies Over The Lovelessness
    11. In Your Room (Depeche Mode) - Desperate Sexual Fantasies For Him
    12. The Golden Boy (Epsen Kraft) - When The Fantasy Becomes Reality
    13. Seeing Stars (Empathy Test) - To Be Loveless No More
    14. Fool Of Me (Meshell Ndegeocello) - Love’s Fool
    15. Hurts Too Much (Cinnamon Chasers) - Broken Entirely
    16. So In Love (OMD) - When Love Becomes Hate
    17. Without You (Air Supply) - Pleading In Anguish
    18. Losing Touch (Empathy Test) - The Sharp Knives Of Being Ignored
    19. The One I Gave My Heart To (Aaliyah) - Unravelling
    20. Throwing Stones, The Minuit Machine Remix  (Empathy Test and The Minuit Machine) - Brandon Will Pay! 
    21. Love Will Tears Us Apart (Joy Division) - Emails And Photos As Weapons
    22. The Crying Game (Boy George) - Loveless Again
    23. Suicide Is Painless (Ania Cover) - Ultimately, The Only Way Out
    24. Goodbye (Secondhand Serenade) - The Final Farewell
    25. The Rumor (Depeche Mode) - ‘Something’s Happened To Jimmy’
    26. Dante’s Prayer (Loreena McKennitt) - A Young Soul Seeking Release And Remembrance

    ————————————

    Loveless (Lo Moon) - Entering Into The Experience

     

    Crosses in the distance, bells ring fast

    Loveless in our shelter, time will pass

    Could you take the chance on us?

    Could you take the chance on us?

     

    Call out to the lonely with regrets

    Loveless is your answer, time will pass

    Couldn’t take a chance on us

    Couldn’t take a chance on us

     

    Take my hand

    In belief we trace our steps

    Understand

    No relief in silhouettes

     

    Battled myself so many times

    What I was isn’t what I want now

    We can seek denial and search for miles

     

    Blessed love, the love I need

    Rolling drums, the Loveless bleed

     

    Take my hand

    In belief we trace our steps

    Understand

    No relief in silhouettes

     

    Out Of Reach (Annie) - Endlessly Wanting Him

     

    Oh it's Sunday night

    I am lying in my bed

    Thinking of the time

    When I was in your arms

    The other day

    Oh it's been so long

    I could not see

    Waiting for someone

    That was always right

    In front of me

     

    Why didn't I say something?

    Didn't do something?

    When I knew right

    Yeah, you could be with me

    Why was I so blind?

    Why didn't I take the time?

    And now you're gone, boy

    Oh you could be with me

     

    Oh I'm lying in my bed

    And I can not sleep

    Thinking of the things

    That You said to me, my baby

    You're out of reach

    Tossing and turning

    I cannot sleep

    Haunted by the things

    That I did not say, my baby

    You're out of reach

    You're out of reach

     

    If I could go back and rewind

    I'd show you that

    You're more than just a friend

    In every way

    I'd tell you all my secrets

    Boy, if you come back

    I'll never let you down

    I'll let you in

     

    Oh I'm lying in my bed

    And I can not sleep

    Thinking of the things

    That you said to me, my baby

    You're out of reach

    Tossing and turning

    I cannot sleep

    Haunted by the things

    That I did not say, my baby

    You're out of reach

    You're out of reach

     

    Where are you now when the lights are low?

    Cause I'm thinking of you, I won't let you go

     

    Why didn't I say something?

    Didn't do something?

    When I knew right

    Yeah, you could be with me

     

    Oh I'm lying in my bed

    And I can not sleep

    Thinking of the things

    You said to me, to me

    Oh I'm lying in my bed

    And I can not sleep

    Thinking of the things

    You said to me, to me

     

    Please, Please, Please Give Me What I Want! (The Dream Academy’s Cover of The Smiths) - Begging For Just One Good Day

     

    Good times for a change

    Seems the luck I've had

    Can make a good man

    Turn bad

     

    So please, please, please

    Let me, let me, let me

    Let me get what I want

    This time

     

    Haven't had a dream in a long time

    Seems the life I've had

    Can make a good man bad

     

    So for once in my life

    Let me get what I want

    Lord knows, it would be the first time

    Lord knows, it would be the first time

     

    Shake The Disease (Depeche Mode) - The Crippled Heart Longs For Expression

     

    I'm not going down on my knees,

    Begging you to adore me

    Can't you see it's misery

    And torture for me

    When I'm misunderstood

    Try as hard as you can, I've tried as hard as I could

    To make you see

    How important it is for me

     

    Here is a plea

    From my heart to you

    Nobody knows me

    As well as you do

    You know how hard it is for me

    To shake the disease

    That takes hold of my tongue

    In situations like these

     

    Understand me

     

    Some people have to be

    Permanently together

    Lovers devoted to

    Each other forever

    Now I've got things to do

    And I've said before that I know you have too

    When I'm not there

    In spirit I'll be there

     

    Here is a plea

    From my heart to you

    Nobody knows me

    As well as you do

    You know how hard it is for me

    To shake the disease

    That takes hold of my tongue

    In situations like these

     

    Understand me

     

    The More You Ignore Me The Closer I Get (Morrissey) - The Beginning Of The Obsession

     

    The more you ignore me

    The closer I get

    You're wasting your time

    The more you ignore me

    The closer I get

    You're wasting your time

     

    I will be

    In the bar

    With my head

    On the bar

    I am now

    A central part

    Of your mind's landscape

    Whether you care

    Or do not

    Yeah, I've made up your mind

     

    The more you ignore me

    The closer I get

    You're wasting your time

    The more you ignore me

    The closer I get

    You're wasting your time

     

    Beware!

    I bear more grudges

    Than lonely high court judges

    When you sleep

    I will creep

    Into your thoughts

    Like a bad debt

    That you can't pay

    Take the easy way

    And give in

    Yeah, and let me in

    Oh, let me in

    Oh, let me ahhh

    Oh, let me in

    It's war

    It's war

    It's war

    It's war

    It's war

    War

    War

    War

    War

    Oh, let me in

    Ah, the closer I get

    Oh, you're asking for it

    Ah, the closer I get

    Ooh, the closer I get

     

    See You (Depeche Mode) - Distant Devotion

     

    All I want to do is see you again

    Is that too much to ask for?

    I just want to see your sweet smile

    Smile the way it was before 

    Well I'll try not to hold you

    And I'll try not to kiss you

     

    And I won't even touch you 

    All I want to do is see you

    Don't you know that it's true 

     

    I remember the days when we'd walk through the woods

    And sit on a bench for a while

    I treasure the way we used to laugh and play

    And look in each others eyes 

    You can keep me at a distance if you don't trust my resistance

     

    But I swear I won't touch you 

    All I want to do is see you

    Don't you know that it's true 

     

    Well, I know five months is a long time

    And that times change (oh that times change)

    But I think that you will find

    People are basically the same (basically the same) 

     

    If the water's still flowing, we can go for a swim

    And do the things we used to do

    And if I'm reluctant you can pull me in

    And we can relive our youth 

    Oh, but we'll stay friendly like friends and brothers

     

    Though I think I still love you

    All I want to do is see you

    Don't you know that it's true?

     

    Wishful Thinking (China Crisis) - Bedtime Crises 

     

    It's time we should talk about it

    There's no secret kept in here

    Forgive me for asking

    Now wipe away your tears

     

    And if I wish to stop it all

    And if I wish to comfort the fall

    It's just wishful thinking

     

    I sat on the roof

    And watched the day go by

    I see the likeness in his smile and the way he stands

    Makes it all worthwhile

     

    And if I wish to stop it all

    And if I wish to comfort the fall

    It's just wishful thinking

     

    It's time we should talk about it

    There's no secret kept in here

    I see the likeness in his smile and the way he stands

    Makes it all worthwhile

     

    And if I wish to stop it all

    And if I wish to comfort the fall

    And if I wish to stop it all

    And if I wish to comfort the fall

    It's just wishful thinking

     

    Only The Lonely (The Motels) - ‘Only The Lonely Can Play’

     

    We walked the loneliest mile

    We smile without any style

    We kiss all together wrong

    No intention

     

    We lie about what each other thinks

    We live without each other

    Thinking what anyone would do

    Without me and you

     

    It's like I told you

    Only the lonely can play

     

    So hold on, here we go

    Hold on to nothin' we know

    I feel so lonely

    Way up here

     

    You mention the time we were together

    So long ago well I don't remember

    All I know is it makes me feel good now

     

    It's like I told you only the lonely can play

    Only the lonely only the lonely can play

     

    Only the lonely only the lonely can play

    It's like I told you only the lonely can play

    Only the lonely

    Only the lonely can play

     

    I’ll Always Come Back (Swim Team) - Stuck Within His Relentless Gravity

     

    Stay here with me before you go

    You know you're sweet the way you are

    Fall on my knees, I can't hold on

    ‘Cause I won't sleep 'til I am with

     

    You, I'll kiss your chapped lips

    We've shared my mattress

    I'll always come back

     

    With you, you'll hold my jacket

    We're leaving separate

    You'll never come back

     

    Walk in your sleep to the backyard

    Dig up the bones of what once was

    I'm growing weak from working hard

    A shimmerless life when I'm without

     

    You, I'll kiss your chapped lips

    We've shared my mattress

    I'll always come back

     

    With you, you'll hold my jacket

    We're leaving separate

    You'll never come back

     

    Take back what I said

    I know that you've tried too

    If I had what I want

    Let time go without us

     

    With You, I'll kiss your chapped lips

    We've shared my mattress

    I'll always come back

     

    With you, you'll hold my jacket

    We're leaving separate

    You'll never come back

     

    Lie To Me (Depeche Mode) - Taking The Lies Over The Lovelessness

     

    [Chorus: x2]

    Come on and lay with me

    Come on and lie to me

    Tell me you love me

    Say I'm the only one

     

    Experiences have a lasting impression

    But words once spoken

    Don't mean a lot now

     

    Belief is the way

    The way of the innocent

    And when I say innocent

    I should say naïve

     

    So lie to me

    But do it with sincerity

    Make me listen

    Just for a minute

    Make me think

    There's some truth in it

     

    [Chorus: x2]

     

    Promises made for convenience

    Aren't necessarily

    What we need

    Truth is a word

    That's lost its meaning

    The truth has become

    Merely half-truth

     

    So lie to me

    Like they do it in the factory

    Make me think

    That at the end of the day

    Some great reward

    Will be coming my way

     

    [Chorus: Repeats]

     

    In Your Room (Depeche Mode) - Desperate Sexual Fantasies For Him

     

    In your room

    Where time stands still

    Or moves at your will

    Will you let the morning come soon

    Or will you leave me lying here

    In your favourite darkness

    Your favourite half-light

    Your favourite consciousness

    Your favourite slave 

     

    In your room

    Where souls disappear

    Only you exist here

    Will you lead me to your armchair

    Or leave me lying here

    Your favourite innocence

    Your favourite prize

    Your favourite smile

    Your favourite slave 

     

    I'm hanging on your words

    Living on your breath

    Feeling with your skin

    Will I always be here 

     

    In your room

    Your burning eyes

    Cause flames to arise

    Will you let the fire die down soon

    Or will I always be here

    Your favourite passion

    Your favourite game

    Your favourite mirror

    Your favourite slave 

     

    I'm hanging on your words

    Living on your breath

    Feeling with your skin

    Will I always be here

     

    The Golden Boy (Epsen Kraft) - When The Fantasy Becomes Reality

     

    That's all I wanted from you, love 

    That's all I need 

    That's all I wanted from you, love 

    I want release 

    That's all I wanted from you, love 

    Oh, release 

    That's all I wanted from your touch 

    Your golden leaks 

     

    I want to... I want to breathe 

    I want you... I want release 

    I want to... want to breathe 

    I want you... I want release 

     

    This is the last day of the summer, so wake up boy x4 

    This is the last day of your world, so wake up boy 

    This is the last day of your world, so wake up boy 

    This is the last day... 

    This is the last day of your world, Golden Boy

     

    Seeing Stars (Empathy Test) - To Be Loveless No More

     

    Everybody knows you’re not perfect 

    But you still do your best to hide your flaws. 

     

    Everything you do is just surface 

    But we all know what goes on behind closed doors. 

     

    You’ll never know how it feels 

    To be out on a limb, in the wind. 

     

    And you’ll never know how much it hurts 

    To fall so hard you see stars 

     

    To fall so hard you see stars 

    To fall so hard you see stars 

    To fall so hard you see stars 

    To fall so hard you see stars 

     

    Everything we do is falling snowflakes 

    It will all have melted by the dawn. 

    Give up all your fears for your own sakes 

    And follow me out into the storm. 

     

    You’ll never know how it feels 

    To be out on a limb, in the wind. 

     

    And you’ll never know how much it hurts 

    To fall so hard you see stars 

     

    To fall so hard you see stars 

    To fall so hard you see stars 

    To fall so hard you see stars 

    To fall so hard you see stars

     

    Fool Of Me (Meshell Ndegeocello) - Love’s Fool

     

    I remember when you filled my heart with joy

    Was I blind to the truth just there to fill the space?

    'Cause now you have no interest in anything that I have to say

    And I have allowed you to make me feel, I feel so dumb

    What kind of fool am I that you so easily set me aside

     

    You made a fool of me

    Tell me why

    You say that you don't care that we made love

    Tell me why

    You made a fool of me . . . you made a fool of me

     

    I want to kiss you

    Does he want you with the pain that I do?

    I smell you in my dreams

    But now when we're face to face you won't look me in the eye

    No time, No friendship, No love

     

    You say don't touch you

    I can't touch you no more

    Can't touch you anymore, anymore

    I don't touch you anymore

     

    You made a fool of me

    Tell me why

    You say that you don't care that we made love

    Tell me why

    You made a fool of me, you made a fool of me

     

    Tell me why.

     

    Hurts Too Much (Cinnamon Chasers) - Broken Entirely

     

    Today is real and I can see the war starting now between us

    Broke me in two 

    We could've spent our life together

    Now we're pushed apart forever

     

    Not long to go

    I gotta get myself together

    Ain't gonna be like this forever

     

    Our broken dreams

    Now I can't believe our love is finally over

     

    It hurts too much to be apart

    Is it real, this love?

    Can you feel my touch?

     

    Today is real and I can see the war starting now between us

    Broke me in two 

    We could've spent our life together

    Now we're pushed apart forever

     

    It hurts too much to be apart

    Is it real, this love?

    Can you feel my touch?

     

    So In Love (OMD) - When Love Becomes Hate

     

    Talk to me, don't lie to me

    Save your breath

    Don't look at me, don't smile at me

    Just close your eyes

     

    I was so impressed by you

    I was running blind

    I would fall for every trick

    Every twist of mind

     

    Heaven is cold

    Without any soul

    It's hard to believe

    I was so in love with you

     

    ~ Jimmy thinks Billy is saying with his silence

    Don't say your prayers, don't build your hopes

    Just walk away

    Don't phone me up, don't call around

    Don't waste your time’ 

     

    You were so in awe of me

    You were so divine

    You would do just anything

    To still be mine’

     

    Heaven is cold

    Without any soul

    It's hard to believe

    I was so in love with you

     

    All the things you said to me

    I was so obsessed

    You were always talking, talking

    God, I did my best

     

    Heaven is cold

    Without any soul

    It's hard to believe

    I was so in love with you

     

    (I was so in love with you) Heaven is cold

    Without any soul

    It's hard to believe

    I was so in love with you

     

    (I was so in love with you) Heaven is cold

    Without any soul

    It's hard to believe

    I was so in love with you

     

    I was so in love, I was so in love, I was so in love with you

    So in love with you

     

    Without You (Air Supply) - Pleading In Anguish

     

    No, I can't forget this evening

    Or your face as you were leaving

    But I guess that's just the way the story goes

    You always smile but in you eyes your sorrow shows

    Yes, it shows

     

    No, I can't forget tomorrow

    When I think of all my sorrows

    When I had you there, but then you let me go

    And now it's only fair that I should let you know

    What you should know

     

    I can't live, if living is without you

    I can't give, I can't give any more

    Can't live, if living is without you

    Can't give, I can't give any more

     

    No, I can't forget this evening

    Or your face as you were leaving

    But I guess that's just the way the story goes

    You always smile but in you eyes your sorrow shows

    Yes, it shows

     

    I can't live, if living is without you

    I can't give, I can't give any more

    Can't live, if living is without you

    Can't give, I can't give any more

     

    I can't live, if living is without you

    I can't give, I can't give any more

    I can't live, if living is without you

    I can't give, I can't give any more

     

    I can't live, if living is without you

    I can't give, I can't give any more

     

    Losing Touch (Empathy Test) - The Sharp Knives Of Being Ignored

     

    Scared of losing touch 

    If I really mean that much 

    Why pretend that you love him? 

    Don't call me out of the blue 

    It's clear that I still do 

    And you know he knows it too. 

    Going home alone 

    The only love I've known 

    It's always been you. 

    It's always been you. 

     

    Tell me it's not real 

    Tell me he doesn't make you feel 

    The way I made you feel 

    If you care for me at all 

    You'll hang up when I call 

    You'll clear me the space to fall 

    If you give I will receive 

    And despite what they believe 

    It's always been you. 

    It's always been you. 

    It's always been you. 

     

    ~ Sam’s Helping Hand

    When you're feeling alone 

    And you're colder than stone 

    Call me you know 

    When you're feeling alone 

    And you're colder than stone 

    Call me you know 

    When you're feeling alone 

    And you're colder than stone 

    Call me you know 

    When you're feeling alone 

    And you're colder than stone 

    Call me you know 

     

    When you're feeling alone 

    And you're colder than stone 

    Call me you know ‘

     

    It's always been you. 

     

    When you're feeling alone 

    And you're colder than stone 

    Call me you know ‘

     

    It's always been you. 

     

    When you're feeling alone 

    And you're colder than stone 

    Call me you know’ 

     

    It's always been you. 

     

    When you're feeling alone 

    And you're colder than stone 

    Call me you know ‘

     

    It's always been you. 

     

    It's always been you.

     

    The One I Gave My Heart To (Aaliyah) - Unravelling

     

    How Could The One I Gave My Heart To, Break My Heart So Bad?

    How Could The One Who Made Me Happy, Make Me Feel So Sad?

    Wont Somebody Tell Me? So I Can Understand.

    If You Love Me, How Could You Hurt Me Like That?

    How Could The One I Gave My World To, Throw My World Away?

    How Could The One Who Said I Love You, Say The Things You Say?

    How Could The One I Was So True Too, Just Tell Me Lies?

    How Could The One I Gave My Heart To, Break This Heart Of Mine?

    Tell Me........

     

    How Could You Be So Cold To Me? When I Gave You Everything.

    All My Love, All I Had Inside.

    How Could you Just Walk Out The Door?

    How Could You Not Love Me Anymore?

     

    I Thought We Had Forever.

    I Cant Understand.

     

    How Could The One I Shared My Dreams With, Take My Dreams From me?

    How Could The Love That Brought Such Pleasure, Bring Such Misery?

    Won’t Somebody Tell Me? Somebody Tell Me Please.

    If You Love Me, How Could You Do That To Me?

    Tell Me........

     

    How Could you Just Walk Out The Door?

    How Could You Not Love Me Anymore?

    I Thought We Had Forever.

    I Cant Understand.

     

    *How Could The One I Gave My Heart To, Break My Heart So Bad?

    How Could The One Who Made Me Happy, Make Me Feel So Sad?

    Wont Somebody Tell Me? So I Can Understand.

    If You Love Me, How Could You Hurt Me Like That?*

     

    How Could The One I Gave My World To, Throw My World Away?

    How Could The One Who Said I Love You, Say The Things You Say?

    How Could The One I Was So True Too Just Tell Me Lies?

     

    *How Could The One I Gave My Heart To.....

    How Could The One I Gave My Heart To....

    How Could The One I Gave My Heart To Break This Heart of Mine?

    Tell Me........

     

    Throwing Stones, The Minuit Machine Remix  (Empathy Test and The Minuit Machine) - Brandon Will Pay! 

     

    Flicking through yesterday’s news 

    Slipping my neck into the noose again 

    Well it fits so well. 

    Doesn't know where his loyalties lie - 

    Then again neither do I. 

    Going out thinking I am there 

    Waking up in his arms but then

    I Never knew it would be so hard 

    Never knew I would be a part of this 

    Bitterness. 

     

    I try to fall awake but I still sleep 

    Wait for a week but I am weak 

    And resolutions fail 

    And once again I'm throwing stones 

    At your window. 

    Throwing stones 

    At your window. 

     

    Stand in the payphone, count to ten 

    But you won’t call me back again. 

    Sends a little shiver right through me 

    When I hear you running down to me. 

    But I know you’ll only turn away 

    ‘Cause you've got nothing left to say to me 

    Well; hear me out. 

     

    I try to fall awake but I still sleep 

    Wait for a week but I am weak. 

    And resolutions fail 

    And once again I'm throwing stones 

    At your window. 

    Throwing stones 

    At your window. 

    Throwing stones 

    At your window. 

    Throwing Stones 

    At your window.

     

     Love Will Tear Us Apart (Joy Division) - Emails And Photos As Weapons

     

    ~ Sending a photo hoping Billy will think this about Brandon

    ‘When routine bites hard

    And ambitions are low

    And resentment rides high

    But emotions won't grow

    And we're changing our ways, taking different roads

     

    Then love, love will tear us apart again

    Love, love will tear us apart again

     

    Why is the bedroom so cold?

    You've turned away on your side

    Is my timing that flawed?

    Our respect runs so dry

    Yet there's still this appeal

    That we've kept through our lives

     

    But love, love will tear us apart again

    Love, love will tear us apart again

     

    You cry out in your sleep

    All my failings exposed

    And there's a taste in my mouth

    As desperation takes hold

    Just that something so good just can't function no more

     

    But love, love will tear us apart again

    Love, love will tear us apart again

    Love, love will tear us apart again

    Love, love will tear us apart again’

     

    The Crying Game (Boy George) - To Be Loveless Again

     

    I know all there is to know about the crying game

    I've had my share of the crying game

    First there are kisses

    Then there are sighs

    And then, before you know where you are

    You're sayin' goodbye

     

    One day soon, I'm gonna tell the moon about the crying game

    And if he knows, maybe he'll explain

    Why there are heartaches (Heartaches)?

    Why there are tears (So sad)?

    Then what to do to stop feeling blue

    When love disappears

     

    First there are kisses (Kisses)

    Then there are sighs (So sad)

    And then, before you know where you are

    You're sayin' goodbye

     

    Don't want no more of the crying game (Don't want no more)

    Don't want no more of the crying game (Don't want no more)

    Don't want no more of the crying game (Don't want no more)

    Don't want no more of the crying game

     

     Suicide Is Painless (Ania Cover) - Ultimately, The Only Way Out

     

    Through early morning fog I see

    Visions of the things to be

    The pains that are withheld for me

    I realize and I can see

     

    That suicide is painless

    It brings on many changes

    And I can take or leave it if I please

     

    The game of life is hard to play

    I'm gonna lose it anyway

    The losing card I'll someday lay

    So this is all I have to say

     

    Suicide is painless (suicide)

    It brings on many changes (changes)

    And I can take or leave it if I please

     

    The sword of time will pierce our skins

    It doesn't hurt when it begins

    But as it works its way on in

    The pain grows stronger

    Watch it grin

     

    Suicide is painless

    It brings on many changes

    And I can take or leave it if I please

     

    A brave man once requested me

    To answer questions that are key

    Is it to be or not to be?’

    And I replied, ‘oh why ask me?’

     

    Suicide is painless

    It brings on many changes

    And I can take or leave it if I please

     

    And you can do the same thing if you please

     

    Goodbye (Secondhand Serenade) - The Final Farewell

     

    It's a shame that it had to be this way

    It's not enough to say I'm sorry

    It's not enough to say I'm sorry

     

    Maybe I'm to blame

    Or maybe we're the same

    But, either way I can't breathe

    Either way I can't breathe

     

    All I had to say is goodbye

    We're better off this way

    We're better off this way

     

    I'm alive but I'm losing all my drive

    Cause everything we've been through

    And everything about you

    Seemed to be a lie

    A guiltless twisted lie

    It made me learn to hate you

    Or hate myself for letting it pass by

     

    All I had to say is goodbye

    We're better off this way

    We're better off this way

    All I had to say is goodbye

    We're better off this way

    We're better off this way

     

    And every, everything isn't only

    What it seemed so hold these

    Words that you never told me

    Its time to say goodbye

    Its time to say goodbye

    Its time to say goodbye

    Goodbye

     

    Bye

     

    Take my pain away

    Tear it out

    Tell me I was wrong

    Tell me I was wrong

     

    Take my pain away

    Tear it out

    Tell me I was wrong

    Tell me I was wrong

     

    Take my pain away

    Tear it out

    Tell me I was wrong

    Tell me I was wrong

     

    (And so on)

     

    The Rumour (Depeche Mode) - ‘Something’s Happened To Jimmy’

     

    Boy of fourteen

    Whole life ahead of him

    Slashed his wrists 

    Bored with life

    Didn't succeed 

    Thank the Lord

    For small mercies

     

    Fighting back the tears

    Mother reads the note again

    Fourteen candles burn in her mind

    She takes the blame

    It's always the same

    She goes down on her knees

    And prays . . .

     

    I don't want to start 

    Any blasphemous rumours

    But I think that God's 

    Got a sick sense of humour 

    And when I die

    I expect to find Him laughing’

     

    I don't want to start 

    Any blasphemous rumours

    But I think that God's 

    Got a sick sense of humour 

    And when I die

    I expect to find Him laughing’

     

    Boy of fourteen

    Fell in love with somebody

    Found new life inside their eyes

    Hit by a lie 

    Ended up

    On a life support machine

     

    Summer's day 

    As he passed away

    Birds were singing 

    In the summer's sky

    Then came the rain

    And once again

    A tear fell

    From his mother's eye

     

    I don't want to start 

    Any blasphemous rumours

    But I think that God's 

    Got a sick sense of humour 

    And when I die

    I expect to find Him laughing’

     

    I don't want to start 

    Any blasphemous rumours

    But I think that God's 

    Got a sick sense of humour 

    And when I die

    I expect to find Him laughing’

     

    I don't want to start 

    Any blasphemous rumours

    But I think that God's 

    Got a sick sense of humour 

    And when I die

    I expect to find Him laughing’

     

    I don't want to start 

    Any blasphemous rumours

    But I think that God's 

    Got a sick sense of humour 

    And when I die

    I expect to find Him laughing’

     

    I don't want to start 

    Any blasphemous rumours

    But I think that God's 

    Got a sick sense of humour 

    And when I die

    I expect to find Him laughing’

     

    Dante’s Prayer (Loreena McKennitt) - A Young Soul Seeking Release And Remembrance

     

    When the dark wood fell before me

    And all the paths were overgrown

    When the priests of pride say there is no other way

    I tilled the sorrows of stone

     

    I did not believe because I could not see

    Though you came to me in the night

    When the dawn seemed forever lost

    You showed me your love in the light of the stars

     

    Cast your eyes on the ocean

    Cast your soul to the sea

    When the dark night seems endless

    Please remember me

     

    Then the mountain rose before me

    By the deep well of desire

    From the fountain of forgiveness

    Beyond the ice and fire

     

    Cast your eyes on the ocean

    Cast your soul to the sea

    When the dark night seems endless

    Please remember me

     

    Though we share this humble path, alone

    How fragile is the heart

    Oh give these clay feet wings to fly

    To touch the face of the stars

     

    Breathe life into this feeble heart

    Lift this mortal veil of fear

    Take these crumbled hopes, etched with tears

    We'll rise above these earthly cares

     

    Cast your eyes on the ocean

    Cast your soul to the sea

    When the dark night seems endless

    Please remember me

     

    Please remember me

    Please remember me

    Please remember me . . .

  16. This challenge was so popular two weeks ago and we have another open blog today, so I thought we'd have some more Halloween fun. It's almost here! It's a super simple challenge that helps get your creative juices flowing... write a caption for this image below that tells a story and share it in the blog comments. You have just 30 words or less to share what you think is happening in the picture. Narrate the scene, give a spooky reason why those jack-o-lantern's are clustered there, or give us a peek at the events about to happen... Are they about to get revenge for the carving? Eeek!  

     

    You tell us! 

     

    pumpkins-1586516_640.jpg

    CAPTION THIS

     

     

    Remember, authors, you can get featured in the site blogs with several author features but you have to sign up for them! 

    Story Critique: Open to all GA authors. Sign up here

    Story Recommendations:  Open to all GA authors & readers. PM your recommendation and why you recommend it to a Site Admin.

  17. Dabeagle
    Latest Entry

    There comes a point where you might look at your work and wonder how good or bad it is. You may wonder which mistakes you're making, be they grammatical or creative. Sometimes an editor or beta reader helps you catch those things, but what if it's what you intended? How much do our intentions, in the front of our mind of unconsciously, play into the final product? I'd imagine the answer is different for different writers, so I can only give you my view.

     

    One of the things I do is make teenage characters sound too old, too mature. There are some kids who act older than their age, but by and large they don't. I have kids. They aren't like my characters, except perhaps in small flashes. In fact my theory of parenting is tiny bits of wonderful surrounded by a whole lot of WTF. SO why would I write characters that aren't the norm for that age group? Well, I'll tell you why.

     

    Where do young people get a lot of information, both good and bad or just plan wrong? The internet. For all the good things, we have to accept the bad as well and the fact is you can put just about anything you like up there and some schlub will believe it. That is dangerous in a general sense, but even worse when you head toward the industry that leads the way forward in so many things - technology, online business and I'm referring to porn, of course. It's ready available, in fact you can search for something not associated with porn and still find a porn site. There are free cams that require no more than you saying that you're of age no matter how old you really are. Kids are clever, especially when it comes to satisfying those curiosities. Usually, they don't have the maturity to handle that. In my opinion, it's worse for gay kids. In a world where there are people who do all the things they do to gay people as a class, it's even worse when you're a kid. If you never wanted to tell your straight son that a VW bus full of cheerleaders wasn't going to roll into his driveway and have wild sex with him - but did because porn is all about fantasy, you did the right thing. I wish more people would talk to their kids about porn instead of just telling them no.

     

    So, then, if people talk to their straight kids about porn in a meaningful way (I'm guessing a middling percent might), how much lower are the numbers for gay kids? Where will they learn about relationships and the role sexual intimacy plays? Porn? If they did choose to read my stuff, they might find a better way. To delve into the ideas that we care about our partners, that they feel good with us and give consent to be a part of whatever is happening. Will they relate to the more mature characters? Maybe, if it's laid out logically and they can see the path it took to get there.

     

    I recall watching the Fosters on TV and someone saying to me 'They just go from the kids doing one stupid thing to another. Don't they ever learn?' I wonder how many kids it helped, and how many rolled their eyes and said 'How dumb can they be?' Hey, kids screw up. Some adults screw up more than a kid. Sometimes logic doesn't play a big role. I try to balance some of that, but in the end I want young people to take away the idea of respectful, meaningful relationships and not substitute sex for love.

     

    So my younger character will probably continue to be more mature than they should be, for the most part. But it's for a good reason.

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