One Son's Choice: Love or Country?

[AFriendlyFace]

Hi all,

 

Whilst searching for the link to the article in the other thread that I just created about an 88 year old lesbian, I serendipitously came across this Newsweek My Turn article, One Son's Choice: Love or Country?, that I'd read a couple of months ago and wanted to start a discussion here about but had never gotten around to (well till now ).

 

It's written by a mother about her son's decision to leave the U.S. so that he could be legally married.

 

Once again it's here:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16840018/site/newsweek/page/0/

 

Let me know what you guys think!

Kevin

[Ieshwar]

I completely understand this guy! Even I am seriously thinkin of immigrating to somewhere else. I love Mauritius but else can we do? I can't even live with aguy here. I'll be a freak!

 

The boy has taken the right decison and as it was said : "Their gain, our loss!" I mean, we got our dreams and desires too!

 

But I'm sad about the mother.

 

Ieshwar

[Demetz]

If the conditions in one's country are such that they can not be changed for the better or changing them for the better is not realistic then immigration to a better country is perfectly legitimate. Give it another 10, maybe 20 years and laws in the US will be changed. That's little comfort to people who would spend a quarter of their life not being accorded the rights and privileges they deserve though.

[Krista]

I think this is a good little article. I feel bad for the Mother, but I do think it happens a lot. I mean, my friends who've been together for about six years are finally wanting to get married. They can't because this is Kentucky.. and such.. so realistically they will have to move or be patient and "hope" for a long standing tradition to be "redefined" to be more accepting.

 

 

Anyway, thanks for sharing Kevin.

 

 

 

Krista

[pitchan]

Wow I didnt know there was so much prejudice in the USA. To the extent that gay people would be treated as second class citizens. In retrospect the decision of the son to move to Canada is the right decision. And it is indeed Canada's gain. I feel sorry for the mother to be seperated to her son. It must be so hard.

[D Writes]

Hmmm... this gives me another reason to move to Canada for my Master's degree. This is just not the story about the US but also about many other nations where "being gay" is illegal. And India is one such country. Atleast the US doesn't have laws where one could be imprisoned for being gay...

 

I don't know when all the prejudices are going to end and let people be themselves and not what others' think them to be.

 

Now, I am seriously thinking of moving to Vancouver!!

[TheMan]

USA sucks ball for homosexuals, like us. It's quite sad how bigots think they are always right making fun of homosexuals. It's just not right. I certainly hope the laws will be changed, or in better words, this country needs to changed. Or we are all f**ked!

[rknapp]

I, too, would love to leave the United States, but for more reasons than just the bigotry that runs rampant. I won't go into details because I don't want to start a political war, but it has pretty much everything to do with the current administration, the church, insurance, and the military. The Founding Fathers must be rolling in their graves.

[TheMan]

Yes, it's just more than the bigotry here. If you were from some other country, and came here. You would be surprised, at how people or should I say, straight people, say about gay people. They are brainwashed into lies. It's so f**kin ridiculous. They think they has to have sex with a woman. Not true, straight people. Everyone, the church, politicians. They are all against you. They are the very things,(Gay People), that they are fighting against. So all in all, there's alot of hatred, and bigotry.

Edited September 2, 2007 by TheMan

[C James]

Yes, it's just more than the bigotry here. If you were from some other country, and came here. You would be surprised, at how people or should I say, straight people, say about gay people. They are brainwashed into lies. It's so f**kin ridiculous. They think they has to have sex with a woman. Not true, straight people. Everyone, the church, politicians. They are all against you. They are the very things,(Gay People), that they are fighting against. So all in all, there's alot of hatred, and bigotry.

 

While there are better countries to be gay in than the USA, I'd like to remind everyone that in the majority of countries, it's far worse. In some, it's even a death-penalty offense. Kind of puts things in perspective when you look at it that way.

[Andy]

TheMan.. Bigotry goes both ways, Straight bashing is as bad as Gay bashing. You're lumping a whole group of people into a single definition based upon the opinions and actions of the few.

 

 

 

The guy is moving to canada because he is able to love as he wishes there. Good for him, it is good that he has that choice and that ability. His mother will have to deal with him being hundreds if not thousands of miles away, Poor her. It isn't an ideal situation, and hopefully it will soon be a situation that won't have to be repeated for long.

[Krista]

Yes, it's just more than the bigotry here. If you were from some other country, and came here. You would be surprised, at how people or should I say, straight people, say about gay people. They are brainwashed into lies. It's so f**kin ridiculous. They think they has to have sex with a woman. Not true, straight people. Everyone, the church, politicians. They are all against you. They are the very things,(Gay People), that they are fighting against. So all in all, there's alot of hatred, and bigotry.

 

Hi,

 

 

As a straight person, I believe it isn't just a gay vs. straight issue. It goes both ways, it's not brain washing, and I do think people are entitled to their beliefs, even if they are completely different from your own. It's not brain washing as you say. There are also church members as well as politicians that will happily accept a homosexual person just as easily as a heterosexual person. Please exclude groups of people when you're expressing an opinion as groups of people may not share the same views.

 

There is such a thing called, Heterophobia and it's just as bad.

 

Krista

[sungod]

Time for a bit of a contrarian position.

 

Whether you are accepted, or at worst tolerated, as a LGBT person, depends on where you live in the U.S. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. This is a very accepting area for us.

 

I am 100% in agreement with the problems that rknapp itemizes in his post above. Hopefully we'll have a change in the near future and we'll get beyond the war being perpetrated on non-heterosexuals by those with an anti-gay agenda of hate. In the meantime, we have to stand up in opposition of those who are the spawn of the devil (I love to use some of their rhetoric against that group -- we should do more of that, in my opinion.)

 

sungod

Edited September 3, 2007 by sungod

[AFriendlyFace]

While there are better countries to be gay in than the USA, I'd like to remind everyone that in the majority of countries, it's far worse. In some, it's even a death-penalty offense. Kind of puts things in perspective when you look at it that way.

Well said, CJ!

 

TheMan.. Bigotry goes both ways, Straight bashing is as bad as Gay bashing. You're lumping a whole group of people into a single definition based upon the opinions and actions of the few.

The guy is moving to canada because he is able to love as he wishes there. Good for him, it is good that he has that choice and that ability. His mother will have to deal with him being hundreds if not thousands of miles away, Poor her. It isn't an ideal situation, and hopefully it will soon be a situation that won't have to be repeated for long.

Well said, Andy!

 

There is such a thing called, Heterophobia and it's just as bad.

 

This is true.

 

We mustn't forget our straight allies and we need look no further than this forum to find quite a few.

 

-Kevin

Edited September 2, 2007 by AFriendlyFace

[Bill W]

I think the article was well written and made many valuable points, but my only fear is those who might benefit the most from it did not take the time to read what this poor mother said. Even if they did, my guess is that many of them were thinking, 'big deal - that doesn't affect me or my family.' An even bigger shame is that such attitudes still exist, but hopefully that will change some day.

[Graeme]

Australia is not as gay-friendly as Canada ... yet.

 

We have the advantage that it is only a law that is preventing gay marriage, and laws can be changed. There is already a lot of pressure within both major political parties to grant same-sex couples the same rights as defacto couples, and my impression is that defacto couples in Australia have more rights than they do in the USA. Neither major party is willing to go as far as proposing same-sex marriage, but recognition of the defacto relationship is a good step along the way. It'll mean a lot of lawful discrimination will be eliminated as almost all laws at both the federal and state levels recognise defacto relationships.

 

However, I can understand and appreciate the idea of moving from a unfriendly area to a gay-friendly country. New Zealand is more gay-friendly than Australia, but I don't think the difference is enough to encourage the sort of migration that is reported in this article.

 

All I can say is I wish those that want to move all the best, and I hope that those that stay will find things become more friendly in the near future.

[Drewbie]

There is also only one or two that allows gay marriage in the us, even in Canada there is still ppl that are homophobic, ymca and some other companies in the us that has partnership bennies.

 

 

For me I don't plan to move to another country just for gay rights.

Edited September 3, 2007 by Drewbie

[BeaStKid]

A beautiful article that portrays my and many other people's predicament quite accurately.

 

As Ieshwar put it, living in Asia as a homosexual/bisexual is quite difficult. Esp. in South Asia, where the prejudices are so rampant that one can't go far to find it. Nevertheless, my heart goes out to the mother who had to go through this and to each and every one of those people who have to take this decision.

 

As for me, I simply don't know. I mean, the option of going to another country that is gay-friendly is very tempting, but I would never ever abandon my country. My future plans include studying abroad, but after that all roads lead back to India.

 

I feel...no, I know that that day is not far when same-sex couples would get recognition in India too and the spark for that revolution has already started.

 

Hugs!

 

The BeaStKid

[colinian]

Time for a bit of a contrarian position.

 

Whether you are accepted, or at worst tolerated, as a LGBT person, depends on where you live in the U.S. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. This is a very accepting area for us.

 

I am 100% in agreement with the problems that rknapp itemizes in his post above. Hopefully we'll have a change in the near future and we'll get beyond the war being perpetrated on non-heterosexuals by those with an anti-gay agenda of hate. In the meantime, we have to stand up in opposition of those who are the spawn of the devil (I love to use some of their rhetoric against that group -- we should do more of that, in my opinion.)

 

sungod

 

I also live in the SF Bay Area, and I agree that this is a generally accepting part of the country for LGBT people. Still, there are people here who are homophobic, and others who are downright dangerous. But they are a declining minority. California also has domestic partnership rights for gay/lesbian/senior couples that grant almost all of the rights of marriage, except for the "married" part. This even includes having to file their 2007 California state income tax as Married Filing Jointly. But, of course, domestic partners will not be able to file their 2007 Federal income tax that way.

 

I love these two quotes from sungod's post: "the war being perpetrated on non-heterosexuals by those with an anti-gay agenda of hate" and "we have to stand up in opposition of those who are the spawn of the devil"!

 

There is also only one or two that allows gay marriage in the us, even in Canada there is still ppl that are homophobic, ymca and some other companies in the us that has partnership bennies.

For me I don't plan to move to another country just for gay rights.

 

Right on, Drewbie! We have to make things work here!

 

Colin