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  • Renee Stevens

    Author Guess Who - #1

    By Renee Stevens

    I wanted to do something new for 2019, and what better than to start the new year off with a brand new feature. This one could be interesting as Authors were sent interview questions and had to answer them. The author's name has been omitted, and you'll have until the 26th to guess the author. The weekly wrap up on the 27th will reveal who our mystery author is. Each member gets three guesses, after that, guesses won't count. Happy guessing!         What is one thing that most GA members might not know about you?   I have never been hang gliding.   What prompted you to write your first story?   My grade 5 teacher. I’d always made up stories but she pushed me to write one.   What genre of books do you enjoy reading and have you written for that genre?   Many types are including comedy, drama, historical, horror, and science fiction. I’ve written a number of them.   Is there a genre that you haven’t written for that you would consider trying later on?   Perhaps one day historical or horror. Both would be a challenge.   What do like most about publishing on GA?   That would have to be the interaction with readers.   Do you have any unique writing habits or rituals to help you get into a writing mood?   No, nothing in particular. I do like to have a cup of coffee, however.   How has your writing style evolved over time?   Yes, it most definitely has evolved. Practice makes perfect as they say. Most people know I need a lot more practice.   Do you have a significant other?   Yes, I do.   Do you have any pets?   No, I do not have any pets. Do pet rocks count?   Do you post multi-chapter stories as you write? Do you wait until you’ve finished writing the entire story? Or is it something in between?   I prefer to write the entire story. Doing so ensures that you do not write yourself into a corner. So much less embarrassment that way.   What is your favorite television show?   Well, that’s a hard one. After much thought, I would have to say, Fortitude.   What is your favorite movie?   The Legend of Hell House   Do you write poetry? Prose? Or both?   I enjoy writing both. Each of them brings a different sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.   If you could meet one person, living or dead, who would it be?   I would enjoy meeting John Steinbeck. He is an author I much admire.   What would you say is your greatest accomplishment?   Beyond my writing, I would have to say my marriage. It means a great deal to me.  
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  • Renee Stevens

    Reviews Revisited (2014-2018)

    By Renee Stevens

    Reviews Revisited   To start the new year off, the review team thought that we'd take a look at all the reviews posted since 2014. There were a lot of wonderful reviews submitted by readers and by the review team. Reviews for stories that were part of the CSR or are no longer found on site have been omitted.  If you're curious about the review and would like to read it, simply click on the date and the link will take you to the review. Don't see your favorite story on the list? Consider writing your own review and submitting it. If you are interested in doing a review for the blog, contact @Timothy M..   A huge thank you to Timothy for taking the time to compile the list. 2018 January 8th: Classic Author Special Review - The Review Team January 22nd: Confide/ant by Sasha Distan - Lisa February 12th: Shifter by Skinnydragon - Puppilull March 12th: Predator/Prey by Parker Owens - Spikey582  April 9th: Travelling Home by podga - Timothy M. April 23rd: Boy story: The road taken by Rip Skor - Puppilull May 14th: Button by Cole Matthews - BlindAmbition June 11th: The Lilydale Leopards by Graeme - Timothy M. July 9th: How the Light Gets In by Duncan Ryder - Parker Owens July 23rd: Blood of the Neko by Craftingmom - LitLover August 13th: Losing Kevin by Ronyx - BlindAmbition September 10th: Pour Me Another by K.C. - Spikey582  October 8th: The Web by MrM - Puppilull October 22nd: Never Too Late by northie - Timothy M. November 12th: Twelve Gays of Christmas by Iomax61 - Puppilull December 10th: The Hollow Hills by Valkyrie - Cole Matthews December 24th: Favorite Christmas Story Special Review - The Review Team   2017 January 9th: Circle of Hell Stories by Sasha Distan - Puppilull January 23rd: Joined by Blood by Renee Stevens - Aditus February 13th: Secret Admirer Special Review - The Review Team April 10th: Hypnotic by Cia - Litlover May 8th: The Navigator by Cynus - Timothy M. May 22nd: Unforgivable by LitLover - Spikey582 June 12th: A Healing Heart by Lilansui - Puppillul July 10th: Rule #3 by CassieQ - William King July 24th: Premium Stories Special Review - The Review Team August 14th: Alex and Zach by Greg_A - Aditus September 11th: 9/11 by Mark Arbour - Timothy M. October 9th:  Morningstar : The Malaise by Headstall - Wicked Witch October 23rd: Miss Silver Pretty-Pink Toes by mikiesboy - AC Benus November 13th: Personal Banking by Refugium - Puppilull December 11th: Famous Barr series by AC Benus - Timothy M.   2016 January 18th: Toy Soldiers by Dabeagle - Valkyrie February 15th: Trouble Plus Trouble by Palantir - Timothy M. April 18th: MetaBattles by JohnAR - Defiance19 May 9th: Red Running Shoes by Aditus - Timothy M.  May 23rd: Song and Dance by Headstall - Litlover June 20th: Thaw by Puppilull - Timothy M. July 11th: A to Z by Parker Owens - Aditus August 8th: The Alliance by VVesley - Puppilull August 22nd: About Carl by Diogenes - Timothy M. September 12th: NaPoWriMo by Mikiesboy - Aditus October 10th: Shapeshifter by metajinx - Puppilull October 24th: MetaDeaths by JohnAR - PKCrichton November 14th: Nature Wrath Anthology Special Review - The Review Team   2015 January 19th: The English Year by Jwolf - Timothy M. February 16th: Dangerous Impulses by Greg_A - Cia March 16th: Leaving Club Leo by C James - Renee Stevens March 23rd: Meta by JohnAR - Timothy M. April 20th: Savory, Bitter and Sweet by Percy - Timothy M. May 18th: Gaymer by Dabeagle - Renee Stevens June 20th: Denn's Mobile Circus by Twisted_Dreemz - AC Benus July 20th: Bound and Bound: The Curse and the Captives by AC Benus - Valkyrie August 17th: MetaOrigins by JohnAR - Puppilull August 24th: Future Imperfect by Bill W - Atruefan September 21st: Prophylaxis by Rambling Robin - Timothy M. November 16th: Confounded by Andr0gene - Timothy M. November 23rd: MetaShadowlands by JohnAR - Litlover December 21st: Kissing the Dragon by lomax - Timothy M.   2014 January 20th: No Room In The Lodge by Joann414 - LJH (Louis Harris) February 17th: Burden of Secrets by Cia - Comicfan March 17th: Roommates by Krista - LJH (Louis Harris) March 24th: The Lake by Dolores Esteban - Joann414 May 19th: Geeks by CassieQ - Cole Matthews June 16th: Memoirs Of A Child Of The Past Century by Old Bob - Percy June 23rd: The Matchmaker is Grounded by Dark - Renee Stevens August 18th: The Game by Nephylim - Joann414 September 15th: Empath's Kiss by Andrew Todd - Renee Stevens September 22nd: Judas Tree by AC Benus - Timothy M. October 13th: Joined by Blood by Renee Stevens - Cia November 17th: Imprint by Hermit in the Cave - faxity December 8th: Misunderstandings by BigAKHorton - Timothy M. December 22nd: Gay Whales by Graeme - Renee Stevens
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Our community blogs

  1. It's Memorial Day weekend. We had a big family reunion/BBQ planned for this weekend, but, a lot of the family can't make it because of the flooding. My youngest brother and my Aunt both live between Austin and Houston and that entire area is in VERY bad shape. Plus, in the last few days they have had some terrible tornadoes there as well. So, the entire weekend kind of got cancelled. It's a real bummer because I was really looking forward to seeing the extended family.

     

    It's given me some more free time to work on my story. It's coming along pretty good. I think it's a pretty good story, but, I am biased of course. I am trying to make it a very character driven story with an interesting and unique premise. I am a bit worried about the amount of sex in the story. There isn't much and it doesn't go into great detail. I want to publish it on GA and Nifty, but, I am wondering whether or not it will appeal to these audiences since it has so little sex. But, at the same time, because it has ANY gay sex in it, the story really doesn't appeal to the mass market. I am afraid I am writing a story that no one will want to read. It's a little discouraging, but, I am trying not to think about it too much. My goal is just to finish the story. That will be a major accomplishment for me. I will be very disappointed if only 2 or 3 people read it, but, oh well, it's not like I am trying to make money I am just trying to tell a story.

     

    I am spending quite a bit of time on the GA chat in the evenings. It's pretty interesting. I have also discovered the PROMPTS. I am committed to writing a quick blurb on the next FIRST LINE PROMPT. Pretty scared, but, excited about it.

     

    That's enough verbal vomit for now.

     

    Take care,
    Cody

  2. Whenever I dream of a new monster, I feel compelled to write about it here. Which, odd, but I'll own it.

     

    Now I don't recall all the details of how this worked, but the dream started as a mystery that I was apparently trying to solve. Bodies were piling up in the town I lived in. And, weirdly, even though the bodies did not look much alike, they seemed to share the same DNA. Or, at least, partly shared DNA. Sort of a chimera. At least, half of them did. The other half were simply murder victims, obviously murdered by the chimera, but the chimeras had no real cause of death, They just...stopped.

     

    Helping me in my inquiries was a young, blonde woman from some Nordic country (I'm not certain which). Let's call her Annika. She aided me not because she was qualified, but because she'd been at the scene of one too many of the crimes for it to be a total coincidence, but she was certainly not the culprit, proved by physical, metaphysical, and even video evidence. She claimed that her twin brother, long dead, was manifesting around her and attacking random strangers. Indeed, the chimera DNA was very close to her own, close enough to have been a match for her brother, although why the bodies didn't share his face and where they came from in the first place was still a mystery.

     

    Sadly, much of this middle parts of this story are lost to my memory, but for some reason we wound up trapped in a locked house scenario. And, as in all such scenarios, people began dropping like flies. Naturally, Annika was nearby with all of them, but I too saw one or two of them. And what I saw astounded me. Out of thin air, her brother would spring into being, and suddenly attack another person. Usually with a knife. And because they were caught totally by surprise and off guard, his first stroke was fatal. Then, after, he would stiffen, the face would change utterly, and his body would collapse. Dead. Annika, meanwhile, was not helpful, curling into a ball and getting as far out of the line of fire as she could get.

     

    This would obviously not do.

     

    I was a minor spell caster in this dream, and conducted a seance to contact her brother. Nothing. Then I did another spell, one that would allow me to see into the spirit world (probably taking some pills in the process, which made real me nearly wake up in horror). Annika assisted in the first, but not the second. So she was not aware I could see what was happening the next time her "brother" appeared. Didn't know I could see her spell take shape, form a body out of random ether, and see her consciousness channel through that construct. It wasn't her brother's spirit killing people. It was her, forcing his body to form again and again while she controlled it to kill. I dismissed the construct next time it started to form, knocking her back into her own body and throwing her off for a moment, which I used to place a magical lock on her abiltiies. She smiled. "My brother tried that too, you know." She told me. "Just before I killed him. Turns out, if you kill your own twin, their echo stays with you. And you can force the doppelganger into existence."

     

    Someone else had showed her how to do it, because he too had killed his own twin, and had found in her an apt pupil. Right up until he became the first victim of the current murder spree.

     

    She then fought the binding, and used the innate connection she had to her twin to put her magical abilities into another spirit, evading my lock. I managed to shut down the doppelgangers as fast as she formed them, but let it distract me too much. Because she had a knife too, all this time. And managed to confuse me so much with the magical attacks I forgot to watch the physical.

  3. Cole Matthews
    Latest Entry

    Someone asked what my Monster Cookie recipe is. Here it is! As you can see, it's gluten free so I can make them for my mom!

     

    3 eggs
    1 1/4 cups light brown sugar
    1 cup white sugar
    1/2 tsp salt
    1 tsp vanilla
    1 1/2 cups peanut butter (cheap brand works best. The expensive type that separates won't work right.)
    1 stick butter
    1 cup M&M's or chocolate chips
    1/2 cup chopped peanuts
    1/2 cup Craisins, or raisins
    2 tsp baking soda
    5 cups quick-cooking oatmeal

     

    Cream sugars and softened butter. Add eggs and vanilla and continue creaming. Then add peanut butter and blend. In a separate bowl, add salt, oatmeal, soda, and other ingredients. Mix the wet and dry ingredients together mixing well. Then let the mixture sit for an hour. This step is necessary to let the oatmeal soften. Place a portion the size of a walnut on the baking sheet and press down. Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for around eight to ten minutes. Pull before the centers brown completely. Let rest before removing and putting on wax paper on a cookie rack.

     

    Enjoy!

  4. Hello Everyone,

     

    First I want to apologize for my long absence. As I have said in man posts and conversations these last few years I have, in addition to working full time, have been taking care of an elderly, sick, relative. This relative passed away in February. Since then I have been assisting my mother and aunt in getting her final affairs settled.

     

    Despite the sadness of m relatives passing my life has reached a period of calm and I am happy to say that I have started writing again, slowly but surely.

     

    I plan to focus on Indiana Summer until the story is complete, then Max and Josh, and while I do not yet have a firm date as to when I will have a new chapter out to you it is my goal to have one within the next month.

     

    I want to encourage you all to please go and mark the Indiana Summer Discussion thread for updates as I will be making posts there concerning the story and my progress in writing.

     

    best wishes,
    Owl

  5. NOT MEANT TO BE

     

    You wanted to talk about the night sky
    And the moonlight on the lake
    While he was swatting at a mosquito on his leg
    And wondering when you’d shift
    Your head heavy with poetry
    That was causing pins and needles in his arm

  6. So, you've decided that you want to write something in a world that doesn't yet exist. In front of you sits a pad of paper and a stack of post-its an inch thick.

     

    Where do you begin?

     


    There are two broad schools of world building.

     

    The top-down approach.
    The bottom-up approach.

     

    Both techniques have their advantages and disadvantages.

     

    Bottom-up: This is used when you have an idea for a place, character, or thing and you want to find a way to incorporate it into a wider world. This lets you focus on the immediate vicinity in much higher detail, you can develop the cast of characters, the street names, the local histories, the things your story will interact with immediately while hand-waving a lot of the why or how. If you don't see the story leaving the city it's in what's the point in knowing the currency of a country way over on the other side of the world, unless of course it becomes important to the plot, then you just write it in.

     

    Advantages: A quicker start-up, immediate results, a focused setting.
    Disadvantages: Easy to introduce inconsistencies, over-focus.

     


    Top-down: This is used when you have a general idea for a setting and you want to flesh it out. It allows you to build a strong foundation for your story where the many pieces fit together seamlessly. It allows you to stray from your storys local comfort zone without worrying about what they'll find out there. You'll know the climate, the geography, and history of the setting as a whole before narrowing your focus to a regional or local level.

     

    Advantages: Better integration, internal consistency.
    Disadvantages: Slow start-up, lack of focus.

     


    Which of these is the best? It depends entirely upon the individual, and the ultimate goal of the worldbuilding exercise.

     

    There is of course a third option.

     

    The Combined Approach: This uses elements of both top-down and bottom-up. It allows little pockets of focused setting within a broader consistent world. It's also probably the hardest method to pull off successfully as it can quickly become overwhelming.

     


    Personally I tend to use a predominantly top-down approach, but I discovered worldbuilding through pen-and-paper games, I like to build settings in which to set various stories, rather than having a story I want to tell and needing somewhere for it to happen.

     

    I've got notebooks and sketchbooks filled with hastily scribbled notes, intricate maps, lists of seemingly random words. And somewhere within all that detritus is a world or two that would actually function as reasonable setting, I just need to get it onto paper in an intelligible way.

  7. I'm back, getting my creative juices flowing and trying to earn discreetly online.

     

    A lot has been happening at home and it's been driving me up the wall. It hasn't been the most pleasant experience and it makes me sad that I've been on and off with all my projects mainly because I'm in hiding with my family.

     

    But, I refuse to just stop and give up. I keep holding onto these little bits of myself that I feel matter. In the society I'm in, creativity is a waste of time most of the time. It's rather half-assed. I'd like to believe in the potential of a creative and adaptive mind.

     

    I'm definitely brooding something personal. Fights and arguments with my folks just fuel this fire to just be better than all of them, and hopefully step on them when the time comes. I've lost most sympathies for them, which I didn't plan and yet can't help but feel.

     


    So I came back with a few story updates. I'd been revising the flow and pacing for some of them, so I hope they're to your liking. I posted updates to my long-running series A Frigid Grasp and His Happiness. So have a read and enjoy! I'm aiming for weekly updates so please follow the stories if you enjoy them.

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    Recent Entries

    lofie
    Latest Entry

    I'm so fucking impatient
    i can't stand it

     

    today was iight
    i found out that m did acid in the 70's
    like a lot of acid
    So that was interesting
    it made me like her more
    we're like two degenerates masquerading as proper people

     

    im so excited
    I'm waiting for chapter 2 of she loves me to go up
    And I'm almost done fixing chapter 9
    i still have to rewrite the ending
    and when that's done
    I'll have completed a story
    a whole story
    all by myself
    so excited

  8. blog-0404829001459389218.jpeg

     

    Various Artists

     

    1. Angel In The Snow - A-ha (Brian's Love Song; Main Theme)
    2. Snowflake - Kate Bush (Snowflake's Theme)
    3. Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap (Jimmy's Theme)
    4. Euphoria - TV Mania (Sabrina's Troubles)
    5. Instant Crush - Various Covers of Daft Punk  (The Struggle of Love At First Sight) 
    6. Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order (Love is Complicated)
    7. Love Comes Quickly - Pet Shop Boys (Jimmy's Mulberries)
    8. Love's Easy Tears - Cocteau Twins (Losing Snowflake)
    9. The Main Man - Jason Nevins (Snowflake Takes San Francisco)
    10. My Beautiful Friend - The Charlatans UK (A Circus of First Times) 
    11. The Sodom And Gomorrah Show (San Diego and Las Vegas)
    12. Fever - Superpitcher (Love In The Loft)
    13. Somebody Else - The 1975 (Love On The Rocks)
    14. Hunting High And Low - Silje Nergaard Cover of A-Ha (Hunting High and Low)
    15. Melting Ice - Ladytron (Brian and Snowflake Reconnect Through Training and the First Big Race)
    16. Winter Is The Warmest Season (When it's cold outside, it's the warmest season)
    17. The Sun Always Shines On TV (Extended) (The Olympics!....But Something Isn't Right)
    18. In Your Face - The Children of Bodem (Fighting for the One You Love)
    19. Colder - Charon (Russian Games)
    20. One Minute More (Elektromekanik Mix) - Capital Cities (Getting Away From It All)
    21. More Than This -1000 Maniacs cover of Roxy Music (Romance In Helsinki)
    22. The Northern Lights - Duran Duran (Club DTM and Flying North)
    23. Sweet Baby - BAATHHAUS (Naked Under The Angelsong)
    24. Say It - Bliss Nova (‘I can only say it once.’)
    25. Sacra - Apocolyptica (The Lapland)
    26. Ascent (An Ending) II - Icebreaker (The Forever White Under the Phosphorescent Sky)
    27. Missing - Arcadia ('Now I Am Falling')
    28. Lightning Crashes (Acoustic) - Live ("Be Ready To Catch Me")
    29. A Thousand Years - Christina Peri (True Love Never Dies: Snowflake's Love Song)
    30. Angel In The Snow (Instrumental) - A-Ha   (Snowflakes)
     
    Lyrics
    ~~~~~~~~~~~
     
    Angel In The Snow - A-ha 
        (Brian's Love Song; Main Theme)
     
    Angel, angel of snow
    Wherever you may go
    Hmm, yeah...
    I'll follow
    Wherever you may go:
     
    And always will I be there
    Shake worries from your hair
    Hmm, yeah...
    I'll be there
    Always: 
     
    Oh, Angel, angel of snow
    Wherever you may go
    Hmm, yeah...
    I'll follow
    Wherever you may go:
     
    You're my angel in the snow
    You're my angel in the snow
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Snowflake - Bertie McIntosh & Kate Bush (Snowflake's Theme)
     
    I was born in a cloud...
     
    Now I am falling.
    I want you to catch me.
    Look up and you'll see me.
    You know you can hear me.
     
    The world is so loud. Keep falling. I'll find you.
     
    We're over a forest.
    There's millions of snowflakes.
    We're dancing.
     
    The world is so loud. Keep falling and I'll find you.
     
    I am ice and dust. I am sky.
    I can see horses wading through snowdrifts.
    My broken hearts, my fabulous dances.
    My fleeting song, fleeting.
     
    The world is so loud. Keep falling. I'll find you.
     
    My broken hearts, my fabulous dance.
    My fleeting song.
    My twist and shout.
    I am ice and dust and light. I am sky and here.
    I can hear people.
    I think you are near me now.
     
    The world is so loud. Keep falling. I'll find you.
     
    We're over a forest.
    It's midnight at Christmas.
     
    The world is so loud. Keep falling. I'll find you.
     
    I think I can see you.
    There's your long, white neck.
     
    The world is so loud. Keep falling. I'll find you.
     
    Now I am falling.
    Look up and you'll see me.
     
    The world is so loud. Keep falling. I'll find you.
     
    In a moment or two.
    I'll be with you.
     
    The world is so loud. Keep falling. I'll find you.
     
    Be ready to catch me.
     
    The world is so loud. Keep falling. I'll find you.
     
    ~catch~
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap (Jimmy's Theme)
     
    Sweet disposition
    Never too soon
    Oh, reckless abandon
    Like no one's watching you
     
    A moment of love
    A dream
    A laugh
    A kiss
    A cry
    Our rights
    Our wrongs
    A moment of love
    A dream
    A laugh
    A moment of love
    A dream
    A laugh
     
    So stay there
    'Cause I'll be coming over
    While our blood's still young
    It's so young, it runs
    Won't stop 'til it's over
    Won't stop to surrender
     
    Songs of desperation
    I played them for you
     
    A moment of love
    A dream
    A laugh
    A kiss
    A cry
    Our rights
    Our wrongs
    A moment of love
    A dream
    A laugh
    A moment of love
    A dream
    A laugh
     
    Stay there
    'Cause I'll be coming over
    While our blood's still young
    It's so young, it runs
    Won't stop 'til it's over
    Won't stop to surrender
     
    Won't stop 'til it's over
    Won't stop 'til it's over
    Won't stop 'til it's over
    Won't stop to surrender
     
    [repeating over the next verse 'til the end:]
    A moment of love
    A dream
    A laugh
    A kiss
    A cry
    Our rights
    Our wrongs
    A moment of love
    A dream
    A laugh
    A moment of love
    A dream
    A laugh
     
    Won't stop 'til it's over
    Won't stop 'til it's over
    Won't stop 'til it's over
     
    Won't stop to surrender
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Euphoria - TV Mania (Sabrina's Troubles)
     
    They are able to simulate the exact brain patterns
    The grey world of reality
     
    Euphoria
     
    Random joy
    Expensive toy
    You captivate my mind
    I never answer telephones
    Don't like to leave my screen alone
     
    Try to stand but fall again
    No help from my new friend
    Tangled strands of DNA
    Explain the way that I behave
     
    Euphoria
     
    Floating through this fatal bliss
    I have no time to think
    Don't want to wake up in the world
    out of focus fading away
     
    Dilated pupil REM
    I freeze a single frame
    From the life I used to lead
    Before altered reality
     
    Euphoria...
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Instant Crush - Daft Punk 
        (The Struggle of Love At First Sight) 
     
    [Verse 1]
    I didn't want to be the one to forget
    I thought of everything I'd never regret
    A little time with you is all that I get
    That’s all we need because it's all we can take
     
    One thing I never seem the same when your around
    I don’t believe in him—his lips on the ground
    'I will not to take you to that place in a rush
    But no one gives us any time anymore'
     
    He ask me once if I'd look in on his dog
    You made an offer for it, then you ran off
    I got this picture of us kids in my head
    And all I hear is the last thing that you said
     
    [Pre Chorus]
    "I listened to your problems
    Now listen to mine"
    I didn't want to anymore, oh oh oh
     
    [Chorus]
    And we will never be alone again
    'Cause it doesn't happen every day
    Kinda counted on you being a friend
    Can I give it up or give it away
    Now I thought about what I wanna say
    But I never really know where to go
    So I chained myself to a friend
    'Cause I know it unlocks like a door
     
    And we will never be alone again
    'Cause it doesn't happen every day
    Kinda counted on you being a friend
    Can I give it up or give it away
    Now I thought about what I wanna say
    But I never really know where to go
    So I chained myself to a friend
     
    Sing more again
     
    [Verse 2]
    It didn't matter what they wanted to see
    He thought he saw someone that looked just like me
    The summer memory that just never dies
    We worked too long and hard to give it no time
    He sees right through me, it's so easy with lies
    Cracks in the road that I would try and disguise
    He runs his scissor at the seem in the wall
    He cannot break it down or else he would fall
     
    One thousand lonely stars hiding in the cold
    Take it, I don't wanna sing anymore
     
    [Pre Chorus]
    "I listened to your problems
    Now listen to mine"
    I didn't want to anymore, oh oh oh
     
    [Chorus]
    And we will never be alone again
    'Cause it doesn't happen every day
    Kinda counted on you being a friend
    Can I give it up or give it away
    Now I thought about what I wanna say
    But I never really know where to go
    So I chained myself to a friend
    'Cause I know it unlocks like a door
     
    And we will never be alone again
    'Cause it doesn't happen every day
    Kinda counted on you being a friend
    Can I give it up or give it away
    Now I thought about what I wanna say
    But I never really know where to go
    So I chained myself to a friend
    'Cause I know it unlocks like a door...
     
    I don't understand, don't get upset
    That I'm not with you
    We’re swimming around,
    It's all I do, when I'm with you
     
    [Chorus]
    And we will never be alone again
    'Cause it doesn't happen every day
    Kinda counted on you being a friend
    Can I give it up or give it away
    Now I thought about what I wanna say
    But I never really know where to go
    So I chained myself to a friend
    'Cause I know it unlocks like a door
     
    And we will never be alone again
    'Cause it doesn't happen every day
    Kinda counted on you being a friend
    Can I give it up or give it away
    Now I thought about what I wanna say
    But I never really know where to go
    So I chained myself to a friend
    'Cause I know it unlocks like a door
     
    Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order (Love is Complicated)
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
     
    Every time I think of you
    I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue
    It's no problem of mine
    But it's a problem I find
    Living a life that I can't leave behind
    But there's no sense in telling me
    The wisdom of the fool won't set you free
    But that's the way that it goes
    And it's what nobody knows
    Well every day my confusion grows
     
    Every time I see you falling
    I get down on my knees and pray
    I'm waiting for that final moment
    You say the words that I can't say
     
    I feel fine and I feel good
    I'm feeling like I never should
    Whenever I get this way
    I just don't know what to say
    Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
    I'm not sure what this could mean
    I don't think you're what you seem
    I do admit to myself
    That if I hurt someone else
    Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be
     
    Every time I see you falling
    I get down on my knees and pray
    I'm waiting for that final moment
    You say the words that I can't say (x)
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
    Love Comes Quickly - Pet Shop Boys (Jimmy's Mulberries)
     
    Sooner or later, this happens to everyone
    To everyone
     
    (To Brian)
    You can live your life lonely
    Heavy as stone
    Live your life learning
    And working alone
    Say this is all you want
    But I don't believe that it's true
    'Cause when you least expect it
    Waiting round the corner for you...
     
    Love comes quickly, whatever you do
    You can't stop falling (Ooh ooh)
    Love comes quickly, whatever you do
    You can't stop falling (Ooh ooh)
     
    (To Snowflake)
    You can live a life of luxury
    If that's what you want
    Taste forbidden pleasures
    Whatever you want
     
    You can fly away to the end of the world
    But where does it get you to?
    'Cause just when you least expect it
    Just what you least expect...
     
    Love comes quickly, whatever you do
    You can't stop falling (Ooh ooh)
    Love comes quickly, whatever you do
    You can't stop falling (Ooh ooh)
     
    I know it sounds ridiculous, but speaking from experience
    It may seem romantic, and that's no defense
    Love will always get to you
     
    Sooner or later, sooner or later, this happens to everyone
    To everyone
     
    You can fly away to the end of the world
    But where does it get you?
     
    Love comes quickly, whatever you do
    You can't stop falling (Ooh ooh)
    Love comes quickly, whatever you do
    You can't stop falling (Ooh ooh)
    Love comes quickly, whatever you do
    You can't stop falling (Ooh ooh)
    (Oooh)
     
    Love comes quickly, whatever you do
    You can't stop falling (Ooh ooh)
    Love comes quickly, whatever you do
    You can't stop falling (Ooh ooh)
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Love's Easy Tears - Cocteau Twins
         (Losing Snowflake)
     
    Love, without him
    She ought to know he owns himself
    Love, without him
    She ought to know
     

    Gee, how many loved her man
    How he could have done that he lived so loved
    The phone rang
    Die, so long, so love
    Yea, man, joys of love said them

     

    Love, without him
    She ought to know he owns himself
    Love, without him
    She ought to know

     

    Gee, how many loved her man
    How he could have done that he lived so loved
    The phone rang
    Die, so long, so love
    Yea, man, joys of love said them

     

    Joys of love had the cat on the couch these days
    Don't go leave me out
    Every stuffy day I go home
    Plus you don't know love

     

    Gee, how many loved her man
    How he could have done that?
    He lived so loved
    The phone rang
    Die, so long, so love
    Yea, man, joys of love said them
    (Please, please, please)

     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    The Main Man - Jason Nevins 
        (Snowflake Takes San Francisco)
     
    Heyo Heyo
     
    I'm the main man
    I'm the main man
     
    Mommy's all right, Mommy's all right 
    She's a natural born whore who's just out of sight 
    Mommy's all right, Mommy's all right 
    She's a natural born whore who's just out of sight 
     
    Hey 
    I'm the main man
    I'm the main man 
     
    Hey 
    I'm the main man 
     
    Hey 
    I'm the main man, I'm the main man, I'm the main man 
     
    Mommy's all right, Mommy's all right 
    She's a natural born whore who's just out of sight 2x 
     
    Hey x3 
    I'm the main man x3 
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    My Beautiful Friend - The Charlatans UK 
        (A Circus of First Impressions) 
     
    My Beautiful Friend
    I will pay attention don't say this is the end
    I find it hard to describe you
    To point and discover you
    Could I tell you once again
     
    Oh, My Beautiful Friend
    Let me sleep and I will feed you when you're hungry
    4 Ever live inside of me
    Thru the holes in the pockets of my clothes
    High as high as an angel
    I will stand there beside you
    Love is all we need
     
    Oh, My Beautiful Friend
    Oh, My Beautiful Friend
     
    My Beautiful Friend
    I swear I adore you
    Ain't no woman deep enough
    I don't know how we made it this far dear
    Without losing at least an ear
    I could leave us, I could leave us a painting
    Our lives are-a-changing
    So it goes
     
    I couldn't and I wouldn't want to change you
    Don't you know it I can save you
    I will do all of this on my
    Very own
     
    Oh, My Beautiful Friend
    Oh, My Beautiful Friend
     
    Do you ever get this feeling
    We're Supposed to carry on
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    The Sodom And Gomorrah Show - Pet Shop Boys
        (San Diego and Las Vegas)
     
    Sun, sex, sin, divine intervention
    Death and destruction
    Ladies and gentlemen
    Welcome to The Sodom And Gomorrah show
     
    I lived a quiet life
    A stranger to champagne
    I never dared to venture out
    To cities of the plain
     
    I heard about their way of life
    Took it with a pinch of salt
    The freedom and the time to play
    A life so easy, it intrigued me
    When you called to say
     
    "Are you gonna go
    To the Sodom And Gomorrah Show?
    It's got everything you need for your complete
    Entertainment and instruction
     
    Sun, sex, sin, divine intervention
    Death and destruction
    The Sodom And Gomorrah show
    Is a once in a lifetime production"
     
    I think it's true to say
    My life was changed that night
    In the liberated atmosphere
    All around me, someone found me
    Whispered in my ear
     
    "Are you gonna go
    To the Sodom And Gomorrah Show?
    It's got everything you need for your complete
    Entertainment and instruction
     
    Sun, sex, sin, divine intervention
    Death and destruction
    The Sodom And Gomorrah Show
    Is a once in a lifetime production"
     
    Then we went on after hours
    There was place, down below
    It was there I realized
    The meaning of the show
     
    You've got to love to learn to live
    Where angels fear to tread
    I did it and I don't regret the day
    Even now, I think of how
    You turned to me to say
     
    Sun, sex, sin, death and destruction
    Sun, sex, sin, death and destruction
     
    Are you gonna go
    (Sun, sex, sin, death and destruction)
    Sodom And Gomorrah
    (Sun, sex, sin, death and destruction)
     
    Are you gonna go
    To the Sodom And Gomorrah show?
    It's got everything you need for your complete
    Entertainment and instruction
     
    Sun, sex, sin, divine intervention
    Death and destruction
    The Sodom And Gomorrah Show
    Is a once in a lifetime production
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Fever - Superpitcher (Love In The Loft)
     
    Never know how much I love you
    Never know how much I care
    When you put your arms around me
    I get a fever that's so hard to bear
     
    You give me fever
    When you kiss me
    Fever when you hold me tight
    Fever! in the morning
    Fever all through the night
     
    Sun lights up the daytime
    Moon lights up the night
    I light up when you call my name
    And you know I'm gonna treat you right
     
    You give me fever
    When you kiss me
    Fever when you hold me tight
    Fever! in the morning
    Fever all through the night
     
    Everybody's got the fever
    That is something you all know
    Fever isn't such a new thing
    Fever started long ago
     
    Romeo loved Juliet
    Juliet, she felt the same
    When he put his arms around her 
    He said, "Julie, baby, you're my flame
     
    "Thou giveth fever
    "When we kisseth
    "Fever with thy flaming youth
    "Fever! I'm afire
    "Fever, yea, I burn, forsooth."
     
    Cap'n Smith and Pocahontas 
    Had a very mad affair
    When her daddy tried to kill him
    She said, "Daddy, oh, don't you dare!
     
    "He gives me fever
    "With his kisses
    "Fever when he holds me tight
    "Fever! I'm his missus
    "Daddy, won't you treat him right?"
     
    Now you've listened to my story
    Here's the point that I have made
    Boys were born to give you fever
    Be it Fahrenheit or Centigrade
     
    They give you fever
    When you kiss them
    Fever if you live and learn
    Fever! till you sizzle
    What a lovely way to burn
    What a lovely way to burn
    What a lovely way to burn
    What a lovely way to burn
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Somebody Else - The 1975 (Love on the Rocks)
     
    So I heard you found somebody else
    And at first I thought it was a lie
    I took all my things that make sounds
    The rest I can do without
     
    I don't want your body
    But I hate to think about you with somebody else
    Our love has gone cold
    You're intertwining your soul with somebody else
     
    I'm looking through you while you're looking through your phone
    And then leaving with somebody else
    No, I don't want your body
    But I'm picturing your body with somebody else
     
    Come on baby
    This ain't the last time that I'll see your face
    Come on baby
    You said you'd find someone to take my place
     
    I just don't believe that you have got it in you 'cause
    We are just gonna keep 'doin' it' and everytime
    I start to believe in anything you're saying
    I'm reminded that I should be getting over it
     
    I don't want your body
    But I hate to think about you with somebody else
    Our love has gone cold
    You're intertwining your soul with somebody else
     
    I'm looking through you while you're looking through your phone
    And then leaving with somebody else
    No, I don't want your body
    But I'm picturing your body with somebody else
     
    I don't want your body, I don't want your body
    I don't want your body, I don't want your body
    I don't want your body, I don't want your body
     
    Get someone you love?
    Get someone you need?
    Fuck that, get money
    I can't give you my soul 'cause we're never alone
    Get someone you love?
    Get someone you need?
    Fuck that, get money
    I can't give you my soul 'cause we're never alone
    Get someone you love?
    Get someone you need?
    Fuck that, get money
    I can't give you my soul 'cause we're never alone
    Get someone you love?
    Get someone you need?
    Fuck that, get money
    I can't give you my soul 'cause we're never alone
     
    I don't want your body
    But I hate to think about you with somebody else
    Our love has gone cold
    You're intertwining your soul with somebody else
     
    I'm looking through you while you're looking through your phone
    And then leaving with somebody else
    No, I don't want your body
    But I'm picturing your body with somebody else
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Hunting High And Low - Silje Nergaard cover of A-ha
            (Hunting High And Low)
     
    Here I am
     
    And within the reach of my hands
    He's sound asleep and he's sweeter now
    Than the wildest dream could have seen him
    And I Watch him slipping away
    Though' I know I'll be hunting high and low
     
    High
     
    There's no end to the lengths I'll go to
    Hunting high and low
     
    High
     
    There's no end to lengths I'll go
    To find him again
    Upon this my dreams are depending
     
    Through the dark
    I sense the pounding of his heart
     
    Next to mine
     
    He's the sweetest love I could find
    So I guess I'll be hunting high and low
     
    High
     
    There's no end to the lengths I'll go to
    Hunting High and Low
     
    High
     
    Do you know what it means to love
    I'm hunting high and low
    And now he's telling me he's got to go away
    I'll always be hunting high and low
     
    Hungry for you
     
    Watching me tearing myself to pieces
    Hunting high and low
     
    High
     
    There's no end to the lengths I'll go to
    Oh, for you I'll be hunting high and low
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Melting Ice - Ladytron 
            (Brian and Snowflake Reconnect Through Training and 
            the First Big Race)
     
    Sailing to a distant port
    To meet your reflection on some desert shore
    Running up the coast
    I walk through a mirror and out of your ghost
     
    Hide you not seek you or flee here I must
    Before you can melt down my iceberg of trust
     
    Passing clouds hold on to shadows
    Melting ice leaves nowhere to go
     
    Sailing to a distant port
    To meet your reflection on some desert shore
    I tried to keep your heart
    Burning down bridges to break from the past
     
    Hide you not seek you or flee here I must
    Before you can melt down my iceberg of trust
     
    Passing clouds hold on to shadows
    Pouring light on ancient shipwrecks
    Passing clouds hold on to shadows
    Melting ice leaves nowhere to go
     
    Driving through the rain
    I sell all my wishes to play the odd game
     
    Hide you not seek you or flee here I must
    Before you can melt down my iceberg of trust
     
    Passing clouds hold on to shadows
    Melting ice leaves nowhere to go
     
    Passing clouds hold on to shadows
    Pouring light on ancient shipwrecks
    Passing clouds hold on to shadows
    Pouring light on ancient shipwrecks
    Passing clouds hold on to shadows
    Melting ice leaves nowhere to go
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Winter Is The Warmest Season
            (When it's cold outside, it's the warmest season of all)
     

    Love takes a long time
    And healing is slow
    He patiently waits
    As years go by
    And he's still waiting

     

    With ice on the next life
    I'm not looking back in time
    As feelings change
    Worries still remain here

     

    December snows down with love
    And then you see me
    When it's cold outside
    It's the warmest season

     

    I need you by my side
    So don't go away
    I'm keeping here
    Worries from a past life

     

    When many Decembers
    Come down to a few
    What's left undone
    Will matter for a life time

     

    December snows down with love
    And then you see me
    When it's cold outside
    It's the warmest season (X)

     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    The Sun Always Shines On TV (Extended)
            (The Winter Olympics!....But Something Isn't Right)
     
    ~ A Kiss for Luck ~
     
    Touch me
    How can it be
    Believe me
    The sun always shines on TV
    Hold me
    Close to your heart
    Touch me
    And give all your love to me
    To me
     
    ~ The Starter Gun Fires ~
     
    I reached inside myself and found
    Nothing there to ease the
    Pressure of my ever worrying mind
    All my powers waste away
    I fear the crazed and lonely
    Looks the mirror's sending me these days
     
    ~ Something Happens! ~
     
    Touch me
    How can it be
    Believe me
    The sun always shines on TV
    Hold me
    Close to your heart
    Touch me
    And give all your love to me
     
    ~ Snowflake Takes to the Snow ~
     
    Please don't ask me to defend
    The shameful lowlands of the way I'm drifting
    Gloomily through time
    I reached inside myself today
    Thinking there's got to be some way
    To keep my troubles distant
     
    ~ The Relay Is Exchanged ~
     
    Touch me
    How can it be
    Believe me
    The sun always shines on TV
    Hold me
    Close to your heart
    Touch me
    And give all your love to me
     
    ~ VICTORY! ~
     
    To me
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    In Your Face - The Children of Bodem 
            (Fighting for the One You Love)
     
    GO!
     
    Don't be sheltered hear the noise
    You are the answer their fucking poise
    But, oh, my god, you're so fine
    You seize the rogue and flesh divine
     
    One look at me, what do you see?
    Another junkie like a fucking dead beat
    Ask your eyes, they discriminate
    You're soft... no time to waste
     
    The discrimination animosity
    Your fault to ignore reality
    What you will a way to fight
    Get one thing all there is to die
     
    I don't give a flying fuck motherfucker
    I don't give a flying fuck motherfucker
    I don't give a flying
    I don't give a flying
    I don't give a flying fuck
     
    One step away from having a fit
    With the parting of my soul don't work with my shit
    Did hear I'm crazy, yes, I do
    So fuck the father and fuck you too
     
    Incoming!
     
    They want the world
    I don't dare you... (bring it on)
    It's my world you're in it
    It'll take you down in a minute
     
    If you've not done you'll look
    Diversify your ranks
    But the truth... seems like
    A big scythe in your face
     
    One look at me - what do you see?
    Another junkie and a fucking dead beat
    Ask your eyes they descriminate
    You're soft and no time to waste
     
    The descrimination animality
    Your fault to ignore reality
    What you will a way to fight
    Get one thing all there is to die
     
    I don't give a flying fuck motherfucker
    I don't give a flying fuck motherfucker
    I don't give a flying
    I don't give a flying
    I don't give a flying fuck
     
    Incoming!
     
    They want the world
    I don't dare you... bring it on
    It's my world you're in it
    It'll take you down in a minute
     
    If you've not done you'll look
    Diversify your ranks
    But the truth... seems like
    A big scythe in your face
     
    Incoming
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Colder - Charon (Russian Games)
     
    Come along with the whispering cold and fall
    They left you nothing more to seek from here
    So roll the feast in flames unforgettable
    Take a bow to end, reload your remorse
    Every line is thorn bite through your eyes
    Still remains the everlasting hope for a bitter war
     
    If it has made you colder turning your life for justice
    They have learned to obey
    Broken the rules I followed, burning for name so hollow
    I will learn to obey
     
    Among the weak and heartless I can breath the air veiled just like them
    Still remains the everlasting hope for a bitter war
     
    If it has made you colder turning your life for justice
    They have learned to obey
    If it has made you colder
    They have learned to obey
    Broken the rules I followed
    I will learn to obey
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    One Minute More (Elektromekanik Mix) - Capital Cities
            (Getting Away From It All)
     
    Don't wait for an invitation
    No need for reservation
    This life is an exploration
    And you gotta see what I see in you
     
    I can't wait one minute more
    The sun will shine
    The sun does shine
    We can't wait one minute more
    The sun does shine
    The sun does shine
     
    Just think of the destination
    I'll be your transportation
    We'll find there's a kind of place
    That can only be seen with a naked mind
     
    I can't wait one minute more
    The sun will shine
    The sun does shine
    We can't wait one minute more
    The sun does shine
    The sun does shine
     
    There's a key that opens a door
    Will you find it and turn it?
    Take your time, don't take too long
    There's a map that's washed ashore
    Will you find it and burn it?
     
    I can't wait one minute more
    The sun does shine
    The sun does shine
    We can't wait one minute more
    The sun does shine
    The sun does shine
     
    I can't wait one minute more
    The sun does shine
    The sun does shine
    We can't wait one minute more
    The sun does shine
    The sun does shine
     
    Unleash your imagination
    Two stars, one constellation
    Bright lights just to guide the way
    Can you see what I see in you?
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    More Than This - 10000 Maniacs cover of Roxy Music
    (Romance In Helsinki)
     
    I could feel at the time
    There was no way of knowing
    Fallen leaves in the night
    Who can say where they're blowing
    As free as the wind
    And hopefully learning
    Why the sea on the tide
    Has no way of turning
     
    More than this, there is nothing
    More than this, tell me one thing
    More than this, there is nothing
     
    It was fun for a while
    There was no way of knowing
    Like dream in the night
    Who can say where we're going
    No care in the world
    Maybe I'm learning
    Why the sea on the tide
    Has no way of turning
     
    More than this, there is nothing
    More than this, tell me one thing
    More than this, there is nothing
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    The Northern Lights - Duran Duran 
            (Club DTM and Flying North)
     
    Looking up from the polar sheet
    Out in the stars there's one I want to meet
    I am a signal somewhere in your Bliss
    So do you hear, do you hear my wish?
     
    You coming down now... from there?
    You coming round now... to share?
    You got a thing that...
    I care, I care about, I care about
     
    If you want to stay tonight
    Write your name across the sky
    Nothing I would rather like
    Than see you in the Northern Lights
     
    Up on the roof I listen for the moan
    Of your soft footstep on the snow
    Now and then somebody else's glow
    As they tune in to watch the show
     
    You coming down now... from there?
    You coming round now... to share?
    You got a thing that...
    I care, I care about, I care about
     
    If you want to stay tonight
    Write your name across the sky
    Nothing I would rather like
    Than see you in the Northern Lights
    If you want to play the night
    We could take an evening flight
    Shine out from a higher height
    Then we'll be in the Northern Lights
     
    If you want to stay tonight
    Write your name across the sky
    Nothing I would rather like
    Than see you in the Northern Lights
    If you want to play the night
    We could take an evening flight
    Shine out from a higher height
    Then we'll be in the Northern Lights
     
    Write your name across the sky
    Write your, write your name
    Write your name across the sky
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Sweet Baby - BAATHHAUS (Naked Under The Angelsong)

     

    your hair is sweaty 

    you drip on me 

    i soak it all up 

    you smell sweet to me 

     

    we dance instead of sleeping 

    do you feel like sleeping? 

     

    in my bed i feel you breathing (oh) 

    in my head i see you leaving (oh) 

     

    pump pump sweet baby 

    sweat pump sweet baby 

    (sweat dripping on the floor 

    i'm looking at you like before) 

     

    you pull me close 

    drinks crash to the floor 

    i reach for you, you reach for me 

    i feel you feel me feeling you 

     

    heavy in my hand your heartbeat 

    (beat, beat, beat, beat, beat, beat, beat, beat) 

    heavy in my hand your heartbeat--do you have a heart? 

    (beat, beat, beat, beat, beat, beat, beat, beat) 

     

    in my bed i feel you breathing (oh) 

    in my head i see you leaving (oh) 

     

    pump pump sweet baby 

    sweat pump sweet baby 

    (sweat dripping on the floor 

    i'm looking at you like before) 

     

    come to my bed tonight 

    don't say you need me 

    cuz i won't believe you 

    i won't believe you 

     

    pump pump sweet baby 

    sweat pump sweet baby 

    (sweat dripping on the floor 

    i'm looking at you like before) 

     

    don't wanna see you leavin baby 

    (sweet sweet sweet sweet babe) 

    and i wanna be believin baby 

    (sweet sweet sweet sweet babe) 

    don't wanna see you leavin 

    baby please

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Say It - Bliss Nova (‘I can only say it once.’)

     

    Come and say it to me

    I’ve waited such a long time

    Hold me ‘til I can’t breathe

    Let me look you in the eyes

    And then let me hear you Say It!

     

    (Chorus)

    Feels like you love me

    Feels like you want me

    I feel it when you touch me

    Feel it when you touch me!

    Do you really want me?

    Baby do you want me?

    It feels like you love me

    But you never Say It. (X)

     

    Come and break it to me

    Gotta give some sign

    Baby come and know me

    Baby this is real life

    So let me hear you Say It!

     

    (Chorus)

     

    Say It . . .

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Sacra - Apocolyptica (The Lapland)
     
    (Instrumental)
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Ascent (An Ending) II - Icebreaker
            (The Forever White Under the Phosphorescent Sky)
     
    (Instrumental)
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Missing - Arcadia ('Now I Am Falling')
     
    And as I wandered down to where you lay
    the blood rushed up to meet the roses
    in your hair
    I thought I saw you smile
     
    But now I don't see you anywhere
     
    Whispering your love song in my ear
    how can you touch me
    when you're not really here?
     
    Stumbling out, I made my way towards the open door
    climbing fast the sun broad streaming
    laughter down into your empty gaze
     
    Where can I find you?
    now I want to join in your game
     
    I hear you calling
    I hear you ... calling (calling calling calling calling calling)
     
    Whispering your love song in my ear
    how can you touch me?
    how do you really dare?
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Lightning Crashes (Acoustic) - Live 
            ("Be Ready To Catch Me")
     
    Lightning crashes a new mother cries
    Her placenta falls to the floor
    The angel opens her eyes
    The confusion sets in
    Before the doctor can even close the door
     
    Lightning crashes an old mother dies
    Her intentions fall to the floor
    The angel closes her eyes
    The confusion that was hers
    Belongs now to the baby down the hall
     
    Oh now feel it, comin' back again
    Like a rollin', thunder chasing the wind
    Forces pullin' from
    The center of the earth again
    I can feel it.
     
    Lightning crashes a new mother cries
    This moment she's been waiting for
    The angel opens her eyes
    Pale blue colored iris
    Presents the circle
    And puts the glory out to hide, hide
     
    Oh now feel it, comin' back again
    Like a rollin', thunder chasing the wind
    Forces pullin' from
    The center of the earth again
    I can feel it.
     
    Oh why?
     
    Oh now feel it, comin' back again
    Like a rollin', thunder chasing the wind
    Forces pullin' from
    The center of the earth again
    I can feel it.
     
    Oh now feel it, comin' back again
    Like a rollin', thunder chasing the wind
    Forces pullin' from
    The center of the earth again
    I can feel it.
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    A Thousand Years - Christina Perri
            (True Love Never Dies: Snowflake's Love Song)
     
    The day we met
    Frozen, I held my breath
    Right from the start
    I knew that I'd found a home for my
     
    Heart 
     
    Beats fast
    Colors and promises
    How to be brave?
    How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?
    But watching you stand alone,
    All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow.
     
    One step closer
     
    I have died every day waiting for you
    Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you
    For a thousand years
    I'll love you for a thousand more
     
    Time stands still
    Beauty in all he is
    I will be brave
    I will not let anything take away
    What's standing in front of me
    Every breath
    Every hour has come to this
     
    One step closer
     
    I have died every day waiting for you
    Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you
    For a thousand years
    I'll love you for a thousand more
     
    And all along I believed I would find you
    Time has brought your heart to me
    I have loved you for a thousand years
    I'll love you for a thousand more
     
    One step closer
    One step closer
     
    I have died every day waiting for you
    Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
    For a thousand years
    I'll love you for a thousand more
     
    And all along I believed I would find you
    Time has brought your heart to me
    I have loved you for a thousand years
    I'll love you for a thousand more
     
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Angel In The Snow (Acoustic Instrumental) - A-Ha
            (Snowflakes)
     
    ~catches~
  9. Johnathan Colourfield
    Latest Entry

    So I was searching for stuff to actually do over summer because i'mma have 14 weeks with not much to do.

     

    Then i saw a thing for a summer school in London, and I applied. And I gots it!

     

    I'm going to be an Arts Activity Leader (Drama, Art, Music) at a centre in central London - and I get accomodation! A whole summer in London :D How amazing is that gonna be? :D

     

    Also, they asked me to interview for a Management position - which is scary. They've asked me to interview for Welfare and Accomodation Officer, which is the second in command! :o I only report to the Center Manager and the CEO of the company...

     

    All because i knew about Safeguarding and Behaviour Management principles and been on a course last week about them.

     

    I mean it's only seasonal work, but considering the work that I am in, it is fluctuating anyway with no work during the summer holidays. Note - We don't have a 14 week summer in the UK, just that they've told me supply teachers basically don't get work in Term 6 (June-July), so it would be a good idea to search for work in that period anyway. Which i've done!

     

    So new summer job - either Activity Leader or Welfare and Accomodation Officer :D Then in September, back to my regular Supply job.

     

    Life is good. Terminally single. But good :D

     

    **

     

    By the way - I LOVE my supply teaching job - so much variety and different subjects, groups and schools. Really my sort of thing. I'm going to be in a school for 7 weeks, as a Resident Instructor - which means i've got 4 days guaranteed work a week for a short period. And if i don't like the school, I'm basically done with them after 2 months lol

     

    Means i'm going to be even more busy than I normally am, but who cares! It's work and money to pay for stuff I want LOL

     

    Like my doctorate...

  10. Dark
    Latest Entry

    I hadn't realized it's been 3 years since I updated this blog. :P

     

    If you didn't know, I moved back home to Alaska in 2013. I was at my parents' place in Anchorage for about a month before I shipped out to a little place called Chevak. About a 30-minute plane ride from the Bering Sea, I taught at a one-building school housing grades pre-K to 12th. My responsibility was science, grades 8-12.

     

    I enjoyed myself for the most part, but the job there was stressful and a 7-day a week position, especially that first year when I was working with the junior class fundraising almost every weekend on top of designing three new classes. After two years I decided I had had enough of the administration and the teacher in-fighting and came home to Anchorage.

     

    It occurred to me today that I am finally over my ex. We split way back in 2007, though we occasionally hung out for a couple years after that. Then he went home to Ohio and I decided it was high time I went back home, too. It took me two years of planning and saving, but I made it happen. I was looking at my files for the Ask an Author feature of the GA Blog when I looked over some questions directed at me. I've not felt comfortable enough answering them, but I've decided it's time.

     

    I've been through a lot in the past 9 years and gained some perspective and time has healed some wounds. My ex begged me to visit last summer, so I did. I realized within a week what a mistake it was. He's still manipulative, selfish, and determined to live like a frat boy ... but I'm a stronger person than I was when we were together. It just hit me today that I'm done with that mess. I have finally moved past it, and it's like this weird, bulky weight lifted off my shoulders, like I can breathe again. The shit he put me through is done messing with my life.

     

    My physical therapist had me standing on this weird wooden board with a ball under it making me exercise my ankle and of course peppering me with questions ... and I called him my ex on purpose and without even thinking about it. And I smiled because it felt good, and I thought, Geez, what the heck have I been doing the past almost ten years? I'm asexual, so I've never been bothered by being single or not being in a relationship. Since my brother gave Mom her first grandchild last September she's been pestering me again about finding someone, but she does that to my other siblings, so I can shrug it off like the good-natured ribbing it is. She's come a long way, too, in her views, and listening when I correct her usually incorrect assumptions about GLBQTA people and ideas. Dad, well, I don't anticipate being able to talk to him honestly for some time, if ever, but he's held everyone at arms-length since he and my mom divorced last year.

     

    My best friend in the whole world is finally moving up here to Alaska and we're going to be roommates starting in the summer. Sure, I'm going to miss my wonderful view of the Chugach Mountains, but it finally occurred to me that I'm happy. While on one hand I wonder how long this has been going on without me noticing, but on the other hand ... it's about time, don't you think?

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    Link to Playlist on YouTube:

     

    ~~~

    Various Artists

    1. Iris – Future Sunsets Cover of Goo Goo Dolls (The General Theme for the Billy Chase Chronicles – Brandon Style!)
    2. Let It Happen – Tame Impala (The Shower, Brandon’s Theme)
    3. The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face – George Michael Cover of Roberta Flack (The Mall, Main Love Theme)
    4. Ask – Brothertiger Cover of The Smiths (The Library Theme)
    5. The Air That I Breathe – k.d. lang Cover of The Hollies (The First Time Billy and Brandon Make Love)
    6. Perfect Day - Duran Duran Cover of Lou Reed (Weekends with Marie)
    7. Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me) – Cockney Rebel (Brandon Smiling, AJ Frowning
    8. The Things You Said – Depeche Mode (The Breakup)
    9. The Lover After Me – Savage Garden 
      (Walking By Billy’s House At Night, Brandon’s Lament)
    10. Your Eyes Open – Keane (Brandon’s Curse)
    11. Living A Boy’s Adventure Tale – A-ha 
      (Billy’s and Brandon’s Journey Through Heart Break)
    12. Let Down – Radiohead (Brandon Descending)
    13. Brandon – William Fizsimmons (Brian, Brandon’s Father, Agonizes)
    14. How To Disappear Completely – Radiohead (The Note)
    15. Late October – Brian Eno and Harold Budd (The Bridge)
    16. You Are Young – Keane (Chandler’s Words of Salvation)
    17. White Shadows – Coldplay (What A Life is Worth)
    18. Crash and Burn – Savage Garden (Stevie to the Rescue!)
    19. Fix You – Coldplay (Stevie’s Love for Brandon)
    20. Someone Else Not Me – Duran Duran (Stevie’s Sacrifice)
    21. Ordinary World – Duran Duran (Brandon Growing)
    22. Running In Circles – Pop, ETC. (Brandon’s Struggles)
    23. Trust – The Cure (The Hill, Billy’s Plea)
    24. Chains - Brothertiger (The Hill, Brandon's Cautious Acceptance)
    25. We've Only Just Begun - Barry Manilow Cover of The Carpenters (Brandon and Billy Reunite)
    26. The One – Elton John (Brandon’s Unshakeable Commitment)
    27. Fifteen - Goldroom and Chela (Looking Back On a Special Time In Your Life)
    28. Kiss Me Like Nobody's Watching! - Simple Plan (Kissin' At The Concert)
    29. Everything - FM-84, MrM (Billy Means Everything)
    30. Half Awake - Porcelain Raft (Coming Over)
    31. Something About Us - Daft Punk (One Hot Summer Afternoon)
    32. Do Me, Baby - Prince (Brandon Giving His All)
    33. Smalltown Boy - Bronski Beat (. . . and then Billy's Mom walks in.)
    34. Tears - FM-84, MrM ('Why Can't She See All My Tears?')
    35. Talk - Coldplay (Talking To Chandler)
    36. Secret - OMD (Sharing Secrets)
    37. Leave Yourself Alone - Porcelain Raft (Brandon Accepting)
    38. True Colors - Cyndi Lauper (Chandler Helps Brandon Spread His Wings)
    39. All In My Head - Porcelain Raft (Slaying Closet Dragons)
    40. Sexy Boy - Air (Loving The Dream Boy)
    41. Innamorata Mia - Il Canguro (Mama's Love Song In Billy's Ear)
    42. Back To Us - Brothertiger (Stevie's Back)
    43. Leave A Light On - Duran Duran (Awkward Devotional)
    44. Watch How You Go - Keane (Stevie Lets Brandon Go A Second Time)
    45. Throwing Stones Aeon Rings Remix - Empathy Test, Aeon Rings (A Broken Window)
    46. Condemnation - Depeche Mode (Jimmy LaPlane Strikes Back)
    47. Stay Away - Nirvana (Brandon Defending)
    48. Caste In Steel - A-Ha (Boys Inseparable)
    49. The Scientist - Glee Cover of Coldplay (Reaffirmations and the Long Road Taken)
    50. Count On Me - Camouflage (Brandon Devoted)
    51. Insatiable - Darren Hayes (Brandon Can Never Get Enough Of Billy)

    Lyrics


    Iris – Future Sunsets Cover of Goo Goo Dolls (The General Theme for the Billy Chase Chronicles – Brandon Style!)

    And I'd give up forever to touch you

    'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

    You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

    And I don't want to go home right now

    And all I can taste is this moment

    And all I can breathe is your life

    'Cause sooner or later it's over

    I just don't wanna miss you tonight

    And I don't want the world to see me

    'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

    When everything's made to be broken

    I just want you to know who I am

    .....of who I am

    When you can't fight the tears that are coming

    Or the moment of truth in your lies

    When everything feels like the movies

    Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

    And I don't want the world to see me

    'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

    When everything's made to be broken

    I just want you to know who I am

    .....of who I am

    .....of who I am

    .....of who I am

    And I don't want the world to see me

    'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

    When everything's made to be broken

    I just want you to know who I am

    And I don't want the world to see me

    'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

    When everything's made to be broken

    I just want you to know who I am

    I just want you to know who I am

    I just want you to know who I am

    I just want you to know who I am


    Let It Happen – Tame Impala (The Shower, Brandon’s Theme)

    It's always around me, all this noise

    But, not really as loud as the voice saying

    Let it happen, let it happen (It's gonna feel so good)

    Just let it happen, let it happen

    All this running around

    Trying to cover my shadow

    An ocean growing inside

    All the others seem shallow

    All this running around

    Bearing down on my shoulders

    I can hear an alarm

    Must be morning

    I heard about a whirlwind that's coming 'round

    It's gonna carry off all that isn't bound

    And when it happens, when it happens (I will be holding on)

    So let it happen, let it happen

    All this running around

    I can't fight it much longer

    Something's trying to get out

    And it's never been closer

    If my ticker fails

    Make up some other story

    And if I never come back

    Tell my father I'm sorry...

    I do not vanish

    You will not scare me

    Try to get through me

    Try to push through me

    You are now thinking

    That I will not do it

    Maybe your love is true

    And I am just stupid

    Take the next ticket

    To take the next train

    Why would I do it?

    And you want to think that....

    ....Maybe I don't want to be all alone

    Or Maybe I was ready all along

    Oh Baby, All I ever wanted was

    The sound of our mending

    I was ready all along.


    The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face – George Michael Cover of Roberta Flack (The Mall, Main Love Theme)

    The first time ever I saw your face

    I thought the sun rose in your eyes

    And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave

    To the dark and the empty skies, my love

    To the dark and the empty skies

    The first time ever I kissed your mouth

    I felt the earth move in my hands

    Like the trembling heart of a captive bird

    That was there at my command, my love

    That was there...

    And the first time ever I lay with you

    And felt your heart so close to mine

    And I knew our joy would fill the earth

    And last 'till the end of time, my love

    It would last 'till the end of time

    The first time ever I saw your face

    Your face, your face


    Ask – Brothertiger Cover of The Smiths (The Library Theme)

    Shyness is nice, but

    Shyness can stop you

    From doing all the things in life

    You'd like to

    Shyness is nice, but

    Shyness can stop you

    From doing all the things in life

    You'd like to

    But, if there's something you'd like to try

    If there's something you'd like to try

    Ask me, I won't say no, how can I?

    Coyness is nice, but

    Coyness can stop you

    From saying all the things in

    Life you'd like to

    But, if there's something you'd like to try

    If there's something you'd like to try

    Ask me, I won't say no, how can I?

    Spending warm summer days indoors

    Writing frightening verse

    To a buck-toothed girl in Luxembourg

    Ask me, ask me, ask me

    Ask me, ask me, ask me

    Because

    If it's not love

    Then it's the bond, the bond, the bond, the bond, the bond, the bond, the bond

    That will bring us together

    Nature is a language, can't you read?

    Nature is a language, can't you read?

    Ask me, ask me, ask me

    Ask me, ask me, ask me

    Because

    If it's not love

    Then it's the bond, the bond, the bond, the bond, the bond, the bond, the bond

    That will bring us together

    If it's not love

    Then it's the bond

    Then it's the bond

    That will bring us together

    Together

    Ask me, ask me, ask me

    Ask me, ask me, ask me

    Because

    Oh, la, la, la, la, la

    La, la, la, la

    La, la, la, la

    La, la, la, la

    La, la, la, la

    La, la, la, la

    La, la, la, la

    La, la, la, la


    The Air That I Breathe – k.d. lang Cover of The Hollies

    (The First Time Billy and Brandon Make Love)

    If I could make a wish, I think I'd pass

    Can't think of anything I need

    No cigarettes, no sleep, no light, no sound

    Nothing to eat, no books to read

    Making love with you has left me peaceful, warm and tired

    What else could I ask, there's nothing to be desired

    Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak

    So sleep, silent angel, go to sleep

    Sometimes —

    All I need is the air that I breathe and to love you

    All I need is the air that I breathe and to love you

    All I need is the air that I breathe ...

    Making love with you has left me peaceful, warm and tired

    What more could I ask, there's nothing to be desired

    Sometimes —

    All I need is the air that I breathe and to love you

    All I need is the air that I breathe and to love you

    All I need is the air that I breathe ...

    Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak

    So sleep, silent angel, go to sleep

    Sleep, silent angel, go to sleep ...


    Perfect Day - Duran Duran Cover of Lou Reed (Weekends with Marie)

    Just a perfect day

    Drink Sangria in the park

    And then later

    When it gets dark, we go home

    Just a perfect day

    Feed animals in the zoo

    Then later

    A movie, too, and then home

    Oh, it's such a perfect day

    I'm glad I spent it with you

    Oh, such a perfect day

    You just keep me hanging on

    You just keep me hanging on

    Just a perfect day

    Problems all left alone

    Weekenders on our own

    It's such fun

    Just a perfect day

    You made me forget myself

    I thought I was

    Someone else, someone good

    Oh, it's such a perfect day

    I'm glad I spent it with you

    Oh, such a perfect day

    You just keep me hanging on

    You just keep me hanging on

    You're going to reap just what you sow

    You're going to reap just what you sow

    You're going to reap just what you sow

    You're going to reap just what you sow


    Make Me Smile (Come Up and See Me) – Cockney Rebel

    (Brandon Smiling and AJ Frowning)

    You've done it all, you've broken every code

    And pulled the rebel to the floor

    You spoilt the game, no matter what you say

    For only metal - what a bore!

    Blue eyes, blue eyes

    How come you tell so many lies?

    Come up and see me, make me Smile

    Or do what you want, running wild

    There's nothing left, all gone and run away

    Maybe you'll tarry for a while

    It's just a test, a game for us to play

    Win or lose, it's hard to Smile

    Resist, resist

    It's from yourself you have to hide

    So, come up and see me, make me Smile

    Or do what you want, running wild

    There ain't no more, you've taken everything

    From my belief in Mother Earth

    How can you ignore my faith in everything?

    'Cause i know what faith is and what it's worth

    Away, away

    And don't say maybe you'll try

    To come up and see me, make me Smile

    Or do what you want, running wild......


    The Things You Said – Depeche Mode (The Breakup)

    I heard it from my friends

    About the things you said

    I heard it from my friends

    About the things you said

    But they know me better than that

    They know me better than that

    They know my weaknesses

    I never tried to hide them

    They know my weaknesses

    I never denied them

    I heard it from my friends

    About the things you said

    I heard it from my friends

    About the things you said

    How can a view become so twisted?

    How can a view become so twisted?

    They know my weaknesses

    I never tried to hide them

    They know my weaknesses

    You tried them

    I get so carried away

    You brought me down to earth

    I thought we had something precious

    Now I know what it's worth

    I heard it from my friends

    About the things you said

    I heard it from my friends

    About the things you said

    I've never felt so disappointed

    Never felt so disappointed

    They know my weaknesses

    I never tried to hide them

    They know my weaknesses

    You thought that you liked them

    They know me better than that


    The Lover After Me – Savage Garden

    (Walking By Billy’s House At Night, Brandon’s Lament)

    Here I go again I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today

    It's been seven months and counting

    You've moved on

    I still feel exactly the same

    It's just that everywhere I go all the buildings know your name

    Like photographs and memories of love

    Steel and granite reminders

    The city calls your name and I can't move on

    Ever since you've been gone

    The lights go out the same

    The only difference is

    You call another name

    To your love

    To your lover now

    To your love

    The lover after me

    Am I all alone in the universe?

    There's no love on these streets

    I have given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyway

    So this is my new freedom

    It's funny

    I don't remember being chained

    But nothing seems to make sense anymore

    Without you I'm always twenty minutes late

    Ever since you've been gone

    The lights go out the same

    The only difference is

    You call another name

    To your love

    To your lover now

    To your love

    The lover after me

    And time goes by so slowly

    The nights are cold and lonely

    I shouldn't be holding on

    But I'm still holding on for you

    Here I go again

    I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today

    But I'm standing at your doorway

    I'm calling out your name because I can't move on

    Ever since you've been gone

    The lights go out the same

    The only difference is

    You call another name

    To your love

    To your lover now

    To your love

    The lover after me

    Oh no, no no!

    To your love

    To your lover now

    The lover after me

    The lover after me


    Your Eyes Open – Keane (Brandon’s Curse)

    Well it's a lonely road that you have chosen

    Morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore

    And it's a long time since your heart was frozen

    Morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore

    For a moment your eyes open and you know

    All the things I ever wanted you to know

    I don't know you, and I don't want to

    Till the moment your eyes open and you know

    That it's a lonely place that you have run to

    Morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore

    And it's a lonely end that you will come to

    Morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore

    For a moment your eyes open and you know

    All the things I ever wanted you to know

    I don't know you, and I don't want to

    Till the moment your eyes open and you know

    For a moment your eyes open and you know

    All the things I ever wanted you to know

    I don't know you, and I don't want to

    Till the moment your eyes open and you know


    Living A Boy’s Adventure Tale – A-ha

    (Billy’s and Brandon’s Journey Through Heart Break)

    (Agonized Calling)

    (Brandon)

    I've fixed my dwelling for the night

    Lights in pairs come passing by

    where I hide

    I'll need some time now on my own

    Leave my loneliness alone

    To lick my wounds

    Night has found me just in time

    to help me close my eyes

    one more time

    Living a boy's adventure tale

    In so many ways

    Living a boy's adventure tale

    For so many days

    I'm living a boy's adventure tale

    Can't escape, if I wanted to

    Living a boy's adventure tale

    I may be dreaming but I feel awake

    (Billy)

    I've been lost in so many places

    Seeking love in so many faces

    A change of weather,

    the rain pours down

    My head in hands,

    pressed to the ground

    And where am I supposed to go now?

    Living a boy's adventure tale

    In so many ways

    Living a boy's adventure tale (aah)

    Living a boy's adventure tale

    a voice I hear

    Living a boy's adventure tale

    Singing a lullaby for me

    (Both)

    Living a boy's adventure tale

    Because of you

    Living a boy's adventure tale

    Oh you know it's true

    I'm living a boy's adventure tale

    In so many ways (aah)

    For so many days

    I love you. I love you

    So many ways

    (Agonized Calling)


    Let Down – Radiohead (Brandon Descending)

    Transport

    Motorways and tramlines

    Starting and then stopping

    Taking off and landing

    The emptiest of feelings

    Disappointed people

    Clinging onto bottles

    And when it comes it's so so disappointing

    Let down and hanging around

    Crushed like a bug in the ground

    Let down and hanging around

    Shell smashed, juices flowing

    Wings twitch legs are going

    Don't get sentimental

    It always ends up drivel

    One day I am gonna grow wings

    A chemical reaction

    Hysterical and useless

    Hysterical and....

    ....Let down and hanging around

    Crushed like a bug in the ground

    Let down and hanging around

    Let down and hanging

    Let down and hanging

    Let down and hanging

    You know, you know where you are with

    You know where you are with

    Floor collapsing, floating

    Bouncing back and....

    ....One day I am gonna grow wings

    A chemical reaction

    (You know where you are)

    Hysterical and useless

    (You know where you are)

    Hysterical and

    (You know where you are)

    Let down and hanging around

    Crushed like a bug in the ground

    Let down and hanging around


    Brandon – William Fizsimmons (Brian, Brandon’s Father, Agonizes)

    I could love you

    I would sew the seeds again

    If you take down

    Your justified defense

    If they chase you

    Because you are not the same

    I will run too

    And call you by your name

    Have I only let you down

    May I lay beside you now

    In the backyard

    Where they tore your clothes away

    So you scrubbed at

    The blood to wash away

    Have I only let you down

    May I lay beside you now (x2)


    How To Disappear Completely – Radiohead (The Note)

    That there, that's not me

    I go where I please

    I walk through walls

    I float down the Liffey

    I'm not here

    This isn't happening

    I'm not here, I'm not here

    In a little while

    I'll be gone

    The moment's already passed

    Yeah, it's gone

    I'm not here

    This isn't happening

    I'm not here, I'm not here

    Strobe lights and blown speakers

    Fireworks and hurricanes

    I'm not here

    This isn't happening

    I'm not here, I'm not here....

    AHHHHHHHH.......HuHHHhhh...


    Late October – Brian Eno and Harold Budd (The Bridge)

    (Somber Interlude)


    You Are Young – Keane (Chandler’s Words of Salvation)

    Fearful child have faith in brighter days

    Stay until this darkness fades away

    Lie still beside me

    I'll hold you now, I'll hold you forever

    Winter's hand will freeze your heart again

    Doors will close, no time to start again

    Nothing is given

    Except the ties that hold us together

    Lay down your load

    'Cause every day it's gonna grow

    And bask in the sunshine

    Try to pay no mind

    Try to pay no mind at all

    To all the things that you don't know

    You've got time to realize you're shielded by the hands of Love

    'Cause you are young

    Fading light may make a fool of me

    Courage fails, strengths slip away from me

    Lie still beside me

    And hold me now, and hold me forever

    Lay down your load

    'Cause every day it's gonna grow

    These days are sacred

    Hey now, don't be scared

    Baby, don't be scared at all

    Of all the things that you don't know

    You've got time to realize you're shielded by the hands of Love

    'Cause you are young

    You've got time, you've got to try

    To bring some good into this world

    'Cause you are young

    'Cause you are young

    Oh-oh-oh...

    'Cause you are young


    White Shadows – Coldplay (What A Life is Worth)

    When I was a young boy I tried to listen

    And I want to feel like that

    Little white shadows blink and I missed 'em

    Part of a system, I am

    If you ever feel like something's missing

    Things you'll never understand

    Little white shadows sparkle and glisten

    Part of a system, a plan

    All this noise, I'm waking up

    All this space I'm taking up

    All this sound is breaking up

    Whoa oh

    Maybe you'll get what you wanted

    Maybe you'll stumble upon it

    Everything you ever wanted

    In a permanent state

    Maybe you'll know when you see it

    Maybe if you say it you'll mean it

    And when you find it you'll keep it

    In a permanent state

    A permanent state

    When I was a young boy I tried to listen

    Don't you want to feel like that

    You're part of the human race

    All of the stars and the outer space

    Part of the system, the plan

    All this noise, I'm waking up

    All this space I'm taking up

    I cannot hear, you're breaking up

    Whoa oh

    Maybe you'll get what you wanted

    Maybe you'll stumble upon it

    Everything you ever wanted

    In a permanent state

    Maybe you'll know when you see it

    Maybe if you say it, you'll mean it

    And when you find it you'll keep it

    In a permanent state

    A permanent state

    Swimming on a sea of faces

    A tide of the human race

    So, an answer now is what I need

    I see it in the new sun rising

    I see it break on your horizon

    Oh come on love, stay with me

    Stay with me

    Stay with me

    Stay with me


    Crash and Burn – Savage Garden (Stevie to the Rescue!)

    When you feel all alone

    And the world has turned its back on you

    Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart

    I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you

    It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold

    When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

    Let me be the one you call

    If you jump I'll break your fall

    Lift you up and fly away with you into the night

    If you need to fall apart

    I can mend a broken heart

    If you need to crash then crash and burn

    You're not alone

    When you feel all alone

    And a loyal friend is hard to find

    You're caught in a one way street

    With the monsters in your head

    When hopes and dreams are far away and

    You feel like you can't face the day

    Let me be the one you call

    If you jump I'll break your fall

    Lift you up and fly away with you into the night

    If you need to fall apart

    I can mend a broken heart

    If you need to crash then crash and burn

    You're not alone

    'Cause there has always been heartache and pain

    And when it's over you'll breathe again

    You'll breathe again

    When you feel all alone

    And the world has turned its back on you

    Give me a moment please

    To tame your wild wild heart

    Let me be the one you call

    If you jump I'll break your fall

    Lift you up and fly away with you into the night

    If you need to fall apart

    I can mend a broken heart

    If you need to crash then crash and burn

    You're not alone


    Fix You – Coldplay (Stevie’s Love for Brandon)

    When you try your best, but you don't succeed

    When you get what you want, but not what you need

    When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep

    Stuck in reverse

    And the tears come streaming down your face

    When you lose something you can't replace

    When you love someone, but it goes to waste

    Could it be worse?

    Lights will guide you home

    And ignite your bones

    And I will try to fix you

    And high up above or down below

    When you're too in love to let it go

    But if you never try you'll never know

    Just what you're worth

    Lights will guide you home

    And ignite your bones

    And I will try to fix you

    Tears stream down your face

    When you lose something you cannot replace

    Tears stream down your face and I...

    Tears stream down your face

    I promise you I will learn from my mistakes

    Tears stream down your face and I...

    Lights will guide you home

    And ignite your bones

    And

    ...I will try to fix you


    Someone Else Not Me – Duran Duran (Stevie’s Sacrifice)

    Now while the beat is slow

    Here in your arms I sway

    Now that the light is low

    Something I want to say

    I guess you've known it for a while

    But I mean trouble

    I only want to see you Smile

    And I burst this bubble

    The hardest thing is to let go

    When love is real...

    Like a flower loves a bee

    But I know you're meant to give yourself to someone else

    Not me

    And I could carry on with you

    Does that sound crazy?

    I think you feel the same way too

    And you can't face it

    The hardest thing is to let go

    But it's not defeat

    When you set somebody free

    And I know you're meant to be yourself with someone else

    Not me

    Can you let go?

    'Cause that's love that's real

    Like a flower loves a bee

    And you know you're meant to give yourself to someone else

    Not me

    Somebody else not me

    Meant for somebody else not me

    Somebody else not me


    Ordinary World – Duran Duran (Brandon Growing)

    Came in from a rainy Thursday on the avenue

    Thought I heard you talking softly

    I turned on the lights, the TV, and the radio

    Still I can't escape the ghost of you

    What has happened to it all?

    Crazy some say

    Where is the life that I recognize?

    Gone away

    But I won't cry for yesterday

    There's an ordinary world

    Somehow I have to find

    And as I try to make my way

    To the ordinary world

    I will learn to survive

    Passion or coincidence once prompted you to say

    "Pride will tear us both apart"

    Well now prides gone out the window

    Cross the rooftops, run away

    Left me in the vacuum of my heart

    What is happening to me?

    Crazy some say

    Where is my friend when I need you most?

    Gone away

    But I won't cry for yesterday

    There's an ordinary world

    Somehow I have to find

    And as I try to make my way

    To the ordinary world

    I will learn to survive

    Papers in the roadside tell of suffering and greed

    Feared today, forgot tomorrow

    Besides the news of holy war and holy need

    Ours is just a little sorrowed talk

    And I don't cry for yesterday

    There's an ordinary world

    Somehow I have to find

    And as I try to make my way

    To the ordinary world

    I will learn to survive

    Every world is my world

    (I will learn to survive)

    Any world is my world

    (I will learn to survive)

    Any world is my world

    Every world is our world


    Running In Circles – Pop, ETC. (Brandon’s Struggles)

    Every time I run, every time I run

    Where do I end up?

    Back at the start, staring back at you

    Right where we left off

    But the harder I am pushed

    The easier it gets to forget

    All the reasons why I could never find

    The words to explain this

    Oh, we came so close

    It felt so close we could taste it

    But there's nothing left to do

    There's nothing we can do if we face it

    It's part of me

    It's part of you, but it's wasted

    No, there's nothing left to do

    There's nothing we can do to replace it

    Now I'm running in circles without you

    I'm running in circles without you

    I'm running in circles without you

    I'm running in circles without you

    I can see your eyes, I can see your eyes

    Looking for new life

    Where there once was a heart, some kind of beat

    Now is it complete?

    No matter how many times

    I tell myself it was right

    Every day I know I can only play

    This way to lose the fight

    Oh, we came so close

    It felt so close we could taste it

    But there's nothing left to do

    There's nothing we can do if we face it

    It's part of me

    It's part of you, but it's wasted

    No, there's nothing left to do

    There's nothing we can do to replace it

    Now I'm running in circles without you

    I'm running in circles without you

    I'm running in circles without you

    I'm running in circles without you

    I'm running in circles without you

    I'm running in circles without you

    I'm running in circles without you

    I'm running in circles without you


    Trust – The Cure (The Hill, Billy’s Plea)

    There's no-one left in the world

    That i can hold onto

    There is really no-one left at all

    There is only you

    And if you leave me now

    You leave all that we were

    Undone

    There is really no-one left

    You are the only one

    And still the hardest part for you

    Is to put your trust in me

    I love you more than i can say

    Why won't you just believe? (x2)


    Chains - Brothertiger (The Hill, Brandon's Heart is Turned)

    We can go to the other side

    Take me as I am tonight

    Tell me what you want to do

    I don't know where to begin

    Losing hold of you again

    Hoping we can make this through

    And it's true

    I'd say

    That there's an emptiness between us today

    It's up to you

    If I stay

    But there's a feeling that I just can't take

    And so I might walk away when I get caught up

    It's all for you when I give my love

    To tell the truth I can say that things aren't quite the same

    Maybe we can break the chains that are holding you down

    Because it's you I want to be around

    I'll follow through with all the decisions I have made

    I can't seem to understand

    Why you feel so different

    I wonder why you act this way

    Can I reach the top of it?

    I'm running out of innocence

    Hoping it will end someday

    And it's true

    I'd say

    There's a connection still between us today

    It's up to you

    If I stay

    And there's a feeling that I just can't shake

    And so I might walk away when I get caught up

    It's all for you when I give my love

    To tell the truth I can say that things aren't quite the same

    Maybe we can break the chains that are holding you down

    Because it's you I want to be around

    I'll follow through with all the decisions I have made

    (Break, Break the chain and I'll remain!)

    (Break, Break the chain and I'll remain!)

    (Break, Break the chain and I'll remain!)

    (Break, Break the chain and I'll remain!)


    We've Only Just Begun - The Carpenters (Billy and Brandon Reunite)

    We've only just begun to live

    White lace and promises

    A kiss for luck and we're on our way

    (We've only begun)

    Before the risin' sun, we fly

    So many roads to choose

    We'll start out walkin' and learn to run

    (And yes, we've just begun)

    Sharing horizons that are new to us

    Watching the signs along the way

    Talkin' it over, just the two of us

    Workin' together day to day

    Together

    And when the evening comes, we smile

    So much of life ahead

    We'll find a place where there's room to grow

    (And yes, we've just begun)

    Sharing horizons that are new to us

    Watching the signs along the way

    Talkin' it over, just the two of us

    Workin' together day to day

    Together

    Together

    And when the evening comes, we smile

    So much of life ahead

    We'll find a place where there's room to grow

    And yes, we've just begun


    The One - Elton John (Brandon’s Unshakeable Commitment)

    I saw you dancing out the ocean

    Running fast along the sand

    A spirit born of earth and water

    Fire flying from your hands

    In the instant that you love someone

    In the second that the hammer hits

    Reality runs up your spine

    And the pieces finally fit

    And all I ever needed was The One

    Like freedom fields where wild horses run

    When stars collide like you and I

    No shadows block the sun

    You're all I've ever needed

    Baby you're The One

    There are caravans we follow

    Drunken nights in dark hotels

    When chances breathe between the silence

    Where sex and love no longer gel

    For each man in his time is Cain

    Until he walks along the beach

    And sees his future in the water

    A long lost heart within his reach

    And all I ever needed was The One

    Like freedom fields where wild horses run

    When stars collide like you and I

    No shadows block the sun

    You're all I've ever needed

    Oh Baby you're The One . . .


    Fifteen - Goldroom and Chela (Looking Back On a Special Time In Your Life)

    It's been a long time

    Wondering why

    The summer smells like sin and wonder

    Feels like it's

    Gone inside of

    A place and time I dream about when

    I get to walkin'

    Oh let us always

    The summer sun I can't go back to

    The touch of your skin

    On my skin

    Look away these times are backwards

    I'll let you know we'll look back up in time

    But we were only fifteen

    Fifteen we're floating through the slipstream

    You're with me

    We were only fifteen

    Fifteen just floating through the slipstream

    It's been a long time

    Wondering why

    The summer smells like sin and wonder

    Feels like it's

    Gone inside of

    A place and time I dream about when

    I get to walkin'

    Oh let us always

    The summer sun I can't go back to

    The touch of your skin

    On my skin

    Look away these times are backwards

    I'll let you know we'll look back up in time

    But we were only fifteen

    Fifteen we're floating through the slipstream

    You're with me

    We were only fifteen

    Fifteen just floating through the slipstream


    Kiss Me Like Nobody's Watching! - Simple Plan (Kissin' At The Concert)

    I wanna paint it on every wall

    And shout it out up and down the halls

    I wanna post it in shining lights

    ‘Cause I just can't keep it bottled up inside

    I wanna call up every single person I know

    Write a song and play it on the radio

    Stick a message in a bottle then I'll let it go

    I don't care what people might think

    I got your name in permanent ink

    ‘Cause baby this ship ain't never gonna sink

    So kiss me

    Like nobody's watching

    Yeah people are talkin’

    It doesn't matter what they say

    Just kiss me

    In the middle of the streets

    To let the whole world see

    That there’s nobody else for me

    There’s nobody else for me

    People around us are cynical

    Go ahead and say that we're typical

    True love is dead, well that's a lie

    ‘Cause we'll be together ‘til the end of time

    Now I'm burnin’ up I'm speaking in tongues

    Listen to my heart it's beating like a drum

    I'm screaming your name at the top of my lungs

    I don't care what people might think

    I got your name in permanent ink

    ‘Cause baby this ship ain't never gonna sink

    So kiss me

    Like nobody's watching

    Yeah people are talkin’

    It doesn't matter what they say

    Just kiss me

    In the middle of the streets

    To let the whole world see

    That there’s nobody else for me

    There’s nobody else for me

    I wanna call up every single person I know

    Write a song and play it on the radio

    I don't care what people might think

    I got your name in permanent ink

    ‘Cause baby this ship ain't never gonna sink

    So kiss me

    Like nobody's watching

    Yeah people are talkin’

    It doesn't matter what they say

    Just kiss me

    In the middle of the streets

    To let the whole world see

    That there’s nobody else for me, for me

    There’s nobody else for me, for me

    There’s nobody else for me


    Everything - FM-84, MrM (Billy Means Everything)

    I Was All Alone

    A Complete Unknown

    Hidden Timidly

    In a Library

    Lonely

    Invisibly

    Reluctantly

    Eternally (x)

    Then I felt something

    That got me looking

    Which got me seeing

    And then believing

    By Trusting

    and

    Accepting

    Letting In

    And

    Letting Go

    That by not trying

    And by not looking

    And by not seeking

    I'd find Everything

    I Found Everything (x4)

    I Found

    Everything Everything Everything Everything

    Everything Everything Everything Everything (x2)

    Knowing Nothing

    And

    Everything

    Letting In

    And

    Letting Go

    I could never know

    That with every blow

    I'm bravely taking

    What I'd be gaining

    That by my stressing

    And all my praying

    And all my wanting

    And all my fighting

    I needed nothing

    To help in finding

    That one who's waiting

    That means Everything

    You Mean

    Everything Everything Everything Everything

    Everything Everything Everything Everything

    I Found

    Everything Everything Everything Everything

    Everything Everything Everything Everything

    Never Lose

    Everything Everything Everything Everything

    Everything Everything Everything Everything

    (x)

    Everything Everything Everything Everything

    Everything Everything Everything Everything

    Everything Everything Everything Everything

    Everything Everything Everything Everything . . .


    Half Awake - Porcelain Raft (Coming Over)

    Rushing all the way falling into a hole that brings me to the other side of the world

    should i come over

    since i am half awake

    i look up i put my glasses on here they are giant insects are eating the sand

    should i come over

    i think i am half awake

    people with opinions feel the need to let the public know this is the way it should be done

    i'm falling over

    need to see you again

    figure out a way to compensate a lack of meanings you thought were there but there's a hole instead

    i'm coming over

    i need to see you again

    awaaaaaaaaa a ahaaaaa

    still i'm away now

    aww haaaaaaaa

    i'm away

    ohhhh wooowwoooo ohhhh ohhhh wooowwoooo

    the desire this is still the promises hard to believe one day we will be gone

    let me come over

    need to see you again


    Something About Us - Daft Punk (One Hot Summer Afternoon)

    It might not be the right time

    I might not be the right one

    But there's something about us I want to say

    Cause there's something between us anyway

    I might not be the right one

    It might not be the right time

    But there's something about us I've got to do

    Some kind of secret I will share with you

    I need you more than anything in my life

    I want you more than anything in my life

    I'll miss you more than anyone in my life

    I love you more than anyone in my life


    Do Me, Baby - Prince (Brandon Giving His All)

    Here we are in this big old empty room

    Staring each other down

    You want me just as much as I want you

    Let's stop fooling around

    Take me baby, kiss me all over, play with my love

    Bring out what's been in me for far too long

    Baby, you know that's all I've been dreaming of

    Do me baby, like you never done before

    Ho, ooh give it to me till I just can't take no more

    C'mon, do me baby, like you never done before

    Ho, ooh, I want you now, I just can't wait no more, can't wait, oh

    Hoo, hoo, hoo, oh

    Here we are looking for a reason

    For you to lay me down

    For a love like ours is never out of season

    So baby please stop teasing me

    Ooh, what ya do, I can never love no other

    You're the best I ever had

    Whenever we're not close to one another

    I just want you so bad

    So do me baby (do me baby), like you never done before

    Ooh, give it to me till I just can't take no more

    C'mon, do me baby, like you never done before

    Ooh, I want you now, I just can't wait no more

    I said, ooh

    Ooh, ah

    Ooh, ah

    Ooh

    Do me baby, yeah, do me baby, give it to me

    Oh, oh, oh, oh, do me baby, ooh

    I want you now, ooh, yeah

    Do me baby

    Ooh, give it to me

    Do me baby, do me baby, don't want to do it all alone

    I want your love, yeah

    Do me baby

    Ooh, give it to me

    Oh, yeah, do me baby, this feeling is too strong

    Make me wait too long, I want you now

    Oh, you're leaving me no choice

    Okay, what are you gonna do, you just gonna sit there and watch

    Alright

    Are you sure you don't want to close your eyes?

    Oh

    Well, isn't it supposed to take a long time?

    I'm not gonna stop until the war is over

    Oh, help me

    There

    Okay, okay

    Oh

    I'm so cold, oh, just hold me


    Smalltown Boy - Bronski Beat (. . . and then Billy's Mom walks in.)

    To your soul

    To your soul

    Cry

    Cry

    Cry

    You leave in the morning with everything you own in a little black case

    Alone on a platform, the wind and the rain on a sad and lonely face

    Mother will never understand why you had to leave

    But the answers you seek will never be found at home

    The love that you need will never be found at home

    Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away

    Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away

    Pushed around and kicked around, always a lonely boy

    You were the one that they'd talk about around town as they put you down

    And as hard as they would try they'd hurt to make you cry

    But you never cried to them, just to your soul

    No, you never cried to them, just to your soul

    Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away (crying to your soul)

    Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away (crying to your soul)

    Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away (crying to your soul)

    Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away

    Cry, boy, cry

    Cry, boy, cry

    Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry

    Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry

    Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry

    Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry

    Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry

    Cry, boy, cry, boy, cry

    You leave in the morning with everything you own in a little black case

    Alone on a platform, the wind and the rain on a sad and lonely face

    Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away

    Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away

    Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away

    Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away

    Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away

    Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away


    Tears - FM-84, MrM ('Why Can't She See All My Tears?')

    I don't know what's really happening

    I wish that I did but I just don't

    To me this is really frightening

    It's so true and I wish it wasn't

    Now these tears have just started falling

    I just can't stop and they keep coming

    I can't hold them back though I'm trying

    Can't you see we've just been discovered

    Secrets we tried to keep well covered

    And so these tears come down unhindered

    Discovered

    Uncovered

    Unhindered

    Falling

    Trying

    Failing

    Crying

    Caught, we stand frozen and wondering

    If we freeze she won't go noticing

    How we have been secretly living

    But in her eyes I see us breaking

    Can't she know just what she has ruined

    Has she no heart to see how we loved

    Does she care or is she deluded

    The pain she's caused

    Does she see it?

    Can she see my tears?

    Does she even care

    Does she know better

    And

    Will she tell my father?

    I can't know

    I promise you that I won't go back

    I nearly died for this boy of yours

    I won't fall from this love that you lack

    You won't take what can only be ours

    See through my bitter tears your failure

    What you have done is make a killing

    What you seek to salvage you murder

    I see your heart is near to breaking

    Why

    Can't you

    See my

    Tears? (2X)

    Why won't you see my Tears?

    Why prove my darkest fears?

    You'll leave me crushed for years.

    Open up to my Tears!

    Why won't you see my Tears?

    Why prove my darkest fears?

    You'll leave me crushed for years.

    Open up to my Tears!

    (It's not Over!) (X4)

    You

    Can Stop

    Our

    Tears!

    Love

    Us more

    And quell

    Our fears

    (Believe and Let Us Be) (X)

    Why

    Won't you

    Dry my

    Tears? (X)

    (Believe and Let Us Be) (X)

    Why won't you see my Tears?

    Why prove my darkest fears?

    You'll leave me crushed for years.

    Dry away all my Tears!

    (Believe and Let Us Free) (X)

    Why won't you see my Tears?

    Why prove my darkest fears?

    You'll leave me crushed for years.

    Feel all of my Tears!

    You know it's not over.

    Why prove my darkest fears?

    You'll leave me crushed for years.

    Open up to my Tears!!

    Do you not even care?

    Why won't you see my Tears?

    You'll leave me crushed for years.

    Dry away all my Tears!


    Talk - Coldplay (Talking To Chandler)

    Oh sister, I can't, I can't get through

    I've been trying hard to reach you 'cause I don' know what to do

    Oh sister, I can't believe it's true

    I'm so scared about the future, and I wanna talk to you

    Oh, I wanna talk to you

    You can take a picture of something you see

    In the future where will I be?

    You can climb a ladder up to the sun

    Or write a song nobody has sung

    Or do something that's never been done

    Are you lost or incomplete?

    Do you feel like a puzzle, you can't find your missing piece?

    Tell me, how do you feel?

    Well, I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak

    And they're talking it to me

    So you take a picture of something you see

    In the future where will I be?

    You can climb a ladder up to the sun

    Or write a song nobody has sung

    Or do something that's never been done

    Or do something that's never been done

    So you don't know where you're going and you wanna talk

    And you feel like you're going where you've been before

    You tell anyone who'll listen, but you feel ignored

    Nothing's really making any sense at all, let's talk

    Let's talk, let's talk, let's talk


    Secret - OMD (Sharing Secrets)

    Secret.

    I've got a secret and I can't explain

    All the time I've waited for this day

    All along I was never in doubt

    I always knew it could never get out

    There are things that I cannot tell

    And there are things that you know damn well

    This is getting very hard for me

    I guess you'd better just wait and see

    Shut up!

    This is all

    This is all

    Secret.

    You heard a message and the message was clear

    All the time you wipe away that tear

    'All I want is to hold your hand

    To see the sun and walk the sand

    You make me sad as you make me glad'

    And now you see all my secret is this love (it's love...)

    My secret is this love

    Everyday you're always there

    You can't fight me

    And make me feel it's worth my while

    And then I look around and you're not there

    And every day you say you can't hang out

    Beware!

    Secret.

    This is all

    This is all

    Secret.

    I got a secret and I can't explain

    .. is this all

    All I want is to hold your hand

    .. is this all

    All along I was never in doubt

    .. is this all

    To see the sun and to walk the sand

    .. is this all Secret

    (fade)

    I got a secret and I can't explain

    All I want is to hold your hand


    Leave Yourself Alone - Porcelain Raft (Brandon Accepting Himself)

    Something about our situation

    Makes me focus on things to come

    And it doesn't matter the direction

    Ask yourself does it have a heart

    You took me aside

    Half the world is losing shape

    You keep dreaming high

    Leave Yourself Alone

    The world is ready to collapse

    Can you run fast enough?

    From where I stand it doesn't look to good now

    But had to go out and play your game

    You took me aside

    If the world is losing shape

    You keep dreaming high

    Leave Yourself Alone

    The world is ready to collapse

    Can you run fast enough?

    Ohhhh Ohhhh

    And I wonder, and I wonder now

    Just keep dreaming high

    And Leave Yourself Alone

    Leave Yourself Alone

    Leave Yourself Alone

    Leave Yourself Alone


    True Colors - Cyndi Lauper (Chandler Helps Brandon Spread His Wings)

    You with the sad eyes

    Don't be discouraged, oh I realize

    It's hard to take courage

    In a world full of people

    You can lose sight of it all

    And the darkness all inside you

    Can make you feel so small

    But I see your true colors

    Shining through

    I see your true colors

    And that's why I love you

    So don't be afraid to let them show

    Your true colors

    Your true colors are beautiful

    Like a rainbow

    Show me a Smile then

    Don't be unhappy

    Can't remember when

    I last saw you laughing

    If This world makes you crazy

    And you've taken all you can bear

    Just, call me up

    'Cause I will always be there

    And I see your true colors

    Shining through

    I see your true colors

    And that's why I love you

    So don't be afraid to let them show

    Your true colors

    True colors are beautiful

    Like a rainbow

    Call me up because you know

    I'll be there

    And I'll see your true colors

    Shining through (true colors)

    I see your true colors

    And that's why I love you

    So don't be afraid to let them show

    Your true colors

    True colors are beautiful

    Like a rainbow

    Ooh ooh ooh like a rainbow

    Ooh…


    All In My Head - Porcelain Raft (Slaying Closet Dragons)

    Look ahead, what are you afraid of?

    It's just another day, it's just another day

    It's been so long, I should have called you

    Way before I know, way before I know

    To hear your voice, to know are you alright

    Well I guess I'm not,

    But I've been told

    It's all in my head

    Are you feeling lonesome?

    Are you getting closer now,

    To disappear from anyone you know?

    Nothing to wait for, you can finally understand

    Or you, you could let it go

    Dinosaurs, buried in the ocean

    And how we've found them to be

    On earth before us

    All the things I was never supposed to say

    But I couldn't resist

    Anyway I've been told

    It's all in my head

    Are you feeling lonesome?

    Are you getting closer now

    To disappear from anyone you know

    Nothing to wait for, you can finally understand

    Or you, you could let it go


    Sexy Boy - Air (Loving The Dream Boy)

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Où sont tes héros

    Au corps d'athlète?

    Où sont tes idoles

    Mal rasés, bien habillés?

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Dans leurs yeux des dollars

    Dans leurs sourires des diamants

    Moi aussi, un jour

    Je serai beau comme un Dieu

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Apollon 2000

    Zéro défauts, vingt-et-un ans

    C'est l'homme idéal

    Charme au masculin

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy

    Sexy boy


    Innamorata Mia - (Mama's Love Song In Billy's Ear)

    Italian ballad that was Brandon's Mom's favorite


    Back To Us - Brothertiger (Stevie's Back)

    When you wake up early in the morning

    When the night turns into day

    I will have no reservation

    I have a lot I want to say

    Do you know? You have to know it.

    If you regret then you can't complain

    As it all hangs in the balance

    I will watch from far away

    Now I can see to China

    On the horizon

    It takes me Back To Us

    Why can't we be on the ride

    I didn't, I didn't forget you

    I won't waste it here tonight

    Don't let it go to my head (1x)

    Oh, it's all just imagination

    Someone tells you that you're going wrong

    I'm getting old from my frustration

    Let's pick this up and move along

    Everything that you do is magic

    That's what they said on the radio

    But, before your life becomes too tragic

    Let's find a better place to go

    Now I can see to China

    On the horizon

    It takes me Back To Us

    Why can't we be on the ride

    I didn't, I didn't forget you

    I won't waste it here tonight

    Don't let it go to my head (X)


    Leave A Light On - Duran Duran (Awkward Devotional)

    So comes the evening

    I'm out on the dunes

    Looking for a token

    Something to prove

    All I remember

    Is more than a flame

    In my fantasy fire

    Whatever I've done to receive

    Whatever I need to redeem

    Whatever you say

    Even if I wait a lifetime

    I know, I swear

    If you leave a light on

    If you leave a light on for me

    I'll come there

    You can leave a light on for me

    In comes the morning

    I'm stood in my track

    Looking at the reasons

    For me to head back

    So unexpected

    The kindness you've shown

    That I will not forget it

    Whatever I've done to receive

    Whatever I need to redeem

    Whatever you say

    Even if I wait a lifetime

    I know, I swear

    If you leave a light on

    If you leave a light on for me

    I'll come there

    You can leave a light on for me

    You breathe the will into the weak

    And coax the caged bird to fly free

    You ease the lost cause out of me

    With your sweet hand to bring me home

    I'm not alone

    I know, I swear

    If you leave a light on

    If you leave a light on for me

    I'll come there

    You can leave a light on for me

    I know, I swear

    If you leave a light on

    If you leave a light on for me

    I'll come there

    You can leave a light on for me


    Watch How You Go - Keane (Stevie Lets Brandon Go A Second Time)

    The more we rush about, the less we do

    I never saw you drift away

    The more we spin around, the less we move

    I never saw your spirit break

    I wish that I could be a journey's end

    But you are only passing through, yeah

    It's not for me to try to steal you away

    I wish you well in all you do

    Just say you'll watch how you go

    Be gracious with your light

    And may the years be kind now

    Just say you'll mind how you roam

    The things that we have shared

    Will soon be left behind now

    I hope you know that you're a graceful soul

    You fill the room with hope and light

    It's only right that you should go your way

    'Cause nothing ever lasts that long

    Just say you'll watch how you go

    Be gracious with your light

    And may the years be kind now

    Just say you'll mind how you roam

    The things that we have shared

    Will soon be left behind now

    Behind now, behind now, behind now

    Just say you'll watch how you go

    Be gracious with your light

    And may the years be kind now

    Just say you'll mind how you roam

    The things that we have shared

    Will soon be left behind now

    Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

    The things that we have shared

    Will still remain behind now


    Throwing Stones, The Aeon Rings Remix - Empathy Test and Aeon Rings (A Broken Window)

    (Darker Reprise from ‘Loveless: The Jimmy LaPlane Experience’)


    Condemnation - Depeche Mode (Jimmy LaPlane Strikes Back)

    Condemnation, tried

    Here on the stand

    With the book in my hand

    Truth on my side

    Accusations, lies

    Hand me my sentence

    I'll show no repentance

    I'll suffer with pride

    If for honesty, you want apologies

    I don't sympathize

    For kindness, you substitute blindness

    Please open your eyes

    Condemnation, why?

    Because my duty

    Was always to beauty

    That was my crime

    Feel elation, high

    To know I can trust this

    Fix of injustice

    Time after time

    If you see purity as immaturity

    Well, it's no surprise

    For kindness, you substitute blindness

    Please open your eyes


    Stay Away - Nirvana (Brandon Defending)

    Monkey see, monkey do

    (I don't know why)

    I'd rather be deal than cool

    (I don't know why)

    Every line ends in rhyme

    (I don't know why)

    Less is more, love is blind

    (I don't know why)

    Stay

    Stay away

    Stay away

    Stay away

    Give an inch, take a smile

    (I don't know why)

    Fashion shits, fashion stile

    (I don't know why)

    Throw it out and keep it in

    (I don't know why)

    Have to have poison skin

    (I don't know why)

    Stay

    Stay away

    Stay away

    Stay away

    I don't know why

    I don't know why

    Stay

    Stay away

    Stay away

    Stay away

    Monkey See, monkey do

    (I don't know why)

    I'd rather be deal than cool

    (I don't know why)

    Every line ends in rhyme

    (I don't know why)

    Less is more, love is blind

    (I don't know why)

    Stay

    Stay away

    Stay away

    Stay away

    I don't know why

    I don't know why

    Stay

    Stay away

    Stay away

    Stay away

    Stay

    Stay away

    Stay away

    Stay away

    Stay away

    Stay away

    God is gay


    Cast In Steel - A-Ha (Boys Inseparable)

    Meet me at the turnaround

    Stop your car and look around

    There I will be waiting

    Forget for once how everything

    Fades

    It fades away

    I'll never get over what we said

    It lingers in my head

    I'll always remember what we knew

    One hundred percent to be true

    To be right, to be real

    Set in stone and cast in steel

    Made a pact, eye to eye

    Cross your heart and hope to die

    Can you see the end of things?

    Can you see it happening?

    Feel the ashes on the wind

    Don't you hate how everything

    Falls

    Just falls away?

    I'll never get over what we said

    It lingers in my head

    I'll always remember what we knew

    One hundred percent to be true

    To be right, to be real

    Set in stone and cast in steel

    Made a pact, eye to eye

    Cross your heart and hope to die

    It lingers in my head

    I'll always remember what we knew

    One hundred percent to be true

    Set in stone and cast in steel

    To be right, to be real

    Set in stone and cast in steel


    The Scientist - Glee Cover of Coldplay (Reaffirmations and the Long Road Taken)

    Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry

    You don't know how lovely you are

    I had to find you

    Tell you I need you

    Tell you I set you apart

    Tell me your secrets

    And ask me your questions

    Oh, let's go back to the start

    Running in circles

    Coming up tails

    Heads on a science apart

    Nobody said it was easy

    It's such a shame for us to part

    Nobody said it was easy

    No one ever said it would be this hard

    Oh, take me back to the start

    I was just guessing

    At numbers and figures

    Pulling the puzzles apart

    Questions of science

    Science and progress

    Do not speak as loud as my heart

    Tell me you love me

    Come back and haunt me

    Oh, and I rush to the start

    Running in circles

    Chasing our tails

    Coming back as we are

    Nobody said it was easy

    Oh, it's such a shame for us to part

    Nobody said it was easy

    No one ever said it would be so hard

    I'm going back to the start

    Oh Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry

    You don't know how lovely you are

    I had to find you

    Tell you I need you

    Tell you I set you apart

    Tell me your secrets

    And ask me your questions

    Oh, let's go back to the start

    Running in circles

    Coming up tails

    Heads on a science apart

    Nobody said it was easy

    It's such a shame for us to part

    Nobody said it was easy

    No one ever said it would be this hard

    Oh, take me back to the start

    I was just guessing

    At numbers and figures

    Pulling the puzzles apart

    Questions of science

    Science and progress

    Do not speak as loud as my heart

    Tell me you love me

    Come back and haunt me

    Oh, and I rush to the start

    Running in circles

    Chasing our tails

    Coming back as we are

    Nobody said it was easy

    Oh, it's such a shame for us to part

    Nobody said it was easy

    No one ever said it would be so hard

    I'm going back to the start

    Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh


    Count On Me - Camouflage (Brandon Devoted)

    Close your eyes I'm calling,

    there is no reason to be mad.

    Here I am to hold you,

    whenever there is something sad.

    I'll catch you as you can see,

    my whole life I'll be there for you.

    No matter it means to me,

    you're my joy,

    believe me boy ...

    I can't hide,

    I can't run,

    from the things whatever I have done,

    but the truth will set me free -

    I can always count on you,

    as you can always count on me ...!

    Hold your breath we're falling,

    don't tell me that it's said and done.

    Spread your wings to save us,

    a guardian with a golden gun.

    I'll catch you as you can see,

    your whole life I'll be there for you,

    no matter it means to me,

    you're my joy,

    believe me boy ...

    I can't hide,

    I can't run,

    from the things whatever I have done,

    but the truth will set me free -

    I can always count on you,

    as you can always count on me ...!

    Hold my hand as we run,

    flying high to reach the sun,

    count on me, as I count on you,

    forever and ever ...


    Insatiable - Darren Hayes (Brandon Can Never Get Enough Of Billy)

    The moonlight plays upon your skin

    A kiss that lingers takes me in

    I fall asleep inside of you

    There are no words

    There's only truth

    Breathe in Breathe out

    There is no sound

    We move together up and down

    We levitate our bodies soar

    Our feet don't even touch the floor

    And nobody knows you like I do

    The world doesn't understand

    But I grow stronger in your hands

    Turn the lights down low

    Take it off

    Let me show

    My love for you

    Insatiable

    Turn me on

    Never stop

    want to taste every drop

    My love for you

    Insatiable

    Turn the lights down low

    Take it off

    Let me show

    My love for you

    Insatiable

    Turn me on

    Never stop

    want to taste every drop

    My love for you

    Insatiable

    We never sleep we're always holdin' hands

    Kissin' for hours talkin' makin' plans

    I feel like a better man

    Just being in the same room

    We never sleep there's just so much to do

    Too much to say

    Can't close my eyes when I'm with you

    Insatiable the way I'm loving you

    Turn the lights down low

    Take it off

    Let me show

    My love for you

    Insatiable

    Turn me on

    Never stop

    want to taste every drop

    My love for you

    Insatiable

    Turn the lights down low

    Take it off

    Let me show

    My love for you

    Insatiable

    Turn me on

    Never stop

    want to taste every drop

    My love for you

    Insatiable

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    Hello everyone,

     

    I've had a couple of novels showcased on Gay Authors but find myself in need some more in depth help with the latest one. So I'm looking for Beta Readers and I decided to open the invitation to anyone who wants to join me in this endeavour.

     

    Let me know if you're interest, and I will direct you to the relevant story link.

     

    Thanks in advance,

     

    Brian (Lomax61)

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    paul.b
    Latest Entry

    [attachment=8506:happy-chinese-new-year-2016-with-a-cute-monkey_23-2147532303.jpg
    Happy New year to all of you who are celebrating Cny

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    today was fun and amusing. on this site for a few days, and already making mistakes, lol. ADD and writing always make a fun mix. I have quit a few projects saved on this site already, just not any that were set to be published. talk about amusing and embarrassing when you get an email about something being denied for publishing for whatever reason and not realizing you had clicked to publish rather then save to finish later. at least on the fun side I did actually publish a piece of work that I wanted to rather then just save it. The joys of being technologically declined. On the plus side I have found this site to be full of tons of polite and helpful people. and of course once I become more familiar with this site I will be having a blog that is actually worth reading .... hopefully ....

  11. Thorn Wilde
    Latest Entry

    This is a quick and easy dish suitable for vegans, vegetarians, and days when you just don't feel like eating meat.

     

    For two people you need:

     

    2 ripe avocados
    2 spring onions
    1-2 cloves of garlic
    a handful of walnuts or pine nuts (or both)
    the juice of one lemon
    olive oil
    salt and pepper
    pasta of your choice

     


    1. Toast the nuts. You can do this in a pan or in the oven. I recommend oven for walnuts and pan for pine nuts. In the oven: lay out the nuts on an oven tray, and put them in an oven pre-heated to about 200*C for ten minutes, or until your kitchen starts to smell of nutty goodness. In the pan: use medium-high heat and make sure to stir and shake the pan more or less constantly so the nuts don't burn.

     

    2. Finely chop spring onion and garlic, and fry them together in a bit of olive oil at medium heat.

     

    3. Slice open your avocados, remove the pits and spoon the contents into a bowl. Like my guacamole, if the avocado is ripe enough you can simply mash it with a fork, though you're free to use a food processor if you'd like it smoother. Add lemon juice, a bit of olive oil (a tbs or so) and salt and pepper to taste. Finally, mix in the garlic and spring onions.

     

    4. Cook pasta for two people according to the instructions on the pack. I prefer spaghetti or linguine for this particular dish, but feel free to choose something else if you like.

     

    5. Mix the pasta with the sauce in a large bowl. Chop the nuts (if using walnuts; pine nuts can be used whole) and sprinkle on top.

     

    med_gallery_18409_1170_284009.jpg

     

    If you'd like to make the dish less vegan, serve with grated parmesan or other hard cheese, and if you're deeply opposed to meatless meals, I'm sure some smoked bacon in place of (or addition to) the nuts would be very tasty. ;)

     

    Enjoy!

  12. Drak
    Latest Entry

    Amor fati, or the death of desire, is a common goal sought after by those that pursue the spiritual path. Desire dissipates the overwhelming, ruthless Will, which should be paramount. The Will of one that serves the Light would achieve what is right and best and good. Desire surrenders control to external entities, transitory and of limited value. This is why desire should die in one who seeks more than the obvious from this life. And so mystics since time began have sought amor fati. For desire does lead us astray and chain us to the wheel of karma. So it has been written in the holy texts and not without reason.

     

    From the airy, cold mountain side, isolated and alone and beyond reason, cross-legged in the lotus position, peering through the expanse of space, through stone, and metal, and wood, and flesh; I note the beloved ones of long ago and recall the golden palaces that I built for them in my heart. I set these palaces afire, one by one, and watch them reduced to ashes, and rejoice. The irrelevant strangers will never know nor care, and I am far past caring, and free, finally, of desire.

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    Hello Everyone!

     

    I recently joined Gay Authors so I could start sharing "The Persephone Chronicles: The Icarus Protocol", a novel I've been working on for some time now.

     

    I'm looking for a Beta Reader and I decided to open the invitation to anyone who wants to join me in this adventure.

     

    Thanks and greetings from Mexico

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    Uh ok i am trying.....i need to express myself got it...do i hav to? yes cause someone forced me to be here to write this :unsure2: .....
    Last night i was thinking about this...i have to write something here...but what? i am terrible at deadlines so here i am.Am i talking to myself here?
    I was told i can write anything i want to....but its really hard when i am not used to express myself correctly or accurately.Be myself...its easier said then done.I am not an author...but i love to read stories here.Its kind of passive, no effort.I am too lazy to write reviews too..yah i know i sound terrible.More then two years now in this internet web,in here or in fb too.too many friends on fb....but i still feel lonely.Its not the same as in real life,the distance thing can never get fully erased.The stories are my consolation,they make me feel good when i feel down.
    Is this enough? can i go now? :P

  13. blogentry-16404-0-38439700-1447309592_thumb.jpg

     

    Lady Luck is smiling, and A Rescued Life is featured on GA's CSR Feature. I'm excited!! Do read, and on November 30th, let's meet on GA's Blog. I will spend my time over on GA's CSR blog reading what everyone thinks of this story, and won't mind having a chat about everything and nothing, and all...candid and epic conversations all accepted. :P
    See you then!

  14. blog-0167413001447097903.jpg

    Goodreads is hosting a giveaway of my book Bear Hunter in case you'd like a free copy in exchange for an honest review :Dhttps://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/17600493-live-bear-hunter-by-albert-nothlit---dbml-213

     

    Here's the blurb!

     

    Bear Hunter

    Sven is on the run. He escaped to Alaska trying to get away, but the cops are still on his trail. Desperate, he kidnaps Matt and hides in his house. He has to keep Matt tied up, and Sven is surprised and turned on at the fact that he refuses to be intimidated. Matt fights back every single time, waiting for the moment to turn the tables. Every day of captivity, Sven gets to know Matt better. Enough to feel bad about what he's doing. He can't let his guard down, though. If he does, he knows Matt won't hesitate in getting his revenge.

     

    Any takers?

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    How to write a blog? I've no idea, since this is my first try. I've looked at a few blogs written by other GA members, and I don't think I could come up with anything remotely resembling the interesting, funny or cool entries of other people.
    In any case I don't have much to say, and I certainly don't expect anyone to pay a lot of attention. Except my GA friends who're kind, supportive and wonderful. You know who you are. ;)

     

    My main reason for creating a blog and making an entry is to compile a list of the reviews I've written for the site blog Featured Story. This will make it easier for me to find them, mainly when I want to enjoy reading the nice comments they got. Apart from having the chance to draw attention to stories I admire, one of the best things about writing reviews is the feedback. I'm grateful for every single reply and like I got for those story reviews.

     

    I can recommend writing reviews for the blog, and Renee Stevens is always happy to receive them. I suggest reading her description of How to before you take the plunge.

     

    My list of Featured Story reviews:

     

    Judas Tree by @AC Benus
    Misunderstandings by @BigAKHorton
    The English Year by @Jwolf
    Meta by @JohnAR
    Savory, Bitter and Sweet by @Percy
    Prophylaxis by @Rambling Robin
    Presence (no longer on GA) by @carringtonrj
    Confounded by @Andr0gene
    Kissing the Dragon by @lomax61
    Trouble Plus Trouble by @Palantir
    Team Building (no longer on GA) by @EBWilson
    Red Running Shoes by @aditus
    Thaw by @Puppilull
    About Carl by @Diogenes
    A Taste of Desire (no longer on GAby @Arazon

    The Navigator by @Cynus

    9.11 by @Mark Arbour

    Little Man by @Mann Ramblings

    Christmas at Famous-Barr by @AC Benus

    Travelling Home by @podga

    The Lilydale Leopards by @Graeme

    Never Too Late by @northie


    and blogs shared with review team
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  15. I just wanted to share this with you all. My mom subscribes for a weekly magazine :facepalm: I generally steal away for a couple of hours it to read about the sex Q/A. You know, the kind of one where couples send questions to a sexologist :gikkle: and he/she answers them. You can just call it a guilty pleasure or a pet peeve or whatever. I find it entertaining to read about the kind of problems straight couples face regarding sex :gikkle: This week I read something that made me think :o now that's rare :P ....okay the question was from a person asking about his attraction to men.

     

    the reply was "homosexual feelings are caused due to a change in the genetic structure of a human during their formation. It can be cured by behavior modification therapy" :angry:

     

    okay my question was how can someone change something in genes with therapy??? :huh: and even if it's curable, then why are there so many LGBT+ people in the world??? why couldn't they just get themselves converted and live an easier life??? -_- or why is it legal in those countries in the west for two people of same gender to marry and and have children??? :thumbdown: isn't there a reason why aversion therapy was called inhumane and banned in these places??? <_< ....then why are all these people just so against them??? :( .....why do you recite religion and culture and nature as a reason to condemn them??? :,(

     

    so, that's it guys :blushing: , I don't want to bore you or get you angry :no: ....it kept disturbing me for the whole time, so I thought to share it :( If I hurt any one's feelings, I want to say that I had no intention of doing so and I apologize for it. :thankyou:

  16. The_Jordanator
    Latest Entry

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    So like, something curious happened today.

    Me and my mate, on the school computers, cracking out some media studies work, and I just happen to be on my photo drive staring at this picture I snatched off a digital album posted on the school site of a junior hockey sports game. The photo was of my best crush in the whole wide world even if you combined hot guys like Charlie Puth and Zac Efron together he still would be my pick crush since last year, standing on his lonesome, in the middle of a hockey game. It's creepy, but hey.

    So I was staring at the beauty of that right, and then my mate goes: "Who the fuck is he?" [exact quotation]. And I pretend like I definitely did not steal that picture how-could-you-say-I-stole-that-picture and I make up some shitty rush-and-panic reply that goes along the lines of a pelican flying across the skies and excreting a random picture into my photo drive. "Weird aye?" I say to him.

    He looks at me like wtf but then he says something that turns everything around.

     

    "That guy is my sister's boyfriend."

     

    NO NO NO THIS IS A ​DISASTER HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SINGLE AND POTENTIALLY GAY WHY IS HE NOT!!!!??? IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE LIKE THIS!!!!!

     

    "Oh really?" I reply casually.

     

    "Yeah." he says.

     

    There was one scary moment in which he explicitly asked if I was a gay stalker and I just laugh that off because definitely 100% no way in a million years would I do something as hopeless as that.

     

    This revelation was still pressing in my mind though, so just to clarify, I said: "So is he really you sister's bf?"

     

    "Nah I was joking." He said.

     

    PHEW!!!!

     

    So that was my drama today.

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