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Poetry Prompt 7 - Blank Verse


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Actually, when I pack his suitcase I always hide a note somewhere, just like I know I will find a note sooner or later in an unlikely place :blushing: .

And that is beautiful. Cuz I've found it's the little things that are important and keep us together.

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It seems, tim, we were working on the same prompt. Here is my attempt:

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/story/jhunterdunn/petersprobationarypoems/3

It's a wonderful poem, Peter! It's interesting how you and Mikiesboy posted on the same day, and illustrated similar themes. Hurray for us men-loving men; apparently we're the best lovers around!!! :)   

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We are! And I love yours. I have no likes though! We have similar themes as well! Love, remembrance, the sweet things our loves do. Who said men are not thoughtful or romantic? I'm sure your poem, printed and found later in his suitcase would be adored.

That is such a fantastic idea, Tim!

Actually, when I pack his suitcase I always hide a note somewhere, just like I know I will find a note sooner or later in an unlikely place :blushing: .

Wonderful romantics... You guys touch my heart <3

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That is such a fantastic idea, Tim!

Wonderful romantics... You guys touch my heart <3

Group hug .. oh.. sorry, lol.. big cheesy grin instead then, yeah?

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It's a wonderful poem, Peter! It's interesting how you and Mikiesboy posted on the same day, and illustrated similar themes. Hurray for us men-loving men; apparently we're the best lovers around!!! :)   

 I wandered in here because of Peter's and Tim's poems because after leaving a review for Peter, I had the idea that side by side the two made for a wonderful compare and contrast on the same theme.. 

 

And yes AC, men are apparently the best lovers around..  :P But still, Hurray indeed! 

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 I wandered in here because of Peter's and Tim's poems because after leaving a review for Peter, I had the idea that side by side the two made for a wonderful compare and contrast on the same theme.. 

 

And yes AC, men are apparently the best lovers around..  :P But still, Hurray indeed! 

I think men are brilliant lovers, and romantics. 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Very well. This is practice, and a response to the prompt. Comments welcome.

This is written for the character Zander, in my story A to Z. He watches Andy, asleep.

 

I watched you breathe last night; the moon came out

and filtered through the curtained windowpane.

Your shoulder blade moved millimeters with

each easy cadenced sigh; its subtle line

by shadow so defined invited me

to kiss and linger there. And yet I feared

to wake you, lest I scar your holy sleep,

unmarred by demons, nightmares from your hell.

And hell enough to leave untouched your skin

when I would love, enfold you, pull you in.

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Very well. This is practice, and a response to the prompt. Comments welcome.

This is written for the character Zander, in my story A to Z. He watches Andy, asleep.

 

I watched you breathe last night; the moon came out

and filtered through the curtained windowpane.

Your shoulder blade moved millimeters with

each easy cadenced sigh; its subtle line

by shadow so defined invited me

to kiss and linger there. And yet I feared

to wake you, lest I scar your holy sleep,

unmarred by demons, nightmares from your hell.

And hell enough to leave untouched your skin

when I would love, enfold you, pull you in.

It's such a beautiful scene, I feel like I am there. 

 

Also impressive is your regular pentameter, which appears flawless to my eyes right now. That's stricter adherence than I think I ever allow myself :)

 

My one 'area' to perhaps focus on are the breaks between the lines. For example, separating 'with each' over two lines distracts the reader a bit, imo.

 

I look forward to seeing if Andy will have a reply for the boy watching him sleep ;)

 

This is more than exercise, Parker. It is beautiful poetry.

Edited by AC Benus
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  • 7 months later...

This one is a great prompt to practice on. Learning about metre in the abstract is fine, but construing lines in Blank Verse is where experience and growth can happen. Hands on training, so to speak. 

 

I'll leave you a review on the posting itself. Thanks for taking the Poetry Prompt challenge!

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