German company Haribo has launched attack against North America

[wildone]

I've heard quite a few comments from our European friends how the love Haribo.

 

Although I'm not sure if this refers to all the different sweets that the company makes or if it is just one particular thing, but I remember a few saying they love it.

 

Today, I saw an article on how Haribo has launched a line of Gummy Bears that have been fully 'weaponized'

 

http://ca.shine.yahoo.com/blogs/shine-on/fully-weaponized-gummy-bears-amazon-202739384.html

 

Yes, they have attacked in the form of innocent looking little gummy bears containing a lab altered sugar which when consumed in larger quantities is a natural laxative. Eating more then a few of these cute creatures can have you in writhing pain while taking up residence on your throne!!!

 

What should we do in reaction?

 

Being someone who loves Gummy Bears and being a diabetic, these little invaders would appeal to me. Yet, I now know the assault these guys are capable of, I will have to refrain from enjoying them (BTW, ever take two Gummy Bears and flip them head to toe to each others and they make a perfect 69 position ).

 

So what do you think?

 

 

P.S. This topic is all in fun Please don't take out your worst political and controversial subjects against each others I'm looking for maybe something like adding ExLax to Swiss Chocolate

Edited January 19, 2014 by wildone

[Mann Ramblings]

I love that "article", it's been passed around Facebook a bit and we've shared it with our own Haribo addict, Never Surrender. She seemed somehow less amused than we were, but not by much. LOL

Edited January 19, 2014 by Mann Ramblings

[Slytherin]

I bought an Haribo advent calender last year for me nephew, too bad it got lost in the mail     I have also read about this and I Think it's very funny... 

 

 

 

 

(BTW, ever take two Gummy Bears and flip them head to toe to each others and they make a perfect 69 position ).

 

 

    

[Kitt]

 I'm looking for maybe something like adding ExLax to Swiss Chocolate

Funny you should mention that - we used to camp at a big entry street stock race (entry level stock car racing) every year. There was one guy who called himself Zonker Glatzback after the cartoon character who would show up with no supplies and sleep on the bench seat of his pickup, mooching off of the rest of us for the 5 day camp out. By the third year some chocolate Exlax was stirred into his begged cup of hot chocolate. Low and behold, he started packing food the following year.

[Andy78]

So poor Steve can either eat proper Gummy Bears and go into a coma, or eat these special German ones and go through a dozen rolls of Purex Ultra and a very large jar of vaseline.

 

A friend of mine is diabetic and we actually bake a lot of cakes, cookies and the such for when she wants something to nibble on.  I also make a lot of lemon curd for her (I make a sugarless one for her) which she uses for dipping fruit.

 

It really sucks when you can't eat whatever you want.

[Never Surrender]

i actually came ridiculously close to ordering some of these once, now im glad that i didnt!

i guess i could use them as some kind of negative association reinforcement? haribo = pain? 

 

either way, im currently attempted a diet with less than half my normal sugar intake and its giving me hell    long live my redbull & haribo diet!

[Aditus]

I worked for them once... In Germany we have warnings written on the package, maybe they' forgot' them on the internationally sold bags?

[Fishwings]

Read the first review:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/product-reviews/B000EVQWKC

 

Thank me later.

[MikeL]

The bags of Haribo sugar free gummi bears sold in the US have the warning.  Some people never read the small print.

 

Here is an actual customer review from Amazon:

 

Do not bring to sporting events!  January 18, 2014

The place: BMO Harris Bradley Center
The event: Bucks VS Spurs
The snack: Satan's Diarrhea Hate Bears made by Haribo

I recently took my 4 year old son to his first NBA game. He was very excited to go to the game, and I was excited because we had fantastic seats. Row C center court to be exact. I've never sat that close before. I've never had to go DOWN stairs to get to my seats. 24 stairs to get to my seats to be exact.

His favorite candy is Skittles. Mine are anything gummy. I snuck in a bag of skittles for my son, and grabbed a handful of gummy bears for myself, to be later known as Satan's Diarrhea Hate Bears, that I received for Christmas in bulk from my parents, and put them in a zip lock bag.

After the excitement of the 1st quarter has ended I take my son out to get him a bottled water and myself a beer. We return to our seats to enjoy our candy and drinks.

..............fast forward until 1 minute before half time...........

I have begun to sweat a sweat that is only meant for a man on mile 19 of a marathon. I have kicked out my legs out so straight that I am violently pushing the gentleman wearing a suit seat in front of me forward. He is not happy, I do not care. My hands are on the side of my seat not unlike that of a gymnast on a pommel horse, lifting me off my chair. My son is oblivious to what is happening next to him, after all, there is a mascot running around somewhere and he is eating candy.

I realize that at some point in the very near to immediate future I am going to have to allow this lava from Satan to forcefully expel itself from my innards. I also realize that I have to walk up 24 stairs just to get to level ground in hopes to make it to the bathroom. I’ll just have to sit here stiff as a board for a few moments waiting for the pain to subside. About 30 seconds later there is a slight calm in the storm of the violent hurricane that is going on in my lower intestine. I muster the courage to gently relax every muscle in my lower half and stand up. My son stands up next to me and we start to ascend up the stairs. I take a very careful and calculated step up the first stair. Then a very loud horn sounds. Halftime. Great. It’s going to be crowded. The horn also seems to have awaken the Satan's Diarrhea Hate Bears that are having a mosh pit in my stomach. It literally felt like an avalanche went down my stomach and I again have to tighten every muscle and stand straight up and focus all my energy on my poor sphincter to tighten up and perform like it has never performed before. Taking another step would be the worst idea possible, the flood gates would open. Don’t worry, Daddy has a plan. I some how mumble the question, “want to play a game?” to my son, he of course says “yes”. My idea is to hop on both feet allllll the way up the stairs, using the center railing to propel me up each stair. My son is always up for a good hopping game, so he complies and joins in on the “fun”. Some old lady 4 steps up thinks its cute that we are doing this, obviously she wasn’t looking at the panic on my face. 3 rows behind her a man about the same age as me, who must have had similar situations, notices the fear/panic/desperation on my face understands the danger that I along with my pants and anyone within a 5 yard radius spray zone are in. He just mouths the words “good luck man” to me and I press on. Half way up and there is no leakage, but my legs are getting tired and my sphincter has never endured this amount of pressure for this long of time. 16 steps/hops later…….4 steps to go…….My son trips and falls on the stairs, I have two options: keep going knowing he will catch up or bend down to pick him up relieving my sphincter of all the pressure and commotion while ruining the day of roughly the 50 people that are now watching a grown man hop up stairs while sweating profusely next to a 4 year old boy.

Luckily he gets right back up and we make it to the top of the stairs. Good, the hard part was over. Or so I thought. I managed to waddle like a penguin, or someone who is about to poop their pants in 2.5 seconds, to the men's room only to find that every stall is being used. EVERY STALL. It's halftime, of course everyone has to poop at that moment. I don't know if I can wait any longer, do I go ahead and fulfil the dream of every high school boy and poop in the urinal? What kind of an example would that set for my son? On the other hand, what kind of an example would it be for his father to fill his pants with a substance that probably will be unrecognizable to man. Suddenly a stall door opens, and I think I manage to actually levitate over to the stall. I my son follows me in, luckily it was the handicap stall so there was room for him to be out of the way. I get my pants off and start to sit. I know what taking a giant poo feels like. I also know what vomiting feels like. I can now successfully say that I know what it is like to vomit out my butt. I wasn't pooping, those Satan's Diarrhea Hate Bears did something to my insides that made my sphincter vomit our the madness.

I am now conscious of my surroundings. Other than the war that the bottom half of my body is currently having with this porcelain chair, it is quiet as a pin drop in the bathroom. The other men in there can sense that something isn't right, no one has heard anyone ever poop vomit before.

I can sense that the worst part is over. But its not stopping, nor can I physically stop it at this point, I am leaking..it's horrible. I call out "does anyone have a diaper?" hoping that some gentleman was changing a baby. Nothing. No one said a word. I know people are in there, I can see the toes of shoes pointed in my direction under the stall.. "DOES ANYONE HAVE A DIAPER!?!" I am screaming, my son is now crying, he thinks he is witnessing the death of his father. I can't even assure him that I will make it.

Not a word was said, but a diaper was thrown over the stall. I catch it, line my underwear with it, put my pants back on, and walk out of that bathroom like a champ. We go straight to our seats, grab out coats and go home. As we are walking out, the gentleman that wished me good luck earlier simply put his fist out, and I happily bumped it.

My son asks me, "Daddy, why are we leaving early?"
"Well son, I need to change my diaper"

Edited January 19, 2014 by MikeL

[Ron]

The reviews on Amazon... Well, I originally thought the were fake but there are just too many of them expelling expressing the same symptoms. Some of those reviews like the one Mike posted are really quite eloquent.

[joann414]

Have laughed a this over and over.

[Sasha Distan]

Read the first review:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/product-reviews/B000EVQWKC

 

Thank me later.

 

thanking you now! My lunch break had just become hilarious 

[Sympathia]

We will bring you to your knees, one gummy bear at a time!

[Arpeggio]

I prefer gummy worms. The store down the street sells gummy octopuses. I like to pretend that they are real as I nibble off their tentacles, muwahahahahaha. 

[Zombie]

now we know why a little blue bear still needs her nappy...

[Slytherin]

now we know why a little blue bear still needs her nappy...

You is so jealous that you are not blue, fluffy & cute - Zombie is just green and nekkid and.. green