poetry Poetry Prompt 5 – Rhymes and Couplets

[AC Benus]

Poetry Prompt 5 – Rhymes and Couplets

 

Let's Write some Rhymed Couplets!

Why use rhyme at all..? There are a few different reasons; one is to enhance rhythm. We have studied the way in which a poet like Emily Dickinson used alternating rhythms of metre to accent her lines, and she could also choose to punctuate her meanings with rhyme if she wanted to. So that leads us to the second reason, emphasis. You can draw attention to the concept you are presenting in the poem by putting a literary exclamation point on it through use of a Couplet (a matched rhyme in two consecutive lines). The third reason is for humor, for let's face it, the Couplet is difficult to do in English because it can come off sounding hokey. Shakespeare made fun of poor poets in As You Like It. The love-stricken Orlando nails heartfelt verse to the local trees in honor of Rosalind. When found, the jealous Touchstone makes up his own Couplets to knock the young lovers:

 

Sweetest nut from sourest rind,

Such a nut is Rosalind.

 

Early English poets loved the rhyming Couplet, as it was foreign to ancient Latin and Greek poetry, and was thus considered something new. It first appeared in Italian or French lyric verse, and then became very popular, even though it's far more challenging to rhyme in this language than in the Romance tongues. Nevertheless, some beautiful and powerful Couplets have come down to us through the ages. Many people know them by heart, like Helen Hunt Jackson's lines:

 

Bee to the blossom, moth to the flame;

Each to his passion, what's in a name?[1]

 

In her lines one can feel the power of the imagery, for although the same sentiments can be said in a simpler way, the poetics of the way she presents the basic idea makes it unforgettable.  

Couplets are also excellent for lightheartedness and sexual innuendo. Witness this gem from John Donne:

 

Licence my roving hands, and let them go

Behind, before, above, between, below.

 

Or sometimes, out and out silliness and humor. W. H. Auden wrote a performance translation of a Goldoni opera libretto named Arcifanfano, King of Fools, as set by the composer Karl Ditters.[2] In his production, Auden chose to stick with Couplets throughout because they lead to some hilarious moments. Like these:

 

But who's this modest maiden,

Not with brains overladen?

 

Such as she seems to be frigid,

With principles too rigid.

They blush and retreat and say no,

And when you touch them, erupt like a volcano!

 

So how can we build a complex piece in a more serious mode using Couplets? By using the tools we have already learned about – that poetic lines are constructed considering syllable length (either plain or marched into a pattern of metre); that lyrical verse arises when the patterns are rhythmically matched (all lines are the same length) or alternated (lines follow a back and forth use of two different lengths); and that form is there to offer freedom of expression. Any poetical form takes time to master, but once mastery is gained, you can do anything you want with it.

Here is an example of what I mean. A couple of years ago I wanted to provide a translation for a particular piece of music in one of my stories. Although the original German lyrics make use of a single rhyme throughout, I knew that in English that would sound forced and bizarre. Answer? Couplets! Here is the result. You can find the music here; open it in a separate window and listen along as you read the lyrics. My aim was not to provide a slavish reiteration of the original words, but to create a beautiful performance poem that can both carry the meaning of the poet and the weight of the music.                 

 

Sleeping softly, or so it seems,
Heaven enters us in our dreams;
Angels hover round about,
Showing they comfort doubt;
Two are singing sweetly,
Two with blossoms neatly
Spread a bed of roses,
And there my heart reposes,
For heaven will not forsake
We who at dawn must awake.

 

The prompt: write your own set of five Couplets using the music provided here. You have a choice of being serious or silly, it's up to you. If serious, write about how you hope to meet your goals and ambitions for the coming new year. If you are feeling silly and irrelevant, write about how lame this challenge is, or anything else you like. The point is, practice, practice, practice! Get a feel for letting rhyme come to you as you construct Couplets.     

 

 

 

 

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[1] Jackson was a school friend of Emily Dickinson, and apparently their relationship was one that started off romantically. The surviving letters between them hint at this very strongly. See Rebecca Patterson's book, The Riddle of Emily Dickinson, Boston 1951.  

[2] You can buy the Auden-directed production recording of the work here:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/dittersdorf-arcifanfano-king/id162471301

Edited February 2, 2023 by AC Benus

[Aditus]

The links don't work in my neck of the woods, so is it the text/lyrics of 'The Evening Prayer - Hansel and Gretel?

[Dolores Esteban]

I can't watch the video either. I copied the lyrics from the internet and spent a couple of hours composing

 

The Oracle

[craftingmom]

Here's my attempt at this, poetry is not really my thing (and certainly not rhymes), so I wanted to try the challenge

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/story/craftingmom/attemptsatpoetry/1

[AC Benus]

The links don't work in my neck of the woods, so is it the text/lyrics of 'The Evening Prayer - Hansel and Gretel?

yes, that's exactly what the music is.

[AC Benus]

I can't watch the video either. I copied the lyrics from the internet and spent a couple of hours composing

 

The Oracle

Thanks for taking the challenge! I feared no one would be game for this one, but so far so good with the responses. 

 

I like the somber and rather musical lilt to your poem. I think it is perfect for a classical musical setting. Good job!

[AC Benus]

Here's my attempt at this, poetry is not really my thing (and certainly not rhymes), so I wanted to try the challenge

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/story/craftingmom/attemptsatpoetry/1

I just love to hear that you decided to take the challenge precisely because it is challenging. I am the same way

 

The way your poem flows is very good to me. I love how you seemed to capture the indecision and faltering stop-and-go at the beginning, and then that becomes overrun by excitement and free-flowing ideas as the poem comes to a climax. Really nice - I hope decide to stick with it and try some more rhymes!   

[Aditus]

Okay, let's just say I am in a very weird mood. That's why I made two.

[AC Benus]

Okay, let's just say I am in a very weird mood. That's why I made two.

Very impressive, Canis Lupus Cyanus. i hope everybody has a chance to check them out! 

[Irritable1]

Here's mine.

 

It... got a little dark. 

 

Edit: and you know what, on looking it over, I see I pretty much abandoned meter. I'll need to take another shot at it.

 

Edit: Ok, I listened to the piece quite a number of times, carefully keeping my eyes off Kathleen Battle's sleeves, which would otherwise scramble my thought process, and I THINK I've got something I can work with now. It's seven syllables per line, or six syllables with the last-but-two in the line extended to almost take up two beats. Trochees for the first three feet, and the seventh syllable is stressed also. Phew. Life is hard for the tone-deaf!

Edited January 6, 2015 by Irritable1

[Dolores Esteban]

I really like this poetry workshop. I look forward to the next installment.

[Aditus]

Here's mine.

 

It... got a little dark. 

 

Edit: and you know what, on looking it over, I see I pretty much abandoned meter. I'll need to take another shot at it.

 

Edit: Ok, I listened to the piece quite a number of times, carefully keeping my eyes off Kathleen Battle's sleeves, which would otherwise scramble my thought process, and I THINK I've got something I can work with now. It's seven syllables per line, or six syllables with the last-but-two in the line extended to almost take up two beats. Trochees for the first three feet, and the seventh syllable is stressed also. Phew. Life is hard for the tone-deaf!

Holy shit that sounds complicated. Why do I think I didn't take this serious enough now? Meter?

 

Edit: forgot an 'n'.

Edited January 6, 2015 by aditus

[Irritable1]

 

 

Why do I think I didn't take this serious enough now? 

 

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeves? 

 

Let me see what I can do today, approaching it from the "angel" side and not the other....

 

Edit: Darn it! I was four lines in and doing great before I remembered about the rhymes 

Edited January 6, 2015 by Irritable1

[Aditus]

So it was a good thing the videos didn't work, no distracting sleeeeeeeves. For me it was all the numbers. Must be the natural scientist in me, or the math tutor or my great-great aunt.

[Irritable1]

AUGH, I cannot work under these conditions  I'm awarding myself an additional trochee per line.

 

Rhyme + meter = walking + chewing gum. Which I also can't do too well 

Edited January 6, 2015 by Irritable1

[AC Benus]

AUGH, I cannot work under these conditions  I'm awarding myself an additional trochee per line.

 

Rhyme + meter = walking + chewing gum. Which I also can't do too well 

Award away! Sit down and chew your gum; it's safer that way

[Irritable1]

Done. And oy, is it sappy.

[Percy]

This one was a struggle.  My writing voice is too chirpy for such a somber sound.  I think I got the text tone to match the music.  

 

Reflection 

[Percy]

Here's mine.

 

It... got a little dark. 

 

Edit: and you know what, on looking it over, I see I pretty much abandoned meter. I'll need to take another shot at it.

 

Edit: Ok, I listened to the piece quite a number of times, carefully keeping my eyes off Kathleen Battle's sleeves, which would otherwise scramble my thought process, and I THINK I've got something I can work with now. It's seven syllables per line, or six syllables with the last-but-two in the line extended to almost take up two beats. Trochees for the first three feet, and the seventh syllable is stressed also. Phew. Life is hard for the tone-deaf!

 

Yeah, Battle was channeling some 1980s fabulous with those sleeves.  Fill them with helium and see if she levitates!

[AC Benus]

This one was a struggle.  My writing voice is too chirpy for such a somber sound.  I think I got the text tone to match the music.  

 

Reflection 

I was surprised to see both you and Irri doubt that the words fit the music. I went in with no preconceived notions - reading your lyrics and listening to the video - and found it worked really, really well. With music, the metre has to slide here and there and be equal to two beats, if the melody carries it that way. I was also impressed at how well the question mark ending one of the first lines matched the minor key modulation in the music - i think you did better than me at that particular juncture. Job well done!       

Done. And oy, is it sappy.

I for one do not find it to be 'sappy.' It seems true to life to me, and also very tender. I like it a lot 

[AC Benus]

Done. And oy, is it sappy.

William Shakespeare liked the poetical notion that a person's eyes casts out light onto what they see. The more sympathetic, he seemed to say, we look upon people, the more closely we can relate to what we see in them. I think that's akin to the idea you were trying to say in your reply to my review    

[AC Benus]

As for Kathleen Battle's infamous 'balloon sleeves,' she was just obviously using them to push Flicka (the other singer) out of the limelight! Or, at least marginalize her to the periphery of the camera frame ; )

 

BTW, this was a Christmas concert at Carnegie Hall in 1991. Here's another sample – the number immediately after the Hansel and Gretel prayer song. For those of you who cannot open the links to youtube, can you let me know if you can watch it here as a preview window..? That would be a big help if I knew you could.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nChsp_KuCZQ

 

Gesú bambino, by Pietro A. Yon. Frederica von Stade, Kathleen Battle and the American Boys' Choir; André Previn conducts the Orchestra of Saint Luke's.  

Edited January 8, 2015 by AC Benus

[Irritable1]

William Shakespeare liked the poetical notion that a person's eyes casts out light onto what they see. The more sympathetic, he seemed to say, we look upon people, the more closely we can relate to what we see in them. I think that's akin to the idea you were trying to say in your reply to my review    

 

Thank you, that's a very warm and sweet way to look at it  It was definitely what I was trying for.

Edited January 9, 2015 by Irritable1

[Aditus]

 

 For those of you who cannot open the links to youtube, can you let me know if you can watch it here as a preview window..? That would be a big help if I knew you could.

 

 

No, at least I can't open it. For this particular piece I could listen to Luciano Pavarotti's interpretation though. So, if it's only the music and not the artist, that would be okay, right? Or do I need to see the sleeeeves and that she lives up to her name and pushes others out of the limelight?

[AC Benus]

 

 

No, at least I can't open it. For this particular piece I could listen to Luciano Pavarotti's interpretation though. So, if it's only the music and not the artist, that would be okay, right? Or do I need to see the sleeeeves and that she lives up to her name and pushes others out of the limelight?

 

Well, I just threw that vid in as a 'bonus,' and to see if GA would post it as they do in the blog entries. There it comes out as a preview window, and I was hoping you might be able to watch it if it appeared in that format.

 

Here is a great picture of Kathleen battling her power-wardrobe and pushing both Flicka and Wynton Marsalis to the edge of the camera frame! Haha - plz enjoy - http://www.amazon.com/Carnegie-Christmas-Frederica-Kathleen-Marsalis/dp/B000Q66PZW

Edited January 9, 2015 by AC Benus