Gaydar or Bidar

[Prince Duchess]

So, recently Ive seen online little quizzes that test your gaydar and I dont think there accurate. I think you need much more than a picture to se if there gay or not. So I wanna know what do you do to see if a person is gay or not. Do you look at there style, the way they talk, there walk, attitude. Let me know

[Nephylim]

It's really hard to say. Sometimes there are visual or audio signs and signals but not always... with the rise of metrosexuality it isn't so easy any more. For me it's a feeling, a gut reaction I suppose and I have been pretty accurate so far. But to say precisely what it is that presses the buzzer... I don't know.

[Dargon]

Hi. Personaly I look for the way guys (I notice guys more often, not so much women for obvious reasons) look at other people of the same gender. The way people walk (especially if two guys jwalk just a little bit closer than I'm used to see), talk (especially the voice tone and way of saying certain words), stand and the way they dress. I know it's shallow and superficial, but besides my boyfriend I know very few gay people. Some more flamboyant guys are easier to scope out, but most look just like any other guy.

 

I think my gaydar works somewhat well, but as far as I know I fly so low that no one considers me gay. I say this because all the people who know I'm gay never figured me out as being gay, except those who hung around me and my boyfriend a lot while our relationship was still in the shadow for everyone, which was roughly about a year and a half.

[Former Member]

Mine's sorta more just a vibe y'know? It's a gut feeling and one I've learned to trust.

 

As for setting others' off...I flaunt my sexuality without being one of the stereotypical flamboyant guys. You see me walking down the street, you're gonna know.

 

 

 

 

[JamesSavik]

All I get on my gaydar are Russian weather satellites.

 

Frikkin' East German electronics! :nuke:

[Mark Arbour]

I just watch to see who they're watching. If a guy is gay, his head will turn if a hot guy walks by. Not only that, but it will linger a bit, not just a glance.

[Aeroplane]

I just watch to see who they're watching. If a guy is gay, his head will turn if a hot guy walks by. Not only that, but it will linger a bit, not just a glance.

 

Im SO guilty of that

[oneoftheguys]

I think I broke mine, I should have opted for the extended warrenty

[Fishwings]

Grrr. What a topic.

I look for obvious cues, like the flaming broken limp wrist, but seriously my 'dar is pretty outdated.

[Tipdin]

As gay men, we learn to notice very small signs. Some guys make it easy, (Thank you!) and some guys are extremely difficult to figure out - one way or the other.

 

I used to work at the University of Minnesota, running gay support groups and I was able to hone my gaydar skills so I feel pretty confident that I can at least tell when a guy isn't all THAT straight....

 

Surprisingly, I am told I set off very few gaydar alarms. Now that either means I'm an old troll that nobody wants to notice or I'm doing a piss poor job of letting other gay men known I'm right there in front of them!

 

If I suspect a guy is gay and have a chance to talk to him, I'll usually try to let him known, (somehow) that I am gay. He can take it from there. Although I'm a huge flirt so it's not that tough to figure me out - even if your gaydar is shut off!

[Ashi]

My gaydar is the most broken piece of you know what.

 

I set people's gaydar off when I'm being myself the most (e.g., enjoying myself in some social setting). That's when I forget to act straight and start doing shifty eyes (because I know I shouldn't stare!).

[Y_B]

I used to have a pretty accurate gaydar, but lately the battery's been running low. Mainly cuz I'm not so hung up about this typa stuff anymore. If a guy's into me, I can usually pick it up. If not, then it's fruitless to keep wondering if he's gay/bi/tri or w/e.

 

As for me, I'm sure if you're keen enough you can call it out. Too often do I get whiplashed on the way to class

Edited September 27, 2009 by Yang Bang

[JamesSavik]

I was at the mall the other day and noticed several gay guys. GayDar had nothing to do with it. They might as well have been flying rainbow colors.

 

I ate at chick-fillet with a friend girl and she mentioned that I should hit up the little cutie at the check out register.

 

I told her I would be afraid that I might break him.

[AFriendlyFace]

Based on the title I was rather hoping this thread was going to have something to do with spotting a bisexual versus a gay person. Oh well, Gaydar is always fun to talk about too.

 

 

Mine's sorta more just a vibe y'know? It's a gut feeling and one I've learned to trust.

 

As for setting others' off...I flaunt my sexuality without being one of the stereotypical flamboyant guys. You see me walking down the street, you're gonna know.

I like this post!

 

I just watch to see who they're watching. If a guy is gay, his head will turn if a hot guy walks by. Not only that, but it will linger a bit, not just a glance.

Seems like one of the most realistic and logical courses of action.

 

 

My experience is such that I'm out in large city where lots of other people are out, and I specifically tend to socialize in gay/gay friendly places. As such, most of the people I pick up on my gaydar are also out, and it's not very difficult. I went to the store the other day and had no problem pegging the cashier as a lesbian (the gay pride bracelet was a big give away ). I also had a waitress a few weeks ago explicitly out herself because she noticed I was reading a GLBT magazine (this was a good strategy on her part since I was just about to tip her and tipped a good bit higher since she was "family.")

 

I think it's much easier to spot a gay guy who is out than a closeted one regardless of "obvious" factors (like a boyfriend on his arm, etc.). I think that apart from the stereotypical things like clothing, voice, etc., and the things aforementioned like seeing who they check out, it's very easy and possible to peg a gay guy just by the way he moves and conducts himself. It's not really just the walk per se (although that can certainly give it away), it's the way he holds his head and arms as well. It's also the way he responds to you and/or other 'gay' things. When I walk through a crowd sometimes I spot a gay guy first, and sometimes he spots me first, but regardless most of time the mere act of spotting the other person let's them know if they didn't already ready. It's almost like a semi-secret organization or something, we'll walk by each other and exchange a slight smile or nod and we both know the other person is "one of us."

 

Often gays and lesbians travel in "packs" as well, and that makes it much easier. At least one of them will be a giveaway and then in context you can figure out the rest. For example when I go somewhere with my friends sometimes it's just two of us, sometimes three, sometimes four or more, but regardless we're all much easier to spot because we're together, and there's a good chance we're also discussing sometime GLBT themed or discussing something non-GLBT themed in a way that's still a dead giveaway to anyone listening.

 

I definitely think it's all a lot easier to do with out guys and if you're out yourself. When I do spot a gay guy, even when I'm not at all interested, if he hasn't noticed me and realized I was gay, I'll usually try to let him know in some way.

 

I think most of these things would apply in some way to closeted individuals as well, but probably to a lesser, more discrete extent. Of course when I do "ping" other people it doesn't necessarily tell me if they're closeted or not (unless they are wearing that pride bracelet, or sporting that lover). Maybe I ping primarily out people, or maybe I ping an even blend, no way of knowing I suppose. I personally suspect I ping primarily out people but get a fair number of closeted people as well.

 

Anyway, I'm just rambling on, but I enjoy the topic....Now would anyone like to discuss the differences between gaydar and bidar?

 

 

-Kevin

[paya]

Based on the title I was rather hoping this thread was going to have something to do with spotting a bisexual versus a gay person.

[tomon]

Mine was just getting good when I moved country. In Japan fashion is popular, 95% of guys around my age I'd say are metrosexual. Guys fashion magazines are popular, clothes, hair etc. So that took that one down. Plus hardly anyone comes out in japan. I've heard it's more likely for gay guys to just get married and then occasionally go to a gay bar Though don't quote me on that.

 

As for back in england, mine used to be TERRIBLE and it was maybe 50/50 before I left. I am one of those guilty of drunken "No you can tell! He has 'GAY FACE!'" comments While hilairious at the time, it's actually rather harsh and not something to shout loudly.

[Ashi]

Mine was just getting good when I moved country. In Japan fashion is popular, 95% of guys around my age I'd say are metrosexual. Guys fashion magazines are popular, clothes, hair etc. So that took that one down. Plus hardly anyone comes out in japan. I've heard it's more likely for gay guys to just get married and then occasionally go to a gay bar Though don't quote me on that.

 

Can't comment on Japan, but I used to live in Taiwan (ancient history now). Guys aren't afraid of fashion like here in the U.S.. The couple lived up stair had my mom babysit for them. One day I caught the guy went to work with a pair of purple dress pants with matching umbrella. Okay, that's quite audacious even by my standard. That was almost like 20 years ago, so the shock value was even more.

 

Maybe this might help you break into Asian culture, but guys do make friends with similarly dressed people (there in Asia). Well, it's not unlike emos tend to stick with emos and hip-hop people tend to group together here, but that has more to do with subculture.... If that makes any sense? If you are unkempt..., you might not get friends (or at least, you might be ditched in a corner with other unkempt people). I know it's culture shock.... Almost everything is the direct opposite. Keep in mind in cosmopolitan cities like Tokyo or Taipei with millions of residents, if you don't catch people's attention, you have no identity. It's a different world.

 

I recently dig out some old photos. I found my kid photo back in the 80's. I was dressing in a fair isle cardigan, layered with a souvenir turtleneck from a theme park, and a no-brand digital watch with a large white block face. So fashionable. LOL! My manner was so much deliberate when I was kid too. That really brightened my day when I found my childhood photos. I say dress up your kids in outrageous fashion, so they have something fun to remember.

[Arpeggio]

It takes me a good six months to figure if someone is gay UNLESS I ask them sooner or it's stamped on their forehead or they are downright flaming. XD

 

I couldnt hit water if I fell out of a boat. Makes life complicated.

[Tom]

gaydar!! if i have it, i must have a vacuum tube blown or something cause tit just don't work

 

hugs,

Tom

[AFriendlyFace]

In Japan fashion is popular, 95% of guys around my age I'd say are metrosexual.

That sounds so fun (and hot!). I love the metrosexual movement! I also love Japanese boys Hehe, I hope you're able to ping a few and have some dates. My only experience with gay Japanese people has been with immigrants and while they certainly have been fashionable I just assumed it was because they were gay, lol.

 

 

I can definitely feel ya though, I'd say foreigners of any sort are the biggest obstacle to my gaydar as well. I think it's because gaydar has a huge cultural component and until you're familiar with the culture in question it's difficult to properly identify it. Interestingly, I had an embarrassing incident of flirting shamelessly with an (evidently) straight Englishmen recently. I assumed that because he was adorable, liberal, and artistic he must be gay. A friend of mine present at the time insists that he wasn't. Of course it's still debatable about which one of us was correct so I'm not completely giving in. My attempts were unsuccessful though, so perhaps it would be better if I conclude he must have been straight

 

-Kevin

[KJames]

It takes me a good six months to figure if someone is gay UNLESS I ask them sooner or it's stamped on their forehead or they are downright flaming. XD

 

I couldnt hit water if I fell out of a boat. Makes life complicated.

 

Good thing you're attached, then...and not seriously into boating...

[Daisy]

T Interestingly, I had an embarrassing incident of flirting shamelessly with an (evidently) straight Englishmen recently. I assumed that because he was adorable, liberal, and artistic he must be gay. A friend of mine present at the time insists that he wasn't. Of course it's still debatable about which one of us was correct so I'm not completely giving in. My attempts were unsuccessful though, so perhaps it would be better if I conclude he must have been straight

 

-Kevin

 

yep, met quite a few of them . I'd say it could be 50/50 or less.

(maybe at least willing to swing that way occasionally)

(, you've got me thinking through all of my acquaintances)