Non-Gay Site Members and Visitors

[gardentuber]

I don't want to be a community buster, but I'm curious. You folks who are heterosexual men or heterosexual women, I'd like to get a clearer understanding of what benefits, gratification, etc you derive from participating. Aside from enjoying my sparkling wit, of course!

 

Please, let us (male homosexuals, faggots and sissy boys) know! TKS

[Cia]

I like how accepting you guys are. I wouldn't say that I am a completely "straight" woman, I like to read playboy and I go to strip clubs with my husband..but I am married and do have kids. It's been a long time since I did anything with anyone other than my husband, though, I mostly just consider myself monogamous to the one I ended up with. It was never a foregone conclusion that it would be a guy..just mostly. I have been welcomed, included and appreciated for myself by pretty much everyone I have talked to. Plus, I like reading all types of erotic fiction, straight, bi or gay..I am not made to feel weird here for being that way. I don't really believe in labeling myself or others one way or the other either. I guess for the most part, you "gay guys", facing discrimination a lot yourselves, just are more including/accepting...it's appreciated.

 

Just my own viewpoint, hope it answers a least some of your question...

 

Cia

Edited October 27, 2009 by Cia

[Dargon]

I don't want to be a community buster, but I'm curious. You folks who are heterosexual men or heterosexual women, I'd like to get a clearer understanding of what benefits, gratification, etc you derive from participating. Aside from enjoying my sparkling wit, of course!

 

Please, let us (male homosexuals, faggots and sissy boys) know! TKS

 

 

Hi gardentuber,

 

I read what you wrote - "faggots and sissy boys" - and understood you used these words in a light-hearted and playful manner. However, I believe it's bad enough some of us are called those names in derogatory fashion and they can be hurtful. I'm not asking you to edit it, but I'd like to convey that message and my opinion. I feel it is wrong for anyone to use them even if one is gay. There's really no need to replicate such behavior because people might start generalizing and using them a lot more than they already are used.

 

That said, I'd like to state that your question is extremely pertinent and I too am curious about straigtht people's answer to that one.

 

 

[gardentuber]

 

I read what you wrote - "faggots and sissy boys" - and understood you used these words in a light-hearted and playful manner. However, I believe it's bad enough some of us are called those names in derogatory fashion and they can be hurtful. I'm not asking you to edit it, but I'd like to convey that message and my opinion. I feel it is wrong for anyone to use them even if one is gay. There's really no need to replicate such behavior because people might start generalizing and using them a lot more than they already are used.

 

Yeah, Dargon, It's an ongoing discussion/argument and a worthwhile one. When is using "insulting" terms self deprecation and when is it co-opting other's words and finding pride in them? Way back in the 70's, we used "faggot" to describe ourselves with pride (I think I still have a political button emblazoned with the single word "Faggot"). I don't think the word is used that way any longer. In fact, back then, "queer" was politically incorrect (You might be interested in finding and reading the old tract "Faggots and Their Friends Between the Revolutions" for a 70's version of this discussion.). Now, it's accepted. In fact, "queer" probably best describes the varied participants (LGBT&Q) of this website. "Sissy boy"... well, I was one as a child and young adult when I was thoroughly put off by men and male roles. That's changed as I've gotten older (or OLD to some of you!), but I'm not embarrassed at having been a sissy. I'm kind of proud of it, actually. Like they say, it takes more guts to stick out and be different than it does to blend in and disappear!

 

When I hear someone using "insulting" terms who doesn't belong to the particular group (in jokes, for instance), I tell the person who's using the word (the "n" word or "faggot" or "queer" or whatever) that if they don't belong to the group, they don't get to say the word. Period. I think that's a safe rule to use in society.

 

This is all getting off the subject in the title, that being: what motivates the participation of the non-gay folks to read the stories and to participate in these forums? I just want to understand better and not infer why people are interested. I can imagine all sorts of reasons, but I have no idea if they're accurate or just products of my fertile imagination.

 

Cia, thanks for giving me/us some of your reasons for participating! Anyone else?

[Kia Zi Shiru]

hmmmm, contrary to what I first thought when I got here, there are barely any girls on this website, while there are amazing gay romance story's here.... I've been in multiple places looking for good story's and to place my own story. When I found this place I thought it wouldn't be any different than all the other ones. But somehow this place has been saved from the onslaught of teenage fangirls and it's great.

 

Why I kept around? The people here are amazing, I made some great friends here, and people won't judge me when I act like a guy instead of a girl sometimes. THNX guys!

[Nephylim]

I'm not really qualified to answer this question because I am not straight but for what it's worth the reason I came here was because I had been writing gay literature for some time and a gay friend of mine who was the first ever to read it suggested I take a look at the site as a means of getting others to do the same. So I came here just to post my stories and found and incredible community of interesting, accepting and 'real' people who made me feel, possibly for the first time ever that I could be completely and utterly myself and have not (yet) gone screaming to the hills when I do just that

 

This place is unique and I find it hard to believe that anyone who finds their way here would not want to stick around.

[MikeL]

This place is unique and I find it hard to believe that anyone who finds their way here would not want to stick around.

Very well said, Nephylim. There are 474 members currently on GA who identify themselves as straight; that's 6% of the total membership. There are also 1,115 (14%) who do not specify their sexuality (Still figuring it out, Ask me, Not telling).

 

GA is a great site for both good literature and good friends. There really is a sense of community here and it's good to know that minorities like straights won't be made to feel unwelcome.

[old bob]

GA is a great site for both good literature and good friends. There really is a sense of community here and it's good to know that minorities like straights won't be made to feel unwelcome.

Hahaha .Well said Mike .

Its nice to find a site where straights are qualified as minorities .

Could we imagine a world with a majority of GBLT-people ?

Why not ?

[Zeoanne]

Very well said, Nephylim. There are 474 members currently on GA who identify themselves as straight; that's 6% of the total membership. There are also 1,115 (14%) who do not specify their sexuality (Still figuring it out, Ask me, Not telling).

 

GA is a great site for both good literature and good friends. There really is a sense of community here and it's good to know that minorities like straights won't be made to feel unwelcome.

 

OK, add me to the 474 count of straight members. Now making it 475. Why do I come here? Well, as y'all know my daughter is lesbian and my twin guys are bi and for a short while I have suspicions that my youngest one is also lesbian, don't ask me how I know, I just know it (or at least suspect it), it's a mother's intuition. The same way that straight men enjoy two women going at it, same goes for straight women where two guys are concerned. Also, I like writing gay stories and very much reading them.

Also, y'all know that you are basically my family. As I've stated in the recent past, I can't talk to my family about things I can and have talk to some of you here. I can be myself and have fun. I've made many wonderful friends of whom I wouldn't mind meeting in person. Some of you call me mom, some of you come to me with your worries, knowing I would not reproach you, on the contrary, I try to find solutions to uncertainties, problems, etc. Why? I care about you and I truly wish I could do much more than just throw some words inside this box in front of me. I so much wish I could embrace those who are crying deep inside, feeling lost and hurt. I wish I could somehow erase the horrors, the things that have happened in the past of some of you guys. I know what it feels to feel lonely, to be hurt, to feel unwanted, emotionally abused and that's something I don't wish to anyone, especially you my darlings (no matter how old you are)... under any circumstance.

I don't think you'll find another member who spends more time in this site as I do. Consider me the watch 'wo-man'.

And Marcos, don't you DARE call me mom!!!

 

Trying to keep you safe... Love, Mom

 

P.S. I AM a minority in more ways than one... I'm a woman, hispanic and straight! YIKES!!! By the way, the word faggot, queer, etc. to me is as offensive as the word nigger, spic, honky, etc. I don't like it when I hear rap songs (no i don't listen to rap either) and the singers are using it. I believe that if you don't want ANYONE, joke or otherwise to call you by those words, don't use them yourself. I am not gay and the words offend me nonetheless.

Edited October 29, 2009 by Rush

[Former Member]

I have nothing to say.

 

 

[Nephylim]

OK, add me to the 474 count of straight members. Now making it 475. Why do I come here? Well, as y'all know my daughter is lesbian and my twin guys are bi and for a short while I have suspicions that my youngest one is also lesbian, don't ask me how I know, I just know it (or at least suspect it), it's a mother's intuition. The same way that straight men enjoy two women going at it, same goes for straight women where two guys are concerned. Also, I like writing gay stories and very much reading them.

Also, y'all know that you are basically my family. As I've stated in the recent past, I can't talk to my family about things I can and have talk to some of you here. I can be myself and have fun. I've made many wonderful friends of whom I wouldn't mind meeting in person. Some of you call me mom, some of you come to me with your worries, knowing I would not reproach you, on the contrary, I try to find solutions to uncertainties, problems, etc. Why? I care about you and I truly wish I could do much more than just throw some words inside this box in front of me. I so much wish I could embrace those who are crying deep inside, feeling lost and hurt. I wish I could somehow erase the horrors, the things that have happened in the past of some of you guys. I know what it feels to feel lonely, to be hurt, to feel unwanted, emotionally abused and that's something I don't wish to anyone, especially you my darlings (no matter how old you are)... under any circumstance.

I don't think you'll find another member who spends more time in this site as I do. Consider me the watch 'wo-man'.

And Marcos, don't you DARE call me mom!!!

 

Trying to keep you safe... Love, Mom

 

P.S. I AM a minority in more ways than one... I'm a woman, hispanic and straight! YIKES!!! By the way, the word faggot, queer, etc. to me is as offensive as the word nigger, spic, honky, etc. I don't like it when I hear rap songs (no i don't listen to rap either) and the singers are using it. I believe that if you don't want ANYONE, joke or otherwise to call you by those words, don't use them yourself. I am not gay and the words offend me nonetheless.

 

 

Me too

[TalonRider]

I've refrained from posting since the beginning of this topic to give people time to reply.

 

MikeL and Rush both hit on to something that I was thinking as reasons for straight's being here. It is one way for them to show and give this community support.

[jenni]

I love a good story whether it be gay or straight and, quite frankly, a lot of the best fiction on the internet is gay fiction. I read a theory one time that it was because it was harder for a gay fiction story to be published, so more of the quality stuff was available online. Whether that's true or not, I don't know, but I will say that I would put fiction writers such as Dom Luka and Mark Arbour, as well as others affiliated with this site, up against any other online fiction writers, and their stories are certainly better than the harlequin-type romances I used to pay real money for.

 

Plus, as Rush said, the idea of two men together is not unattractive to an open-minded straight woman . . .

 

As an aside, I think reading some of the fiction here has opened my eyes a little bit. I am not, nor have I been close to anyone whom I knew to be, gay or bisexual. I don't think I was prejudiced or anything like that, I mean I wouldn't have come here if I were, but I didn't really have an understanding of what it meant, especially for teens, to be gay. I really wish that every kid in school had to read some of these stories, and then maybe there would be more understanding. So, for that reason and others, I'm really glad that I did come here.

Edited November 6, 2009 by jenni

[Guest babybird71974]

I am new to the site and I have actually looking for a forum like this for awhile. I have always been a supporter of GBLT rights and been active in events in my area. However, that last year or so, I have started to suspect my son is gay (I'm about 99.5% sure) and I am doing the best I can to prepare myself for when he tells me. Although, honestly, I think he already knows he's safe here (last night, he told me Zac Efron is hot- I take that as a positive sign).

Anyway, as I said, i've been looking for a forum like this more as a way of educating myself even more on the subject. And I'm hoping to learn enough from observing all of you to help him when he's ready.

Also, since I discovered gay fiction, it is almost the only thing I read. I'm not sure why. It's not the sex- I tend to prefer stories that are plot-driven and have little sex and when there is sex I usually skip it. I don't quite understand what the draw is.

[MikeL]

MikeL and Rush both hit on to something that I was thinking as reasons for straight's being here. It is one way for them to show and give this community support.

I hope I really am doing that. Please call me on it if you ever feel that I am not supporting the community.

[Amelia]

I have always loved reading romances about gay men. I have thought a lot about why it turns me on since, in my experiences, its not something straight women talk openly, and for a long time I felt like I should keep my feelings quiet for fear of censure.

 

I think the cognitive and emotional thrill comes from reading about two men expressing their love for each other in a way you don't often hear verbally. I think what I mean by that is, a gay male author might write a story that is full of incredible romanticism and incredibly expressive and eloquent, but, as a man (without the author's hat on) may not express these things to his actual partner as openly. In my experience, many men have a problem communicating their emotions, both gay and straight. I have a very happy marriage and I am very much in love with my husband, but we often struggle with maintaining open communication and me feeling like he isn't talking to me about things, or hearing what I have to say. Often in these romances, the characters have the same struggle, but you hear the thoughts in their head and see them work to put it in the open.

 

I am also sexually thrilled by the thought of two men together and look forward to reading these scenes. There could be lots of different reasons for this. A friend of mine (who happens to be a lesbian, with no attraction to males) said that maybe its because its illicit, that women are turned on because its different from what they have experienced. I think the larger part of it is, that I am wholly turned on by men (I have no real attraction to woman, although I can tell you when I think one is beautiful or not). Everything about the male form turns me on. Two males is just double that.

 

Anyways, I enjoy the community here and offering my support for the GLBT community, as I often do out in the world. I look forward to (and often obsess about) the story updates at GA. I look for certain people's comments in threads and keep any eye on blogs, because the people here are interesting. They make me want to know more about them and hear what they have to say.

 

This seems to be rambling and if you ask me to clarify anything I said, I will be happy to try.

[KJames]

I am new to the site and I have actually looking for a forum like this for awhile. I have always been a supporter of GBLT rights and been active in events in my area. However, that last year or so, I have started to suspect my son is gay (I'm about 99.5% sure) and I am doing the best I can to prepare myself for when he tells me. Although, honestly, I think he already knows he's safe here (last night, he told me Zac Efron is hot- I take that as a positive sign).

Anyway, as I said, i've been looking for a forum like this more as a way of educating myself even more on the subject. And I'm hoping to learn enough from observing all of you to help him when he's ready.

Also, since I discovered gay fiction, it is almost the only thing I read. I'm not sure why. It's not the sex- I tend to prefer stories that are plot-driven and have little sex and when there is sex I usually skip it. I don't quite understand what the draw is.

 

Welcome to GA, Mrs. Bird. And when the time comes, you might want to have your son sign up here, too.

 

To tackle your question on what the draw on gay fiction is:

 

Most gay teens face being ostracized and shunned in school--left alone--and it can generate some terrible, horribly insecure feelings or depression (bad depression), or they are outright harrassed and beaten up nearly constantly--and there are all manner of situations in-between. I was lucky, I was left alone, and that was fine with me--I could deal with it as an only child--but I wasn't out at school, nor was I out at home. The teasing from others' based on their perception of me only because of my name--words--was what really hurt the most; they didn't know me, so how could they say such horrible, hurtful things? I hope that times have changed enough that your son has a good, honest, respectable circle of friends who won't leave him over this.

 

Gay fiction does the same thing for gays as 'mainstream' fiction for all; it lets us escape to a reality where we are accepted and supported by others, loved and cherished by someone special and where we can contribute in our own way to that relationship. It helps us become better people by letting us learn our 'life-lessons' based on what should happen, rather than fighting to make it happen; then we can go out and make a difference in reality based on what we have learned about treating others or how relationships should work, hopefully without making too many pratfalls along that way. What the draw to gay fiction is for guys is that there has to be some sex...not a lot, but some, and the description has to be vivid enough to get us our rise, but calm enough that it shouldn't be on 'nifty' instead. Think "Little Old Ladies Who Read Paperback Romance Novels with a Shirtless Long-haired Guy on the cover"...and you're close. The stories that are just about relationships, well--they may make us feel all warm and fuzzy--it's like a 'chick flick' or a 'feel-good' movie for most straight folks. The main thing is that most of them are uplifting and portray us positively and affirm our right to exist without fault.

 

Most of the stories contain some kind of sex that is male-male, and it ranges from what movie censors would call "G" to "XXX" depending on which author wrote it--however, since sex is part of a healthy, loving relationship, just not the only part, I don't feel that you should skip those parts...you might even learn something (If I do say so myself, oh-wait-I just did, didn't I? )--or be entertained, some of the authors use a sexual situation mixed with humor and make me laugh. Some of the stories are in the realm of Science Fiction or Fantasy and as such, some parts of social situations or customs are quite different--for example, Gone From Daylight: Taryn's Song, and the rest of the original GFD Series by Comicality, our resident Vampire expert--or the Book of Heroes series by David McLeod--or the two excellent Science Fiction serials written by dkstories, Dreams of Humanity and Dreams of a Father (which also contain descriptive sex). For relationship stories, the one that comes to mind is Desert Dropping by Dom Luka, otherwise checkout author Graeme, most of his stories are about relationships and very good also. For something a little more modern, I recommend Mark Arbour's Chronicles of an Academic Predator Series (It's the Title of the first story in the series and it's an odd title considering the first connotation that pops into minds), go to his page (search Authors for him, and click his name), click on CAP and you'll go to a listing of the stories, in order, for that series. It starts Spring of 1962, and so is a fairly modernly set storyline (the current story, The Box, is set in the late 1990's), complete with a true 'atomic family', and the author's team is even trying to put together a family tree for all the characters, the poor dears (You'll understand my sympathy for them after you've read it). Don't rush on Mark Arbour's series, you'll be going through at least 450 chapters plus. Yes, 450, he runs 40-50 chapters a story, easily. Another one that is set in modern days and is still in progress is Circumnavigation by CJames (no relation, as far as I know, but my dad's clan is at about 250 people and growing) and has little sex to date.

 

A Word of Caution: You will find stories on here that relate scenes of child abuse, and there are some horrible, terrible, painful depictions...all of these things have a basis in truth somewhere. If you read one of these, you might find yourself stopping and starting again after a while. There are also depictions of death, some expected, some unexpected, as with any good store-bought novel; some of the situations are with children, not all are from natural causes.

Again, welcome, enjoy your time here; support and love your son whichever direction he chooses, but always enjoy yourself and .

Edited February 25, 2010 by KJames

[zland666]

I don't want to be a community buster, but I'm curious. You folks who are heterosexual men or heterosexual women, I'd like to get a clearer understanding of what benefits, gratification, etc you derive from participating. Aside from enjoying my sparkling wit, of course!

 

Please, let us (male homosexuals, faggots and sissy boys) know! TKS

 

 

I also notice how nice you guys are but that's not what drove me here, Gay boys making out turns me on especially when there hot. Well let me tell you there are alot of cute gay boys here.

 

*cough* Lacey * coughs*

[Steve3]

This thread reminds me of a T-shirt/Bumper that was making the rounds in the mid-90's. And still available in Oaklawn.

 

Anyway, my best friends from Microsoft would always wear something like that for Gay Pride in Dallas.

 

Makes me smile to think.

 

[Daisy139]

In a way I'm still figuring out what exactly my sexual orientation is (although I'm about to settle for a simple bisexual, just because I'm tired of looking for a label).

 

I'm more attracted to men than to women, but I would lie if I said women don't interest me in *that* way. A couple years ago, when I started to realize that what I feel for some women is most likely sexual attraction, I would start reading f/f fiction and really enjoyed it. (and btw, I've also always been intrigued by m/m, for reasons that would be too complicated to explain here I guess).

 

After years of mulling it over and trying to determine if I'm bisexual or bi-curious or whatever else, I started another round of internet research and wanted to find a place where I could hang out with people who don't just take "straight" as the default setting, where I could be more open about my sexual dis-orientation. I found a forum and started reading there, but one of the first things I got to hear - froma lesbian - was how bisexuals don't exist and they're all closeted straight and gay people, or people who are confused. I am confused, but not in that sense.

 

So, I kept looking....found GA.... got hooked on reading again... and here I am. I mostly just feel comfortable in an environment like this, where it's ok not to be straight or even not to know exactly where you stand.

 

I've only "come out" as bi/confused to one person... even though I've had bi and gay friends. But I guess that alone is not enough to trust someone enough to talk about such personal things. On the internet that's much easier.