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I urge you to find someone to talk to. This is a very low point for you but if your previous blogs have been any indicator one that will not go on forever. I can not help you from here other than to say that you should seek help. Your talk of a loss of self, even if not suicide, is not healthy. Please reconsider your actions before you can not return from them.

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:(.......... Have you decided to 'off' your persona! I understand the living of the two lies very well, I myself have not broken to that point yet, but I understand it. The masks can go up at any time, and taken down when alone. The toll will reach a point were there is a no point of return. The persona needs to disappear from the facade that was kept for so long, reaching for the freedom that was chained down for so long. Bold, yet scary to make this voyage that was so ill advised back then, when society at the time demanded of it. I see that you have chosen to proceed, well hell good for you! I doubt I will hit that point anytime soon, sorry to say! I cannot imagine the freedom you have taken on, nor the ramifications of it that cause you to be so despondent in your post.


I wish you luck in your quest! Someday I will have that courage to move on too!!

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