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Yet Another Misrepresentation of D/s

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I haven't posted a blog in a while, but I was compelled to share my thoughts on this.



Recently, someone shared an amateur porn video with me. It was of a supposed “Dom” taking his sub over his knees and spanking him. Normally, that would be good subject matter, but this one, like so many similar ones I’ve had the displeasure of viewing over the years, is about the Dom causing the sub as much pain as possible, alternating between bare hands and a paddle, while the sub squeals and squirms beneath his weight.


During the entire spanking session, this “Dom” focuses his attention solely on the webcam that is filming the scene – obsessed with how he looks as the World’s Most Awesome Sadist. The narcissism and egotism projected is astonishing. And extremely disappointing. Meanwhile, the sub he’s dominating is subjected to pain without any purpose, clutched in the stronghold of a man who cares more about how he looks on camera than about the boy in his arms.


Do I know who this couple is, or how they are together when the camera is off? No. Maybe they only just met. Maybe they've been together for years. If a Dom and a sub mutually choose to film a scene like this, then I suppose I can’t argue with that choice. However, this is the type of online manure that confuses and misguides what D/s Life is about.


Inflicting pain without purpose is pointless. Choosing to use a sub like a rag doll – or, in this case, a prop for a homemade movie – grates against my every nerve. There’s an inhumane, torturous aspect to this kind of scene. It’s also gravely inaccurate. At least, to most of us in the Life it is.


The deep emotional connection that a Dom and sub can share is something to be celebrated, not portrayed as a power play with only one winner. There is little room for egotism in a Dominant person, and a sub should be revered as a partner, not a puppet. Not to mention providing proper after-care, which means being kind and nurturing and supportive to a sub as he/she comes back from the sub-space you’ve transported them to.  


A Dom who cares little to nothing for the sub in his arms doesn’t deserve to have one, in my opinion.


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Not being in the D/s Life, but friends with several here, and a few I've met in the Real World, it does piss me off that misrepresentations like this happens.

10 hours ago, BlindAmbition said:

We see this all the time. Garbage like 50 shades. It’s disappointing with porn even more. Porn sells fantasy. D/s is a lifestyle, not fantasy. Well explained. Thank you Sir.

Just saw an Advertisement for a new 50 Shades movie coming out soon. I suspect it's gonna get worse.

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4 hours ago, MacGreg said:

Sadly, the person who shared it with me thought I'd enjoy it on some asinine level. I was very quick to set him straight with the same explanations I provided here in this blog. And as you have stated - subs aren't playthings, and torture isn't welcomed or condoned. On rare occasion, I've had a sub plead with me to beat him. Nope. I give explanations and guidance and send him on his way.   

They thought you'd enjoy it? Sounds like they don't know you too well. 

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